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laundrybiscuits · 8 months

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(soulmates AU: Part 1 | Part 2)

“You know,” says Jonathan. “Nancy’s parents are soulmates.”

Steve hadn’t known that, but he knows it’s supposed to run in families. Even though it’s also pretty normal for soulmarks to crop up for no reason anyone can tell, his own had been a big surprise, because everyone knows that John and Linda Harrington aren’t soulmates.

The night after his soulmark had appeared, he’d woken up around midnight. He couldn’t figure out what had woken him up for a while, but as he lay there in the dark, he could hear his dad’s voice coming up through the floors. His mom and dad must have been in the study, right below Steve’s bedroom, and his dad must’ve been pretty worked up by that point to be that loud.

For god’s sake, John, Steve’s mom had hissed, quieter but still clear enough in the dead suburban night. He’s the spitting image of you. I don’t know what kind of proof you—

John and Linda Harrington aren’t soulmates. They can’t ever really relax around each other, because there’s no guarantee that something better won’t come along for either of them, and they both know it.

Steve had tilted his own wrist so he could see the pretty, confident hand of a girl he’d never met, and felt so glad that he’d never have to worry like that.

“Must be nice,” is all he says to Jonathan, now.

“Sure, maybe,” says Jonathan. “Don’t know if she sees it that way.”

He asks Robin about her parents later. He’s only met Mr. and Mrs. Buckley a couple times, but they seem to get along okay.

Robin makes a face. “God, they’re so weird about it. They never got any real names—like, names never appeared by themselves, but they decided to get tattoos when they got married. The artist had them sign like five million disclaimer forms and still did it in red ink so nobody would get it confused for the real thing, but they don’t even care. It’s embarrassing.”

“Yeah,” Steve says.

He thinks about it later, though, and decides it doesn’t seem all that embarrassing to him. It’s not as good as a real name, of course, but maybe it’s the next best thing. At least it’s some kind of permanent mark, so even if things go south, you’ll always have part of that person as part of you too. The kind of thing that can’t be erased, just covered over.

———

Steve doesn’t ask about the blob on Eddie’s wrist. Not asking basically becomes a hobby for him. Steve drops by after going to see Max two or three times a week, and he doesn’t ask. Steve helps Wayne load Eddie into the car to the brand new Nancy-approved duplex, and he doesn’t ask. Steve stops by with a casserole from the Hendersons, and he stays to help eat it, and he doesn’t ask.

Finally, Eddie chucks a potato chip at the side of Steve’s face and groans, “Just fucking ask, dude.”

Steve eats the potato chip, even though it’s sour cream and onion, and says unconvincingly: “Ask what?”

Eddie tips his head back over the arm of the couch and levels an unimpressed stare at Steve.

“Okay, fine,” Steve relents. “Tell me about your stupid name, I guess. Do I know her?”

Eddie shrugs. “Don’t know. Doesn’t matter. I knew pretty early on that I didn’t want anything to do with that shit, so I covered it up the day I got it. If I could’ve stopped myself from seeing anything at all, I would’ve.”

“Wait, you covered it up? Like, did the tattoo yourself?”

“Sure. I mean, I had to fix it up later, it was my first stick-and-poke and it was pretty rough. For a while, you could still kinda make out most of the letters. Hurt like a bitch, though.”

“Jesus.” Steve leans back on his elbows, sprawling out over the rug. “I don’t get you at all, man.”

Eddie hums a little, drums his fingertips over his own jaw.

“What do you want?” he says abruptly. “Like, in life. Generally. What is it that Steve Harrington actually wants from the future?”

Steve puts another gross sour cream potato chip on his tongue and crunches down.

“Shit, I dunno. What does anyone want? A house, a family. The usual stuff.”

Eddie taps his nose with one bony index finger and jabs the other at Steve. “Bullseye, right there. The difference between you and me.”

“What, you don’t want any of that? Too normal for you?” Steve snorts.

Eddie groans and rolls sideways off the couch, landing on the rug next to Steve. He props himself up on his elbows. “It’s not about the actual stuff, Harrington. House and family doesn’t…” He hesitates, ducking his head so his hair tumbles over his face a little. “It doesn’t actually sound so bad to me, y’know? But I’d throw myself off a fucking cliff before I answered a question like that with what does anyone want.”

“Okay, if you’re so super-evolved or whatever, what does Eddie Munson want?”

Eddie grins up at Steve. It’s a little lopsided because of the shiny pink scar on his cheek. It’ll probably be lopsided for the rest of his life. Even back when they’d been making plans to buy guns and steal an RV, Steve remembers Eddie’s smile looking just plain happy, like a kid. Now it’ll always look like he’s got a secret he isn’t telling you.

“So, so many things,” says Eddie. “Most of all, though, Eddie Munson wants the freedom to make his own mistakes.”

Steve still doesn’t get it, but he’s starting to think there’s a lot of things he doesn’t really get about how other people see soulmarks. Most people seem to think just like Steve does, of course; there wouldn’t be so many songs and movies and stuff about it otherwise.

Talking to Eddie like this, though, is starting to make Steve feel like he's staring out into the dark, knowing there's something else beyond the porchlights but not even being able to see the shape of it.

