#so you can go home which is great!
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God god God why do I have so much work to do all the time for everyone ouuuuugh
#my ASL professor just piled more work on me can i get a fucking break#here's the thing about the week before finals no one warns you about#all your professors try and be nice and make everything due the week before finals#so you can go home which is great!#BUT OH MY GOD??? THEN YOU HAVE TO DO LIKE 20 ASSIGNMENTS IN ONE WEEK ON TOP PF GOING TO FUCKING CLASS#stop stop stop stop giving me work to do i am already so overwhelmed and stressed that I literally forgot to go to asl and do asl work#all last week#i have 2 whole print projects to finish this week i have 2 whole education projects to finish i need to study for and take my final#for art history and i can't not study for it cause it's all brw information which is actual dog shit#i have to finish my painting and i need to do classroom overvations#i'm overwhelmed as it is leave me alone!!
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George did not write Arya naming babies in Winterfell and taking care of a child in the middle of a WARZONE just for y'all to say she's not going to end up with kids/family because she's "not that type of character" 😒
#arya stark#asoiaf#a character centered around family and /pack/ who spent the entire story wanting to return home to/with her family isn't#going to end up with a family of her own (outside of siblings) because she doesn't want to be a trad-wife...okay#she was 9 years old on the run and worrying about how to fix Weasel's hair can we bffr for two seconds#Weasel latching onto Arya's leg...Arya using her name as an alias in Harrenhal...that's literally mother and daughter#impact so great she has her future love interest taking care of kids in her memory when he initially wanted to leave weasel#which is funny because people always want to project onto Gendry as the /family man/ type who has to convince Arya when it's the opposite#Arya is going to have a romance and family as a non-conforming woman on her own terms and I think that's beautiful#the unfeeling detached persona y'all try to project onto her is never going to stick she literally thrives off of community#it's very obvious when you speak on a character without having read their chapters btw
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of?
VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#silly hours#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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30: Dawn
he'd stayed up all night for this. seeing the sun - the proper sun - crest the horizon again... it had all been worth it.
#miqomarch#miqomarch 2024#ffxiv miqo'te#final fantasy 14#seeker of the sun#shb spoilers in tags... beware#essentially he. was brought in like. a while after alphinaud but before alisaie#and spent a whole year on the first on his own - no selene no sagra#and since selene is his conduit: with none of his healing magic either.#so without any magic or any knowledge of the local plants#it was like he had been stripped of literally all purpose#which as you can imagine for a man who mostly views himself through the lens of 'how can i help others'#was not great for his mental health!#mostly he just became some sort of lydha lran cryptid of sorts#wandering the fog in old tattered voeburt clothes#waving a rusty old sword around to keep people out of the pixies' home#(since his soul is still owned by selene they couldn't really do anything to him)#which eventually ended with him having some sort of Thing with urianger#BUT. once sagra made it back with selene#and once they talked a lot of stuff out - its a long story -#there was definitely something like. oh. fuck. oh fuck yes this is the reason im here. this was worth it.#to see the relief on everyone's face on the crystarium#we're going thru shb again HEHE i have a lot of thoughts about himmm. my little GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#miqomarch fans how excited are we to almost be done btw???
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My cousin, a published writer, a well-known poet in my country and a literature professor, for whom I've always been no.1 support ever since her first attempts at writing in high school, told me that I must stop writing as a hobby because that's her thing and since I'm writing fantasy mostly my writing could never have any important artistic value anyways.
#what happened was that i was feeling really down these past few days#like mental health dead in mariana trench#and i went to visit her because she lives like 10 minutes away and has a cat i can play with#but yesterday morning a friend of mine made a fanart (i guess i can call it that) of a fanfic i am writing for the five of them#she sent it to me and said she's also working on an actual painting on a camvas of her fave scene from my original story#and i was so surprised and exicted#that's actually a too mild description#and when i was visitting my cousin i showed her the pic of the drawing on my phone and explained it to her and she just said ....ehh..#and started texting someone#i was sitting there feeling stupid and thinking wow you could have at least praised my friend's art sytle or something#and when i was getting ready to leave she asked me if i was aware my writing has no artistic merit and fantasy is trivial literature#so i should just stop wasting time on that and focus on developing my art style more for her future poetry collections#i do the art for her book covers#and added how we already have an established writer in the family so i should focus on my role - becoming a good pharmacist#and she knows how much i hate that i'm studying pharmacy like it's the no.1 cause of me hating the direction in which my life is going#finished it off by saying she feels like what she's doing in going to be really great and important on a large scale one day#and how she wants me to continue being her shadow that follows and supports her#i left went home and started at a wall for hours#i just feel so dumb for getting excited over a silly drawing of something not more than 5 people will ever read#i genuinely hate the idea of people reading anything i write so most likely writing will just remain a hobby for me#and now i feel like the most stupid person on earth and am this close to deleting all my word documents from both my laptops
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They didnt let buck have a dog because they knew we’d be so annoying about it.
