#some ppl really dont grow up with the ideals of making sure you are leaving something for those after you huh like dont get me wrong
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blyke hcs?
RIGT OK SO
blyke is THE definition of catboy. im sorry if you dont want to hear it but he literally is. he is THE catboy
afab trans man demiboy
he/they pronouns or he/him depending on what i want him to use that day
bisexual
also has fangs, but unlike johns, his are more the kind that are meant to actually tear, rather than puncture. so basically, if he and john had a fight with solely their teeth for some reason, blyke would win
usually very scuffed up and has bandages or something of the sort on him because he gets in the middle of any fight he sees to try and stop it. even outside of school. doc doesnt hate him nearly as much as john but hes not that far
lots of freckles across his nose, shoulders, and ears
blushes super easily even the tips of his ears
his face just gets super red easily in general. when embarrassed, cold, angry, etc
he has braces!!! his teeth are really fucked
along with his fangs, he also has snaggleteeth. his fangs are behind those. like either on the other side of them to the back, or the snaggleteeth are literally growing on top/above of the fangs. not sure which i prefer
he also has two decently sized gaps (about the size of maybe like a toothpick and a 1/2?) between his snaggleteeth and the teeth next to them towards the front
and he has wider/longer than usual front teeth. i believe theres a name for it but i dont remember what its called and iirc it might have been used as an insult so im just not gonna look it up anyway
hes also insecure about his braces, dont bring them up to him. if he brings them up first its fine, but u cant do it first
peanut allergy
height is anywhere from 5'5 to 5'8 to me depending on the day
somewhere between masculine and androgynous for his personal image and the way he presents
wants top surgery, unsure about bottom surgery
currently wears binders (and sports bras for anything active)
anger issues
or maybe ied instead? (cus isnt rlly the same as "anger issues" because it's uncontrollable)
doesnt have a dad
his mom had him at 19 on her own, she told the dad who she had been dating at the time but he left her
her name is Meinya. sometimes her friends call her nya-nya
blyke was born as a twin
wow that sounds like the twin is dead, they are not
his twin's name is Blythe
shes also trans and its kind of funny bc they were originally born with eachothers names but then decided to swap them and take eachothers when they came out
btw this hc came about bc of this image
p much everyone in that image you can put a name to, except for the red haired girl sitting in front of remi
so. i decided she was blyke's sister
claustrophobic maybe?
definitely afraid of not living up to expectations
or being enough
afraid his friends will lose interest in him and leave him
very loyal
maybe hes like percy jackson and thats his fatal flaw
basketball shorts and basketball jerseys as daily wear
his red flag is that he's literally red /j
rbf
obviously muscular and has abs
TERRIBLE liar
and also just hates lying in general
it makes him feel icky
hes almost always honest and hates lying AND liars
so uh. yikes for isen. not that i think isen is trying to lie to blyke but sometimes he just Does it. hes so used to it
dyslexic
doesnt like reading for that reason
would play soccer, basketball, and/or baseball, also maybe volleyball
def nd but not officially diagnosed w anything
high pain tolerance
he honestly has very little sense of self and isnt really sure what kind of person he is
and also has immense trouble forming his own opinions or ideals, esp without being influenced by others
on that note hes also influenced very easily, esp by ppl he cares about
desperately wants validation from authority figures (and sometimes peers)
love love loves anime and manga and manwhas etc etc etc
prefers sub over dub solely bc its less likely to have translation errors
reads fanfiction and also writes it
fav genre is hurt/comfort
has two goku figurines that he saved up money for. currently saving up for a hatsune miku one.
entire room is FULL of anime posters. all walls, ceiling. door. everything
wants to go to a con some day
attracted to idiots and idiots EXCLUSIVELY
which is why being friends with BOTH remi and isen is a STRUGGLE
arlo has been the direct cause of both blykes phone screen cracking and his computer legit fucking snapping in half, and arlo felt bad both times so he fucking bought blyke a new phone and computer both of excellent quality
therefore blyke once called arlo his sugar daddy as a joke and arlo just about fucking collapsed and died right there
"arlo, grabbing blyke aggressively by the shoulders, practically frothing at the mouth: do not Ever. Call me That. Again"
"blyke, about to bust a lung: aye aye captain"
when he laughs he sounds like a squirt bottle
LOVESSS SPICY FOOD
listens to vocaloid music and plays rhythm games unironically
has a tumblr for his fandom stuff
#my posts#unordinary#webtoon unordinary#unordinary webtoon#webtoon#unordinary blyke#blyke unordinary#asks#headcanons
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hi! its the anon who sent you the message yesterday about being a poc and therefore understanding how much this situation sucks. (mentioned how you wrote my favorite fic too)
i think whats most baffling is a lot of people are taking this criticism of jojo as a personal attack almost. i dont know much about what she's done, since im very new here, but the fact that theres a pattern of not acknowledging what shes done wrong and sweeping stuff under the rug doesnt speak well of her as a person.
criticism is how people learn and grow, something that jojo seems to unfortunately not want to do. when you are creating something and you share it with other people, you ALWAYS have to try to be conscious about what you say and do, and how that will affect them. this applies to everyone from famous artists to fanfiction authors.
