i am SO unwell about f.f16

me reopening house flipper and seeing "the steam page for house flipper 2 is now live!"

"A Real Vampire!"

Pairing: Streber x Male Vampire Reader Summary: As the prince of the dark kingdom, you disappear on halloween to go participate in foolish mortal activities to distract yourself from your father. You never thought you'd meet a cute 'vampire.' Word Count: 1.6k Proofread: ya Notes: honestly really based off of skyrim dawnguard DLC + hotel trannsylvania vibes Streber doesn't get attacked by bob in this.

You were the prince of a dark kingdom. A hidden kingdom, hidden from humanity, meant to never have been found by humans.

Being the highly respected and infamous young vampire prince, you were planning on escaping this dreaded castle you had been practically trapped in all your life.

Your father was a stuck up fool who only cared about his image. He never cared about you, and you could tell that. He only used you to uphold his oh so mighty image, only pretending he cared about you, but he barely ever remembered your own birthday - not that he cared.

Your mother was one of the only ones in your life who had seemed to care about you, nursing you as a child, though when you were only so young she died from an immortal sickness. You could only remember the comforting and warm, distinct feeling of her holding you in her arms.

However, you had the opportunity to leave for one day. A mortal tradition, called Halloween, was a yearly occasion that took place on October 31st. It was perfect, humans dressed up in silly little costumes and walked around their residence to gather sweets from others. They dressed up as vampires too, which you saw as a bit of an insult to your race, but at least it could grant you cover to blend in with the crowd.

It was perfect. You heard about this idea from your friend, [Friend]. They'd suggested you sneak out for an early night, going out in your fanciest little royal vampire attire and blending in with the humans. It was funny, you were pretending to be humans pretending to be vampires.

[Friend] was a more higher class vampire. Not exactly royalty, but their family had connections which is how you knew each other. You were practically cousins.

They had an odd interest for humans, learning as much as they could about them, usually spending most of their time in the library for research. Hence how they found out about 'Halloween.' You weren't inclined to bother with any of those lowly humans, unsure about why they even showed an interest in them.

Though you didn't think much of humans, you agreed, taking any chance to escape the dreaded castle you'd been stuck in.

So... here you were, dressed in - what you would call - a fairly casual outfit. You were wearing a victorian style outfit, (i have no fucking idea how to describe any specific outfit so just imagine your wearing something very fancy looking lol)

You and your friend exited through the portal to the human world, knocking out all the guards with sleepy gas and sneaking through the portal. When you finally came through, you found yourself in a familiar dark forest.

This wasn't the first time you'd been out here, but it was one of the few. You were grateful to be able to escape your father for once.

[Friend] giggled as they grabbed your arm and hopped away, dragging you with them. "Come on! Let's go get candy, I'm so excited!" You struggled to keep up with their pace, trying not to trip over your feet as you were dragged behind them. "Hey, slow down!"

You both trudged towards the lights of the city, carrying bags for candy. At least this would get you away from your father for a few hours.

The moon shone out bright above you two merrily wandering around, going from door to door to ask for candy. It was very fun, especially when you could get so close to humans without them knowing you were real vampires. You both received many compliments.

Soon you came across a worn down house, with a sign on the lawn that read “Haunted House.” You weren’t sure what that was supposed to mean, but your thoughts were broken through as [Friend] giggled and grabbed your hand, dragging you up the steps of the porch.

They walked up to the doorway, holding out their bag full of candy and confusedly looking around for any signs of life as you stood behind them with your arms crossed.

Suddenly, a small cloud of green mist covered the area in front of the doorway. [Friend] jumped at the sudden disturbance, dropping both your candy bags that they had been holding on the floor. A short male emerged, who seemed to be dressed as a ‘vampire.’ It was odd, but he wasn’t the first person you saw wearing a vampire costume.

“Ah! Welcome to the hauntiest of houses!” The man greeted you with enthusiasm in his voice. Your eyes widened slightly. The more you gazed upon him, you kinda thought he was cute. Wait, what? No, he wasn’t even a real vampire. That couldn’t happen, especially to a royal vampire prince like you.

The man went over to a mirror, leading you both with him. “As you can see, I am a REAL vampire!” He draped his green cape over his head, appearing invisible behind you. Funny thing was, you were both invisible too, so there was nothing but your own floating clothes on the mirror as you gave [Friend] a look. He didn't seem to notice though, the cloth covering his sight.

He then ushered you both near the doorway again. "Now get inside, and get SCARED!" He wiggled his fingers playfully, as [Friend] giggled childishly and eagerly ran inside. You stayed back as they walked on, staying with the vampire boy.

He gave you a smile and waved as he noticed you looking at him, fixing his outfit. You smiled and approached him, ready to shoot your shot like you were Devin Booker. (hehe) You weren't even sure why you were somewhat attracted to this mortal, though you just went with the flow in that moment.

"Hello, nice.. costume." You started off, completely forgetting about [Friend]. "Hi! I really like your costume too, it's very.. elegant!" He exclaimed, looking up at you.

There was a slight awkward air. You only did this in theory, never actually tried it, but in front of a human did you have anything to lose?

"Can I interest you in a date?" You asked, trying to seem confident in your actions and words. Inside you were screaming. Even if it was a human and you'd likely never see him again, you were still super nervous. You honestly had no idea what you were doing in that moment.

His pale cheeks immediately turned pink at that. "E-Excuse me? A date??" He averted his eyes, scratching the back of his neck flusteredly.

"Well, why not? You only live once don't you?" You smirked at your slight choice of word play. Nice.

He paused for a second, thinking about what you had said. "Well.. I suppose so. Where and what time?" He looked back at you again, softly smiling with a blush on his face as he scratched the back of his head flustered. Cute.

"Meet me at Giovanni's tomorrow, 8pm. Don't be too late." You leaned into his ear at the last part, hearing [Friend]'s footsteps run out of the haunted house behind you along with their silly giggling. Your eyes shifted to them looking at you giddily, motioning with their hand to follow them. You turned back to the man, grasping his hand and placing a kiss atop of it.

You could see his face go red as you turned away, approaching [Friend] as they grabbed the candy bags they had dropped earlier and you walked off with them next to you.

It was only a few seconds after when you noticed them looking at you with squinted eyes and a smirk. You looked at them with an annoyed expression, stopping in your tracks and raising an eyebrow. "What?"

"Do you like that boy?? What's his name?!" You groaned at their questions, bringing a hand to your face. "I didn't get his name.."

Their face immediately dropped as they got annoyed with you. "You FORGOT to ask his name?!" They groaned and stomped their foot on the ground before returning to walking. "What did you say to him?"

"I just asked him out on a date, that's all." You looked at them nonchalantly. "Okay, when?" They crossed their arms, furrowing their brows and glancing up at you.

"Tomorrow at some classy-looking restaurant we passed by." They seemed to perk up at that, smirking at you. "Okay.. What're you gonna wear?" You paused, thinking. "Hmm... Well, considering it's a date and I want to at least seem like I want to impress him, I guess you can help me choose." You knew they could help you out with any attire choice.

They pumped their fist in the air excitedly. "Yes!" You chuckled softly at their antics. They then turned their head towards yours. "Why'd you ask him out anyway? I'm not judging, but... why a mortal?" They raised an eyebrow at you. You sighed, unsure why you did either.

"I guess I just, I dunno, I thought he was cute.. I went with whatever my heart wanted." You shrugged and averted your gaze, crossing your arms with a slight smile on your face as you thought about him or how silly the situation felt. [Friend] grinned softly. "Well, at least you did. Go for it I say." They nudge you softly with their elbow, making you chuckle softly.

The rest of the night you continued trick or treating until the humans wouldn't even answer their doors anymore, telling you that trick or treating was over. You returned home to your father who had been upset with you over leaving, but you knew he cared much less than he showed to.

