#sorry this took forever i fell out of op lol
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Imagine Luffy going blind. Post time skip (because he got that observation Haki)
Thank you for the kind words! I’m slowly going to return to write short things on here as warm ups, and this one was the most requested!———————————————————————————————————
The first time Nami realises something is different about Luffy–aside from the obvious–is a calm day, when the seas are stilland the winds quiet. It happens over a goddamn chicken thigh, too. Of allthings.
His new “captain”, not that she’d call him that,is a weird guy. He calls himself a pirate but he acts nothing like it. They’veonly sailed together for a couple days now, and the only thing he’s hurtwithout cause is Nami’s wallet. Making that deal about paying for his food andZoro’s booze was probably the worst financial decision Nami’s ever done.
They’re in a dinghy barely big enough forthree, and Luffy’s hyperactive presence takes up enough space he might as wellcount for five people. It’s almost embarrassing it takes Nami so long to figureit out.
Because she manages to nab the last bit ofchicken for their dinner, and Luffy’s hat gets pushed off his head as hescrambles to steal Zoro’s portion, and a gale blows his bangs off his face justright, and–
She hasn’t looked.
Hasn’t wanted to,really, or hasn’t bothered. Because getting to know Luffy and Zoro would be tochisel them out of the moulds she’s carefully put them in, the ones made ofharsh beatings and past betrayals. Looking at them and seeing past theirbruised knuckles and bloodied clothes would be admitting that Luffy’s not lyingwhen he says he isn’t like those pirates. Like Arlong.
So she hasn’t looked, and she hasn’t seen.
“Your eyes…” Nami draws in a breath, andher chest tightens. Because Luffy always wears that hat that casts a shade overhis eyes, and his bangs are long and greasy and stick to his forehead, and moreoften than not he has either dust or dirt or blood or food on his face, and allof that means that Nami hasn’t noticed the opaque haze over his eyes, and thelight scarring that marks the skin around the top half of his face.
“What?” Luffy asks, now happily munching onthe chicken leg. Zoro had relinquished it as soon as he’d noticed Nami’s shock.He’s listening now, eyes peeled on Nami. Her surprise and horror aren’tmirrored on his face, and Nami realises that he’s beaten her to this–torealising that their captain is fucking blind.
He seems so happy, so carefree–entitled,almost. Like he thinks himself invulnerable, like he doesn’t care what happensto anyone or anything.
“You can’t see.”
Luffy nods. And he keeps eating. And Nami,beside herself, because she hasn’t cared—dared—to look past the smiles and thepunches and the raw strength. It was useful, to keep things that way.
And now she’s furious—with herself, notLuffy—at this stupid rubber—
“—idiot!Didn’t you think that’d be something worth mentioning?”
Luffy shrugs. “You didn’t ask. And I canfight fine, it’s not a problem.”
Behind him, Zoro smirks. It does nothingbut fuels Nami’s ire. She smacks Luffy on the head, his teeth clamping aroundhis tongue that he’d had outstretched to lick the last of the chicken juicesoff his fingers. He whines, like a puppy, and glares at Nami with thosesightless eyes.
“What was that for? It’s not a big deal!”
“Obviously it’s a big deal; what if you’dgotten hurt because you can’t see and that caused us to die? We could have beenin danger!”
“We’re pirates—”
“I’m not!”
Luffy continues as if he was deaf, notblind. “—and being a pirate is dangerous even if you can see. We could die anyday just because that’s how it is.”
The conviction in his tone shakes Nami outof her fit of frustration. Luffy has held his own—more than that, he’s fought menwho resemble mountains and shrugged off bullets, cannon balls, Nami’s harshwords. He’s strong. Nami knows this. Based on Zoro’s growing smile—it lookslike he should be growling, or maybe purring—a happy, slightly feral raccoon waitingto murder an unsuspecting onlooker.
Him and Luffy truly are made for each other.And they’ve not lost a fight yet.
“Fine.” She sighs. She tears a bit of her breadand hands it to Luffy; bribing, asking, “What happened, then? How can you stillfight?”
Luffy stuffs the bread into his mouthwithout chewing and cheeks bulging, he hums in thought.
“Some pirates grabbed me when I was a kid.”He says it so nonchalantly, like it’s nothing. He doesn’t keep going, either,and Nami watches in disbelief as Luffy swallows, and then digs a finger so farinto his nose she’s surprised it doesn’t peek out from his ear, next.
“Yeah?” she snaps, because Luffy can’t justdrop a bombshell like that and then pretend it’s nothing special. “Keep going,idiot.”
“Oi. Mind your own business, witch.”
“It’s okay, Zoro.” Luffy smiles. He sitswith his legs crossed, hands wrapped around his ankles. Swaying back and forth,he hums, and begins to explain.
“They were mad at me because I wouldn’ttell them where Ace and Sabo’s treasure was. And they hit me a bunch but itwouldn’t work because I’m rubber, you know? But then one guy punched me withknife gloves and when I still wouldn’t tell, he poured some stuff on my faceand it ate my eyes. Ace and Sabo were so mad!”
“Who are—” Nami starts, then cuts herselfoff. “How old were you?”
“Like seven, I think.”
“By the seas. Fuck.”
The wind from the east has grown in forcesince she started her interrogation. It’s going to push them four degrees toofar off mark, but the currents in the area might push them back if she givesthem a little nudge, later. It’s easier to focus on them being off course thanon the fact that this sunshine of a boy was so brutally hurt as a child.
“How do you fight?” Zoro asks curiously, then. “I’veseen your attacks. You don’t miss, and sometimes you attack when you don’t evenknow where to hit.”
“Gramps taught me some mystery thingy thathelped me see without eyes. He said it’ll make me a good marine, but he was sowrong.” Luffy snickers, like it’s a funny joke. There’s chicken in his teethand seaweed drying on his shoulder from when he fell overboard earlier. “Sometimes I can tell what’s going to happen before it happens, because of it.”
“Okay.Well, you seem to be able to hold your own with that ability.” Nami smiles. Shethinks of home, of Nojiko’s bright hair and the deep blue of her tattoos andthe endless orange of their tangerine grove.
Luffy will never see any of it.
“My hair is orange. And I have freckles.Brown eyes. Zoro has green hair and three swords, two black and one white.”
