"I'll Be There, Always"

Group : Seventeen

Pairing : Joshua × Reader

Genre : Drabble, Sibling!Joshua

Word Count : 1.2k

Warning : boring content, this idea came because I was scrolling through tiktok lol

a/n : if I were to open up say prompt game or drabble game, or even open up requests, would anyone be interested ?? It's been a while since I was active here and I miss it 🥺

Today suck.

It sucks really bad.

First, you miss your bus so you were late to your class and just HAD to be humiliated in front of everyone by your professor.

Second, you had hoped to listen to some music during lunch but when you open your earpod case, you found that one was missing and you had forgotten to charge your case so you couldn't do what you had planned.

Third, the guy you had gotten close with turns out was just using you to get to your friend and you found out the hard way.

Lastly, as if to pour salt in your wound, on your way from the bus station to your apartment, the rain suddenly poured hard and you just no longer have the strength to be strong.

So here you are.

Drenched from head to toe, heartbroken, eyes puffy, and is just done with life. Life and whatever other shit is just waiting for you.

Surprisingly, when you opened your apartment, you saw your brother with two of his friends on the couch. They were playing games on the tv, too concentrated to even notice that you had came back home.

The apartment you live in is technically yours. Joshua has his own room for whenever he doesn't feel like staying in the dorms. He helped you pay for it since you're still just a student and he makes more by being an idol.

"Oppa, why are you here?" You called out as you walk in.

Jeonghan and Wonwoo were playing some... fighting game you wanna say ? And Joshua was sat in the middle, watching them as he drink cola.

"Oh hey, you're home," he answered, not looking at you at first, "We were in the neighborhood and we decided to come here and pla- what happened to you ?" His eyes widened when he saw how bad you looked, makeup and hair a mess, and splotches of puddle following behind your trail.

You lift a hand to him, "don't even" you said in english before stomping away to clean yourself up.

All you wanna do is shower, get into bed, and cry.

But noooooooo, you had to be seen first by your brother and his adonis looking friends. You've already feel bad as it is, do you really need to feel even worse ?

The shower you took was fairly quick, but you had been crying in there so it took half an hour for you to come out.

You decided to get a drink before going to your room. As much as you wanna entertain your brother and his friends, you really don't wanna ruin the mood with how sucky you're feeling.

When you got to the kitchen, Wonwoo was there too, getting some snacks. He smiled when you came in, "hey" he called. You pursed your lips and replied him with a less than enthusiastic "hey". You reaaaaally feel like hiding your puffy face in your hoodie so that he wouldn't notice.

But it would seem like he did.

Wonwoo tilted his head to the side to get a better look on you, "you okay, (Y/N)? Your eyes look puffy"

"Wow," you nodded at him, "what an amazing observation skill you have" you muttered as you took a sip of your drink and walk out.

Just as you passed by, Jeonghan called you, "(Y/N)! We're ordering chicken from that place you like! Do you want some?"

But you ignored him completely and just closed your bedroom door.

Once alone, you put the glass on your desk and threw yourself on your bed. You immediately wrap yourself in your blanket like a burrito and cried again.

It honestly felt pathetic, the amount of crying you had done in one day, but you don't care. Everything juat sucks and all you want is for the day to just skip or have your memory erased so you don't have to remember about how bad you're feeling right now.

You cried until you feel tired, like as if there were no more tears left to cry.

Just then, your door suddenly opened and shut.

Pitter patter of footsteps was heard on your floor and suddenly your bed dipped. Joshua's face appeared in front of you, soft smile and all. Which only makes you wanna punch him.

"Do I need to hunt someone down ?"

You shook your head.

"Do I need to send Seungcheol or Jun to intimidate someone?"

You shook your head.

"Are you okay?" He asked in english.

You don't know if it's the question or the way he asked or the way it made you feel loved and cared about, but you cried again. Tears flowed down like waterfall and you couldn't stop.

Joshua cooed and brought you into his arms, pressing your face to his chest as he stroke your head softly.

"Men ain't shit" you choked out in english through your tears.