---

i uhhh honestly dont know if i like this. like i love the concept of it just dont know if other people will really think this is neat

this is also getting a part 2 and probably a part 3

I was confused by some of the fan's surprise at P5 the Phantom X's recent trailers, but then I have to remind myself that not everyone is going to hear about whatever when news first drops of something. But, yeah this game was announced a while ago. I think back in Persona's 25th anniversary or before, I'm not sure, but it's already been a few years since.

Atlus, or more like P-Studio, is supervising the Chinese dev team on the game. Although it still doesn't make me all that excited for it. Ya' know, I wasn't surprised about a mobile game being developed when they first announced it. P5 is Atlus' cash cow right now. BUT, I was surprised to see it still alive! I completely forgot about it for a while, until I saw the new trailers!

Now, onto the cash cow of Atlus. Like, I love Atlus games, but for those who have been long time fans of them, we know they can and will be greedy (Just look at their fucking DLC pricings!). So, of course they are going to spend years on milking Persona 5, their highest international selling Persona AND Shin Megami Tensei game! Hell, I will not be surprised if there is still a few more P5 projects being planned or being developed!

. . . I doubt P6 will come out anytime soon. Am I being too pessimistic? Maybe. We just gotta wait and see. Wait and see for a lot of things. Yup, a lot of things.

OK my feelings on the pokemon presents

excited for BOTH animated side series they announced!! i love all the side animated content pokemon has been putting out recently i'm really excited for both the TCG thing and the paldea series i hope it's as good as twilight wings

i really need to play detective pikachu on 3ds before the new one comes out oopsies its like the only pokemon game i've never played but the sequel on switch looks charming even though it was very obviously meant to be a 3ds game that got stuck in dev hell and looks the part

as per usual don't give a single shit about all the mobile gacha garbage but it was nice to see nemona even though her english voice jumpscared me (used to her jp one in horizons)

in speaking of horizons very funny to be like pokemon horizons coming soon... as if i didn't already watch it in japanese. god the pokemon anime being on netflix sucks ass

disappointed about no announcement of a battle tower in the SV DLC... at this point im probably giving up hope. HOWEVER im very excited for the DLCs!!

unironically super excited for the fucking Selfie Stick and Room Customization and being able to change how i throw my pokeballs like YES GIVE ME MORE CUSTOMIZATION PELASE FOR THE LOVE OF G

the minigames with koraidon/miraidon look cute i hope they run okay

DIPPLIN AND WHATEVER THE NAME OF THE DURALADON EVOLUTION ARE SO GOOD HDSJKSFD

LONG RAIKOU (ALSO THE MECHA COBALION IS AWESOME)

hearing them refer to a pokemon as just. an ogre. like not an ogre pokemon. An Ogre. was really funny to me. ogres are canon to pokemon now

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING DISC POKEMON IS AHHHHHHHH

i love all the new character designs in the second DLC especially!! the BB league looks cool

oh yeah and the mewtwo raids were leaked but im really excited about the mew event stuff because my ribbon master mew can get the mightiest mark!! i enjoyed the CG animation they played to announce it as well. cool theyre giving you something to do with ur mew instead of just taking it and putting it in a box forever

everything about worlds makes me jealous im not there but my friend is buying me the lapras/pikachu plush cause hes in japan rn xoxo yay

that about summarizes all of my feelings. i think

beat the scarlet/violet DLC! i havent done some of the bigger postgame stuff yet, but ive beaten the main story, which is really the important part

ill leave my longer thoughts under the read more to avoid spoilers

honestly, i really like how they handled this DLC. i think part of me likes kitakami as a place more, but this is also a really nice little spot. the terarium is a cool place, the pokemon in it are cool, etc.

what i REALLY liked was the story, as well. ive talked about this with a lot of other people, but SV's main theme seems to be getting yourself too lost in your own desires, so much so that you don't realize what happens, and this continues that. ambition is a great thing, but pushed too far, it can put others at risk. i think kieran's character is fantastic in this regard. it genuinely makes sense, and it's no surprise he ends up the way he does, and his desire to look up to the player becomes warped and corrupted because he wants to be better, he wants to achieve the dreams he's seeing the player reach, etc.

it's really interesting stuff. i really, REALLY like it, honestly, and i love how they handled briar in the way, too. briar literally gets so invested and excited about terastialization research that she's putting *three children* at risk. she actively realizes this and apologizes, and i like that they highlighted this. it's a neat theme, and i think the DLC tackles it really well

like the lore and extra stuff introduced is cool, but i feel like always, the character writing shines really well here. it's nice to see a bit of old kieran peek back out, him falling into old habits, but then we see him lose himself again as SOON as a sliver of a chance for him to be better than the MC arrives. for that, i'm a huge fan, i think they did a really good job there

also, big fan of BBQs. scratches that "i want to do PLA tasks forever" itch just enough to be satisfying

the one thing i wasn't a fan of was the battle difficulty, however. now, keep in mind, after asking my friends for some help i WAS able to adjust my team and have strategies to beat them and all that, but MAN, this is WAY too drastic of a leap in difficulty compared to base game, IMO. it'd be one thing if this was optional, but this is the main story.

now, keep in mind, i don't mind if they want to make pokemon games harder. i think it's a good thing. challenge and all that. but when base SV wasnt... ANYTHING like this, it is VERY jarring for them to like, legitimately start using competitive movesets and strategies and all that, without so much as a means to prepare you for it. i feel like there's gonna be a lot of people who just get hard walled by some of the battles, and idk how i really feel about it.

i AM glad this is here, but, i don't think it shouldve been the DEFAULT. some kind of toggle or even having these be post-game battles wouldve been great. but having it be the main difficulty scaling feels really bizarre in comparison to SV's base difficulty. hell, kitakami wasn't nearly as bad as this. it's a leap that is very, VERY drastic.

(and yeah, i did get fucked up bad early on, but keep in mind this is coming from someone who first tried kieran, who is the hardest battle in the DLC. so it's not like i was just playing poorly all the time)

also stellar as a tera type is kinda just whatever i feel. idk not really as interesting as it seemed to be. it's cool lore wise, but even then it's just like... eh, neat, i guess LOL

all in all, i really liked indigo disk. it wasn't the most mindblowing thing ever, and i feel like i MAYBE liked teal mask more, but honestly, it's not by a huge margin. it was pretty good, i had a good time. i'd say it won't win over anybody who already didnt like base SV, but it's worth if you like the base game because it improves on a lot. honestly, i think i like the DLC more than i do the base game, and i already liked SV, lmao

Random: A gamer’s diary entry for October 2023!

While I finish writing, and playing, my next backlog games I’m excited to add to the wishlist ‘Little Goody Two Shoes’. Which looks like it’s going to be getting a physical release. (Which I won’t be picking this game up until the physical drops. I already know I’ll like it.)

One of my favorite YouTube channels called Nostalook worked on the trailer (and I think the in game cutscenes as well) and their work is stunning as usual. It really captures the 90s anime look. It deeply reminds me of Princess Maker.

Also it’s a shoujo yuri. Female romancable characters only! (And they’re all so ✨ PRETTY ✨) I can’t explain how HAPPY that makes me. I just hope it stays in an innocent direction.

You know, because in majority yuri isn’t made for women. 😐

I get it, but at the same time I feel locked out of the content because it’s so obviously not for me. But that’s a complaint for a different post on a different day! Makes me wonder if men feel the same way about yaoi.

I was very bad this month. There were a lot of physical sales. And then my preorders for new games rolled in. I always prioritize my physical games over my… “digital” games, so those will be in the front of my backlog!

Let’s take a look at what I picked up! (I paid full price for nothing on this list. I am wickedly good at finding deals and coupons. Which upon review I will attempt to pass onto you!):

Traumatarium

Dredge

Omori

FaeFarm

Inescapable

Sonic Superstars

Coffee Talk 2

Moon A Remix RPG

I’m already playing a few of these games, so my reviews on those should be out next week!

