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kleenexwoman · 6 months

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What are Mango Languages?

A Duolingo type company headquartered near me. They had a position for a copywriter ("storyteller" they called it) and I was so excited. I thought that spreading the word of an app that would teach people to communicate with each other would be just fantastic.

As a polytheistic pagan, I had been happily figuring out how to actually communicate with multiple Divine presences in a way that made sense to me (...think about 'em really hard as people? I dunno, I have a really vivid imagination), and was doing the equivalent of going through every number in my contacts and sending them a "New phone! It sends pictures now!" text with a picture of me holding my cat.

So I had confirmed my broship with Odin, my sisship with Artemis, decided that the goddess Diana was not actually for me (they are vastly different at this point and may have always been), and was doing stuff like having Bastet help me communicate with my cat (it was great).

One day I'm hanging out with my now-wife talking halal meat (it's good stuff) and she suggests simmering some baby goat in goat milk.

I start to say "That sounds go--" and then a Voice from the Heavens resounds in my ear going "That was the ONE combination I SPECIFICALLY asked people to avoid" and I start to feel super sad for the baby goat.

And I say, "Honey, the G-d of Abraham just asked me not to. Think I'm gonna. Not."

And she's like "ugh are you gonna turn frum"

And I'm like, "I don't have the executive function for that. Just not the goat meat with the milk. Feels weird to me."

She's worried I'm about to become a zealot, I'm just asking her to make her goatmeat gyros with the goat feta on a day we don't hang out, or at least brush her teeth really good before she kisses me. I can deal with not eating one particular combination, especially when it would honestly be pretty gamy. Lamb with chevre is still fine.

So I put the screws to Adonai, because motherfuck has a lot to answer for in my opinion.

I see this job for Mango Languages and I think it's a perfect fit for me. And hey, Who offers to help me out? All I have to do is separate my consumption of milk and meat by three hours. Not even six. Just half the time, because something about my metabolism. He's willing to be flexible.

Aight cool. I do that for a few days. It's not super hard if I pay attention.

I get a callback, and they have decided that there is actually no need for the position. I Don't Get The Job so hard that the position itself is eliminated.

"?????" I ask Adonai, who shrugs and says, "Look, I tried My best, y'know?"

MOTHERFUCK, YOU PUNK-ASS BITCH. UGH.

So now I ask Odin for things instead.

Odin delivers on His agreements. Sometimes He delivers so hard it's incredibly inconvenient, but BOY do they show up. You just want to experience His Presence in the Flesh? Get ready for a veritable stream of crazy and/or high desperate folks knocking at your door asking for help. Or coming up to you in parking lots asking for help or money. Or just wanting to have a random, insane, highly pleasant and enlightening conversation with you.

(A roommate asked for that. And we all got That. For the record, I felt the promise has been delivered upon, but the roommate was consistently unsatisfied.)

Anyway, I'm sure that Mango Languages has a fine product, but I would not know for sure because they did not hire a copywriter to tell me about it.

(And I still get real pointed at the G-d of my fathers for, well, anything I can think of. Just because you can communicate with a god doesn't mean that you are obligated to be nice to them.)

#personal #paganism

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whiteclericmaris · 6 years

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6, 8

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

What’s interesting is that fandom gets me to ship things I never considered. XD Like for shows or books (Twilight fanfic) I would usually just think about how happy those characters must be by the end that I rarely consider any ship (My asexual nature is showing). I mostly cared before about platonic friendships viewing them important but not going farther into romance (still do even though I art romantic ships more than friendship). I barely participated with fandom but I did like drawing that Autor ship with the blonde girl due to @plushie-tusk. They were so much fun to color even if I forgot the context of what the blonde character was in the show outside of watering flowers.

A pairing that I hate... Well... that’s tough because as I said I don’t really ship in most fandoms I am in and just like to see the happy endings. I would have to go with Thiefshipping because of my friend. She loves that ship and LittleKuriboh’s abridged series really does have a sort of comic dynamic. I didn’t particularly hate it though but was more... ‘Why’ and just accepted she liked it (She still does as she made a coloring book project for the pairing). Ge//ne//sisshipping at first I didn’t like and loathed because I was watching it when it aired and I am just sitting here like ‘We don’t know anything about them!’ yet after 126 and 127 preview that ship was exploding rapidly in content. Eventually I just accepted that they are part of the Straight 8 (Yu Counterpart x Bracelet Girl) as @checkurselfb4umachuwreckurself likes to call them. I just would have at least preferred if we knew anything about their dynamic (since that’s usually what pulls me in to ship something). Hateships in general or bullying dynamics were never a thing for me and no matter how popular the ship is no one can convince me otherwise that I will enjoy it. There is also you with Fluoriteshipping. I don’t like shipping abductor with their abductee no matter the situation (even if family was abusive) and Yuri and Rin are basically that trope. However reading your Amare Ab Invito preview and seeing the characterization you had for Yuri at the time I started to warm up a little. It wasn’t a simple ‘And now he loves her’ as I thought at first and more of a complex process during the writing. I could tell you spent a lot of time thinking about how it would work with their personalities and the dynamic in it is A++. Those are my only experiences with this.

Have you received anon hate? What about?

Surprisingly no (Not that it’s a bad thing). The most close experience I got was when I was drawing Pl//aci//do from 5d’s in a dry erase board and saying how he was a character I didn’t like because unlike Jose who appeared to consider people’s lives or even to remain in stealth mode with their plans Placido outright disregards the loss of lives even if it is to prevent the apocalypse in the future. It wasn’t an anon though and they just told me “If I cared about my follower count that I shouldn’t be bashing a popular character” or something like that. Which... when was Placido ever popular? That was news to me at the time. So I just responded with that ‘I don’t care about follower count.’ or something like that which I really didn’t at the time since I was new to Tumblr and social media and besides they weren’t even following me so ‘Shoo Shoo!’ you’re not a threat to me.

I was (and still am) actually worried that people would have bashed me for my ships. Like that Elusionshipping and the recent Prayshipping. XD. Like who would come up with that? (This fan right here!) I even mentally prepare myself in case a random person asks me ‘Why I ship this?’ or ‘Why I don’t ship this instead?’. Luckily Arc-V fandom is small and I guess they are nice in general (or I am following the right people).

Thanks for the ask! (Sorry for the long responses)

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