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#so who knows how much longer she has left
bixels · 7 hours
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What did/do you like about Pharah?
Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.
Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).
But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.
There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.
Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.
#i was a diehard pharmercy shipper back then btw#the inherent homoerotic experience of pharmercy gameplay.#the homoerotic experience of looking to the skies to fly to safety under the protection of your knight in shining armor#the homoerotic experience of feeling white hot murderous rage at an enemy trying to pick off your pocket mercy#i still kinda despise gency lmao. you cannot convince me mercy would be in love with genji. at all.#he'd make her feel so uncomfortable and guilty. in my head. the canon is obviously different#gency is sexless. absolutely zero bite or tension.#i could go on about mercy and how her character has so much missed potential#i'm no longer in my overwatch fandom phase but#i still think about that new flirty line they added in ow2 where mercy goes “ahh you're like my knight in shining armor!”#and pharah goes “that's what i'm goin for ;)” and i sigh dreamily#really happy that pharah outright says she's a lesbian too but it's hard to feel good about rep when you know blizzard uses it for pr#to be honest i'm willing to bet cash that blizzard's keeping pharmercy in their back pocket as ammo for the next controversy#last year we already saw logs about pharah fretting and taking care of mercy and the two talking about how good it is to see each other#tbh pharah has the same energy/demeanor as applejack. cheerful and competitive in a can of whoopass#but yeah overall pharah's a pretty shallow character. i have IDEAS on how i'd go about deepening her but. whatever#that's sorta what happens when you have to juggle a cast of 40 characters. a lot get left with the bare minimum#ok so i wrote this entire post up saying that pharah isn't in ow2's storymode when she is. she's in the story i just. forgot#because she doesn't do or contribute anything interesting#ok i'm stopping here. overwatch's story is such an interesting narrative mess i could go on for hours#i dunno how you come up with such incredible character designs and give them such an unincredible story#it's also so so so interesting seeing the conflicting takes on characters the writers have#mercy in gameplay and voicelines is peppy and cheerful and optimistic#but mercy in the storymode journal logs is tired. jaded. a total shut in who forgets to leave her room and social#and YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! THAT'S MERCY TO ME!!! THE DOCTOR WHO FORGETS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF#ask me#anon
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finniestoncrane · 2 days
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Pornstar!Cooper Howard x Fem!Reader, multi-part au fic cooper howard is a former actor, novice pornstar, and current wasteland escort. reader mistakes him for a bounty hunter and ends up getting far more entwined in his lifestyle than they intended in a bid to get what they need from the first 'kind' person they've met in a long time🤎
☢️ Chapter 2: Misunderstanding, word count: 4.7k reader is just about the simplest, sweetest thing that's ever gone on a journey to find a bounty hunter who can get revenge for her. unfortunately, she doesn't find the bounty hunter she was looking for. fortunately, she finds cooper howard instead, which i think we can all agree is a blessing Chapter 1 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: unprotected sex but cooper can't get you pregnant and i doubt any diseases can survive in his blood stream, lil bit of angst, one night stand with feelings, fairytale style connections here like pussy so good it has a man questioning the existence of soul mates
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Your feet were no longer willing to participate, and you found that much of your energy was going towards convincing your lower half to keep going, even at the painfully slow pace you were struggling to keep. Trudging along what was left of the highway, you wondered how much of the difficulty was physical, and how much of it was the mental block. Because for all the effort it had taken you to get this far, with the end goal in sight you were beginning to reconsider.
What were you even going to say when you found the man you were looking for? 
“Hi, I’m looking to hire a bounty hunter, and I’m told you’re the best.”
Far too formal. Almost pleading. He’d know you were someone he could take for a ride immediately.
“Hello. Are you a bounty hunter? The famous one?”
That sounded like you were about to ask for his autograph before you asked if he could take on your job.
“What’s up, good sir. Are you by any chance willing… to… do…”
“Fuck.”
You’d had this entire journey to figure out what you were going to say, and now you were so close to reaching the settlement marked on your map and you were, if anything, less prepare than before.You couldn’t even blame it on distractions, because aside from a few standard dangers, it had been smooth sailing. A small mercy you were incredibly grateful for during the journey. And yet, instead of putting that time to good use, you had daydreamed your way along broken highways, beating the occasional radroach to death with your tire iron, and willfully ignoring what you had set out to do.
It just seemed so dangerous. So seedy. 
But unfortunately necessary.
Four times in the past three months, your quiet settlement had been attacked by raiders. Crops were destroyed and stolen, four brahmin were killed, and almost all of your prized possessions had been taken. It was only by sheer luck that they’d missed your stash of caps under the floorboards, and you’d vowed to use that to get your revenge. It was only this deep, burning desire for justice that had kept you going the past few days. Walking and walking and walking, interspersed only with fitful, uncomfortable sleep. You’d barely eaten, barely drank anything, and you were running low on supplies. But the signs for the next settlement were there on the walls, ushering you in, promising you food, rest and a solution to your problems. 
That was if you could convince the solution to do what you needed. 
And that itself hinged on your ability to recognise the bounty hunter.
“Oh, you’ll know him when you see him.”
That’s what the mayor of your settlement had told you. And what kind of advice was that? 
It’s not like there was a uniform they all wore. And as far as attitude went, what were you supposed to look out for? Handy with a gun and a cruel, cut throat demeanour? That was everyone in the Wasteland.
As you entered the large town, a settlement thriving somehow, you decided the bar was the best place to start your search, and the lure of having a drink, surrounded by voices and music, was far too enticing. There was nothing like that back home. Travelling traders and the makeshift common house was as close as it came to any kind of socialising or excitement. And while you were here on business, and rather serious business at that, you felt like you deserved a reward, a little bit of something to look forward to.
The bar gave everything that you hoped. The minute you walked through the door, you were quickly distracted by a fight that had just broken out. It was stopped by someone you assumed was working security who smashed the heads of the two men involved against the table, and then carried them through to a back room, one over each shoulder. A few people looked up from their drinks or away from their conversations to take you in, none of them settling for too long. This was a trading town, strangers came in and out all the time, you weren’t special here. You blended in. It felt nice, actually, not to draw too much attention. 
Sidling up to the bar, you asked for a water, deciding that quenching your thirst was a better option than beer, and settled into your crooked, wobbling stool. You couldn’t help but smile as you sipped at your cup and looked around the place. As dark as the reason you were here was, it felt like it had given you purpose, meaning. You were on a noble quest. The excitement was dulled, however, as you looked to your left and noticed the man beside you. Only then did the seriousness of your journey settle back in, heavy on your shoulders. 
The stranger next to you had shielded most of his face with a worn cowboy hat, one that was frayed and aged, but his skin was still visible, telling of his kind. A ghoul. The scars that marred his cheeks, sunken eye sockets, and no nose to make up his side profile. He was sipping at a dark liquid in a chipped glass, holding it with gloved hands. His body was covered mostly by a tattered duster jacket, but below it there was a glimpse of blue and gold, hidden under a thick, leather waistcoat. 
He certainly looked the part. The thought made you feel guilty, as though you had judged him based on his looks alone, but that was all you had to go on. Either this was the man you were looking for, or he was bound to know where to find that person. So you took the risk and tapped on his shoulder. 
Immediately, you understood that you had made a mistake, as his dark, brown eyes focused in on you, his lips curling into a sneer. 
“I will be polite, since you look like fresh meat, but do not touch me.”
“I-I’m so sorry, I just-”
He put up a hand, silencing you. 
“I only speak by appointment, darlin’.”
As he turned back to staring into the space in front of him, you decided you’d already come far enough not to push, just a little. Besides, the attitude, the way he spoke, the suggestion that he took on appointments. You were so certain that he was the man you were here to speak to.
“Well… you don’t look too busy right now…”
“You got ten seconds before I take this glass and make an awful mess of you.”
“I want to hire you! Please, just… Can I buy you a drink, Mr…?”
He looked down into his glass, almost empty except for one large gulp, which he swallowed with a sigh before he pushed the glass forward.
“Name’s Cooper.”
“Cooper. So…?”
“Whisky.”
“Whisky. Right. Thank you!” 
Cooper watched as you attempted to make your voice heard over the noise of the patrons in the bar, intrigued by you, far more than he would have liked to admit. Usually, clients were all the same. In town for the night, passing through, a regular. It didn’t matter, they were all there for a reason, and they wanted to get straight to the point of it. He preferred that. No beating around the bush, at least not until they had paid him. 
“Here you go! He said that was the best they had… it was expensive, so I hope he’s right.”
Eyeing the liquid, Cooper swirled it and grimaced, and when he raised his glass to drink, you copied him. The swig was lodged in your throat, a burning, painful taste that lingered at the back of your tongue and had you coughing and spluttering. From beside you, you could hear Cooper’s cruel chuckling, finally smiling, albeit at your expense.
“What’s so funny? What? Do you actually like the taste of this?”
“Oh, darlin’, don’t get yourself all worked up. I just find it amusing that someone like you would want to hire someone like me, that’s all.”
“And why is that?”
Cooper sighed, setting the glass down on the bar and turning in his stool to look you in the eyes. His gaze was intense, his eyes soulful, deep, focused.
“I just don’t think you’re lookin’ for what it is I can offer you.”
“Really? Well, what is it that you can offer me then, and I’ll tell you whether or not I can handle it.”
With a wry smile, Cooper nodded towards the bartender.
“Why don’t you go rent a room and I can tell you all the things I can offer you.”
That settled it for you. He was definitely the guy you were looking for, or at least, the kind of guy you needed. Secretive, trying to act threatening, scarier than he might be, to let you know how dangerous he was. He would be perfect. So you smiled back, hopping off your stool to go and speak to the bartender who gave you a key and a room number. By the time you had turned back around, Cooper was already making his way to the corridor, and you rushed to catch up to him. 
“Room number… five.”
“That’s a nice one, in the centre of the hallway, so it’s kept warm.”
“Uh…huh…”
He seemed to know it well, the whole space, as he confidently took the key from you, opened the door, and ushered you inside. That certainty with which he held himself, the confidence that flowed out of him, it was so oddly enticing. And as he settled himself down in a chair in the corner of the room and lit up a cigarette, you realised that you found him quite attractive. Bravery, danger, those soulful eyes that held what you could only imagine were decades upon decades of secrets, of history. Plus, despite his cold demeanour, he was oddly charismatic. You assumed that’s how he got by in this town, or any settlement. Usually, ghouls weren’t welcome, but Cooper seemed like the kind of man who could charm his way into anywhere. 
“So, what is it that you think I can do for you, sweetheart?”
You’d been staring at him blankly for a minute or so, watching as he commanded the space, relaxing himself into it. If he didn’t have years of being a fetishised novelty to back him up, he could have sworn that you seemed genuinely attracted to him. It had been so long since someone had looked at him like that, a blush on their cheeks, taking in his personality as well as his scarred and interesting body. 
Truthfully, he was looking forward to this himself. He’d have been lying to himself if he denied that you were his type. A little naive, sweet and cheerful, perfectly corruptible. But it was more than that. Your eyes seemed gentle, understanding. A trait that was hard to find these days. A look of the past about you, likely your upbringing. Those smaller settlements up in the hills were generational, clutching to what their ancestors had known before, living on kindness and the American spirit. THe nostalgia settled in his gut as he took you in. 
“Ok, so! Raiders.”
“... Raiders?”
He raised his brow, questioning you silently. It had been a long time since someone had asked for any roleplay in their encounter with him, and he could hear the jingling of caps as he wondered how much he could charge you for that.
“Yeah, raiders. They’ve attacked my settlement four times already.”
“And… they took you hostage? Kept you as a prisoner?”
“N-no… why…? No. They keep destroying our crops.”
“Oh, so you’re hungry.”
“I mean… yeah, but most of all I just need-”
“Need a little relief from all the stress you’ve been under?”
“I guess so, but not before I’ve solved the problem. What I really need is a bounty hunter.”
Cooper raised his hands, silencing you, a confused look on his face.
“I’m gonna stop you there, missy. This is verging on an acting job, and I don’t do those any more. Now what do you mean a bounty hunter?”
“Sorry… I don’t… what is there not to understand? I figured that’s what you did… isn’t it? Hunt bounties? Someone told me I could find a guy here that was good with a gun and-”
“Oh, you gotta be fuckin’ shittin’ me!”
He let out an exasperated laugh as he stood up from the chair and walked to you by the door.
“You think I’m a fuckin’ bounty hunter?”
“I thought… but now I’m sensing that you’re not in fact a bounty hunter.”
“Yeah, you got that right at least, lil lady.”
“So what are you then?”
“I’m an escort.”
You didn’t want to be presumptuous, and you couldn’t quite believe what he was saying, so you sought out some clarification, much to his dismay.
“So you… you go with me to get the raiders like a chaperone?”
Cooper stood in front of you in disbelief, narrowing his eyes at your perceived stupidity. 
“No, I ain’t escorting you anywhere except to this bed. Or the floor. Or against the wall.”
“Like sex?”
“Yeah. Like sex.”
You had so many questions, and not one of them felt appropriate. He just didn’t seem like the type of person who was well-suited to that particular line of work. Of course he was handsome, and there was that alluring, cruel nature that you found so beguiling, but his exterior was so rough and cold that you couldn’t imagine a lot of people getting past that.And with that thought, you wondered if he considered you to be that kind of person, someone who would shrug him off based on his demeanour, or worse, his looks. 
“Why were you so surprised about me wanting to hire you then?”
“Well, darlin’, you just don’t strike me as the wild type.”
“And what does that mean?”
“Means I usually only offer my talents to the people who want something a little weirder than what’s on offer elsewhere. Kinky folks, someone looking to get a bit freaky.”
“Huh…”
He didn’t know you well enough to make that judgement, and it smarted a little. And you were learning more about yourself too, because you were interested in him. Even before he’d revealed to you his line of work you’d been finding yourself stuck in a trance by Cooper. Of course you’d already reasoned that he would never be interested in you, but now that you know his affections could be bought…
“Is that all you brought?”
Speaking of money, Cooper had begun to rifle through the stash of caps that you had laid down on the dresser beside your backpack. 
“Uh… yeah. I thought that would be enough.”
“This would barely cover my fees, and you were gonna try and hire a bounty hunter for that? That is just about the stupidest god damn thing I’ve ever heard.”
You stepped to him purposefully, pulling the caps from him and putting them back into your bag. Even with your little quickfire crush, you found yourself irritated by his constant, snippy remarks. 
“Listen, I had no other choice. My settlement is struggling, this is all we had left after the raiders. I was hoping that someone would take a little bit of pity.”