people have the right to be angry. people have the right to not want to accept her apology. everyone whos saying people are overreacting and they should log off don't realize that they themselves can also just log off and not see what people are saying.
jojo can also just log off, dissappear for a while, and post the next update like nothing happened because there will always be people who support her. jojo still has the support of people who are saying that people, systems, are dogpilling jojo and being dramatic. people will still continue to consume canon content and talk about LU.
sorry for the long ask again, just needed to get this off my chest. you don't have to answer it!
yeah. i know a lot of the ppl in the LU fandom are probably young and haven't yet learned about how horrible it is to attune yourself to a creator you look up to, and i'm trying to just stay in my corner and not engage with those people. but at the same time i think a lot of these folks are just grown adults who havent grown out of the toxic positivity mindset or the inability to look at what they like critically
and yeah, this weird line of logic where "well, she doesn't HAVE to share her art with us! we're not entitled to it!" is a very weird deflection. of course no one is entitled to content, but when you as an artist put that content out in the world you are opening it up to discussion. when you have an audience like jojo you have to consider the impact you are making as well. you can make whatever art you like, but you need to also consider what messages you're sending with it and how people will receive it. the ideal when you're making art is to make the world a better place, regardless of what kind of story you're telling.
it is REALLY strange how many people i have in my inbox right now acting like i am sitting here at my keyboard, shaking from anger and obsessing over the movements of some stranger who draws a zelda comic. i'm getting leveled all these accusations of leading some online army or attacking/harassing people and encouraging my followers do the same, its fucking bizarre. im literally just sitting here at my retail job eating a sandwich. when im done with the sandwich im gonna go stock product and think about franziska von karma kissing maya fey. like, this is. this is just a blog i run. i'm just a person speaking my mind. why would i interact with people who think i'm less than human? im blocking people silently and i'm answering asks from people seeking community and support.
but jojo's stans are sure fucking attacking me! i counted, i woke up this morning to almost twenty rude messages from people telling me to leave the LU fandom and calling me all manner of horrible things. i did not publish all of them because some of them were pretty vile but there's a small taste of the kind of people defending her rn.
you're absolutely right. jojo will quite literally always have people defending her, because at the end of the day some people care about their blorbos more than actual human people. she's seen her following, she knows that, and that's why she keeps sending out these nonapologies. and i'm gonna keep calling them what they are--absolute bullshit--until i've made enough noise that either she shapes up, or people in this community exhibit some more compassion for all the people she's hurt. that might look like obsession to her stans--probably them projecting--but right now it is 9 am and i am eating a sandwich at my retail job, and my break is over now so i'm gonna go daydream some franmaya.
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…And I won’t tell your name…
Do you have a name? Well of course you do! What is it?
Stephanie.
Do you like your name?
Sure.
Does it relate to you at all?
Uhh. I mean, it’s been my name for 30 years so I guess?
Do you know anyone with your name?
Yeah. I also used to know a few growing up, there was like 5 Stephanie’s in my class.
Are you named after anyone?
Apparently there was some cop show in the 80s with an actress named Stephanie that my parents watched. *shrug*
If you could change your name, it’d be:
I’ll keep mine.
…And you’re livin’ in a world that you’re best forgotten around here…
How would you describe yourself?
A depressed, sensitive, moody, awkward, shy, introverted, non-functioning, mess of a person.
How would others describe you?
Yikes. I don’t want to know.
When you die, what would you want to be remembered for?
I’d like to contribute something useful to this world in some way, but I’m just wasting away doing nothing. I haven’t made any impact.
Be honest; do you feel like a lot of people know the real you?
No.
What person in your life do you envy most?
Some of my family members.
…What you feel is what you are, and what you are is beautiful…
Are you confident with yourself?
Nope.
Is it easy for you to get a date?
* Its kind of hard, if not impossible, for me to get anything when I rarely ever leave the house :’) <<< Same. I don’t try or put myself out there in any way either. I’m also not attractive and I’m just a mess of a person. No one wants to date this.
What physical feature about yourself do you really like?
My hair when it’s been recently dyed and the color still looks nice and the roots aren’t showing. Definitely not what it looks like now...yikes.
How about dislike?
Everything.
When people tell you you’re attractive, do you usually believe them?
If they say I look nice or pretty or whatever I think they’re just being nice. It’s been a long time since anyone has said something like that. I’m an actual hot mess, soooo.
Do you mean it when you tell others they’re good-looking?
* Yeah. However, I dont often comment on anyone else’s appearance <<< Same, actually.
If you were an animal, what would you be?
A doggo.
What cologne/perfume do you wear most of the time:
None, currently.
What’s your hair like?
Trash. I’m finally getting it done next month, though. It’s been over a year since the last time.... :X
Describe your figure in 5 words only:
Thin, pale... that’s all I can think of.
Next time you look in the mirror, you’d write these words on the glass:
It wouldn’t be anything good.
…And I’ll become what you became to me…
Who do you look up to the most?
My mom and my younger brother.
What is that person like?
They’re the complete opposite of me. They’re outgoing, funny, intelligent, hardworking, driven, strong...people gravitate to them and want to be their friend. My brother is going to do big things with his life, I just know it.
What are they in relation to you (friend, mom, dad, sibling, date, etc…)
I already answered that.
Do you think you could answer almost any question about them correctly?
