#so im trying to knock it out in one go
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i have 2 ocs who i set up as “they have to be really pretty” but i also have to make them redrawable and the line is thin
#hi im on oc thoughts now#i took a nap and didnt feel better so im just thinking abt smth else#anyways ive been TRYING to find pretty wc charaacters and ocs but pretty is used pretty frequently in other definitions so that's hell#idk how to like. i need them to be as pretty as possible or my brain wont be satisfied and i cant afford to redo designs too much#so im trying to knock it out in one go#which is HARD#pthbbt#sketch speaks#comic: facets - four stones
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Imma be honest with you chief this week has not been fun. At all
#oh boy i had a terrible three days time to go tell my tumblr followers about it!#ah no but jokes aside y'all.#i started my job on monday and i actually like it so far!#i haven't done any actual work or anything quite yet cause its all onboarding at the moment#but so far so good! all my colleges are lovely#so you might ask why is this one of the worst weeks of my life? two words#FOOD. POISONING.#this shit is straight up EVIL#im doing better today thank god but yesterday??? omfg#“look im being uber dramatic here but when am i not to be fair”#But seriously#ill try not to go into too much detail but. 10 hrs. yeah.#my throat feels like someone has shoved a metal ball down it#i havent eaten anything today#and I'm missing two days of training over this 😭#this is so embarrassing first week on the job and boom food poisoning knocks me out for two of them#im gonna be the food poisoning guy 😭#i hope y'all are having a better time than i am
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can someone please come over and braid my hair and talk about fnaf like im 9 again thanks. can someone please come over and pretend like its all ok thanks.
#desire mona#not to vent in tags but i need to be so real#i am probably one of the most lonely people ever actually#i have friends but i never see them#i spend all my time on here#ive taken to talking to people down my street which does help tbh like i do enjoy feeling like i have a community#i have a friend named tom down the road but hes like. in his 40s or 50s. but i do enjoy talking to him when we're out walking our dogs#i went out with him and his daughter to try and see the northern lights but it was too cloudy#i felt rly bad for knocking on his door at 10 pm to look at nothing but he was glad i reminded him#but once i go back home its just nothing#my life is just a series of waiting to take drugs again and its eating away at me but i cant fucking Do Anything#i just kinda feel like a pathetic loser for not doing anything productive ever and i KNOW i shouldn't let that demean my character in any wa#y#i know im a good and kind and funny person but my inability to bring myself to improve anything just makes me feel like im the worst#whatever#thoughtsing
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ik a mention rgg nerfing ttm's features when modelin sawashiro every five minutes but they really had to cause aint no way in hell would a been intimated by this bruv if they didnt
#snap chats#oh im fucked i really put 'a' instead of 'i'. whatever thats how i pronounce it we goin phonetic baby#did ou know i remember abolutely nothing about the ending of drive. i watched it while drinking two soju#DO NOT RECOMMEND by responsible#to totally contradict myself im drinkin nigori i bought . i didnt know alcohol cold frreeze and i accidentally froze it ☠️☠️☠️#iiii ALOMST knocked my cup over ohmy gd#moving on. legality to say soem BULLSHIT noowt ho#anyway n o lsien to me ttm's 38 in this movie and sawashiro's 38 in 2000. probably. i cant do math rn Or Ever point is About Same Age#this IS from drive. great movie. and this is one of his cuter/sillier roles imo so awkward comp but ill still speak#main text got me lying i was out of pocket seeing bro frame 1 anyways but it woulda been a diff vibe this route lsten to me#hes just too cute bro . bye. fymhes an antagonist hes too cte for that <- his filmography prves otherwise#gon try to start an argument with me what you gon do mate kiss me ??? enough.#i like how ttm just has A Vibe to him. Apparently. he always playin awkward mates.... back then anyway..#postman blues did him so dirty bein all 'slender-framed mates are more prone to socipathy' LKE LEAVE HIM ALONNNE#wehhh i wish they mocapped his facial expressions more accuraltey in rgg. and his teeth. his smle still cute to me..#i sound lke my mom when she talks bout lee joongi whenever i talk bout ttm ew lke bye. stop#ok im going bak to playing mincraft now bye#oh my gd when did it become 2AM literally suck my ween
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can’t sleep how is everyone
#sunspeak#i would normally probably go to 711 but im staying in my weird gay thing’s apartment and i’m not waking him up#<- he sleeps so so soundly thank god i knocked like 4 things over trying to get ibuprofen#i might go hang out on the balcony for a bit though since there’s no one else here
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I don't think this is completely in character cause I don't really see chevalier becoming "friends" with anyone but I do love headcanoning him and my mc becoming somewhat close over a love of books and military history and everyone thinking it's really weird when we like read together or talk books together cause what do you mean you actually like hanging out with chev??