You felt Joshua nodded, "no we're not, I'm sorry"

"Not you though, you're good," you sniffled, rubbing away the tears from your eyes harshly.

Joshua laughed at that, "why, thank you sis" he said before he scooped down to peck your forehead, "I'll be sure to tell that to Wonwoo and Jeonghan so they'd know how you feel about them" he joked.

Without thinking, you let out a whine and hit his chest with your fist, "okay I guess the rest of Seventeen is fine" you added.

For a while, you both just laid there as you calm down. Joshua never stopped stroking your head though, a habit he developed since little whenever he tries to help you through something. You love your brother to the moon and back and his love for his family is one of the reason you always get through whatever it is you're trying to go through.

"Bad day ?" Joshua asked, breaking the silence once he's sure you're calmer.

"Nothing seems to go my way today" you fiddled with your fingers as you recalled the events that happened.

So you ended up spilling everything to him.

Every. Single. Thing.

A scandalized look appeared on his face when you were done, "I'm gonna have to personally have a talk with your professor and you WILL give me the name of the guy who did you wrong, tomorrow we're going shopping to get you a better alarm and I'll get you new earpods if you want"

Looking up, you frowned at him, "isn't that a bit dramatic?" "What is?" "All that, especially the talking with my professor and making me tell you that guy's name, I'm still trying to get through college without anyone knowing that I'm Seventeen's Joshua's little sister"

Joshua sighed, "fine, I won't out you. But as you said, you're my little sister and I will do everything to make you happy, you hear me?"

Feeling slightly better, you smiled and hug him tight.

"Mmkay oppa"

In return, he hugs you back equally tight, feeling happy that he could help you feel better.

"I love you, (Y/N), you can always come to me when you have bad days, okay? I'll always be there"

"Okay oppa, and I love you too"

.

.

.

.

"Does this mean I can make a move on one of your members?"

He glared at you.

"Don't even think about it"

SEVENTEEN 14th member || Hayley

FACE & VOICE CLAIM: Choi Yena (ex IZ*ONE)

STAGE NAME: Hayley (헤일리)

KOREAN NAME: Lee Ha Eun (이하은)

ENGLISH NAME: Hayley Lee

NICKNAMES: Eun, Eunnie, Hayhay, Genius Lee, Queen Hay, Duality Eun

BIRTH DATE: January 9th, 2001 (20 years old, 21 on Korean age)

PLACE OF BIRTH: Vancouver, Canada

ETHNIC: Korean

EDUCATION: Seoul School of Performing Arts

ZODIAC SIGN: Capricorn

NATURAL HAIR COLOUR: Black

EYE COLOUR: Dark brown

HEIGHT: 160cm

WEIGHT: 42kg

BLOOD TYPE: A

POSITION: Lead dancer, sub-vocal, sub-rapper, maknae

UNIT: Performance

TRAINING PERIOD: 2 years and 6 months

LANGUAGES: English, Korean, French, currently learning Japanese and Chinese

FAMILY: mother, father and two older brothers (one of them being Mark from NCT)

B A C K S TO R Y

Hayley is the third-child, the only girl and youngest among the three children her parents had

She started dancing at the age of four. Throughout her life she learnt classic ballet, jazz, contemporary dance, hip-hop and more

When she was around ten years old, Hayley won an internship at Paris Opéra Ballet and stayed there for about three years. She graduated with every honour she could have due to her great performances and skills

After returning to Vancouver, Hayley participated on SM Global Audition, yet she failed it (she considers it one of the biggest failures in her life)

Though that situation happened to her, she passed on Pledis’ audition and started training on 2014

She thought she wouldn’t make a debut since she wasn’t present to the public as one of the Pledis Girls or as a regular trainee, so she was surprised when the prompt of joining Seventeen was presented

Started to train with the boys as soon as 2016 began, even though she wouldn’t go with them to awards ceremonies or concerts

Officially joined Seventeen in ‘Pretty U’ era and received a lot of criticism, but also some Carats loved her

P E R S O N A L I T Y

She’s a shy girl at first sight, but as soon as she has to perform as Hayley from Seventeen, she becomes charismatic and powerful (that’s why Carats call her ‘Duality Eun’). With the members, close friends and family, though, she’s a bubbly and caring personality