#which is rude#and also fair#also that boy is on the highway to breakdown town and an emotional support dog would deter that#and in the end I’m just glad Hoover found a nice home#but they could have shown us buck caving to the combined powers of both diaz boys and Hoovers puppy eyes#also it needs to be said#the show has opened the possibility of buck getting a cat.#there was no reason to say his building can have cats unless we’re going to give buck a cat#and the show has opened a door about the Diaz’s getting a dog#because Eddie is willing to get Chris a dog#and Chris was excited for a dog and clearly understood that Hoover was not a bad dog it#he just needed more from them#and Chris wants to be more independent and prove his maturity#and giving your child responsibility is a great way to show you trust them#so Eddie should get a dog for Chris#911 spoilers#911 fox#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buckley diaz family#christopher diaz#christopher diaz is a national treasure
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I LOVE going everywhere by bike. Don't need to wait for a bus. Don't need to cram myself into a bus with (urgh) people. Or even worse, what feels like every single student in town. I still get home in about the same amount of time. I'm so so flexible including with places. Like yeah sure, let's go there! I don't care if the next bus station is far away. Doesn't matter to me.
Stayed out late with friends recently. Two of em had to get their family to come pick them up because that's too far to walk and it was too late for buses. A different friend lives like 30 minutes away but always walks and their way goes through a small park where literally no one is at with few lanterns so it's pitch black and I could literally just walk them home and then take the bike which is faster and has its own light and feels and probably is safer than walking those dark ass streets at night alone.
Like. I can just do all that. And yeah, sometimes when I'm not doing too well I feel like collapsing afterwards and yeah, maybe my fingers feel like falling off a lot at this time of year but that's like. SO worth it. I have no idea how people can live and NOT go everywhere by bike. Like if it's more than 20-30 minutes maybe but even with hills.... I fucking love my bike.
#a biscuit's rambles#also i just love going out with friends til late??#with the lockdown and shit that is such an entirely new experience and its great#also i like feeling useful i think. i like walking a friend home knowing ill definitely get home safe#idk#i also like my bike. a lot#been taking it literally every single day for years now and i have no regrets#EXCEPT FOR THOSE FUCKING PEDESTRIANS THAT HEAR MY BELL AND DO NOT FUCKING MOVE#AND THE OTHER BIKES THAT JUST DONT RING THEIR BELLS OR NOT EVEN HAVE ANY#LIKE THEN YOU GOTTA AT LEAST YELL AT PEOPLE TO MOVE OVER YOU NUMBNUT#A BIKE IS QUIET THEY DO NOT HEAR YOU THEY WILL NOT MOVE OVER MAGICALLY#AND IM STUCK BEHIND YOU#ALSO ITS JUST ASSHOLE BEHAVIOUR LIKE SOMEITMES WARNING SOMEONE SO THEY KEEP TO THE BLOODY SIDE IS GOOD!!!#and dont even get me STARTED ON SOME OF THE CARS#MUCH LESS THE STUPID ASS FUCKING INFRASTRUCTURE OF MY TOWN#ITS LIKE THEY WANT BIKES TO BE RUN OVER#fun fact i have been run over before#just fuckin collided with a car#nobody would listen to me try to pick apart the details of how it felt#which was probably my way of trying to cope with that experience lol#though nothing serious happened. bUT STILL#also oh god that one stupid fucking street with those stupid ass cars NOBODY NEEDS A CAR THERE JUST BAND HTEM ALREADY#AND THE. THE FUCKIGN ROADWORKS#I CAN NOT REACH MY SCHOOL WITHOUT ALMOST BEING EITHER HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A HUGE SHOVEL OR RUN OVER BY A TRUCK#AND IF THATS NOT THE CASE THEN THERES SO MANY FCKING PEOPLE THAT EVEN IF I YELL AT THEM LIKE MAD I CANT GET PAST WITHOUT RUNNING SOMEONE#THROUGH MYSELF#im very passionate about all things bike. but thinking abt it is a huge part of my life so im allowed to be
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#angle under the cut where you can see their eyes because it is NOT very flattering from the front#sharpedo#this is the fucker that zooms after you like a missile in the swsh DLC‚ right? i think it also does that in sv. it's scary honestly#it's so fast. and it makes that big ol' zoomin' effect like the third nozzle in super mario sunshine. i don't remember what it's called but#it's the gray one. super mario sunshine is my favorite mario game which i feel like is not a very popular opinion#but it tracks because i had a gamecube as a kid. so games on that tend to be some of my favorites because nostalgia i guess#luigi's mansion‚ super mario sunshine‚ pokémon colosseum…#i could go on and on about these games. honestly. luigi's mansion is one of my favorites of all time. i still think it's great