I think so.
Okay then…what’s their favorite color?
My mom’s is purple and red and my brother’s is teal or aquamarine.
What’s their greatest talent?
They’re both great cooks.
What do you have in common with them?
Some TV shows, movies, music, our love of the beach, etc.
What’s something you totally disagree on?
Hmm.
How long have you known him/her? (if you do know them)
I’ve known my mom for 30 years (all my life) and my brother for 20.
Do you have a significant other?
No.
What about a secret crush?
No.
What’s their name (or first initial)?
What’s their best physical feature?
Best personality trait they have?
If there’s isn’t a “special someone”, what’s your ideal “special someone”?
Someone patient, understanding, kind, caring, loving, loyal, etc with a good sense of humor. Someone I can be myself/feel comfortable with. Someone I can binge watch shows, play board games, and be silly with. Someone who just gets me, ya know?
What attracts you to somebody?
Initially, it’s physical attraction. A good personality as well. I’ve also developed feelings for some people who I wasn’t initially physically attracted to that became attractive to me if that makes sense. Sometimes, too, you just vibe with some people and just have that connection. There’s a lot of factors.
What’s a name you like for someone to have?
I don’t care what name they have lol wth. That would be weird. Like, sorry, I’m only attracted to guys named Alexander.
Do you feel comfortable around the gender you’re interested in?
If I like them then I feel nervous around them. Like, the good, butterflies in your stomach type feeling.
Who’s one person that you wish you had a relationship like?
There’s this YouTuber/ASMRtist that I watch named Gibi and she and her husband are major couple goals. I want the kind of relationship they have, it’s a lot like what I described.
…Gonna let it slide…
Did you like this survey?
Sure. I dig the Goo Goo Dolls lyrics, too.
What question was hardest to answer? Easiest?
* I didnt rlly find any of the questions to be too hard to answer, but maybe questions abt my personality or how other ppl viewed me, or when u asked me to describe the ppl I look up to. As far as the easiest…my name, ahah :’) <<< Sameee.
Are you good with music?
What do you mean?
All of the labels were from lyrics to song by one band. Which band was it?
I already said, but the Goo Goo Dolls.
Do you like that band? What’s your favorite song by them?
“Name”, “Iris”, “Better Days”, and “Slide.”
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4/15/21
I’ve been read Dr. Joe Despenza’s becoming supernatural. and he is talking about making mind movies. which i might do! Right now, however, I will write them out in a detailed fashion to help me envision my future. He also suggest making several for the different areas in your life. I agree that this would be super helpful! I want to make one for my career, my home/environment i exist in, my love life, and my health journey. I will start with my love life because it’s the one that so easily consumes my thoughts so i want to knock it out first. so it doesn’t distract me as a i move through the others. I may come back and add detail later. or rather i should. well we’ll see how this practice goes....
1. LOVE
I deeply sighed before writing this because I’m not so sure. If that makes any sense. Like I’m unsure of what I want my love life to look like because I don’t fully trust myself with love. Which sucks. I’ve just gone down too many rabbit holes and its funny because in my head I always say “waste my fuckin time” in that funny voice. but what it really is is me wasting my OWN fucking time because I don’t feel like I have the self control to stop myself from being with men or from discerning which ones are worth my time. I think back to Collin Thiex from less than a year ago and I laugh. Same with Cooper Johnson. Two boys that were so clearly wrong for me and yet at some point I was swept up in them. Maybe it’s because I have met Chase and Tyler and they’ve raised my standards for men. They make me believe that better men, men more meant for me are out there because I’m done wasting my energy. The saddest part is that I keep thinking.. what if I’m wrong about Tyler? What if its just another one of those honeymoon illusions where I think the guy is great in the beginning and then he ends up “waste my fuckin time?” I dont know. I don’t know if I believe in marriage. I’ve just seen too much divorce. Too much shift in people’s lives and maybe I’m too selfish to work with someone like that. You need to value the relationship SO much to prioritize it and make it work. I want to think that I could end up married to someone who challenges me in the best ways. Who encourages me to be my best self and helps me do so. I run a pretty tight ship. I like to be on my routine. On my game. I don’t like to drink or smoke or do anything that feels unproductive. I think Tyler drinks more than I do. Or I know he does. I dont think I want that to be a big part of my life. I do fitness. I dont have room for a hangover. There is just no space for it. Tyler is so amazing in so many ways but I’m just NOT SURE. and i know i dont have to be. but it sucks not to be because your brain is constantly searching for answers. its like im getting closer and closer to that person. and i love chase. chase is me. chase and i are the same. and like FUCK because he’s just so out there. I feel like my husband is an aubrey marcus type. idk. maybe it is tyler?! i know he cares about being healthy. i just OIJAOSIJDOADJIASOPJD. im so young. when i envision my love life in the future. i see white. i see nothing. i have no expectation. which is good. i think for love thats all i need. wow it took me all of this goo to come to this conclusion. my love life is a blank slate. i dont have any ideals here. Other than our interactions building me up to have more energy rather than sucking my energy away. i dont know about marriage. i dont know about a relationship. i just take that shit day by day because to have this fairytale planned out is just unrealistic. I meet so many men. I love men. I love them. I just dont know if one really fits into my life. like SUPER well. this is just me treading lightly because of what ive been through. i need to accept that this one doesn’t have an answer and move on lol.
