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sugaroto · 1 year

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[This was supposed to be about the twinyards but I think I started venting, feel free to interact or ignore]

Some months ago I realized the relationship I "have" with my sisters reminded me of the twinyards

Not how they are in the books, and without all their trauma and killing

But when Aaron found out he had a brother

He wanted to meet him

And in reality, he didn't know whether Andrew would want to see him, and when he got the "fuck you go away" letter things went, well, to hell

I relate to them in in that phase

I have two younger half- sisters, I don't know if they want to see me. I want to see them, but I don't want anything to do with my "father". Andrew probably wanted nothing to do with Tilda too

We're not twins and they're a lot younger than me, I actually met the youngest one just some weeks ago, but she must be like 4 so when my father was like "Hey that's your sister" she obviously ignored me. She has a sister she sees daily, she doesn't know me.

Do they want to meet me? I don't know. Do they hate me for not being there? Do they know what I've been through? How many lies have father told them? Is he blaming my mom?

I have a letter too, the older one sent me some years ago "I miss you a lot, and from you I want a kiss and a hug" how can you miss me you don't know me, I miss you too. But if I'm honest, some days I forget you exist. You probably do too, you have 3 siblings of your own, you see them daily, your older brothers are there for you. I don't know them and never will

Maybe they hate me. I don't know what their father told them about my mom and me, or why I'm away

Maybe we'll meet one day

If they want to see me after all

#sorry for the vent #this wasn't my intention at first #aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #aaron minyard #twinyards #sugarenia vent #sugarenia talks #sugarenia #sugarenia thoughts #sugaroto #the foxhole court #aftg fandom #aftg textpost #sugarenia has family #sugarenia diary

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sugaroto · 2 years

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When I was younger I used to read the dork diaries and in one of the books there were like questions about yourself and stuff and one had a "letter to 18 year old you"

I'll be reading this letter in a few months

The thing is, I remember some of the stuff I wrote... I'm not sure how old I was but I was in primary school for sure

I think one of the things I wrote was like "is P still bothering you and T? No huh? You're still friends right?" And some things about that I guess, I'm not sure, bc you know me and T were BFFE

As you can guess, we dont talk anymore, me and T

And it's not like we stopped talking years ago, it's recent

And we would still be talking if things didn't go the way they did

I don't really miss her to be honest, I have better friends now. And I can't recognize the person she is now, I see her stories and her snaps. I don't know that person, the girl I knew is long gone

But I know once I open that letter, past me, so sure about our forever friendship is asking questions about her most important person

Hope I wrote other stuff too besides the 10-year-olds-friendship-drama we had bc I don't care about that tbh, hope past me wrote something worth it

#past me would start crying if she knew P and T are friends now bc they go to the same school but me and T aren't cause she changed #not just changed schools- a whole personality too #but past me would be happy to know how many friends we had over the years #she'd be surprised to know that the girl we met once at a beach is now one of our closest people and that #we became friends cause she recommended shadow hunter at us when we were 14 #past me would be sad that my hair is short #but she would like the colors #sugarenia talks #sugarenia has friends #sugarenia #sugaroto #sugarenia does not have friends #sugarenia story time #sugarenia school stuff #sugarenia vent #dork diaries #past me #future me #barbasta8i

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sugaroto · 1 year

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Zjdbjzjd

If someone tells you their name is [name], then that's their fucking name. Stop trying to find out what "their actual name" is

So-

I'm having a birthday party this Saturday, (it's also a friend's nameday and we decided to celebrate it together) So we made a group chat with everyone to invite them.

We mostly have common friends so like, approximately 10 of the kids are our common friends, 5 are mine and 5 are hers

But it's cool cause we all go to the same school so yknow, not everyone is that close but we'll manage

Except one person, I invited someone that my classmates don't know, actually 2 of them know this person and have been friends for years (I met this person through them) and my best friend has also met this person one or twice

So we're gonna name this person Bob, so, Bob is not a greek name.

Today one of my friends was like who is this "usernameman guy?"

And she was talking with my friend who's met the guy and my friend was like his name is Bob

But she was like "There's no way his name is bob" so that's why they called me and asked me what usernameman's name actually was and I'm like "it's bob"

"But how can it be bob? His parents named him that?"