even as an#adult. it's much better than the other luigi's mansions in my opinion‚ though i guess my opinion Might be clouded by nostalgia#although i would like to think i can look back on it with a critical eye. i still replay it basically once a year cuz it's super short#i think it's super atmospheric and the later two luigi's mansion games don't really capture that same aesthetic#of… what basically amounts to like. a horror aesthetic. which is weird to say because it's a kids' game but#y'know i'm also not putting my whole brain into these tags right now bc i'm distracted but i hope i am making sense#fellow luigi's mansion fans know what i'm talking about. this is not about sharpedo so here is sharpedo#i believe this'll be posting on the last day of my outing when i'll be flying back home. so. finger's crossed#nope i just queued it and it's the day before i'm flying home. either way‚ good luck‚ future me
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been feeling mixed on some of my friends recently
#i love them but im gonna explain#i don’t want this to boil over like the twins did#but one of my friends i feel so cast off sometimes#i get it bc shes full time adult job employed now#in healthcare no less#but im just getting fully annoyed at her lack of availability and it makes me sad#im getting even sadder actually bc she also always seems to have time to hang with her uni friends whuch hurts#like im like okay i know you have this from 6-7 so how about we meet for dinner at 7:30 bc i wanna see you casually and she says no#and i think i really need to talk to her bc it makes me sad and then i feel slapped in the face#even on nights out we always have to go home early. which my friend basically said:#i think in future if you wanna go home you can but others shouldn’t have to too#bc my other friend got so sad she was forced to come back early and i was like yea i would have liked to have sat at manly with yall#bc i feel we don’t do this any more#i honestly think it’s better to just let her figure it out and go#i don’t want me to sweep so much shit under the rug until i despise her#bc i know this isn’t her fault i just wish she would let loose or make an effort#my other situation is my childhood best friend#i love her a lot she’s amazing. but but but. sometimes i feel she can be too protective of me.#it comes from a place of knowing me for so long#and i do trust her opinions on people who i surround myself with bc she fucking hated those twins#but sometimes i feel she has been treating me differently since my neurodivergence diagnosis#even with a certain high school friend she held this dislike even when i said she was not like the twins#bc she was hanging out with the twins at the 21st#like this girl was also having her issues with the twins and was the person in the firing line of the breakup#even when i was in nl she was so worried about me and its nice to have her have my back#bc after that guy kissed me directly on the lips she suddenly became concerned about ppl taking advantage of me#and its like to me great she cares but also i did in fact learn from it#but she gets super defensive when ppl take advantage of me and i just wanna her to step back#i just feel sometimes i don’t need her feeling like she needs to protect me or that i need to hang neurodivergence up like a flag#idk its a lot. thank u for listening
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guys i laurv college like actually. went out w a group of ppl and went to CVS and a mediocre pep rally. had a really sweet exchange w a bus driver. roommates are going out in a large group to have some of that sweet liquid sillies allegedly. i am alone in my dorm despite thinking i'd be the last one awake i am literally the only one here. and i'm happy i think :D
#nightmare.personal#we have to be up at like 7:30 am though so God bless my poor roommates#it's just two of them out person no 3 is unaccounted for#hypothetically i couldve stayed up but the group i was hanging out w are all roommates#so it was just me sititng in their dorm while they were showering and i was like. i think maybe i should go back to my home domain#but college is seriously kind of great bc like. you can just Do Shit. no parental convos about the logistics of hanging out#if i want to knock on a friends door to see their taxidermied rat and then go out w them at 10 pm#i am well within my God given right to do that!!!!!!#also idk when the RAs come bc this is meant to be quiet hours but people are blasting frank ocean which#it's frank ocean so you cannot be complaining about that but still#ALSO I SAW THIS GUY I'D BEEN TEXTING AT A STORE AND THEN I SAW HIM LATER AT THE RALLY#AND THIR=TY SECONDS BEFORE THE RALLY ENDED I TEXTED HIM SAYING I SAW HIM#AND HE MADE DIRECT EYE CONTACT WITH ME RIGHT WHEN EVERYONE STARTED LEAVING#IT WAS SO FUNNY. i am seeing him in SO many places and we haven't even hung out yet#also hope the guy that i recced måneskin liked it i didn't do one of their best songs but hopefully thats cool#i just did baby said bc i was gonna do read your diary but thought it'd be too much in hindsight i'd DEFFO do kool kids#IN ANY CASEEEE. idk what to do now just text my gf i guess
