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dalkyeom · 2 years

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📌— Weekly Chan ; SKZ break!

This announcement has been a long time coming but I wanted to come here and let you know that I’ll be stepping away from creating skz content for the foreseeable future.

Tbh I didn’t know how to tell everyone that I wouldn’t be drawing for them anymore. Maybe, because I found myself comfortable with the community I found myself in but my passion to create fanart for them dwindled over the past few months. I held on thinking this is a fluke, but I think it's time for me to explore other interests of mine. I wanted to stay but I found myself frustrated with feeling like I'm putting myself in a box. honestly, it was the lack of traction or how hard it was for my work to be seen that was a big factor in wanting to leave. I stand by the fact that feedback is vital for an artist's motivation to continue making the things they do. The lack of it made me question if it was even worth continuing to draw for skz bc while I love them a lot, not having my works reach a larger pool of Stays was pretty taxing. also the fact I was hidden in the basement did not help :(

Sadly, my love for Chan couldn't soothe the creative frustration I was in. So I guess it's just time to go, step outside for awhile, and explore new worlds.

As a staytist, I want to thank you for liking my art 🥺 and I hope they were able to give some comfort or healing. Most of them were made out of sheer love for the group bc for a long time Stray Kids were my home. They provided me happiness that I wanted to share too. I’ll never forget reading the nice tags and the nice asks you’ve sent my way! Thank you for welcoming me to the fandom even though I don’t interact as much.

So I want to say, please love your content creators. editors, writers, fanartists— the whole nine yards bc without them you can feel the lack of an integral part of the fandom experience. If their works make you happy and you want to see more from them: share their work, send them love and asks, comment, engage— anything that can help share their work around bc we spend so much time creating things out of love for free! Let them know you appreciate the work they’ve put into the things they love. The least we ask for is to share works we spent lots of time on.

Thank you for reading! I hope I can still see you around while I make art for other interests. Under the cut will be about Weekly Chan updates and a more in depth explanation/ goodbye letter/ final thoughts since the important stuff has been said.

Weekly Chan has 19 more portraits to go before I can say I’m officially finished with the project. So, I’ll be working on those on/off because more than anything, I want to see it done. Weekly Chan started as a normal dedicated fan project for Bang Chan (mainly out of Chanrot) that became a source of wanting to spread warmth to fellow stays much like how Chan does weekly through Chan’s Room.

I made a goal of 100 portraits by his birthday, and since I’m close to finishing it I’ll be seeing it through 💖 as a gift because Chan has done a lot for me, like an extra booster when I feel like I’m doing things alone. There is no definite end date since I'll take my time finishing it. He is, after all one of the stars I cherish the most.

Tbh aside from the whole art-related stuff. Around March, I think I was already finding myself detaching from skz. It was like a gradual loss of motivation to keep following them. I'm sure if you were a follower of my @/mocimori blog you've heard me cry over it a couple of times. Mainly it was a culmination of many things but the speed the community was going (lovestay > oddinary) and over saturation made me feel what I felt towards Genshin twt's fast paced consumption of new content.

getting tickets to their Maniac Tour was what broke the chiamel's back. I was tasked to secure tickets so my fam and my friend can watch the show with me, but I underestimated how stressful it was. No amount of preparation could prepare me for ticketing day. The fact that there was no membership pre-sale made it 10x more stressful it was as if we were on the hunger games as involuntary Katniss Everdeens at the quarter quell. It was that bad. I ended up sick from the preparation stress and the crushing weight of not being able to secure even 1 ticket. Eventually, I did manage to secure tickets when they open sales for Newark D1 but the exhaustion I felt stuck to me like tar.

I think I was just hoping to go back to the way it was. The ticketing left a bad taste in my mouth and omo, this is a fault of mine but messy fandom stuff will slip in my radar even though I try to keep my feed negative-free. Then I heard about how Staytists were being treated by fellow Stays (reposting of art w/out consent, rating fanart on tiktok — basically just disrespectful behavior) I had a hard time trying to reconnect afterwards.

Also this post is getting way too long so I shall tl;dr what was going on with my Chan ult'ing journey but eventually the sparks just faded out. It was probably a combination of so many things and the pressure of wanting to draw Chan on a weekly basis, sometimes 3-5x a week that it just… took its toll on me…

it came to a point where I would cry over Chan at random hours of the day. I missed him, I felt guilty bc suddenly he was no longer the center of my thoughts. I felt guilt bc I knew people knew me as that Chan fanartist. It was silly, how I let a kpop boy affect me this much but I held him with the highest regard. He was my star; out of all the biases I ult'd he had the most special position and was a symbol of hope. Having a hard time relate to him, feeling so detached made me feel bad. As if the security blanket was ripped away from my fingers.

sometimes, I still cry over him. It's no longer as bad as that time I cried over him for a week or two straight. I reflected a bit because yeah, it was a bit silly of me but when he was the source of all my hope when I felt like I had no one— even if it was that small of an interaction, I felt like what I'm feeling is valid. So, yeah, I just feel like it's ok for me to let go now. I think it was more of my fear of leaving behind a community that made me want to stick around. Other than the pressure, I just feel like throughout the last few months I lost what little creativity I had bc I wanted to follow trends, I had to box this outlet for the sake of accuracy and aaah idk it was just not healthy anymore.

i'll still support the Kids in my own way. At the end of the day, they're still my ults and I love the music they make. But I wanted to write this so you won't worry wth happened to me and the skz art. It's not really a goodbye but maybe, a see you soon!

thank you for everything!

