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youdontloveme-yet · 1 year

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[It is the law] or a GMMTV 2023 line up's worst commentary. (part1)

Hello, my dudes and cryptids. Don't lie I know some of y'all are cryptids. Anyway, I said I will make the worst commentary for the new GMMTV line up, and so I am delivering. If somebody gets offended by something I've said - fuck you. That is all.

We all know what the gmmtv2023 line up is and apparently "diversity" in their dictionary is disability or weird conditions. So let's get to it.

Enigma

Starring: Prim Chanikan, Win Metawin, Piploy Kanyarat; Director: O Patha Thongpan; Genre: Horror, Suspense;

Interestingly enough the trailer starts with a Nietzsche quote, which sets the bar somewhere high, but at the same time, not the entirety of that quote is included, which I find kind of weird, since it is a horror series. What I mean with that? Well, the whole quote is as follows:

“Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”

– Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil

I cannot comprehend why this was left out, when we are obviously going to be dealing with demons (monsters). Whatever, I am nitpicking I guess.

Typical school setting, because yes, that is exactly where all the occult shit always happens. Nothing new here. I’m guessing there is dimensional jumping, if I’m judging by the trailer. A person with a snap off blade that looks like it can give you some tetanus, is seen, which if I may add is not very creative. Can we finally have people with actual knives for once? Or swords. Swords are good. Anyway, is that supposed to be a girl holding the knife? Because in the shot with the knife it is definitely a man holding it. Some cool shots of occult shit - nice touch. Oh and our FL’s picture being cut into. Some more occult shots, because why the fuck not? There’s always something wrong with the school. We been knew. Students going crazy, yada-yada. The depiction of schools in Thailand is always horrific. The stress, the pressure, I can see why the favourite setting for horror is the schools. There always has to be one person to drown, it is the law. Can you imagine this occult shit happening every year and your parents not moving you to another school? Parents in this show will not be included as actual characters, it is against the law. They do not exist, these students are entirely on their own, it is the law. The new teacher is a socio, how surprising. (probably doesn’t shower as well). I love black magic, but too many western/christian ideas into this shit. Crosses, really? Thailand is a Buddhist country, no? Who the fuck holds a person’s face like that? It seems it is the socio teacher… oh, well, let’s hope he washed his hands. Suddenly has tattoos and jiggly things around his neck - kitsch. And we continue with the western symbolism. Ah, yes, putting that cape on makes you look so much cooler in front of the faiting student. Oh, my favourite - closing doors with the snap of the fingers. I’m guessing it is supposed to look seductive or whatever… it doesn’t. Ah, sorry, he can do more than just closing doors apparently. Who knew?

Well, it tries to look promising. But I am very much on the fence if it could actually deliver. Love me suspenseful horror, but I don’t see how GMMTV can execute this. Also, I cannot believe how many roles Prim has lined up!! I will indeed be watching for her only.

Conclusion: will definitely try watching it, but emphasising on the “try” part.

A Boss And A Babe

Starring: Book Kasidet, Force Jiratchapong (and other gmmtv people); Director: New Siwaj Sawatmaneekul Genre: Romance

It’s those dudes, whose names I keep forgetting every time.

At first I was “ah! A gaming series!”, but nope, not really anyway. I want his setup, ngl. But I would beat the shit out of him with that smugness. Annoying. Ah, no, they used the nickname of one of my favourite pro players, oh gods. The team is introduced. None of these people look like they can play games. Unrealistic. Where are the bags under their eyes or the dark circles? You say you play for 30hrs a day, which does not exist in the first place, yet you look as if you got out of a cryo chamber or whatever. Next thing you know, the 30hrs guy has an office job. Downgrade, my dude, very big downgrade. He’s the boy for everything in that office, as per the law. Yeah, nobody can convince me this guy has that amount of energy. The boss is grumpy, and the boy for everything is stupid, as is the law. What are we gonna do if there is no awkward bathroom scene? Most romantic thing is to ask your crush to dinner, while he’s taking a shit. The boss has no boundaries whatsoever. Oh, yes, the courting rituals are very intricate, borderlining with psychopathy. Typical trope, nothing to see here. Yes, ask your friends about love. The thing you are too much of an infant to understand. Stupid advice as is the law. He has an ASMR channel ?? Why the fuck are you doing an office job, if you are a pro player and have an ASMR channel? That makes you more money than that shitty office job, brother. This is not a real gamer. This Force guy is kind of attractive in a suit. I guess they have sex, idk. Wait. “Don’t act like main character in a novel who confesses his love when the other is asleep.” Who comes up with these lines. It is not even cheesy, just bland and cringe. Oh, he says it, okay. That is forgiven. Boss guy is done. And so am I.

