#so happy to be back studying again
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snippets from my first term finally back to school!
#so happy to be back studying again#i get to learn new things and also revisit practicing maths again which i always enjoy#genuinely excited to take in everything this diploma course has to offer#studyblr#studyspo#studyspiration#study#motivation#muji#doubt i will be going back to studygram but i might lurk around on studyblr!#new mutuals and friends would be nice <3#obsidianstudy#studyvan#heycoral#cee's
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finally got around to doing that illustration I wanted to do from TAOLAW by @fireflywritesgt :D
Huzzah!
#This little part made my heart Happy!#g/t#giant tiny#g/t art#gianttiny#taolaw#Hehehe#I finally got all of my coursework finished so I’m free forever after Tuesday!#10 hour exam.#Drawing for two Days Straight#And we can’t even bring headphones 😭 I’m gonna explode !#Anyway ^_^ Draw ing things I want to draw actually Makes me happy!#Idid a whole lighting study yesterday for my coursework but I still don’t know If I captured it right here#After my examI can get back to posting self indulgent drawings again Huzzah!
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witch's gloves
#so i constantly have issues with brushes meant for linework because i end up getting tails at the end of my lines whenever i lift the pen#and i recently remembered that my pen sensitivity is set super high#so i set it back to the middle. and subsequently realized that All of my brushes and erasers act differently now#like i used to use the kneading eraser in CSP as just a normal eraser. because it had better opacity sensitivity#turns out the kneading eraser is Not supposed to work like that#anyways this was me trying to use all my brushes again with the normal sensitivity and i'm happy with how it turned out ^o^#really need to do more fabric studies though.#my art#my ocs
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Mikhail and Vitali were inseparable; when they weren’t studying or getting into fights, they would hang out at Mikhail’s place to smoke and get drunk on cheap rum and vodka, to then pass out in each other’s arms and sleep most of the next day away.
They promised each other— no matter what would happen— they would never leave each other’s side. Yet after starting university and college respectively, they did not see each other for a little over six years, leaving them both heartbroken and wondering what went wrong.
by lucas expedidor // catch me if you can; eden // clementine von radics, from 'courtney love prays to oregon' // sam sax, cruising: a broken tiara // 'ceramic home' by heavensghost; quote from john murillo // 'something's changed' by laiikastears // i don't want to watch the world end with someone else; clinton kane // fortesa latifi, from 'the truth about grief' // audre lorde, the evening news // frank o'hara, biotherm (for bill berkson) // heading home; ruben // 'preface to a dream' by alessandra casini // tokyo; caroline kole // langston hughes, poem // haruki murakami, norwegian wood // julie buntin, marlena // by lute // by aleksandr popov // anyway; noah kahan // christa wolf, cassandra: a novel and four essays
#cp2077#edit:mikhail#edit:vitali#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#happy birthday to my two boys :^) yes they share the same birthday what about it. it's essential to their whole. thing#whatever it is. they're like soulmates but also they are NOT dating. i need you to understand that. because it makes everything funnier#you guys remember when i first introduced them here and people thought they were together. good times honestly#but yeah no vitali is officially dating vincent and mikhail is just their eternal third wheel. their relationship can't be defined#they also reunite of course but i LOVE emphasizing their grief. they didn't know they'd ever see each other again#and they've known each other since around age 12. imagine spending almost every day with someone who CHOSE you#and then suddenly not seeing them or talking to them for YEARS. what do you do with that grief. that pain#sure they've found each other back but what do you do with that. where do you put it. it makes me insane!!!#they both were so lonely in their own way. vitali getting lost in vices and crowds but ending up all by himself at the end of the day#and mikhail drowning himself in studying and pushing himself far over his limits just to distract himself from the hole in his chest#night city in my head is much more massive than what it feels like in game. like yeah it feels big but not. BIG big#and i think mikhail and vitali's story and them losing contact while only a district apart really emphasizes how like#how HUGE this city is not only in terms of actual land it covers but also just. how overwhelming it is. how it can swallow you whole#anyway if you've read all of this hi. wanna make out
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Art by fanartists is just so good.