“Sounds like the plot of some corny old cowboy movie.”
“Makes sense now, me thinking you were the bounty hunter, hm?”
Gesturing at his outfit with your hand, you let your eyes take him in from the floor up, and when your gaze settled on his face, you noticed him stepping closer, leaning into you. 
“I ain’t just some cowboy, missy. I am the cowboy.”
The way his voice lowered for emphasis, growling in his throat as he spat the words out at you with every intention, made your body flush with heat. A near immediate clenching formed in your gut, a tight coiling as you felt your saliva collecting against your cheeks. If you didn’t ask, you’d regret it forever. So you swallowed your nerves and spoke.
“So, can you do anything for me then?”
“I can do plenty, sweetheart. I can give you an earth-shattering orgasm and something to think about on your travels back to your little settlement. I cannot kill someone for you, but I can make you forget your troubles for a little while.”
“A-and… I have enough for that?”
Cooper grinned, more of a smug sneer than anything that resembled genuine happiness. 
“Are you asking to hire me for these other talents, then?”
“I guess so. Can I?”
“Hey, you got the money, then you’ve got me.”
You reached for your caps once again, handing them all over to him and watching as he put them into the pocket of his coat. All of it gone, in a moment of weakness over a man you’d just met. Before you could resent the decision too much, though, Cooper began shrugging off the long, duster jacket, your caps jingling as he did so. With it off, you could get a better look at his tarnished outfit underneath. He looked even more like a cowboy now. He hadn’t been lying before. Everything about him reminded you of those old holotapes you’d seen, the tarnished posters on the walls of buildings, or in the thankfully spared comic books you had been able to read. 
Noticing that you were just standing there, staring at him, Cooper broke the silence. 
“You look nervous, and I am a busy man. Shall I get things started?”
You weren’t even aware that you had started nodding until he was in front of you, fingers pulling at the material of your shirt and untucking it from your pants. He really wasn’t shy about it, no hesitation at all as he teased it up and over your head, already working on his own.As you stood there, awkward, exposed, he tossed his shirt to the side and began working on his belt, unbuckling it as you watched him. His body was lean, but not slim. The scarring on his face followed over his entire body, covering him completely. Each little line and ridge in his skin looked tempting, and you wanted nothing more than to run your fingers along him, to feel the texture against you. 
Cooper was quick to fulfil that desire, wrapping his arms around you as he worked at your pants. The embrace felt warm, and you couldn’t help but let your own hands travel around to his back, stroking up and down his spine as he pulled your pants down, letting them fall to your knees. As you stepped out of them, kicking them to the side, Cooper did the same, stopping briefly to take you in fully as you admired him in return. 
His cock was average in length, thicker than most, but what intrigued you most, once again, was the way it might feel against you. Ridged, tickling, with a stretch. You could feel yourself drooling at the thought, only pulled back to reality by Cooper’s voice.
“A quick disclaimer: you’re not going to get pregnant, and my blood kills diseases. I’m clean, so anything wrong with you, you can’t blame me.”
It was an oddly comforting statement, and solved a problem you hadn’t thought of until then. You nodded, standing in an awkward silence until Cooper spoke again.
“So, where do you want it?”
“I, uh… on the bed, I guess?”
“Well, that answers that question, but I meant my cock.”
“Oh! Maybe… uh… I…”
Cooper interrupted you, putting you out of your misery as you fumbled around for the right words and the bravery to ask for what you wanted. 
“Listen, just… lay on your back and spread your legs so I can get to your cunt. Nothing too adventurous for you, I think.”
You did as you were told, thankful for the instructions and his easy way of speaking them, even surprising yourself at how enjoyable you found the vulgar way he spoke to you. Everything about him was a little bit vulgar, though. But all the same, exciting and attractive, only fueling your arousal as you watched him spit on his hand, a long strand of drool connecting from his lips to his palm, before he stroked it along his cock. 
“You good?”
“Skill wise, or-”
“Are you ready?”
“Yes. Yes…”
With a roll of his eyes, not quite the look you had hoped for admittedly, Cooper lined the head of his cock up with your slit, pushing the tip past your folds and into your cunt with a soft groan. You were tight around him, stretched by his girth, and the way your fingers clawed at the mattress gave him a feeling of accomplishment already. 
Already, this felt different to him. You kept your eyes focused on him, when they weren’t closing against the pleasurable pain of him thrusting his cock into you. And not just to take in his body, instead, you were looking into his eyes. It felt like he was being seen for the first time in a long time. 
At one point, a soft smile crossed your lips, almost shy, and it pushed a grin to his own lips. It reminded him of someone from so long ago. Someone who looked up at him, body exposed to him, admiration and giddy glee in their chest. From that day, the last one. He couldn’t remember her name, but he remembered how she made him feel. She was sweet, and she saw him for who he was, not what he’d become. And given what he’d become now, he could be certain that it was the last time someone had seen Cooper, until you. 
Cooper grunted as he pushed himself deeper into you, up to the hilt, his hips pressing into you, hands on either side of your head against the bed. Everything about you was enticing. The soft giggles you let out, deep, breathy sighs as he worked at you, half-lidded eyes that sparkled with joy as they took him in. Usually, he was good for a solid half hour of pleasure, well worth the money he charged, but he could feel himself coming undone already. 
“Cooper… this is… you’re so good.”
Usually, he wasn’t one for speaking during sex, unless he was paid extra. But he indulged himself in your praise, wetting his lips and pushing past the grunts of exertion to ask for more. 
“Yeah? Tell me then, darlin’... tell me how good it feels.”
Your words spilled out with surprising ease, given how shy you had seemed. Kindness was clearly natural to you, and Cooper was incredibly grateful for it. It was beginning to feel like less of a job, a task, a need to get you fucked and out of the door and more of a genuinely pleasant experience for him. The more he considered how good it felt, to be touched, to be held, felt, appreciated for more than just fulfilling a kinky niche, the faster his rutting got. He wanted this to last, wanted the feeling of your cunt wrapped around his cock, your body warm under him, your eyes trained on his, to last for as long as possible, but it wasn’t easy to hold himself back. And it seemed less likely that you would be able to hold on either, as you had begun whimpering, fingernails scratching at the sheets, your hand finding his and clinging to it as you began to jerk your hips into him.
With a sharp hiss that opened into a shriek, you felt yourself reaching your climax, clenching around him as you quivered, your body electrified for those thirty seconds of extreme pleasure, your body overwhelmed with the sparking sensation that had you tingling all over.
When your breath was steady once again, you reached a hand up to Cooper’s cheek, holding it there and stroking his cheekbone with your thumb, enough energy left to utter one word.
“Wow.”
The way you uttered that one word was enough to push Cooper to his own orgasm. There was more kindness and genuine feeling in it than anything he’d heard in the past two hundred years. And as he felt himself being emptied inside of you, he couldn’t help but hit an incredible low, realising that it was over already, before he had begun to properly appreciate it. So he sank down into the mattress, rolling over and settling in next to you.
Laying there, your body cooling in the wet patch under it, you could barely speak, but you pushed past your heavy breaths to get at least one thing out.
“Thank you.”
Cooper kept himself as still as possible, letting his body come to a regulated pace, trying not to react to the words he was sure he had just heard you say.
“Thank you.”
No one had thanked him, for anything, for a long time. And least of all for his efforts in sex. The only reason he really made it, so to speak, was that he was a niche commodity in the world of sex. There to be used, to get off on or with, and then to leave again. And if he thought too hard about it, no one had ever thanked him before either. Not Barb. Not his co-stars. Not the directors who he performed for. No one. Was he actually good at it? Talented? Had he now fucked so much that he was an acceptable lay? Or were you just an outlier? Connected to him in a way that made it good? It seemed far more likely, given that he himself had found it far more pleasurable than anyone else in the last two hundred years. But that thought was a difficult one to process, so he rolled over in the bed in a bid to avoid those feelings, focusing so hard on the bare wall in front of him that he fell asleep remarkably swiftly.
Noticing that his breathing had slowed, a soft snore occasionally rumbling over his lips, you stood up from the bed and moved quietly and carefully to the sink in the corner, filled with old, stale water that felt cool against your skin. You didn’t want to risk waking Cooper, mostly because he looked like he needed the rest, but partly because you wondered what you would say, if anything, after what had just happened. So you took a seat to try and ground yourself.
From the chair in the corner of the room you watched him for a few more moments, perching there as you considered everything that had happened that day so far. A journey wasted, in some ways. But now you had an experience worth remembering, truly an adventure. It was almost difficult to imagine it as a one-off though. A singular event, never to happen again. And as you watched Cooper’s body moving slowly, inhaling and exhaling soundly in his sleep, you realised the thought was actually quite painful. And silly. You’d only just met him. He did this with so many people, and you weren’t special. It would be foolish to let yourself think that. How ridiculously typical would it be for some naïve country girl to find herself attached to her first one night stand, with a paid professional no less. So, rather than face those difficult thoughts any longer, you collected your things up, stopping only to reach into Cooper’s jacket and take enough caps back to pay for another room. At the bar, you were given another key, and you headed back up to try and get as much sleep as you could before making the decision about the next steps in the morning. 
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ecoamerica · 2 months
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Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc
The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!
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quin-ns · 1 day
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The blue VI (JJ Maybank x Reader)
Series summary: JJ has a secret, and he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold onto it. He discovers his breaking point when his best friend starts to show interest in you, his step sister, who he’s already fallen hard for
Series tags: step brother!jj, dual pov, jealousy, one sided john b x reader, drinking, inappropriate relationship, public sex, oral sex (f receiving)
A/N: the moment we’ve all been waiting for
Series masterlist + OBX masterlist
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You felt bad for Kiara, knowing you probably hadn’t been the most pleasant company for the past few days.
Usually when the two of you had sleepovers it was all night gossip and games and sneaking out, but you weren’t up for any of that. Best you could offer was laying in her bed with her and watching videos on her laptop with some minor conversation.
You didn’t really have the capacity to think about anything else but your royal screw up with JJ.
She tried to get you to talk about what happened, but how could you? It didn’t take a genius to figure that something went down, but you’d rather have her think it was just an argument.
You still couldn’t believe what you’d done. You kissed JJ. You actually kissed him.
At the time it was you wanted, but then you let doubt get the best of you.
And now JJ probably hated you. Ironic how he thought it would be the other way around.
It wasn’t like you wanted to hurt him, but you had a hard time grappling with the very confusing feelings you now held for him.
It all started with that first kiss. You never would’ve known what you were missing if he hadn’t gone and done that.
“I love you, but it’s a perfectly good Saturday night and I am not spending it in my bedroom,” Kiara complained, forcing you out of your own head.
She pulled the fluffy blanket you had claimed as yours off of your body.
“What? Hey!”
You didn’t even remember her getting out of the bed. The two of you had practically been rotting beneath the covers all day.
“Up!” she demanded. You looked up and found the stubborn face of your friend looking back. “Come on.”
“Ugh, fine.” You forced yourself to sit up, swinging your legs over the edge of your bed. Kiara stood with her arms crossed while you frowned up at her. “Happy?”
“I’d be happier if you told me what happened with JJ that was bad enough to make you act like this,” she countered, raising her brows expectantly.
“I told you it was just a disagreement.”
“And I told you not to lie to me.”
You averted your gaze from hers. It wasn’t like you wanted to be dishonest with her, but it was better than the truth.
“You said you don’t wanna spend the night in your room,” you said, rising to your feet. “So… what do you want to do? You get to pick.”
“There’s a party tonight at the Boneyard,” Kiara declared. Evidently she’d already had a plan prepared. “And we’re going.”
Getting dressed with Kie actually helped to uplift your mood. You were both determined to pick out nice outfits for the other, and thankfully you’d left enough clothes at her house to have options.
You ended up in a cute crop top and some jean shorts. Dressing in the summer was always easy.
“Pope just texted me and said he, JJ, and John B are all going,” Kiara informed, reading off her phone as you made your way to her jeep. “You good with that?”
You wanted to see JJ. Even if he was pissed at you, you still missed him. You wanted a chance to talk to him, to explain what happened and admit a few things you had yet to fully accept.
“Yeah,” you replied, climbing into the passenger side. “Good with me.”
You and Kiara arrived with a wave of newcomers spilling onto the beach. The party was really getting started now.
Wandering around the beach, you kept an eye out for JJ. The sound of his voice traveling, blonde hair—something. Him being out of your sight was something of a new occurrence. After about ten minutes of trailing behind Kie as she talked to people and got a drink, you began to doubt he was even coming.
He was definitely avoiding you, and you decided you weren’t very much in a party mood after that.
You were about to ask Kie to leave until a familiar face approached.
“Long time no see,” John B teased, a smile on his face at the sight of you and Kie. “I missed you guys.”
Kie put a hand on her hip. “And here I thought you went to the dark side.”
She was referring to his boss—Kiara didn’t talk about it much, but you knew she wasn’t a fan of Ward Cameron’s daughter, Sarah. John B working for the family wasn’t her favorite thing.
“Very funny,” John B dismissed sarcastically. Thankfully Kie didn’t seem to mean it as much as she had in the beginning. John B fixed his gaze on you, and he took on a more thoughtful expression. “You got a second?”
You glanced to Kie, and she gave you a nod to say it was fine to leave her alone. You offered John B a smile. This conversation was coming too, it was just a matter of when.
“Yeah, sure.”
John B tried to find somewhere less crowded, but that wasn’t really an option unless you wanted to totally ditch and go into the woodsy area of the beach, but that seemed inconvenient. You ended up sitting next to one another on a big tree trunk that had fallen horizontally. People were milling around, but they were more distracted by the keg a few yards away. No one would be paying attention to either of you, much less eavesdropping.
“So, what’s up?” you asked when you sat down.
“We haven’t really had a chance to talk since a few nights ago,” John B started, a shyness to him that you usually didn’t hear directed at you.
You watched as he ran his hands over his knees, searching for what to add.
“I wasn’t avoiding you or anything,” you told him, trying to ease his nerves. “I’ve just been busy with Kie.”
“I know, I didn’t think you were.” John B gave you a small smile before he continued. “I don’t know how to say it right but I’m gonna try anyway,” he decided, meeting your eyes. “Your friendship means a lot to me… and so does JJ’s. And as big of a crush as I have on you, I don’t wanna risk losing either of you over it.”
“That’s mature of you,” you said, trying to not react at the mention of JJ.
“Recently I’ve been forced to think about what’s important to me, y’know?”
At the vague reference to his father, you tried to not retreat into your own mind about all the “what-if’s” in life. With everything going on you hadn’t thought about your mom’s situation in a while. In a strange way it was somewhat a relief, but you’d prefer to not have anything going wrong the way it had been.