“Wow, you sound pretty!” Luffy looksrelieved, somehow; a tension Nami hadn’t even noticed draining from his frame. “IsZoro pretty, too?”
“Oi, I—”
“Oh, yeah. Zoro’s super pretty.”Nami smiles, grinning at their swordsman. He looks annoyed, but Nami thinks sheisn’t imagining the faint blush spreading on his neck and cheeks.
“Shut up.”
“Luffy needs to know, right?”
“You didn’t have to say it like that!”
They continue bickering for a while, and Luffylistens to them, laughing that bright peeling laugh of his.
(Some days later, when Nami is alone in a wealthysick girl’s mansion, she will sit and think of how it felt to be seen by thisodd blind boy. How comforting it was to be encapsulated in his aura, to know thatthe safety he exudes will shield from all harm. Like being watched by the sea,something that can’t be changed or moved against its own will. Luffy feels likethat, sometimes. A force of nature.)
On the dinghy, on the seas that have thegrowing east wind pushing on their sail, Luffy grabs Nami and Zoro’s attentionwith a single hum.
“Nami, do you trust me even if I don’t have eyes?”
“I don’t trust anyone, blind or not.”
Luffy shrugs. “Alright. Just remember what I said, then?”
“What? You say a lot of things,” she challenges,questions; almost afraid of the answer. And Luffy smiles—that stupid smile ofhis that makes Nami feel warm inside and makes her think everything will beokay.
“You’re my navigator.” Luffy takes herhand, his reach sure and strong. He squeezes her fingers, cocking his head abit, and then he’s looking right at her with his stupid sightless eyes thatstill drill right into her and peer into her soul. It feels like no one hasever seen her like he sees her right now. “I don’t need to see where we’re going,because you’ll always be by my side.”
And damn the seas and currents and east windsand stupid grinning pirates, because Nami wants that to be true so hard ithurts.
She squeeses his hand back, and dreads the day she’ll have to leave him so she can return home.
#opfanfic#one piece#monkey d. luffy#one piece nami#cat burglar nami#imaginemonkeydluffy#sorry this took forever i fell out of op lol#also i didnt proof read it so if you see a mistake no you don't
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Energon Universe: Transformers #2.
A collection of thoughts.
(Finally took the time to read it.)
Oh noes! Optimus steps on a deer and gets upset. *sigh* No blood or implied gore, like with Starscream squishing a human. Even on soft ground, something is gonna show after a flattening like that. Is this the sign a good guy did it or something?
Also, Spike watched it happen. No reaction beyond, "It's okay." No squeamish look you might get on the average human watching a large animal get squished like that. Maybe it was because of the lack of gore? *snerk*
Then... Optimus has no knowledge of the word "mom" despite having obviously obtained a download of a human language. I could see it as him allowing Spike a chance to explain, but it hits me as kind of silly and far too human for an alien robot. (So far, this is not painting OP as a sympathetic character to me. Just... kinda hamfisted.)
And Cybertronian history infodump. Yay. Not a bad thing as this is supposed to be a reasonable entrance for new readers, but... not feeling it as a little chat in the forest with Spike.
Also also, OP states they'd been fighting TWO centuries as compared to Starscream's one century in issue one. 🤔 Will issue three have someone say three centuries? *lol*
Flashback sequences during the infodump to confirm Megatron on Earth, though, so I guess that's something.
Cliffjumper... Not feelin' him. Sorry.
Decepticon time? Decepticon time. Let's collect some energon with the Cons, shall we? Skywarp is Skywarp. Soundwave?
Is most excellent... Bill & Ted time for Sounders, huh? Sure hope this doesn't tint my perception of Skybound Soundwave forever because I'd never be able to take him seriously. 😅
Frat boy Warp, what? Still, Skywarp is Skywarp. (It's really hard to get him wrong if you exert any effort at all, I think. 😂)
The joy Starscream gets from taking out humans is absolutely hysterical. I think this is the most I've ever enjoyed a Starscream (and I usually don't).
Oh, look. One of the humans in the plane is a Joe. Duke, as a matter of fact. Not particularly shocked. Starscream Vs Duke, coming soon.
Back on the ground, Skywarp... Oh, Skywarp, I think I appreciate you the very most of everyone we've had introduced so far. You're a beautiful blast of gremlin energy. 💜💜💜
And, oh, what's this?
Soundwave warning Skywarp? I'm reminded of Starscream's woe in issue one when Thundercracker fell apart after his rebuilding was interrupted. These Cons really seem pretty openly close.
Oh, Optimus... you were starting to not be background noise for me due to IDW. So far here? Nothing but static. *sigh*
Am I cackling over Laserbeak following Carly's van because Carly drew Optimus on the side of it? Yes. Yes, I am. LOL!
Oh shit! Squished Davey was Carly's dad! LMAO! (Sorry, I can't help it. Holy crap, I'm dying... 😂🤣😂)
Coming soon to a comic near you: Starscream Vs. Carly. XD
Uh, yeah. Not feeling the Autobots at all yet. Terrible terrible terrible. The Decepticons? Much more my speed. 💜
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Hazy - 4/? | westallen fanfiction
A/N: Angst city. Enjoy! lol.
Commissioned by @jennlee44
*Many thanks to @valeriemperez for beta’ing.
...
Chapter 4 -
Two days later, and Barry still had no clue how to get out of Iris’ proposed arrangement.
Date someone else? No way. Even pretending to date someone that wasn’t Iris was out of the question. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone. He wasn’t over Iris, and it would be so unfair to whoever was “dating” him to act like he was. Besides, in his reality he was Iris’ fiancé. It felt like cheating on her to even think of someone else in that way. He wasn’t physically or emotionally capable of it.
Holding hands? Cuddling? Kissing? Making love?
He was squeamish just at the thought of any of those.
No. He couldn’t do it, and he wouldn’t. No amount of tears on Iris’ part could make him, as much as he hated to see her cry.
He turned to look at the clock and saw it was nearing his lunch break. One more case to go through and he’d let himself get out of CCPD for the next half hour. Forever fearing he’d run into Eddie or Iris made his workspace a war zone the past few days. His only comfort was Joe texting him when he and Eddie were going out into the field, so that he knew it was safe to make his escape.
