#source: @Nicole_Cliffe and @momofink on twitter | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

incorrect-hs-quotes · 15 days

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JOHN: if you normalized something (non-awful) because your family did it and then realized it was not, in fact, normal or remotely common, i would love to hear about it. i'll start.

JOHN: the villain in my bedtime stories was always the president of the home owner's association and i was sooooo confused when no one else had heard of him.

JANE: When I was a kid, my dad and I would play that game at the playground where the kid stays up on the climbing structure and the adult stays on the ground to chase the kid. Usually the adult is like a monster or a lava monster, or something. But my dad always pretended to be George Bush?

JOHN: OKAY?

ROSE: My mom never let me roll down the windshield when we were on highways, because, and I quote, "the car is goign so fast tht the wind can topple cars". And I just... never questioned it until years later. Turns out she just didn't like the noise.

DAVE: oh yknow that game grown ups do with young children where they chase you around and go "oh youre so cute i could eat you up! im gonna eat ya!" that kind of thing

DAVE: ok well when my bro did that i used to go "no you wont you love me. also im your only brother"

DAVE: then my bro would go really silent and tell me that actually No i had another older sibling that he cannibalized. i only survived because i was a cute baby and he waited too long and i got too big to fit in the pot anymore

DAVE: and it would make me really angry because i knew he was lying but i had no way to prove it and he thought it was the funniest thing ever

DAVE: anyway i only found out in school when i was trying for a "lol so relatable" type of joke with my friends that apparently being told your whole life that you had a dead middle sibling that my bro cannibalized isnt a common thing that other families also do

JOHN: ...dude,

#source: @Nicole_Cliffe and @momofink on twitter #additional stories from @you-held-the-door and @memento-mariii #leave it to dave to have the most fucked up story LMAO #jade jake dirk and roxy all listening to these stories like '...is this what living in civilization is like...'#NO theyre all just horrendous outliers #meanwhile the trolls are like 'ohhh yeah thats a universal experience. yeah i did that with my lusus' probably #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #incorrect quotes #mod dave #john egbert #jane crocker #rose lalonde #dave strider

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