“I think it’s for the best,” you agreed, honestly more relieved than you imagined yourself feeling. “You’re a great guy, and any girl would be lucky to have you.”
John B chuckled at the flattery before saying, “You just make sure to tell her that, alright?”
It was your turn to laugh at his teasing tone.
“You got it.” You meant what you said about him. “I’m glad we talked.” You found yourself in a better mood than you had been all day.
“We should find Kie before she thinks we’re getting into trouble,” John B commented. “And, for the record, I am too. Happy we talked.”
You gave him a smile at that. “She’ll survive,” you replied to the former statement, but looked out in front of you nonetheless, trying to spot the other girl.
You caught a glimpse of blonde hair instead.
JJ.
It was definitely him. You’d recognize him anywhere from his walk to his clothes, and you just had a feeling in your gut. It was him, but he disappeared into the crowd as soon as you saw him.
Your heart skipped in your chest. You got to your feet, everything else forgotten in that brief moment.
“You good?” John B questioned, clearly sensing your urgency.
You turned and plastered on a smile.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you lied. “We can split up and look for Kie—divide and conquer and all that.”
“It shouldn’t be too hard… okay, then,” John B trailed off, half chuckling behind you as you took off in the direction you swore JJ went.
If it wasn’t him, you must’ve been delusional.
Your heart continued to race as you found JJ at a keg, filling up a cup. So it had been him. Nice to know you weren’t losing your mind with longing that you imagined it. You never quite pictured this for yourself when it came to JJ, but as badly as you wanted to run to him, your feet were heavy.
Now or never, right?
You managed to walk up to him before he could lift the cup to his lips (and before you could freeze back in place) and he spotted you. You couldn’t quite place the look on his face, but it was more hurt than angry.
He stayed in place when you stopped across from him, but the way he glanced away from you told you that you had to talk fast.
“I’m glad you’re here, I’ve been looking for you.”
JJ scoffed, shaking his head, drink forgotten.
“You must have me mixed up with John B,” he mocked. “Although good job, ‘cause you found him.”
“We were just talking,” you defended.
“Right, sure.”
“I’m serious, okay?” you implored while he gulped down his drink. “We’re just friends.”
“Well, good for you.” JJ dropped his cup to the ground as he began to walk away, not even giving you a chance to answer his question that followed. “Is that all?”
You watched him for a second, a frown working its way onto your lips. You saw his shoulders slouch as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.
You snapped into action and followed after him.
“No, it’s not,” you rushed out, trying to fall in line with his steps through the sand but remaining a few behind him. Finally, you reached out and grabbed his arm when you realized he wasn’t going to stop. “Can you just hear me out?”
JJ turned, looking at your hand on his arm before meeting your eyes. You missed that shade of blue. You let out a sigh when your pleading worked. You saw it on his face before he said anything.
“Fine,” he agreed, keeping his guard up. “Talk.”
You glanced around, noticing the people in the surrounding area. You swallowed.
“Can we go somewhere alone?” you asked, knowing you couldn’t say everything you wanted to with all these ears nearby.
JJ led the way into the woodsy area of the beach. Calling it the woods wasn’t really fitting because it wasn’t thick like a forest. It was clusters of palm trees and shrubbery that lined where the beach met dirt, with grass sticking out of the sand. But none of that really mattered, what was important was that it was away from all your peers crowding the shore. It took a minute of walking until you felt like you could talk freely, the only sense of the party nearby being the music faintly filling the air.
JJ stopped and you did too, standing across from him. It felt like there was so much distance between the two of you, even if it was really only a yard or two. You never realized how rarely he left your close proximity until now.
You weren’t sure where to start, so you just… started speaking and prayed the words would come.
“I don’t know what you think you saw, but John B and I really were talking about being just friends. He said my friendship—and yours—mattered too much to mess up, and I don’t even see him like that. I promise, JJ.”
JJ stayed quiet for a moment, but he looked like he believed you.
“Okay,” he said, eyes low as he nodded. “Cool.”
Irritation crept in quickly. “You can give me more than one word answers, you know. I’m trying to be serious with you.”
His eyes flicked up at the sass in your tone.
“What do you want me to say? Thank you for not dating him?” he snarked. “Because thank you, I really do appreciate it, y’know?” His voice was raising and you understood why he’d been so careful with his answers before. “You can’t be with me but hey, at least you won’t be with him!”
You clicked your tongue at his words. You really wanted to have a genuine conversation with him but JJ didn’t seem too keen on that.
“I forgot, you can’t take anything seriously,” you muttered out of annoyance, but he heard you loud and clear.
“Right, yeah, everything is a joke to me. Like when you kissed me the other night—that was so funny,” he shot back, taking a step closer. “What’s also funny is I came here ready to pour my fucking heart out like an idiot to you, and you’re already over it all.”
“What makes you think I’m over any of it?” you accused, throwing his tone right back at him. “You can’t just assume shit and then act like it’s the truth! I haven’t been able to get you out of my head, if it makes you feel any better. But hey—probably not! Because apparently you don’t believe anything I say now, even though I’m telling you that there’s nothing going on with John B and there won’t be! I kissed you, not him, remember?”
You saw JJ’s throat bob as he swallowed, and it made you realize that you had moved forward to close the gap.
“Yeah, I remember,” he finally said, voice much lower than before. “I also remember you changing your mind.”
“I didn’t change my mind,” you confessed, hugging yourself. Now was your chance to try and put words to everything. You had JJ’s attention and even if he looked like he was going to storm off any second, you knew he wouldn’t. You took a breath. “When you kissed me I—I had no idea what to do or think. I didn’t know you felt that way about me and it kinda… I don’t know. But then I couldn’t stop thinking about it and it made me realize that everything we are to each other has never been what it was supposed to be. I didn’t know how to accept that, I guess, and so I did push you away, and I’m sorry. But then at the movie when it was just us I let myself slip up for a minute and I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry for that too.” You took a shaky breath. “And now here we are and I don’t really know where to go from here—I know that’s not fair but I’ve never felt like this before and I don’t know what to do.”
JJ’s eyes had stayed on your face through the entire admission, even when you couldn’t meet his gaze. When you finished, you swallowed back tears. You couldn’t quite read the look on his face. You weren’t sure what he was going to say, or what you wanted him to say.
“If I kiss you again are you going to push me away?” he finally asked, a sense of desperation in his voice.
Words almost failed you, but you managed to get out a small, “No.”
That was all it took, and then JJ’s lips were crashing against yours.
Your head spun as you kissed back, not denying yourself what you knew you wanted. Ever since the first kiss, you’d wanted more. You could admit that now.
Your hands fisted in the fabric of JJ’s shirt and pulled him impossibly close. He fell into you eagerly, hands gripping your waist.
His kiss was feverish, hungry to taste you after being denied for so long. You tried not to let your mind drift and instead focused on the now. Everything else could wait, but right now you and JJ had the world to yourselves.
That thought really won when your fingers drifted to the hem of his shirt.
“Is this okay?” you asked softly.
If the heat between the two of you wasn’t so intense, you might’ve laughed at the look on JJ’s face. You might as well have told him he won a million dollars.
“Yeah,” he rushed out. A smile tugged at the corner of his lip. “Definitely okay.”
With that he leaned back in, lips on yours once more. You let him control the kiss while you focused on removing his shirt. As you pulled it from his body, JJ had to part again. In that instant, you admired him in a way you hadn’t before. Heat rushed through you as he returned to devouring your lips.
JJ’s hands wandered to your shirt, and with a hum against his lips and a nod, you let him pull it from you. Once he started, he couldn’t stop. Neither could you.
In a mess of hands and fabric, you ended up on the ground, naked in JJ’s lap, his knees digging into the sand as he stared up at you. Your body was a temple and he was here to worship.
Curious hands ran across your exposed form and ocean eyes drank you in. You’d never seen such a look of awe on JJ’s face before and you were thrilled by the idea.
“You’re perfect, you know that?” he said, sounding about a second away from losing it. “I mean it.”
Your heart fluttered. Words failed you. You managed a light nod, which caused a smile to spread across his face.
“I love that you think that,” you managed, taking a deep breath. You found his smile, his eyes, his hands on your body—all of it felt right. “I love you, JJ.”
A look crossed JJ’s face. You’d never seen it before. It was more than awe, it was more than disbelief. Adoration. He adored you.
“I love you too,” he said. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry with relief. “You—you’re everything to me.” He swallowed. “I never thought I’d get to say that.”
“You can,” you said, voice softer than you’d planned. You lifted your hips. “As much as you want…”
One of JJ’s hands held your hips tight while the other lined himself up. Hungry eyes couldn’t decide between watching your face or watching where your bodies were about to meet as you lowered yourself down into his lap.
The head of his cock pushed through your entrance, drawing a small gasp from you and a groan from JJ. Impatience almost won, but you had to move yourself slowly to be able to take him. Finally, your ass met his thighs and you dropped your head to his shoulder. Your breaths were shaky as you adjusted to the stretch of him fully inside you.
JJ’s hard cock twitched, his hands grabbing at your waist, your hips, your thighs—anything he could get his hands on to try and hold on and pull you close. You wrapped your arms around his neck to hold yourself in place. You took a moment to adjust, but the moment you did, you let him know.
“You can move,” you said softly into his ear.
You felt JJ’s entire body shiver at your words. You nearly smirked. His fingers pressed into your skin and he tried to control himself.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you to want me,” JJ said, a thickness to his voice that you found incredibly hot.
You leaned back to meet his lustful gaze. You couldn’t resist teasing him given your position.
“I have a feeling I do.”
You raised yourself up a little and dropped back down, drawing a desperate sound from the blonde as you taunted him.
His tongue ran across his bottom lip, it was damn near mesmerizing. You ran out of time to look because his lips were surging toward yours, but you weren’t complaining.
JJ chuckled at the gasp you let out against his mouth when he forced you onto your back. You welcomed his weight on top of you, your hands running down his muscular chest, taking in every inch of skin you somehow resisted the urge to touch—truly touch—before.
He drew back his hips, leaving only the head inside, then slammed back forward. A moan escaped your lips, and that only spurred JJ on. He repeated the movements again and again. Slow at first, really letting you feel the drag of his thick cock inside of you. The pleasure was so agonizing, but you let him get his fill of teasing you back.
Sooner than later did his desire get the best of him, and you weren’t complaining when JJ picked up the pace. Your hands found his back, nails digging in just enough to make him stifle a moan. His lips found your neck, pressing open mouthed kisses to your damp skin. You felt his teeth begin to press in more than once, but he resisted the urge to leave behind evidence.
A curious hand wandered up to JJ’s hair, your finger carding through the soft locks. At a sharp thrust, you gripped, and his hips stuttered.
JJ’s hips snapped repeatedly against yours, flooding your entire being with a pleasure you’d never experienced before. The feel of his cock moving inside of you stirred a need inside of you that you didn’t even know you had.
You were meant for each other, it was clear to you now.
JJ kept thrusting his hips, his lips returning back to yours, devouring you in a hungry kiss. He swallowed down your moans, never letting his lips part from yours for longer than a second as his hips curved into yours.
You were being pushed towards your edge fast. It was as if JJ already knew your body.
“I’m close,” you managed between kisses.
JJ groaned out something you didn’t understand, but you knew he heard you. A skilled hand snaked its way between your bodies to find your clit. Your thighs clenched around his waist as a gasp leapt from you.
Your whole body felt overheated, like you’d melt from the inside out. JJ’s cock moving inside of you paired with the weight of his body on top of yours and the needy way his lips sought after yours between breathless sounds worked together to draw you closer and closer to release. All of your senses were flooded by him and you wouldn’t have had it any other way.
JJ wasn’t any better off than you, you could tell with the way his hips slammed into yours and his ragged breathing that he was close.
“JJ…” you moaned out his name as the knot in your belly finally snapped. “Fuck!” you cursed in a whimper as your body tightened around him, not wanting to let him go as you rode out your orgasm.
His lips parted from yours so he could watch your face. Your eyes squeezed shut and your jaw dropped as you shook. You could feel his eyes never leaving your expression even as you were blinded to it.
Thrusts became rougher, more desperate as he chased his edge. The sound of skin against skin synced up with your heart pounding in your own ears. JJ was saying something but you couldn’t hear. Your nails dug into his back as he finally shoved his hips against yours and let go.
A shiver of pleasure ran down your spine as warmth flooded your insides. You held onto him tight as he jerked inside you, giving you everything he had.
You opened your eyes and the sight of pure ecstasy on his face made your body quiver. A moan tore from deep in his throat as he reacted. You licked your lips before pulling him down into a kiss. It was sloppy and tired and the best kiss you’d ever had.
After a long moment, JJ forced himself to part from you. He smiled to himself as he made some joke about not wanting to smother you, but you wouldn’t have minded. He grinned even wider when you said that.
In the aftermath, you forgot where you were. As you sat up, evidence of what had just transpired dripping between your thighs, you looked to JJ. Beside you he mirrored your position, sitting up, facing you. He looked just as wrecked as you were sure you looked, but it was beautiful.
All you could do was smile. So this is what being in love with JJ felt like. You could get used to it.
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ange1sang · 3 days
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sweetface, angelface
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2.2k words
; canon compliant/post season 11, domestic fluff, sibling love, gallavich, fiona and ian + fiona and mickey, past regrets, mild hurt/comfort but mostly just sweet
Ian and Mickey's West Side apartment is silent when Fiona lets herself in with the spare key she borrowed from Lip. The quiet is thick in a way that it never was back in the Gallagher house - quiet always meant something terrible had happened, and rarely lasted more than a minute or two in their neighbourhood - and Fiona has to pause to take it in with a deep breath.
Lip had warned her that her visit was poorly timed. Ian had been climbing up the mental steps towards another high which had resulted in a quick and easy adjustment of his medication, and while Ian was resilient and experienced after so many years of learning the ins and outs of being bipolar, it had still left him sleepy and distant as his brain got used to the change in chemicals. He'd been off work for half a week - a long time for someone finding their footing in the real world - and Mickey had taken the past couple of days off to take care of his husband, something that had taken Fiona back to Ian's first depressive episode as soon as Lip had told her. Mickey's determination to take care of Ian, his hardheaded love for her little brother, and the fear in his eyes as he rambled about the sudden shift in Ian's behaviour.
She'd been less than supportive back then, knowing that Ian needed real treatment more than he needed love in that moment, but hearing now how Mickey's determination has persisted for years longer than they'd ever expected had made her heart ache.