He’d made the mistake of not waiting for a text the day before and caught Iris and Eddie in a loving embrace at Eddie’s desk. Apparently, all had been forgiven and they were a happy couple once more. Luckily, Eddie’s back had been facing him. Unluckily, that made Iris’ eyes meet his in a surprised and curious gaze. He quickly turned away and headed for the elevator, but her eyes were still watching him until the doors closed.
It was just a matter of time before Iris confronted him again, and he couldn’t figure out how to respond. Burst out that he was in love with her? That he would never date someone else? Accuse her of torturing him by asking him to do something he didn’t have it in him to do?
He didn’t know. But what he did know was that the sound of high heels were coming towards him down the hall merely seconds later, and he was too caught up in his own head to recognize them.
The knock on the door frame jolted him to her presence.
“Knock, knock,” she said.
His phone vibrated on his desk, and with a single glance Barry saw it was from Joe. He and Eddie had left.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” she continued, walking into the room.
“I’ve been working,” he said, and she took note on how his pile was half as high as it had been two days ago.
“Your bruise looks to have healed up nicely,” she commented.
“Mhmm.” He quickly categorized the files into two piles and reached for his brown sack lunch.
She came and sat on the edge of his desk in the one spot where there was nothing occupying it.
He sighed, grateful it didn’t come out as a nervous gasp. She was so close.
If he was back in his time, this could easily turn into a steamy situation.
But he wasn’t. Because somehow, he’d ended up here. In a time where maybe Iris secretly had feelings for him, but she was married to Eddie, and there was nothing he or anyone else could do to change that.
“What are you doing here, Iris?”
“I came to check up on my best friend,” she said matter-of-factly.
“But I’m not your best friend,” he said, standing up. “I’m not anything to you.”
He saw that hurt her, but he wouldn’t let himself get affected. He walked past her and towards the exit.
“And whose fault is that?” she asked bitterly.
He stopped, his teeth grinding against each other as his hand clenched around the door frame.
Before he could spit some repulsive thing in response though, she was quick to come to him.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I know you don’t like the situation any more than I do.”
He turned around. “So why are you pushing someone else at me when I’m not…ready?”
“It’s been a year, Barry.”
“It’s been 17, Iris.”
Her face fell, downcast.
“So, you still…?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I do.”
Her shoulders slumped, and then her sad face turned angry.
“Well, what am I supposed to do with that?”
“The same thing you did before, I guess,” he snapped. “Cut me out of your life.”
“That’s not what I wanted! I-” She stopped, realizing she’d said too much.
Dots started to connect in Barry’s head.
“What do you mean that’s not…?”
She sighed, her face downcast again.
“After what happened at the reception, he said you or him.”
His eyes widened. “And you picked him.” His hurt could not be concealed.
“I’d just married him, Barry. I promised him my life, through thick and thin, sickness and health, good times and bad. I…I had to.”
“But I was your best friend, Iris!”
She took a step back.
“You shouldn’t have kissed me. Then none of this would have happened.”
“I was probably drunk,” he said.
“You were! Which made it even worse. You were Eddie’s best man, for crying out loud.”
Oh, God. He was? He wrinkled his nose in disgust.
“Let me guess, you don’t remember that either.”
His eyes narrowed.
“I’m going to leave now, go on my lunch break. Don’t be here when I come back.”
Her jaw dropped, her eyes filling with tears. He wanted to take it back. He wanted to take it all back. But he had to get her to leave. He couldn’t give her what she wanted, and he couldn’t stand to have her so close and not really have her.
“You could apologize to Eddie!” She called after him. “You’ve never done that either.” She scoffed, then softened. “That might work.”
He stopped again and turned around.
“Iris…” He sighed. “I don’t know if I want to be your friend right now.”
She took a step back, shocked to her core.
He turned away finally and made his way down the hall to the elevator, fighting to get Iris West-Thawne out of his head. She wasn’t his, and he needed to stop pretending she was. At least in this timeline.
…
That night, Barry decided to go out to a bar and get drunk. He also wanted to be entertained, so he went to the same karaoke bar he had with Caitlin back in the timeline he knew when they were both miserable and pining over people they couldn’t have.
Big mistake.
He spotted Caitlin and Ronnie at a table off to the side, and within five minutes of being there, Ronnie had dragged her up onto the stage to sing “Summer Lovin’.” Caitlin wasn’t drunk this time and was instead very nervous. Barry was amused. If only she knew…
And if only he could talk to her, ask for her advice. She had always been such a good listener when he needed to vent about Iris. And Cisco was a great distraction. He could get Iris out of his head like no one else could when he just needed a break from the drama and angst and heartbreak.
He missed their friendship. He missed having a friend. It was just depressing being in this timeline, considering that the only person he really had was Joe. And as great as Joe was, he always knew what was on Barry’s mind, and he couldn’t fix it either. Plus, there was just something about someone your own age having your back.
He turned away from the off-pitch pair onstage and paid for a beer at the bar.
Iris hadn’t been in the lab or even at CCPD when he’d returned from his lunch break. He’d meant what he said at the time, that he didn’t want to be friends – because he wanted to be more than that, and that he didn’t want her there – because he needed space from her accusations and pleading requests.
But he missed her all the same. It was hard to finish his work for the day because he couldn’t get her out of his head. And for all his trying, he couldn’t help believing that they belonged together. Not just if Eddie had died and not just if he’d told her how he felt about her sooner, but every timeline, every version of reality, they all resulted in Iris changing her name to West-Allen. Always.
He refused to believe this one was any different.
“Barry Allen,” a nearby voice announced with flair.
He quickly turned to see who the mischievous voice belonged to, though he’d be a fool not to remember her. She was impossible to forget.
“Linda?”
“You remember me,” she sassed. “Fantastic.”
She took a seat next to him at the bar and lured the bartender over.
“I’ll have what he’s having.”
The man handed her a beer, and she quickly paid for it.
“So, what brings you to these parts?” she asked, sidling close. It didn’t make him uncomfortable, but it did make him wonder if she was just a little bit tipsy. “Karaoke doesn’t really seem like your scene.”
“And what is my scene?” he asked, hoping to put some clues together of what exactly his relationship had been to Linda Park in this timeline.
“Anywhere Iris is, probably,” she muttered into her bottle.
Barry blushed. “Iris and I aren’t on speaking terms right now.”
“Oh, I know,” she informed him. “I used to see your pretty face in CCPN almost every day, but for the past year, poof! It’s like you never existed. I know why too.”