Oh, another thing. Whoever comes up with these titles, I hope your socks are wet. Also, have in mind this is a New series, meaning that there’s the possibility this series will be progressing extremely slow.

Conclusion: looks kind of boring. All over the place plot. Overused trope of stupid office romance. Might take a look, but I doubt it.

Find Yourself

Starring: (a majority of people you don’t know) Nonkul Chanon, Aff Taksaorn, Earth Pirapat and other gmmtv lakorn people; Director: Petch Varayu Ruksku Genre: Business, Romance, Drama (it’s a lakorn)

Have these people been courting since the dark ages or what? I do not understand the constant nagging about having a younger partner, when you are female. Never will and never will try to understand. ‘Tis bullshit. Homeboy is very awkward, so I like him. So, she’s almost 40 and single? What about it? Stupid archaic tropes. Okay, homeboy has balls now, being all touchy-touchy. Are you looking for a sugar mommy, my son? Cute montage of them doing couple shit - 7/10 I’ve seen better. Ah, yes, the drunk first time. Classic. Girl, you are almost 40, can you not act like a 15 year old who just lost her virginity? Too much screaming. And ofc there is the accusatory “what did you do to me?” idk, babe, maybe you both initiated in sinful acts. This is per the law. Now she feels like a whore or some shit. Apparently sleeping with someone is the worst thing you can do. The mother is creepy, as is the law. And we continue with my least favourite thing - meddling in other people’s affairs. Ma’am your daughter is 40, why are you sending her brother to figure out who she’s dating. Stupid trope. Never let people come out with their partners on their own, it is against the law. Ah, yes, some dude taking a video of girls dancing or whatever. Classic. Now he has an accomplice in this bullshit. This girl is cute, but they are all psychos. Yes, everyone is dating, but there has to be that one guy who says it can’t be true. And the girl who apparently has ownership of the guy, even tho he really is not aware of that, bless his soul. Stupid one-liners. Again with the age garbage. Now, there’s an old man, idk what his deal is, but if I have to guess - to make drama. So, she likes him, but the age thing is a thing, how boring. What the fuck is a 3-month relationship trial, this is not a game or some astrological site behind a pay wall, girl. Another cute montage. Oh, they kiss… finally, I guess? Sign. What sign do you even need? You like him, he likes you, are you batshit insane or something?

Conclusion: it’s a lakorn. Looks cute, has an age gap - will watch.

Double Savage

Starring: Ohm Pawat, Perth Tanapon, Film Rachanun; Director: ??? Genre: Action

Starts off gritty and looks violent, I approve. Oh, not a terrible fighting scene, this is new. From the get-go we have the good and the bad. Who is who, we are yet to see. Aren’t these people like brothers or some shit, why so mad? Foei with a gun to a dude’s head, pretty sure I’ve watched this before. Good fight tho, enjoyed it. I can tell you from here that Foei’s character jerks off to men fighting. Ah, yes, the stare down. Good old stare down. Woah, jail? This doesn’t sound like giving him an option, jerkface. More like a threat. Disowning your children the moment the fuck up? Classic parents. This is very allowed per the law. Ohm and his staring through your soul, peak acting. Oh, no, he thinks he is irredeemable. I mean, unless you’ve killed someone I don’t see how you’re such a big bad criminal, my son. Why the fuck is Perth’s character mad? His brother got kicked out, not him. Calm your balls, boy, the world hasn’t stopped spinning. They keep calling him a criminal. Idk what this is about, but it sounds greatly exaggerated. Ofc there is a girl, it is by the law to like your brother’s girl. A fighting montage. This is right up my alley - more fighting, less talking, like in the stone age. Oh, no, the popo are involved - the horror. All of this for a girl. I’ll act surprised - GASP, IT IS ABOUT THE GIRL. Yeah, I can bet you all that he hasn’t done something so criminal. Foei and his psycho characters. Good touch. Always appreciated. I’d shoot him tho. Won’t even wait for his clown act before I pull the trigger. “Between blood brothers” is the “blood” that needed? Yeah, we kind of got the idea that they’re biological brothers. These people talk too much and shoot too little. You might as well blow both your brains out, that’d be fun.

