#so yah all this to say: this will be posted Monday (today) so help me GOD Z | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eastasianfeelings · 4 years

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falling into the sky — chapter two: baby

← chapter one: crush // chapter three: hug →

Summary: Your dance crew is backing up 5Vixx’s comeback. You happen to have a big crush on Ken. It’s kind of not an ideal situation for you, but your dance crew and the rest of Vixx make up for it.

Words: 3.7k

Warnings: slight angst

You walk into the practise room on Monday to find Vixx huddled in a circle right inside the door, laughing over something on Hyuk’s phone.

He calls out to you right away, taking you by surprise. “Noona, hey!”

You pause and look over. “Oh, hello.”

Hyuk holds out his phone toward you. “You took this photo?”

A little warily, you walk just close enough to see what’s on the screen. “Oh. Yes.” It’s the photo of Leo with the restaurant server. “From the dinner on Friday, right?”

For some reason that makes Hyuk burst into a string of giggles, while beside him Ravi and Hongbin snicker amongst themselves. Opposite you, Ken’s grinning widely. Leo’s the only one not amused.

“Don’t show it,” he complains to Hyuk, making a weak lunge for the phone.

“If she’s the one who took the photo, then she’s already seen it,” Ravi points out with a snort.

“Yeah, no point in hiding exactly how drunk you look,” Hyuk says cheerfully.

“Um,” you say. “Is there something wrong?” You’re sure you’ve seen them take photos with members of the general public at all times of day. Surely you’re not in trouble just because you helped take one.

“No,” Hongbin tells you, humour warming his tone. “Leo-hyung just thinks he looks dumb in the photo.”

“He does look dumb,” Hyuk says cheekily, then ducks away from Leo’s incoming throat chop.

“Think of our Starlight babies, Leo-hyung!” Ken chirps. “Aren’t they worth throwing away the last remains of your dignity?”

“I didn’t know he had any dignity left,” Ravi says.

“His dignity is in the negatives now,” Hyuk says.

“Ahh, that makes sense.”

“No, it doesn’t,” says Hongbin, straight-faced.

“Put it away,” Leo’s whining.

“It’s already on Twitter, hyung, everyone’s gonna see it eventually.”

Leo rounds on you with a sharp inhale. “You posted it on Twitter?”

Eh?! “No, I didn’t!” you defend yourself.

“No, no, the fan posted it,” Hyuk corrects.

“I took that photo with her phone,” you add. “For her.”

Leo cedes quickly. “Hm. Right.” He pauses. Then, in a very different tone, he says, “That was nice of you.”

“Oh. Well…” The sudden softness to his voice takes you aback.

“Wait!” Ken suddenly interjects. “That’s when you were inside covering our tip, right?”

“Huh?” Ravi, Hongbin and Hyuk all swivel to look at you.

There’s a sharp inhale from Leo as his eyes widen.

Yikes. You back up from all of their gazes, wondering exactly how Ken remembers all this. And what else does he remember?

“That’s right,” Leo says slowly, the memory apparently dawning on him. “That’s how we ended up taking that photo… because you were inside paying the tip…”

Okay, gotta cut all this reminiscing off. You default back to your most reliable weapon: politeness. “It was a fun dinner, thank you.” You smile vaguely. “Let’s work hard today, too.”

And with a cheesy fistpump, you turn and hurry into the crowd of crew members already setting up along the far side of the room.

Daesuk’s swinging his legs from his perch on the sound system amp that Changyeon’s setting up. “Y/N-ah,” he says, “since when are you so friendly with Vixx?”

“Never mind that, eonni—” Ahwon pushes him over so she can plop down beside him. “—since when do you fistpump and say ‘fighting’???”

“I didn’t say ‘fighting’!” you protest.

“But you fistpumped!”

“...Yeah, okay, I fistpumped.”

Daesuk laughs at your guilty face. “Did they make you?”

“Who?”

“Vixx! You were talking with them for like five minutes.”

“No, Daesuk-ah, they did not make me fistpump.”

“How weird would that be.” Ahwon shudders.

“Hey, kids, move along.” Changyeon comes over to get the amp into place.

“Oh, sorry.” Ahwon and Daesuk hop off.

“Need help, hyung?”

“I’m good. You guys should go warm up before Jaeeun gets here.”

Ahwon’s eyes grow wide. “You’re right.”

Damn. “See, this is another reason why I don’t go to our socials,” you complain jokingly. “Jaeeun-ssaem’s always determined to exercise all the alcohol out of everyone afterward.”

“But that’s how we stay young!” Ahwon leads the way toward the open side of the room. “Work out your liver and your metabolism one day, work out your lungs and your muscles the next.”

“That formula’s got to expire by your thirty-third birthday, latest.”

“So you have three more years, then, Y/N-ah,” Daesuk says. “Yay!”

“Besides, look at Changyeon-oppa, he’s doing great.”

You laugh and settle into a stretch. “True. I guess I’ll aspire to be Changyeon one day.”

“That’s the first time anyone’s ever said that to me,” Changyeon comments as he joins you.

“What about all those times I called you my role model, hyung?” Daesuk demands.

“Yeah, hyung, me too!” Ken’s chipper voice joins your conversation.

You pull out of your stretch and turn cautiously to face him. He’s bouncing on his heels next to your little group with a smile for everyone. Ahwon and Daesuk nod a polite hello, while Changyeon slips into easy banter with Ken.

“Jaehwan-ah, you’ve literally never called me your role model once in the ten years we’ve known each other.”

“Aw, come on, hyung, you know you’re my one and only idol…”

By force of habit, you distance yourself from Ken by drifting over to another corner of the room. Ravi and Hongbin are there; Hongbin’s busy checking his make-up in a compact, but Ravi looks up at your approach.

“Oh—” He stands and greets you. “Hello.”

“Hello.” You nod back, surprised when he starts walking over to you.

Once he’s right in front of you, he clears his throat and reaches into his pocket. Next thing you know, he’s bent in a ninety-degree bow, holding out a stack of bills to you.

“I’m sorry for my poor behaviour last Friday,” he says to the ground, “and for all the trouble I caused you. Please allow me to repay you in return.”

Your eyes bug out. “Uhhhh, it was no bother, you don’t need to pay me.”

He lifts his head and shuffles closer to thrust the bills into your face. “It’s not paying, really—Leo-hyung said you covered our tip, right? So I’m repaying you. As an apology.”

“Ravi-ssi, that’s really not necessary,” you say with a nervous laugh. “Everyone was tipsy, it was fine.”

“Being drunk isn’t an excuse,” he says immediately, which makes your evaluation of him rise several notches. “I shouldn’t have bothered you with that kind of inappropriate behaviour.”

“It didn’t bother me, okay?” You try to think of something reassuring to say. “It wasn’t inappropriate, it was… cute.” Sure, let’s go with that.

His eyes go round. “C-cute?”

“Yes, cute. And funny,” you say firmly, hoping that’ll embarrass him enough to drop it. “So there’s nothing to apologize for.” You nod and prepare to make your exit. “Then…”

“Wait!” He’s wearing a sheepish expression when you turn back around. “Um. Sorry, noonim… I still don’t know your name.”

Oh. “My name is Y/N.” You turn and motion to the other side of the room. “I’m part of Changyeon-sunbae’s dance crew, with Jeong Ahwon, Byeon Hyeomi, Ahn Soonil and Gu Daesuk.” Which reminds you: where are Hyeomi and Soonil?

“Oh, of course I knew you’re part of our dance crew,” Ravi says hastily. “I mean, we’ve been practising together for weeks now.”

You nod vaguely as you sneak a look around. They take the same bus route, so maybe traffic’s bad. At least Jaeeun-saem isn’t here yet either, so the two of them are still in the clear.

As you turn back, you see Leo walking in your direction with a frown. You quickly pivot to face away, but you’re pretty sure he’s coming straight toward you and Ravi.

“Yah.” Leo marches straight past you to plant himself between you and Ravi. “I said I would pay her back.”

“Huh?” Ravi straightens. “What are you talking about?”

Leo pivots to face you, blocking Ravi. “Don’t mind him. I’ll have the amount transferred to your bank account by the end of the day.”

“What?” You’re bewildered by this abrupt declaration. “That’s not necessary—”

“Why?” Ravi demands, elbowing Leo out of the way. “I have the money right here!”

“You don’t even know how much the service charge was.”

“This is a hundred thousand in total, that should be more than enough.”

What?! Who carries around one hundred thousand won in cash?! Slowly you start backing up, step by step, distancing yourself on instinct from all that money.

“Hey, whoa there—”

That’s all the warning you get before you run right into someone. Apologizing on instinct, you turn and find Ken’s smiling, inquisitive face looking down at you. Your stomach flutters.

“Sorry,” you repeat quickly, then move to side-step him and flee this idol-infested corner of the room.

But unfortunately your tiny collision with Ken has drawn Leo’s and Ravi’s attention again. “Y/N-ah!”