Haeun tends to bottle everything inside and pretend nothing’s wrong until she can’t take it anymore

Her motivation is to be a great idol and make Carats proud of her

Her weak point is negative comments, those really affect her

She has a habit to scratch herself when she’s nervous till the point where sometimes it caused bruises

Ever since she debuted, the media always found a way to compare her to Mark and she absolutely hates it because not only she doesn’t want to be known as “Mark’s younger sister” but also it makes her feel insecure about specially her vocal skills

F U N F A C T S

Hayley was really insecure to join Seventeen, even though she had already met them once or twice, the thought of being in the same group as thirteen boys that already knew each other was terrifying to her. Now, she sees them as her family and cares for them as if they were her brothers for real

She cried after Seventeen won Best Dance Performance on MAMA 2017 when they left the stage because she knew how hard everyone worked for ‘Don’t Wanna Cry’

Probably is the #1 fan of China Line and freaked out with My I (every time they had to perform it Hayley needed to be there and root for them)

Even though ballet took a big part of her life, she had never performed it in front of her members. They only saw her dancing to it during her solo on ‘Diamond Edge’

She loves to read books (lowkey Hayhay and Wonwoo have a book club)

Because she grew up speaking two languages at home + learnt French at the ballet academy, Hayley goes through those three languages when she’s nervous

Carats started to call her ‘Genius Lee’ when Jeonghan said Hayley has good grades on school, besides speaking fluently three languages

Calls Mark at least once a week because she is really attached to him (seriously they’re sibling goals)

She can’t eat anything with cinnamon due to the fact that she’s allergic to it

Plays the piano very well, however she sucks at playing guitar (Jihoon and Joshua can confirm it) done till here

Her favourite colour is lilac

Wears glasses but can’t use contact lenses, so she walks around and performs without seeing very well

Sebongies made a special event to give Hayhay her SVT ring, they made a live without her knowing and pulled a prank on her to, after, give her the present (cue to Hayley crying like a baby)

Loves high heels because they make her looks taller, but she gave up using them because of the choreographies

Would like to try rapping but is too insecure of failing and being compared to her brother that she doesn’t even try

Hayhay tends to not speak up her ideas whenever Performance team is creating a new choreography, she’s really insecure about her ideas so she remains in silence

Only a few times she suggested a few things, including Jihoon’s part in ‘Don’t Wanna Cry’ choreography

Anyone can bribe her with chicken and ice cream

She’s a fan of 5 Seconds Of Summer

Her knees are always bruised with purple marks due to their hard choreographies (the makeup artists have to work on them with makeup whenever she’s using shorts without knee pads)

overthinker

pairing: junhui x reader

word count: 2.7k

au/theme: angst/fluff

summary: taking care of your sick boyfriend is easy until you get in your own head

warnings: mucho overthinking, jun being the best boi

Panic.

That’s the only emotion that was buzzing through Junhui’s mind at this moment.

He was sick. His fever was high, throat scratchy, body aching. He couldn’t sing or dance or even goof around, let alone get out of his bed. However, that didn’t stop him from trying.

He knew better, obviously he didn’t want to get anyone else infected, but at the same time, he had work to do. Choreography to learn, lines to record and a whole comeback just months away. He can’t let down his carats, his members. He can’t let you down.

That’s what got him out of bed this morning and into the dance room. The members noticed immediately, the way he could barely stand and the pale white of his skin while his hair stuck to his forehead from the high body temperature.

They refused to let him practice, ending up with Mingyu left in charge until the managers arrived to handle the situation. But that didn’t help one bit. It actually made things worse, frustrating the young man beyond belief. The members acted as if they wouldn’t be doing the exact same thing as him, the managers acting as if they owned him.

He was hot, in pain, grumpy, tired and just wanted to at least watch the practice so that he wouldn’t be as behind. The group returned to learning the new dance while the managers sat back for a moment to allow everyone to calm down.

And then the door opened. And you walked in. And while he was ecstatic about seeing your beauty for the first time today, part of him felt extremely irritated.