2. CAREER/MONEY
All I want is a job that can sustain me without too many frills. I want one that can sustain my basic habits. My grocery bill, car insurance, random nights out with friends. Where I can save up for a flight home. I want to know all aspects of my finance. I want to have it as nailed down as the meal plan I’m going to have. I want to track where everything is going. I want to have it on lock so that when I do go astray I know I have the space for it. Let’s say I spend $2000/month. I want to save for retirement, save for plane tickets to visit ppl, save for trips. I want to look closely at everything I’m doing. So I want a career in fitness that can sustain that. I acknowledge that right now I’m at the bottom of my industry working to gain more experience and that I will move up. Right now is a grind, but I will never stop looking for ways to move up. I will make it. I will make it in 2021 to a high position. I will be running something. I will consolidate. I will begin to HONE IN. To get more specific. I envision myself walking into VASA. I really do. VASA in Willow Creek. I envision the group classes being more popular than ever. I envision everyone in a myzone. I envision helping new instructors. I envision ALL OF IT. I know I would be great at this job. I know that THIS IS THE JOB. I know it. I know it. The energy I’ve already produced there. It’s been incredible and its where i want to grow my career. I know I’m the best person for the job. I’m no longer wish washy. I know I am. I feel ready to take it on. I feel ready at this point in my life. I’m just READY. I want to pull into that parking lot and look at that building and think this is my home. I care about this place. Despite any criticism anyone else has... this is my place. I am determined to make it a success. Chris wont know what hit him. and I think he’s super sweet. He is someone I would want to learn under. This next interview with Lori will be the best interview I’ve ever had because it is something I love and care about so deeply. They will. have no choice but to give me this job.
3. HEALTH/WELLNESS
I am on my way hunny!!!!! This is finally exciting for me to write about haha. I really want to shoutout Chase here. This nutrition plan is giving me LIFE. I can already see myself running those full marathons. LIFTING WEIGHTS. Teaching cycle and yoga and all of the things and absolutely thriving. Following an exact nutrition plan that I have nailed down to the point where I can seasonally switch things out?! ?!!?!? what?! Taking the supplements. Becoming more specific with my goals and absolutely crushing the fitness game. This week has been busy but I’ve been handling it so well because ive been sleeping and eating right! It’s like my classes aren’t overwhelming and I’ve even been working out on my own??? I’ve done some long runs. I’m proud of myself. I know I’m goin places and I’m slowly leaving Mara at the door more and more.
4. HOME
Always CO. I think the only thing I would consider like I’ve always talked about is moving closer to the mountains but nature is such a priority for me. The mountains truly hold a lot for me. They carry things I can’t carry. They hold them for me. I love their energy. I dont want to get too attached because like Ram Dass says if you’re doing your work New York City and a Himalayan cave feel the same. So I just want somewhere cozy to exist. Where I can keep my snacks and get my beauty rest. Somewhere to feel rooted. I feel like I’ve got my roots dug pretty deep here :)
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20 questions tag!
hey!! i just got tagged by @palraiyuk for this thing! i’m too anxious to tag ppl but if you are a friend/mutual/follower reading this and want to do it then you can just pretend like i tagged you asdjkgbaskljgbakjsnf
1.) nickname: god i love nicknames literally call me anything
main- Vulture-Vomit, VV, Sticky
additional- V, V-Vivvle, Venedict Viesel, Adhesive, Pancake/Pancakes, Glutecrepes, Stick, Sticktail, Stickers, Kiwi, Nutty, Nuttycake, Cryptid, Mimmikyu
2.) height: 5′2″, my little brother recently grew an inch taller than me and its a thing
3.) favorite school subject: besides my major (Visual Art), I would say i’m also fond of English! love to WRITE!!
4.) something i want to learn: MORE LANGUAGES fuck man im so seriously impressed by ppl who know 2 or more languages ive tried but im just not the best at budgeting the time for it (ive been stuck trying to learn spanish for a while, but i think i would also like to learn ASL and maybe japanese? idk if i ever get good at it maybe ill end up learning a whole bunch)
5.) favorite quote: do no harm, take no shit
also like anything from snapcube or snubdub bc theyre funny and cute and make me smile!!
6.) favorite food: yeah
im kind of a garbage disposal when it comes to good food like im not picky theres not a lot of stuff i DONT like- but im very partial to sweet or satly things like favorites are probably noodly stuff like beef lo mein and ramen, fruit like kiwi, watermelon, peaches, pineapple...... yes
7.) favorite place: idk anymore tbh a lot of the places i liked have been destroyed or altered in ways i cant rly enjoy... still love the old mulberry tree in my backyard i guess! and i’d love to go back to king’s island or holiday world some day: alternative answer- around ppl i love, doesn’t matter where!!
