#suckless
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The suckless philosophy has some wisdom worth being inspired by, but only if you keep asking yourself if you are actually sucking less, or just starting to suck by doing less.
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Hard to feel like a wife
I had a really strong burst of negative feelings toward my husband the other day. I almost came on right away to type about it, but that kind of venting would have been counterproductive. Sometimes you need to take a step back and breathe, even before anonymous journal venting.
If you've read my previous entries, you'll see that my husband and I have a great relationship. We have a strong foundation of friendship, otherwise, we wouldn't have made it through the first two years of his illness. Because he and I have a good relationship, I didn't want to come on here to vent it out because then that puts negative connotations on our relationship. Regardless of whether he knows about what I am saying (he doesn't know about this blog, so he'd never know), the fact that I would say such things about him behind his back would say much more about me than it ever could about him.
That all being said...it's really hard to feel like a wife sometimes. I'm sure husbands of chronically ill spouses get that feeling too. My husband had a couple weeks in a row of really good health, I believe I mentioned that in a previous entry, but he relapsed when we overdid it on a trip we risked taking and he's been on this flare-up ever since. It's frustrating for him, so it makes him extremely cranky. That's not what got to me the other day though.
The other day, I was out and about running errands, I hadn't been gone long (I try not to leave him alone too long, especially when he's not doing well), but it had been maybe an hour and a half or so. I was already annoyed because one of the dogs had peed on the floor and he didn't clean it up, he left it for me to get. There was also a bug trapped under a cup in the kitchen (my husband doesn't do bugs) and I needed to go out and run errands. Most of the time it doesn't bother me, but the other day it got under my skin. See, he doesn't help with any of those things even when he is well. Since this was a light flare-up (some nausea and fatigue), I had asked him to help me out with little stuff he could handle. He hadn't. When I ask him to help me do something I get responses like, "I'm doing the best I can" or "I just really haven't been doing well". Don't get me wrong. He's NOT faking it...he REALLY isn't well. However, emotions don't function on reason.
So, anyway, already irritated because as soon as I got up I had to clean up pee off the floor, get rid of the bug, run my errands, and when I got back...he said he wasn't feeling well and needed water.
Yup...that's what made me lose my mind. Water.
He said, "I'm not doing well...I need water." I said, "That would probably help, you should get water." Then I realized...he was expecting me to get him the water. I shamed him a bit as I got him water and added in the powdered electrolytes. He gave me the "I'm doing the best I can" line and I just fumed. He hadn't done anything that day. He hasn't showered in over a week, he's not helping with the dogs, he won't kill a bug, he has been leaving garbage everywhere, and there are a lot of other things going on right now too. I just allowed myself to be mad. I was mad and, for a very brief time, I hated him.
People may think I am awful saying that, but relationships are hard. Marriage is hard. Dealing with an illness is hard. Dealing with a spouse with an illness is hard. Having to deal with all this, the financial and emotional strain it comes with on top of normal life stuff is really freaking difficult. Part of why I keep this blog is to help me and, if someone in my situation sees this and it helps them feel okay about hating their spouse sometimes, then I'm really glad I am doing this.
We're all only human and we're doing the best we can. Some days are harder than others. Some people go through their lives with very little turbulence while others aren't so lucky. Some have it worse than me, sure, but it doesn't make the situation suck less.
It's okay to be pissed about the situation. I broke down again the other day because I know I can't have kids. My future is stagnated. All I can do is hope that things get easier. Hope that he gets a little better and can start working again at least part-time. Hope that I can get a promotion in the next year or so to stabilize our finances. Hope that we can continue to tread water until things just start to suck less. I don't hope for happiness anymore. That sounds dramatic but at this point...I'd be happy to be content. To stop having days I hate my husband because he asked me for a glass of water.
Hopefully tomorrow is easier.
#journalventing#caregiver#wifeofadiabetic#type1#gastroparesis#chronicfatiguesyndrome#rebellionsarebuiltonhope#HopeForBetterTomorrow#SuckLess
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Tiling Window Managers: powering goon caves around the world
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hello gamers. im trying to think of more overwhelming and cool effects i can add to this but i;CAN t 💔💔 its ok uzi is full of swagger and awesomeness on her own :) i did another redraw but it turned out Less than satisfactory! so i'm gonna do a different one hopefully it will suckLESS!!!
#blood tw#mel art#murder drones#bright colors cw#? maybe#uzi doorman#i donttt. i dont think cyn would count in this. help
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Suckless tabbed is so fucking broken oh my god
ik im on Wayland but still
but i seriously need tab groups like 22 is too many tabs
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My apologies sire, but ye would appear to be both suckless and fuckless
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what's good about alacritty? i admittedly know jack shit about why one would choose a different terminal emulator and mostly used the default one, then used kitty for a while for no particular reason except that i liked the name, i knew people who used it and i knew the guy created calibre, which is a software i often used at the time so i used it, although i have since heard he is an asshole or something? do some of them have default keybindings that make things easier to use or something? or do people use diff emulators to reduce bloat or something adjacent to that?
terminal emulator preference is mostly about features, your DE/WM, and how you prefer to customise stuff.
i really liked kitty and originally picked it partly for the name and modern features:
GPU acceleration
multiple terminals on a single 'instance' - reducing memory overhead
glyph/emoji/ligature support
it's also highly configurable and the configuration options are well-documented.
