I still need practice, but digital coloring is getting a little easier 💕

CareBears-sona.

He has literally one braincell and he has never used it a day in his life.

.

sorry this is like unrelated to anything else but personality disorders are like. the absolute worst thing in the world to go thru. (it’s hyperbole don’t crucify me pls.) like yknow that feeling you get that, there’s something wrong with you, that you just can’t connect with people like everyone else does, that there’s something in you that makes you difficult and mean and hard to get along with, let alone love? people get these feelings from time to time, you have to assume at least based on your own experience and what you see other people saying. and the response from others is usually, “oh well it’s just all in your head! no one actually thinks that of you, you’re just being silly!” and so you can console yourself. you’re not alone in this, this is normal. and then you get diagnosed with a personality disorder. and actually, as it turns out, most people don’t feel this way, only a very small percentage of the population feels the way you do, and guess what? everyone does actually think those people (those people who now include you) suck. almost everyone does think that you (and those like you) are a horrible person, that there’s something wrong with you, that you’re toxic, that not only are you unloveable, but you are - in fact - undeserving of love. it’s literally a personality disorder, your personality, who you are, is defective. congrats on your diagnosis, there is no cure you are stuck like this for life. because of your diagnosis people will either invalidate your feelings, or just distance themselves from you, and there’s nothing you can do about it because if you express your emotions you will be called toxic and manipulative and there is absolutely nothing you can do that will make that not the case. congrats on your fucking diagnosis.

Before pride month ends, I want marginalized people to know pride is for them. If you are disabled/medically vulnerable/still isolating, a POC, fat, closeted, asexual/aromantic, in a straight-passing relationship, a straight trans person, you don’t pass, or you don’t feel queer enough — you are an integral part of pride and I love you.

Why don't Delta and Mariza find Heather after the reunion and now and tear off her head? Like they never wanted to take revenge or at least stop Heather? Okay, at first they were running away, but then why didn't they ever come back to finish off the mermaid hunter? It didn't occur to them that firstly the mermaids would suffer while Heather was alive and secondly that this madwoman could strike at them again, only having prepared in advance. it's just kind of strange that the same Mariza, after reuniting with Delta, did not come to Heather and did not send her to the hospital for a couple of months.

We haven’t gotten there yet

always get so pleasantly surprised when people really like my stuff i post :) love you all. whether you celebrate something or not around this time i wish you all the best <3

brain is in The Pit tm have a snail

downside to making it clear to tiktok that i want to see clary videos. now they give me tsc FANDOM videos. ew. gross. did i ask for that no i did not. show me clary edits only please come on. you can get a little crazy and throw in an alec edit if you want but that’s where i draw the line fr. anyway. just saw a HATER video about how the first three tmi books are sooo bad and we Hate them and the rest are sooo much better. shut upppp you people cannot fall back on the defense that you think incest is gross forever. cassie also wrote into those books that incest was gross. there was a whole narrative about it that was like the entire dynamic between clary and sebastian idk how we missed that incest was bad from those books. i KNOW people just cannot deal with the clace fake sibling thing but like those books are nearing 20 years old we have to get over it at some point. yeah that was weird. but you know why cassie did it? because nearly 20 years later you bitches are still talking about it. cassandra is an attention seeker that is the only reason clary and jace were fake siblings. we have to move on culturally at some point though. we’ve acknowledged it. let’s keep moving i’m tired i’m over it how are you not over it. as if the first 3 tmi books aren’t objectively cassie’s best most coherent plot she’s ever written. the books are not BAD you are just a HATER because you fell for a massachusetts woman’s BAIT. move ON.

Newsies au where mike and ike hate each other. And not in a brotherly manner but in a gut wrenching enemies sort of hate.

Imagine a dystopian world where there’s a war raging on and the newsies are in the middle of it. What once was a striving united land is now devided into several factions who are on a civil war with each other. There’s even a rebel faction that wants to put the war to an end instead of having one faction win and letting their leaders’ authority reign, bcs in all honesty each faction acts like a shitty political party that desires nothing but control over the whole land.

Mike and Ike started out with the same political alignment—actually aiding the war by becoming agents, spies, or assasins, idk i haven’t figured that part out yet— but something along the lines happened and Mike defected because he no longer believed in the cause of the political party he’s been supporting for so long. It really tore Ike’s heart apart to see his brother leaving. He felt abandoned by his own brother and grew to hate his guts. They’d be sent to the field and sometimes come across each other and Ike never hesitated to try and kill him first though deep down he never want to hurt his own brother.

But get this: the cause that Ike once believed in turned out to be just a guise. The faction is just another greedy political party. And Ike is left confused. He’s been brainwashed by propaganda and doesn’t know what to believe in anymore. Where else would he turn to if not his own brother who’s been waiting for him since the day he left to join the rebellion.

bit of a vent don’t mind me im just. tired.

lol but my relationship with my mom is funny bc on one hand yeah i love her and she loves me and nothings really all that bad but on the other hand,,kind sucks that i’m never really gonna fit her idea of her “ideal heterosexual cisgender jesus-loving daughter who gets married to a nice christian man and gives her grandkids” and she’s never gonna give up on “leading me on the right path” (pressuring me and never respecting the decisions i’ve made for myself so i don’t want to. yknow fucking die) so i can get to heaven and be truly happy and blah blah blah all that.

like. i’m never going to be living my best life in her eyes. i don’t think i’ll ever be her child that she can proudly say “yes, my child lives a wonderful and happy life. i am proud of them.” i’m always going to need to “be saved from my life of sin” in her eyes. i’m like. never going to be happy in the way she wants me to be. there’s always gonna be something wrong with me. i’m always gonna be her good kid that’s just lost and confused and needs some guidance and correcting from the lord. guidance and correction as in i need to be shown that actually i’m not trans or aroace or agender or non binary or gay or part of the lgbtabcd community or whatever the fuck my identity becomes, that i’ve just been led into a life of sin and unhappiness and need to be saved.

like. yknow i’d appreciate. some acceptance. a little support would be nice…

and also not having an unbelievably overwhelming fear/anxiety of god and dying and armageddon and not having religious trauma would be pretty sweet too but i guess we can’t have everything in life :/

>:(

i wanna commission the ewskers for happy chemicals but also have no idea what i’d even commission. there’s like 15+ years of content with them i cannae do this

oooohhhh i should’ve gone to sleep when i had the chance

I’m just gonna head to bed early tonight, I just don’t have much energy or motivation right now and it’s finals week and then the last week of school next week, and then I’m flying by myself to Alaska to visit family after that so I’m just tired so might take a break this week so I can focus on school