#ikemen prince#ikepri#like specifically when youre not romancing him#and he kinda respects my mcs will to face problems/not run etc#and yeah im not a huge chev stan dont know whole lot about his character but does feel ooc to me#and idc!!!#alsosorry to these games but im not a full-on pacifist like they always put you out to be so ill fucking go ape on someone trying to abduct#me or whatever even if they just give me a whap on my head and knock me out#or theres a one-off line in dragon age 2 where varric mentions a purple hawke was charismatic enough to literally persuade anyone#tells a story of how some guys tried to rob hawke when she was home and next thing varric knew hawke had convinced them to play cards with#them#so leaning into the full pacifist of these dating sims sometimes i imagine my char being like that where can just convince almost anyone of#changing their allegience or whatever
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Why do people pound on the door so aggressively 😭 like you owe them money
And then you open it and it's like a girl scout aggsgsgdgdgd
#marquilla#i think it was someone doing political canvasing since voting is tomorrow bc i know they did that in 2018 or 2020 idr which but they were#clearly prepared to have to convince me and theyre like asking voting shit and im like yup :) yup :) to everything both so theyd leave but#bc it was true and the guy was like okay! great! :D#or it was someone trying to get us to switch electric or gas companies and theyre such pricks ab it here too like they will not leave#and if you just straight up say youre not interested they get so aggressive ab it#one lady said she told them to go away and the guy literally sat on her porch saying he would'nt be leaving until she signed and she had to#call the cops or threaten to for him to leave. like it wasnt just someone being like okay fine well im gonna sit and rest a minute he was#being really creepy ab it 😬 our neighborhood has horror stories ab them bc they're so unhinged#ANYWAY they didnt knock again but it was so loud it scared the piss out of me#our neighbor when she gets our mail by mistake will pound on the fucking windows and she always goes for mine 😭😭😭#like bitch i cant open that one and also you KNOW which one mom opens to grab the mail anyways so stooop
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RATS are NOT your friends at night while you're reading a scary book
#so if you didnt know. rats are nocturnal#so its 2am where i am rn. my room is pitch dark because i have my blinds shut#and im reading a scary book. lots of spooky creatures and body horror and haunted shit#and my rats. are knocking shit over and chewing on things and generally being menaces#or theyll go silent for a minute abd i think theyre chilling and then all of a sudden theyll drop a toy or something#and scare the shit out of me#they use their spooky little hands to climb on the bars of their cage. and they use their spooky little teeth to aggressively eat kibble#and i gave them new toys today. these edible foraging toys that they love#but that means my room is full of the sound of pulling on bars. or the clicking of a water bottle. or chewing. so muvh chewing#and im reading about this dead body come back to life. with like all of her bones broken. killing a guy in the most grotesque way#and its altogether a very bad experience#i was bored for the first 70ish pages but then it got really fucking good and im hooked. but its also terrifying#the rats have gone silent but now my dog is shifting in his kennel outside my room#both are terrifying. why are my rats silent. why is my dog moving. when will he move next#these animals are harassing me. whats next. my sibling's rabbit is going to break in? in roommate's cat will start scratching at the door?#if my landlord is reading this then ignore all of these tags. we only have a dog sir. no rodents or felines or whatever tf a rabbit is here#ah the rats are making sounds again. terrible horrifying sounds#i have to piss but im scared to get out of bed. i think i live here now. in bed. i cant leave#on a somewhat related note i really want to make deviled eggs rn but i have roommates that are trying to sleep#on one hand i miss living alone. on the other it makes me feel safer to have two other people here with me#even if the threat is only my imagination#and my mischievous critters
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Comics Read in 2023:
She Loves to Cook, and She Loves To Eat Vol. 3 by Sakaomi Yuzaki (2023)
Not-Sew-Wicked Stepmom Vol. 1 by Yir & 모구랭 (2021)
Not-Sew-Wicked Stepmom Vol. 2 by Yir & 모구랭 (2021)
Not-Sew-Wicked Stepmom Vol. 3 by Yir & 모구랭 (2023)
The Water Dragon's Bride Vol. 1 by Rei Toma (2015)
Undead Girl Murder Farce Vol. 1 by Yugo Aosaki & Haruka Tomoyama (2021)
Candy & Cigarettes Vol. 1 by Tomonori Inoue (2017)
Candy & Cigarettes Vol. 2 by Tomonori Inoue (2017)
Candy & Cigarettes Vol. 3 by Tomonori Inoue (2018)
[ID: Covers of the aforementioned books. End ID.]