Ian had always been her baby. Since that first night Frank left her and her only siblings at the time out on the street and she'd carried a feverish Ian and teary Lip to the clinic he'd been her baby. Lip was the second oldest, a role that came with signifcantly less responsibility but still enough of it for him to be her rock through those first few years of playing house all by herself. But for the years before Debbie was born Ian had been the youngest, the one who needed the most care, and even after their other siblings were born and Ian became Lip's best friend instead of just his little brother, the need to take care of him had lingered for Fiona.
It didn't help that Ian was so sweet and kind, always wearing his heart on his sleeve in a way that Fiona and Lip never did. He was vulnerable, and even when he kept his aches and pains to himself it was obvious when he was hurt. She wanted, always had wanted, to shelter him from as much as she could, even when she had too much on her plate to know his whereabouts or the names of kids bothering him at school.
Despite the desire to keep him safe, Fiona knew that he had slipped through the cracks more often than his siblings had. Maybe it was the sweet smile he gave her when she asked if he was alright, maybe it was the resilience that shone through when he started navigating his sexuality by himself, maybe it was his dreams of the army and the tough guy exterior he put on whenever he talked about West Point. Whatever the reason, he'd been left behind when she fussed over Lip being in school, when Debbie got pregnant, when Carl came back from juvie. He was the apple of her eye, but he was so meek sometimes that it was easy to focus on the rest of the kids and what they needed from her.
She knows now that she could've done more. That she should've been glad Ian was with Mickey instead of some guy who was old enough to be his father, who there'd been far too many of without any of them stopping to question what the hell those men were doing with their brother. She should have fought to bring him home when he ran off to the army the same way she fought to bring Lip home after he dropped out, and she should've done more than turn a blind eye when he started working at clubs and came home skinny, high out of his mind with eyeliner still smeared around his lashline. She should've carried him to safety, the same way she did that night when it was just the three of them alone in the world for the first time. There was no way she could have done a perfect job at raising all five of the kids - she knows that too - but her heart aches when she thinks of the times Ian slipped through all of their fingers without a safety net to catch him.
She owes Ian, forever her little brother and the only sibling she calls 'sweetface', for not trying to understand him better. For not trying harder to love the only boyfriend who had been there through the first highs and lows without ever turning his back on him. Ian did okay even without those things, she can see as much as she looks around the little apartment. The family photos in frames on the TV stand, the taupe couch with only one stain, the coffeetable with a half-full ashtray she recognises from their old home. He did okay because, despite being a softer kid than any of them had the courage to be, he was strong. She smiles when she spots a wedding picture hung above the TV, Ian and Mickey holding each other's faces like the rest of the world had fallen away at that moment. She wishes she'd been there, will likely wish as much for the rest of her life, but she's here now and has to hope that's enough.
The clattering of dishes pulls her out of her thoughts. She can hear coffee being put to brew, the soft shuffle of socked feet coming from the kitchen. She blinks back the dull ache in her chest and makes her way to the source of the noise, smiling when she sees Mickey leaning against the counter, an unlit cigarette between his lips as he puts two Pop-Tarts in the toaster. He startles at her presence but smiles as soon as he sees her.
"Hey Fi," he greets, setting aside his cigarette and allowing her to hug him hello without a struggle, which is a win for Fiona even if he doesn't really return the touch. He's softer in their new environment she realises, more relaxed than he ever was when he was in the same neighbourhood as his family. She pulls back and gives his arm a squeeze, smiling warmly at the sight of the wedding ring on his finger.
"Hi angelface," she says. Mickey immediately turns to the doorway, looking for something before he freezes and turns his attention back to Fiona, brows drawn tight together as he looks her up and down.
"Thought you were talking to Ian," he mumbles, pulling away from her touch as though to get a better look at her. "Where the fuck did that come from?"
Fiona can't help but laugh, shrugging off her jacket and draping it over the back of one of the chairs at their kitchen table.
"Ian's always been sweetface," she says, watching how Mickey's expression softens as she says that. "I was thinkin' the whole way over that you ought to have a nickname too."
"Y'know, I was doin' fine without one," Mickey grumbles, but the furrow between his brows has disappeared, a half-amused smirk on his lips.
"Count yourself lucky you didn't get one the day he started lookin' at you like you hung the moon and fucking stars," she jokes, which makes him snicker. She thinks back to the days Ian and Mickey were just teenagers wrapped around each other's little fingers, smiling little smiles that they only shared with each other and falling asleep side by side in whatever cramped space was available to them, be it Ian's childhood bed or the worn and torn Gallagher couch. Mickey had been the farthest thing from an angel at the time and he's still pretty far off, but if she could go back she'd have started calling him angelface the second he proved he was in it for the long haul. She takes a deep breath and perches on the edge of the table. "How's he been?"
"Good," Mickey says quickly, not dismissively but confidently, his blue eyes fond as he glances towards the doorway again. "Sleepin' a lot but he's eating and keeping up a routine and all that shit. He"– Mickey hesitates here, eyes darting back and forth between Fiona's face and the floor as a flush climbs his cheeks. –"works real fuckin' hard, y'know? He doesn't want anyone to worry, not like when we were kids. He knows his shit and he fuckin'... He works hard."
Fiona smiles. She does know. Ian's never been half-hearted in anything he cares about, and hearing that he cares about taking care of himself soothes some of the worry that's always going to nag at her, wondering if he's got his head above water.
"Helps that he's got you," she says, giving Mickey some of the long overdue credit she never let him have before. Mickey rolls his eyes and his fingers twitch like he's going to flip her off but ultimately he just pulls out three mugs to pour coffee into. She smiles, recalling how he was with Mandy, bickering and cussing back and forth but always reserving a special kind of sweetness for each other that they didn't share with anyone else in their family. Fiona knows better than anyone that siblings can't be replaced, but him offering her a little of the friendliness he used to reserve for his little sister makes her happy.
"Fi."
Ian's voice, slow and rough with sleep, breaks the comfortable silence in the kitchen. Fiona jumps up and launches herself at her little brother in a tight hug, smiling into his shoulder when he wraps his arms around her.
"I didn't know you were coming over," he mumbles, tucking his face down into her shoulder the same way he used to do back when they were the same height. He has to bend his neck down to do it now, making himself smaller as she brings a hand up to run her fingers through his curls.
"Lip called after you went to sleep, didn't wanna wake you," Mickey explains, voice soft.
Fiona grins as she pulls away from him, leaning up to kiss his cheek.
"Hey, sweetface," she murmurs, pinching his cheek and pulling a whine from Ian. "Forgot how tall you are."
"You were gone for too long," he replies, but there's no hard feelings in his voice. She still thinks about the day she left, visiting him in prison and squeezing his hands tight so she wouldn't forget the warmth of his palms once she let go. His smile, supportive and sad and excited all at once had reflected all of her own feelings and tied her stomach in knots but also grounded her, reminding her that her family would always be here for her to come home to. She kisses his cheek again even though this too makes him whine before finally letting him go.
"Now that you got your own place I'll visit more often," she reassures him. Through the bleary, sleepy expression on his face Ian smiles.
"You better," he jokes, before stepping over to kiss Mickey's cheek. She watches them exchange gentle 'good morning's, Mickey's hand trailing up and down Ian's spine in a way that's so casual, so clearly the norm for them, that she has to look away before she gets teary-eyed.
They sit around the kitchen table, coffee mugs and Pop-Tarts and pills and cigarettes all carefully laid out in front of them. Seeing them go about their lives with her there, mumbling about bills and what they dreamt last night and whether or not the movie they've been wanting to watch will be easy to pirate, is the best gift she's ever received. Lip has his own family, Carl has a great job, Debbie is a better mother than Monica ever dreamed of being, Liam is cleverer than any of them and Ian is doing well. Better than well, even after everything he's been through, after being let down in ways Fiona will never be able to forget. They all did good with what they were given, but it's Ian's life - cozy and safe and domestic - that makes her happiest.
"You're never gonna guess what she fuckin' called me, man," Mickey says suddenly, drawing Fiona's attention back to the present. Ian raises an eyebrow and turns his attention to his big sister, already smiling before she says anything.
"You're sweetface, only makes sense if he's angelface," she defends the sappy nickname, giggling when Ian laughs out loud. Mickey is only slightly less amused, blushing when Ian reaches out to hold his hand.
"Makes sense to me, Mick," he says, which has his husband rolling his eyes.
"Course you'd side with her, fuckin' payback for me siding with Debbie one time, huh?" he mutters, which brings forth another round of teasing from Ian. Fiona listens to them and makes a mental note to ask about Mickey and Debbie later. For now she just steeps in the peace of their apartment, of the life they've carved out for themselves, and breathes a sigh of relief.
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pinkrangermemes · 1 day
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EPIC: The Musical
lyrics that absolutely fuck me up, feel free to change pronouns and such as needed
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"A mission to kill someone's son, a foe who won't run, unlike anyone you have faced before."
"I'd rather bleed for you."
"This is the will of the gods."
"Don't make me do this."
"The blood on your hands is something you won't lose. All you can choose is whose."
"You're as old as he was when I left for war."
"How could I hurt you?"
"I'm just a man who's trying to go home."
"When does a man become a monster?"
"When does the reason become the blame?"
"Forgive me."
"We should try to find a way no one ends up dead."
"You can relax, my friend."
"Think of all that we have been through. We'll survive what we get into."
"This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms."
"I see in your face there is so much guilt inside your heart."
"Have you forgotten to turn off your heart? This is not you."
"Have you forgotten your purpose? Let me remind you."
"Don't forget that you're a warrior of a very special kind."
"Don't disappoint me."
"What gives you the right to deal a pain so deep?"
"Don't you know that pain you sow is pain you reap?"
"Your life now is in my hand."
"A trade, you see. Take from me like you took from me."
"You shall be the final man to die."
"It's just one life to take."
"When we kill him our journey's over."
"Captain?"
"You've hurt me enough."
"When I kill you, my pain is over."
"Mark my words now. This is not the end."
"Remember them."
"Who hurts you?"
"If nobody hurt you, be silent."
"He's still a threat until he's dead."
"Finish it."
"What good would killing do, when mercy is a skill more of this world could learn to use?"
"The blood we shed, it never dries."
"I am your darkest moment."
"I am the infamous _______!"
"This way, you won't disappoint me."
"This way, you won't waste my time."
"Unlike you, every time someone dies, I'm left to deal with the strain."
"I'll remind you, I saw you as a friend, but now we're done."
"This way, you won't plague my life."
"This way, you'll close the door and have your damn goodbye."
"Since you claim you're so much wiser, why's your life spent all alone?"
"You're alone!"
"This day, you sever your own head."
"This day, you lost it all. Consider this as my goodbye."
"Don't forget how dangerous the gods are."
"How much longer 'til your luck runs out?"
"You rely on wit, and people die on it."
"I still believe in goodness."
"Lead from the heart, and see what starts."
"And what will we do when it tears us apart?"
"You're like the brother I could never do without."
"How much longer 'til your strength takes leave?"
"I can't have you planting seeds of doubt."
"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."
"Sometimes killing is a must."
"Friends turn into foes and rivalries."
"Never really know who you can trust."
"The end always justifies the means."
"So much has changed, but I'm the same."
"I'm left without a choice and without a doubt."
"Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves."
"You are the worst kind of good 'cause you're not even great."
"You are far too nice."
"Mercy has a price."
"Unlike you, I've got no mercy left to give."
"The line between naivete and hopefulness is almost invisible."
"What have you done?"
"I am your darkest moment, the monster that always draws near."
"Remember me."
"There's only so much left we can endure."
"Think of your past and your mistakes."
"No, I'm not a player. I'm a puppeteer."
"I can hardly sleep now, knowing everything we've done."
"It's a game of wits, but you don't have to play."
"A foe like ____ is not to be messed with."
"You could be hurt or you could beat her."
"I'll help you conquer her."
"Wouldn't you like your outcome preferred?"
"Don't thank me, friend, you very well may die."
"Did you do something to them?"
"I don't know who you are or why you're here, but let me make this one thing clear."
"I've got people to protect, friends I can't neglect, so now there is no turning back."
"Back at home my wife waits for me. She's my everything, my _____."
"Maybe showing one act of kindness leads to kinder souls down the road."
"This land confuses your mind."
"All I hear are screams every time I dare to close my eyes."
"I no longer dream, only nightmares of those who've died."
"Why would you let _____ live when ruthlessness is mercy?"
"I keep thinking of the infant from that night."
"____, when you come home, I'll be waiting."
"Even if you're the last thing I see, I'll be waiting."
"I took too long."
"I'll always love you."
"Your past is always close behind."
"I see a song of past romance."
"I see portrayals of betrayal and a brother's final stand."
"I see a man who gets to make it home alive, but it's no longer you."
"We've suffered and sailed through the toughest of Hells, now you tell us our efforts were nothing?"
"I see a wife with a man who is haunting. A man with a trail of bodies."
"How has everything been turned against us?"
"How did suffering become so endless?"
"Do I need to change?"
"What if I'm the monster?"
"What if I'm the problem that's been hiding all along?"
"If I became the monster, and threw that guilt away, would that make us stronger?"
"So what if I'm the monster lurking deep below?"
"If I gotta drop another infant from a wall in an instant so we all don't die, then I'll become the monster."
"I'll become the monster."
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@galefcrce My muse has died. Send in your muse’s reaction.
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"When your light dims, I'll be waiting for you."
These were Gale's last words to her. He didn't even say it himself, but rather a leftover of life force in his corpse. It made her question, for the first time ever, if any of what the corpses said were true. Not that she doubted Gale, but those words were so bittersweet, she couldn't help but sob. The spell broke before even five questions were answered. Her arms were tight around Gale, her tears mixing with the blood in his robe while she felt her nose running, her voice cracking, getting a headache from the lack of breath.
He was gone.
It was hard to move on, hard to have one's future ripped from one's hand so badly, all the plans they had, all those things she couldn't tell him. On Jaheira's advice, she began to write letters to Gale he would never receive.
About them helping to rebuild Baldur's Gate, about her travels to Waterdeep and meeting his mother, about the many stories she told and wondered if her favorite wizard would be angry at his mother for telling her those, or if he would just slide embarrassed under the table. The scratches of Tara she deserved when hearing upon his fate.
But time passed, people got older. She noted down how Wyll was even in his old age truly the blade of the frontier and only accepted her help when he truly couldn't stand up anymore from his chair.
Gale, I bet you would have looked breathtaking with silver hair. Your little strands already were driving me almost crazy. I began counting them, just like you did with my freckles. I never finished though. It was a wonderful way to spend time in the quiet with you.