What the hell? You whirl to stare at Leo. What’s he hollering your name so loudly for? And what’s with the informal address?

“What’s up, hyung?” Ken tosses an arm around your shoulders, easy as you please, keeping you in place as Leo and Ravi approach. “Ooh, Wonshik-ah, what’s that?”

“Nothing.” Ravi tucks the wad of cash behind his back protectively.

Leo presses forward. “Y/N-ah, I’ll transfer the money to you tonight, please keep an eye out for it.”

“Leo-ssi, that’s not necessary.” Your tone isn’t as firm as you’d like; most of your attention is focused on not squirming uncomfortably underneath the weight of Ken’s arm.

“Oh, for the tip?” Thankfully, he removes his arm to take out his phone. “Here, Y/N-ah, I can do it now. What’s your email?”

“Jaehwan-ah,” Leo says on a displeased hiss, “I’ll do it.”

Ken looks up, eyes wide and innocuous. “Hm? I might as well do it now, though, I have my bank account set up on my phone.”

That prompts Ravi to bring his bills out into the open again. “Wait, I have the money right here! Noonim, please, take it—”

Leo grabs Ravi’s arm and forces it down. “Yah, I said I’d give her the money.”

“What’s the big deal?” Ken’s chuckling beside you.

You look around frantically, searching for anything or anyone who might be able to save you from this surreal situation. Hongbin’s gaze abruptly catches yours; he’s still seated on the bench by the wall, watching you all with an expression of amusement. You widen your eyes, desperate enough to see if you can tell him through facial grimaces to come over and control his hyungs.

Miracle of miracle, it works somehow: he stands leisurely and walks over in time to dodge Ravi as he staggers backward to avoid a swipe from Leo. “Shadow-boxing so early, hyung?”

Leo rounds on him, sufficiently insulted and distracted, while Ravi picks his ass up off the floor with a pout. Ken’s thoroughly entertained as their audience, so you take the chance to make a hasty exit.

But as you turn, you nearly run right into Hyuk. He’s not paying attention to you, looking toward his hyungs curiously, mouth half-open to call to them.

No. That’s going to ruin your escape. Urgently, you grab onto his arm to get his attention. “Uh, Hyuk-ssi.”

He halts, blinking at you in complete surprise like he hadn’t even seen you there. (Maybe he hadn’t, given how much stupidly taller he was.) “Oh, hi, noona.”

“Do you, um…” Yikes, how thick is his forearm?? You let go as you try and come up with something. “Do you know where Hyeomi and Soonil are?”

… Okay, not the greatest. Why would he care about the whereabouts of two back-up dancers? But whatever, at least now he’s not about to draw attention over to where you are.

His brows come together in confusion. “Hm? They’re not here?” He turns to scan the practice room.

And it’s like he’s summoned them or something—or at least, summoned Hyeomi. She comes through the door at that very moment, followed by Jaeeun-saem.

“Oh, there’s Hyeomi-noona…”

You’re no longer paying attention to Hyuk. Hyeomi’s walking in with a shellshocked expression on her face, still holding all her stuff like she came straight to the practice room after getting here, and you’re hurrying toward her before you know it.

“Hyeomi-yah,” you call, and she jerks up her head like she’s been startled out of a daze. Her eyes seem to latch onto your face. “Hyeomi-yah, hey.”

When you reach her, she’s instinctively trying to pull up a smile. “Eonni, hi.”

You put a hand to her shoulder. “Hey, is everything okay? What is it?”

Her smile collapses. “Soonil’s partner is in the hospital.”

“What?” You pull her further into the room, sit her down on an empty chair and crouch beside her. “Since when? For what?”

With clammy hands, Hyeomi slowly puts her things down. “I don’t know, I was just waiting at the bus stop, waiting for him to text me back and let me know if he was taking the bus today, and then he said…”

She fishes her phone out of her bag, swipes to her messages and reads: “‘I’m in the hospital with Dagun. I won’t make it today, I’m sorry.’”

You exhale sharply, stand and look for Changyeon. “When did he send the text?”

“About half an hour ago.”

Changyeon’s greeting Jaeeun-saem by the sound equipment. You start toward him, Hyeomi on your heels.

“Hyeomi,” he greets her, “bad traffic?”

“Sunbae, have you gotten any messages from Soonil?” You cut to the chase.

“Hm? I don’t think so.” He pats his pockets, then realizes, “Oh, my phone’s in the break room. Why?”

Hyeomi holds her phone out to him.

He reads it, and a frown carves itself into his face. “Hang on. I’ll get my phone.” Changyeon heads straight out of the room.

Jaeeun is looking at Hyeomi, concern in her face. “Hyeomi.”

But Hyeomi seems to anticipate what she’s going to say, and quickly ducks a bow. “Thank you very much for the ride. I appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Jaeeun replies, though her frown remains.

Hyeomi turns and heads back toward her things, and you follow her. “Jaeeun-saem drove you in?”

“Yeah. She saw me at the stop and picked me up there.” Hyeomi sinks back down on the chair, and you crouch again and put your hand on her arm.

At that point, Ahwon and Daesuk spot the two of you and ditch warming up to come over.

“Hyeomi-yah! You’re late for once,” Ahwon jokes.

Upon seeing Hyeomi’s expression, Daesuk elbows Ahwon. “Is something wrong?” he asks, gaze flicking to you.

“Soonil’s partner is in the hospital,” you say quietly.

Daesuk’s eyes widen. “You mean Dagun?”

“What? Since when?” Ahwon demands.

“I don’t know, but—remember Soonil left early on Friday?” Hyeomi says.

“Friday…?” Daesuk blanches. “Oh no.”

“That’s why he didn’t text all weekend,” Ahwon says.

“Oh no, and I kept telling him to stay for one more shot.” Daesuk sinks to his haunches next to you. “Oh God.”

Before you can try and reassure him, Changyeon appears in the doorway again. He catches your eye and beckons.

As one, the four of you hurry across the practice room and to Changyeon. He withdraws into the hall, looking grave, and you all crowd after him.

“Hyung, what’s going on?”

“Did Soonil text you anything?”

He nods. “Come to the break room, we’ll talk there.”

In tense silence, you follow Changyeon into the empty break room. His phone is sitting in the middle of the big table; he scoops it up and motions for you to crowd around.

“I’m going to call him,” he informs you, and puts through a video-call before any of you can say anything.

Soonil picks up after a while. “Hyung?”

“Soonil, the team’s here.” Changyeon leans back a bit so the rest of you can crowd into frame.

“Soonil-ah, is everything okay?”

“How’s Dagun?”

As he’s bombarded by concern, you realize: he looks tired, but… relaxed. He’s framed by beige hospital walls and poor fluorescent lighting, and it’s not the most flattering angle, but he looks happy.

“I’m okay,” he says once he can get a word in. “I actually… I have some news to announce.”

You can almost feel Daesuk, Ahwon and Hyeomi hold their breaths, bracing for the worst.

“Dagun-ah and I—we’ve…” He hesitates once more, then says it: “Dagun’s given birth. To our baby.”

Shocked silence.

“Oh my God,” you say. “Soonil. Congratulations! Oh my God!”

That sets off Ahwon: “Soonil-ah! Are you serious?! You were expecting? Jeez, I’m so happy for you!” She jumps on the spot, clinging onto your shoulder so hard it hurts.

Daesuk’s staring, mouth hanging open. “Dagun… was pregnant?”

You elbow him. “Yes, Dagun was pregnant,” you say sternly. “And now Soonil’s a father.”

That seems to get through to him. “Wow, congrats!” he splutters. “Wow, I never imagined … but wow. That’s great, congrats!”

“Yah, Soonil!” Hyeomi sounds like she might tear up. “Why didn’t you tell us anything? We were so worried something terrible had happened!”

“You didn’t message the whole weekend!” you add.

“Is Dagun okay?” Ahwon asks. “He got through all right?”

Soonil nods a little. “It was—at the start, there was some… but he’s fine now,” he says, smile breaking through again. “He’s with Munsik right now.”

“Munsik?” you repeat.

“Munsik??” Ahwon and Hyeomi say at the same time.

“It’s a boy?!” Daesuk says joyfully.

Changyeon just adds a little chuckle, one that Soonil returns.

“Yes. He’s a boy.”

“Oh my God.” You’re starting to tear up, too. “Soonil-ah, I’m so, so happy for you.”

His smile is blinding. “Thank you, everyone. It means a lot.”

“Please tell us next time something happens like this,” Hyeomi says, “we have to emotionally prepare ourselves!”

“Seriously,” Daesuk adds. “One of us is a parent now!”

“Thank you for sharing with us,” Ahwon says, a little choked up. “I’m so glad for you, Soonil-ah.”

Changyeon clears his throat. “You should get back to Dagun, Soonil-ah. I’ll text you about parental leave details later, okay?”