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i have a flare up and a bad headache -_- on another note, does ANYONE have any good youtube videos about petscop?? that provide nuanced yet understandable breakdowns of all it's subject matter/story/themes? if not videos, any other sort of media that explains it well? ive always had a fascination with it since im the internet horror guy but never could really wrap my head around it even after multiple watchthroughs (it happens a lot with a lot of media. im pretty sure it has something to do with the way iprocess information in general lol)
#i want to be more involved with internet horror without the youtube barrier in between. youtube is very helpful ofc but even my favorite#creators cant go super in depth the way i want alot of the times#ALSO if anyone has recommendations for good takes on welcome home i would also really love that ..!! i was going to rant about it a long#time ago when it first dropped but i have such a hard time engaging with things that amass such a huge fanbase so quickly 😭 which is such a#shame bc i was so excited when it first came out... still am! as much as i can be. its so my thing#i know for internet horror you have to be in discords and reddit and styff but eudhehs . ill get there when i get there lol . recs for#stuff like that is also appreciated#man the tags r long sorry lol. things arent great over here so im trying to distract myself .#incubus.txt
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i like that they view the songs and performance as one because again, the reason im here to begin with is because i wanted to watch cool dancing that fit my taste and they did the trick, and then i loved their music so v much. but i do wish they viewed their music as stand alone too <3 they have intense and intricate dances that they're not gonna be able to do once they hit their later years (if they're still together) so its like -.- look out for our own backs boys, pls
#theres certain songs of theirs that i Have to dance to when they come on so in that sense i too view them as one but BUT!!!!!!!! music is#music. you won't always get to hear it live. some bands sound great live but suck in the studio that's just how things can be and vice vers#i fear that a lot of kpop doesn't think long term in the sense of musical longevity. they're looking for the next big song to make money of#of and i understand that's how the industry runs but! wouldn't you like to be able to listen to your own stuff as a group later on and thin#'we had a really solid discography. let me put this on'#things should be able to live on even outside of their context in my opinion and i hope they're considering that#i guess which was my concern for 5 star being a summer album rather than a For Us album#but honestly with this intro vid im actually feeling more confident about how homey it feels? like they're playing on home turf with this#album if they know it might not go down well with some fans. they know exactly the risk they're taking and they can do it because its an#album for them and for the fans#longwinded much.........................#<3
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Tuvok is no doubt the best off amongst the main crew when it comes to his life post-Voyager. His wife and children are still there, he won’t have any personally complicated feelings to sort out about Starfleet (other than its treatment of the Maquis he served with and Seven of Nine but again he seems to be very loyal to Starfleet as a baseline and generally willing to give them the benefit of the doubt) and he’s got that Vulcan emotional control.
However, I do wonder what being seen as the one who’s got it all together would have on him. I can easily imagine other members of Voyager’s crew casually asserting that Tuvok is doing well, better, the best compared to all of them. He’s got nothing to complain about, does he? Now that his illness has been cured.
I can imagine this was also the case on Voyager. Tuvok’s gonna be fine in the end, he’s Vulcan and he never seems to be affected by all the weird and disturbing shit that happens to us. Tuvok himself likely adds to this perception of himself because I imagine it’s easier to lean into the idea that you’re above any potential damage you might’ve sustained when there’s so much of it. If you assert hard enough that you’re fine, you’re mature, you’re Vulcan, and everyone around you seems to affirm that then maybe you don’t have to work through everything. Especially when there’s so much, more than you’ve ever experienced in your life, and time is so limited.