How she spent her adventuring time with Jaheira and the Harpers, always on a search for a cure or a way so Astarion could go back into the sun. Also, how Jaheira, just like Wyll, denied any help of her, but her children loved and cared under big nagging their mother to the end. How resilient could a woman be? Ceres was sure Jaheira would die on the battlefield just like Minsc, but she wasn't as reckless.
Tell me, Gale, did you ever want children? If yes, how would you name them? If not, how many dogs would I be allowed to adopt? And how would we name those? What about a Tressym family?
After she left the Harpers, she tried to meet with Shadowheart as often as she could.
Did you know she really got her little farm? It's so much more work than she anticipated, but she never looked so happy. And despite having a farm, she somehow managed to smell like the flowers from her garden.
You always smelled like a library. I loved it. I loved your scent so much. Do you remember how I stole your robe after you went into the river? I said it was for a prank, but I was too shy to admit that your scent alone made me feel like there was nothing but a happy end waiting for us."
But when Shadowheart showed her first wrinkles and gray strands, it was then that Ceres too noticed that she was getting older. It began with Astarion more often than not suggesting a break. The roads they managed to pass got shorter, to explore dungeons always included a long rest.
I heard of a spell called wish that could heal Astarion. Also, that one can use a divine favor to cure him. I am sure you knew that, didn't you? Astarion immediately dismissed the chance a god would help him. Who can blame him? In all those centuries, they never came to help us. I wonder, if I would have agreed with you to get the Crown of Karsus, would you be alive? Was I wrong to stop you? (I love you so much.)
The days get heavier, longer. Astarion suggested we should visit Halsin again in Reithwyn, haven't seen him for so long. I was really giddy at this suggestion. But were the roads always this bumpy? Or do they just build worse carriages over the centuries? Astarion said he didn't notice anything. It's hard to tell how old my body is, except when I look at my hands. I see wrinkles, I see veins, I think I got more freckles and your old count does not count anymore. When we meet, you have to start anew. Halsin got me immediately an own room. Despite being older than me, he still looks like on the first day. Maybe I should have become a druid too.
I still can't stop thinking about the spell to heal Astarion. I wonder if you need to be a chosen or a cleric for a divine favor. For sure, I did everything Eilistraee would be proud of me. I will try my luck. If she doesn't listen to one of Baldur's Gate's heroes, maybe at least Astarion found a home at Halsin's side.
My last days I spend with praying. My knees hurt, my limbs ache. I am at a point where I pray because I cannot get up anymore without the help of one of the people from Reithwyn. It makes me wonder, if Mystra had made you a chosen again, would you have stopped aging like Elminster one day? Would you be next to me, with long, silver hair, and help me up? Would you be the one, forced to watch me age, while you live eternally? Maybe what I am doing is for naught, but it's all I can do, while my body is too weak to even pass the city's border.
I cannot leave the bed, so I am reading all those letters I wrote to you, so I won't forget anything I wanted to tell you. But as my hands are shaking, writing this last letter to you, I know at least how to greet you. I will look into your wonderful, hazelnut eyes, and tell you... ... .. ,
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ecoamerica · 2 months
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youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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heliads · 2 days
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seven devils all around me - connor lassiter x roland taggart
Connor Lassiter is stuck in the basement beneath an antique store. Roland Taggart is waiting for him.
masterlist
They take the Unwinds away one by one.
It makes it better, somehow. The waiting. Better and worse. Better, because this means they’ll each individually move faster than if everyone was removed from the cellar underneath Sonia’s antique shop in one great, easily distracted group. Better, because there’s a slimmer chance of everyone getting caught by vengeful Juvey-cops if there’s just one feral moving at a time than a group of a dozen dead kids walking.
Worse, because it means that the familiar faces are disappearing slowly but surely. The idea exists that they are being taken somewhere safe, but no one can be certain. All Connor Lassiter knows is that the few people in this world that he even halfway trusts are vanishing into the hands of khaki-uniformed strangers. Every few days, someone else goes up the trapdoor and  back into the light, and their numbers shrink down to dust, a not-quite friend group being wound down into a mere handful of uneasy souls.
At first, it didn’t trouble Connor all that much. He pictured it like a doctor’s waiting room:  no matter how long he waited, they’d all be seen eventually. A couple of the kids he barely knew were taken first, which didn’t matter, but then he got to know the rest better and their loss hurt more than when he didn’t remember their names, so. That’s what he gets for trying to make friends, apparently.
As their numbers seriously started to thin, though, Connor started getting shifty again. All of a sudden, there were four. Connor and Risa (the baby removed first, probably less out of moral obligation than the need to get the wailing infant out of that tiny space), joined at the hip ever since they crossed paths while running away. Also remaining in the darkness is Hayden in the back, trying out his sarcastic jokes on an ever-shrinking group of people, and, because the universe apparently cannot hate Connor enough, Roland.
Risa goes next. Connor expected to feel more unsettled by her disappearance after so much time spent watching each other’s backs, but instead the first uncharitable thought in his mind is that at least he won’t be glared at every time he says something wrong. He’s not a flawless human being, even if Risa seems to expect that he’ll be just as perfect as she is.
About half a week later, soldiers in khaki come back down the stairs. Connor waits to see which one of the three remaining unwinds they’ll bring out. It must be him or Roland. Connor’s more of a high profile figure at this point, but Roland’s been here longer, and if they’re trying to get the kids who’ve been waiting for greater intervals, they’ve got to take him out first. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking, though.
To Connor’s surprise, the guards instead point to Hayden and gruffly tell him to get a move on. The blond pumps a fist in mock celebration, then glances between Connor and Roland. “Try not to tear each other to pieces, will you? Leave that for the Juveys.”
With those words of wisdom, Hayden heads for the door, not inclined to loiter in the dark basement any more than he has to. Connor can’t blame him. If he had the chance to get out, he’d sprint up those stairs in a heartbeat.
The guards replenish some of the supplies in the basement, then leave at last, shutting the trapdoor behind them with an ominous thud. Connor is left with the chilling realization that Hayden was the last person who could possibly stand between him and Roland. Now that Hayden’s gone, nothing can stop Roland from finally acting on the hatred that’s been simmering between both of them from the second Connor got here.
Connor can’t believe they’d actually leave him here with Roland. When you have two guys who obviously hate each other’s guts, you don’t abandon them to each other. It reminds Connor of a riddle he heard when he was a kid– a chicken, some corn, and a fox stuck on one side of a river, a raft only big enough for two passengers, and a hapless farmer forced to figure out the order in which to ferry his passengers across so nothing gets eaten. Whoever’s playing the game with their lives has obviously fucked up this round, but unlike in a riddle, there are no second tries. Connor is left to get consumed by the fox eyeing him coldly from the other side of the basement.
Above him, the footsteps of the guards and Hayden bleed away, softened by antique rugs and then gone for good. Most days, Connor likes to pretend that he can hear trucks coming and going. It makes him believe that maybe there is a plan for all of them after they leave, that they won’t just be dumped somewhere alone again.
Today, though, he hates it. Hates them for leaving them here. Shouldn’t they know better? Even Hayden managed to figure that out in the span of a second. Any soldier with a week of experience should be able to tell that you don’t stick the two kids who hate each other the most in a dark basement with only the other for company. Already, Connor’s eyes are adjusting to the gloom again, but he doesn’t like the sight any better than he did on his first day.
“So,” a cold voice rings out across the semi-darkness. “They actually left us here alone. Didn’t think they’d do it.”
Connor scoffs, trying not to let any sign of apprehension slip through. “What, you got bored of my lively personality?”
“Humor doesn’t suit you, Connor,” Roland drawls. “Hayden got away with it because we liked him better than you. You can’t hide behind him any longer, though. It’s just us down here. Just you and me.”
“Charming,” Connor mumbles. “But it’ll be over in a few days. Then one of us will be alone. I hope it’s you.”
Something almost like sympathy twists at Connor’s gut as he says it. Even though he despises Roland, the thought of being alone down here in the dark and depressing basement is a fate he would kill to avoid. If he’s thinking that, though, Roland probably is too. And if Connor is willing to kill to not be the one left behind, Roland must be foaming at the mouth at the thought of it.
Roland chuckles. The sound issues across the basement until it coasts up to Connor, making the hair on his arms stand up with a rush. They’ve positioned themselves to be as far apart as possible, but their placement on opposite sides of the basement means that they’re constantly staring each other dead in the eyes. One blink, one glance away, and one of them could be on the other in a heartbeat. So they keep staring, and no one moves. There are no more bodies to keep between them. Just Connor, and Roland, and the awful distance between.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? You’d love it if they left me here? Bet it would make you feel awfully safe if I was locked up all the time. You think you’re a big man, Connor, but you’re scared of me.”
Connor scoffs and looks away. There’s a little too much knowledge in Roland’s gaze, and it sharpens to a knifepoint between Connor’s brows. In his peripheral vision, Connor can see Roland shifting slightly, jutting his chin up. Proud. Correct. Despicable.
“I’m not scared of you. Guys like you are a dime a dozen. If I wanted a greasy thug, I’d go to a gas station.” Connor spits out.
Roland stands in one swift motion, like he’s been yanked up by an invisible hand. Connor’s head jerks back up, but he’s looked back too late– Roland is already moving. The pretense is gone. Whatever they do here, they’ve been building up to it since the first day.
At first, Roland just hovers on the balls of his feet, leaning casually against the wall behind him. The basement is not tall, and he has to bend slightly so his head doesn’t scrape the ceiling. This gives the impression that Roland is leaning towards him, close enough to reach. Close enough to snap his jaws shut around Connor’s throat.
“You are scared,” Roland breathes triumphantly. “You’re so obvious. Even if you left me here, you’d never stop being scared. You’d go all across the world and you’d never stop thinking about me. I’d be a bigger part of you than anything.”
Connor shakes his head. “You’re wrong. You’re nothing to me.”
“I don’t believe you,” Roland hisses, and he’s across the basement in a second. Connor doesn’t even see him move. He blinks and the other boy is standing right in front of him, the tips of his shoes nudging Connor in the sides. He has Connor bracketed just slightly, hardly touching him but making it obvious that Connor cannot move without Roland’s express permission.
“You can’t do that,” Connor says. He feels like a little boy, whining about someone stealing his toy. “You know the rules.”
Roland actually rolls his eyes. “There’s nobody down here, remember? They can’t see us.”
The rest goes unspoken. Nobody is here. Nobody would know. And nobody would tell. Certainly not Connor. That would mean admitting that he let one boy bother him to the point of telling, and even if they fight, Connor’s not a coward. He’s going to handle this himself.
He tries to stand, but Roland’s hand flashes out to grab him, pushing him down to the ground again by the shoulder.
“Get your hands off of me,” Connor spits.
“Make me,” Roland says, all teeth. He pinches Connor’s shoulder as he says it, further proof of what they both know by now to be true:  Roland does what he wants, when he wants. And Connor won’t do a thing to stop it.
“You’re crazy,” Connor says, leaning away from Roland. Maybe the guy will back off if Connor pretends he doesn’t care. “Did you get hit on the head recently? Be honest.”
“It’s sweet of you to ask,” Roland simpers. He sinks to one knee so he can get a better read of Connor’s disgust, and they’re practically breathing each other in now, barely a millimeter between them. “Of course, it’s not your job to worry. Not mine, either. It’s not my head anymore, is it? Belongs to the Juveys. Who knows who’ll get my brain? Maybe you might end up with a piece or two.” He knocks his fist against Connor’s temple, less like a punch, more like a tap against an unlocked door. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Not knowing who was flirting with your girl, me or you? Or maybe my brain’s too good for you. Maybe you’d get my arm instead.”
Connor tries not to let his disgust at the idea show, but he’s not entirely successful. His dislike must be obvious, because Roland flashes him a dark grin, the expression broad and all-consuming. “What, you don’t like the ink?”
“I’m not a big fan of dolphins,” Connor hisses back.
Irritated, Roland snaps his jaws, teeth crashing together just a hair’s breadth from the tip of Connor’s nose. He doesn’t flinch, thankfully, but his eyes track the movement nonetheless, which makes Roland’s victorious smile loom again as if he had moved after all. 
“See?” Roland says, smooth and slow. “Scared. I see you.”
“You wish,” Connor retorts. “I’d be more scared of a spider.”
“Prove it, then,” Roland tells him. He’s so assured of himself that he even leans back a little, resting casually where he kneels on the cold floor of the basement right in front of Connor. He truly doesn’t believe that Connor could do a damn thing to him that matters.
He’s wrong, though. Connor can. Roland is expecting a fight, or an insult, something he can counter, but that’s the wrong move. Mama may have raised a boy she could give away for forms signed in triplicate but she sure as hell didn’t raise a fool, so Connor knows he must do something terrible, something worse, something to ruin this dark place forever. There’s one last trick up Connor’s sleeve, but it’s the wrong move, it’s the wrong path to start because once he starts going he’ll never stop. He should back off now, but he’s just like Roland in that aspect– could never back down, could never do anything but hurl himself directly into trouble– there is simply no other option– no choice– 
Connor’s mouth collides with Roland’s so harshly that their teeth crush together. He has the brief thought that he’d like to do that again, leaving the other boy bloody and bruised, and a sharp spike of something hot but not entirely unpleasant courses through him at the thought. Connor’s hand locks onto Roland’s throat a moment later, fingernails scrabbling for purchase before sliding down to grip the neck of his t-shirt. Maybe he should have gone for the throat first instead of the mouth, but that wasn’t the part that mattered. It was an afterthought. Throttle the boy, but not before you make him yours.
Roland lets out a surprised choke of air, just enough for Connor’s stomach to twist with satisfaction at getting the other hand, before he kisses Connor back with the same force if not more, enough to knock Connor’s head back against the wall. Connor gasps at the impact, giving Roland enough purchase to start pushing him into the ground again. Roland would bury him beneath the earth if he could, Connor thinks. He would erase all evidence that Connor had ever existed. Only Roland would know that he had been there at all. 
He’d like that too, Connor thinks with a shiver. Having that power over Connor. Owning him in every way that matters. Absolutely evil, but Connor is worse, because he has seen all of that and liked it. And allowed it to continue. And started it first.
Roland pulls away just a little, leaving both of them panting for breath. He kneels over Connor like a wild animal, and there’s a spark of something new in his eyes. It might be respect. “Didn’t think you had it in you, Lassiter.”
“You don’t know anything,” Connor growls, and forces them back together. One of his hands is bunched in the material of Roland’s shirt, the other reaching up past the throat to knot in Roland’s dark hair. He’s seen it from across the basement for days now, how it seemed to suck in all the light that touched it. He’s wanted to touch it, too, for a very long time. Connor tugs on the roots, jerking Roland’s head back, exposing the veins pulsing against the skin. If he only had a blade– but he is the blade now, he is the weapon. Connor could kill him right now, and he wouldn’t even need a knife.