He leans back, closing his eyes. Some guitar is wailing away from the boombox under the kind of vocals that always set Steve on edge; they’re too yelping and strained, like you can hear the singer’s vocal cords getting wrecked in real time as he yowls: man you’re dying—for what you’ve lost but never had—

It’s annoying, that’s all.

#not!soulmates AU #I actually quite like sour cream and onion ftr #idk why I've been writing almost nothing for months and then this unmarketable ridiculousness has just poured out of me #but here we are!#lyrics from Accept's Losing More Than You've Ever Had that I rejected for being too obvious include:#it's been a long time since you've lost her heart #man stop longing for the girl you made so sad

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whinlatter · 3 months

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What about the dynamic between Ron and Ginny? I don’t see too many people talk about them other than the one time he tried to sl*t shame her.

this is a lovely one, thank you so much anon. the two baby weasleys. two beloved bruisers who will squabble til the cows come home but who would absolutely take bullets for each other in a heart beat... it's the loves of my life, ron and ginny weasley.

the dynamic between ron and ginny is, as you say, deeply misunderstood, deeply underrated and, ultimately, deeply loving. the ron haters will say ron's a misogynistic slut shamer towards his sister: the ginny haters (these are, i fear, much more numerous...) will say that ginny is a nasty bully towards her big brother, the family/molly's favourite who basks in greater limelight and parental love than poor tormented ronnie. i think that says more about fandom's inability to a) remember we are talking about children/teenagers, b) remember that tripping your brother to humble him when he's being openly horny about his future in sister in law is praxis, and c) grasp that conflict between characters does not preclude the presence of real love, care and mutual respect in their relationship. ron and ginny's dynamic is interesting because it brings out each characters' insecurities and flaws (for ron, his anxieties about his reputation among his own peers and his position within his own family, his worry about his family's wider reputation and wellbeing, his particular overbearing concern about ginny's safety post CoS; for ginny, her resentment of being overprotected, her inability to stomach hypocrisy and tendency to fly off the handle when confronted with it, her righteous temper in general...) but i think if the characters were, er, real, and you were able to show them the fandom takes/discourse around their relationship they'd be like, er, what? obviously we love each other to death. we're very very close. we're mates who enjoy each other's company and increasingly hang out a ton and treasure each other as dearly beloved family, what are you on about? like, yes, of course they bicker. of course they fight. but those two, in their core, are good. i think as adults they'd be closer still.

(there's been a horrid fanon tendency in the last few years to make a lot of hay out of the idea that molly desperately wanted a daughter and mistreated ron, her sixth son, as a result. this is an allegation that seems to have its sole canon basis in what the horcrux screams at ron ('least loved, always, by the mother who craved a daughter'). looking past the fact that the horcrux is, er, expressing ron's fears not reality (in its next breath claims hermione is .... in love with harry lads! tiktok fandom discourse do not like to remember this!), i think it's very important that even if this is ron's fear - that his mum loves him less than his siblings and only had him because she was trying to have a girl - it doesn't actually ever inform any resentment or jealousy towards ginny by ron. ron and ginny fight, of course, they do, but ron never makes this apparent anxiety ginny's problem. ginny could be someone ron bitterly resents, someone his mother and, by 1997, his best friend prefers. but he doesn't ever do that. ron just really loves his sister and wants her to be safe, and yeah, sometimes that pisses her off, but it doesn't come from a place of envy or resentment, which, given ron has oodles of that in other relationships, is saying something.)

my favourite ron and ginny moments:

in CoS when ron's desperate to see ginny get sorted and then gutted that he missed it :(

in CoS when ron teases ginny sweetly about her crush on harry but as soon as malfoy does it is ready to commit bodily harm

in PoA when ginny's suffering with the dementors and she goes looking for ron (even though the last thing he told her was to go away, lmao. just sibling things. fuck off and die! but also i would give you both my kidneys)

in GoF where ginny really is trying not to laugh at ron for asking out fleur when that is plainly fucking funny

in OotP when ron gets one singular look at michael corner and decides he is NOT good enough for his sister and also probably a traitor

in HBP when ron and ginny are at war with each other but ginny names her pygmy puff after him and as soon as ron is poisoned ginny is the first person on the scene (with hermione) and does up poirot with harry trying to solve the mystery of her beloved brother's assassination attempt. he will be avenged!

in DH when the catalyst for the ron/harry fight escalating and ron leaving is the moment ron accuses harry of not caring enough about ginny........ king shit sorry!

bonus in DH when ron's like yeah ofc i didn't go home are you mad. fred and george would have been fuming. and ginny, my moral weather vane, would have run me through with the rustiest of pikes

thank you for humouring me with this ask game anon!