Conclusion: will watch, let’s hope there is less talking in the actual series and more fighting and stare downs.

Hidden Agenda

Starring: Dunk Natachai, Joong Archen, Aou Thanaboon; Director: Tee Bundit Sintanaparadee Genre: Romance

Alpha rule of trailers: start with a cliche quote about love. Idk if it is the translation or the actual quote, but it sounds so weird. Ah, Louis! My child is in whatever the fuck this series will be. Wait, didn’t he say the same thing in Star In My Mind? University setting I’m guessing. Yes, we are definitely not sick and tired of the university thing. I mean, it could’ve been high school, which is much worse, but still. He’s stupid. This is literally the plot of half of the shows out there. The boy who wants a relationship, the popular girl that he will never have and the guy who will creepily pursue him. I haven’t finished the trailer yet. Show her you’re so manly bro, even if you look like a wet noodle. Seeking advice from HER ex? What have y’all been smoking, because that’s some otherwordly shit right there. His name is JOKE, hahahahah. I’m gonna watch it just to make fun of his name I swear. Ofc, he’s a jerk, it is the law. Wait, so it’s Zo and Joke… sounds like the worst possible joke. Can you imagine the ship name tho. I’m losing it here. Personal space who? He asks you to help him and you ask him to spend the night with you ?? If somebody told me that I’d get a restraining order. Taking notes, as if that will help you when the guy next to you will definitely do you before you do her. There has to be a study date, it is against the law to not have one. The staring. There was only one bed. Ah, yes, the stranger into whose home you went, now snuggles with you, this is by the law. Cute gays want kids. I hope you can adopt like 5, my dudes. Weird one liners, more intense staring. Then we have people not minding their business as is by law. Denial. Pushing him to be uncomfortable. Because that is exactly how you get in a relationship with someone. Okay, he’s not talking about the girl. Thought so, but I had to get sure. Smol guy gets annoyed, I am pretty sure this is Star In My Mind. Weird debate. So, I guess he got with the girl, who would’ve guessed. Joke is jealous. Girl needs help for who-knows what bullshit. But ofc, as is by the law, she would go to her ex, not her current partner, because that makes so much sense. And here somebody is gonna say “but, Ra, they have a bond!” and all I will hear is the voices in my head, not yours tho. Oh, no the secret. Could it be that he’s gay and people are once again too nosy? Oh, no, he lied. Local angry noodle throws paper at man who lied to him. You cannot trust anyone, bro, don’t try it. This is the drama world, you can’t trust even your mother. Ah, yes, cry on the shoulder of the next man that will lie to you. Smart. By the law, you have to be possessive of the person who probably wants you dead. Some angry grown ups. Idk what their deal is, but they might as well kiss with all that stupid tension. How many people wanna have this Zo guy ?? Confrontation done wrong. People giving weird looks as we read their names. Now you ask him not to hit on the girl. The hypocrisy is crisp. So, all is forgiven? The magical forgiveness is here by the law, okay? You won’t get it. They be smoochin’.

Conclusion: 50/50. Might try it only because it is the director of Lovely Writer. But I am pretty convinced this is at least 90% what happened in Star In My Mind.