“Then you know why I’m not where Iris is right now.”
“I invited her to come out with me tonight,” she told him. “You would’ve been right on track with my suspicions if she’d said yes.”
“Well, I’m glad she didn’t.”
Linda looked at him curiously.
“Oh, yeah, why’s that?”
“You’re friends with Iris. Don’t you know?”
“Eddie?”
He nodded and took another sip of his drink.
“Yep.” He popped his lips.
“Still…you guys have been friends for years,” she continued. “I didn’t think her getting married would change that, even given the stunt you pulled.”
He rolled his eyes. “Don’t remind me.”
The silence lingered, and he gawked when she looked to still be waiting for a response.
“Didn’t she tell you? Eddie told her to choose between the two of us, and she chose him. So now we can’t be seen together, or it’ll cause problems in their marriage. The end.”
Linda’s eyes widened.
“No.”
He turned to face her.
“She didn’t tell me that.”
“Yeah, well, she didn’t tell me either until today.”
“I’m sorry, Barry,” she said softly. “I didn’t think she’d give you up so easily.”
He shrugged. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think it was. Easy for her, I mean. But that still doesn’t change the fact that she did it. Or the…bizarre thing she’s asked me to do so we can openly be friends again.”
“Oh? I’m intrigued.”
He snorted.
“Come on, tell a girl. You know I’ll never hear it from Iris.”
He sighed. “She wants me to date someone else to convince Eddie I’m over her. So he won’t feel threatened or like I’m trying to steal his wife.”
“And are you?”
“Am I a threat?” He shrugged. “Maybe. There’s no chance in Hell I’m getting over her. That makes me threat enough, probably.”
Linda licked her lips.
“I might have a solution for you.”
“Oh, yeah, what’s that?”
“Well, it just so happens that recently Scott, our editor at CCPN, and I had a little…one-night stand.”
“Oh, Linda.” His nose scrunched up. “I did not need to know tha-”
“Shut up. I’m not done yet.” She laughed.
“Please…proceed.” He gestured for her to continue, his face still scrunched.
“Thank you.” She took a swig of her drink. “Let’s just say, I don’t want it to end that way. Or at all.”
“You like him.”
She set her chin in the palm of her hand.
“He’s attractive as hell,” she confirmed. “But uh…up here too.” She pointed to her head. “Not just-”
“I think I got the picture,” he said dryly.
“There’s more between us. I can feel it. And Iris…she has feelings for you, Barry. It’s why I never asked you out. I always thought you two were kind of inevitable.”
He sighed. “Yeah, me too.”
“Listen.” She set her hand on his arm. “Iris is loyal to a fault. She takes her wedding vows very seriously. But the two of you have been friends since way before Eddie came along. That should mean something.”
“I thought it did.”
“Take me out,” she said, straightening in her seat.
“What? No. Linda, I can’t-”
“Relax, it’s all pretend. We won’t do anything you don’t want to do, and privately we won’t do a thing. Let’s just show Iris and Scott what they’re missing out on.”
He hesitated. “You’re sure Scott doesn’t want more because he’s…hung up on someone else?” Like, Iris?
Her brows furrowed. “And who would that someone else be? Iris?”
She read him so well. She always had.
“I didn’t mean-”
“Even if that’s true,” she allowed. “That doesn’t mean I can’t change his mind. That doesn’t mean we,” She gestured between them, “can’t make both of them jealous.”
He stared at her for a long while before laying out his requirements.
“I don’t want to hold hands or cuddle or kiss.”
She smirked, amused.
“Can you put your arm around me?”
He blinked, having not thought of that.
“I…”
“Loop our arms together?”
“Well…”
“Pretend to whisper something flirtatious in my ear when Iris or Scott are watching?” She paused. “I’ll giggle to make it convincing.”
She leaned in.
“There are plenty of subtle ways to show we’re in a relationship, Barry Allen.” She held out her hand for him to shake. “So, are you in or are you out?”
...
*Also posted on AO3 and FFnet.
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I'm very happy to have received those replies from you- I especially cracked up when I saw the Ace picture! The icon made it a hundred times better, tbh. I can hear his voice. Right! The dreams. So in the Marco one, I was a jolly, confident whitebeard pirate. I was best buds with marco, hanging out with him, chatting with a smile on my face. When all of a sudden he accidentally pushed me overboard, and I fell right into the freezing-cold water. I was furious when I finally got back onboard, and
Marco was all "sorry man, I really am. My bad." I demanded the right to toss him back into the water. The whitebeard crew all said it was too dangerous, especially because he was a devil fruit user. So I said the first thing that came to mind since I was entitled to payback, and told him to come shopping with me to the next island we went to and to carry my stuff. He agreed rather casually, and my next unrelated dream was about me and my sis going shopping at a magic black market. As for my
Usopp/Vivi dream- Vivi was transported into my house through a portal, and had till sunset to get back. I was Usopp but also not... to get back, either of us had to jump from a sufficient height and into a hula-hoop. I insisted on trying for her, and I damaged my lose nose plenty. Vivi was kind of rude in a way that she didn't talk to me much, but we were pressed for time so I understood. Vivi built a ramp made of planks, and I ran across it. I took the final jump, but I failed and Vivi was
stuck in my homeland forever. So yeah... a reverse isekai, basically.
I cut the asks so it doesn’t get too confusing and I can answer properly, hope that is okay! Anyways, I don’t know why but I cracked up when you said Marco accidentally pushed you overboard LMAO I know it’s just a dream, but... anon... he did it on purpose... We’re talking about this giant ass phoenix he probably only messed with you LOL Maybe he wanted to go shopping with you all along but didn’t know how to ask you? That’s the reason, anon. believe me.