8.) what cant i leave the house without?: phone, glasses
in ideal situations i will also have: a hat, my wallet/ID, a water bottle, a phone charger (my portable charger if im REALLY on top of things), menstruation necessities, pens/pencils, a sketchbook and/or notebook, a flash drive, chest binder (and backup sports bra for binder breaks), i would say charms/accessories friends have given me but i usually overwear them and end up losing them fadskjlgbasdkjgb
also a boxcutter but i lost my boxcutter and probably should at least get some scissors or something
im kind of a mess sometimes so doesn’t always end up happening
9.) last song i listened to: denial and greed from cat’s cradle (the whole album really)
10.) identity: agender polyamorous bisexual im the them
11.) eye color: blue
12.) hair color: naturally? brown; right now it either needs to get bleached or shaved or both bc its been growing back to how i looked in high school faksdhgksajgn
13.) something i collect: pokemon plush and cards, literally any non-food a friend gives me
14.) favorite movie: god there’s just so many movies i love uhhhhh anything with rly good animation like pom poko, the last unicorn, coraline are definitely up there ALSO POKEMON MOVIES THE ENTEI MOVIE IS SO HJECKInG GOOD
15.) favorite song: don’t really have one but i rly love 4lung’s stuff; alternative answer: any song that’s ever been made into a warrior cats AMV BONES SHATTER FALL APART AND HIT THE FLOOR-
16.) favorite book: stupid fcukngi warrior cats
if we’re counting webcomics/visual novels then also put ShootAround by suspu and Butterfly Soup by Brianna Lei out there!
17.) zodiac: birthday is September 29th, 1997 so im a Libra! my chinese zodiac is the ox
i mean i read homestuck but i dont know the differences of like rising sun/moon or whatever else fdsahglaskj
18.) languages i know: fluent english, fragments of spanish and asl but not enough to be confident to speak it
19.) full name: i dont fuckin know man
rn i guess its Vulture Vomit Oakley but ive been toying around with something like Voltaire like idk i like Voltaire but im not sure if im doing that bc i want it or bc i feel like i need to be professional or what i wish i could just like not have a name sometimes aksgdskgj
20.) tattoos/piercings?: someday maybe...... i have my ears pierced but it would be cool to have a tattoo and maybe some more ear stud things!
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deep down inside i know that if my intentions are pure, God will know and do what is best for the outcome. ytd A told me that he felt lost and that he is not sure how to find his way back. he thinks i havent noticed it before but i knew that he was facing some troubles of his own that he didn’t know how to solve them and sort himself out.
he told me that I do not understand him after all this time and tbh it did hurt me quite abit. I did not express it but deep down inside I feel sad that 1) he is the person closest to me and vice versa yet i still dont know how to comfort him when he is down and 2) he fail to notice that i am trying over here as well but it is not enough and not good enough.
i guess both of us are experiencing some burnout at work. it has been a long time since we both travelled out of this island and i always feel like a trip will do both of us some good. of course ideally the store will close for a few days so that we both can totally get our minds off work and at the same time part of me is concerned whether the new staff can handle it by themselves. I mean, if I were in their shoes, I would feel a tinge of uncertainty and idk... im really bad at understanding people sometimes i guess. i always thought i can understand ppl’s emotions fairly well until A kept saying otherwise and now I doubt myself :(
personal emotions aside, i hope to make greater changes in my personal life and work life. ive been saying that for a really long time and it is not helping to just think and feel and NOT DO. from now onwards, i need to get my FOCUS back and stop being such a lazy sleeping bum.
first order of business would of course be getting up early everyday and set time aside for myself to improve. there is no right or perfect time, as they say. the only time you have is now and now is the perfect time. no wishy washy thinking or slothing around and finding excuses.
speaking of excuses, i need to stop using them to get away with things. i need to grow up, take responsibility for my own life and outcome of it and not blame anyone or my circumstances for it.
i know that i am capable of greater things and i really want to witness for myself the great things that i can achieve. to a certain extent, i want to prove A wrong. he doesn’t know it or acknowledge it but it hurts every single time when he belittles me and says nasty things, words that i would not say to him that easily as he always does. i won’t say never because i never know when will be the time my words leave carelessly from my lips so.
so glad this is the outlet for me to leave my messy thoughts behind here and move on from here. a place for me to reflect on the day’s chaos and seek some respite from the world. at least for a while. talk about improving myself, i want to read more books! :)
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All odd o:
iM GONNA PUT THIS UNDER A READMORE BC ITS LONG…
1. What is you middle//full name?
i’m not gonna say my full name for privacy purposes, but my first + middle names are Tristen Mackenzie
3. What is your birthday?
May 23rd!
5. What is your favorite color?
aw man like… light pink? dark purple? cerulean blue??? all good.
7. Do you have any pets?
yes!!!! i have a cat and her name is rose and i love her
9. How tall are you?
5′3″-ish? i’m not exactly sure
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
uh… 3 i think? 5 counting both pairs of character shoes though!
13. What talents do you have?
as a lot of ppl who follow this blog, i’m pretty good at writing! other than that, i like to think i’m pretty decent at singing and acting, and i draw a lot. other than that??? idk
15. Favorite song?
i answered this but i’ll just add more: A Soft Place to Land from Waitress
also Teen Idle and Primadonna by Marina and the Diamonds!!
17. Who would be your ideal partner?
alright so like my ideal partner is definitely someone who just loves me for who i am and doesn’t force me to change, y’know? someone supportive who’s kinda ready to take me as i am with all the baggage i have and still loves me in the end but doesn’t take any bullshit? like, they accept i have problems but won’t let said problems excuse my actions. someone who can help me improve on who i am, i guess?
also someone sweet and gentle and just understands, y’know??
idk i haven’t put much thought into a person past that, since i guess all i want is someone who actually gives a shit?