#ron and ginny: lomls #calling your brother a prat is a god given right and also a love language #the pygmy puff joke is hall of fame funny stop being sour about it on tiktok fandom #ron weasley #ginny weasley #ask game #meta

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aroacehanzawa · 7 months

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i'm going to be real with you guys for a moment. i don't think i'll continue following bsd much after this point

#i take back what i said about being excited for what's to come. i mean i am. in a very general impersonal way.#but the way the series is going. if the ending of the anime is going to be followed by the manga in a similar direction #is just very different from the silly armed detective agency vs port mafia authors with superpowers slightly high-stakes slice of life #that i originally signed up for. i've felt this way the whole decay of angels arc and just stuck around to see what happens #and because i care about the characters. bsd was always a character-focused manga for me #but the direction it seems to be taking is this massive epic entire-world-at-stake military scifi drama #where super epic power-up style ability weapons (and one-off overpowered nameless ability users are introduced and killed off in the same #scene. like the time manipulation catgirl) take the forefront at the expense of actual character focus and character development #like why are most of the (original) cast completely unaccounted for in what was meant to be a satisfying ending.#did asagiri forget that atsushi is the main character. why did tachihara's and sigma's arcs get cut short like that.#and frankly i feel like bsd started to take this direction from storm bringer onwards. the focus and scope of it is very different #to for example the untold origins or dazai's entrance exam or even 55 minutes. but if i were to theorise i would say that the scope of #the current direction of bsd must have started germinating during the 55 minutes light novel. if you can see what i mean #anyway more importantly i find that the tone is now entirely different from early bsd. it's just not the series that i fell in love with #so i think it's best that i stop here before letting it turn sour like jujutsu kaisen is to me now.#i have the manga (and anime) that i can reread (rewatch) up to the perfect crime arc whenever i want #i can reread the sskk fight of volume 20 whenever i want. i can revisit sigma and nikolai's chapters. there's wan. there's the light novels #and there's the wonderful fanfics and fanart and so many metas to read. that's what brings me joy more than the series itself nowadays.#that's all. end of era i guess. to an extent

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softquietsteadylove · 7 days

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Okay I’m glad we can cry about the vow au together, because if Thena’s going to keep remembering things when her sweet and precious Gil makes her a treat I might just never stop asking for it 😭 would love to read more, whatever you think comes next i’m happy to read!!!

"Sweetie?"

Thena looked up from her pillow. She looked particularly miserable, which made sense; she had never done well when sick. "Hm?"

Gil stepped into the guest room with his tray in hand. He nudged the door closed before setting it down on the dresser, "how are you feeling, hon?"

Thena blinked her glassy green eyes at him, "I'm sorry to make you take care of me like this."

Gil just shook his head. She had no memory of him nursing her back to health when a flu took her down hard after their first trip together. Her first cold with him as a couple when she kept insisting he couldn't see her with her runny nose and blotchy fever skin. Even when she had some bad periods that could make her growly.

She thought of herself as a real lioness, but he couldn't help but think of a plush, ragdoll cat who kept hissing at him.

He leaned forward, kissing her clammy forehead. "I think your fever's broken, at least. Did you get a little rest?"

Thena just nodded, pulling up her knees under the covers so he could sit on the edge of the bed. "Did you apologise to Ajak for me?"

"Hey, come on, people get sick, it happens," he chuckled as he patted her knees. "I have some time off to use, and she understands. They can do without me for a few days."

"I don't know how true that is," she muttered as he retrieved the tray. She straightened her legs again so he could stand it up over her lap. "Your customers will be missing out on your perfect croissants."

He grinned, offering her the mug of tea first. "And my seasalt vanilla fours?"

Thena's smile turned soft and a little shy. He was elated, though--ever since their first date and their kiss, he had been excited to see how they would continue to progress their relationship.

"Here," he whispered, adjusting the platter he had brought with him. "I made you some homemade chicken soup, nothing too heavy. I boiled the chicken in the broth, like Hainanese chicken rice. I gave you a little side of rice if you wanna dip it in the broth, but don't force yourself. Some cucumbers, but they're not pickled because I don't think it's good for you if you're sick--I guess I don't really know."

Thena tilted her head at him, her hair rustling against one of the many pillows propping her up. She kept insisting she looked awful, but he thought she looked as beautiful as always. "Thank you."

He sighed a little, trying not to make it obvious that he was mourning a time when this would be natural for them. But he adjusted the little cilantro flower he included on her napkin, "in sickness and in health, right?"

Thena's expression changed, but she gave him one of those gorgeous smiles that used all her teeth and picked up her spoon, "I suppose you're right."

Gil looked around the room, standing to pick up the extra blanket she had picked off in her sleep, as well as some pajama changes. It was hard to tell how messy she could be at times based on the polished appearance of his wife, but he liked picking up after her (most of the time).

"Gil?"

He looked back at her as he folded up the blanket. She had her big sad kitten eyes on again. "What's up?"

"You're not going to sit with me?"

His face split into a grin, even if she seemed a little sheepish about it. He knew it wasn't something she would ask easily, and obviously she had kind of just let it slip. But he all but dropped the blanket and threw himself onto the bed again. "Of course I am."

Thena settled against the pillows again after he gave her knee a squeeze on his way to lying on his side to face her. "Did you eat?"

"I grazed while I was cooking," he excused easily. He'd had some rice and a few pieces of chicken, mostly concerned with getting the flavours right for Thena's weakened state.

Thena eyed him, nudging the dish of rice he had specifically described as optional, "I won't eat it all anyway."

That was true, she tended to eat less in terms of the starch of any dish. Gil chuckled, "okay."