Vulcans have very volatile emotions and have to process them carefully in order to function. I can’t imagine that Voyager, the horrorship with ten disasters a day, (all of which concern you as its inhabitant and security officer) is conducive to being able to completely internalize and accept your emotions especially when you’ve just lost essentially your entire support network (immediately after being undercover) and are surrounded by aliens who you’re not allowed (culturally and also because you’re sort of stubborn and reclusive) to be fully honest with and lean on for that support. (It would be a weakness, you might think. Not for them, they’re humans but you are not human. You can handle things on your own.) It’s just you and you alone really. No one to turn to, no one who you think might understand and help you the (Vulcan) way you need.
But also again I don’t think Tuvok would dwell on this much on Voyager because there’s nothing he can change about it so it’d be illogical and very unhelpful. Also because the idea that he’s unaffected is ‘good’ for him (better than the alternative which wounds his self-image and also to an extent ship morale <- latter is somewhat of an excuse, in his nightmares he can hear people gossiping that even the Vulcan’s losing it.) and his general personality is one that is obviously prideful to the point of others calling him arrogant or holier-than-thou. Tuvok would definitely take being seen as unfaltering and unflappable (undamaged) to anything else. Anything less. He can do a bit of unintentional self-mythologizing as a treat instead of therapy. It would help him feel like he’s still himself, still Vulcan, still whole.
However, when he’s back in the alpha quadrant and amongst other Vulcans, people who are allowed to and do know him intimately (or even strangers who are just the same species as him and thus are not encumbered by preconceived alien notions of Vulcans) I bet this facade of being unaffected by everything would come crumbling down fairly quickly.
#Tuvok meeting any member of Starfleet to get a quick fix of 'Tuvok you're so damn lucky your life's perfect and you're doing great'#before going home to his family who all say 'Tuvok you're so damn stubborn please get help we can see clear as day you're doing terribly'#you might say that 'ship morale' is positioning Tuvok as more important than he actually is to the average crewman#which is true but also I can imagine Tuvok having a bit of a self-importance thing - it's a trait he and Janeway share and it becomes#exacerbated in the delta quadrant where they really are to some extent INCREDIBLY important#People tell T'Pel she's lucky she & Tuvok are Vulcan so they're pretty much fine and she sort of looks away and slowly says...mm.......#st voyager#Tuvok#STARFLEET?? I meant Voyager#one day Janeway & Tuvok are gonna turn on each other#'once loyal enabler betrays friend by suggesting therapy' style
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Need to sleep to music and eat food I picked in the place I need to eat and chill without feeling like I should be doing something I wanna go home. Holidays r overrated I don't love them
#I can do one night then I'm over it#Especially bc this place doesn't let you have food in the rooms and stuff#Like I wanted to do the cool activities here but I can't eat so I don't feel great then I can't do them#Going home tomorrow looking forward to it#Like I'm proud of myself for making it here and I haven't even cried yet which is big for me with holidays#But it's so blegh#And it's not that I don't like spending time with my mum I just don't like spending this long away from decent food that I can eat
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#not 2 be like. negative but i just kinda got hit hard by the way my relationship w my best friend has changed#dont get me wrong i understand that her girlfriend will be super important to her esp bc she lives across the world and is only physically#here for another 2 or so weeks#but my best friend just got back from a trip to another city to see an artist she loves and as she came in i got up to go see her and ask hl#how it was but she was in her room w her gf before i could and thats fine i get it and like she hasnt done anything wrong i can not#emphasize that enough like i hold no bitter feelings to her she is excited to talk to her gf understandably#it just hit me that like. oh yeah. i have no one else that i go to about literally anything but she does#and its less ab her so much as its. its just hitting me that i dont really have? friends?