The thought shocks him out of whatever trance made him do this. Connor pushes him away, suffering for purchase against the dirty floor until he picks himself up and flings himself across the basement, ending up where Roland had been just minutes before. They stare at each other again, so far from where they started, but somehow exactly in the same position. Two lions stuck in a cage, pacing, circling, until one lunges to draw blood and they engage once more.
“This won’t happen again,” Connor informs him. Even he doesn’t believe it.
Roland laughs pityingly. “You tell yourself that. We’ve got plenty of time before they let us out. You’ll get bored. Face it, Connor. You can never let me go.”
Connor shakes his head resolutely. This was a breach of judgment, a one-time slip. A mistake that won’t repeat. But he can still taste Roland’s breath on his tongue, and he can see where Roland’s dark hair is mussed from his hands, and Connor knows– he knows that he is wrong. That it will happen again. And he will start it, or Roland will, or both of them. It won’t matter. In the dark of the basement, where no one knows they’re alive, they can do whatever they want. This is what Connor wants. He's in a position to take it, so he will, again and again until they pull him out.
Then, who cares. He doesn’t have to think about that. He doesn’t have to think at all.
Roland grins. He’s won this round. Connor will have to beat him at something else, find a way to expose his throat to the cold, violent air or otherwise make him weak. He still has two hands and a pulse. He’ll find a way to get back on top.
Until then, Connor doesn’t have to remember a thing. The darkness swallows everything anyway. No point in looking.
a/n: for u babe @nealshustermanbrainrot
unwind tag list: @reinekes-fox, @sirofreak, @locke-writes
all tags list: @wordsarelife
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deus-and-the-machina · 10 months
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I think an underlooked part of what shaped jin’s mindset was how even back in Torna, he was considered “property”. He and Lora spent their whole lives avoiding the authorities of Torna because they believed would straight up execute Lora to get Jin back, and no one ever denies it. and this has seemingly been a fear since Lora was a child. Jin had to hide his face everywhere he went. Maybe Torna wouldn’t have been cruel enough to execute a child, especially since the king seemed decent(?) enough, if not a bit distant. But the fact it was even a fear at all for Lora since she was so young is just awful to think about. 
According to his past self’s journals, Jin and his old driver fought in a war of independence for Torna, perhaps what made him a hero to begin with. and because he’s a war hero for deeds he doesn’t even remember, the kingdom considers him owned by them. Which is on the nose in two different ways ngl. Both in how the Blades are seen and a wider metaphor of soldiers/state. idk it’s just very sad to think about
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steviescrystals · 14 days
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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orchideae · 6 months
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When I approach Yelan (or anyone else I've written), I don't just look directly at her character, but I also look at her surroundings. Both the ones that she knows by some semblance of necessity, but also those that she chooses. Like here, I talked about the Chasm, and what being 'okay' with existing down there needs to mean for a character, because it's not normal. Someone's surroundings, room, or home say a lot bout who they are and what their mindset, or specifically, their perspective is of the world. And sometimes, I think it says more about people than even the characters realize.
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This brings me to the topic of the city of Fontaine. Now, I personally think it's rather obvious that a lot of the nation takes from historical France, and so when looking at it, I think it really adds to remember its monarchy, the view that the 'common folk' had of it, and its inevitable demise to non-existence today in terms of importance as a result. So my first question is, who constructed or decided on its layout? Was it Furina, Neuvillette, Egeria? Whoever it was, there's a lot that can be said about their view of the world and their placement in it when you look at locations of buildings. Look at where Palais Mermonia, its governing body, is located within the city; it sits at a rather astounding elevation in comparison to, well, everything and everyone else in the city. This frequently represents the concept of 'distance' between groups in one way or another, and seeing the consistency in other nations, this is something that is rather intriguing to me, especially keeping Fontaine's characters in mind (and considering this is the nation of 'justice'). Mondstadt has everything almost entirely uniform, with arguably the church on the highest level (but it isn't greatly elevated in comparison to all else), but it's joined with the plaza and statue which are a common gathering site for all people in the city. Liyue had the gods and adepti visibly living among the humans back in the days of the Guili Assembly for reasons of 'integration' (my apologies to numerous from our dear Guizhong!) The fact that numerous adepti now live far outside of the harbor is a different matter entirely, and the one who seems to function within a semblance of separation of sorts is Ningguang with the Jade Chamber (but I'm not one to speak on behalf of her character as I don't bear the knowledge). Inazuma also has the Tenshukaku at a higher elevation in comparison to the rest of Inazuma City. Sumeru is interesting, but ultimately Nahida was kept at the very peak of the city, far out of reach of humanity— but that's exactly the common denominator that has my interest, the distance between the 'governing body' and humanity for one reason or another.
But Fontaine really takes separation to a different level in my opinion (and again, think of this when you think of the person having designed the whole city), not only because of the above which I'll elaborate more on in a moment, but also its separation from the outside world. Now, this is interesting to think about if you keep in mind that it was perhaps done in eventual protection of the city's inhabitants in terms of the prophecy (which means that this would have been constructed anywhere during or after Egeria's reign), but then why is only Palais Mermonia far above the water's reach? If the walls surrounding the city were ever breached during said prophecy, all its inhabitants are pretty much immediately caught in the flood and would drown, which tells me nothing positive of the city's 'architect' or whoever signed off on the designs. But if not done for the prophecy, then why? Stand in the middle of the Court of Fontaine and really look around you, the only sights you really have of the outside world are the sky, and it's obstructed by a fair bit of the waterways and gardens that hang overhead, which you can only properly enjoy when you take the ages long elevator to the upper level where the palace is located (which, credit due, seems freely accessible to everyone in present-time). But if you don't venture up, how much of the outside world do you get to see? It feels very secluded, very much under lock and key. On some level (and this is one of the many reasons why I think that the Meropide is so excessively important in Fontaine and it's likely why we spent so much time there; it's all to show the ever, ever important contrast and nuance between this 'autonomous nation within Fontaine' and, well, 'Fontaine'), it almost feels like a prison, regardless of how pretty it may look or come across (and despite not 'lacking rights'). And considering how people in the Meropide speak of not always wanting to return back to the 'overworld' following their sentence, I think that there's definitely quite a bit of truth in that. But again, stand there and look around for yourself.
Now to return to the original topic, but keeping the last one in mind as well, look at one other thing that I'm unsure how many have really kept an eye on: the massive effect Palais Mermonia's level has on the rest of the area (inside and outside of its walls). Have you ever walked through the city of Fontaine at any given time of day or night, north to south, east to west, clockwise or counter-clockwise circling through it; have you ever seen how it overshadows an immense part of the streets below it either entirely on its own (which to me signifies a very domineering presence), or together with those outer walls that surround the city? I know how I've spoken thoroughly with people before about how much I enjoy Fontaine and how dark it is in its storytelling, but despite how gorgeous this region with its water- and landscapes are; its city bears quite a heavy weight to me. I don't know who designed it, or ordered it to be constructed in this way, but nothing about the city itself truly, rationally, shows a healthy perspective versus its citizens.
Me: /continues on to ramble in tags because I'm me and I'm a nuisance with always more to say than I know how to coherently put into these posts.
#[ meta. ] the chances are if i open this door; there can be no witnesses left alive. is that a sufficient reason for you?#[ i love how i'm writing a liyue-based character and here i am rambling about fontaine. ]#[ listen my little french heart just ached at this. i've been sitting on it for so long and have been wanting to talk about it. ]#[ but every time i hear 'fontaine is so pretty' -- i agree. i truly do. and the city has become my new 'hub' away from liyue harbor... ]#[ which says a ton in itself. ]#[ so trust me when i say i enjoy it and find it gorgeous. but i don't have any real kind words to spare on who designed it. ]#[ and i don't mean that in an insulting/bad kind of way but more so in the sense of-- whichever god likely designed this-- ]#[ how much worth was placed where; you know? ]#[ this is why i find the gods and all of their differing views so inherently interesting. ]#[ but then i also sit here longer and think more of the meropide. ]#[ and how THAT is supposed to be the prison. hmmmm. and yet /that/ is the place many seem to not want to leave anymore. ]#[ the place that is run and made better by the person whose tragic case was entirely missed and neglected by the authorities. ]#[ ah yes; the meropide. aka meropis-- the retelling (was it a parody? i believe so) of plato's story of atlantis. ]#[ which was sunk by the gods as punishment to its people for leading lives they deigned morally unjust and petty and /greedy/. ]#[ ah yes. the references never end. ]#[ granted we know how the meropide came to be-- so if egeria was in charge of that. chances are she likely was for fontaine as well. ]#[ well-- ]#[ well. ]#[ yep. i have more to say but i'm struggling to find my words-- so here we are for now! ]
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bumblingbabooshka · 11 months
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Seska in ‘state of flux’ literally acting for her life you gotta love her
#also why does Chakotay call him 'chief inspector Tuvok' wth that's so cool!!!#anyway yeah Seska's sheer commitment to the bit of CHAKOTAY....ME!?!?!? You think I did this!?!??!? is stunning <3#Seska a cardassian agent: Hey - even I was a cardassian agent your secrets wouldn't be worth it okay??? love you <3#<- venting her frustations#also the way Chakotay acts in this episode...I love you so much Chakotay but no wonder you didn't know there were TWO spies aboard your ship#Seska: -being the most suspicious woman in the world- Chakotay....I made you mushroom soup and this is how you repay me??#Chakotay: damn...you're so right. She's right.#Tuvok: She isn't right.#Chakotay: She's SO right v_v#he's NOT an idiot I'm not saying he's dumb he just wants to trust his crew~!!! Genuinely love that about him - gives second chances to#people who might not seem exactly on the up-and-up in the eyes of those with a stricter moral code like Janeway and I wish we'd seen more#of that coming in handy...like Chakotay urging her to trust people she (and Tuvok) would regularly disregard#Now CHAKOTAY would make a good spy...he just has a demeanor that makes you wanna trust him#'You're a fool captain...and you're a fool to follow her' - Seska#'We'll have to find another day to settle up with Seska' - Janeway#<- I like these quotes#I wish Seska had become a more persistent villain v_v like I wish she'd been more on-her-own gathering more and more allies#Seska and her ever-growing army of steadily more major baddies who she accumulates by doing shady deals#but every so often...she seems like she throws Voyager a LITTLE bone and you're left to wonder#<- she still dies in the end (after much longer) and everyone's sadder about it then they thought they'd be
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navramanan · 8 months
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So tired of continuesly feeling this way I keep trying and failing time and time and time again
#i dont want to feel a profound sadness anytime anyone (especially someone i know) expresses being grateful about their group of friends#i dont want to feel this way every time i find out about them being at a social gathering or whatever together#i feel so awful so so awfully patheticly lonely i feel so stupid and i feel so horrible when admitting it#and i fall into deep worry about my situation never changing bc everyone i know has a network of friends from childhood or school#and pretty much no one from my childhood or school stayed in my life i feel so scared of my future how will i live a life this way#anytime i come across a post talking about long time friends i cannot stomach reading it#it's all so debilitating and i dont know how much longer i can keep on ranting like this#i moved countries i hoped things would change i approached people i talked i asked to hang out three years later i'm left with two#(used to be three but she seems to not care about me at all) seperate friends i'm so grateful for both#but it doesnt work out. it doesnt work this way. i cannot socialize with them since theyre not muslim n we have very different life styles#so i tried finding muslim friends i got associated with the muslim students association went to gatherings joined the book club#i met very lovely girls but nothing more came out of it#i remember the first time i took part in something it was two years ago i talked with a group#it was a group who already were friends and one girl who also had just met them#a year later i find out theyve all become friends and hang out. vallahi i dont know what it is i'm doing wrong i'm so tired and so desperate#it kills me. it's so scary to not have a social network not have friends to lean on to call when youre in need it's so isolating#i've lived my teen years this way i'm continuing to live my 20s this way and cant stop but think it has to do with me#anyways enough of that now bye#nesi rants
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teabookgremlin · 11 months
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i’ve been obsessively checking facebook i feel like a boomer
#for context#iris’s placement needs to change so that she can be closer to professionals due to her recent behavioral issues#and one of the trainers posted on the organization’s facebook group looking for a volunteer to take her#so i keep checking that post in case anyone’s commented saying they’ll take her#bc i’m so stressed out not knowing how much longer i’ll have with her#and also stressed bc her training has been put on hold for the time#so i’m really nervous that she’ll be off training for too long and that even if she gets through her behavioral issues#she won’t be able to graduate and go on to be a working dog#not to mention all the stress of her being the second dog i’ve trained who’s needed to be moved due to reactivity#which makes me feel like it’s my fault and i’m bad at this#even tho a trainer has confirmed that she doesn’t think i’m doing anything wrong#but still#i’m nervous they won’t want me to keep puppy raising which is an irrational fear#bc i haven’t been told anything of the sort#just ugh i’m just having a rough time rn#also if iris is gonna be transferred it needs to happen before august bc i’ll be super busy#with moving into my dorm and then working at freshmen orientation at my school#so i just won’t be able to mentally handle that stress plus iris having just left#i just need to have set dates like ok iris is leaving on this day i can get a new dog on this day#but unfortunately i really can’t get that specificity right now#anyway that was a lot of rambling whoops
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whateveriwant · 6 months
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Task force 141 reacting to their very pregnant wife still trying to clean, cook etc
This turned more into ‘Task force 141 preventing their very pregnant wife from trying to clean, cook, etc’ lmaooooo I hope that's alright
Price
HA! Good one!
No seriously, it's actually hilarious that you think you'd do anything for yourself when your hubby's around
That man has been waiting on you hand and foot since you first got together. So now that you're pregnant and you think he'd let you so much as lift a finger? You must have a serious case of pregnancy brain, sweetheart
Price is doing all the cooking, the cleaning, the running errands, etc. throughout the entirety of your pregnancy (and at least the first several months postpartum)
He's kept you practically bed bound these last few months to the point where you think there's a perfect indent of your body molded into the mattress
Seven months in, he's suddenly called away to a quick mission halfway across the globe, and you think finally you'll get some of your autonomy back...