Placated by him picking up the rice and using the chopsticks, she continued using the spoon to sip the broth. She was delicate about it. It reminded him of the first time they'd gotten ramen together--she'd held her hair back while taking delicate little bites the whole time. He'd found it unbearably cute while he'd guzzled his back in minutes. Of course he ordered another bowl so she wouldn't have to eat alone.

Thena's eyes watered a little, but he squinted. Was it just the general sickness, was it her fever coming back, was there too much ginger? She sniffled, putting the spoon down. "I know this taste."

Ah, his sweet wife. He put the rice down gently before reaching for her hand. "I make it for you every time you're sick. You know how to make it too."

"I do?" she asked, staring at him as if he'd suggested she knew rocket science. "Me?"

"Yes, you," he reached out to tap her nose, but she leaned away from him. "All you do is add the aromatics to the pot with the whole chicken, even you can do it."

"Hm," she remarked quietly, staring at the meal she couldn't believe she would be capable of replicating.

"I made it for you the first time you were sick when we were dating," he continued, picking up some cucumber for himself. "I surprised you with it, showed up at your doorstep--very romantic, y'know."

She gave him a look, definitely knowing that she - in the story - hadn't appreciated being ambushed.

"You told me I shouldn't have and that you looked awful, but I couldn't have been more in love with you," he sighed, fluttering his lashes at her. She rolled her eyes, but he could see her smiling just a tiny little bit. "I delivered this dish and we hung out a little. You told me I would get sick, I said I wouldn't, and you were totally right, I got sick the next day."

She tilted her head the other way and raised her eyebrows at him, unimpressed to say the least.

He shrugged though, still grinning. "But I didn't want to admit it, so I told you I was healthy as a horse and couldn't make our date that week because of a work emergency."

"Deceitful," she murmured, pursing her lips at it.

"Come on, just a harmless little lie, y'know," he pursed his lips right back at her, even hitting her with his own sad puppy eyes.

She looked back into the bowl and took a loud sip. He would take that as him being forgiven. "I remember you coming over."

"Really?" he sat up straighter.

She nodded, taking another, slower, quieter sip. "No one had ever done that for me before. I was so astounded. And the food was so good it made me want to cry."

"No crying," he whispered, keeping his eye on her now, watching for tears. Not that it wasn't a chef's dream to have people cry from their food, but this was different.

"Kari called me to ask how I was doing," she smiled more at the memory as it came to her. They were coming more often and at greater length. It was nothing if not encouraging. "I told her that this very sweet guy I was seeing brought me some homemade chicken rice. She practically slapped her phone in her hurry to tell me to 'lock it down'."

Gil made a face, stroking the hair on his chin, "she's wise."

Thena shook her head at him again, but he could tell she was falling for his charm all over again. "I suppose I followed her advice, didn't I?"

So much came to mind, but Gil leaned forward to kiss her forehead again, which continued to feel cooler to the touch, "I'm lucky you did."

Thena leaned into his affection. She had gotten more used to it as they continued to explore their relationship, and he really had the feeling that she was looking for more sometimes. He would save that for a time when she wasn't ill.

"You keep eating," he encouraged, moving the rice closer to her again in hopes of tempting her.

"But-"

"I'll get a bowl for myself and come right back," he promised, sealing it with a wink and everything. His wife gave him another look of feigned exasperation, but she was already waiting for his return, preciously clutching her rice to eat with him.

#Thenamesh Vow AU #yes I love writing sickfic #yes I am sick right now what's your point?#I'm so glad you're liking this au!!!!#please never stop asking for more of it #Gil excels at the in sickness and in health #obviously #but it's not just the big deals like brain seizures and hospital visits #it's also when she gets a common cold #Thena gets all grumpy and sour when she's sick #and Gil calls her his little umeboshi #he makes dishes that are gentle on the stomach but still nutritious #because the less time Thena spends being sick the better for both of them #Gil definitely thought it was really romantic of him that first time #meanwhile Thena is like fuck I look disgusting #meanwhile Kari is like dude this is like out of a romcom or something #Kari is out here like friends to lovers slowburn hurt/comfort 100k words #Thena: I don't know what that means

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fairestwriting · 1 month

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ok nvm that post im tired

#im sure its gotten old to see me complain lol but i figure its better if i said something if i promised to post stuff but didnt manage to #havent been very motivated to do much since the last spamming If im being honest #not to be a crybaby but that really sours it for me.#i dont like to complain as much as you dont like to read me complaining but i feel like over the time i stopped writing fanfic people #seemingly out of nowhere got really weird about fandom writers #maybe its just because my blog was gathering dust for a while. idk

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last-flight-of-fancy · 1 year

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hey, hey, quick internet fandom ettiquete lesson; X has two hands jokes only vibe if you are talking to someone who is ALSO already talking about how X has two hands. Okay? Okay. It is in fact very rude to go onto other people’s posts where only one set of hands is involved to evangalise about two hands. When seeing ship art/fic of only half your ot3, it is proper ettiquete to simply enjoy the art/fic as it is, and if so inspired create/commission/seek out the ot3 content of your choice. This has been your quick internet fandom lesson, thank you for your time.