Again, it started rather okay but when you said you had to jump into a hula- hoop??? Anon, what are you eating before you go to sleep to have dreams like that??? YIKES. I guess Vivi is going to stay there forever now... man, I’m jealous of you dreaming about OP. Haven’t dreamt about them for soo long... I miss it T_T
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Wow you really went off the other day but at least it was worth it 😪 I normally look at the scenery when I’m on a road trip, but then I get bored of it and decide to sleep bc there’s nothing else to do. Motion sickness must suck :(( do you take gravol or something to help with it? Coffee literally drains the life out of my funds it hurts me
Yes omg pls make me cookies I love them. Maybe you can even open a bakery with pastries and sell some good /cheap/ coffee. Ilyt my dear baker 🥺 ye I’m not the biggest fan of my bday either but gotta celebrate anyway!! One year closer to death woohoo 🎉🎉 your birthday is the most important day of the year!!! You can’t fight me on this I’m right
Pearls are so good. Like most places I go to don’t add anything to the pearls so it’s just bland squishy balls but the place I frequent adds I think honey to sweeten them. It gives the pearls life istg. It tastes so good 🤤 hollering is a funny word. For some reason I always associate it with yodelling which makes me laugh
Ksks you must be op if you can make a joke in the wall with a door slam. I can’t relate my arms are literally sticks and I have no strength in me. Chrome books are terrible in general. Add my schools terrible wifi and you get one big recipe for disaster. I’d never fight u either (unless it’s for your bday) ily too much for that 🥺🥺🥺
Hahah I think it’s me. I haven’t heard anyone say “go ham” except for the people who go to my school. I find it really funny tho so I try to incorporate it whenever I can LOL easily burnt? Can’t relate but apparently I easily tan. There’s this one diagonal stripe on my shoulder that separates pale me and tan me which ??? How did that happen and what was I wearing for that to happen??
It’s all fun and games until you go outside and see a mountain of snow waiting for you to be shovelled. But there are some good aspects to winter, like skating and skiing and all that fun stuff. Snow is so heavy?? Or maybe I’m just weak but after I finish shovelling I’m beat. Gardening is not my thing. There’s too many bugs involved flying around 🥴
Kind of? I always thought it was short for cappuccino but I could be wrong. They don’t taste like fraps tho, they’re sm better. I was always a frap hoe until I discovered lattes. My old elementary school was close to a Starbucks so whenever frappy hour was happening, my friends and I would go almost every day LOL
I heard that dunkin coffee is really good. Oof there’s so many things that the us have that Canada doesn’t. But apparently you guys don’t have ketchup chips?? How can one live without them? You know that’s what soulmates are, we’re stuck together forever and I don’t mind that. I’d never leave you 😌😌
YES OMG LATTES ARE SO EXPENSIVE. I pay around the same amount and my wallet cries every time. If you ever yeet yourself off a bridge I’d come visit u in hell and bring u iced coffee 💖 we really are soulmates wtf I get almond milk in my lattes as well!! I used to get normal milk and was like “I’m a bad bitch milk can’t hurt me” but that didn’t really work out. Sigh what we do for coffee 😔
Washing dishes is disgusting. I hate doing them but yk someone’s gotta do it and that someone is me 😤 I’m acc lazy when it comes to smoothies, I usually ask my mom to make them LMAO. Pancakes are pretty much made of flour if you think about it so technically when u eat one plain ur eating cooked flour,, how barbaric. Waffles are Built. Like. They have a 20 pack 😪😪
I love angst personally so pls go ham but not too ham I’d like to keep my heart. Honestly at this point my last brain cell has given up on me. But yes I love angst and I love torturing myself with heart wrenching angst that leaves me crying into my pillow at 3am (I’m talking about this one haikyuu fic that I forgot the name of. I was literally dying inside jalsjwo)
Pls do send me peet’s I’ll send you an iced capp in a cooler so it’ll be somewhat melted and probably spilt everywhere 🤪 tumblrs probably gonna block me again, I’m looking at how much I’ve typed rn and it’s a lot lmaoo. Yes I managed to save myself. I redid the whole last with less detail bc I was not Having It but it turned out better?? How is ur drawing now?
I start after labour day in September. But starting in 3 weeks?????? On a Thursday?? I could never wtf. When do you end? I’m so confused with these ap and honours thing, like there’s none offered in my school nor majority of the school district. Are they just advanced classes or something? It is 7 classes a semester or the whole year?
Stan talent i think you meant yourself??? Jsjsksk I am not only ur coffee soulmate I’m not #1 fan as well and I support u bc ily 🥺🥺 the read more tag had me laughing for a hot minute. Like we really could make an essay out of all of our replies. I don’t have any pets (besides fish does that count?) unfortunately bc my moms allergic to fur 🥺 hbu?? (I can’t believe tumblr blocked me again they can fight me)
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i didn’t even pay LOL i freeloaded off my cousin 🤧 i like to look @ scenery sometimes but like i can’t bc my head hurts LOL and the scenery is always the same for me, mountains and fields with cows. i try to take dramamine but it makes me so drowsy that i’m just basically dead,,, i live off of my cousins money so i’m okay 🤪
tbh i use nestle toll house pre made cookie dough, like that shit actually slaps. it’s the best it’s so good omg, perfect for lazy hoes 🤧 death here we go ! the order is ur bday, then skz debut date, and then christmas i don’t make the rules sorry sis 😤
pearls are Dangerous, i once drank a smoothie and there were pearls in it and i couldn’t see them bc there were like. only 3 and they were Buried under the smoothie but i choked and almost died but i chewed one of them and it’s like. so weird. HOLLERING AND YODELING IM- i once went to some public yodeling class and left in 2 seconds bc it was a bunch of white boys dressed like the kid from walmart 😪
it’s not even strength i’m actually rly weak,, i always think the doors are closed but they’re not and so i like slam them open and the walls are thin so it’s just. a sad hole. terrible wifi,, my school has pretty good wifi tbh but we have like three connections, one for the chrome books only, one for the teachers & staff, and one for students and guests. like it works rly good but everyone has a VPN bc of stupid social media restrictions 😤 & ilyt 🥺 u would probably win in a fight tho LOL
go ham is so interesting. the first time i heard it i thought it meant go pig and i was so confused but ig,,, i live lathered in sun screen whenever i go somewhere with the sun. ppl are like “i smell sun screen” and im just there like 🙃 it’s me u got a problem u burnt chicken nugget ??? i wish i tanned easily, i have a tan friend and when i showed her when my legs got tan she was so confused. i thought i was tan tho? bc during marching band season my sock tan becomes So Bad i’m basically white. she said she was blinded when she saw me pull my sock down and i laughed so hard LOL & i hate those dumb random tan lines like. where u @ bro? where u come from??