23.5

Starring: Milk Pansa, Love Pattranite, Gemini Norawit; Director: Fon Kanittha Kwunyoo

Congratulations, my dudes, we made it! I don’t know who made a human sacrifice for this, but your jail time is not in vain. Anonymous chatting is my go-to romance bullshit. It never disappoints really. Cute conversation, some weird shit about the Earth and Sun, which sounds relatable and is probably some profound metaphor, but I am not here for that. Ah yes, walking past the person you are actively flirting with, can be a coincidence only in a drama, otherwise is pretty much stalking. Gotta love Milk’s backpack. The hat is stupid tho. Don’t be creepy, my girl. Ah, yes, seduction through knowledge. Gotta add some sadness to it, such is the law. Babygirl, we are all nobodies, chill. She’s not the center of the universe, she is just extroverted as fuck, while you probably stutter when speaking. Pretty sure you’re the only one spinning around her, but okay. More nerdy talk, because that is indeed hot as hell. No creepy staring, babygirl, you are better than this. Ah, yes, the “i must hide my feelings trope, cuz that person is out of my league” grow a pair, girlie. Ofc they all think it is a guy, how very heterosexual of them. Some creeping around. I’m guessing this is the rival or whatever. Or not, which is great. Let’s mope around instead of hyping ourselves up and actually talk to her. Because that always works so well. What do you mean she has the guts?? Are y’all insane? She’s literally hiding. Drama logic, as is the law, make no sense. Supportive friends I approve of, tho. So you are forgiven for being stupid. Love’s character asking the real questions. I mean, it could be some hobo, but she got the right spirit. Some cute moments in the gym are absolutely mandatory. More looking. Oh, there are gays here? This is some elementary school type of behaviour. What’s next? Pulling his hair and biting him in front of the class? And he continues throwing things at him. Take him home, but for the love of anything holy stop throwing stuff at him. Oh, no, she figured it out! Be distressed for nothing. Especially when she’s literally pining you at the book shelf. Gay panic. THEY CUTE AS SHIT BRO. I want what they have. Face rubs are cool. We continue with the profound astronomy metaphors I just can’t deal with right now. Overall good shit.

Conclusion: 100% watch, no need to even elaborate.

Phro Thoe Khue Rak Raek

Starring: Dew Jirawat, Prim Chanikan, Neo Trai; Genre: Romance

A lot of Prim and Dew this year. Delightful. For me, idk about you people.

I don’t like her with that ginger hair, makes her look older, not my jam. I can and I will complain about this when her series air. It’s a first love story. Not that anyone is surprised or anything. Girl, that’s some bomb-ass outfit and I need it. Guess half of the show will be in the past… or the majority. Ladies and gentleman, we are back at square one - grumpy guy and the girl who fell for him. I hope she’s not stupid. Height difference oh my. She’s literally like his child. How fucking tall is this guy?? Like 180? He makes you smile, yet he never fucking smiles at you. That’s just sad. I mean, you literally had him take space in your head. The memories of all the times he just straight up ignored your existence? Damn, girl, you thirsty. Jealousy, my beloved. Why is it always Neo tho? He’s like the go-to guy when you need jealousy. Now the tall motherfucker reacts. The confusion is mutual. He left. The drama. The irony. The cliche. Yes, pretending you’re not staring at him works every time. Hiding behind a notebook in a very non-suspicious way. It is the law, you won’t get it. Girl, if you look at me like that with that slow head turn, I can and I will turn into a human puddle. Adorable. I want to punch him in the face. Ruin it a bit, y’know. She smiles and he’s stoic as fuck. I’m punching you brother, I swear. Pretty doe eyes. Woah, he finally smiled, can you imagine. I still want to punch him tho.

Conclusion: will watch, but will be angry about it. Mostly because he never smiles at her.

Cooking Crush

Starring: Off Jumpol, Gun Atthaphan, Mark Pakin, Neo Trai; Genre: Food, Romance;

Okay, the first thing I said when this started was “another cooking flop”, because let’s be real here, they are bad at making cooking series. And that is that.