#this is one of those things that has been cropping up a lot lately and it's. not cool. don't do this okay?#bc no one likes being evangelised at; for any reason #i know its probably just because you love your ot3 and i 100% feel that. i have many an ot3 i adore #but to the person who reads your comment on the thing they put hard work and love into it just reads as-#-'the product of your hard work and love is WRONG you should fix it to MY PERSONAL STANDARDS'#you are not better than the singular otp sides of things and its *certainly* not a solution to ship wars #the ot3 is going to have a different dynamic than either side of the individual otps and thats simply not going to vibe with everyone #and thats okay!#long story short: enjoy your ot3. love it! and let others enjoy their otps in peace. tell them you like their art if you want!#just dont go on to say what you think is missing that the creator clearly never intended #stop talking to yourself flight #ngl this is like. at least half the reason i've kinda been shuffling away from srk #kh3 convinced me sr was endgame but i could have happily kept on shipping an ot3 without canon. i dont need canons permission to ship #but wow has the constant bombardment in almost exclusively sr fanworks of 'omg two hands' has really soured the whole thing to me tbh #stand au srk is kind of the only srk to me now

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theamazingannie · 3 months

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One thing I really don’t like about the pjo show is they are very tell not show about EVERYTHING. One thing I loved from the books is them teasing who the monster or god they were meeting was and getting the chance to pull from prior Greek mythology knowledge and figure it out myself. It was like a game and, yeah, most of the time it was someone new and I couldn’t guess but it was still fun having a tease up until a reveal and THEN they would share the story for those who didn’t know. The show just keeps straight up telling the audience who everyone is and instead of unknowingly walking into a trap and building suspense they go in expecting something to happen and then have a less exciting trap happen later (Medusa and the Lotus Hotel being the main ones). It’s like they both want to cut the teasing because the book readers already know and want to explain things simply to show watchers who probably aren’t well versed in Greek mythology but it takes all the whimsy away. One part I loved in the Lotus scenes in the book was Percy figuring out that they were in a time warp because he meets the kid from the 1970s and realizes what’s going on but in the show he notices cuz it’s…dark outside? Like yeah okay it works but going “it’s dark outside even tho it feels like it’s been 20 minutes and that means we are in a time warp and oh yeah the flowers are in the air even tho I’ve given no reason prior to have figured that out” is not NEARLY as compelling as “I lost track of time cuz I was having fun but huh this guy I’m playing with talks weird and dresses weird and oh boy he’s from the 1970s and now that I’m pulled out enough to look around I see that everyone here is wearing period clothes and this is trouble”. I know the extras were wearing period clothes but it never cuts to them long enough to make it seem like it’s anything but a costume that would be typical in a Vegas casino. You can argue that the Hermes scene wasn’t pointless but aside from Grover’s scenes to an extent it just wasn’t compelling and not just in an inaccurate adaptation way

#I honestly have more to say about this but the post is already too long #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #I don’t want to be a hater but also I see far too many people say that everything about the show is perfect and it rubs me wrong #like yeah the movie was awful and people should stop trashing the show to raise up the movie #but the show also isn’t as good as the books #and I didn’t expect it to be but so many of these changes just don’t make sense #and others just sour the whole thing altogether #as a note I do plan to keep watching it and I do enjoy it for the most part #I will shout praises for Aryan and the percabeth scenes #but a lot of the plot stuff just isn’t great #and another thing that I want to say but don’t want to make another complain post for:#I’m tired of Percy being too well versed in mythology and Annabeth too smart and knowledgeable and never messing up #it contributes to the tell not show because they always seem to know what’s going to happen before it happens #they’re not as caught by surprise and they’re too competent #these may be powerful demigods but they’re also 12 year old children #Percy is new to all of this and Annabeth hasn’t been to the real world in five years #she shouldn’t be able to recognize monsters immediately because she’s used to the monsters she fights to be obvious #once they figure it out yeah she should know their story and how to fight them #but why does she know immediately?#and why does Percy when as protagonist he should be a stand in for the ignorant audience?#they should be explaining things to him not the other way around #idk again I’m a hater but I also don’t think I’m wrong here #it’s a children’s show but that doesn’t mean they have to speak plainly about everything #even does takes the time to let’s the kids figure shit out

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lume-nosity · 4 months

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sorry complete change of vibe but i think i need to take a little break i was just hit with devastating news and i definitely need time to process this

#📣 lumes announcements #☁️ lume speaks #i’m sorry for making this post rn if any of you are having a good day #or are in a good mood #i know i haven’t been as active with posts lately here but #i just want to be on break for a bit so i’m letting you all know in advance should i just stop posting/interacting all together #<- (on all accounts)#why did it have to happen again #and why now. the year just started #two people on the same day.#sorry my mood turned sour as soon as i heard of those said news #idk how i managed to take it in maturely but i really need to let out some steam #i really had to hear this before i go to sleep wth #ahghrf i don’t wnat to go through this cycle again #because i never cried in moments like these before as i was always the ‘strong one’ in the family #ughfbsbc but even so i want to cry since this is close to being the last straw #but at the same time i don’t want to bc i want to be the pillar for my family #nvm i almost threw up bc of everything that’d led up to this point #i haven’t been vulnerable like this for a long time but here we are #gonna have to reach out to family members to comfort and be with them for the time being #and i’ll be going to sleep. in tears i think #okay enough of that i’ll see you lovely people in a bit. just need some time for myself. thank you <3