snow is fun for like a day and then i get tired LOL i csn only handle wet socks and a red nose for so long 😔 i tried skiing one time and i did so bad that the instructor had to hold me down and walk with me down the slope. i fell so many times i think he hated me 😳 i’m also rly bad at skating? i went w my friends once and i held both of their hands and still managed to bring both of them down when i fell. a cute guy once helped me when i was struggling to walk so 🥴 not my brightest moment tbh,, trying to walk in skates while on ice. do u enjoy skiing/skating? also gardening is. gross. worms and dirt and the sun i’m not here for it.
u: cappuccinos! me: ...ice bergs,,, now that i think about it fraps kinda suck,,, i used to think i was So Cool for drinking starbucks but now i’m like. wow. i used to think there was coffee in a frap but it’s just. sugar and ice LOL also speaking of tmrw is bogo fraps here,, idk if it’s all over the world but myb u should check it out 😪
dunkins okay it depends on what you get, i once got an iced latte and it was good but my dad got an iced coffee and he like. hated it so we had to switch and it was so bad like. it was coffee crime. it was horrible and not strong it was basically milk 😤 also,, ketchup chip? i just googled what that was and. that’s literally so weird. fun fact i hate ketchup and all other condiments i can only eat bbq sauce and i tolerate steak sauce
UR LITERALLY SO CUTE OKAY UR MINE NOW HHHH
i mentioned this in the other ask but. we going broke bitches club 😪 when u come visit me it’ll be old town road the one w mason ramsey on a loop. nothing will top the og remix but no, i’ll be stuck listening to some 5 year old rap for all of eternity
I USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD KID AND DRINK MILK EVERY MORNING ever since i got to middle school i preferred sleep over waffles and milk and i hardly drink milk but when i do. my stomach does not have it.
my mom made me wash dishes today and she just stared at me when i put ziploc bags on my hands bc we didn’t have gloves but i just painted my nails and i’m not abt to put myself thru chipped nails. not yet 😤 waffles are so good like i love waffles and lattes only 🤧
well i’ll go very ham (am i doing it right LOL) 😤 the angst ending is a lot better than the open ended or happy ones LOL i’m so excited for it 🥺 i’m rly tryna get it out before the end of this month bc the edit says july and it’ll make me Mad if i don’t get it out before the end of this month
i wanna start in september 🤧 and i usually end in the first week of june. also on a wednesday LOL it’s gross. stupid. ap means advanced placement so it’s just. a college level class. lowkey mad bc i’m taking ap euro (as a sophomore 😒) and other schools take it in their senior years? apparently this is normal? and honors are just faster paced classes with more weighting so,, idrk oops 😬 some people take 7 classes in a semester but i took it for the whole year! this year i’m dropping orchestra i’m Not for that spit in the carpet life
the only talent in this house goes by ada and jisung. i don’t make the rules. i’m ur #1 fan 🥺 as soon as u post anything i automatically smash that rb button LOL also put a read more here bc like. we’re really out here writing a whole ass essay. i’ll look @ all our convos bet it’ll be like. a lot. i don’t wanna say smth and be off so i’ll just not. i have a dog! he’s the cutest in the world and i love him sm 🥺 tumblr can fight me first like. what’s this ask limit bull hhhhh
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Fanfic MST: ITS MY LIFE!, a Portal fanfic [part 12]
Oh yes, friends, it’s back! It’s been entirely too long (two years too long, to be exact) and I hope you’re all ready for some more vaguely Portal-flavored nonsense.
No real warnings for this chapter, just typical MarissaTheWriter ridiculousness. And canon character death, maybe, depending on whether or not you take the events of this chapter at face value (and, if I remember this story correctly, you probably shouldn’t).
Recap: Chell and GLaDOS have fused into one entity, P-body is pregnant, and Marissa for some reason decided that Rattman is the only one who can prevent disaster even though dude is strictly a non-action guy. She located him and now the two of them are planning on taking down the Chell/GLaDOS fusion.
Chapter 1
Previous chapter
AN YOU GUYSARE ALL SO WEIRD! YOU WERE GIVIN ME GOOD REVIEWS THEN YOU SAY IM A TROLL AN THAT YUR GONNA KILL ME AN PUT SALT IN MY THINGS?
That is pretty weird, yeah.
(I’m not even sure what she’s referencing. Maybe a play on “assault”?)
IF IT WERENT FOR THE PEPOLE HOO REALLY LICK MY STORY LIKE THE BUZINESS GUY AN SEPHRAL AN CAT NOT BOUNCY ID STOP IT RITE NOW!
I dunno who Sephral is, but “the buziness guy” is user ASBusinessMagnet (later a recurring character in MarissaTheWriter’s stories; I’m pretty sure we got married at one point), and “Cat Not Bouncy” is Tumblr user catbountry, who was going by “Not Cat Bountry” on Fanfiction dot net and who did a dramatic reading.
PS - I NO THAT GLADOS IS SPELLED GLADOS I CALLED HER FUSION CHELLGADOS BECOS CHELL ALREADY HAS THE LS AN IT SOUNDED MORE COOLER!
See, I told you she’d explain that. All makes sense now, right? Perfectly logical writing decision.
ITS MY LIFE!
CHAPTER TWELF: THE FINAL BATTLE
Bit of a misnomer, since this is not, in fact, the final chapter.
(Actually, if I remember correctly, MarissaTheWriter may have been writing by the seat of her pants; it’s possible she initially intended this as the True and Honest Final Battle.)
Ratman an I were goin thru the air ducks to get to CHELLGADOSs layer were the final show down wold be.
Oh my god, she means her lair, not her layer. That literally took me years to figure out. Holy fuck.
Wheatly was growlin an tryin to be scarry becos he didant have weapons so he was lick are cheer leader.
Considering what happens when Wheatley actually tries to be the bad guy, I think this is preferable.
We intered the layer an saw CHELLGADOS buildin turrents but these ones was speshal becos they cold walk a round an shoot an stuff!
Hey, I played Portal 2, I saw the turret assembly line. It’s pretty much autonomous. She doesn’t have to build them herself, and honestly I think she’d find it beneath her.
But maybe things have changed since I left the building.
"INTURDER!" One of the turrents called to CHELLGADOS. CHELLGADOS looked at me with all the angry she ever had.
That’s a phenomenal amount of anger. Surprised Marissa didn’t combust on the spot.
"Marrissa Roberts you have interfeared with my plans for the last time becos now I will kill you."