Sometimes I'm just browisng through tumblr and am like
look at all this good art
SO MUCH GOOD ART
look at all the amazing color theory and composition and beautiful themes and linework
ITS ALL SO GOOD
thank you artists for sharing a piece of your world and helping my brain makes some dopamine
#this is for trigun fanart right now#trigun fanart#I struggle getting back into drawing#and looking at other artists work I'm just like#you did so much work to get to where you are and I'm so happy you share it here#And then I mercilessly try to study the details#I just need to draw again and enjoy being bad#artists on tumblr
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in the amelia pond au, amelia’s aunt does still send her to therapy between doctor adventures, but since amelia is now secure in the fact that he’s Definitely Real since both rory and mels have also met him and because she lost a tooth last week from tripping on the stairs of the tardis, she doesn’t bite any therapists this time around. and besides, her therapist is a very funny lady. she reminds amelia of her doctor, with how her voice will flip and jump in volume and accent and tone on a whim, with how she’ll talk to amelia like they’re conspiring together. she keeps the pictures amelia draws of the doctor and their adventures for her, even hangs one or two on the walls. she listens very intently to every detail, which no adults in amelia’s life do save the doctor himself and river song, whenever she’s around. and best of all, whenever she tells amelia’s aunt that amelia is doing just fine, don’t you worry, she’ll grow out of this, she winks at amelia so that amelia will know her therapist is only playing along to wave away her aunt’s suspicion.
it is a little odd, though, that she insists on only being called Missy. but amelia is quite used to odd by now.
#not the point of this post but. please do imagine amelia and rory and mels and the doctor all having escaped from Real Actual Danger#rory has the energy of a cat with its fur all puffed up and looks like he’s either going to start crying or yelling at the doctor#mels is standing on the box the doctor got her so she could see the tardis console better and studying the way he flies it very intently#and amelia is still full of energy and adrenaline and can’t stop racing around the tardis like a hyperactive gerbil. because if she stops#she might have to be scared instead but if she can run long enough she’ll forget to be scared at all and when she collapses exhausted all#she’ll have left are the exciting happy memories#and then she misteps racing up the stairs. shouts! the doctor and mels and rory are all at attention immediately. mels moves first but rory#is closer and helps amelia back up. and then the doctor is crouching down in front of her. ‘let me see. oh that’s a lot of blood. that’s.#how much blood are you able to lose again? its more than this. probably.’ amelia’s whole face hurts. but the doctor’s rambling is familiar.#it helps. and he’s only so talkative when he’s sure he has a solution. besides. rory’s head’s nestled on her shoulder and mel’s got her#hands. the doctor wipes blood off her nose and her chin. tilts her head up and goes ‘aaa’ sticking his tongue out until she does it too.#and he tells her to feel her upper row of teeth with her tongue. she does until she finds the gap.#it still hurts. hurts more when she nudges it with her tongue all bleeding and raw. but she just lost a tooth! and you know what that means.#they have to find it. or else how will the tooth fairy leave her any money?#(the doctor hears her say that to mels as they search. and he glances off to the side and makes a note to go back and make sure it *was* her#aunt leaving her those coins. and not something else. which he does. and finds out her aunt wasn’t leaving her any coins at all.#he can’t just let that stand! so the doctor becomes amy’s tooth fairy as well.)#and that is how amelia loses a tooth on the tardis.#amelia pond au
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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Nooooo haha don’t think about how Tildy probably feels like she spent all her life waiting for people to come back to her. Don’t think about how she probably feels like she lost her crush because of whatever she didn’t do and her apprentice because of whatever she did do. Lmfao definitely don’t think about how no amount of power prevented her from aging all on her own despite being shown to enjoy the presence of loved ones. Don’t think about how she spent her years waiting to be found by people who saw her as more than just her titles. Don’t think about how she likely feels every opportunity for that has slipped through her fingers. Haha. :)