#2023media#gigi.txt#she loves 2 cook knocking it out of the park as per usual. fucking love it.#every time more chapters drop im like AGHHHH and drop EVERYTHING#not sew wicked stepmom is mostly silly fun but does take csa seriously and i'm glad for that#if u like that genre worth trying but it's nothing like. standout. i just like family-centric isekais#had to reread earlier volumes bc it updated and i. forgot so much LMAO#the water dragon's bride is. hm. im definitely interested in the concept and the sheer. inhumaness#of one of the male lead characters. but we'll see how it goes? i'm interested!#undead girl murder farce is wild but interesting. def going to keep at it. give it a shot#candy and cigarettes had an interesting premise - middle schooler and retired cop team up as hitmen#but it was. too fucking weird about the kid. it happened one off at first and i was like#okay as long as it doesn't repeat then i can stick it out#but it did....................#so don't try that one. ugh.
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Pre-gaming my evil run in my current playthrough by killing npcs bc im about ready to snap
#prince's gaming tag#I TRIED TO BE GOOD I REALLY DID#I WAS LIKE 'hey the girl im pursuing in this run is watching and she wont appreciate you killing everyone in sight'#WELL TRYING TO KEEP THOSE STEEL WATCH WORKERS ALIVE WAS A CHORE AND A HALF#AND THEY KEPT RUNNING INTO MY SPELLS SO FUCK IT YOURE ALL DEAD NOW#i was gonna keep the one guy alive that made the robots and knew how to dismantle it#but he would not sneak past the robots with me which meant id have to fight them#im at max level theres no reason for me to do that. so i killed him and got the info on how to dismantle the factory#by having another character get it out of his corpse#and then i saved the artist from hos ghost problem but they kept knocking me down and just when i was about beat the quest#the game crashes and i had to start from the beginning#so i killed him and his wife after doing it again bc fuck them#with the way im going through with this i should made that vampire ascend but whatever imma do it for sure next time
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#to translate this post: someone liked this post i made (on the upper left) on AUGUST 28 having a moment of self awareness that i was running#away from my whole life and not moving or learni ng to drive or anything. it is now march 8. it has been almost 7 months. and i have made#basically zero progress. and there is nothing stopping me but me. i could read the drivers manual and whatever whenever i want. but i am not#doing anything. and i don’t know how to get myself to start.#purrs#i know it’s a cop out excuse but i truly do think it’s covid. i think being in lockdown for a year and a half made me just let go of any#sense of progress. made me scared to take steps forward. and i mean i did bc i lived on campus for a while after that but it’s like.. EVERY#part of my life is stagnant rn it seems. and it’s not just me it’s my siblings too. we’re all getting older but none of us is trying to move#out or gain our independence in any way and my brother isn’t even looking for jobs even though he needs one. we’re all just getting older#but we’ve lost (or maybe had knocked out of us by covid and our mom being so strict) any sense of moving ipward and spreading our wings.#forgotten we have wings at all. and ive done important things like going on a house tour or traveling with my besties (<3). but i have only#made it to page 8 of the drivers manual and i truly do not want to read the rest of it. i have only been on one house tour and im longing to#move out but how much am i really because i can’t bring myself to schedule another tour and start searching for a new home in earnest.#i just come home every day UTTERLY exhausted and spend all my free time trying to process or rest. and im not making room for myself to use#my wings. and it’s truly terrible. why are we all okay with living like this. my younger self would be HORRIFIED if she saw how much i had a#atrophied since graduating and moving back home. my brighton self would be HORRIFIED. i told myself i wouldn’t and then it’s exactly what i#did. and ik im being harsh and ive spread my wings in some important ways during this time but… these are so obvious. such low hanging#fruit in some ways. bc any 16 year old can take this test and pass it so why can’t i at 24? why won’t i let myself? dont i want a nice cozy#home i make my own where i can eat what i want and sleep when i want and have control over sounds? then why am i not running for it?#delete later#i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 my one precious life 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃#also LMFAOOOOO the next tag on that aug 28 post was that i need to get a new campus id card… guess who hasn’t done that either ♥️
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8/20's au-gust fill...is in progress but might also just get deleted and skipped lmao (it's still so wordy and not finished and I have zero confidence in this fucker. I think I would like it but then again I like verbose little weird novellas/short stories that are a packed slice of time and then I never hear from any of the characters in that universe/au ever again but think about them forever after. But that's definitely not to everyone's taste or even anyone's taste in general, broadly so. Things to consider)
today's (8/21) fill isn't happening. Tomorrow's fill, possibly.