I decided to skip this month’s two biggest releases altogether until about next year. I want the GOTY Spider-Man 2 when it comes with all of the DLC for $20. The first one was amazing. I’m just willing to wait on it. Which is a similar story for Mario Wonder. I mostly use the fall season to get all the titles I’ve been wanting for a freaking sick deal. Why should I have to pay full price?

The older I get, the more I feel like I appreciate weird games and indie titles more anyway. I feel like those other projects have the freedom to take more aesthetic risks than the big companies. Not because of the creatives inside (They tend to always have good ideas), but the stockholders. 🙄

I adore some of these triple A titles to my core, but I crave to see more new things too. Different things.

Dave The Diver is a good example. That seems rad. I like ocean games. I like that we get more of them now. I’m gonna wait and see if that one gets a physical as well. You collect fish to go back to your restaurant to make sushi? Sign me up!

Don’t even get me started on Limited Run’s releases this month.

While ‘Persona 4’ and ‘This Way Madness Lies’ are no brainers for me; I was EXTREMELY on the fence about ‘Persona 3 Portable’. (I did pick it up reluctantly)

The remake of Persona 3 will be upon us soon and I don’t know if I’ll want to play P3P again. The problem lies in the fact that most of these games become much more expensive later. Buying it on “launch” from Limited Run usually IS the cheaper option.

That shit annoys me so bad. I don’t like picking up games for value. But because the game might be value I have to be ahead of the scalpers and pay for it at its maybe cheapest.

I collect games because I like ‘em. I want to play them and love them. I want to use my stuff. I don’t give a fuck about the “value”. I respect the folks that do care about that stuff but I plain just don’t.

But that’s also just kinda life. Not much can be done about other people. You can only truly control yourself. 🙄

Overall October has been an exceptionally excellent month for gaming! We’ve had so much good stuff come out this fall season. I’m excited for next month as well! Super Mario RPG will be making its re-debut and I can’t wait to talk about that one!

LOOOONG fnaf sb ruin post here. lots of criticism and thoughts no one cares about, and of course spoilers.

take it all with a grain of salt, because while i know a lot about the story, i'm a 23 year old that got into the franchise 8 years ago and i havent actively kept up with the lore since fnaf 6.

and because in researching more for this post i found out there's key lore points in the fucking books and i'm not reading a glorified manual to understand the story of a game i paid 40 bucks for.

i want to be kinder to fnaf sb ruin, but i still feel disappointed.

from a gameplay standpoint, it was, of course, a VASTLY improved game. this is a tumblr post not a review, so i'll keep it short, but by god did the dlc actually have intention and vision that the original lacked, with a lot less bugs (more than i find acceptable, but the bar was low here so i'm taking the W). the core gameplay mechanics actually felt like they belonged in the game and made the experience better, and this free dlc went a long way to making sb's $40 price tag closer to worth it.

the atmosphere was stunning to me- much creepier and like it actually belonged in a horror game. the free roam aspect being less painfully redundant and more linear was a great improvement for player experience. the AR mechanic was maybe a touch cluttered, but i still loved it and was glad to see creative ideas implemented without obvious scope creep.

story wise... well, i'm quite sure i must be missing something. after sb i had so many questions, and i think like one of them is answered. there's something to be said about fnaf sticking to its guns and keeping a lot of lore up to speculation, but i haven't fully grasped what the fuck is happening since pizzeria sim.

it's probably a bit soon after release to be shitting on the story but uh. i still don't know who tf gregory is or his relevancy to the plot. i don't know who cassie is or her relevancy to the plot. i liked her character but it felt like a skeleton of a story. every relationship felt too threadbare to justify character actions (although retrospectively there is something to be said about the actions of children being impulsive). and while it's not inherently bad, i personally don't love every piece of her backstory being some one off line that is never explored (i.e. paraphrasing "this faz wrench is like my dads!" and "maybe your friends will come next time").

i was fascinated by the mimic as an antagonist, and relieved to see anyone but springtrap, but having to google who he was and why he randomly changed forms in the scooper ending (??? did i miss something?) to understand the dlc kind of killed a lot of excitement for me. really great design though, and even if it was a bit obvious i enjoyed the whole mimicking gregory thing.

as for the endings: i'm a bit confused as to why gregory would frantically try to save cassie, only to attempt to kill her off. i'm also not sure why he knows about the mimic in the first place. i have my own theories, sure, but speculation doesn't mean much when the concrete scenes we got gave us nothing. i really wanted more information on gregory and frustratingly ended with more goddamned questions. the scooper ending was cool, even if it confused the shit outta me. fredbear ending was uh. actually very creepy to me and probably my favorite of the bunch. the dichotomy of the cheery music and graphics vs cassie's terrified breathing was creepy af and i wish that wasn't just the joke ending.

i'm losing steam here so i'll try to wrap up. all in all, i went into ruin mostly blind and was really hoping for any kind of wrap up on who gregory is (adding here that im now aware that's in the books, but i really really hate the idea of supplemental paid reading for a paid video game), and while i don't hate cassie, i was a little disappointed to see any expansion on the original story. the gameplay was such a different and improved experience i can't believe it came from the same studio.

and despite me absolutely ripping into this thing, i'm really excited to see more from steel wool and scott. help wanted 2 should be a much less disjointed experience, with some really cool tie ins to vanny (if i understand the lore at all)

EDIT: I FORGOT ABOUT THE VANNI SYSTEM. the bunny enemy was very fucking well designed, made complete sense with the story while also preventing the player from staying in AR too long, and fixed a lot of what made the original animatronic AIs feel extremely janky. that creepy bunny guy takes the game from like. a 5/10 to a 7/10.

if you made it this far i'm sorry you read all that and i hope your day is as wonderful as you are, much love.

I'm Leaving Payday. For Good.

For real.

Hi there. For those who may have seen me around the place, I've been pretty vocal and angry about PAYDAY 2 since update 237. An update that overhauled the matchmaking system to use the worst EOS implementation I have ever seen that requires godforsaken, outdated, and deprecated friend codes to party up with people for the sakes of cross-play. In 2023. Yep, we're on the Wii apparently!

The update broke Linux support, a port the developers were more than happy to update and maintain...until March 2023, where something clearly changed internally, and tried to make a pre-emptive cover story of the Crude Awakening breaking the port. Until it was made pretty clear that, upon release of U237, that it was because of their EOS implementation. I'm not saying coincidences aren't possible, but Starbreeze have lied so much in the past that I do not give them that benefit of doubt anymore.

This is the company that decided to not give Linux users the common bloody courtesy of keeping the port updated until the end. Two updates away from the end of life. Think about that, really hard.

This alone broke all trust I had for Starbreeze. But their next moves really infuriated me:

PAYDAY 3 is trying to implement almost every AAA cliché in the book; Post-launch microtransactions to avoid legal ratings, five separate editions for the game on launch, separately purchasable DLC, a season pass (of varying sizes tied to the editions), and an fucking always online connection. With no offline mode.

And do you know what the sad part is? About all this? I'm genuinely excited for the stealth improvements PAYDAY 3 has to offer. I got to play on the Beta briefly and I was impressed by how nuanced it all was. It felt good to play.

But I am not touching a game with so much monetisation, that treats their audience like money mules that will buy anything, and especially for their prior history in this sector. Crimefest 2015 comes to mind.

For me, I'm going to still be around in other non-PAYDAY-focused servers, but my time on the Modworkshop, PAYDAY 2, and other similar discords has to come to a close. My heart has been shattered by recent events, and all I'm left with now is a pit in my stomach anytime I think about the game series, and an unwillingness to play or mod the game I once loved so dearly. A game I once praised as a great example of how to support a game on Linux, for righting it's wrongs, and for keeping up interest with community events. Now, I'm no longer interested in even Modding PAYDAY 3 now.

It's a damn shame too, because Unreal 4 is kinda my wheelhouse.