Well, think again because who should show up at your door the next morning than your mother-in-law herself, ready to pick up where her son left off
She came at the behest of your husband, of course, and was armed with a detailed set of care instructions
What does your husband think you are? Some sort of one-of-a-kind, priceless artifact that needs special handling? (Actually that's exactly what you are. Price-less… I'll see myself out 🚶🏻‍♀️)
Ghost
When it comes to having some semblance of independence during your pregnancy, Ghost will give you a bit of a longer leash than Price, but only just so
You’re going for a walk around the neighborhood? Hold on, let him grab his coat to join you. Or you're going into the backyard to tend the garden? He'll pull the weeds while you water the plants
But when it comes to letting you do certain things, there are some hard nos that he will absolutely not budge on
You try to use a stepladder to reach the top of the cupboard? Stop! You'll break your neck! You try to pick up anything heavier than 10 pounds? Stop! Give it here! You try to drive?... Don't even fuckin' think about it, precious.
The farther along your pregnancy progresses, the better he gets at predicting (and intercepting) your next move
You were gonna do laundry today? Well, wouldn't you know, he's already got a load going in the washer. You were about to make dinner? Well shucks, he just ordered takeaway from that Greek place you love
His ability to read your mind is honestly impressive once you get past how damn annoying you find it. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you're incapable of fending for yourself, and you're tired of him acting as if otherwise
But really, you can never get mad at anything he does for you. After all, what kind of a husband would he be if he didn't take care of his missus and your little one?
Soap
If you take Ghost’s cautiousness, mix it with Price’s thoroughness, and crank it up to an 11, you get Soap
From the moment he found out you were pregnant, he put your house into full lockdown mode, stopping just short of booby trapping the front door in case you got any funny ideas
You want some fresh air? Just open a window. You want to go for a walk and stretch your legs? Just take a few turns about the living room like you're some Austenian heroine
Don't let him catch you doing any kind of physical labor, because so help him Jesus he will grab a spray bottle and use it like you're a feral alleycat he's trying to house-train (he wouldn't really... but don't test him)
You try to unload the dishwasher? Ehrr! Wrong move. You try to remake the bed? Ehrr! Nice try. You try to mop up your own mess. Ehrr! Enough already. You try to– OCH, WOULD YE BLOODY SIT DOWN, WOMAN?!
For nine long months during his requested leave from work, your husband is attached to you like some kind of loving, smothering barnacle
But doesn't he miss his job, or the lads for that matter? What if the world needs saving? What will they do without him?
Well, (in his exact words) fuck the rest of the world! You're his world, bonnie, and he'll give you everything you could ever wish for and then some
Gaz
By far, you have the most independence with Gaz than you would with any of the other three men… at least, at the beginning of your pregnancy, that is
Once you get to around five or six months he becomes just as helicopter-y as all the others; he's just ever so slightly more bearable, perhaps
There's lots of peeking his head around the corner to check on you throughout the day or appearing seemingly out of thin air whenever you're doing something he'd rather you wouldn't
You've lost count of the number of times you've been in the middle of cooking or hanging up the laundry or whatever and his hand has suddenly appeared out of nowhere, gently taking the object from you before directing you to sit and rest
And like, look. He knows you can handle yourself. He knows you could conquer the whole world if you wanted to. That's one of the things he loves about you the most
But seeing you like this – so fragile, so vulnerable, so beautiful and soft and pregnant with his child; his child – it just… It makes him…
He just needs to do these things for you, alright, love? Just let him take care of you, please? Would you let him do that?
You already have so much you have to carry. Let him ease some of the burden off your shoulders. Let him do these small things for you because they don't even compare to all that you're doing for him 🥲
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sunniques · 1 month
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— 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 ?
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➺ PAIRING: lee heeseung x female reader
➺ GENRE: stepbrother au, smut
➺ SUMMARY: the story of how your stepbrother’s girlfriend realizes her boyfriend has never really been hers.
➺ CW/TW: stepcest, infidelity, possessiveness, heeseung can lift reader, cucking kink, voyeurism, masturbation (f), oral sex (f), fingering, face sitting, unprotected sex, creampies
➺ WC: 4.6k
NOTE: don’t like, don’t read.
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A lot of people find your relationship with your stepbrother cute. How could they not? He’s always so doting and protective like a real brother would be. In spite of being only slightly older, Heeseung takes on a very important role in your life. He constantly goes out of his way to take care of you, making sure you have anything you could possibly need.
Heeseung’s girlfriend never thought too much about the relationship between you two. It was natural that he took the naive college freshman under his wing and constantly had you by his side. Mina found it endearing, actually. The way he worried about you like a mother hen who wasn’t ready for her young chick to go into the world alone is adorable and a good sign. After dating so many inconsiderate losers, she thinks she’s finally chosen the right guy.
But somewhere along the way, Mina starts to grow tired of it. Time has gone by, and you’re no longer a naive freshman who can’t get around without her boyfriend’s help. Of course family is important, but it’s not like you’re entirely helpless. And yet, that’s exactly the way Heeseung acts. He’s always ready to drop everything when you need him. On several humiliating occasions, he’s even left her half naked on his bed just to go to you because you bought something you couldn’t figure out how to put together, or because you wanted to hang out with him.
It’s hard for Mina to admit that she’s a little jealous. Especially because it all seems so ridiculous. There’s no way her boyfriend actually wants you like that. But as time goes on, she thinks that maybe she’s not all that crazy. Especially with the affectionate way her boyfriend looks at you. Despite all this, Mina doesn’t say anything. At least, not until Heeseung starts to bring you along to what were meant to be dates.
“Babe, why do you keep bringing your stepsister? i thought we were going on a date?” It’s hard for her to not sound bitter and annoyed.
“Her roommate is going to visit her parents, and I don’t want Y/N to be alone.” His tone is kind and gentle like always, but it’s also firm and leaves no room for arguments.
What’s worse is that Mina can’t bring herself to hate or blame you. In a way, she understands why her boyfriend is always so concerned about you. You’re so nice and trusting that it would be way too easy for someone to take advantage of that. There’s also the fact that you’ve been more than willing to let them have some alone time, but Heeseung never lets you leave.
It’s all so strange and frustrating that Mina feels like she has to take matters into her own hands. So she does.
The key to Heeseung letting you go is getting you a boyfriend—or at least getting you to start dating. It’s easy enough to find a guy who’s interested in you. That’s never been a problem for you, and all it takes is her showing your picture to the cute guy in her communications class for her plan to fall into place. As luck would have it, you’re also into meeting the guy and going out with him.
Little did Mina know, setting you up with him would be a mistake that would cost her everything.
On the night you’re meant to meet up with her classmate, Mina excitedly goes to her boyfriend’s apartment. It’s been a long time since she got to be alone with Heeseung, and she was going to make the most of it.
She’s dressed in tiny tank top and a cute little skirt that Heeseung loves—it barely hides the lingerie she’s wearing underneath. Mina quietly lets herself into her boyfriend’s apartment using her spare key. Quietly, she tiptoes to his room only to find the door wide open. What she doesn’t expect is to find you sitting on his the edge of bed while Heeseung kneels in front of you.
Mina feels like a bucket of cold water has been dumped on her as his pretty hands rub your soft thighs. You look incredible, clad in a cute little dress with your makeup and hair done to perfection. It’s a mistake for Mina to keep watching, but she can’t find her voice at the moment.
“Seungie, what’s wrong?”
God, Mina hates that you call him that. Mostly because she can tell how much Heeseung likes it.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going out to meet some guy?” Heeseung sounds almost venomous, but it’s like you don’t hear it. “Who is he? How’d you meet him?”
You tilt your head, pretty lips pulled down in a confused frown. “Didn’t Mina tell you? She set me up with a guy from her class. He’s really cute!”
A chill goes down Mina’s spine. She can see Heeseung’s back tense when you tell him how your date came to be. The air feels almost murderous as he gently squeezes your thighs.
It kills Heeseung that he was almost too late in stopping you from meeting some strange guy in the pretty little dress you have on. He softly rubs your thighs, eyes simmering with anger and desire he doesn’t care to hide. Not anymore.
“Oh, angel.” Your stepbrother murmurs, hands slowly trailing up to your thighs. “You know you’re my favorite girl, right?”
An unsuspecting smile graces your lips. “Yeah. And you’re my favorite guy.”
Heeseung hums in satisfaction as his fingers ghost the edges of your dress. He watches your eyebrows furrow, but you don’t say anything. As always, you have blind trust in your stepbrother. That’s all the indication he needs to get up and push you down on his bed. Heeseung hovers over you, loving how you’re staring up at him with sparkling, wide eyes. He swoops down to capture your lips in a searing kiss.
Your heart is racing in your chest as Heeseung forces his tongue into your mouth. Despite the initial shock, you quickly melt into the kiss. He swallows your moans, pulling you closer as he deepens the messy kiss. You mewl into his mouth, carding your fingers through his hair with desire you had never realized you had for him.
Meanwhile, Mina can only watch as her boyfriend kisses you with a passion that he clearly never felt for her. It feels like her heart is ripping in half as Heeseung begins to undress you. Tears well up in her eyes when he groans at the sight of the lingerie adorning your body. Mina can see how hard he is from where she’s standing, and the desire in his eyes is very different from the way he looks at her.
“Can’t believe you got all pretty for some other boy.” Heeseung spits as he starts to undress. “Were planning on letting him fuck you?”
You shake your head and go to speak, but you can’t when Heeseung roughly pulls off your lingerie then his own underwear. His cock is thick and big, possibly the biggest you’ve ever seen. It’s twitching and leaking as he looks at you with his dark eyes.
“W-We shouldn’t be doing this.” You whine as Heeseung shoves your thighs to your stomach and licks a broad stripe up your wet pussy.
Your stepbrother groans at your sweet taste, thrusting his tongue into your dripping hole. He laps up the juices leaking out of your slit, circling his tongue on your clit for good measure. The noise you let out is downright pornographic and pure music to Heeseung’s ears.
“Seungie!” You keen as you spread your legs and tangle your hands in his messy hair. “I– Fuck!”
Heeseung pulls back with a wet slurp to spread your cunt open with his big hands. “God. You have the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen, angel. Just had to taste it.”
Each one of his words is like a dagger to Mina’s heart and confidence. Wet tears trickle down her face, but she doesn’t say anything as you pull on her boyfriend’s hair. Heeseung only moans and dives back into your slick cunt. He greedily laps up everything that drips out of you, sucking and kissing your clit.
“We shouldn’t be doing this, Hee.” You repeat through a needy mewl, making no attempt to stop him. In fact, you buck your pussy into his mouth as he sucks on your sensitive bud.
“Shh, angel.” Heeseung shushes as he flicks his tongue across your swollen bud. “Just relax and let me eat you out. Been wanting to do this for so long.”
Mina swallows thickly, the hurt slowly being replaced by something else. Her eyes grow bigger when she realizes which feeling is taking over. She shifts slightly, feeling a familiar wetness begin to pool in her panties. Mina feels sick that the sight of her boyfriend cheating on her can turn her on, and she thinks that she should leave right now and never return.
But she stays.
Mina licks her lips and continues to watch. Even she can’t help but think how hot you look, whimpering and writhing as Heeseung pushes your thighs apart so he can bury his face deeper in your pussy. He flicks his tongue, slowly descending until he’s lapping at your hole, slowly fucking the wet muscle in and out. Your eyes roll back as your stepbrother eats your pussy like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted.
The sounds coming from your pussy and the way Heeseung messily eats you out has Mina’s own cunt clenching with need. She can feel her underwear start to stick to her cunt as she watches her boyfriend lap up your arousal like a starved man. Mina bites her lip, feeling sick and twisted for being turned on by your pretty moans.
Heeseung suddenly pulls away, but not before he slaps your thigh playfully. He goes to lay on his back all while wearing a filthy smirk. “Sit on my face.”
You bite your lip as a hot flash of arousal pulses through your body. Both your and Mina’s cunts throb at the suggestion. Heeseung sees your hesitation, but doesn’t back down.
“C’mon, baby. Be a good little stepsister and ride my fucking face.” He growls out with dark eyes.
With your pussy dripping, you crawl over to him and kneel over his face. Mina watches with heated eyes as you slowly lower your cunt on her boyfriend’s face. The heat in her stomach grows when she hears Heeseung groan in satisfaction.
“That’s it. I want your pretty pussy suffocating me.”
With that, your stepbrother grabs your hips and pulls your cunt down onto his face with a groan. Mewling quietly, you rub your cunt all over his mouth. Every time he moans or grunts, it sends little vibrations through your pussy. The delicious feeling has you grinding down on his tongue as you chase that feeling. Heeseung eagerly fucks his wet muscle into your hot cunt, already addicted to your sweet taste.
Mina swallows thickly when he sees Heeseung thrusting into the air as he eats you out. His cock is leaking and throbbing with need. Fuck. How she’d like to go and lick all that up, to have him fuck her mouth as he fucks you with his tongue. Mina rubs her thighs to soothe the growing ache in her pussy as she watches you ride Heeseung’s face.
Your eyes roll back when your stepbrother slaps your ass. A loud squeal spills from your lips as Heeseung keeps fucking his tongue up into your cunt. He grabs your ass and kneads it roughly. With one last groan and flick of his tongue, he sits up and takes you with him. The effortless display of strength turns both women on, one containing her moan while the other cries out as she’s pressed back into the mattress.
“Such a sweet little cunt.” Heeseung moans as he buries his face back into your dripping cunt. “Shit, Y/N. You’re fucking soaked down here.”
“Heeseung!” You cry out as he pries your thighs further apart. Your stepbrother shakes his head to grind his tongue against your sensitive cunt.
“Fuck, you have the hottest little pussy.” Heeseung lifts his head with a groan, lips shiny with your arousal. “Missed eating some good pussy. It’s been so long.”
Mina feels pathetic that her cunt throbs at his degrading words. She bites her lip, hands trailing up her thigh and to her soaked underwear. It’s so filthy and humiliating, but the ache in her pussy is getting to be too much. She slowly rubs circles on her covered cunt as she keeps watching her boyfriend cheat on her.
“Fuck, Seungie.” You mewl desperately. “S-Shouldn’t like having your face buried in my cunt.”
Heeseung smirks into your wetness. He gently circles his tongue on your clit, kissing it tenderly before he gently starts to nip at it with his teeth. Mina shoves her panties aside when you moan out in pleasure. Now she’s furiously rubbing at her bare pussy, wanting to see you cum on her boyfriend’s face.
“But you do, baby. You like me fucking you with my tongue, and I fucking love eating this sweet little pussy.”
Your hips buck up at the words, grinding your cunt against his mouth as you moan for him. Juices drip out of you lewdly, leaking down to your ass and onto Heeseung’s sheets. Your head is swimming with pleasure, and you have to remember that this is all so very wrong.
“You like that?” Heeseung teases you, loving how you’ve turned into putty in his hands. “Answer me, Y/N. Do you like your stepbrother telling you how much he loves tasting your juicy cunt?”