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ssaalexblake · 6 months

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the life of a 13 era dw fan who doesn't like doing negative fandom things, as in, spending my time going on about what i dislike about it and would rather discuss positive or neural things about it, and how this genuinely Genuinely bothers some people lol

#dw shit #i'd bet a few of my followers could absolutely tick what i dislike despite me not mentioning it #bc i Don't mention it #and they've been around a while #but you've all Really got to stop acting like you can get a good grade in fandom #i don't have to discuss what i dislike abt the era or what i find problematic about it at all #i mean sometimes i do mention stuff if i feel like it #it's not a rule #but i'm not gonna spend a quota of time being negative just to appease the people that do not comprehend that you can just talk #about stuff you like and it not be an issue #fandom is not activism #sure there's shit that leaves a sour taste #but i'm not obligated to go into it if i don't want to #and people being demanding and bitchy on my posts acting like you're entitled to my time #is Sure not gonna convince me to do it #the funniest times are when people demand why i think something is acceptable when like. i don't. why do you think i don't talk abt it??#and if i Don't find something an issue and you do? well sorry but a neg opinion does not inherently trump a positive one #that is not what critical thinking means #critical thinking about something can lead to a positive conclusion #it's also funny that people act like i couldn't possibly find issue with something They think is fine about it #i do. actually.#shockingly enough i leave you all alone to do you #also some of you need to learn how to strike up a conversation with a total stranger bc hoo boy

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yeonban · 8 months

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HEIZOU'S BIRTHDAY GIFTS! (We're pretending I answered on time)

@destinywoven asked: It took a little detective work of his own to discover when Heizou’s birthday fell. Perhaps he would have told Cyno if he’d asked, but that would have ruined the fun. And the surprise.

By pulling more than his fair share of very difficult strings that involved weeks of negotiations, bartering and a little bit of intimidation, Cyno has managed to secure something special; a Matra-approved detective licence. Though he would have to liaise with the Matra (something Cyno would, naturally, see to personally), with this licence in hand, Heizou would be free to conduct and pursue cases in Sumeru whenever he saw fit. This, of course, included permanent access to accommodation whenever he visited the nation, all expenses covered by the General Mahamatra himself.

All that’s left is to deliver the somewhat ambitious gift.

Nervousness is not an emotion Cyno experiences frequently, but he feels the stirrings of it now as he stands stiffly at the edge of the dock overlooking the newly arrived ship from Inazuma, his gift hidden away in an envelope behind his back. For a brief moment, Cyno contemplates stuffing the envelope back into his satchel and pretending nothing had happened. What if it’s too much? Too presumptuous? Is he overstepping a line that should not be crossed? All those questions and more swirl inside his head, but are soon silenced as he spots Heizou jogging down the gangplank.

Just the sight of him is enough to quell the restless storm within him; he’ll follow through with his plan, no matter the consequences. His decision made, Cyno relaxes his shoulders, lips curling into a small smile as he takes a short step towards his partner.

“ Aboat time you washed into shore, ” He delivers the poor pun (he’s saving his best for later) with a straight face, drawing his arm from behind his back to hold out the envelope to Heizou. “ For you. Happy birthday. ”

The journey from Inazuma to Sumeru remains surreal to someone as unused to the sight of the ocean entirely encompassing his surroundings as Heizou is even after the dozenth time partaking in it - the endless blue offering him a sense of peace (there are no constraints in the middle of nowhere, no fatal dangers, no murderous creatures, no whimsical lightning strikes to be cautious of) but there is also far too much idle time on his hands to spend within the confines of his mind, faced with naught but the low murmur of the passing waves and the widespread freedom to think of anything and everything without worry of interruption.

Typically, the silence aids in Heizou's endeavors of planning the key points of his trip or cracking ancient yet unsolved cases as a side hobby, but today the silence feels beyond lonely, suffocating rather, as though the detective has found himself underneath the waves rather than above them. It's a common occurrence for his mood to drop as soon as his birthday rolls around, particularly so when he cannot find relief in hiding behind orchestrated distractions to pass the time until his birthday is no more, and a part of him wonders whether it'd have been for the better to schedule this trip for another time, or whether it'd have been simpler on him to extend an offer to someone to join him on the trip.

A hollow laugh escapes at the idea, one hand reaching to touch the stanchion while the redhead gazes towards the horizon. Neither could've worked, for Sara has granted him time off with his special day in mind (an awfully sensible thing of her to do, and frankly Heizou isn't sure how to feel about it) and there isn't anyone he wishes to bother with a request as inane as "spend some time with me" when everyone he knows is leading busy lives that could do without his extra interference. Kazuha isn't there anyway, and Shinobu is busy with interviews... nevermind his family. When was the last time he has even seen any of them, other than his cousin? When was the last time they had even cared to spend his birthday with him, or to gift him anything that wasn't meant for his future as the dojo's owner?