thank fuck 8/23's fill has been done for ages now
and I'm picking away at fills for 8/24 and 8/25 for now (bc I can't sleep until I get more done, even if it's just a few lines that I wind up deleting)
#text post#I can't say I got every day done or that they were done as well as others but#I'll be able to say I tried to complete au-gust at least#maybe that's enough#not for me personally im absolutely going to hold this over my own head for the next month as a failure but#like the general idea of trying being enough is still nice lol#then comes finishing the izzy bingo card or at least as much as possible before Halloween#and by then i think i find out if my zine application was accepted or if i'm not going to be doing anything for that#regardless if you see me deciding to sign up for any other strict writing projects for winter maybe just psychically smack me okay?#not hard just a tap to knock some sense back in there#unless focusing on the writing is actually keeping me sane while I try to keep my current job and find a new better one#but i honestly can't tell at this point and i highly doubt anyone else can either (or would want to take the time to figure that out)#who am i even typing this update for is also a question to ask#but it's my blog so im allowed to post writing updates nobody cares about except me lmao
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i love making ocs that are weird little girls. love giving them loving families that are encouraging the weird little girls. rejoice autism be upon ye
#text#the deathspeaker#kiara#im thinking about her so much right now shes so silly#she grows up with the worlds most sarcastic dad a lawyer mom an elf monster hunter sibling#her aunt who keeps trying to teach her how to say fuck her other aunt that tells the first one to knock it off#before teaching her how to steal wallets. the god of death as a babysitter#her dads friends that he met in jail and their kid that hates her mom with their entire heart but#keeps coming over anyways to also try to teach her how to say fuck#absolutely none of these people are going to be influencing her into being a normal child#by the time she got into preschool joe and dara had to go Oh Shit We Cant Have Her Saying Fuck The Cops#and figure out how to unteach her that#but she manages to appear mostly normal throughout her life as long as nobody asks her about herself#shes a bit silly thats all <3 and then other kids try to talk to her and she goes MY dad talks to GHOSTS#and the ghosts think im VERY cute so im the worlds most special girl#one of the ghosts left me some crackers one time and uncle death had to take them away#and then she goes back to drawing with her crayons and humming#how is she supposed to know that sounds scary to other people. this is just her life#she's going to grow up and get a girlfriend because there is something so wrong with her she needs to be studied#kiaras going to learn so many things arent normal
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🦋
#LMAO I FUCKING CANT.#so missionaries came to my doorstep-- which is literally just hilarious. even more hilarious? one of them was from hawaii.#they ask about my religion&i tell them bc i dont see any point not to&the yt man speaking to me tells me#he was a surfer back in the day so--&this is a literal quote-- 'i went to hawaii&heard it all as a haole on the beach'#remember this is literally entirely unprompted from a missionary who knocked on my door in response to my answering a question#about my religion. so why did this come up? probably the same reason that he then went to on to ask me what would happen if HE wanted#to join my religion&when i answer 'you would probably have to handle that yourself as religion is entirely personal'#he literally stands there w no answer before going 'well our church accepts EVERYONE no matter what theyve done'#&--again this is a direct quote-- 'we have ppl who have done blood sacrifices to their ancestors who have found the REAL god' LMAO.#he then started talking about how the neighboring apartment complex has a primarily east european community?#like with actual statistics bc appartently he just knows that the next apartment complex over is 80% yt immigrants?#not entirely sure how they had anything at all to do w anything so thats around when i stopped laughing openly at him#&told him my neighbors were coming up the stairs&i found taking up the entire staircase to be incredibly rude#so they needed to get the fuck out lmao&the missionary from hawaii-- who had said almost nothing the whole time lmao--#wouldnt look me in the eye while telling me thank you for my time probably bc he now had to continue doing missionary work#w a man who spent a solid five minutes trying to prove im racist&exclusionay as a default#literally ONLY bc im hawaiian v traditional about it&proud as FUCK about all those facts#whiiiiich only made him look&sound. fucking TERRIBE lmao.#anyway its good to know that several hundreds of years later&a move away from my colonized home where yt missionaries destroyed my culture#i STILL cant fucking get away from yt missionaries&their ABHORRENT behaviour lmao.#i need to start checking who the fuck is at my door before opening it.#or at the v least start letting roxy just fucking tear ppl like this to shreds like she wants bc their vibes are so rank#my dog can't stand at my side w/o her ridge going so far up she doesnt NEED to growl to get the point across lmao.
