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undead-supernova · 2 months

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I'll Pay the Price, You Won't.

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2

Masterlist

I came up with a little idea based off of Slut! by Taylor Swift and I'm never gonna stop being obsessed with it me thinks. I suppose it could be read as a one shot!

✨ If anyone wants to be on any tag list, just comment or send an ask hehe! ✨

plot: aquamarine, moonlit swimming pool...what if........all I need is you?

Pairings: modernrockstar!Eddie x bisexualfem!popstar!Reader (curvy!reader, bisexual!reader)

Warnings: slut shaming, body image insecurities, Eddie being too precious for this world, soft, comfort, reader is pretty girly and femme, so yeah

Easter Egg Count: 41

wc: 1.6k

“You know I want to be with you.”

“Oh yeah?” he said back, voice light and playful. His smirk was flooding his face, all well-intentioned and sugary sweet.

“Mhm.”

The pool water lapped around you while he laid on his stomach, black towel underneath his shirtless figure. His fingers fiddled with yours to keep pulling you close to the edge. As you looked up at him, illuminated by the hot pink neon glow from your inner tube, you couldn’t help but swoon like a teenage girl. His hair appeared nearly fuschia, darkened by the shadows of the night and the reflection of the porch light behind him.

With a smug yet playful smile, he let out a hum before asking, “And why’s that, sweetheart?”

“Maybe I have a crush on you,” you said softly.

That smile turned into a smirk, his thumb running over your knuckles. You nearly blended in with the water, your turquoise bikini matching the color exactly.

Usually, you wore a one piece to keep the world from commenting on whether your body looked good enough. It was hard enough to love your skin as it was—natural, textured. Stretch marks and cellulite. Scars from childhood mistakes. The exact opposite of whatever airbrushed magazine cover you or any of your peers were on, dolled up like plastic Barbies and whatnot.

But he had gotten you this bikini. Stood you in front of a mirror and traced the outline of your waist and your tummy, chuckling whenever you quivered from his touch. Whispered how gorgeous you were in your ear. Reminded you that no one else was around. You were safe.

(Even if his closest bodyguard, James, was standing outside his front door.)

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Mhm,” you mumbled, nodding.

“Had no idea,” he nearly whispered.

It felt right to be quiet. The hot California air had finally cooled for the night, the neighborhood surrounding Eddie’s house seemingly devoid of human existence. The Los Angeles skyline skimmed the horizon only when you chose to peek above his fence. The illusion of seclusion when you pretend this was a guarded castle.

“I know. I hid it so well.”

“Exceptionally. You’re a master of deception.”

“Mm, thank you.” The two of you chuckled softly before you tried to gently clear your throat. “So are you going to keep teasing me or are you going to tell me how you feel?”

His eyes searched yours, as if he was trying to find something but couldn’t quite remember what it was. “You already know what I want,” he said.

“Yeah, I do,” you lied, praying your insecurity wouldn’t bleed through. “Which is why I want to hear it out loud.”

Scooting closer to the edge of the pool, he began to kiss your hands.

“I.” Kiss. “Want.” Kiss. “To.” Kiss. “Be.” Kiss. “With.” Kiss. “You.”

You couldn’t help but smile. It felt like bliss, knowing that you weren’t the only one feeling this way. All the others were a jumbled mess of Maybe Later and Just Not Looking For A Serious Relationship Right Now. The girls wanted to play the field. The boys wanted something almost too casual. Those outside the gender binary would kiss and flirt at the bar and then ghost you on the dance floor.

But he…oh, he was something else entirely.

“Do we go out on a real date now?” you asked. “Or do we just skip to the sickly sweet, hot and raunchy sex?”

“‘Hot and raunchy’?” he questioned, laughing at your word choice.

You narrowed your eyes playfully. “Sorry, was I not sexy enough for you the first six times?”

“Never said that, darling.” The nickname had you nearly kicking your feet with schoolgirl affection. “And to answer your question, I think I should take you on at least one proper date before I blow your back out again.”

You couldn’t help but snort. “After three and a half months?”

“As if we were honest about being official until a few weeks ago.” You couldn’t disagree with him on that. “Besides, it’s better late than never.”

“What a gentleman.”

And he was.

Eddie Munson was nothing short of the nicest guy you’d ever liked. Maybe the nicest guy you’d ever met. He opened every door, from cars to hotels to bedrooms to the cages you'd thrown your heart into. When you left with him after your concert in Seattle, he sheltered you from the rain with his beloved leather jacket. He made you cum twice before he even dared to touch himself, worshiping your body like it was sculpted by the gods. Not to mention the homemade meals and the constant protection from the paparazzi whenever possible. He knew what the media had been doing to you. He hated it. Despised it.