"That's what he introduced himself to me as. I guess it may be a nickname but that's how people call him so"

"Well I'm gonna call him Mpampi then"(or something very greek starting with the letter of the guy's actual name)

"His name is Bob"

...

Like. Ok. I know- I can tell, Bob is not the name he was given by his parents, I know his very greek last name. I've overheard people calling him by a different Greek name.

Still. He introduced himself as Bob. Their Instagram bio has "Call me Bob, they/she/he" and fanart with the non binary flag as a photo profile

In greek you can't really refer to someone with they/them so they're always referred with he/him pronouns (tho I've noticed sometimes they use feminine words for themselves like καλή) honestly I've been meaning to ask if they would also like to be called η Bob instead of ο Bob etc

My friend dropped the subject assuming I just don't know "his actual name"

But later as we were waiting for the bus one of their friends (I mentioned above I met this person through 2 other people) was there so my friend was like "oh he must know! [Dude] do you know what is usernameman's name?"

And all 3 of us(me, dude and my best friend) replied together that it's Bob

"That can't be his name! Dude whats his name?"

Dude: "it's... Bob"

"Are you kidding me how can it be Bob?!"

At that point my best friend snapped like "What's gotten into you my[girl]? Can you just drop it? The human is named bob" (Μπομπ τον λένε τον άνθρωπο, sounds more friendly in greek)

At that time Dude's parents arrived so he left but I saw his face. He didn't want to have that conversation

I'm sure he knows "his actual name" since they've been friends for years

But if the person introduces themselves as fucking Bob then call them Bob, why you gotta ask everyone

#honestly she kinda annoyed me #like idk if shes that bothered by the non greek name cant she just assume the guy is albanian or something and move on #like half the kids from our class are from Albania and they have non greek names #why was she so freaked out by 'bob'#like everyone is telling you his name is bob why are you insisting #and ok sure i said 'i think it's a nickname' but THATS WHAT PEOPLE CALL HIM #why do you need his fucking ID #oof ok. just wanted to rant on here #*just to clarify i just came up with 'bob' for something to write here. Bob is not the actual name the person uses #you know what. now that i think about it #my friend (the girl who created the drama) technically doesn't use her real name either #shes written as something else but people call her like a different version of her name #like the last 2 letters are not used and she also writes it with ι instead of η and she doesn't like her 'actual' name at all #either cause it sounds ancient or boyish (at least i thought it was a boy's name when i first met her. but i guess i just didn't know #ancient grammar cause i heard a teacher saying η (ονομα) της (ονομα) and it sounded pretty girly)#what if we started calling her 'her actual name' now #sugarenia thoughts #sugarenia talks #sugarenia has friends #sugarenia vent #sugarenia rants

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sugaroto · 10 months

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*venting*

How much of an idiot can someone be to mock someone's death and grief like that

He's always been stupid. We all know it by now. He always mocked me. Made me cry and laughed about it. I grew up now and he's mocking my cousin. He's full of bullshit

You're nearly 50 and you want to make fun of a kid that lost his dad? Oh how funny you are

"What difference would it make if he was here?"

Are you fucking stupid?

Idk. Maybe a 9 year old wouldn't have to be told that- FUck

Great niw I'm crying

He was a good man. He cared for all of us. He's everywhere

He was the one who painted my room, who fixed my door, my chair, my closet, who gave me his old printers that helped me with school stuff

My last text to him was a photo of our washing machine bc he helped with that too somehow

He was the one that drove us to the beach every Sunday

And I know pretty much everyone helped with barbecues but I think he was doing most of the work

And he wasn't supposed to die. It happened fast and unfair and he was young. And he had a son

He was excited to see his son reaching the "big 10" next year

...

His absence ruined the whole family

"It should have been me" was what my grandfather said and even if I wasn't there to hear him saying it it still hurts

"Where's dad?" He thought his parents came home unexpected to surprise him when he saw his mom. I'm sorry I didn't tell you when I learned it. I couldn't. For a while I thought you hated me for lying. But I love you and the only way I can help you through this is by keeping you company

My youngest aunt was lucky enough to have 2 kids to take care off that kept her occupied

But my mom spent most of the time with my oldest aunt. Grieving. And keeping her company

They were both taking antidepressants at some point

I'm not sure if my aunt is still taking them

But whenever she stopped and her period was close she would snap and hate all of us. We know she didn't mean it, but I hope he didn't heard his mom when she said all that she said

Tho I'm sure he did. Whenever he suspects something is wrong or he sees his mom ready to cry he pays attention

...