#i have one or two people but like. i only have One Person thats my go to fave person always tell them everything#and i just. I've realized that its not reciprocated the way it used to be#and that i think is just like a part of growing up#i dont have a partner i dont have someone my life is intrinsically linked to#like a best friend is great but its not. relationships are placed to a higher level you know like its jusy more important#and i just. ive nevr Had a partner really. unless u count a like 2 month thing when i was 12 which i dont count#not to be depresso but i am just not the kind of person that people want or desire#and thats been the case long before i came out as trans but its extra complicated now since i dont. Fully pass#idk not 2 sound sad i just wanna be loved#and i think theres only so many times i can hear the most important person in my life come home and talk excitedly ab things thru the walls#and then never actually get told anything myself. not just ab things shes excited for but just in general#we were meant to go to a house viewing together a few days ago and it was only half an hour before it was happening when no one else was#home that i messaged them to check in and they were like oh yeah we're not going we have this and this going on#which like. fine whatever but i dont drive and getting anywhere fast is hard so it just. was stressful#but it just seems like i am constantly out of the loop. everyone i live with is in a relationship w each other and i am just here#in every aspect of my life i am Just There and im tired of it#not to sound desperate or needy but i just would like to. be noticed? or feel prioritized? or even wanted#idk this is. i just needed to rant i think im emotional bc my hormones r a bit wack#im due for my testosterone shot in a few days but i dont have the money or time to go to the doctors lately so its being pushed back#a few weeks and its just. i think its messing w me a bit#i mean i feel this way literally all the time but just the like. the being upset and emotional and posting ab it i think is bc of that#idk i needed to get it out idk it this will stay up or not
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I saw that you accept prompts for your „teach me to love“ fic! So here is an idea:
Gil is on his way to Thena to give her papers for a little school theater play when he sees her and Kro outside the door in an heated argument. He sees how Kro gets angrier and angrier and how he comes dangerously and threatening closer to Thena so Gil rushes and puts himself between him and her. He is looking very serious and intimidating and telling him with a very calm but cold voice (serious mafia vibes here xD) to be very careful of his next steps. Thena has never seen Gil like this and is too stunned.
So you can choose if you want to put it as a prompt out here or like a new idea for your fic. Because I just thought after the first encounter between him and Gil that kro would cause a few problems through the story :)
Gil made the quick trip down the street to Thena's house. He had a few papers for her to sign for the upcoming activities for the month. Of course, he could have just emailed her, or just sent them home with Druig, as he had with the rest of the kids.
He had just...forgotten to. That was all.
It wasn't that it was an excuse to see her. She was his neighbour, it was just convenient to be able to run them over to her. He was pretty sure that even Thena would say they were friends at this point. He was just doing a favour for his friend. That was it.
"Fuck you!"
That was most definitely not Thena's voice.
Gil picked up his pace to a light jog until he could see past Phastos' house and into her front yard. She was on the front porch, arguing with an eerily tall and imposing figure. Gil had a bad feeling he knew who that was.
"Will you keep your voice down!" she hissed at the man who quickly leaned in to tower over her again.
"Let me the fuck inside, Thee," Kro growled at her, not necessarily shouting anymore but certainly not keeping his voice down either. "I came to see my goddamn kid."
"Kro, we have rules about this for a reason," she crossed her arms at him, unmoved by his growling at her. "You cannot just come over here any time you wish."
"I can't bring my son a fucking birthday present?" he snarled at her.
"His birthday is next month."
"No, it's not."
Thena pushed Kro back by his chest, "I was there! I was there alone, if you recall!"
"This again," Kro stepped back, rolling his eyes at her. As if not having been there for the birth of his child was some small thing to nag him about.
"I have full custody, Kro," Thena pressed, stepping forward and even surrendering her elevated stance on the porch to push back at him. "That was the agreement. I decide when and where you get to see him--if you get to see him!"
"You agreed not to keep me from my own kid, y'self-righteous bitch!"
"That was before you showed up with barely a warning at Christmas and frightened him!"
"You saying my own boy's afraid of me?!" Kro bellowed at her, far beyond proving her point for her. He ceased letting her push him back from her space, marching forward again. "Because that's your doing, Thee! You fuckin' coddled him until he was a such a momma's boy that he'd cry at the littlest thing!"
"He's five!"
"I'm goin' to see my kid!" Kro pushed forward until Thena's feet hit the front step again. She turned instinctively to balance herself but Kro grabbed her wrist, forcing her eyes back to him, "and you're-"
"That's enough!"
Thena blinked as she found herself released, no longer with her ex-husband screaming in her face but behind a warm, sturdy back. "Gil?"
"Who the fuck are you?" Kro snarled at Gil, snapping his hand back to him in a fist after it was wrenched away from Thena.
Gil didn't dignify that with a response. They had literally met before. "Back up."
"Wait," Kro frowned, his eerily blue eyes going dark. He eyed Gil up and down with deep disdain on his face, "I know--you're the school marm."