All right! Time for some murder!
Then she seed Ratman an got more angry. "RATMAN IS A LIFE? NOW YOU WILL BOTH DYE!"
I doubt she cares about killing Rattman, considering that she didn’t do so before and that he poses basically no threat on his own. Like I said… non-action guy.
CHELLGADOS taked out her portal gun wich was modified to shoot bullets lick a reel gun but cold shoot portals to just in case.
Okay, but does it really shoot bullets? I ask because the turrets use spring-loaded action in order to fire the entire bullet, which is obviously a hell of a lot less effective despite delivering more bullet per bullet. Explains why Chell can take so many hits without dying.
Point being, there’s no evidence Aperture Science knows how guns are supposed to work.
She fired the portal gun an it hit Ratman with a boom an I thot he was dead for sure.
But Ratman gotted up!
What? Is he still alive?
"Silly CHELLGADOS you cannt hurt me becos..." He pulled down his pants an I saw that he had replased his man thingys with... the space an rick cores!
…I know we’re leading up to a “balls of steel” joke, and I shan’t comment on that, but this raises so many goddamn questions. How do you replace your testicles with personality cores? A personality core is a hell of a lot bigger, and heavier, than a human testicle. Also, Space Core is in space, so how did Rattman get ahold of him? Did he shrink the cores somehow? How did this make him immune to bullets? How did he fit two personality cores in his pants? Why did he need to flash everybody?
My brain is hurting over this and I know it’s only in the story because the author wanted to make a stupid pun. Moving the hell on.
"IVE GOT BALLS OF STEEL!" (Thats from a game called Duke Nukum Forever its funny) The space core was still thing he was in space but Rick was mad at been one off Ratmans tentacles.
One of his tentacles? Are we in a hentai now?
"Well then ill just portal you into space like Wheatly an see how you like it you wont!" CHELLGADOS shooted a nother portal unner Ratmans feet an he was sucked into s space. "No dont you are my dotter Chell!" Ratman yelled as he got sucked in.
Uh… what? How? I thought Marissa and Chell were both Cave and Caroline’s kids in this story. Wasn’t that established several chapters ago?
"OMG HOW?" CHELLGADOS an me said at the same time to gether. "It all storted a long time ago..." Ratman gave us the down lo as he was just barely hanging on to the portal. "I used to work for Gabe Jonson affer he changed his name to Cave in onor of his dead brother. Caroline was got shot as you no Marrissa an was put in a robot body that was called... GLaDOS!"
Right, we know. How is he hanging on to the portal? Can you do that? I don’t think you can do that.
CHELLGADOS o-mouthed at his shockin words.
Did she forget she spent the beginning of this story being a goth emo over the revelation that she used to be human? Like… this isn’t news anymore.
"Gabe new he wold have to dotters named Marrissa an Chell but since GLaDOS was a prototip she an Cave coldnt make baby normal way an instead used the artificial enseamanation an grew test toob babys.
Hey, what the fuck is the “normal way” to have sex with a giant robot? Seriously, please inbox me if you know. It’s for a friend. I swear.
But there was a miksup an my dna got used instead of Gabes for one of the toobs that toob was... CHELL!" Then Rutman coldnt hold on any longer an fell into space an died.
Why did Aperture Science have a sperm sample from Rattman on file? How did they get DNA from Caroline, since her physical human body no longer exists? How does Rattman know about the mixup? Who carried the baby to term? How did two white people birth a woman of color? How did two white people birth a woman of color? I don’t know if I brought this up earlier in the MST, but I am directing that question at every “Chell is Cave and Caroline’s daughter” theorist too. You’re not off the fucking hook.
Then CHELLGADOS started shackin an looked funny. Chell was fightin back a gainst GLaDOSs control! "Marrissa there is not much time left you must kill me to stopped GLaDOS once and four all!"
Okay, but we know what happens when Marissa kills Chell — thanks to having consumed the “zombie taters,” Chell will just turn into a zombie. You don’t want the most tenacious woman in the world after your brains, but especially not when she’s fused with the most massive collection of wisdom to ever exist, who also hates you.
I o-mouthed becos Chells brane damage was cured so now I coldnt put her out of MISERY lol.
That’s actually not the concern I expected Marissa to have. She has no problem killing disabled people, but being fused with a homicidal AI who is using your body as her puppet is A-OK, even when the victim is begging for death?
Man, this girl could use some new priorities.
"But I cannt kill you Chell yur my sister there must be a nother way! Chell got sad "Hurry GLaDOS is takin control!" An she started lollin with evil. There was no way I cold kill Chell an then I rembered that GLaDOS used to be Carlion an that made me not want to kill herr neither.
Yeah, and remember how she used to be a well-written and complex character who cannot be reduced to a mere villain and who actually likes Chell so much she keeps writing songs about it?
Sorry, there I go talking about canon again.
"Bloody hell Marrissa shes powerin up!" Wheatly screemed from inside my jump soot an I looked up an saw CHELLGADOS was floatin in air an electric stuff was comin out off her. "THANKS MARRISSA YUO REMINDED ME THAT I USED TO BE CARALIN SO I REMBERED THAT I HAVE POWERS TOO!"
Hey, uh, what the fuck?
I o-mouthed, that dumb ingineer forgot to make it so only I gotted the powers! I didant no what to do now an it seemed hope less when a herd a sound. "Hey b**** were heer for backup!" It was... ATLAS AN P-BODY!
Who are they here to back up?
"OMG why are you jersk helpin me?" I asked while o-mouthin from the shock. "Becos CHELLGADOS is half yur sister an we dont lick you so we dont lick Chell neither!" Atlas eksplained. "An I rembered that you gave us the drugs an beer in the first place so if it wasnt for you we woldnt have drugs an beer!" P-Body added an Atlas nodded like yeah!
I guess that’s reasonable. I, too, feel indebted to those who give me drugs and beer.
We started ti fire are portal guns at CHELLGADOS an the portals combined to make a big portal black hole.
Co-op mode would benefit from the inclusion of this feature, I think.
"OH SH**!" CHELLGADOS screamed as the GLaDOS parts were all sucked out off Chell.
Should have attached them better, I guess.
Ones all of GLadOS was gone we closed the portal an Chell falled down on the ground. "Chell I safed you!" I rant to my sister an gave her hug. "Marrissa Im sorry, but the damaje from GLaDOS was to much..."