Well this was originally supposed to be about how stupid my uncle can be that mocks my dead uncle and my cousin but this turned to a whole other thing...

Well, in school at some point they told us writing letters with our feelings to people and never send them could help. Consider this my letter

My uncle died on August 2021, it's not... a new thing. Though it'd be a lie to say we're ok now

My cousin finally went to therapy about it just the other week. I don't know if he really wanted to tho, he was against it at first. Saying the therapist was a "Μαλακας, γύφτος, Πακιστανός, άχρηστος, φτωχός και θα του πω να μου δώσει όλα τα λεφτά του για να πάρω xbox" He usually doesn't swear. And idk why he's been so obsessed lately with the whole Πακιστανός και γύφτος thing. He's a good kid I swear, I know this sounded awful but he's not usually like that

My other uncle has been an asshole about it from the start tho "Ε και που τον είχες τι έκανε? Όλη μέρα κοιμόταν" (and what about him being here? He didn't do much, just slept all day) are you fucking stupid? "Γιατί τι διαφορά θα είχε αφού ο γιος σου παίζει όλη μέρα στο xbox"(what would be the difference your son is playing xbox the whole day) ???? are you fucking stupid

A whole human died and thats your reaction to it?

#shit #ok im tired #im not even sure if this whole thing even makes sense bc i felt like i jumped from one thing to the other #whatever #i know what i meant #απλα του αρέσει να προκαλεί. να κανει παιδια να κλαίνε και να γελάει #απορώ τι του βρηκε η θεία μ ωρες ωρες #όποτε δημιουργεί ενα θεμα και το συζηταει η μαμα μ με την θεια μ στεναχωριουνται για την αλλη μ θεια π καταλήγει #στο ενδιάμεσο. γτ ειναι καλή και μας νοιάζεται ολους και προσπαθεί. και εχει περασει και εκείνη πολλα #και εχει εναν μαλακα για αντρα... τέλος παντων #ολο μου το σοι εχει περάσει πολλα. πρωτα η μανα μ με μενα και τον αλλο τον μαλακα #μετα η θεια μ που αρρώστησε #και τωρα αυτο #vent #vent tw #sugarenia vent #sugarenia thoughts #sugarenia talks #sugarenia has family

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sugaroto · 1 year

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I dont think I've ever been triggered by something my whole life but I think I was almost triggered yesterday-

Like, not really- but my friends were discussing these rhetorical questions but they used that specific word and my mind was trying to go back to that thing that happened in my childhood while I was trying to focus on the conversation at the time

I guess it's because I was thinking about it the other day?

Also they didn't even use the same words, they worded it differently but the result would be the same and we were kinda turning it into how it would play out in real life and I guess my mind stuck for a second

#sugarenia thoughts #sugarenia talks #sugarenia vent

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sugaroto · 1 year

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Fantasou na ksupnas kapoion gia na ton rwthseis an koimatai help 8a arxisw na tsirizw

#10 wres meta egw nai alla wtf #dld fantasou na fwnazeis kapoion 35fores zaxarenia zaxarenia na sou apantaei nai kai na eisai se fash koimase?#nai tou kalou kairou #sou apantaw mesw Bluetooth #egw twra oneireuomai #exw mpei autopilot na sou pw oti koimamai #entwmetaksy #apo ti stigmh p exw ksupnisei #k esy me rwtas an koimamai #vazeis to myalo m na skeftei #kai na kanei autes tis ma8imatikes prakseis #gia na katalavw an prp na apantisw me nai h oxi #kai pragmatika den kserw #entwmetaksy auto egine to prwi egw twra 8a valw ta klamata gia auto gt nevriasa #akouse ekei na me ksypnas prin to gamhmeno ksypnitiri gia na me rwthseis an koimamai dhladh ti allo skata 8es na kanw 8hwra to prwi gamw to #spiti mou #sugarenia vent #sugarenia talks #sugarenia covid journey

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sugaroto · 2 years

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I was trying to sleep but I just realized something that will keep me awake at night now

I've always been in trios of friends with 1 vs 2same letters

Like, when I was a kid, it used to be X+Z+X= bff (tbh I didn't even like X but she was always there anyways...)