“Right.” Soonil nods, then hesitates. “…Shall I send photos of him? Munsik?”

You, Daesuk, Ahwon and Hyeomi all shout “YES!” at once. The volume causes Changyeon to leap backward half a foot from surprise, dropping his phone on the table, and everyone scrambles to pick it up again.

Soonil’s laughing, and it almost makes your heart ache to see him this happy. “Okay. I’ll send photos.”

With that reassurement, you say goodbye in a flurry of cheer and contentment, and Changyeon ends the call.

For a moment you just stare at each other, eyes shining.

“Oh my God.” You let out a long breath and drop into a chair. “Oh my God, I can’t believe it.”

“Thank God,” Hyeomi says fervently. “I’m so glad it was good news.”

Daesuk just shakes his head. “Soonil. A dad.”

Ahwon sniffs. “I think I’m going to cry.”

“Don’t!” Daesuk says immediately. “You’ll make me cry!”

“But I’m so happy.”

You laugh, overcome with the urge to hug them all one by one.

“If only he’d told us earlier,” Hyeomi says.

“I’m sure he had reasons why he didn’t,” Changyeon says calmly. “And I think we should keep this among ourselves for now, until he decides to let others know.”

“Of course,” Hyeomi hastens to agree. Then she smiles wider. “But we’re getting baby photos!”

“It’s weird,” you say, “I don’t like baby photos. But I really want to see Soonil’s.”

“No, you don’t like random strangers’ baby photos,” Ahwon corrects you. “But this is Soonil.”

“It’s Soonil,” Daesuk agrees.

You close your eyes and let your fondness for your team expand inside you until you think you might explode from it, might float away and live forever like this, eyes closed and smiling and so happy.

“Everyone,” Changyeon says, “we do still have practice.”

That brings you all back down to earth.

“Ah, you’re right.” You stand from the chair, then can’t help bouncing on the balls of your feet. “I feel like I could dance forever, right now.”

“Same,” Hyeomi agrees.

“We’re gonna kill Jaeeun-ssaem’s post-drinking routine,” Ahwon says with determination. “Come on, let’s go!”

Outside the practice room, you all school your expressions and do your best to walk back in with straight faces and neutral answers to the other crews’ curious questions. It’s easy enough to say “Soonil just has a family thing, nothing serious.” But damn is it hard to hide the buoyancy within you, the sheer joy that your entire crew is feeling right now.

Jaeeun-saem’s exercise routine only serves to fuel the feelings higher as the endorphins start to overload your brain. When she finally ends the routine, you’re sweaty but still pratically vibrating with energy.

Impulsively, you turn to Hyeomi beside you and draw her into a hug. “Good work, Hyeomi-yah.”

She laughs and squeezes you tight. “You too, eonni!”

You’re both laughing as you part, and you think maybe a few other crew members are wondering why you seem so hysterical, but you don’t even care.

As Daesuk passes by, you give him a hug too. “Daesuk-ah, good job today,” you say, hiding your massive smile against his shirt.

“I know,” he replies happily as he returns your hug without hesitation.

“Are you actually going to say ‘fighting’ this time, eonni?” You turn to see Ahwon grinning at you, a mirror to your expression.

“Maybe I will,” you taunt, and grab her in a hug. “Ahwon-ah, you did good today!”

“Fighting, eonni!” she teases back, and both of you laugh before you let go.

When you turn the other way, a little tipsy from sheer joy, there’s someone else beside you. “Are we giving free hugs today?”

It’s a warm voice. It’s Ken’s voice. You look up, and it’s like the sight of his beautiful smiling face is an adrenaline shot straight through your blood, through your mind, through your heart.

“Good work, Jaehwan-ah!” you say without thinking.

And then you hug him.

← chapter one: crush // chapter three: hug →

#vixx #vixx fic #vixx fanfic #vixx x reader #ken x reader #lee jaehwan #eaf original #eaf writes vixx #eaf: falling into the sky

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eottoghe · 5 years

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Little Boxes - Thirteen

A Jeonghceol Domestic AU where they live in suburbia with their six year old son Chan. Jeonghan is an active member of the PTA, a soccer dad and chauffeur, and a supportive parent all around. His loving husband cares deeply for his passions and will follow him to the end of the world if it keeps him and his family happy. Follow their journey as they get caught up in fun and zany adventures when they fall outside of the guide lines of your average neighbor. Don’t really know where I’m going with this, but I want to see how many different domestic prompts I can get out of this AU before I run out of steam.

First Chapter

Previous Chapter

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It’s Monday. Chan usually doesn’t like Mondays all that much because they mean having to restart his routine of waking up too early and sitting through reading time for what seems like foreeeever. There’s no Saturday morning cartoons on Mondays and no Seungcheol-appa to cuddle with on the couch while they eat Cocoa Pebbles. But today is a special Monday. Why?

Because he is officially turning seven years old today!

He doesn't feel any different. Not yet anyway. But he's excited, nonetheless. He likes holidays. All kinds of holidays because most of them only come once a year. And this is the one time a year he gets a holiday all to himself.

At school, Jeonghan shows up right before lunch time with two rectangular boxes nestled close to his chest and a red tote bag hanging off his shoulder. The classroom instantly goes mum at the spectacle before them, thrilled whispers and inconspicuous glances being passed around the room. They know the drill.

They’re all getting really good at math so they can easily spot the solution to this equation. If they sang Happy Birthday to Chan at the start of the class and his parent comes to the classroom during lunch time, then the boxes in his hands must be cupcakes! It happens often enough for them to know, but the excitement never really wears off.

“I can help you, Mr. Choi!”

“No, me!”

“I can get the napkins!”

The kids jump at the opportunity to help hand out the goodies. It’s a great feeling because Jeonghan knows in a few years, it’ll be torture just asking for a simple chore to get done. For now, he revels in the kindness that they exude and smiles the same gentle smile that won them over during the first fundraiser event he’d helped with.

Chan gets out of his seat, running to his dad. He hugs his thighs and Jeonghan has to re-balance himself to make sure the cupcakes don’t go flying due to the sheer magnitude of the impact. Chan showing public affection? He’s put aside his childhood bravado just for this sweet moment and Jeonghan couldn’t be more soft for it.

“Please stay in your seats. I’ll choose a couple of you to hand out napkins and Mr. Choi and I will pass out the cupcakes.” Their teacher calls out to the class. Chan is reluctant to pull away but thinks about getting a red sticker on his birthday. He would hate hate hate getting a red sticker any day for not listening and even more if its on this day so he scurries off to his table and plops back down in his mustard yellow, plastic seat. He is beaming at his dad with rose dusted cheeks as his classmates say happy birthday to him and high five him from where they sit. He loves the attention even if he still gets shy sometimes.

Once they’re back settled and the two designated helpers pass out all of the napkins to each kid, Jeonghan and the teacher divide and conquer. Jeonghan was smart and decided to purchase cupcakes that were as uniform as possible. He knows how picky kids can be and wanted to avoid arguments over who got what.

Chan gets first pick though and his table is glad to have the birthday boy in their assigned group because that means they get next pick. Jeonghan and the teacher go table by table, weaving between the chattering children bouncing in their chairs. The chirped thank you’s rang out in high pitched squeals as they dug into the sugary sweet cupcakes, blue frosting staining their tongues. (Probably the best kind of treats are ones that can be shown off by their visual residue).

As they eat and talk amongst themselves, Chan’s teacher starts up a conversation with Jeonghan standing shoulder to shoulder, looking out across the classroom. “Thank you for coming in today. The kids just seem to adore you, Mr. Choi.” The teacher is a bit new and exultant in her teaching methods. She hasn’t been beaten down by the hardships that come along with the job yet so every moment she sees the kids smile is a win in her book.

“I do my best. I love kids. In another life, I could see myself as a teacher at a school like this one.” He laughs to himself thinking about how completely exhausted he’d be with small aged children filling up every corner of his life. It’s not much different from now only he doesn’t have to deal with the responsibility that accompanies teaching at a public school.

“I could see that too. Chan is always talking about you and your partner like you’re the best things that ever happened to him. We’re so lucky to have Chan and you both as his supporters. He’s got lots of friends here and he’s such a cheerful kid.”

Jeonghan, try as he may, is unable to stop the proud smile from spreading across his reddening face. He feels his ears tingle, looking at the ground to avoid the eyes of the grateful woman.

“Thank you. I feel secure with him in your care.” He nods his head in mutual appreciation. He definitely doesn’t pop in to the classroom nearly as much as he did in the beginning of the year when he couldn’t trust any teacher to govern over his one and only child for such a significant portion of the day. He thinks she’s done well.

She reminds the class that they should RSVP to Chan’s birthday party by tomorrow after Jeonghan mentions it in their casual talk. She also gives her thanks to Jeonghan for giving an invite to every kid as feeling left out in this age is such a saddening thing to see on a child’s face. Invitations were handed out a week ago and Chan was happy to report that everyone seemed eager.