And amidst it all, he still wanted you.

Even the mere thought of it still made you weep sometimes.

But Eddie’s smile began to falter. “What do you reckon the verdict will be when they see us?”

You knew what that forlorn smile meant. You knew what this was doing to him, but it felt like nothing compared to what the outside world thought. It had been done to Whitney. Amy. Rihanna. Britney. Miley. Lindsay. Megan. Lizzo. Taylor. Hell, even Olivia, Sabrina, and Billie were being given hell now that they were emerging into adulthood.

And now it was down to you. Another female popstar thrown to the goddamn wolves.

Before you could think about how pessimistic it sounded, you said, “I’ll be labeled a slut and you’ll be considered a king. The cycle will only continue.”

The media were vipers. Predators. They wanted to hunt you down with cameras and watch you and Eddie Munson do something obscene. Vulgar. Just as his reputation had forewarned. The lead of a metal band (god forbid), along with the residual damage of “devil worshipping music” despite it not being the fucking Eighties anymore. However, in their storybook you were just the right kind of girl for him to corrupt.

He did anything but that.

“I don’t want it to be like that,” Eddie whispered, his eyes shining with the threat of tears. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I do.” You shook your head, trying to clear all of the voices and camera flashes out of your head. “I don’t know. I just don’t want this to blow up in our faces.”

At first, the label was furious.

You were a cutesy role model for a demographic that you were not originally catering to. But the magnetic pull of a synthesizer flowed through you with the frizz of the vocoder and the glitter and the bright colors and advocacy and passion and the people—

You were helping people. Especially the teenage girls. You were giving hope and guidance to them. Reminding them that they could achieve dreams far beyond their wildest dreams. Even if they were queer. Even if they weren’t thin.

You were becoming an inspiration.

But after a while, you were seen as merely a PG-13 performer with all of the downfalls of being a woman, a popstar in her early twenties. Your life stopped being about you and started being about the narrative storyline of some fucking fairytale that you had no ability to write yourself, even if it was written in every song you released.

It was sick enough knowing that people who didn’t know you would write books about you some day.

But then you were seen at one of Corroded Coffin’s shows. Your music spiked on the charts despite the bizarre outrage at how different you were. The demographic your label originally wanted began to seep back in all in a matter of a few weeks. Back before you asked him about his feelings. Back before your confessions were frozen in the steam between you.

After that, the label wanted you and Eddie to play it up for the cameras. Stir up attention. Enjoy the ride, write the music, and then profit from the gossip columns and clout. Get more followers, more likes. Be endorsed by another fragrance subscription service or wireless headphones.

Make them money. Risk your heart in the meantime.

It was a gamble, but why wouldn’t someone bet on a losing dog?

“Favorite Beatles song right now?” he asked, drawing your attention away from the world outside.

You grinned. “‘A Taste of Honey’.”

“Ah, from Please Please Me." You nodded. "Sometimes I forget how good their first album was.”

“You know, it’s incredible to me that you know their entire discography and yet I’ve never once heard you listening to them,” you observed.

Eddie winked at you, opening his mouth to say something but was interrupted by the meow of a cat. Both of you turned your heads to see his black cat, Oz, pawing at the back door.

“Someone wants a treat, the spoiled bastard. At least Puppet has manners," Eddie said with a sigh before looking back at you. "Why don’t you come back in with me, hm?” he asked, lightly stroking your cheek. "Throw a movie on and cuddle or something?”

“Can we?” you pleaded. “Please?”

“Anything for you, sweetheart. Anything.”

He helped you out of the pool, grabbing a towel and drying you off. He finished up with a gentle kiss to your forehead, the inner tube left forgotten and floating in the water.

“Hey, Eddie?”

His eyebrows knit together. “Yeah? What’s up?”

You could only wonder what it would be like if this didn’t end up in some fit of flames along the length of your graves. Caskets lying side-by-side, big fat crosses sitting on top like a pointed threat. His headstone littered with roses while yours drowned in spray paint. Eulogies and hymns crescendoing into a wave of madness as they repeated your fears back to you: Nothing lasts forever.

Or maybe you’d end up in a small house somewhere, making music together while you drowned out the rest of the world. One day where the chatter would flutter into a whisper and you could walk down the street of some coastal town and not get ogled at. The stars would align and you could say to yourself, It was worth it.

But it was only August, nearly swallowing you whole with the heat threatening to scorch your skin. Maybe yours more than his, but nevertheless there were going to be scars—

You knew to love him was to lose your mind.

And maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

“For once, I think…” A smile met your lips. “Well, maybe it’s worth it.”

#Eddie munson #Eddie Munson x reader #Eddie Munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson angst #also all my readers are bisexual femmes because I said so !!!!#modern!eddie munson #modern!eddie x reader #Eddie Munson x female reader #boyfriend!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie x reader #rockstar!Eddie x popstar!reader

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blixssily · 9 months

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yaaaay ∑d(°∀°d) will look out for those, can't wait!!! if its okay, can i request for jingyuan fic/hc where he remains in luofu while his s/o is a nameless on the astral express travelling the universe, and finally reunite with jingyuan after ○○○ years when the train stops by luofu again? (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

happy writing, remember to take breaks and drink/eat well ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ

"it's hard to be anywhere these days when all i want is you."

| you leave your lover behind to travel the world, one day you decide to finally come back to him.

| jing yuan x reader

˓ ꒱ notes and disclaimers: bad attempt at somewhat angst, reader is gender neutral, probably ooc.

˓ ꒱ authors notes: thank you so much for this request!! i'm so sorry if this isn't what you were picturing for jing yuan as i'm not too well versed in his character but i'll try my best!!

he tried to be supportive about your decision to stay on the astral express despite his many offerings for you to remain in xianzhou luofu. there's not a day that goes by that he doesn't think about you. the bed that couldn't barely fit the both of you (he insisted that it made it easier to hold you) now seemed like too much space for him. the side of the bed that you claimed as yours is now as cold as the midnight breeze. he shivers as he recalls the way you'd snake your arms around his neck, keeping him warm.

you two had almost gotten into an argument actually. when you announced that you weren't going to stay in xianzhou luofu with him. he just didn't want to be left alone again, he didn't want his afternoons to just be filled with paper work, he didn't want his home to be dead silent whenever he'd creak the door open. he didn't want the bed to be cold when he knew it wasn't meant to be.

he didn't want you gone.

he eventually came around and apologised to you though. "i'm sorry for what i've said before. if this would really make you happy, they by all means go for it. just come back to visit me once in a while okay?" he smiles, you can tell that smile is ridden with sadness, ridden with forced acceptance. "i promise." he feels your soft lips against his. it's at this moment that he realises just how weak you've made him. he'd give the whole world to you if you just asked.

he moment he bids you off on your journey he's so tempted to just leave his entire life in xianzhou luofu behind to be with you. wherever it may be, he just wanted to be surrounded by your warmth.

he stands there for a moment, almost as if the ground below him had shackled his ankles to the ground in a sick twisted way of forcing him to see you leave him. he felt so wrong walking away from the entrance of xianzhou luofu (?)

he's dreading having to open up the door to your once shared house, now devoid of all light. all your stuff is gone, albeit a few shirts and little pendants you bought were still lying around. it made it seem like you had passed on, and god he did not want to think of that.

he can't even focus on his job as the general anymore, he thinks he should be able to finish the bare minimum tasks like before he met you but now it feels like he can't even pick up his pen. the pen being one that you had bought him.

he honestly couldn't function well without you, he thinks it's pathetic how he's reduced to what he is now when the only thing that wasn't there was you. you two still kept in touch through your phones but it just wasn't the same. he'd call you every night, sometimes you wouldn't pick up because you were either already asleep or you were busy with something.

he thinks he's never felt more alone in his life.

it's been months, time seemed to pass by slower when you weren't by his side. the snacks he once bought you to try because he knew you'd be home to enjoy them, now never enter through his front door. it was supposed to be a normal day for him, fill out some paperwork, play chess with yanqing during his break, go home a little earlier than yesterday and just rest.

you didn't tell him this during your call last night but the astral express was visiting xianzhou luofu for awhile, the reason was unclear to you but you didn't care. you wanted to surprise your boyfriend! you still remembered his timings for when he goes home and he mentioned that he'll be back home a little earlier since he's been feeling tired lately so it was perfect!

you decide to go back to your shared home to wait for him, not before buying some ingredients to cook him dinner, which he probably hasn't done for himself in a while.

on the other hand, jing yuan gets a little startled when he realises that he lights in his house are on. he thinks hes being robbed but then again who else would be that stupid to rob the general or xianzhou luofu? when he's at the door he can smell the familiar scent of his favourite dish. his mind flashes to you but you didn't tell him you were coming back?

"welcome back! i wasn't sure what to do while i was waiting for you so i made you this." he honestly can't believe the sight that's in front of him right now. he never thought he'd hear your warm welcome so soon even though it's been months.

you walk up towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck. "i missed you." you whisper into his neck. his arms immediately find purchase on your waist, pulling you closer to him. "i've missed you too my dear." he nuzzles into your hair, taking in the scent that's almost left his, no, your shared home.