“…not to mention, having my butt sliced off after someone used their powers a little too recklessly…”
An she dyed in my arms. "Nooooo Chell my sister you are died!" I cried soooo much an Whealty cried to becos they was frends even Atlas an P-Body looked kinna sad.
Isn’t Chell gonna turn into a zombie now or are we not doing the zombie stuff anymore? Was that only because she was brain-damaged? This fic is confusing.
I put down Chells body an stand up when there was a clikclak nose be hind me.
Oh no! Not a clikclak nose!
"LOL we tricked you to get yur guard down Marrissa! Now die b****!" An Atlas an P-Body lolled an shot me in head.
I’ve probably mentioned it before, but I love that the author of this mess has no problem writing over-the-top violence but feels the need to censor the word “bitch.”
"Marrissa!" Wheatly screamed an ever thing got really black an I died.
Love the prose.
TO BE CONTINUED?
Yes, indeed, we’re not done with this fic yet!
OH NO MARRISSA IS DIED!
Oh, yes.
CAN WHEATLY SAFE HER?
Well, seeing as she’s dead, I think it may be a bit late for that.
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT ONE PS IM THINKIN OF MAYBE WRITIN A SPINNOFF A BOUT TEEN FORTRESS 2 AN GABE JONSON AN CARALION LIVIN IN PORTAL HIGH SCHOOL WHAT DO YOU GUYS THIN?
She actually did write that spinoff, by the way. I’ll put my MST of it up on this blog at some point.
Next chapter
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mmmm. tired because I’ve been up forever. but that’s good, because it means I woke up and didn’t blow off my responsibilities today! woot woot! that’s a win in my book. My alarm was set for 7, but my phone has been doing this weird thing where the alarm doesn’t go off for several minutes after when I set it for, and normally it’s a few minutes but today it was like 15 minutes, so I had to scramble to get out the door and make it to PT by 7:30. PT was fine, early, but fine, then I came back and tried to rest for like twenty minutes before walking to the train and going to therapy. I have this terrible habit of dreading therapy in my head leading up to it, but then it’s never actually bad and is generally good, but then the next time I still don’t want to go just as much lol. But today’s session was good, talked about school and family and breaking down how my whole stress about the job situation is really because I don't want to end up in a job where I’m unhappy, but I can’t know that until I start the job, so I may get a job I think I want and end up being miserable. good times! lol. from there I went to the other train line (and effortlessly flipped off the car that honked at me while I had the right of way crossing the street) and went to the DV courthouse. It was a pretty slow day, so I didn't actually get a case again, which was frustrating, but whatever. I took someone from the morning shift to court, and she legit already had her papers processed by the clerk’s office so I had to give her my abbreviated court talk on the way up to the third floor. We had a really good judge though, I can’t remember ever seeing him before but he’s this older guy and he was super to the point and no nonsense, and we walked out of there with the order in no time (if only they could all go like that). Went back downstairs and waited for a little while to see if a case would come in, trying to do some of my adoption law reading in the process, but after a while we closed up for the day. so since I’m supposed to get a certain amount of time in for the practicum, if the clinic closes early I’m supposed to go observe court, so that’s what I did. we got bounced around a bit trying to find a judge that was still up, but ended up in a courtroom and had to watch two unfortunate cases where the person legally did not at all qualify for the emergency order under the statute and the judge of course had to tell them that but you could tell they just didn’t get it and they were gonna walk away with the view that the system just doesn’t care about them, and like, that is such a frustrating feeling. We ended up talking to the judge for a bit afterwards, she was super chill and even expressed her frustration at cases like that where the cops or someone else will send someone to the courthouse to get an order when they don’t qualify at all, and then she has to be the bad guy and tell them no because she has to follow the law. Hung out some more and ended up getting two criminal OPs quickly, so the ASA questioned them and it’s a super smooth process. It was a little past 4 then which is when I’m supposed to stay till, so I headed out then and went to school. I ended up meeting my spring break friend (it’s been a year and a half since that spring break, but I like to use my nicknames for friends on here instead of actual names) at a bar a little down the block from school and got some food there before class, since I’m hardcore running out of food lol my fridge is practically empty and I ate the last of my frozen meal stockpile tonight so I had to outsource dinner. It was good getting to catch up with her. Went to adoption class, where OF FUCKING COURSE WE HAVE A QUIZ THE ONE WEEK I DIDN’T DO THE READING, thankfully it was open book at least so I could figure out some semblance of an answer to the questions rather than just completely fudging it which would’ve been a disaster. I had a minor chest pain incident a little after 7, it wasn’t very intense for a few minutes and then was intense for like 2 minutes, which is a lot shorter than normal, so that was good at least. It has me thinking it’s food related though, because I technically had fried stuff at the bar and that could’ve set it off, so I’ll have to watch that more closely. We got out at 8, I went home and found my roommate laid out on the couch watching a show. she fell down two stairs at her friend’s apartment the other day and sprained her ankle real badly, so she’s trying to take it easy. so I watched the show with her for a bit, then finished last night’s episode of the flash, and before I can even give you a reaction to the actual episode I have to tell you HOW FUCKING MAD I AM that they included that conversation where Barry was like “oh, maybe it was alright for him to plant evidence if he was just trying to help people, maybe I did the wrong thing by exposing his corruption” because ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????? I was so fucking pissed off. That kind of behavior, when the cop thinks “it doesn’t matter, because he’s guilty anyway” is exactly what leads to so many people being wrongfully convicted, and to even entertain the idea that corruption and framing people is okay if you’re just trying to help people is so morally appalling I was honestly shocked they actually had him say it. I get that most people don’t have such strong feelings on this issue as I do, but this isn’t shit to play with. Anyway. The rest of the episode was alright I guess. Ralph was fairly likable for someone we’re clearly not supposed to like, the plot was kind of thin, but I guess it’s good that he’ll be helping their team out now. The whole Breecher hunting Cisco plot was, I’m sorry, but FUCKING AWFUL, like why on earth would I want to watch that?? no, just no. so much wrong. sigh. anyway, I stayed up for a little while longer, then started getting ready for bed, and more or less here we are. Damn I’m tired, so I’m gonna go to sleep now. At least I can sleep in till like 10:15 tomorrow. Goodnight babes. Stay awesome.
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