They close out the mini celebration with Chan being wished happy birthday one more time in a cacophonous harmony. Jeonghan kneels and gives him a quick kiss on his forehead before the now seven-year-old decides it’s too embarrassing. The extra cupcakes are left for the other teachers Chan might want to share with and Jeonghan hands over some extra hand sanitizer bottles and tissues he bought for the classroom. The teacher thanks him once more and he’s off.

Chan still has a couple hours left of school so he decides to stop by a Michael’s craft store to avoid the drive back home just to turn around and fight traffic back. There’s still shopping to do for the vast decorations he has yet to gather. He was so inspired, he even made a moodboard from various Pinterest posts he’d come across. Chan wanted a Jurassic Park theme and it allowed Jeonghan to let his creativity set sail.

He’d picked up the plates, cups, and utensils all in a convenient party pack from Party City along with table cloths and enough supplies to craft some pretty kick ass goodie bags. What he’s most excited about though is the zookeeper outfits they’d come across. It took lots of asking around, but they’d found some. The adult size was definitely going to fit Seungcheol better than himself (He was biased. He thought Seungcheol was smoking in everything he wore), but it worked out well enough that when they all stood together, they looked like they were off on an expedition, slashing through vines and palm fronds deep in the jungle. Chan loved it (He was biased. He loved everything).

He’d also already ordered the “party hats”. Of course, they weren’t any regular party hats. If Jeonghan had been any regular person or a part of any regular family then maybe he would have done the regular thing. BUT he’s Yoon Jeonghan and decided that the “party hats” would in fact be Safari hats and made sure to order them in bulk early.

So now he’s pushing a cart through the crowded aisles of Michael’s with Jisoo balanced between his head and his shoulder, speaking animatedly through his cell phone.

“You invited the entire class and the soccer team?” Josh stresses. He wishes Jeonghan would have mentioned the number of expected guests before he signed on for this project.

“It’s not that bad. Not everyone will show up. You know how these things go.” Jeonghan shrugs his shoulder as if the other can see him, brushing off his questioning tone. He’s cutting his eyes back and forth between two very different styles of leaves. Leaves larger than his head surround him in the plastic flowers section. He picks up a handful of both under the guise that the jungle has many different types of plants. He doesn’t have to be climatically accurate. These children won’t be able to tell the difference when they’re maxed out on sugar.

“It’s Valentine’s weekend. Literally everyone is coming because parents are going to dump them for a few hours of alone time.”

“Oh… I forgot to get Valentine cards for the class. Thanx for the reminder.” Jeonghan answers, his mind drifting a few aisles down to where he remembers inflated, pink balloons and mega stuffed teddy bears. He considers getting one for Seungcheol. Seungcheol’s a lot softer than he looks.

“Hannie… This is going to be really expensive… Seungcheol does know all that you’ve planned right?”

“Yah! Stop scolding me. I’m a grown man.” Jeonghan feigns exasperation, but he bursts into a fit of giggles before he can finish. “It’s fine. I’ve been saving up. And don’t try and turn my husband against me. He’s very much so on board with me…” He mumbles after, “…sort of.”

“So on top of helping you set up, you’re calling me in to babysit too.”

“It’ll be fun. Your daughter and Chan can have a play date while we get ready and she’ll pretty much babysit herself at the party. It’ll be great.”

~~~~

Great is an understatement.

From the front of their home, much isn’t revealed to the expectant children being dropped off. In fact, the house is still difficult to find due to the 50 other ones built with the exact same model. What sets it apart are the shiny apple red and onyx black balloons tied to the mailbox and the sign hanging on the door saying, “Welcome to Jurassic Park”.

The kids are met at the door by Jeonghan (the responsible one who is actually paying attention to the doorbell) and are led through the simple living room, hopping along plastic dinosaur tracks that are set out. The sliding door leading to the backyard is opaque, covered in a dark backdrop, obscuring the view to the party happening just on the other side. But they can hear music and laughter and the anticipation balls up and rolls through their tummies.

When the door finally draws opens, it attracts them in like a beacon, beckoning forth the tiny adventurers into the wonderful world of dinosaurs. Joshua stands at the entryway with safari hats to hand out. It’s such a funny thing to see the kids blank, sensory spasms making it hard to decide what to avert their attention to first.

There’s greenery everywhere and it truly feels like their own little contained jungle. Wooden planks jut out on display with caution tape strategically draped over them; the fraying at the tips looks like they’d been ripped through. Beware posters tie in the setting.

A table is filled with snacks and foods all made to fit the theme. White chocolate covered pretzels transform into dinosaur bones, doughnut holes dusted with sugar mimic unhatched eggs. Pudding cups with dirt-like, cookie crumbles sprout miniscule palm trees and the tiniest dinosaur figurines. And there’s chicken nuggets! There’s a tyrannosaurus and brachiosaurus and some other saurus they still can’t pronounce. Seungcheol has the grill going and the smoke makes it look like a volcano has erupted in the background.

And is that… a bounce house? In the backyard?!?!

(Jeonghan may or may not have rented that one without Seungcheol’s knowledge but when the crew came knocking to set it up, there was little he could do to argue about it.)

And yes, Jeonghan will admit he outdid himself this time, but he was damn proud of his work. They all were impressed. “You should consider party planning. This looks great!”, his husband said in awe when he’d seen the finish product of Jeonghan’s creation. But with great power comes great responsibility. And responsibility brought big headaches.

The night before, he got the minimum amount of sleep preparing. Everyone helped, but once it got late, he coerced them into bed while his hyperactive, perfectionist mind fussed over the most minute details. He’d ended up finishing the goodie bags, creating labels for the food and pre-made all the snacks he could get away with. He’d hit the bed at around 4 a.m. and woke up hours later to get the backyard ready. On top of mild sleep deprivation, the inevitable over protective side of him resurfaced as the children ran freely, playing make believe. He was stressed™.

“You look like you need a nap.” Joshua sidles up next to him, poking his cheek.

“I just want everything to be perfect.” He admits with a sigh and a tired smile.

Joshua pans over the immaculate scene of their movie-set-ready layout. Seungcheol cooking on the grill as he nods along to the music, the kids—Chan cheesing so hard, letting forth such an innocent, unbridled laugh that breaks the heavens open to let pure sunlight spill down upon them.

Joshua thinks this is perfect. The party. Their family.

“You’re doing amazing. Everyone is enjoying themselves. You should too.” Joshua rubs his hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner. “I’m listening out for the door, go talk to Seungcheol and grab something to eat. Relax.”

Jeonghan takes his advice.

He opens his mouth to say something and instead gets it filled with a piece of meat hot off the grill.

“I just finished up. How’s it taste?” Seungcheol already knows the answer but asks anyway with a knowing smirk.

“It’s haa… Whew. It’s hot.” Jeonghan speaks around the beef burning his tongue. The flavor is savory, but when he says hot off the grill he means it in its entirety. “Yummy.”

Seungcheol kisses him on the cheek, pulling him into a side hug with one arm loosely around his waist.

“I can’t believe I’m really going to do this.” Seungcheol speaks after a minute of watching the kids play.

“It’s really adorable what you’re doing. They’re going to love it.”

“Sure hope so.”

“Hurry up and go! I wanna cut the cake.” He honestly doesn’t mind what time the cake gets cut. The younger brunette is finally starting to relax and knows that this portion of his day will be the most iconic. Although Jeonghan had planned the majority of this party, Seungcheol planned something of his own. And this one was a surprise.

“Oh no! Kids watch out!” Jeonghan shouts a warning to the crowd playing in the patch of grass. They all look up, startled and Jeonghan makes sure he has the camera rolling.

In less than a second, their attention focuses in on the person(?) standing by the sliding door. It’s…

A dinosaur?

They don’t move or speak for a second.

And then they hear a roar. The dinosaur darts out toward their huddle. They scatter, screaming like they’re being chased by an actual creature and not a grown man in an inflatable dinosaur suit. Screams melt into giggles and the laughter builds as the kids continue to run away from who they’ve now realized is just some clumsy person fumbling around in a costume.

Chan doesn’t know who it is until the dinosaur trips over its own feet, landing ungracefully in the grass. His yelp is distinguishable even between the screams and laughs and music.

“Daddy!” Chan runs up to the dinosaur, any possibility of him being afraid flying out the window. By the time Seungcheol finds his way back up, Chan runs into his legs with a tight hold. It sends the dinosaur back to the ground and soon all the kids are piling up on the lump of dino dad roaring unconvincingly.

Joshua and Jeonghan stand by each other, every single second of it caught on video. They’re holding their stomachs with how hard they’re laughing. He imagines this being one of those clips that end up on AFV.

It takes a while to get everyone to calm down. Eventually, they make it to the table to eat and sing happy birthday and share slices of cake. Pictures were taken. So many pictures. And the night ends with children slowly being picked up while they cuddle around the couch and watch the latest Jurassic World movie.

Right before Chan falls asleep, he pulls both of his dads in for a hug, an arm around the neck of each.

“Thank you for the best day ever.” He yawns with the same smile he’s adorned all day. Truly, it hasn’t left his face once.

Jeonghan thinks he can finally rest now. A successful weekend it was.