"I'm Druig's teacher," Gil corrected him, unbothered by the murderous look on the taller man's face. He could bark and growl all he liked at him. "And I think it's time for you to go."
"Oh, you do," Kro got in Gil's face, as he had with Thena. He didn't have to lean down quite as far. "This is between me and the missus, mate."
Thena glared at Kro from behind Gil's shoulder, "I am not your wife!"
Kro saw his opening, immediately lunging for her again but Gil moved quicker, angling his shoulders, moving Kro further away and Thena further back behind him. Kro leaned back again, narrowly avoiding colliding with Gil's thick shoulder. "Look, this isn't any of your business."
"It's my business if you're bullying her," Gil growled right back at him. He wasn't one for confrontation, really. He didn't like having to use his size. But the last thing he was going to do was let Thena get pushed around. "She deserves some respect, don't you think?"
"Stay the fuck out of it."
Gil inhaled, drawing up his shoulders and puffing his chest out faintly. It didn't take much for him to easily outdo Kro when it came to muscle mass. Kro was tall, and he definitely was strong. But Gil had no doubt that he was stronger. "Think very carefully about what your next move is."
Kro raised his fist, which Gil seemed prepared to take. He faltered as a pale hand emerged and wrapped around Gil's arm.
"Come inside," she whispered to Gil, although Kro had heard it plain as day. She gave him a withering glare, "he's not worth it."
"Thee." It was somewhere in between anger and shock and maybe even some betrayal and...something sad?
Gil put his hands on Thena's shoulders, ushering her inside and leaving her ex-husband out on the stoop without a second thought. He closed and locked the door behind him, not sure just how much of a problem Kro's anger issues really were.
Thena sighed, her shoulders dropping from the tension draining out of her, "I suppose there goes my hope of no longer being the subject of neighbourhood gossip."
Gil shook his head, keeping a hand connected to her as he moved around to face her. "Are you okay?"
She looked reasonably unshaken, though. If anything, she looked unfortunately unsurprised by her ex's behaviour. She smiled up at Gil, "thanks to you."
Gil looked over her shoulder to where Kro was apparently making the wise decision of getting the hell away from them. He sighed, his brows deeply furrowed and a scowl on his face, "the nerve of that guy."
"I'm afraid you don't know the half of it," Thena lamented with no particular sadness as Kro's tires screeched out of the driveway. She looked up at Gil again, her hands clasped in front of her, "thanks for coming to my rescue."
Gil didn't even think before he blurted out, "always."
"Yes, you do seem to be coming to my rescue rather often," she shook her head, although she still hadn't moved away from his hand on her shoulder. "Would you-"
"Mum!--is Dad gone?!"
Gil chuckled at the shout coming from the kitchen. That was what had made Thena go out there to talk to Kro alone. It, as was always the case with Thena, was to protect Druig.
"Yes, Darling, he's gone home," she answered, not letting a shred of vulnerability into her voice. She looked up at Gil, switching to a whisper, "he's refused to speak with him on the phone since Christmas."
That was why Kro had come all this way in person. It was because Druig didn't want to talk to him.
It seemed a little manipulative for the guy to try and bribe his way into his son's life with presents, but Gil set that aside for now. He ran his hands down Thena's arms until he could hold her hands in his. "Are you sure you're okay? I can stick around for a bit."
Thena gave him that smile that reminded him that it was literally her job to be beautiful. Obviously it came to her naturally. "I'm not worried about him. But, if you'd like to join us for some afternoon tea...?"
He wasn't one for tea, really. He liked coffee with lots of cream and sugar, and he liked lightly steeped barley tea. But tea? "Sounds great."
#Teach Me to Love AU#okay so this is basically#like a scrapped chapter I have for this#so that works out great for me#and I hope you like it too!#it was very tempting for me to work in protective mode Gil#but just never got the chance#until now!#listen#Gil is a school teacher#he's a reasonable guy#but he might lose it just a little bit when he sees Kro getting in Thena's face#and yeah she's a strong woman and can handle herself#but that doesn't mean he's going to watch her ex-husband give her a hard time#Thena like Druig your father is on the phone#Druig goes...tell him I'm not home#and Thena isn't going to make Druig talk to his dad because she's a great mom#and anyway#Gil stays for tea#which he's relieved to find out just means a snack#Thena has tea and little finger sandwiches#Druig has juice and some fruit#but I do think there's something inherently romantic about being like#I hate tea...but if you invite me in for some then I'm there
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