Anyway, some cool ass shots of food being prepared, because that’s how you know it is about cooking. Per law, it is mandatory that he is nothing less but a TOP CHEF. Hands. Gourme. Pretty boy. This guy is a fucking disaster. How in all hell is he a top chef? Yes, because grabbing the extinguisher is the hardest thing one could possibly imagine. Maybe if one of these absolute idiots removed the hat from his head and dropped it in the sink all of this could’ve been much easier. It is the idiot trio, maybe a disaster trio? Something along the lines, I am not good with words, shut up. A cooking competition? Wasn’t he like a TOP CHEF? Misleading intro. 10 million baht sounds cool and all, but it really is like 270k euro or something along the line. Oh, so the old dude is the top chef. The intro continues to be confusing. What does simple food even have to mean? Not putting black pepper and honey in one or what? Don’t mind me, I am everything but a food person. That is a necessity, idc about food beyond that. Off just appears out of nowhere. Who the fuck are you and why are you leaning on him like that? Fucking creep.Do they even know each other? This is so confusing. “From dog food to doc food” is legit the worst pun I have ever seen. This boy ain’t cheap, damn. Straight away with the fee, I feel you bro, that’s the way to go. You be calling him a fool, but you’re both fools. I can smell it from a mile away. He cannot hold a fucking knife. I would nope out of there is somebody held a knife like that. Neo’s character being the relatable one again. Fi-fi ??? No, no, don’t learn his name please, call him Fi-fi, it is most entertaining. My son, you are anything but fire with that ugly ass shirt. Please sit down. Love me some self proclaimed playboys. And a monster? I don’t think that you scared him, more like turned him on, because it is drama logic and these types of weird outbursts usually mean that for whatever reason. Yes, licking food off of the hand of the person you like is mandatory, you know it’s the law. Woah, bro, no need to make it gay. I too would be shocked. This is unhygienic. I’d freak out and punch him, that’s disgusting. Only 16?? I have friends who used to sleep in the university. Weak shit. Is he learning to cook for a girl? Weak shit x2. Another top chef, it’s like they’re selling them at the market with the fish. “For the price of one fish, you get a top chef for free!” or some shit like that. Top chef #2 wants some twink for dinner that’s for sure. Pure unfiltered jealousy as it is meant by the law. How the fuck did you deceive him? He didn’t learn how to cook or what? That would be only his fault really. Ah, the classic Off stare, has to be one of my favourite stupid faces. What funny business, my man? Oh yeah, give it up for spilling secrets, because this is purely platonic. Back hugs my most beloved. That yellow sweater is gorgeous and I want it. Did he just punch top chef #2? So, Neo and Mark are a thing now? I would never understand people carrying others bride style while unconscious. I am pretty sure that arm behind his neck has to fall off if he ain’t awake. But then again, by the law, this is a mandatory scene. Yeah, he does look heavy to carry around. But pulling him up like this may as well break his spine, this is stupid. Please, don’t fucking do this, guys. As usual, we have a dead parent, because it cannot be a good drama if we don’t have a tragedy along the line. The gay chase! Hugging and crying. Weird seductive noodle eating, as is by law. Do you like the food or him? I think you be lying about his food. Yeah, we’re not talking about food, damn. Awkward hand holding is my jam. And some weirdly animated stuff just floating around.

Conclusion: looks weird, 50/50 on this.

Wednesday Club

Starring: a bunch of people y’all know. Director: ??? Genre: Romance (?)

I don’t think anyone quite understands what this show is about. Star cast tho. Might flop.

What is this weak ass russian roulette? Choosing between friendship and justice sounds as dumb as it gets really. There’s like 10 of them, yet they chose to be crammed up in the smallest of spaces. Peak stupid. Mandatory squad shot. Can’t know who is in the squad without that shot. It is the law. These skinny motherfuckers be running nakes. Why is the guy next to Ohm so fucking pale ?? Somebody has to take the video I guess and girls absolutely love watching men’s ding-dong swing left and right while they run. It is definitely not the funniest shit. They definitely did not hit each others ding-dong while pushing each other, this is purely heterosexual. The popo is here! Always ruining the fun, huh. So you’re trying to tell me these fuckers meet after 2 of them run nakes on a fucking roof. Shit on the popo, as you should. Party time. Fancy bar. The middle children club. Can Jane be less pretty or do I have to constantly suffer? Oh, no, let’s make it dramatic that we are middle children. The outcasts. Poor rich kids. People like you? Brother, you ain’t a minority or whatever. This guy is a theatre kid. You guys need rules for friendship? My confusion grows. Is she taking a blood bath? This boy is like he has never seen money in his life. Greedy motherfucker. Slave? Ew. Not the sister, bro. You be breaking the bro code, bro. How dare you? Actual backstabbing? This trailers is confusing. Is this guy a freak or something? That looks like a cut scar, so maybe he’s into that shit and that’s why he doesn’t want to say. No romantic shit, says who? Yeah, because you can actually stop that shit from happening. Foolish. I am not understanding the russian roulette reference of this show. And they all got into a fucking fight I guess. Is the gun loaded this time? It better be or I am suing.