"why didn't you tell me you were coming back?" he pulls away slightly to face you, god he's missed you. "i wanted it to be a surprise." you smile, shreds of guilt showing in your eyes for leaving him for so long. "let's eat, i'll tell you all about my adventures." you tug his wrist, the food already being set on the dining table.

moonlight pours through the windows to your bedroom, jing yuan's arms are wrapped tightly around your frame. you're nuzzled into his chest, his chin resting on the top of your head. your hands are tangled in his silver locks, occasionally giving his head a little massage.

"please don't ever leave me." your hands still at the sound of his voice. you're barely able to hear it, voice betraying his role as a general.

"i won't, i promise." you tighten your arms around him, pulling him impossibly closer to you. you look up at him to place a kiss on his lips. "get some sleep, i'll be here when the sun rises." you whisper as you snuggle back into his chest, relaxing your arms.

"i love you."

"i love you too."

notes and reblogs are heavily appreciated !!

#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #jing yuan x reader #hsr jing yuan x reader #jingyuan x reader

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girderednerve · 1 year

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well i'm upset about book bans & i work in a library & can't shut up y'all're welcome

book bans & challenges (which is the technical term for when someone asks us to pull a book; it doesn't mean that the book is removed) have been an issue in american libraries for basically as long as there have been libraries, although there was a massive spike starting in ~2021 as the far-right seized on libraries as a new front for the culture wars. as a result there are some very established ways of handling & talking about book bans in the library field

these include the 'right to read'/'intellectual freedom' as articulated in the library bill of rights, which was first adopted by the american library association in 1939. it basically says that libraries believe that all patrons have the right to access information that interests them, irrespective of its content. the thinking at the time was that libraries should take a neutral course and not police the content they provide to patrons; as far as i know, this point at the time was more directed at fiction than nonfiction. (one of the other things that has been happening more, at least at my library, is that we're accused of having an unbalanced collection & suppressing conservative viewpoints if we decline to buy, e.g., anti-vaxxer screeds that contain rank misinformation; i don't think that was as much of an issue back in the day but i may be completely wrong.) in practice, this approach means that we make no comment whatsoever on what content is banned or why; if you look at a banned books week display, it will often include books like huckleberry finn ("challenged" when one parent of color asked to have it replaced with another book on their child's required reading list; not a literal example) alongside gender queer (target of a nationwide transphobic astroturfing campaign; literal example). things may be different elsewhere, but that's my experience of how libraries traditionally respond to book bans, i.e., they neglect the content, character, & effectiveness of 'bans' in order to talk more neutrally (&, in my view, ineffectually) about censorship as a negative social pattern devoid of any context. frustrating! we also never include prison book bans, although these are absolutely fucking dire.

the other major way we talk about book bans is via a set of talking points which were established by the late 90s, and possibly earlier. most challenges center on materials for children and young adults. the recommended language in reaction to a parent who objects to a book is to say something like "the library provides a wide range of materials for all different kinds of families, as we try to serve our whole community. we leave it to parents to decide which items their children should check out. parents have the ultimate responsibility for what their children read, and we support their right to make those decisions." you're also supposed to apologize for their negative experience, etc., and try to let them vent to you without agreeing or promising them anything. if they're really mad, at this point you refer them to whatever your library's reconsideration process is, usually some kind of offical-looking form where the patron has to write in their name, contact information, the title of the book, and the reason they object to it; most of them also ask the patron whether they've actually reviewed the whole thing in full. many people drop the matter at this point (fewer now that they've been handed canned scripts by m*ms for l/berty!). not entirely sure how it works at school libraries, but probably similar.

my problems with this general approach are that a) obviously it isn't going to appease someone whose objections are grounded in the belief that LGBTQ people shouldn't exist or whatever and b) i actually do not believe at all that parents should get to decide what books their kids check out of the library. sorry! i get it when your kid is really little and needs help finding & reading books in the first place, but by the time they're old enough to visit the library by themselves (so, for us, say 10 or so) they're old enough to have their own interests & information needs irrespective of their parents' opinions. i imagine that this is very uncomfortable for parents & i am capable of experiencing sympathy but also, i have met plenty of kids who are in weirdo homeschool groups & do not know anything about their own fucking bodies, much less what a happy gay life might look like. i get that this rhetoric is meant primarily to be placatory, but i think it matters what we say & what we believe beyond the customer service script. maybe other libraries have more robust discussions about ethics in youth services (my library system seems bent on ignoring that youth services requires anything other than storytime & the occasional cute craft for the under-10s).