#:)#I’m so happy for her. in her elderly years she met Pete again and got Kaisa back and even got a NEW child#but good lord. this lovely woman spent so many years alone despite actively trying to not be alone#:(#I’m not counting the weird ass cloud dog weather spirit btw#Cornelius I want to study you under a microscope#Matilda pilqvist#tildy hilda
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february Usagi Chronicles shot study from the end of ep 2, because I haven't been working on it but definitely would like to continue it one day (I just find the shot choices in this show very fun)
youtube
#this is so old but i'll get back to it one day#would like to do another shot one day tbh#usagi chronicles#srtuc#srtuc Gen#yuichi usagi#srtuc Kitsune#srtuc Chizu#aghhtdraws#drawnaghht#animation shot study#fananimation#it's not a reanimate bc I didn't really change anything I'm just studying the subtle movements and bigger movements here#anyway; old art from february but this made me happy and excited to work on something animated so up it goes again#not sure if I posted more or not tbh#Youtube
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not sure yet and not very sonic but im thinking about it
#still not sure about her design aaa its mostly cos sonic universe doesnt have giant otters#i know archie had an otter at some point but i looked at it and was like nah i want big TEETH#im also not sure cos what she is now doesnt really look like sonicesque enuf#i always end up making her eyes too smol for sonic world#i was listening to “Os Tincoãs” and was like my oc i remember her and then i started mindlessly doodling#and although making her be a capoeira practitioner was in my mind already i never drew anything capoeira related before#so i picked a video on youtube and made a little last second “study” with her weird proportions#turned out trash but im happy i tried#i want her to be kinda like vector cos u know giant otter#and they also have their bodies connected to the tail like crocs#also yeah she is a girl i just didnt want to giver a shirt cos then it would hide the markings they have on the neck#that like makes their family differentiate one from the other and i was like awn im not hiding dat#but maybe if i find another way to make her shapes she can have a shirt on#I have a name idea im almost sure its gonna be her final name but wanna think more#if nothin changes her name will be Floreio :3#wanted to do more but my back hurts and ima sleepy its past midnight again yeyy#wee my art i gues
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academia win(?)! this weasel turned in their dissertation
#i feel like ive been hit over the head with a brick repeatedly so this is easier and funnier than#reassuring several different people im alive one by one while im still fucked up khgSDK. hi tho#sorry to all of my friends i will individually apologise for evaporating into a fine mist later when my braincells regenerate#shaking and sobbing and foaming at the mouth i dont want to look at this ever again but i have to make a presentation on it#and talk abt it to an audience next week#give it a 60% chance the supervisor asks me a question and something within me snaps and i just start biting/j#im happy with most of how it came out tho. most of it#my procedure and study was so so shit my only saving grace is that i could fill out an entire discussion section with how much#shit i had to criticise and pick apart down to the goddamn seams.#by the end i wasnt even sure if i studied what i claimed to be studying the entire time but thats whatever i still get marks for saying tha#anyway im running on 4 hours sleep and a fistful of cereal and have to brave public transport later#and family stuff. its my sisters birthday so i gotta go home. which might also kill me#but i will be back on social media and talking when i feel less like a corpse i prommy 👍
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what if i rewatched all of sharper than a serpent’s tooth while doing my homework. that sounds sort of okay tbh
#it’s weird bc i almost never like watching my own directing back#except in this case like. it’s the only way i get to see and hear that story again#and i REALLY like the story#it’s also only about an hour so if i can focus while i watch and finish studying in that time……. well i would be so happy#ted talks#lear adaptation
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imagine being able to look into your moms eyes without feeling immense guilt clawinf at your heart