19. Do you want a church wedding?
uh personally i don’t really care even tho it’d probably piss off my family i guess??? like, it could be or it couldn’t be and it probably wouldn’t make too much of a difference for me because imo it’s a wedding either way???? idk man
21. Have you ever been to the hospital?
like, me being in the hospital? no. visiting people? yeah
23. Have you ever met any celebrities?
uhhh i met a guy off of broadway once he was cool i think his name was andrew or matthew or something and he was in pippin and actually was charlemange the night we saw the show!! i wish i could remember his name because he gave me really good advice about basically sharpening what i wasn’t good at when it came to theatre
25. What color socks are you wearing?
none
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?
like… i mean, i wouldn’t be against it? as long as it’s for something i’m proud of, i guess???
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
nnnope
31. What position do you usually sleep in?
i usually lie on my stomach when i sleep!!! idk why it’s been kind of a recent thing??? like i use to sleep on my left side for years and over the last year or two i’ve started sleeping on my stomach for whatever reason
33. What do you typically have for breakfast?
i usually don’t wake up early enough to actually eat breakfast but i like to make scrambled eggs and toast!! because effort
35. Have you ever tried archery?
no but i want to :’O
37. Favorite swear word?
eh, probably just ‘fuck’ because i’m not creative
39. Do you have any scars?
i have a reaaaaaaally faint scar going up my leg from when i did something stupid and was scratched by a wire!!!
41. Are you a good liar?
depends on the lie and who i’m telling said lie to, honestly.
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?
uh i can kinda do a russian accent like Stereotypical Russian and i can do a southern accent (which works because i’m from the south but i have no accent i swear), and i can do a kinda posh accent??? idk man i should sit around and just attempt accents one day.
i’m good at mimicking mercy from overwatch sometimes tho but only when i’m playing her because it’s more of me just sitting there echoing whatever she says i guess
45. What is your favorite accent?
idk my russian accent is at least fun to sit around and say shit in
also just??? idk what you would call it other than Stuck Up White Girl but that’s also kinda fun because i literally will sit around and say stupid shit
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?
that’s honestly a good question and i couldn’t tell you because i barely remember anything like lemme check amazon because i have this dress??? that was probably expensive
it actually wasn’t too expensive it was only 35-ish dollars??? idk then i tend to not buy expensive clothes
49. Are you an innie or an outie?
innie
51. Are you scared of spiders?
hhholy fck yeah i nearly panicked yesterday when there was a spider in my car like i was almost gone but my brother got it
53. Favorite foreign food?
honestly that’s hard but i??? fukn???? love??? chicken enchiladas????
also does fondue count bc it’s from switzerland and i love fondue like cheese??? good. chocolate??? heaven.
55. Most used phrased?
probably like “idk man” because i just Don’t Know
57. How long does it take for you to get ready?
depends!!! sometimes it can be around 30-40, sometimes an hour, sometimes i’ll be ready in 10 minutes i don’t do makeup and throw on something decent
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?
i tend to mostly suck???? that doesn’t sound sexual i swear why does everything have to sound sexual jfc
61. Do you sing to yourself?
i think we all know the answer to this one. it’s a definite yes and anyone who thinks otherwise doesn’t know me tbh
63. Biggest Fear?
dying young, i guess? it’s something that kinda haunts me still and idk of anything that’d be a bigger fear than that for me rn
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?
idk i rarely watch movies????
67. Can you name all 50 states of America?
i mean i’d probably leave a few out but i can
i took a thing and i got like, 35-36 out of the 50 so that’s good i guess
69. Extrovert or Introvert?
def an introvert
71. What makes you nervous?
what doesn’t make me nervous tho
uh i guess just??? driving in silence makes me nervous
honestly any silence makes me nervous because i need at least some sort of constant noise??? tests are hell, man.
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?
depends on the mistake??? i tend to but if it’s just something really minor i won’t bother the person.
75. Have you ever started a rumor?
nah i dont think so. if i have then??? whoops. i know a guy who started (or at least tried to?) rumors about himself tho it was weird
77. Have you ever drank underage?
not rly??? i’ve had sips of stuff but that was usually with my parents and it wasn’t enough to make me feel anything. altho next time my friend and i hang out without her parents there i might drink a little, just to be able to say ‘i did the thing’ since i kinda wanna do teenage shit while i still can i guess?????
79. Who was your first real crush?
guy i knew/know (we’re kinda friends??? like we talk but we don’t make extra effort to do so imo???) named jacob!!! he let me down gently because he was also the first person i confessed to, and altho i kinda regret it, i still had that rejection so at least i don’t have to deal with that shit with someone else being “that first rejection” or w/e
81. Can you roll your Rs?
aaaa sadly no i wish i could tho!!!
83. How fast can you run?
i don’t think i’m fast but i think i’m fast enough
85. What color is your eyes?
blue!