Your back arches when Heeseung sucks your puffy bud into his mouth. “God—yes! Feels so fucking good, Hee! Love having your mouth on my pussy.”
Heeseung growls, the vibrations making your cunt throb as he sucks and licks your swollen clit. Eager to have you cum on his tongue, he slips two fingers into your fluttering hole. Mina follows in suit, unable to take her eyes off the erotic sight of you getting ate out and fingered. Fuck. This was better than any porn she had ever watched. Her hand is dripping with her own arousal, and she can’t even feel disgusted anymore that she’s so turned on by the entire situation.
“Mmmh, shit, Hee.” You whine as the tips of his fingers brush against the gummy spot inside you. “You’re gonna make me cum.”
“Do it, baby. Cream all over my tongue.” He purrs in delight. “Be a good girl and cum for me.”
Heeseung flattens his tongue on your clit while his fingers grind into the spongy spot in your cunt. Your back arches off the bed, orgasm whiting out your thoughts as you cum around his long fingers.
Mina has to cover her mouth as Heeseung moans along with you. By now she’s shoved her fingers into her sopping pussy, the squelching sound is drowned out from the sounds coming from your own pussy. The filthy sight is driving her wild, and she’s so delirious with arousal that she wishes Heeseung would just fuck you already.
“You’re amazing, angel.” Your stepbrother praises with his fingers still buried knuckle deep in your pussy as he softly strokes your velvety walls. “So soft and wet. It makes me want to shove my dick into your tight little hole.”
Heeseung slowly pulls his fingers out of you, and you can only watched with a lidded gaze as he moves his body between your thighs. His cock is twitching and leaking as he grabs the base. He smacks his cock down on your slippery pussy, dragging his drooling tip up and down your slit slowly. Mina has to press her hand into her mouth harder to stifle her filthy moans. The sight of her boyfriend pressing his drooling cockhead into your soaking pussy is so hot she might just cum all over her fingers.
“S-Seungie—fuck. We shouldn’t.” You whimper as he leans forward and braces his arms by your head.
You and Mina both know you don’t really mean your words. It’s clear that you want your stepbrother to split you open on his big cock. That becomes obvious when you don’t try to stop him as he shoves his cock into your pussy until he bottoms out completely, balls pressing against your ass. Shuddering with pleasure, you scratch your nails up his arms as you sink into the bed.
“Pretty pussy was meant to take my cock.” Heeseung growls, already drunk on the feeling of your cunt wrapped around his dick. “Fuck. I know it’s wrong, baby, but I just couldn’t help myself. Your hot little cunt was just begging for my dick. Doesn’t it feel all nice and full having your pussy stuffed with your stepbrother’s big cock?"
Mina starts fucking herself harder when you nod desperately. Your hands go to tangle in his hair as you grind your hips up to meet his thrusts. “Yes! Fuck! Love my stepbrother’s cock stretching me open! Feels so fucking good, Hee!”
Mina knows better than anyone how good you must feel. Although, she imagines you feel must better than she ever did because from the way Heeseung’s fucking you, she can tell he’s doing it with much more enthusiasm and passion. Even his moans are more guttural and full of more pleasure than she’d ever heard. They’re deep as he pulls out until just his tip is spearing you open. Then, he pushes forward, thrusting his cock deep into your fluttering walls.
“That’s it. Tell me how good it feels.” Heeseung leans down, lips brushing against yours. “Don’t be shy, angel. Let me know how much you like this cock fucking you.”
You gasp wantonly and pull him down further to press your lips together. He groans and licks into your mouth easily, tongue slipping past your lips as his cock thrusts deep into your hot, wet cunt. Your hips buck up to meet his, loving how his dick rams into your sweet spot over and over until your sight is painted with pretty little stars.
“Fucking love it, Hee.” You moan between sloppy kisses. “God—I love your cock!”
The coil in Mina’s stomach is close to snapping. By now, her juices are dripping down to her wrist. Luckily, the lewd squelching and sound of skin slapping together drown out any noise she’s making. Heeseung is fucking you so hard and good that she can smell the musky scent of sex from where she’s standing. The erotic aroma turns her on even more, pussy clamping down on her fingers in desperate need of release.
“Tight little pussy feels so good.” Heeseung moans out between the quick pecks he’s giving you. “God, I love you, Y/N. So fucking much.”
Your heart races as Mina’s breaks all over again. It hurts, but somehow that just turns her on even more. She keeps fingering herself as tears pool in her eyes.
With a low moan, your pussy clamps down on Heeseung’s dick tightly as you go to eagerly kiss him. A soft I love you, too goes unnoticed by Mina, but not by your stepbrother. He groans into your mouth, cock throbbing inside you.
“Mmmh.” Heeseung hums against your lips before he trails wet kisses down your neck. “I love my gorgeous girl. That’s why this feels so good. Even your tight little pussy knows how much I love you.”
His gorgeous girl? Mina thinks deliriously, orgasm dangerously close. It’s something he never referred to her as.
You cry out loudly when Heeseung bites your neck and sucks the skin into his mouth. His hips rock against yours, balls smacking against your ass as his pelvis grinds down on your swollen clit.
“Seungie!” You whine in ecstasy. “I’m getting close.”
Your stepbrother doesn’t let up. In fact, his thrusts seem to get faster and rougher. His cock pistons in and out of your cunt, creating sloppy wet sounds as you get even wetter. His eyes are dark as he pulls back to look at you, all pretty squirming and trembling on his cock.
“Cum for me, baby. Cover my cock with your sweet cream so I can fill you up.” Heeseung pants. “Cum on my cock, angel.”
His teeth sink into your neck again, and it pushes you over the edge. Your hot cunt throbs as you squeeze down on his cock. Somehow your pussy only gets tighter and tighter as you get fucked through your orgasm. You tighten your legs around his waist until he can barely pull out, rutting his cock in short shallow thrusts as your climax starts to taper off.
“So fucking tight.” Heeseung hisses by your ear. “Shit, baby. Get ready. I’m about to creampie your cute little pussy. Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
With a strangled grunt, he buries his cock to the hilt and shoots his load deep inside your fluttering walls while your pussy softly milks him for every drop of his hot cum. Mina reaches her own climax when she sees her boyfriend cumming inside you. She has to stifle her moans as she trembles and shakes outside the room that’s filled with the smell and sounds of hot sex.
“You’re taking it so well, angel.” Heeseung kisses your jaw tenderly as his fat tip spurts rope after rope of his thick cum into your clenching heat. “Milking my cock like I knew you would.”
He grinds his hips down, cock pulsing as he finishes stuffing you full of his hot, sticky load. Your stepbrother fucks his cum inside a bit more before reluctantly pulling out. Heeseung’s cock throbs as he watches his seed drip from your messy pussy.
He licks his lips, heated gaze never leaving your body. “Let’s do it again.”
You don’t try to protest as your manhandles into a different position. Mina is still coming down from her high when she realizes her boyfriend is still hard and about to fuck you again. She knows she shouldn’t feel excited or aroused by the fact, but she does. Especially when your face is shoved into one of Heeseung’s pillows just before his big cock rails back into your needy pussy.
Heeseung starts fucking you so hard his headboard slams into the wall repeatedly. The harsh sound pairs well with the plop plop plop sound coming from your cunt.
“God, Y/N. You’re so fucking good for me.” Heeseung groans when you clench down on him.
You moan loudly, bouncing yourself back on his cock. “Fu-Fuck, Seungie. This is wrong. We s-shouldn’t be doing this.”
“I know.” Your stepbrother smacks your ass, not sounding the least bit remorseful. “It’s so dirty baby, but I couldn’t help myself. Had to get my dick wet using your pretty little pussy.”
“Mmmh!” You whine out mindlessly, face turned to the side with your ass raised in the air for Heeseung to fuck deeper into your wet hole. “Feels so fucking good!”
“Yeah, it does.” Heeseung’s laugh sounds almost mean as he speeds up his thrusts to fuck his cock harder into your sopping cunt. “Your cute little pussy is the best I’ve ever had.”
His words shouldn’t please you as much as they do, but those lewd words turn you on so much that you can’t stop your cunt from tightening around him as he keeps spearing into you like an animal in heat. They also shouldn’t turn on Heeseung’s girlfriend but that’s exactly what they do. She isn’t angry, only extremely aroused as your ass bounces back on your stepbrother’s pelvis.
“Fuck!” Heeseung groans, fucking his cock right into your g-spot. “You’re so fucking hot, angel.”
You are. So hot that Mina finds herself wishing she could eat Heeseung’s cum out of your pretty cunt. She just knows you taste good, and mixed with her boyfriend she’s sure you must taste even better.
“Seungie, please!” You cry out, dizzy with arousal.
“Shit.” He growls, slipping a hand underneath your hips to rub fast circles on your clit. “Gonna make you cream on my cock again.”
“Heeseung!” You squeal as he picks up his pace, ramming into your squelching pussy as he rubs soft circles into your swollen clit.
Your stepbrother shoves his cock deep into your cunt and grinds, making you squirm and whine as his dick rubs against the spongy spot in your pussy. Your hands twist in the sheets. He flicks and pinches your puffy clit. God, do you look good, and so does Heeseung. Mina is groping one of her tits while the other hand goes to play with her pussy again. Briefly, she thinks she wouldn’t mind having a video of you two fucking so she can watch it over and over again.
“Hee, I’m gonna cum.” You moan against the pillow.
“Do it, baby.” He encourages you, free hand coming down to slap your ass hard. “Cum all over my cock. Want to feel your hot cunt squeeze me.”
It’s not long before your orgasm hits. You’re screaming into your pillow as your cream coats Heeseung’s big cock. Your pussy clamps rhythmically around his dick. Mina can’t see you, but with the way your toes are curling she can tell your eyes are rolling to the back of your head in pure ecstasy.
“Oh, baby. You feel so fucking good.” Heeseung praises you. His hands move to slap your ass again, making you squeal and tighten again. “Fucking work your little pussy on my cock. Fuck. Need to fill you up again.”
“Want you to stuff me full.” You whine back at him, pussy fluttering at the thought of Heeseung’s cum filling your cunt again.
“Yeah?” Your stepbrother laughs, sounding way too delighted. “Want me to creampie your hot little cunt again?”
“Please!” You whine as Heeseung’s fingers slide over your hip to start working soft circles into your clit again. You writhe back on him, feeling yourself get even wetter at the filthy thought of him shooting his hot load inside you.
“Cum inside me, Hee.” You pant, mewling when his fingers rub your clit even faster. “Want it so bad. Want to feel it.”
“Oh, fuck.” Heeseung groans, hips snapping hard against your ass when he feels how tight you’ve gotten. “You ready, baby? Fucking take it. Take your stepbrother’s cum in your needy little cunt.”
You moan loudly when you feel his hot cum filling your pussy, stuffing you so full it drips out around his cock. Heeseung ruts his spent cock into your sloppy pussy as he pinches your clit, watching as your back arches as a fourth orgasm sweeps through you. You lazily fuck your cunt back into him, loving the feeling of his cum dripping out of you and coating your thighs.
Heeseung pulls out of your warm cunt with a low groan. He’s quick to pull you against his chest and lays you down with him. His face is buried in your hair, eyes closed in bliss as you both try to catch your breaths. You feel his smile in your hair as he cuddles you and murmurs sweet praises against your temple.
Through your drooping eyes, you catch sight of Mina. Her eyes widen when you two make eye contact. You can’t hide your smirk when you see that she was masturbating to the sight of Heeseung fucking you raw. Instead of saying anything, you give her a seductive wink. Mina clenches around her fingers because the wink is full of understanding and promises.
It’s clear that Heeseung was never hers, but maybe you wouldn’t mind sharing.
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beeseverywhen · 1 year
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Not having a car in your 20s really is a humbling experience. That post where the guys like 'I have to ask my mum to go to walmart' I feel that.
I'm not American so I do have the benefit of town living and a walkable community. I feel very lucky to have been able to live right in the heart of my hometown again (lived on the main street above a shop for a while as a kid but mostly lived in residential areas. As an adult I'm lucky enough to live on a road coming off the main street (can no longer live in places with stairs so above a shop is no longer an option) HOWEVER.
my town is gentrified as fuck and all the shops are stupid. And even if I put up with the cost and buy the things I can in local shops, I can only carry a very limited weight of shopping, but am very stupid and overestimate my ability/ realise but still get carried away and buy too much as I have no impulse control every time. So I'm left having to beg lifts/tag along with pretty much anyone that'll have me lol.
Pour one out for me, trying to run a household and not even having parents I can ask for lifts. I'm begging lifts off aunties, grandparents, friends, fucking COUSINS. Most humbling experience ever and without a car you can't even repay them with easy errands. Watch me repay the favour with CHILDCARE, with TECH SUPPORT, with financial advice. Those are all the worst favors. I don't mind doing them but BY GOD would I prefer to be able to occasionally just pick them up something from the shop. Drop them at the train station. Pick up a parcel.
#i do have parents. they just aren't the kind of parents you can ask to do things lol#plus my dad left the country when i was a teenager so he's not here to ask even if i thought he might do it#and my mum. well she's my mum. once made the mistake of asking her to pick me up from the hospital when I'd been taken there by ambulance#and had been admitted for a few days so they wouldn't discharge me without someone collecting me#(i was also like 17 lol so tho i lived alone we were on rocky territory as to if they'd LET anyone that wasnt a parent collect me)#and she was like. 'i do have a life you know! this is very inconvenient.'#eventually she did collect me so i was discharged eventually (only like 8 hours after they wanted to discharge me lol) but#she complained the whole time lol and parked like 20 minutes away despite me being in hospital cause my leg was fucked#(who does that? bring the car round for fucks sake) so since then she's been at the bottom of my list of ppl to ask favors from and if i do#bother theres a 90% chance she'll say no she doesnt want to#if she does agree she will complain about it the whole time. be as awkward as possible and remind ppl how helpful she was for the next year#therefore the choice is: buy things locally at a markup. catch the bus and inevitability injure myself by buying too much. online shopping#online works pretty well for a lot of heavy stuff but there's a big markup. plus most of the time i have to use amazon my beloathed#so i usually end up writing lists of stuff for certain (cheaper) shops and then either jumping on the opportunity when someones going there#or else letting the list pile up and asking for a favour when i can't wait any longer.#(my worst trait is whenever someone has a problem being like.i know exactly what you need.you know where you can buy it? I'll come!)#its largely a self inflicted inconvenience cause I'm too cheap to just buy things at a markup I'd rather buy in bulk at out of town shops
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