#ill never get tattoos or piercings or present myself in a way you wpuldnt want me to ill dedicate my life to pleasing you#ill stay up studying every night n still wake up at 5.25 each morning to go to school bc me getting good grades makes you happy#ive never went to a party ive never gone to prom ive never had a friendgroup ill never leave town ill never go to uni#ill be here for you till you wont be here for me anymore#i wont leave i cant leave i wont try to leave#never had dreams or aspirations of any kind so youll have me at your door at all times#you know whats best i dont know whats the worst that could happen sorry if ive ever talked in my sleep#never asking you to wash my back never asking you for more ever again#my pocket money are enough for me i wont buy anything else that isnt a need i wont throw uour money away ill never yell again
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The Stanley Parable is a game about many things, but it is most importantly a game about divorce
#/half joking#i could write a big analysis but. it's late lol#but there is So Much that's just like. your character dynamics are so fucked up i want to study you#something about the Narrator not being able to live without Stanley but never being 'good enough' to make him happy#and that feeling looping right back around to resenting Stanley for making him feel so alone even when they're together#like. doesn't exactly have to be read romantically but i do think 'divorce' sums up my thoughts about it easiest#i could think about it way more but again it's really late lmao#tsp#the stanley parable
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Not to be too pathetic on main but it is wildddd how I can go from gasping sobs and hyperventilating to smiling and laughing and talking with a client in like. 5 minutes. Insane that I have to cut a breakdown short cuz I have a kid's cut coming in and I can't afford them seeing me cry.
#like purely from a place of 'someone should study me/this'.#I've spent my whole day crying and now I'm gonna go home and my mom is gonna make me feel stupid and I'm gonna cry again#rinse and repeat all weekend#I want things to go back to how they were. it wasn't great and I wasn't happy usually but it was better#I'm so tired of this.
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hii @pierogish-side!!! thank you for tagging me!! <3
Last song: This could be us by Rae Sremmurd
Favorite color: mmm really feeling brown rn
Currently watching: OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH WOOHOO!! its so fun (everyone is going through it)
Last movie: The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar dir. Wes Anderson
Currently reading: im currently studying for uni so im stuck at Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and The Course of Love by Alain de Botton :(
Sweet/spicy/savory: sweet forever and always
Relationship status: uhhh im dying and rebirthing from my ashes 👍
Current obsession: .....kiribaku..... im back at it again OTZ
Last things I googled: wes anderson (so i could find out what the above movie was called lmao), werewolf (singular), boku no hero academia wiki episodes (this is a call for help)
Currently working on: im in my last year of uni (lmao pierogish... 😭) and i need to finish it so im studying really hard!!! (and trying to not give up) but itll probably be a while until i get my degree. also i bought an old polaroid from a thrift shop and im thinking of making it work
tagging: @skijjiki, @livingonyoghurtandspite,@peachybeesplease, @horson, @mars-matrix
#guys im gonna go back to my bnha era..... this was almost 5 or 6 (??) years ago and i was so happy but like.........#its been so long.........#i miss kiribaku so much and i hadnt had the mood for bnha since season 3 aired#i know whats going on in the manga (bc im noisy) and my interest is piqued and i probably will start reading the manga from the beginning#(im not kidding when i say this is a call for help)#if uni wasnt killing me softly (without a song or anything nice) and life was a little less uh 'much' i would have been reading so much#fanfic and (hopefully) drawing ;-;#i miss drawing#cant wait to reread chonideno's krbk fanfics!! they sure wont break my heart in tiny little pieces!! again!! (big faves please give them#a read if you want)#also i accidentaly (fate?) saw what 'mouthful' means in the 'you said a mouthful' sense and it has a positive meaning#specifically it means 'you are right'#'tasteful' has also positive meaning and 'touchful' doesnt exist (yet?) so thats how far ive come to my research#also completely irrelevant with anything ive said before but please if you can check out duolingo's insta profile and tell#me im not hallucinating#specifically the last and third to last posts. its one photo and one video#does it look like im stalling from my studies? (please say no)#get tagged#onion talks#i hope this whole thing didnt brought you a headache like it did to me...... theres a mismatch of so many different things.........#if you made it this far im gonna share with you one of my favorite songs im listening rn: brutus (Instrumental) by the buttress
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