A fleeting pang of his heart ensues at the rather pathetic realization (there is no one else he can deem a friend in the land he's lived all his life, nor do his blood ties care about his existence beyond their own reputation), but an abrupt & rough inhale of air followed by a longwinded exhale (a tested & tried method) breaks the detective out of the depressive slope he may have otherwise found himself sliding down on, and Heizou attempts to refocus his attention onto something better suited for his precious time than brooding. That isn't like him, after all (he never allows it to be).

Although with far more effort than usually required, the hours-long voyage ends without a hitch. Little progress has been made in any of the cases he's tried to piece together along the way, and his mental state hasn't quite recovered from what it has been like ever since the day has started, but resiliently as ever, Heizou finds himself determined to banish the lows and concentrate on the highs as the brief turbulence heralds the ship's arrival in Sumeru. The fact alone seems to brighten the detective's spirits by a smidgen, both as a promise to soon meet with his dear friend, and as a welcoming of distractions sure to come in the shape of the city's hustle and bustle.

Perhaps the sudden wave of excitement at the prospect is what brings some spring to Heizou's steps, but he grows slightly more energized than he'd been until that point, vibrantly making his way onto the docks. It certainly helps that an overly familiar head of white hair also pops into view as soon as he glances in Sumeru's direction, and Heizou cannot help the fond chuckle that escapes him at both at the sight itself and at the very much expected pun that greets him. He's heard better ones before, but Cyno's expressionless way of uttering every joke never fails to bring a smile onto his face, nor does the other's mere presence ever fail to uplift his mood.

It's such a simple thing, and yet Heizou already feels much better than he has all day. ❛ I was wondering what joke you'd be starting today off with. If only my friends from back home knew I have the privilege of hearing puns like these every time I visit Sumeru, they'd be envious for shore. ❜ A warmer smile stretches on his features after replying in kind (a habit he may well fall into in Inazuma too if left unchecked) and for a moment Heizou contemplates opening his mouth again, to either talk about his trip or to inquire about where his accommodations are this time around, or perhaps even to invite Cyno for lunch.

However, the unexpected birthday wish that leaves Cyno's mouth next knocks the air out of Heizou's lungs, his cheerful persona breaking apart for a fleeting moment while his smile subconsciously wavers and his eyes widen in response. There are many emotions swirling through him all at once (shock, confusion, disbelief), plenty of which must have made their way onto the surface as well, and even though verdants manage to glance down at the gift and understand that he isn't imagining it, the redhead remains at a loss (for words, and for what to think of any of this). ❛ ......You... ❜ -knew? ❛ I... ❜ -don't believe I've ever told you when my birthday is.

The lack of cohesion in any of his attempts to speak prompts Heizou to not speak at all, the temporary silence growing fairly awkward while he works on gluing himself back together into a more presentable self. It's with great effort that he manages to smile brightly again (although this time around it tethers on the falser side than the genuine one he'd worn before), brushing off his initial reaction to the gift as simply being shocked by the surprise rather than owning a deep distaste for his birthday & a heavy unfamiliarity to being thought of in such a manner.

How is he meant to readily accept this as reality when no one else has ever put nearly as much effort into celebrating his birthday in all the years he can remember? ❛ You sure know how to leave a man speechless, Cyno. ❜ A laugh, practiced enough to not sound as broken as he feels, and Heizou gracefully extends a hand to welcome and accept the gift. ❛ Do you mind if I open it now, or should I leave it for later? ❜ His tone is upbeat, a stark contrast to the brief accident from moments prior.

Ever so slowly, curiosity peeks its way onto the fray, driving the detective to want to know what gift the other could've spent his resources on with him in mind - though truth be told, Heizou considers himself unable to be disappointed even if nothing but a single coupon lies inside the envelope (the thought alone... the endeavor of finding out when his birthday is in spite of his never mentioning it... the act of gifting him something, anything - that is more than enough for him to forever be grateful to Cyno for).

Heizou's gaze is attentive to every detail on Cyno's face as he waits for an affirmation or a denial to his subtle request (not wishing to impose - especially not now after forcing his friend to watch the sorry sight that constituted his initial reaction to a gift even existing in the first place) and only once he receives the okay for it does he deftly open the envelope, eyes carefully reading the words written on the license he finds inside.

For a second time, Heizou's eyes widen as he forgos the act of breathing entirely, certain that he must be reading something wrong, or failing to pick up on something between the lines. More conscientiously than before, he blinks and rereads it from the top to the bottom, diligently making sure not to gloss over a single word - and yet the result is the same as it had been the first time. The "detective license" words seem to stare back at him alongside the nation the license has been issued by & for, and this is one of the few times in his life that Heizou can attest to an out of body sensation (the first one ever when the occasion that prompted it is happy rather than tragic). "Shikanoin Heizou"... a detective license meant for him, in a nation that he has done little to deserve something this grand? Not to mention how hard it is to obtain one even after proving one's worth---

Inhaling just enough air to keep his body from ceasing to function, Heizou's gaze lifts to stare into Cyno's eyes in a silent query, a plea to tell him now if he's misunderstanding something or interpreting this poorly, but no such negative answer comes, and the reality of it all suddenly hits Heizou akin to a wave hitting a capsizing ship in a stormy night. But this is no stormy night, it's the brightest day he can recall on ever having; and this is no drowning feeling as much as it is the feeling of finally breathing again after having previously been submerged. He opens his mouth to say something - a thank you to express his gratitude, a question from the myriad that are circling in his mind, an anything that might escape him in reply really, but a salty taste finds itself on his tongue, and only after glancing down at the odd drop of water on the license does Heizou realize he's crying.