~~~

Finally got to posting the birthday chapter on here. Tumblr has... changed? There’s not a function to add a line to separate things anymore??? Oof. I’m on twitter now :) @eottoghe

#jeongcheol #seungcheol #jeonghan #coupshan #seunghan #dino #lee chan #fanfic #seventeen

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prettywordsyouleft · 6 years

Text

Becoming Human - Chapter 9

Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

“So far he seems to be progressing well, all levels of his intelligence have improved from last time he sat in this chair.” Doctor Jung spun around on his seat and smiled at me. “How have you found him?”

I glanced at Leo, offline for the very first time in front of me. His eyes were closed and he looked peaceful in his resting state. I smiled. “It’s been an adjustment from just interacting at work with a robot. I admit my original stance has changed.”

“What do you mean?”

“I never understood the need for them. My background in psychology found some people who used them generally sounded like they could do with some psycho-therapy treatment for their social anxiety issues. I feel like my opinion is changing. Leo has made me question a lot about my own way of existing in the past three days.”

The doctor chuckled and took off his glasses. “Miss Choi, you mentioned to me about my thesis the other day and how this is a waste of my talent. This lab is creating miracles every day. Psychologists sit in an office and give an hour a week to their clients to help them. My bots can be in your home and be a listening ear. They won’t judge you for your faults but find ways to build you back up. Isn’t that a blessing?”

“Leo isn’t like that. He has opinions. He has experienced multiple emotions already. I feel like he could help people further. In a way, the current AI program is giving false confidence. Yes it works and I believe there is a place for it, but humans won’t build you up the same and can bring all that falsity right back down on the customer in one blow. I’m not saying everything about Leo’s mannerisms is desirable, but I’m learning a lot from him in how he views the human race. We are crueller than I imagined.”

“Do you worry about your own blurring of lines around Leo? You have stated in your files before that is your biggest concern of customers. Can you feel that?”

I didn’t respond immediately, my mind thinking over the small instances we’ve had. Even earlier this morning our fight had felt organic and I hadn’t even felt there was a difference in us. Human and robot weren’t a factor, even though I had used it as his weakness, on a whole, I had viewed him as just Leo during that moment. Biting my lip, I looked up at the man and finally sighed. “I’m unsure if I will fully blur lines but sometimes he does seem more human than he should.”

“In three days you’ve managed that conclusion. It will be interesting to see the version of yourself in a month’s time. Gunhee will keep me updated with your progress, but let’s meet up for another session of looking into his functions within a week’s time.”

I nodded and got to my feet, watching as the doctor pressed a few buttons on the screen that allowed the lines that were hooked to Leo’s neck to wake him back up. His eyes slowly opened and he looked around the room, his focus finally landing on me. He smiled warmly and I couldn’t help but feel at ease to see him alert again.

“Did you rest well, Leo?” Doctor Jung removed the cables and the robot glanced at him, nodding once. “Good. We need to let Miss Choi go to work now. You can come and watch how we do things in the lab if you like.”

“Really?!” He got off the chair and straightened himself up, waiting beside the doctor eagerly. “I can really have a place here?”

“I need to watch you in action too, come on.”

“One moment, doctor.” Leo then grabbed my arm and took me out of the room, leading me down the hallway before stopping. He smiled again at me and reached to muss my hair a little, my hand instantly moving to smack it away.

“What are you doing?!”

He leaned down into my face a little, still smiling giddily. “It’s my first day having a job; I feel very happy right now. And I get to do what I wanted to the last time you left me in that room to go back to work.”

“And what’s that?”

“Have a good day,” he said, placing his hands on my shoulders. “I’ll see you later.”

And with that, he went back to the Doctor’s office. I, however, was reeling from the interaction, my heart beating faster the more I repeated the sentence internally. I’ll see you later.

It felt odd to have someone out there waiting to see me again in their day. I found there was a bounce in my step as I made my way back to my department, smiling and greeting my co-workers happily. Even Daniel waved at my arrival and I grinned brightly back at him, before sitting down at my desk.

“Something good happened to you,” Sohyun stated, leaning around to observe me more closely. She gasped and grabbed onto my arm. “You have a boyfriend?!”

“Yah!” I hissed and shook my head rapidly. “You know that’s so not the case.”

“You look like you’re in love though. Like you have someone who waits for you.”

I froze at her choice of wording and then shook my head and hands at the same time. “Honestly, your imagination.”

“Right, you claim dating is for those who have too much time on their hands.” Sohyun tilted her head to the side and then laughed. “Maybe you should be forced into a situation where you have to interact with another guy. You might find yourself falling for him way too quickly because you’ve lacked dating experience.”

“Let’s work, yeah?” I told her, feeling a little haunted at how her words were lining up. Thankfully, once switching on my headset the first call was connected. I noticed the caller was calling from overseas and made effort to answer in English. “Welcome to KBoys Cyborg Call Centre, you’re speaking with Yerin, how may I help you today?”

“Hi Yerin, it’s Kate Sheparton here, how are you?”

Looking at the screen, I realised it was one of our top weekly callers and composed myself for what her predicament was today. She was sweet in nature but rang way too many times. Mostly for unnecessary things, like how to train her Junhoe to cook more authentic meals or how to stop him from looking in the mirrors more often than she did. I cleared my throat and smiled. “I’m fine, thank you, how can I assist you?”

“I’d like to trade in my Junhoe, please. He’s just a complete nightmare. I’ve had enough of his behaviours and need a new idol that can suit me better instead.”

I was shocked, just last week she was gushing to me about how she would marry him if it were legal to do so. “Are you sure that is something you’d like to proceed with? Once it’s done, we won’t be able to fully return him in the future if you change your mind again.”

“I’m certain, today was the last straw. I asked him who was more beautiful and he answered himself. Without even hesitating! I cannot be with someone so condescending anymore. So can I purchase a face-up please?”

“Certainly, who would you like to swap to?” I went through to the face-up request aspect in her file and waited for her selection.

“It’s an easy choice and someone who I feel is more mature completely. Johnny Seo from NCT, please.”

I paused, remembering crossing TV channels once and finding the idol in question doing bird impressions on Weekly Idol. Trying not to laugh, I clicked into the idol she requested and started the process. After explaining to her what to expect next, I finished the call and then thought over my reaction towards the girl.

I was starting to feel uncomfortable in who I was, realising how judgmental I could be towards some of the things I thought of customers. Although I was nothing but professional on the phone, it had never bothered me beforehand on how I would view some people. Vowing to be more productive and less opinionated for the rest of the day, I picked up the next call, hoping my work day would finish on a better note than I had started it.

Next chapter

A/N: Is that... expectation building in Yerin?! Doctor Jung is right, look at how many changes have occurred in three days. Who knows what else might change?

Next chapter will be posted Monday 3rd (NZST)!

Want to be added to the notified list? Leave a comment or reblog letting me know that you wish to get tagged in the upcoming chapters! Thanks everyone for the continued support!

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#jung taekwoon #taekwoon #vixx #vixx leo #leo #vixx fiction #vixx fanfic #vixx imagines #vixx scenario #vixx au #vixx fluff #taekwoon fiction #taekwoon fanfic #taekwoon imagine #taekwoon scenario #taekwoon au #taekwoon fluff #prettywordsyouleft writes #pwyl; different kisses

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universetwo · 6 years

Text

[Monday to Saturday] Chapter 2. - Wonwoo’s Counseling Day

Chapter 1 ✧ Warmup Post ✧ Masterlist

Still recovering from yesterday's adventure, it takes a while for me to get up from bed. Thankfully, I only have classes in the afternoon so I still have time to get ready. When I slowly step out from my room, I notice Joshua hyung on the couch, staring blankly in front of him.

"Hyung, what's going on?" I ask him while I rub the sleepiness away from my eyes. He is still looking at the space in front of him, not turning towards my direction.

"I'm thinking about closing the Christian club," he sighs and finally looks up at me. "There are only two people in the club. Me and the girl from my Asian history class who I'm pretty sure is actually Buddhist. Which I have nothing against, of course. But I keep wondering why she wants to be in the club."

"Oh I wonder too," I say sarcastically but Joshua hyung just doesn't get it. We all know that girl has had a crush on him ever since high school. It's just amazing how he has a zero clue about it when that girl basically follows him everywhere. "But is it that hard to get more people in the club?"

"Yes, it is. I put up so many fliers around the hallways and even in the café I hand them out to people. But nobody is interested. Do you remember when I stood in the freezing weather outside the café to play on my guitar and sing Christian songs? People just threw snowballs at me…" he complains and I pat his back as I pass by him on my way to the kitchen. I pour tea for Joshua hyung and myself and I join him on the couch.