Now, I'm under no illusion that i'm in any way an influential figure in the community. I'm reasonably sure the moment I post this on MWS and other places it'll be forgotten about within the week. The shelf-life of the Internet is small, after all. But as small as I am, I should still matter to Starbreeze. And if I don't matter, well, that's not a relationship I want to have with any company.

It hurts me to divorce myself from a game I want to play, but it'll kill me if I continue playing it or its upcoming sequel.

I still have one more mod for Payday 2 to be posted, and that'll be out soon. But after that releases. I'm done. Gone. Finito.

I have tried to remain positive over these few months, but all roads seem to lead to Starbreeze ignoring my various pleas, and are all paved with their bad intentions. So all I can say to you all is this: Do not fall for their traps and mind games. They are not to be trusted: Ever. That sounds cynical, and it sounds conspiratorial, but Starbreeze's behaviour, despite all the managerial shake-ups (or perhaps because of it) has remained the same para-socially abusive company as they were in 2015.

I hope to see you all in a game that isn't going to shatter my trust so badly. Goodbye, and farewell.

I would love to learn like actual info about ji-woon if u wanna share...

well maybe i do wanna share......

ji-woon hak stands out from most of the killer's roster!! it does with the fact that a lot of his cosmetics are bright as hell AND hes a Kpop idol. Kinda tracts from dbd's usual mo when making new killers, esp cuz he's one of the more modern ones.

a lot of people don't like him for that reason but it's why I REALLY like him, he's a bit silly on his own but yun-jin (his manager, and survivor counterpart for the chapter dlc he was released in) is the real star of the chapter. A survivor killer duo who knew each other before being taken by the fog and I'll never shut up how fucking GREAT their dynamic is.

He loves being the center of attention, obvious in his base lore but touched upon in his tome which imo fleshes him out perfectly to be more than a cartoonish villain to be the conflict in yun-jin's story (which he was already fine as).

Music being such a central part of both their characters and the way the horrible industry shapes both of them. To yun-jin climbing up the social ladder by learning to put whats deemed best first over ethics and ji-woon being made for it.

ANYWAYS ji-woon sorta grew up like that, wanting to be appreciated soon turning into a constant need to be cheered for and adored, his dad's an interesting background to this since he's a huge enabler (the base lore making him let ji-woon do all sorts of knife tricks helping with their restaurants entertainment. taking him to his first musical concert and telling him he was destined to be onstage)

Really fucked up but fascinating anecdote shared in the tome is during a kindergarten show and tell he was so excited to share his flute-playing, as you do when you're like 5, only for the rest of his class and teacher to fawn over some other kid's pet hamster. His performance ignored when they passed the hamster around the others for them to put, it was in his hands. With no emotion whatsoever he squeezed until there was screaming.

↑Though that's not to say he doesn't appreciate other people's talent, in fact he loves it in his own fucked way. A weird objectification comes with seeing them as instruments, pedestals to boost his own works in a way.

So Yun-jin discovers his talent- and! as a producer at the record label mightee one- recruits him into flopping boy group no-spin. He practically boosted their ratings cuz after all she's amazing at spotting talent.

Despite his great fair-share of the fans he's always wanted, he doesn't like it being shared between his other bandmates. One day though the studio they were at caught fire. the rest of his bandmates trapped in screaming for help.

Know that he never did anything it just happened but at that moment he sorta froze, listening to their screams and please for help, frantically repeating his name. It was glorious, yes, almost like praise!

When help arrived they saw him at the scene, looking like he'd been crying and he told em he tried all he could. Yun-jin was also the most distraught cuz holy shit her group just died also the studios in shambles but in all her grief she decided to take her star and make him a solo-act, the trickster!!

With his new identity he spun a whole sob-story and gained even more notoriety, all yun-jin but he also started killing people.

Yea basically found great pleasure in hearing pained screams, learning different methods of torture to wring the sounds he wanted, his first kill had him dissatisfied until he figured to record the torture sessions audio and mix them into his own music. Hence why he really does sorta see other people as tools for his art.

I went on about how insane i was about him but SPECIFICALLY YUN-JIN BECAUSE MY MORALLY-GREY QUEEN. MY EVERYTHING SHES SO MY GOD! WHEN A STRING OF GRUESOME MURDERS FOLLOWED THE TRICKSTER'S TOURS HER FIRST THOUGHT WAS WHAT IF JI-WOONS IN DANGER LMAO.

BUT BUTTTTT THE FUCKING ok when she starts to put things together she comes to denial, growing up in poverty, being unable to become an idol herself because she's just not the face the industry was looking for. Music was also all she had to pull her through she found her true calling in finding the faces and voices fit for it, in all these tedious years she can't let her magnum opus fuck this over by connecting to this controversy

So it's this hilarious cat and mouse dynamic with them, psychic mind battle. Ji-woon knows with his status he could get away a little easy but he's not STUPID and their shared tome works really well cuz it also delves into Yun-jin's perspective. She's not stupid also and they play this mind-game of how to get around this and it's the fucking BEST ugh.

I actually got a bit disturbed reading his base lore which is a bit silly now saying it but good lird months ago first reading it still hits. He's such a silly guy and he's so fucking terrible and Yun-jin's terrible but in a way where you sympathize with her dwindling mental health in having to deal with this. I suggest reading both their base lores even without firsthand game knowledge bc it's how I first experienced it and it's sooooooo nice. so awesome.

They were swept up by the entity at the same time, but i like to believe it's Yun-jin's anger at all being taken from her like this, Ji-woon's a fine killer but she's the real star

Anyways as for gameplay i couldn't say since i don't have em yet dhdkdkfoof, though Ji-woon's a ranged killer, able to spam throwing knives to mangle a survivor and while i think that could be fun while playing as him, playing against him is more ehhhh. Yun-jin has some amazing perks though, really reflects her self-serving character AND they're fun for that reason

And as characters themselves they're amazing cuz it's so easy to hate and love them, for me it's more of endless adoration, support women's rights AND women's wrongs i say. Though Yun-jin is more understandable. hope this makes sense Yun-jin is my wife and my beloved and my babygirl and Ji-woon's my pet freak my little princess and the entity's realm, while letting him get away with murder, starves him of an audience and THATS why it's his own hell and not Yun-jins

Tuesday 17th October 2023, 02:45am

I really should be asleep right now. But I can't seem to get comfortable and when I do, my brain just won't shut up. So here I am, writing to you. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I don't know why. I think I've been missing you a bit. Is it strange to miss you? I don't know. I'm sorry if it is.

I really hope your blood tests came back okay and everything is all well with your health. Do you know when you'll have surgery yet? I was thinking about that the other day and hoping I hadn't missed it, so I could wish you good luck for it. I'm really glad to hear that you've found a job you can do that will turn into a career too and that you can get the training for it. Has that happened yet? Or are you still waiting?

I knew you were thinking of leaving the band, and that's okay. If it's ran it's course for you, then I'm sure your bandmates will be understanding, especially if they're your friends. I really hope the last two shows went well and that you enjoyed playing them at least and I hope the last show you do next month is good too. Will it be near your birthday? Because I know that's coming up really soon too. It's the week after I get back from another comic con, I go away on 17th November and come home on the 19th, so I'm just gone for the weekend. This time it's in Wales, I've only been there once when I was a kid.

Aw no poor Chonky :( I really really hope she's okay now. It sucks when our pets get sick, because they don't have a voice to tell you exactly what's wrong, so it can be pretty worrying. It's a good job that owners can usually tell though when something's wrong and what it could be, because they know their pet well. But it sounds like you did the right thing for her and I hope she's feeling much better now. I'm sure she loved having you look after her and care for her and make sure she was all okay.

Don't worry about streaming and stuff, you can come back to it whenever you feel like it, whenever you have the time. I look forward to the next time you do, I've missed chilling in your chat and just.. hanging out. I liked it before. I actually was playing some of the Cyberpunk DLC myself the other week, it was quite fun haha. But I definitely think I need to start upgrading my PC soon. Definitely a new fan and CPU and maybe a secondary SSD. I would upgrade my GPU but those are so expensive and my 1080 still serves me well at the moment.