#amg I know :( cb is so soon too!#tbh I wanted to hold off until after the first few days bc I already planned I wont be doing much this cb #but it’s tumblr lol so it’s like early announcement for you #also maybe bc I feel like no one would care that much compared to twitter #the chan branding is very strong on twitter so I’ll do it after I post my Maxident piece #chia.diary #Long post #naur fr I feel like the stuff under read more is very long #But I want to say I love my moots very much!#my stayblr friends I met along the way I love you! Thank you for making my time here enjoyable

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dreamies-got-my-heart · 5 years

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Answer question tag

@sunnysunseungmin thank you for tagging me. Also sorry for being so late😓

Rules: After answering the questions, add your own set of questions to ask your mutuals or anyone else who wants to do this.

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List ten things that you are thankful for having in your life

1. My brother

2. Mom and dad

3. The rest of family

4. Friends

5. Health

6. My dog

7. Music

8. Laughter

9. Books

10. Silence

Who is your ultimate bias and why?

Well to be honest I'm still searching for the person because as I'm learning about new groups I'm discovering new interesting people. For a long time Heechul was my ultimate(still is, it's just that I kinda added a few people on the list). So my ult biases are Heechul, Jaemin, Han Jisung, Key and Hani. The thing that I love about Heechul and Key are their sense of humor and savagnes. They are so good at variety (especially Heechul) and naturally charismatic. Also they are very intelligent. Even if sometimes their humor can be a bit to rough they are truly kind people and I love them so so so much. As for Jaemin I love how kind and sweet he is. Also he is very confident and I really appreciate that about him. He is kind to his members (well most of the time😁). He has all of my uwus. Hani is my ultimate female bias. She is honestly one of the kindest idols and is also super intelligent. I love her tomboyish style and how casual she is. Also her obsessions with girl groups👏👏👏 we love a intellectual legend. And finally Han.... can I just scream perfection. He is such a talented rapper and lyricist and a good vocalist as well. I love his melodic style of rap and the way he delivers it. I also find him super funny( he is legit the funniest member don't @me hoe). Also something that a lot of people seem to not notice about him is that he is quite intelligent. I love his personality overall and I want to squish his squirrel cheeks🙌

What is your favourite dish and can you make it? How did you learn to?

Gonna skip this question. If you really thought I was gonna choose just one food you trippin' bruh.

Do you listen to solo kpop artist? If so list your top 5

Yes I do. I listen to a lot of solo artists and it's hard to choose just 5 but here we go...

1. RM

2. Agust D

3. Zico

4. Taemin

5. Bang Yongguk

What kind of fanart is your favourite?

Realistic portraits

What kpop collaboration do you wish for?

Taemin and Ten. The two best dancers in kpop? Yes please! I love their style of dancing and would love to see them collaborate

Have you attended a kpop concert?

No😢

Would you like to be a kpop artist yourself?

No. I mean I love the idea of having all the attention for myself but I'd rather be something like an actor or an mc or a comedian maybe.

Which kpop idol is your ideal type?

A mix between Chan(skz), Changbin, Doyoung, Kyuhyun and Bang Yongguk ( this is very specific lol😂)

Which kpop come back was your favourite this year?

Uhhhh there are so many good ones but I have to say I Am Who by SKZ and Empathy by nct.

What is a book you can read over and over again without getting bored?

None. I despise the idea of knowing what will happen. If I know how the book is gonna end I'm not even gonna bother reading it, the suspension is what keeps me going.

Favourite type of flower and why?

Narciss. Because I love the way it's connected to the Greek mythology.

Do you play an instrument?

What is your favourite time of the year?

Summer. Because there is no school, the weather is nice and you have more time for going out.

What's your favourite kpop mv?

The 7th sense by nct

What song can always cheer you up whenever you're feeling down?

Not kpop: Don't stop me now by Queen

Kpop: Dunk shot by nct dream

What is the one thing that can always make you smile?

My brother. Even tho we fight sometimes we actually get along quite well. We always make each other laugh and we communicate in memes and vines so we often confuse our parents 😂

Favourite pair of shoes you got?

The new short blackish/greyish boots with heels I got. They are lit fam.👌

How many languages do you speak?

Two

What is your favourite thing about your bias?

I already kinda explained it in the one of the questions above so...yea.

Ok my questions

Favourite book and movie?

What is a colour you think represents you the best?

Favourite subject in school?

Epic fantasy or sci-fi?

The trait that you value the most in a person?

Weekly idol or Asc?

I tag @felixscutefreckles @dreamieslovebot @kpoptrashx2 @chittaprrs @jisungshotfirst and whoever wants to do it. Idk I'm trying not to tag people that I tagged in the bias and bias wrecker selfie tag that I'm gonna post tommorow 😂

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