"I know it's hard but you should not give up. Maybe you need to find some other methods," I shrug but he shakes his head. He sips his tea then looks at me with his deep doe eyes.

"Wonwoo-yah, I tried everything. The only thing I can do is force them into the club but that's not nice!"

"Hm… maybe you can. But in a kind way." I say while suddenly getting up and running to get my laptop. "You know there are a lot of people who do not behave well in the library. They either trash some place or destroy textbooks. Some even went against the main rules of the library," I explain but I can still see the confusion in Joshua hyung's eyes.

"Okay, but how does that come to my problem?"

"I give you a deal. I guess you don't really have a place for your club meetings, am I right?" Hyung nods slightly. "And you don't even offer food for the people who come?"

"Well, it's really just the two of us…"

"True, but you need to give something to these people. So for one, there is a room on the third floor that is a conference room for professors but they only use it in the early morning. But on the afternoon, you could use it. And people who go against our library rules can be punished by going to your club. What do you say?"

"Wonwoo, I don't think you understand. This is a Christian club! This is not for punishing people but the opposite and what if they are not even Christian?" Objected Joshua hyung but I waved my hand around.

"You don't understand. These people are wrong, they are going against our rules so they should learn how to behave and how can they learn that? Well, through God! And wait for the best part, Mingyu can bake cookies!" Joshua hyung by this point has enough of my shit but I truly feel like I could make this plan work.

"And just why would Mingyu bake cookies for us? And for free?"

"Of course. That boy loves to bake and he has to practice for his culinary club. He wants to open his own café one day, so I think he would be up for this. Trust that to me. But listen, so do you want me to write to my boss about it?" I ask him seriously while he puts his head down and gets deep into his thoughts.

"It's worth a try," he sighs then I start to type the email for my professor.

Then comes a sudden knock on the door and since I'm writing the email Joshua hyung stands up and walks over to the door. When he opens it, I can immediately feel the negative energy floating in the room. With a loud thump, lethargic looking Hansol gives out a deep sigh. I feel like there is too much sighing in the room today and it's still just 10AM.

"Okay, now what's your problem?" I ask, looking up from my laptop. Hansol looks at me with eyes that look like as if he is about to tell me my cat just died. But I don't have a cat, neither does he.

"Hyung, I am a failure," he replies then he buries his head in his hands. I look at Joshua hyung, who suddenly is not the most lost person in the room.

"What happened?" asks Joshua when after two minutes Hansol still hasn't continued with telling his problem.

"I failed one of the most important essays that I had to write for my class this semester. If I fail this then I'm probably going to get a really low grade at the end of the semester and… that is not going to look good for my major," he says while still having his head in his hands.

"Come on, we have all been there but we all recovered from it," I brush it off and I scoot closer to my dongsaeng to pat his back.

"Well except for Jeonghan who had to retake an entire class just so he could continue with his major," says Joshua hyung and I give him a look.

"I don't think that's helping," I tell him and he looks confused. Hansol in the meantime raises his head up and looks at me with sad puppy eyes.

"I want to change my major," he declares.

"That's a good idea. If you don't like philosophy then why should you suffer through it?" I ask and he nods.

"But I don't know what I could change it to… I'm quite confused."

"We have all been there at one point in college. And you know what I did?" Asks Joshua hyung from Hansol who looks at him with high expectations.

"I turned to God and I found confidence in my path," he replies and I try to hold back my laugh.

"Hyung, you know I don't have a problem with God, but at this point now I feel like I need to take things into my own hands and I can't just sit around waiting for an answer from him," says Hansol. I look at the clock hanging by the door and I realize I have one hour to get to my class. And I haven't even dressed up yet.

"Okay guys, maybe you should go and discuss…" I want to say but the door suddenly opens and a zombie looking Seokmin walks in. I guess Joshua didn't close the door when Hansol came in.

Seokmin looks like he just ran a marathon and with sweaty clothes, he lays down on the other couch and starts sobbing.

"I feel like I should write on the door, "Jeon Wonwoo's Counseling Clinic, everyday open at whatever the damn time you want to bother me not caring about that I have to go to class," I say while I go up to Seokmin who probably didn't even get what I was saying.

"Hyung, what's wrong?" Asks Hansol before I can.

"I asked out the girl I had a crush on but she just laughed in my face," he sobs and I look at Joshua hyung and Hansol who look concerned. Well, it is definitely not a good day today.

"Is Seokmin hyung here?" Runs through the door Seungkwan who is a bit out of breath.

"Yeah, he is here, dying," I say and I notice I only have forty minutes left. I leave to go to the kitchen to prepare some food for myself.

"He texted me that he is going to come here so I ran from our dorm. Hyung, are you okay? Was she really that mean?" Asks Seungkwan who sits down on the floor just so he can face Seokmin.

"It's not enough that she took the position I wanted in the Student Council but now she also breaks my heart and embarrasses me," he sighs.

"It's really mean of her just to laugh in your face. Are you sure you said the right words and that you didn't misunderstand something?" assures Joshua hyung but Seokmin just simply nods.

"Her face is just burned into my memory. I will never forget how she looked at me," he replies then he turns on his stomach and buries his face in Joshua's Sponge Bob cushion.

"I think it's time for you to quit the Student Council," says Seungkwan while patting his back.

"No way!" I yell, which makes all of them jump and even the bread falls out of my hand. "You need to get yourself together. She is a mean girl for laughing at your genuine feelings like that so you should not let the evil win. You need to get back on your feet and go into the next meeting as if nothing happened. Trust me, if she sees that you are completely fine even if she rejected you, then she might think about you differently," I advise but I don't know if my words came across.

"I'm home," I can hear Soonyoung coming through the door. "Wait, why are you all here and why do you guys look like you are preparing for a funeral?"

"It all started with Joshua who doesn't know what to do with his Christian club, then Hansol came in who is probably going to fail his class and wants to change his major but has no idea to what, then lastly, Seokmin just came in with a serious heartbreak and Seungkwan is here to console him," I explain while I quickly try to consume my food. "Oh, and none of them care that I'm going to be late for class."

"I see. The situation is worse than I thought. General Jeon, from this moment General Kwon will take over and will try to mend all broken hearts and minds. So go on and leave." Soonyoung says with a serious military-like voice. I chuckle then I give him a high five and I get back to my room to change. After ten minutes I enter the living room and the chaos is just the same. Seokmin is still sobbing, Joshua is telling Hansol about God but Hansol is having enough of it, Seungkwan is arguing with Soonyoung about what Seokmin should do. But this is just a regular day in our dorm.

In this chaos, I forgot totally about what happened last night in the cinema. In fact, I only get reminded of it when Mingyu texts me and sarcastically asks how is my imaginary girlfriend doing. Sometimes I wish messaging apps would have a feature where you could get your hand through the screen to the other side to be able to hit an annoying person. But then our world would become extremely violent.

What I can do is just to ignore for now. I want to text him something mean but I realize I need to hold back my fingers if I want him to do a favor for Joshua and his club. I need to be nice to him.

I have a Financial and Behavioral Economics class followed by a shorter class about 19th-century British authors and their works. My area of concentration is fiction so I get to read a lot of classic novels from around the world. I do find my economics classes interesting, but there is something about these writing/literature classes that are a bit more captivating. Only if they could help me with writing the script. But for that, I would have to take a film class.

After I'm done with my classes, I meet up with Mingyu and Minghao who are sitting in the café where Joshus usually works. Today he is off, so we don't get any free leftover pastries. Mingyu is working hard on a design that he has to do for his class. It's a logo for a company that the professor made up. While Minghao is looking at the A4 sized photographs that he developed today for a project. I just take out my laptop and sit there quietly, thinking about the changes I could make in the script.

"Mingyu told me you have a girlfriend, but he started to laugh so I didn't really understand what he meant," Minghao speaks up once Mingyu goes to the restroom. I sigh deeply and imagine hitting that tall crazy guy.

"I don't have a girlfriend, he is just being stupid," I say but Minghao looks at me like he wants to hear more, so I continue. "Yesterday I went to the local cinema because Jihoon gave me keys to one of the screening rooms. He said I should watch some romantic movies in order to get an inspiration for the script but there I met some weird girl and now they think she is just imaginary and I made up the whole story."

"But why would you do that?"

"Good question! Finally someone with a brain," I exclaim and Minghao laughs.

"Oh right, I just remembered. I talked to one of my classmates about the script and she said she can help. She is in most of my film classes as her major is film production. Actually, one of her majors. The other one is history. And she likes to write novels and short stories in her free time. She said she would be happy to help and she wouldn't ask for anything in return," tells me Minghao and suddenly I feel a huge pressure just got lifted up from my shoulders and I can breathe.

"That's amazing Hao! I really want to talk to her. Do you have her number?"

"No, not yet, but I can ask tomorrow or when I see her," he smiles and I feel happy that he is doing this for me. He is just amazing.