87. Do you keep a journal?
i kinda used to??? i stopped writing in it for a while… 89. Do you like your age?
ehh kinda??? like…? i’m still technically a “““teenager”““ (even tho i technically count until i’m 20 but legally i’m an adult at 18) but it kinda sucks because being 17 is lowkey kinda stressful because woah ur a senior in high school time for u to be forced into thinking you need to choose a good college that will get u a degree for a job you’ll always be in for the rest of ur life and just the fact i’m kinda inexperienced in shit??? i just wanna be smooched before i turn 18 man
91. Do you like your own name?
i mean??? i don’t like ‘tristen’ but i do like ‘tris’! which is why i go by it online and i try to get ppl to call me it. there was someone i know who was like “no one even calls you that” when i said something about being called “tris” to someone and i’m like… that’s because i never said anything about it before…??? no one calls me tris because i never really went by it before….???
but anyway “tristen” is fine but i will always prefer to be called “tris”
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?
i’m gonna say i’d love to have a girl but honestly? i don’t really care? if i have a child or if i have children, i just want them to be happy and healthy and feel they can trust me with anything - or at least almost anything, since i never really had that person growing up.
95. What are your weaknesses?
uh i’m not the strongest person when it comes to physical activities but that’s also because i’m a dumb egg who sucks when it comes to shit like dancing because i kinda throw myself down a hole when other ppl get things and i don’t and i get really self deprecating over shit
also self deprecation by itself is a pretty big weakness.
other than that, i’m kinda messy?? like my room itself is a mess and there’s clothes on the floor and i really just need to take a day and clean up
97. Were your ancestors royalty?
not that i know of
99. Color of your bedspread?
uh its too hot for one rn but i have a white one that my grandma bought for me and i use it when its cold af outside
i want this galaxy one that i found tho….
(I SPENT AN HOUR ANSWERING THIS BUT IT WAS FUN OMG…)
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the only reason i even like this ugly fkn cunt is because we’re so similar. or at least were, he’s grown a bit more than me so i obviously appreciate his help and experience and knowlege or whatever.
but fuck him in the fucking asshole, not only is he a white man, not only does he get triggered by ”i hate whites/men” and ”ppl listen to u cus ur a white man” and takes it SUPER PERSONALLY and accuse me of fucking attacking him and shit. hes acting like a fucking dick when we’re fighting and the thing is……. HE REFUSES to admit when i say we’re similar in the way we fight??? he’s like ”no, im not” and im like YES BITCH YOU ARE YOU’RE ACTING LIKE A FUCKING CHILD
he’s so fucking aggressive, manipulative, guilt tripping and just…. COLD. i swear what the fuck is wrong with him? i’ve met him 3 times, and we’ve fought 2 times. ive known him for like 2 weeks and we’ve already had 2 major fights??
the only reason im not fucking murdering him on the spot is because 1. im not a fucking idiot. i know my limits. i CANT control him, i CANT manipulate him. i dont have any power over him and 2. i fucking like him?? if i dont apologize he’s going to go on for fucking ever and eternity??? i like him and im actually genuinely sorry that he’s hurt even if he’s a fucking pussy who got triggered over smth as petty
like excuse ME!! the way he fights is REALLY triggering for me??? the first time i was terrified. it was like flashbacks and shit i cried for a whole day and i hadn’t even met him back then. i was SO SCARED and SO SHOCKED. because IT IS I who usually have his position. it is I who usually put people in their places, NOT the other way around. i HATE being scolded, feeling like a worthless little piece of shit
i knew that i should’ve blocked his ass because that can really be SO damaging to me. also there’s a risk im goong to explode as well and we’re just gonna trigger each other and fight to death…. but i didnt because i was too god damn curious of what he had to offer. is it really possible for me to be happy as well? is it really possible for me to heal and grow like him? ERHM well obviously he’s not in his ”complete form” yet, fucking psycho when he get angry, but he’s pretty happy and kind and positive generally
i worried so much about me draining him with my anxiety and issues but he said he wouldnt let me drain him. he said he always put himself first and the he basically would leave if i try to pull anything on him. why the fuck did i even worry about him when he’s trying to manipulate and guilt trip me?? I AM SO PISSED. HE REALLY TRIED TO DO THAT THAT STUPID MOTHERFUCKER.
during our first fight it worked because i was SO SHOCKED, as i said. and i was SCARED. but fuck him in the asshole he really- he really tried to FUCKING DO THAT TO ME
he accuses me of being disrespectful of his limits when he goes fucking bananas, everythings happening so fast i cant even process what just happen, i dont even have the time to apologize cus hes all over and everywhere. and he’s so fucking threatening. he’s like ”if you dont…..” and he doesnt realize what the fuck he’s doing?? i apologize because 1. i hate these fights and 2. i like him i dont want to hurt him but he’s like ”i have nothing to apologize for”
STUPID FUCKING CUNTBAG YOUR UGLY TECHNIQUES ARE WAY OVER MY LIMITS, YOURE DISRESPECTING ME 101919X MORE THAN I EVER DISREPSEXTED U BY CALLING U A WHITE MAN.