Conclusion: lots of pretty faces, huge confusion on my part. Will watch tho, I’m curious.

Last Twilight

Starring: Sea Tawinan, Jimmy Jitaraphol, Namtan Tipnaree; Director: Aof Noppharnach Chaiwimol Genre: Romance

The other two dudes, whose names I cannot remember. Nothing personal, you guys, I know you love to get offended at such things.

Ooh, bad boy mechanic vibe. Nope, nvm, I saw those atrocious jeans. I take my words back. More like wet towel boy. So, you can buy cigarettes, but you cannot pay your debts. Your maths suck I’m sure. Namtan pretty. Some poll going on. Idk how he can play poll when he has no money, but okay. It feels like she’s trying to set him up to be gigolo and I absolutely love that. She’s not unfortunately. Yep, wet towel boy. Fancy house. This is the mother I see in every show now. She plays all the good ones tho, so may she proceed to do so. This guy be going blind, damn. Sorry for your loss, my dude. Or whatever the fuck you say for shit like that. Why is he in a wheelchair? I thought he was only sight impaired. He makes the job sound like the worst in the world. Some self loathing going on around I see. Another wet towel boy. This is the wet towel boys series. Ahahah, straightforward NO. He looks so stupid. He just basically told him he’s a buffoon, didn’t he? “Can you read?” I am dying here. Yes, make fun of the man who will take care of you, that just never ends bad. I hope we get to know what the accident was. Very grumpy. Ah, we have the grumpy + stupid trope again. It is by the law that you make jokes about the disability of your employer. My dude still wants a pity party, who is he trying to lie to? Continue to be grumpy, doesn’t want help, while actually hiring a guy to help him. Logic at its finest. Why the fuck are you smoking in a non-smoker’s house bro ?? Go outside, these people rich, they have big yards and all. This is just poor manners. He can definitely walk by himself. If walking is defined as being on all fours. The gay shaving. This guy has balls, gotta admit. But with that smoking, I doubt he wants you to be too close. I want someone to explain to me what in the burning hell is a water curtain supposed to be? Weird gay mating ritual. Some flirting. They just made it sound like he’s dying, not going blind. “You have only 180 days. Make them count!” Or some other generic anime line. Despair. Depression. Namtan being a queen teaching the stupid gay what to do. Dramatic lying on the bed ying-yang style. Pining. The mating rituals are sophisticated and difficult, okay? Beach shots are kind of mandatory, it is the law. This guy has superpowers, but I can bet you that he would never guess what a person is online. So far with your powers, huh? Some more awkward flirting, but with face touches this time. We are progressing quite nicely. No smoochin’ here I guess, just some shoulder lean. Montage time. Some jealousy I see. Drama time. I mean, he is kind of your boss and all. Pretty shots all over the place, damn. Ah, yes, the smoochin’ has arrived. Beautiful shot tho. This trailer had more beautiful shots than an actual plot so idk.

Conclusion: might check it out, might not. Depends on my mentality at the time.

Part 2 with the other 10 shows will be tomorrow at some point, idk. Let me repeat myself, if somebody feels offended or does not agree, you can fuck yourself, this was made purely for my enjoyment.

#ra rants #gmmtv 2023 #enigma #a boss and a babe #find yourself #double savage #hidden agenda #23.5 #Phro Thoe Khue Rak Raek #wednesday club #last twilight #i will not tag a single actor #this is awful #to tag #so no thanks

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