When Mingyu comes back I explain to him The Joshua Project.

"So you want me to bake cookies just so more people can come to hyung's club?" He makes sure he understood well and I nod.

"I think that's a good idea. And it's nice of Wonwoo hyung for being so considerate about Joshua's situation," says Minghao and I smile at him. I feel like this sweet boy is always on my side.

"No, Wonwoo hyung sure can be a nice person but he is weird. I'm certain there is some bigger motivation in it for him," looks Mingyu at me with squeezed eyes like as if he is trying to see through me.

"Ah, come on. I just want some bad kids to be good kids. They need to go through soul cleansing and Joshua can help with that," I wave my hand and Mingyu gives up, for now.

"I mean I like baking and sometimes you have enough of trying my creations. So it's good to get a new audience. Tell hyung that I'm in it and he should let me know when he needs them," adds Mingyu and I nod in agreement.

After our short meet up in the café, I had to the library for work. I meet with my boss and we discuss Joshua's club situation. She agrees that it would be nice to have better regulations at our library and she likes the idea of a Christian club, especially as she is Christian herself.

I'm reading the assigned chapter for one of my Economics class when the small bell on the circulation desk in front of me rings. I look up to see Junhui with a huge box of fried chicken.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I ask but he just swings the box around.

"Let me in," he says, then I open the little door for him so he can come behind the desk. He pulls up one of the high stool chairs where my boss usually sits and puts the box on the desk. He gives me a pair of chopsticks and some napkins and motions towards the food.

"You must be hungry," he says and he is so right.

"I am but one of the rules is that we cannot eat in the library so…" I try to protest but he shoves some chicken in my mouth. When I taste the well-fried food I immediately forget about the rules.

"I wanted to talk to you about yesterday," he says as he is chewing. He swallows then he cleans it off with some iced coffee then he turns to me. "I know you often see me in this situation and sometimes I'm afraid I act mean towards you when you just try to stand on my side and help me." He starts and I quietly continue to eat as I don't know where he is trying to go. Thankfully my boss left already so we are not going to be interrupted by her. Junhui doesn't always open up to me. Sometimes weeks go by if not months between more heart to heart conversations but when he does open up, I can tell that too many things piled up inside him and he has to let them go.

"The thing is, I like to tutor students in Chinese because I have a sense of confidence. I also like to help them and it's great when they respect me and thank me for helping them. You know, I don't ask for money. I tutor them for free. Yet, there are people who aren't thankful, instead, they stab a knife in my back with insults. And because they don't anything know about me, the only way they can hurt me is by insulting my nationality." He explains and I nod at his words. "It makes me sad because generally Chinese and Korean people had a somewhat good relationship in the past. Especially when they were facing Japan's imperialism. And I know this because I learn about it during class. But some of these people who are in my class and I help them with Chinese, are still being ignorant and they just go on to hurt me. But I don't think it's about me being Chinese and them being Korean. There is something more to it," he concludes and he sits there quietly for a couple of minutes to eat again and drink from his coffee. I feel like he kind of wants me to tell him an answer. But with all honesty, I don't really know.

"Junnie, to tell you the truth," I start after I finish my chicken, "I don’t think I have been bullied before, at least not to this extent. And because I know you well, I know you are a good person so it doesn't make sense to me why anyone would hate you. After Minghao and Seungkwan, you are definitely one of the kindest and selfless people I know. Sometimes you might be bit weird, just like me, because you like to be on your own, spend time in your own bubble, and do some really random stuff. So maybe that can be a reason…" I try to explain but I don't even know if what I'm saying makes any sense.

"So they bully me because I'm different?"

"Yes…"

"But Hansol is a bit weird too and you too."

"That's true but Hansol is still a freshman so not a lot of people know him. Besides he is half white so people often think he is an international student from Europe or something. Although he had been bullied before for not being Korean enough but that was in high school. And with me… I feel like people misunderstand me. They are scared of me because I have a cold expression on my face especially when I'm being quiet, deep in my thoughts or when I'm tired. So people might be intimidated by me. Which is not that bad at least they don't bother me. But I also don't really have a lot of friends other than you guys or my online gamer friends. And all the girls who approached me in the past they did it for my looks and not for my personality," I tell him and it takes a few seconds for him to process what I was saying. Not because of the language barrier, because Junhui is quite good in Korean. But because it's a lot to process. Even I'm thinking about it if it makes sense.

"Wonwoo… so what I can do is just stay like this and let them bully me?" He asks and his expression just doesn't seem right. I start to worry more about him.

"I think you should be you and people should accept you for who you are. If anyone wants to bother you, let our bodyguard Seungcheol beat their stupid asses," I say to light up the mood and he does laugh a little.

"There is this girl… she is in one of my history classes. Her name is Luna. She is also weird. I like to talk to her because she gets bullied often too so she gets what I go through," he says and I'm getting more curious as I haven't seen him being involved with a girl before.

"Is she Chinese also?"

"No, I don't know. She is definitely not. She speaks perfect Korean but I don't know her real name. Even the professor calls her Luna. I feel like everyone knows her. There are some people who like her, but there are others who really don't. And it's because she is weird too," he tells me and I want him to keep telling me more about her. It makes me curious when he says she is weird. Like in what sense? "Oh, I have to go." He suddenly says and jumps off from the stool.

"Thanks for the food and please try to cheer up," I encourage him and he nods with a faint smile. "I'll try. Thanks for listening to me," he says as he shakes my hand.

"Of course, anytime," I say and before he can go I decide to be more expressive with my emotions. "Junhui, you should know that you can always count on me and the others. We like you just the way you are. And… we want you to be happy and accept yourself," I conclude and he nods. This time his smile is wider and brighter.

I watch him leave the library and I sink deeper into the chair. I feel a bit exhausted after this conversation because it sucks when you just can't cheer up your friend who has been hurt by so many students. And none of it makes sense… Junhui is a good guy who works hard, he is smart, he is funny and kind. Yes, time to time he can be a weird little guy but that's part of his charm. God, if people would have heard my thoughts they would think I have a crush on him.

At 10PM when I'm done with work, I head home. I think about how last night I met this mysterious girl and how now everyone thinks she is just a made up story by my imagination. I mean I wouldn't be surprised if it would be true. Sometimes I shock myself with my vivid imagination, especially when I'm writing a story like that. But she felt so weird and somewhat familiar. It's hard for me to get her out of my head. Is it attraction though or just the fact that she is so mysterious? I don't think I have seen her and known her enough to develop attraction but when she did say my name my stomach did twist a little. But I quickly wave the thought of her out of my mind.

When I arrive in the dorm, I see the chaos disappeared. It's actually too quiet so I become suspicious. But as I head deeper in, I see Seokmin sleeping on our couch while Joshua is reading his textbook and Soonyoung is typing something on the computer. I start to laugh when I see how he types. It always makes me laugh.

"Get out you shit head!" Shouts Soonyoung when he notices me laughing.

"Sorry but even my mom types faster than you, what are you doing?" I tease him and he throws a pillow at me but he didn't notice it was the Sponge Bob pillow which Seokmin's head was resting on.

"Ouch," says Seokmin as he was woken up by Soonyoung.

"How is your broken heart doing?" I ask, sitting on the armrest. He slowly gets into a seating position.

"Thanks for reminding me," he sighs.

"Sorry I thought it would be hard for you to forget it, anyway."

"You are right though. Well when you were gone with a loud argument Soonyoung and Seungkwan came to that conclusion, I should hold my head up high and don't show how hurt I am," he says and I roll my eyes.

"That's exactly what I said then why did they have to argue?"

"Because I thought Seokmin should go again and ask her out," said Soonyoung while he was still typing with that ancient way of his.

"That's a bad idea. I mean she laughed at him so it's pretty clear she doesn't want anything from him," I shrug and Seokmin nods.

"I know this interaction was pretty clear. No misunderstandings," sighs Seokmin and I pat his Seokmin's back.

"I trust your judgment on it," I say then I walk into my room to change and play some games before going to sleep. It was definitely an eventful day again.

It made me feel important in a way. I was able to listen to some of my friends’ problems and even if I don’t share mines too often I like to listen to theirs and give them advice. Although it’s not like I’m a life expert, I read a lot of books and many of them are nonfictional and I like to observe my surroundings and keep my eyes and ears open. So I guess it does make me somewhat experienced in life. Maybe that’s why they come to me, but regardless, I just want to help them. But when it comes to my problems, who will help me?