I'm sorry it's been a little bit since I last wrote, I've just been busy with work mostly. I haven't had much going on or much exciting happening. Apart from going over to Belfast to surprise my best friend, that was quite cool. We went to another convention, I just booked a flight and a hotel and turned up. She had no clue I was coming and was really surprised when I got there haha. I literally just went over for like.. 24 hours. I'd felt bad cause I had to cancel a trip to go see her at the end of this month just due to work and not being able to get the holidays and stuff. So I was pretty upset and just wanted to do something kinda.. fun and spontaneous? Idk

Ian Somerhalder walked by me too and didn't even notice it, it wasn't until my best friend pointed him out and I was like "oh shit" hahaha. But I was more excited about Peter Facinelli and Jackson Rathbone from Twilight, I used to love that when I was like.. 14. I would have met Ian and Paul too, but it was far too expensive for me. Maybe some day I will. I recently started watching The Vampire Diaries again, since it's spooky season and all and I haven't watched it for years. So I've went right back to the start, I'm at the end of season 1 right now where Isobel is in it (I hate Isobel. And I fucking hate John Gilbert too)

It was also my dad's birthday on 8th October. That was a pretty hard day. I was quite sad and upset all day, but I watched a lot of my dad's favourite programs and stuff and tried to distract myself. Red Dwarf, Monty Python, The Mighty Boosh (which me and my dad actually started watching together) and some Billy Connolly. I also listened to some of his favourite music too. And I got a clootie dumpling from a local bakery (it's like a Christmas pudding kind of but not as rich), coincidentally it was the same bakery me and my dad and grandma and grandpa would go to, it was just down the street from my grandma's house. My grandma used to make him one for his birthday every year when he was a kid, instead of a birthday cake because it was cheaper. And he loved it. It was one of his favourite things. He'd always ask me to bring him some down when I'd go down and visit him in Nottingham, because you can't really get it anywhere in England and to make a proper one yourself, it's a bit of a pain and really easy to mess up if you don't do certain things right lol. When he was in the nursing home, I remember one day the chef had came to talk to him and asked him about food he liked and stuff. He was telling me that they'd asked him what kind of birthday cake he wanted and my dad immediately asked if he could have a dumpling. The chef agreed and said they absolutely could do that and I remember my dad being so so happy. His face was just.. completely lit up, big wide smiles, all excited. I think that's what made me extra sad, because he had been so excited for his birthday and his dumpling. He really liked the simple things in life, honestly.

So even though he wasn't here, he got his dumpling. I went out early on the Saturday morning and picked it up, had a chat with the guy who owns the bakery (who actually weirdly recognised me and asked me who my family were, so I told him and he immediately remembered me from when I was a kid, telling me about how he remembered I'd come in with my grandma to get the rolls and the papers, how I'd come in with my dad for a yum yum or a strawberry tart lol. I unfortunately had to break the news of my dad's passing to him, he didn't know. And he was quite sympathetic. He was a nice guy, just as friendly as I remembered when I was a kid. I'll attach a picture of the dumpling to this so you can see. I stuck a candle in it and everything for him. Sang him happy birthday and cried while doing so. But I knew he'd be nearby. I knew he'd be standing right behind me hugging me while I did. God just writing this is making me tear up a little bit.

I've started some grief counselling too. I think they are really helping me. I'm getting it through the hospice who helped with dad's end of life care, even though the were only involved for.. well a few days.. they've given me more support that some family have (my mother included. I'm still at odds with her. She's done more horrible and nasty shit since we last spoke and.. honestly I'm just seeing her for her true colours now, realising that I've been gaslit, emotionally neglected and manipulated by her for a very long time). My boss has been more than happy to allow me to attend these sessions, because they know in the long run it's going to help me and isn't going to affect my performance at work or anything. I'm actually doing really well at work at the moment, even considering that it is incredibly stressful and emotionally/mentally taxing at times, but I've had nothing but good reports in my weekly catch ups with my manager so far. So I think it's safe to say they can see that I am more than capable of doing the job. I just wanna try get through my probation and then move to a different department. Something that doesn't involve talking to customers lol.

Gran also got out of hospital, which is a good thing. She's back home and still resting and stuff, trying to get her strength back. She was in there for like.. just over a month. Unfortunately we don't think shes gonna be able to get any more chemo though, which sucks. But we're hoping her oncologist will still be able to do surgery for her, we just have to keep trying to get her strength up and make sure she's eating well and we're getting her walking and stuff. Even if it's just to the kitchen and back or around the garden. Small steps. It hopefully will make a big difference. I've been making sure to go see her at least once a week, even just for a couple hours at the very least.

I don't have much else going on right now. It's just work and looking forward to next month when I go to Wales. I don't think I have anything incredibly exciting planned for Halloween, which sucks, but I'll be working this year unfortunately. Maybe I can just relax and watch some spooky movies after work, eat some terrible sweets and enjoy myself a little. Oh and I'm on some new medication too actually, I'm not sure if it's working yet, I don't feel anything different. This is for a physical thing, not a mental thing. But it's nothing too serious, just something I need to like.. manage symptoms of.

I really hope you're doing well, E. I hope everything's going good and that your health is good and Chonky is good and work is starting and surgery is getting scheduled and all the good things. I know it must be getting warmer there too, because it's definitely getting fucking colder here haha. I've been absolutely frozen in the mornings for a couple days now, until I turn the heat on again and warm up. I think it's gonna be a reaaaaally cold winter this year which is unfortunate.

I really hope to hear from you soon. And I hope I've got more exciting things to tell you next time.

N x

"I saw you in a dream then it came to an end, I wonder if you'll come visit me again"

(the selfie was me at the con in Northern Ireland. It was SO fucking hot, I was boiling all day. But I still looked cute I think.. maybe haha)

@cheapcheapfaker said: I NOTICED THE LACK OF POMPADOUR AS WELL. Not sure if its my perpetual fallout brain rot but it’s severely lacking. I get that there’s mesh differences but idk. How different ARE the two heads where it’s that bad….And why was that a design choice to begin with … I should probably say sorry for infecting you with the brain rot but i can’t, it’s too good of a game. Not sure how far you are but i hope you enjoy it! DLC should hopefully be coming out this year soon too

RIGHT? honestly i’m deep in final fantasy 7 remake hell and i was like oh shit fem v has a hairstyle that would be PERFECT for roche but alas, for some reason only fem v has that hairstyle. and right? that’s what i’m wondering. like i did ask a few people and head sizes shouldn’t be that different... maybe like, an inch or half an inch of difference? on average?

AND NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE. i am really enjjoying it! i got a powerful smart pistol and i’m like. oh fuck. this is the best. i’m currently in the middle of act 2! i’m going through it pretty slow, doing all the sidequests and gigs and stuff i can

and hell yeah i’m excited about the DLC. not sure what it’ll involve but i love dlc most of the time

i DO especially enjoy how you can just dress so fucking ugly in this game. i personally cannot do it to myself for long periods of time (i have outfits that are very tame for the most part, rn i’m literally just running around in yorinobu’s clothes with a kang tao manganese combat ocuset and fucking love it

but i do love how everyone in this game dresses like an absolute dipshit. society would be greatly improved if we all just dressed like we had never heard of the concept of having a decent sense of fashion and wandered around in neon booty shorts and neon cowboy boots of a painfully clashing color combination. i think we should all get to dress like dipshits

So the Nintendo Direct…

Here are a list of games I’m excited for:

Splatoon 3: I’ve never really played a Splatoon game, but I always been interested in them so honestly I can’t wait for this summer!