A low gasp accompanies his realization and the redhead has half a mind to wipe his tears on the back of his hand and try to regain his composure before thanking & reassuring Cyno that these are happy tears rather than sad ones, but instead he glances at his friend again, and the worried expression he's met with only warms his heart further, softening and making it beat even faster than before (to think that Cyno is worrying about him now... even though he's been nothing but a rude mess in the face of a heartfelt gift the other must've been through hellish trials to obtain... it feels almost wrong of him to be as happy about it as he is).

Perhaps he should follow his usual, trusty logic, but the overflow of emotions has even Teyvat's best detective beat - and Heizou can't stop himself from almost jumping into Cyno's arms, tightly embracing him in an attempt to convey how he feels in a way that words could never manage. ❛ Thank you, Cyno... really... I love it. ❜ Is all he manages to shakily let out against Cyno's skin amid the tears (and he'll have to apologize for those too, once he'll catch his breath) but the soft giggle that follows and the grip he has on the other (which spares not even the air that could've separated their bodies) speak enough about Heizou's mood on their own that they'll hopefully ease the anxious tension his friend must feel by even a bit.

The port is generally busy enough to not warrant just anyone a glance, but this particular sight might be an exception to the unspoken rule - after all, when would anyone ever be able to say they've seen someone (a foreigner, no less) happily embracing the General Mahamatra himself, and being met with no punishment for it, ever again? For once, though, Heizou doesn't care to pay potential bystanders any mind, instead focusing every bit of his attention onto the calming scent of Cyno's hair and the coming to terms he has to do with his newfound circumstances.

❛ You really outdid yourself... ❜ A soft whisper, only for the two of them to hear, much like the rest of Heizou's words. ❛ How did you know it's my birthday today...? And how- how did you manage to issue a detective license for me? I know what I went through to get one back in Inazuma, and that's the place I was born... so I know it couldn't have been easy for you to obtain it... ❜ An acknowledgement Cyno most definitely deserves for everything he's done, and although Heizou has managed to somewhat comprehend this situation, he still cannot believe anyone would go this far for him (of their own volition too).

And for his birthday no less, the one day that has given him more anxiety over the years than even the worst of the cases he's worked on. What a deeply ironic thing, to watch the day he's disliked the most now prove to also be his happiest... His heart steadily tempers as he slightly shifts his head to rest his cheek on Cyno's shoulder, making no move to put distance between them (though allowing Cyno to easily do so if desired), and Heizou glances up at the other with a small, authentic smile, awaiting an answer while remaining partly deep in his own thoughts.

Come to think of it... this is the first honest gift he's received that has even a smidgen to do with his own interests rather than the giver's... isn't it?

#muse: shikanoin heizou.#destinywoven #* shikanoin heizou. / ic.#THYME I AM EATING MY FIST AS WE SPEAK I CANNOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT BELIEVE EITHER OF THEM #Cyno is The sweetest person in the whole universe. no ifs no buts he's THE!!!!!!!!!!! person ever #Him being anxious about whether to give Heizou the gift or not bc he might be overstepping his boundaries if he does...#ONLY FOR HEIZOU TO HAVE THE WORST FIRST REACTION EVER TOO FHSUDSFFJSF Heizou: so shocked that he got to the shadow realm #No bc this took him SO by surprise HE'S NEVER BEEN IN A SITUATION EVEN REMOTELY SIMILAR TO THIS ONE #The sheer shock that Cyno knows when his bday is... the fact that he prepared a GIFT for him on top of it... /when Heizou didn't prompt it/#Shikanoin ''I know other than a genius detective; everyone sees me as a burden'' Heizou: .exe has stopped working.#Also me realizing midway thru that most of his gifts were either not related to him at all (aka his family imposing their wills on him)#or gotten through dishonest means which soured everything (aka his former friend stealing things to gift them to him as kids)...#most of his bday gifts whenever Shinobu or Kazuha were around for his bday were probably meals or new cases they heard about too...#(WHICH HE DOES LOVE but they're not exactly palpable things and they knew about his bday /from/ him so to him they might've felt obligated)#hence Cyno breaking the door and coming in w a DETECTIVE LICENSE made every braincell in Heizou's body stop for maintenance #Sorry to Cyno I bet he must've expected an Entirely different reaction and yet here he is with a sobbing Heizou in his arms ADGHASDSADHSA #THAT SAID HE DEFINITELY ACHIEVED HIS GOAL OF MAKING HEIZOU HAPPY!!!!!!!! Heizou's first /actually/ happy birthday ever I'm going to CRY #He was satisfied w just spending his bday w Cyno bc he's always in a good mood around him but he got So Much More than that...#How are they such an effortlessly perfect match mY HEART...........

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