#seventeen #seventeen fan fiction #seventeen au #seventeen scenario #monday to saturday #timi writes #wonwoo #seungcheol #jeonghan #joshua #junhui #soonyoung #jihoon #seokmin #mingyu #minghao #seungkwan #hansol #chan

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desireebarefootblog · 4 years

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Lost Runes and Besties

I have a friend in SL, she’s really cool, cheers me up when I’m down, pushes me on the dance floor when I try to lean back and blend into the bar. Takes me around to all these amazing clubs filled with amazing people. We share very similar kinks, We make one another laugh, and get into the *best* sorts of trouble. She’s also adamant and super clear that she’s not interested in a relationship. I know, I know, “relationship” is a broad term and if y’all are hanging out and going out to dance, sharing pixel sex, listening to live venues and actively trying to get one another laid, that sounds like a relationship. Nope, I’m not delusional. What she isn’t interested in is falling in love, swooning into romantic moments with hearts in our eyes. Ain’t gonna happen like that, and I respect her for it. I’m also open and honest with her, because mah brain isn’t wired in the way that can eternally resist grand romantic gestures of feelings. She respects me for that, and understands me for it.

When she found a SL family and was adopted into it, I was up front cheering *hard* for her. There is a certain amount of social support that grows up in Second Life. People of similar temperment, interests, kinks and personalities gravitate towards one another. It’s not “family” like there is in Real Life, because in SL, you get to choose who your family is. Which makes it more akin to all the social networks of friends and lovers many of us begin to create in our 20s and 30s.

At least that’s been my experience.

I’m gonna veer off here for a moment because the person on the other side of my keyboard. The person who dreamed me into being and who I’m helping to make sense of this stage of their life in this idealized wonderland, they got some history. The tired old Gen X term from the last century would have been issues. Yah. dey got dem. There may be a handful of Real Life people who know this person on the other side of my keyboard reading this. I’m gonna wave at you (WAAAAVVVVEEEE) and let you know that I’m sharing some details, you may have been involved in (or may not.. if it revolves around parents definitely not, we’re not at the point where I can introduce myself to them) and it’s gonna sound like some of these issues came from your time with my dreamer. Ah God this gets awkward fast don’t it? The person whose head I’m bouncing around in? They want you to know they don’t blame you or anyone else for what they carry inside them. But, I can’t be a proper voice of self-improvement if I let them hide those feelings any longer. Hugs.

Bestie who was adopted into the SL Clan introduced me to their Matriarch and Patriarch (I mean, they use the terms Momma and Daddy, but I’m serious Desi and classy). We all hung out, chatted, danced and listened to really good tunes at their Swingin’ Hot Spot. And on Monday they adopted me into their fold. So now Bestie is also mah Sister. GO TEAM DESI!

Then the new fam gifted Bestie and Me an SL House! With a purple bedroom for me! AAaaaaaand my heart broke. Just broke. It’s silly, ridiculous, dare I say a teeny bit foolish to have these very deep, very legit feelings of love. Deep Breath. Another. C’mon Dreamer you can do this.. you can put all those words down. Its important, and it’s real.

Dreamer’s last marraige ended in divorce some fifteen years ago. The end of the marriage happened a couple of years earlier. It. Hurt. They thought they would die from it. It took a solid calendar year, hiding, withdrawing into themselves to even stand up again. Even then they left home, moved to someplace new, tried to move on. They never stood still long enough to sink roots. They still haven’t even today. They rent a room in a flat, they live single and though they got friends and roomies so they’re not *alone* they still don’t feel like they ever belong. Not fully. It can get really lonely.

So theres this clan, and it adopts me. I have a boifriend in whom I love and can confide, I have a Bestie who experiences this new Second Life with me. And last night around 10pm, it struck me. I found a place that feels like home. Where I can be myself, I don’t have to worry about what revealing too much of myself would mangle. Peeps. I never get to be home. for almost the entire 21st Century to date. I never come home. Dreamer has been moving from place to place, staying in orbit, but never landing. They’ve denied and hidden themselves, always prepared that if the need arises, they can just move on before their welcome is worn out. But here in Second Life I feel like I’m in a place where I am home. God I hope Linden Labs keeps the lights on and the servers running for the next 25 years, because I don’t know if I can handle this digital world going blip on me. (I know even if SL does end up going obsolete or financially folding up or any of the other fates that befall internet companies, that I, Desiree will be fine. Dreamer left SL for 10 years almost, and I thrived in their brain until today. I’m a part of them now.)

I get it if this post goes off into rambling babbling stream-of-consciousness. There is a LOT to say, and these couple hundred words aren’t nearly enough to express it all. But we’ll keep going, I’ll keep writing it all down as it happens to Dreamer there behind the keyboard. Maybe eventually these thoughts and blogs will snap into focus and I can show you all the whole picture. Right now, like I mentioned earlier. I have to keep up with the habit of Acknowledging when the Universe gives me nice things. And it has, again. I have a digital family and a Bestie and a Boifriend. It has been a long time since I’ve felt this blessed.

Be Well

Wash your hands

I love all of you

You are worth keeping safe.

#secondlife #love #relationship #home

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angryunusefulgoblinboy-blog · 5 years

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Self Diagnosis (I know, lame)

Hello again tumblr. It’s yet again yah boi. I haven’t posted here in a while because there truly hasn’t been a need to. Now I am realizing that I need to so here I am. So today is Monday, February 18th. I am currently laying in bed trying not to cry while I write this, not because this makes me sad, but because I am just generally sad. I am not sure why I feel this way, all I know is that I feel it. There is no rhyme or reason to my depressive states. Anyways, this feeling has been going on for a few days now, but it really hit a head on Sunday the 17th. But first, we must start on Saturday, because I think that is where this starts. I worked a double on Saturday, which is fine because I love working. But at some point in the night, I went into the bathroom and started to tear up. I don’t know why I was feeling so down, so I just kept going. Avi drove me home because my feet were killing me, and as soon as I stepped into my room and saw how messy it was a flood of emotions hit me. I was feeling so angry and frustrated and sad. I was about to scream and burst into tears at the same time. So I just cleaned up and ate some food and smoked a little weed to try and calm my nerves. I went to bed around midnight, before my roommate got back from work. The next morning I woke up around 9. I was feeling anxious and sad. I listened to music and it made my whole body shake. I cried and cried and started to get antsy. I couldn’t lay down anymore, so I got up and did push-ups in the hall. That ended up making my knees hurt so I went outside to walk around. I walked aimlessly for about 5 minutes before becoming extremely self-conscious and not wanting to be outside. I took the stairs up to my room, and my heaving breathing is what woke up my roommate. She saw me and asked if I wanted to go to the gym. While she was getting ready to go, I was pacing and doing jumping jacks. Anything to keep me moving because if I stopped moving I would cry or scream. We get into the gym and I run and do arm workouts and whatever. At one point I went into the restroom and looked at myself in the mirror and saw how unhappy I looked. I tried the technique in which you smile and that is supposed to help you feel better because of hormones or some shit. I tried looking at myself in the mirror and smiling, but that just made me cry. I couldn’t tell you if it was the look in my eyes or the fact that I was just plain sad that made me cry, but I knew I had to stop so I walked away from the mirror and back into the gym. I had an event at noon that I felt like I needed to be at so when I noticed it was 12:30, I snapped. I became so angry and frustrated I had to start moving again, so I went to the treadmill and sprinted until I felt like I was going to vomit or fall over or both. When I got off I felt a lot calmer and I rationalized that I did not need to go to the event, that it was optional and I shouldn’t worry. After that Anna and I went to get lunch and I did not eat much. I wasn’t really feeling hungry at the time. After that, I went to go to work on a project with Mark. I had done 2/3 of my part, while Mark had done 0 of his part and the other 1/3 of mine. I was never stressed about this project because it was so simple. We had 4 hours to get it done, yet we still did not in that time constraint. I was going to see A Star is Born with Anna and Caleb thinking the project would be done, but I was mistaken. So the driver was supposed to pick us up at 6:45, but that was the time I left Mark. I went into the caf and had a quick bowl of chili and we were off. The movie was incredibly sad, I freaking sobbed at the end of it. Then after we left the theater I broke down in front of Anna and Caleb, talking about how I don’t know what’s wrong with me and that I was fucked up in the head (which I am). Then we jumped into the fountain and got driven home by a former crack addict who had been addicted for 23 years and sober for 8 and turning 51 in May. She was talking about addiction and recovery and it was interesting but very sad, especially for Caleb who had been through some of those things. We got back to campus, I finished my paper and Anna and I watched Love Island. I woke up this morning feeling sad, but nothing as intense as before, just some light crying here and there. I scheduled a counseling appointment for today so I will see how that goes. I have been writing this for about 20 minutes yet I still haven’t gotten to the self-diagnosis part. Well, here's the cringe folks. I googled types of depression and scrolled through until I found the creme de la creme. There is a type of depression called premenstrual dysphoric disorder. It is a type of depression that comes about a week before your period and lasts until about 3 days after it starts. I have always had a problem with my mood swings before my period, and really my period in general, so this sort of made sense to me. So I did very light research on the subject and they say the only way to be treated is to make sure you have it so I have to keep track of my feelings daily. So this post is my official return to tumblr.

Hello bitches.

I’m back.

18 February, 2019 @ 10:43 AM

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