Kirby and the Forgotten Land: Oh boy do I have a lot to say! First of all, it took me awhile to get used to the whole “mouthful” mechanic because car Kirby threw me so off lol. Second of all, you can upgrade the old copy abilities! It’s so god damn cool! AND DID YOU SEE THE DRAGON KIRBY ONE!? MY BOI IS EVEN MORE BADASS THAN I COULD EVER IMAGINE!!! Over all I’m fucking ecstatic for this game! Also like… King Dedede was their for a second but he looked very ragged. I’m actually starting to think it’s Shadow Dedede. That would be very cool if it was Shadow Dedede!

The Portal games: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Ahem Excuse me. As soon as I saw that Companion Cube appear I lost my mind. The Portal games are very near and dear to my heart mainly because I grew up with them and to see that their coming to the Nintendo Switch is very… amazing to me. I may or may not have teared up a little too lol. Also since Portal is now on a Nintendo console… Chell for the next smash game.

Cuphead DLC: Finally… after many delays… it’s here! I can’t wait to get my hands on it and play as Ms. Chalice! Also speaking of Cuphead… I also can’t wait for the show to come out either!!! It’s a good year to be a Cuphead fan.

alrighty halo infinite thoughts (spoilers ahead)

the whispering scenes were the best. mixed feelings abt the weapon being called cortana going forward. glad that chief feels like he can forgive himself but there needs to be more there (hopefully dlc/books can do that...). gameplay was fun and the exploration stuff is cool, just wish there was more forerunner things to research. really hoping the endless are the precursors and we get some time traveling nonsense later. EXCITED ABT OFFENSIVE BIAS

then.... there's a lot of little things that I can't tell are plot holes or actual things to be concerned about... like the pilot, who’s supposedly a civilian engineer, who also knows how to fly a pelican (?), or why chief was floating for six months. or really the lack of explanation for what exactly cortana did to herself to scatter across the four winds like that. not really any satisfactory closure on why cortana just abruptly became pseudo-didact either, other than she’s sorry for doing it (she has nothing to apologize for actually).

overall I think It could be a step in the right direction, but I'm just wondering what direction that is. I don’t really know what to think about the weapon. the unsc would not accept her just coming back to work w chief, when they eventually pick him up, bc of the created and bc of her origins. and w her being a copy stripped down to the bolts, she's not really designed for open warfare like cortana was - it would put a lot of undue stress on her and reasonably end in rampancy, sooner.

also I think for all the scenes that cortana has expressing her love for chief, there should be some reciprocation, and especially bc infinite has so many scenes where the chief just... Can’t handle things. like we’re at the point in this franchise where chief either dies or changes his whole MO - I know rationally after all this that there's no reason for cortana to ever come back, really, but also I want chief to be selfish, and I do want him to find her. not even directly - it could be open-ended. it could be as easy as chief not going back w the UNSC when they show up to zeta.

idk again there were a lot of parts I was happy with - chief’s characterization, and cortana’s redemption. it was the sense of mystery and intrigue I was hoping for, but it didn't really, again, clear up what happened w 5 and the created. I know it’s a cheap cop-out, but literally just saying “it wasn't really our cortana who did all that” would've been so easy. instead they just kind of continued it, albeit half-heartedly.

I'd even be interested in an explanation that explored Cortanas genesong.. how she essentially did what she was programmed to do by the librarian, it just didn't work right bc the mantle, inherently, is fucked up. address it like that! especially bc of all the mentions of chief and Cortanas programming...

again I liked it, I'm gonna replay soon for the campaign, but. there wasn’t enough. it felt like things were missing. and as sweet as that final cutscene was... idk. I miss my wife tails I miss her

So, Return to Hell was an absolute rollercoaster of emotions and I couldn't have asked for a better ending to the season three dlc missions.

SPOILER WARNING BY THE WAY!

Holy shit was this season a wild ride and with an absolute banger of an ending all I can say is well done rebellion you pulled it out the bag and held it high, I was so happy with everything and just my god its really hard to put down everything I'm so enthralled I can barely think straight.

I remember when the trailer dropped and I was so overcome with both excitement and sadness at seeing what the dlc entailed, I was so happy to see schweiger alive but devastated to see what was happening to him and originally I thought we were going to sacrifice him to help Umbra which terrified me, thank fuck I was wrong I dont think I could handle hurting my boy.

The intro was excellent, it really felt like distressing and that this was truly a moment of despair the way bruno spoke of it was absolutely amazing and I couldn't wait to get stick in. And when it finally gave way to the gameplay the opening area was absolutely stunning!

The way it's so familiar yet so foreign, like I'd seen it before but it had been so twisted that it was unrecognisable, lava around every corner and debris floating as if frozen in time the ground and walls cracked and crumbling and the fiery hues made this a fantastic yet haunting sight I hadn't even begun playing and I already fell in love with it.

When I finally moved on and the Baron began his tirade about the state of hell and how it was shaped and molded to fit the subconscious mind of schweiger I was shocked and saddened, to think that this was schweiger's fractured mind was frightening, all his guilt, fear, anger, confusion, sadness became reality and hell took its horrifying form filled with endless undead. I also found it really cool to see events play out from schweiger's perspective, meat locker, hell base and terror lab all playing out in schweiger's memories allowing us a glimpse in to everything that happened to him. He was betrayed so many times, I don't blame him at all for turning on us in deeper than hell, the amount of cruelty he suffered would drive anyone insane.

Being captured and forced to research the occult without any understanding of why, being tricked in to activating the relic allowing hitler to activate plan Z, working your hardest to try and make the world right then have your team infiltrated by nazi bastards who push you in to a hell tower and forcefully tear you from this plane of existence and left to rot in hell. Just when you think you can finally escape you're confronted with the fact you can not leave, only your closest comrades can leaving you in hell against everyone's will, then a voice manipulates you in to believing you were betrayed by your friends you're lied to and tricked in to believing this voice is your only friend who makes you do horrific rituals.

I remember how horrific I felt hearing this and then when Umbra revealed that he did all of this so he could break schweiger's will so he could steal his body I was filled with rage. Rebellion were amazing at putting emotion in to this one I genuinely went through constant emotional shifts realising that everything we had done up to this point was planned by Umbra and that everything we had done was only to fuel his plans. It was never schweiger's fault it was umbras and that knocked me on my arse.

The gameplay was a lot of fun, one of the best parts was that absolutely everything was randomised! The main sections of the map where always switched around no matter how many times you play it at first I went meat locker, hell base then terror lab then my second time I went hell base, terror lab then meat locker! I was shocked when everything cane out of order but it fits so well with everything! Schweiger's mind is so badly fractured that when hell took form as schweiger's subconscious not even hell itself could keep things in order.

I genuinely adore how the old familiar faces of these maps are destroyed, twisted and corrupted they are what we have seen before but warped till they look like different maps entirely, with so much more to explore in some areas it really gives you a sense of walking through broken memories like piecing together a memory Efram barely has a grip on anymore.

I loved how enemies were randomised too, getting attacked by a screamer around the corner then next time you go there prepared for a screamer you get blown up by suiciders or slaughtered by skeletons or an elite or in my favourite case being attacked by zombie alpha squad members! When zombie me jumped out and attacked I was so confused I didnt have time to respond when zombie jun popped out and killed me it was fucking awesome!

All our favourite enemy variations are here too, vampire creepers, electric suiciders, armored commanders, skeletons etc which really made for a really tough but good fight, never knowing what variation was coming to get you made everything even more fun.

And with the spitters now having a variant that spat magma it made what was usually an annoying inconvenience an actual proper threat and I love that so fucking much, maybe the spitters aren't so horrible after all.

That's a lie I still fucking hate them but oh well!

Once we successfully complete all three areas we now return to the main area with a very pissed off Umbra and schweiger who although conscious is barely alive. As soon as we arrive back to were we began we are immediately attacked and dragged off to an unknown place that we only know as the void as coined by Umbra.