And now, I'm friends with Z+M+Z (though we don't do = bff now)

And, also I was with some friends just now, M+Z+M

Am I haunted

What does this mean

But like- ok I had other friends along the way like S+Z+M, or V+Z+Z... wait no, not this one

Woow ok

,I'm like trying to think about friendships that were considered trios at any time

I think those are all I got

Only one wasn't 2v1

But their last names were both the same letter....

Ffs wtf

#ok im done #wtf thoughts at 3am #and now i cant sleep #im Z in case that wasnt clear #online i call myself Sugar here but my name in greek starts with Z #also X as in greek Χ chi #not eks in English #2v1 #sugarenia #sugaroto #sugarenia has friends #sugarenia story time #sugarenia cant sleep again #sugarenia talks #sugarenia thoughts #sugarenia life #sugarenia vent #3am

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sugaroto · 6 months

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Ps: I think I started venting. Moral of the story don't apologize when someone tells you their parents are divorced

Ps2: I think I was oversharing so I put a [deleted] to everything that I think was too much (could I just edit the text and make it make sense? Yes. But no, I'm leaving it like that)

I was walking to the λέσχη with 2 girls and we were having a conversation and one said "You haven't lived my father" and I said "I haven't lived any father" lol

And the other girl said something (in response to what we were talking about, but then the first girl went back to what I said, and asked me why I said that

And I was like, My mom raised me, my parents are divorced

And she said "I'm sorry" she apologized

Why the fuck do people fucking apologize when I tell them my parents are divorced?

Don't fucking apologize WHY are you apologizing

And I was like "don't apologize, if they had stayed married my mom would have been under the ground and he behind the bars" because I felt awkward and I need people to understand that divorce is sometimes if not always the best case scenario

"Oh I'm sorry" why "about the situation"

... you don't know the situation. You can't even guess the fucking situation, [deleted]

[deleted]

I told you the worst case scenario that I assume would have happened if they stayed married.

My mom was smart enough to get a divorce even though her parents might have told her not to at first, because what will the people say if the priest's daughter is a ζωντοχήρα(/χωρισμένη aka divorced) (why the fuck is that even a word be for real)

I dont even know if I was 1 year old when they broke up or whether they separated before I aged

I do not remember a "happy 3 member family"

Father mother child

No

[deleted]

I do not have memories of my father abusing my mother, she has

I have memories of him brainwashing me

[deleted]

He hated my mother. Probably still does

[deleted]

It's almost 3 am I don't even know if im making any sense at this point [ps 3, I've deleted my whole essay so idk at this point]

I grew up with a family of like 14 people. I do not miss the "father figure" my childhood is not bad cause they had a fucking divorce. It was saved

#sugarenia talks #sugarenia has family #sugar uni life #vent #diary

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sugaroto · 1 year

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I went to the Christmas fair with my friend today and the 2 seconds she turned her back to buy something my "father" came up to me

So yeah I met this guy today 👍😀🙃

My little half-sister was there (I'm just realizing this is the 1st time I saw her) and he turned to the child and was like "this is your sister" (in English, cause he's an English teacher so I doubt they like, talk Greek in the house or whatever) and the child just looked like at the floor, cause she doesn't know who the fuck I am and I was like "hi" (γειά σου) but obviously I'm not the sister she knows so why would she care yknow (she's like 5? Or something, maybe less)

#in case it hasn't been clear by vents so far im kinda fatherless but i live in a small place so sometimes i may run into him #last time i saw him was in 2020 before the first quarantine #and before that i think i hadn't saw him in like 13 years #and i also have 2 younger half sisters #and i just met the one today 🤷‍♀️😅#also its a huge story why i don't want to see him #so to 2-parented people pls dont apologize when we tell you our parents are divorced its fucking weird #'oh yeah my parents are divorced' 'omg🥺🥺im so sowwy i didn't know🥺🥺' bitch what the fuck why are you apologizing #its for the best #sugarenia talks #sugarenia has friends #sugarenia has family #sugarenia diary #sugarenia #sugaroto

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