anyway i keep making myself absolutely fucking miserable thinking about all the kids in the world (many!!!!) whose entire idea of what sexuality & romantic relationships look like are built on what their parents & the people who go to their church do, & how vulnerable that leaves them, how hopeless it must feel. i knew about gay people but i didn't feel like i knew myself, that i could live as myself, until i found out i was gay. i hate to think that a child is toiling away under the crushing weight that i used to feel, thinking that they have to grow up & marry a man who drinks too much & makes them afraid, or a woman who will never understand them, or otherwise live totally alienated from who they are, & are kept from even the glimmer of another life. it feels so openly abusive, so obviously intended to control & victimize. 'you can't choose another life because i won't even let you see the idea of one.' and what, i'm supposed to tell that patron that i believe they're right, their children belong to them? i can't do it, man. can't do it. kids can read whatever they want & if something makes them uncomfortable they can stop reading & talk to their peers or a trusted adult about it. a library book is plausibly the safest way to come across content that makes you uncomfortable as a kid. the risks are so fucking low & the benefits (in terms of understanding yourself & the world, having a safe, recreational retreat, getting to practice intellectual agency, etc.) are so, so high. i'd rather pitch my tent there than try to make some kind of mealy-mouthed compromise

the other part of this, obviously, is that the freaky fash aren't actually arguing about library books so much as they're making a loud argument about public space. libraries' physical collections provide vital access to lower-income people & children, but more people than ever have smartphones & are perfectly capable of reading whatever they want on the internet. there's no reason whatsoever for us to insist on taking all of these challenges at face value, it's a losing game.

anyway i'm upset & spinning my wheels about it. if you got down to this end of this please tell me a fond memory of using the library as a kid if you feel so inclined <3

#vocational awe diaries :')

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jasmines-library · 2 years

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Can I Request A Leia Organa x Fem Reader With Fluff Pls

Hello there! Of course you can, thank you for requesting! I was so excited to write this one! I hope you don't mind that I changed it to a gender neutral reader to make it more accessible.

Cold Comfort

Leia Organa x GN Reader

Summary: When Luke and Han fail to return during an outing on Hoth, Leia turns to her favourite person for comfort.

Warnings: None really, lots of fluff and shitty writing. Angst if you squint.

Word count: 400 (I know it's short, i'm sorry)

Note: This is my first fic that i've actually been confident enough to release and i'm pretty proud of it so I hope you enjoy. I just wanted to apologise if my grammar and punctuation are entirely rubbish i'm still trying to work on it. I would really appreciate some feedback so if you have any that would be great! I'll stop rambling on now...enjoy :)

The sun had long set by the time you heard the metallic hiss of the door opening. You had been staying with the Rebel Alliance on Hoth for the last few days while they were laying low after fleeing from the Imperials. It was an ideal planet: devoid of human life and located in the outer rim but it was lonely. And cold. Despite the supposed lack of life, it was important that the alliance knew for sure that there was no one else on the planet so they sent out patrols. It was a standard procedure, but the unpredictable weather on the ice planet made it nearly impossible to keep track of markers and how far you were straying from the base. As the sun drops, so does the temperature and anyone left out there has a very slim chance of survival. Luke and Han were out there.

Leia stood at the door, her hair falling past her waist in thick waves, a contrast from her usual buns. Her eyes were tired and looked as though they belonged to someone who had spent endless hours without sleep. Her lips however, despite the bags under her eyes, were lifted softly into a smile as her gaze drifted over to you. You grinned gently at her as she made her way over to you. Her lips pressed against yours as you embraced her in your arms.

"Any news?"

She shook her head, eyes coming to meet yours, "No. They're sending out a search party when the sun rises again. The storm's too dangerous to send anyone else out in,"

Her eyes brimmed with tears and you pulled her closer to you, wrapping your arms around her waist. She rested her head in the crook of your neck. You knew she cared deeply for her friends and that the possibility of never seeing them again was frightening for her. It was frightening for you.

"They'll be okay," You hummed softly to her, "I know they will,"

She said nothing just wrapped her arms closely around you as you placed your head on top of hers comfortingly. For a while you both just stood there, holding each other close as the blistering storm on Hoth raged on outside. For a while, with your eyes closed it was just the two of you. No snow, no Imperials, just you.

"I love you" you whispered.

"I know."

#leia organa #leia organa x reader #gender neutral reader #star wars #star wars fanfic #star wars x reader #hoth #esb #empire strikes back #fluff #angst #feedback

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