Let me tell you when I say the void is creepy I fucking mean it, the void is of course pitch black you cant see anything not even your flash light does anything to the surrounding darkness, all you see when you spawn is the pitch black and eframs body of a slab surrounded by candles with Umbra looking over us and you really get the the sense of "holy shit, this is it!"

I genuinely adored the design of the void, the fact you only ever see your surroundings when a split second of bright red lighting strikes and even then you only see the faint outline of distant places, walking through the endless river of blood that stops you to a near snail's pace while fending of oncoming dead is genuinely spectacular! Holy fuck did rebellion pull it out the bag this round!

Just when you think you're about to have to do something to the incapacitated schweiger, Edie finally fucking shows up and does something useful for once, breaking schweiger out of his trance and giving him enough power to fend for himself when she realises Umbra has no defences! Thank fuck because now we know how to finally end The Baron and let me tell you I couldn't be happier to get the chance at killing the bastard.

The fights were challenging and had me cornered a few times and I'll admit I died a couple times but it was absolutely worth it, there was so much going on but it wasnt overbearing, with how large the areas you had to fight the hordes in were it made the fucking insane amounts of zombies absolutely balanced, I never felt like it was impossible but never felt it was too easy either just the right balance of insanity. And to make it even better I get to listen to schweiger shit talk the Baron as we help Efram regain strength while weakening Umbra.

Listening to Umbra beg and plead for mercy was great, it really felt like we were overpowering hell itself, no matter what Umbra threw our way it did absolutely nothing and listening to schweiger come to terms with what he's done and immediately work towards redemption by putting down Umbra was heartwarming. We were the winners not Umbra.

Then finally we get to what I've been wanting to do since the beginning of the DLC, after two whole hours I finally got to put an end to the Baron, activating that ending cutscene was so satisfying and I got to put down my controller and watch.

I'll admit I was confused when Umbea sprung back to life and actually attacked, where hitler failed to stop us during hell machine Umbra full pounced, he was going to take us with him and for a second I absolutely believed we were going to die with him, the fuck tries ripping our soul out rendering us absolutely useless. Its schweiger that saves us, pulling us away from Umbra then eviscerating the fuck out of him with ease and with that The Baron himself is dead, finally the tyrant is dead and everything we had worked towards was finally put to rest.

Just before that scene ends, we see schweiger smile! He's actually happy for once, free from Umbras grip, he's faced his fears and insecurities and in the end was the one who saved us and destroyed The Baron. To see him smile was one of the greatest things ever and I'm so glad we finally got to see that.

In last few moments of the ending, we wake up on the side of a cliff with Dr schweiger by our side and as the camera zooms out we see nothing but an endless sea of lava and I'm left thinking.

What the fuck is Projekt Ragnarok?

I just finished AC Valhalla – A résumé.

I finished the "main story" of Assassin's Creed Valhalla. These are some thoughts of mine. (This was saved in my drafts for two weeks or so. But my stance hasn't altered. Actually, I'm even angrier now.)

Disclaimer: This obviously contains some spoilers here and there. You've been warned, but tbh, who even cares about the story at this point. Also, I know I don't have many followers, and I suspect none of the few that will come across this post will actually be interested in it. That said, if you like reading people's rants about things, regardless of your interest in video games, this might be something for you. I just needed to get this out of my system somewhere. This is a rant (well, vent? I'm venting, I guess) written as it came to my mind. There's no real structure, I think. Sorry for that in advance.

After Origins, which I thoroughly enjoyed and actually played again between Odyssey and Valhalla, and Odyssey, which's name was perfectly fitting since it felt like a fucking odyssey to grind through, I hoped, actually, I was convinced, Valhalla would right Odyssey's wrongs. You see, Odyssey had one big problem for me: It did none of the things that made and still make me love Origins. In short: The world was massive, but felt copied and pasted, uninteresting to explore and lifeless. Basically, it was a lot of green sprinkled with some olive branches. A lot of the times the only way to know roughly where I am was pulling up the map because based on my surroundings, I could've been anywhere. Compared to the intriguing world of Origins, where you always knew in which area of the map you currently were, this was a shitshow. I mean, just walking through the desert in Origins had more atmosphere than the whole city of Athens (the main fucking city) could ever muster up. (Oh, remember the times of AC Brotherhood, where Rome actually felt like a city even though it wasn't actually humongous like the new games are? Or how atmospheric the whole of AC II was? I mean, Venice? Hello? M a s t e r p i e c e) But I can overlook that. The combat didn't feel heavy, or to put it better, "impactful" like it did in Origins, but more like poking the enemies to their deaths with something that made sword-y sounds. But I can overlook that. The loot system improved a bit, in the sense of giving the option to modify your loot and being able to combine different armor pieces, however, Origins outfit-system was more up my alley. But I can overlook that. Funnily enough, compared to its predecessor, Odyssey looked worse. In Origins the fabric of your outfit look like actual fabric and, I can't stress this enough, waved in the wind. In Odyssey everything felt more static and somehow "fake". But I can overlook that. To me, Origins' story was masterfully done. Personally, I'd say, that this is the closest we've ever gotten to the Ezio-Trilogy. The voice acting was top notch. Bayek was a great character, and the side characters like Aya/Amunet were equally intriguing. I still remember the first time I saw the first confession cutscene after killing Medunamun. It gave me shivers and goosebumps and got me excited for what was about to come. What I want to say with this, is that Origins made me care; care about its characters, care about their backstory and motives, care about the world, etc. After I had finished the DLC The Hidden Ones I felt like I had actually witnessed the igniting spark of something epic, namely the Assassin Brotherhood, in such a chilling way, even though they basically were just chillin' in a cave. Because that's what character building gives you: payoffs. Well, Odyssey did none of that. All it did made me care about was to get all the loot, because that's what my mind always goes for in any game (I'm that kind of stupid ape). I didn't care about what would happen in the end – I just wanted to get there. I wanted to know how the story would end, but in whichever way it would, I knew I wouldn't care for it in the sense of being disappointed or yearning for a different outcome for the character I was so invested in, because, as I said, nothing got me invested in the character(s) in the first place. That's what bugged me the most about Odyssey. Not the flimsy feeling combat, not the husk of a world I found myself in, not the downgrade in design and animation, etc., but the lack of care it invoked.

Now, when Valhalla was originally announced, I was excited as I could be for a video game. Ubisoft was clearly aware of their mistakes with Odyssey and tried to show that they're willing to listen to their fanbase. A world where every area has its own identity? Sounds great. Heavy combat? Hell yeah. Gear and loot that actually matters and is special (unlike in Odyssey where after a few hours of playing you find yourself carrying the same fucking bow 25 times)? Oh my. Choices not for the sake of choices, but story? Yes please. I mean, if you have to implement choices. Even though choices don't really make sense in Assassin's Creed, but that's another topic.

Well, did it deliver (for me)? No. And to be completely honest, I prefer Odyssey, even as the grindfest that it is, over Valhalla, and me replaying Odyssey seems a lot more likely to me, than going through all of Valhalla again. I'm not going to list all of the points mentioned above again in full detail: The world is a bit more intriguing than Greece, but a shadow of what Egypt was. The combat feels heavy, yet every weapon looks too big (????) and it still feels a bit off. My biggest grudge of the minor points is actually the look/the graphics: How on earth does Valhalla manage to look less real than Origins? The fur and pelts on the armor, every piece of cloth, i mean just e v e r y t h i n g looks somewhat plasticy (at loss for a better word here; just compare Origins' outfits in motion to Valhalla's) Anyway, let's get to the real problem here, because all boils down to the point I've mentioned before: Invoking care.