(also can we talk abt how this motherfucker understabds that whites and men are privileged but he still doesnt get why reverse oppression isnt a thing and that it is GROUPS that are privileged and NOT individuals??? like he’s that fucking dumb)
that shit actually HURT!!!! i think he’s really immature during fights, i think he’s really fucking pathetic and i’m glad i’ve come to that conclusion rather than beating myself up. yes, i now understand that this is probably what it feels like for the counterpart when im fighting with them and im fuckig sorry that im acting like this psycho
BUT!!!!!! what really HURT was that he HONESTLY TRIED TO MANIPULATE ME. if i hadn’t called his ass out this time he would have gotten away with it AGAIN
bitch, he’s fucking 23 years old. he’s 4 years older than me. he also KNOWS!!!!!! i have a stupid crush on him and he STILL!!!!! TRIED TO GUILT TRIP ME, TRIED TO MAKE ME OBEY AND SUBMIT TO HIM, GET DOWN ON MY KNEES AND BEG
im so pissed and a part of me wish i would just have exploded but i couldnt because it was fucking 1 am and my family was asleep and i couldnt fucking shout at someone over the phone. also it actually made me feel a bit superior and mature when i was all calm and he still was upset (even though he wouldnt admit it, stupid proud brat. his voice changes distinctly). okay YES, i MAY have patronized him a little but also NOT!!! i was just really tired and sad and i still liked him so like….. i was just upset and trying to calm him down
its kind of hilarious how i had to tell him to stop sounding so aggressive and he was like ”im not” and i was like ”yes you are” and so he actually KIND OF stopped and it was easier to talk to him. wow i feel so powerful lmao. omg in really not any better than him am i? i know im not because no matter how much he denies it…….. im literally exactly the same when i fight 😔😔 i tell myself i wasnt like that because i didnt WANT to, because i want to be MATURE but a part of me honestly thinks its just me knowing my place. i like him more than the likes me, he can use that to his advantage, there was no reason or possibility for me to dominate him.
im still very pissed though and just because i like him i still REFUSE to follow him like a little puppy. ive been so worried ALL this time that i wouldnt be able to keep up with him intellectually, that he was too good for me, too smart and too kind. PFFFFFFFT!!! im sorry but i swear i was just idealizing him or smth. its his fucking voice and scent, its like a drug it makes me all calm and dizzy but objectively…. dont fucking let him manipulate you. if he ever makes you feel like yo should apologize and that tou did wrong, ask yourself WHY. an east escape is not the right answer. call him the fuck out. i think and hope he avtually would appreciate it as well……. even though he’s so fucking stubborn and proud OMG HES SO PROUD I CANT, I AM PROUD TOO BUT NOT TO HIM. or maybe a little since i now refuse to fucking message him, maybe a little bit manipulative but no, im still mad, the way he acted lady night was fucked up. why does he have to be so proud with ME???? is it because he doesnt feel as emotionally connected to me as i do? yeah probably
that stupid motherufcker…. when i told him ”instead of threatening me that you’re gonna hung up if i dont ’respect’ aka BEHAVE accordingly…. you could just say ’hey im not comfortable talking right now, i need to hung up’ AND HE WAS LIKE ”but we’re not that close-/but we’re not that emotionally-” or something like that and i was like……. is this dipshit clown really serious?? ”uhhh its more like COMMON SENSE AND RESPECT” and he was like ”yeah maybe…” YEAH MAYBE? NO YOU KNOW IM FUCKING RIGHT
god that piece of shit really thinks he has me wrapped around his finger or something. im attracted to him but what he doesnt understand is that he’s still a plain white man. he had NO IDEA how much im controlling myself by even letting myself fall for a white man. does he really think he can like…. i sont know?? i fucking asked him. because i said ”i dont demand or threaten you” and he was like yeah i know. and i was like woahhh…. wait a second….. ”do you think i dont because i like you? do you think i would just follow you whatever?” and he was like ”im not gonna answer that”
oh my god he really thought didnt he. stupid ass white boy really thought i would choose him over myself or any of my siblings of color. smh poor jack.
im going nuts. okay…. if he EVER pulls something like this again i wont be so sure i’ll be able to handle this on a mature level. the worst thing is though that i HAVE TO. because even when i DO, he’s so fucking ptronizing. like te WHITE MAN just jumped out???? if i were to lose my shit……. ITS SI FRUSTRATING AND ITS EXACTLY WHY I CANT BE WITH A WHITE MAN. i was avtually very fucking calm and he STILL managed to make me feel like i was the ”bad guy”.
ughhhh im fucking insane. this…… whatever the fuck our relationship is cus this boy is apprently only interested in me what the fuck that now even means?? okay so we can like hang out and be physical and cuddle and shit but we’re not a couple and its NOT limited to being exclusively us. apparebtly i should still feel flattered though?? cus he doesnt find anyone attractive and he needs some sort of chemistry??? im sorry boy but i am NOT flattered. you do you, i get it, it takes time for you to fall in love with someone but im obviously still much more emotionally invested. that not your fault. thats my problem. my abandonment and attatchment issues. honestly im so fucked i cant even differ my feelings. my feelings for him are strong but idk what they are. some days i feel like platonic friendship, other days an older brother, a romantic partner and sometimes even a dad/parental figure. like im that fucked up i just need a STRONG BOND i dont care what
i low key hate myself for how i ended the call yesterday. thanks to that, now i cant bring this up again. its too late. the fight is ”over”. i was like ”i still like u bye goodnight sweet dreams” but now im like ”i hate u ugly bitch”.
god my head
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