however, i ran into a ton of small issues:
kitty w/ TERM=xterm-kitty ironically causes more issues processing certain key combos and escape codes than setting it to xterm-256color (not officially supported in kitty)
the dev is aware of TERM=xterm-kitty issues but won't fix them
alacritty uses TERM=alacritty and works fine
kitty bugs out when running neovim inside a dtach session via my resnvim.py wrapper script; alacritty and xterm have no such issues
kitty also bugs out when sending neovim files/commands via --remote and --remote-send while alacritty and xterm are fine
the dev considers multiplexers like tmux a "horrible hack" and is uninterested in supporting them inside kitty
he's also uninterested in adding tmux-style sessions (despite kitty having the other main feature of tmux: splits and tabs)
he's not as hostile as the hyprland devs, but kitty is feature-rich, why get mad when people ask for features they use daily in other terminals ?
alacritty, by contrast, has none of these issues. it supports the features i mentioned earlier, is highly configurable, has a native vi mode, supports custom actions for different URL/URI types (again user-configurable and supports regex), and leaves things like tabs and splits up to either a multiplexer like tmux or your window manager. so far, the community and devs don't seem to be hostile (despite it being "suckless"-type software and the suckless community being known for hostility too).
#theexclusionprinciple#DATA_REQUESTS#alacritty term#kitty term#i hope this answers your question - this post was like 2x the length and i had to super-condense it lmao
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Ok, I am going to say it: making an episode of rick & morty saying it's going to suck doesn't mean because you admit it it became good.
I can't remember every rick and morty episode in full detail. If you can, get a life. But I do remember my most hated, by far.
It was the meta train episode.
And they fucking brought back the fucking antagonist.
AND they basically created/killed characters based on writing (twist, previously on, retcon*, etc).
It was lazy. Even if they pointed out it was lazy, it was fucking lazy.
The only funny part of this episode, which I entirely relate too, and is one of their last jokes: A writer writing a story about a writer (I have an entire SCREEN PLAY written to that).
Besides that, this is probably one of the top 5 worst rick & morty episodes. Pointing out how to suck doesn't make you suckless. I said it on she-hulk: you break the 4th wall enough, there's no stakes, no consequences, no fun.
I mean the after credits scene was clearly the voice of the show (justin) improvising, again, but it's fucking terrible. The animations, tho pointless, are more interesting than what he was saying (hashtag. Over and over. Being meta can get stupid too).
I swear, I said it once, I will say it again: when it comes to ANY business or art, once it gets high enough, it never gets smart enough to hire someone to keep it in check. fucking ego.
I promise, this show will not get better. NEUTRAL. PLATEAU? Sure. But never get better.
FUCK. They even made a joke on how everyone says go back to season 1 adventures, so they KNOW it's true.
*the only good part of this episode, IF they use it, was retcon. They could make an amazing mental/doctor who level fight with retcon if they bring him back. 4th wall and meta? Sure. But the concept is...kinda genius, unlike everything else in this piece of shit episode. LAZY! How many writers do you have? And if you say just the 2, no wonder the show went to shit.
#rick and morty#rickandmorty#rick & morty#rick&morty#writing#4th wall#meta#beta#theta#fuck you hash tags#hashtag
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Wiby.me: curated search engine for content-first suckless sites
https://wiby.me/
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cohost looks interesting, but unfortunately the team that heads it up, antisoftware software club, is essentially the faggot tumblr loser version of suckless which means I don't think I'd vibe there. I can tolerate all of them being furries but being heckin' chronically-online types is a show-stopper for me. Unless it's just an optics thing idk.
I will admit it's groovy their tumblr-clone was formed as a nonprofit. But then again that could just be a tax workaround or some other corpo style grift. And don't get me wrong, they have a lot of good software industry takes I generally agree with.
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Handcurated resources
Just some suggestions for developement ideas tbh.
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so, i did a thing
http://bsd-hardware.info/?probe=45836fafc3
this termcast was taken before i got emacs up, but i even managed to clone, build, export, and even host my neocity *locally*
all on the java 17 jvm backend with single-channel 1gb lpddr2 ram, and a 1.5GHz non-PAE single core pentium mobile cpu
termcast
now- thats 1337.
i forked some random guys suckless surf browser patch for the sole purpose of debugging/developing on this pentiumtatotop, so i don’t even need to rely on links anymore
look at these wonderful screenshots:
doom emacs, running a cider repl on the jvm, and viewing said website hosted via a single-thread ring server on suckless surf.
get this: its still surprisingly responsive considering the erm *hardware*.
since stumpwm isn’t in the i386 ports, i had to compile it from source.
the sbcl implementation on i386 openbsd assumes that you won’t use threading, but stumpwm wants threading to be available.
easy fix: slightly patch stumpwm to get it to build & run on a sbcl implementation without threading, but it was as easy as clobbering the macro for sbthread in a new lisp file, and loading that file into core.lisp:
(cl:in-package :sb-thread) (defun make-thread (function &key &allow-other-keys) (funcall function) (values))
mfw i literally started learning lisp 4 months ago, and i still manage to get into seek out insane endeavors like this.:
#autism#openbsd#autistic#programming#thinkpad#common lisp#clojure#emacs#old tech#laptop#unixporn#druaga1
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