This became very apparent to me after forging the fourth (?; was it the fourth? They all blur together. That's how e n t i c i n g they are. Great.) alliance or so. I didn't give a single fuck about the characters in those arcs. It was very clear that they'd be soon replaced by other characters in the next alliance's arc, which I probably wouldn't care for either, especially, since they all felt somewhat the same: empty. Alliances felt like checklists to do. Even Wincestre, which had an interesting beginning, somehow managed to loose all of its "darkness" after the first two quests. But I could overlook the dreary sidequest-like alliance arcs, if they served the main storyline in some way or form. Now you might ask, what main storyline? E x a c t l y. Looking back, there is none. At least not really. And there where a lot of times playing the game where I found myself wondering, if this alliance-arc-thing I was currently dragging myself through was in fact meant to be the actual story. But it shouldn't be. Was it? I have no fucking clue. My conclusion on what Valhalla's main overarching story is, is what follows:

Eivor's parents got killed when he was a child (never seen before lol), got adopted, and is now part of the Raven clan with his "brother" Sigurd//Sigurd comes home from some raid with the Assassins Basim and Hytham//(Eivor gets the Hidden Blade; I mean, this is an Assassin's Creed game. Big moment. Done in 2 seconds.)//Sigurd and Eivor aren't happy with the new King of Norway.//Sigurd and Eivor fuck off to England (with Basim and Hytham) to set camp there.//Eivor starts to forge alliances throughout England to make his clan's hold on England stronger.// Sigurd and Basim do their own thing.//Eivor meets Sigurd and Basim two or three times throughout his alliance forging.//Basim seems a bit off.//Sigurd says that he was told (by Basim?) that he is a descendant of the gods.// Sigurd wants to "pursue his destiny"// (sidenote: the last few things are all within one (!) short cutscene in a small house. d e v e l o p m e n t.)//Sigurd gets captured and tortured and loses his hand.//Eivor rescues Sigurd.// Sigurd is back in the settlement.//Sigurd distrusts Eivor because Eivor doesn't believe Sigurd and Sigurd thinks Eivor wants to take his title as the jarl (jarls are the bosses of settlements).// And then the end sequence hits. This is where I want to go into somewhat detail again. We go from Sigurd distrusts Eivor to "Eivor, I don't wanna be the boss of the town, so I don't hold a grudge anymore, let's go back to Norway and I'll show you I was right all along" like it's nothing. It's literally just that: You walk up to Sigurd, he says this (more or less) and you sail away. Again: development is taken very seriously in this game. Honestly, at this point I didn't even know that this was going to trigger the ending. My genuine thoughts were "Oh my, finally, after all this grinding, the story is going to start." when in reality of course, ironically, it was going to end. Absolute belter. So you sail to Norway with Sigurd, which takes fucking forever, because OF COURSE you have to sail (for everyone who didn't play the game, yes, sail, that means looking at a viking longship while occasionally moving the stick slightly to change its directions slightly) to your original settlement in Norway, for what feels like far too long, only to say Hi to your dad. Fucking lost it. I thought we were going to assassinate the King? Nah bruv let's just have some quick family talk instead. Some action? Nah. Just get back to the longship. A N D S T A R T S A I L I N G A G A I N. Where? Just around the curve of our settlement in Norway. Yes, they pulled the old trick of the ending is literally just right around the corner of your starting position hehe. Absolute belter. Is this to make it seem like something is about to happen? The calm before the storm? It doesn't work like that. Well, then you actually sail through a storm (lol), which doesn't matter, because Sigurd just says "Let's keep going" and, well, you keep going. Also, to this point the weather conditions have never affected neither Eivors health, nor the ship in any way whatsoever, so why should I be impacted by a storm now? Like, it's a nice thing for atmosphere, but at least make the ship harder to steer or something. Then you walk up a mountain. Funnily enough Sigurd walks in manner that shows that the walk against the storm isn't easy, whereas you, hah, you can just yeet yourself up that mountain like nothing. I could sprint up there. Fucking sprint. Anyway, Eivor and Sigurd enter the Isu temple, because of course, we had to throw an Isu temple in there, I mean, i t ' s A s s a s s i n ' s C r e e d. Was it hinted at before in the story? Not really. Were we chasing or searchig for it? Nah, better get that next alliance going. It just suddenly was. Again: development. So we walk to the main platform of the temple and activate the machine and bam we're in Valhalla (because at some point Ubisoft realised that maybe they should include what is literally in the name of the game). Again, were we looking for Valhalla? Like not in the sense that every viking was, but more in the sense

of was it the main objective of the game? Did Eivor look for a way to Valhalla? Was there anything that led us here other than Sigurd having had a few dreams (that only got mentioned, like, twice?) and being influenced into thinking he was a demigod or something? Nope, Eivor was looking for that next alliance to forge. So, Eivor realises that his experience of Valhalla is fake and he wants to get out. But fake-Odin doesn't want to let him go. In a really weird cutscene (jump to 6:30), Eivor eventually escapes Odin and enters a door with his settlement-family (look, I'm all here for metaphors, but this, this is just utter rubbish. It just doesn't make sense, and there is no payoff whatsoever). Odin actually had a build-up of some sort. In every assassination sequence he's there and talks with Eivor. I actually thought there would be some cool payoff/ending/reveal here. But nah, this ain't it chief. Yet somehow, until here, I had hope. I thought maybe now, building on all this confusion, there's gonna be a relatively good ending. Something enticing. Something that made everything somewhat worthwile. And Ubisoft went: Lol nah. So, you're out of the Isu machine again (for all the non-AC-peoples here: basically like the matrix. Eivor gets hooked up to the machine and experiences alternate reality: Valhalla), and Basim is there. What a twist. The guy that showed up like three times and went from friendly in the first time to super suspicious (like glaring-in-your-face-suspicious) in the two-or-so other major cutscenes he was in, has now been revealed as the enemy. Congrats to that. What a twist. The thing is, and this bothers me a lot actually, it could have been anyone there. It didn't need to be Basim. It wouldn't have felt out of place if it wasn't him. Why? Because Ubisoft failed terribly at making you connect to any character and at building any actual story (or character). It could have been Gunnar, the friendly black-smith in our settlement, and it would have been as fitting as Basim. Then Basim says that this is "for his son". Ah yes, the lost son of Basim, which was mentioned once. Right. Eivor defeats Basim by hooking him up on the Isu machine and gets back to the settlement with Sigurd (in my ending at least. There seems to be a possible ending in which Sigurd doesn't come back.) Cut to the modern day, where Layla now knows the coordinates of the Isu temple, goes there, hooks herself up to the machine, becomes the overseer of time with the other overseer of time which already was hanging out there (I mean yeah, great idea, terrible execution. Build it up, then you can have a payoff. This was just straight outta nowhere, and who cared about Layla anyway.) Anyway, meanwhile Basim, who was still hanging on that machine a fuck ton of years later, pops off, and is now living in the modern day. The idea here is, that we lost the hero (Layla) which caused the (just established) vilain (Basim) to do his fuckery in the modern day. But why should I care? Basim was basically nonexistent in the basically nonexistent story and suddendly I should feel sad or shocked, because he's in the modern day? Is this supposed to be intriguing? And yeah, Layla is "gone". Layla, who had no character building over three fucking games. Why should i be bothered? Why should I care about anything that just happened? Remember when a side character (Lucy) died in AC Brotherhood? That was intriguing. Why? Because they built her as a character we (Desmond) trusted, even though it was in the modern day (which no one really cares about in AC). And this is why Valhalla broke me and Odyssey didn't. Valhalla failed to make me care on a much deeper level. It's just a lot of nothingness. Empty characters in a nonexistent story. And by nonexistent, I mean non-built at all. When I play the game now, I have no actual reason, and throughout the game never actually had any actual reason, to continue. It was a chore. I didn't bother if after three hours of grind I would eventually get a mini-snippet of a husk of a story, and neither do I care now. Everything in

this game is so devoid of sparking curiosity and screams of lacklusterness to the point where I don't even know what I have actually expierenced. For fuck's sake Ubisoft, make me care again. At least once in 40 hours.

May I sum up Valhalla's "story" and content in the glorious words of Catherine Tate: Am I bovvered? The answer, sadly, is a holistic no.