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vent tags below I do not suggest that you read them
#shin talks#shin vents#i woke up. early. always early on my day off#i slept in exactly one time this year so far#and i get . on tumblr. on twitter. to wake up. on my day off#i only give myself one day off a week it's not particularly good for me#and i figure . i will wake up with some fun posts and some stupid stuff and some cats and some laughs#and i. cant. i cant do it!#I can't do this thing where I wander into these spaces that are supposed to be curated to be fun -#and i do A LOT OF EFFORT A FUCKING LOT OF EFFORT OKAY to make that happen -#I have OVER FIVE HUNDRED WORDS blocked on twitter so don't you fucking tell me that this is my fault a'ight#and now. im sitting here. because I can't read anymore tumblr!#because every fucking other post I see is c*nt this c*nt that#and guess what?? guess wHAT???#of the THREE acceptable words for ''vagina''#THAT was the one I USED TO USE in kink spaces!! haha!!! funny!!!#funny internet joke!!! ruining that fucking word for a MEME#a partner at some point is going to try to use that word on me in a scene and it is going to INSTANTLY knock me out of the scene entirely#and I'm going to go flat and unemotional and not be able to participate in scene and it's going to RUIN SEX for me for WEEKS#all because the internet thinks that it's hee hee haa haa funny#to take one of the THREE FUCKING WORDS that don't sound like fucking ''meat thermometer''#and RUIN it. just fucking.#and WORSE?! WORSE???#now one of my partners is EXPLICITLY and EXCLUSIVELY suddenly using words and descriptions of sex acts#that they ONLY EVEN KNOW ABOUT BECAUSE OF MY BODY#to ''hee hee haa haa oh no im in trouble in a video game''#just fucking SCREAMING about my fucking genitals#about specific sex acts that have been performed by them on me#as if that's a fucking funny as if that should EVER be said in this manner for this situation#and now I can't even scroll on the websites where I have spent literal years
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joel didn’t take away ellie’s agency in tlou1 the fireflies did and just cus tlou2 thought good storytelling is done by retconning the original and what actually happened DOWN TO CHANGING THE COLOURS OF THE OR TO MAKE JOEL LOOK MORE HOSTILE AND MAKING IT SEEM LIKE ELLIE EXPECTED TO DIE AND WANTED TO that doesn’t change send tweet
#if i see someone say this one more fucking time ill lose it#i have so much more 2 say about this and part 2 and why it was absolutely terrible writing#and incredibly bad rep which is wild cus so many ppl go so hard for it and tell anyone who didn’t like it they’re homophobic#one day i will say it maybe sooner rather than later but GOD y’all test me#and if anyone comes at me about nuance pls understand that ik u only bloater flick that at ppl cus u haven’t got anything substantial 2 say#tlou1#tlou2#imagine a group of ppl knocking ur protector out as he’s giving u cpr and then putting u on an operating table#ready to kill you without asking you about it and telling ur adopted dad (yeah she adopted him)#they’ll kill him if he tries to get to you#and he’s the one who took your agency away I HAVE TO LAUGH#the last of us spoilers#im not trying to tag hate btw i just don’t wanna spoil any of it for ppl who haven’t played
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