“Really?” he scoffed as he turned to the others in the room. “You tattled to my girlfriend?”

“Hyung, we really just think you should get some rest.” Chan spoke quietly from the front of the room.

Minghao, who was sat near Jun, placed a hand on his shoulder, causing his older friend to look in his direction. “We get where you’re coming from, really. We’ve all been there. But just go home, rest, and you'll be back and better in no time.”

The rest nodded in agreement, Jun’s attention shifting when he felt the soft skin of the back of your hand grazing his forehead.

“Baby, you’re burning up. You don’t look that great, how long have you been feeling sick?” you cooed, a slight pout in your tone.

His attitude melted away as he watched your eyebrows furrow in worry as you placed a hand on his cheek, him leaning into it. The action made his heart warm and the total comfort of having you around brought tears to his eyes.

He looked down and a stray tear fell before he could wipe it away. A sniffle was all you needed before embracing him, a tiny sob coming out from his frustrations. The members watched silently from behind, recognizing that you were definitely the only person that could ever get through his stubbornness except possibly his parents.

“Come on sweetheart, let’s get you home.” you say quietly rubbing his back. He nods into your neck before pulling away and gathering his belongings around him. The two of you made your way to the door, him opening it for you before pausing and turning to the others.

“Thank you for looking out for me and my health. I apologize for my actions and attitude earlier, I really appreciate and love you all.” he bowed missing how the other members smiled and nodded.

“We love you too!” Jeonghan yelled from the back of the room, causing the others to join in.

“Get better soon!”

“Have fun taking medicine!”

“Go home already, I don’t want to get sick!”

“Take good care of him Y/N, he’s a sneaky one!”

You chuckled before replying, “He won’t leave my sight.” as you gave him a pointed look to which he returned a sheepish smile.

You two walked out of the building and into the car before the driver started his way back to the dorms, you in the backseat holding Jun’s hand as he laid his head on your shoulder.

“Why wouldn’t you say you didn’t feel good, you dummy. Do you like worrying me?” you mumbled into his hair as you gave him a light peck.

He chuckled without opening his eyes. “You know that’s not why. Even though you are pretty adorable when you’re all worked up-” a playful punch to his leg made him cut himself off with a laugh. “I don’t know, I just didn’t want to be behind, especially with the album and I don’t want you to waste your time trying to take care of me.”

You were silent for the rest of the ride as he slowly drifted off to sleep, the thoughts replaying in your head. He always worked so hard, especially being part of the performance line. He pushed his vocals with higher notes, his body with tougher choreography, and basically his sanity due to the crazy schedules they had set up. You knew what you were going into when you agreed to a first date almost two years ago.

You arrived at the dorms, waking Jun just enough so he could walk up to his room. You thanked the driver and followed your sleepy boyfriend, opening the doors and leading him to the bed before placing a couple blankets on and starting some soft music. When he instantly fell back into slumber, you made your way to the kitchen and began boiling some water for soup.

How could he not want you to take care of him? Did he think it was annoying, did he not like being coddled? But he was constantly searching for your affection whether vocal or physical, so you didn’t quite understand. Maybe he didn’t want to feel like he was unable to do anything, helpless? How dare he call it a waste of time when in reality, you would want nothing more than to spend every moment by him, nursing him back to health or not.

You finished the soup and began preparing a tray to take to him. You placed a water and some tablets on it along with the bowl and utensils and carefully made your way through the house. You quietly opened the door wider with your foot and placed the tray on the bedside table before sitting next to the bed.

He was facing you, blankets pulled up to his chin and mouth slightly parted. The hair on his forehead was still slightly damp from his fever, but you can tell it already wasn’t as bad as when you first saw him. He looked peaceful, skin flawless without any worrying lines or furrowed eyebrows or frowns clouding his features.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there, silently admiring him before a loud ping broke your focus. You pulled your phone from your pocket, quickly replying to the text from a friend before looking up to see Jun’s eyes just barely open and a small smile on his lips.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” you asked, quickly turning your phone on silent.

He shook his head and shifted his legs while letting out a big yawn. “I smelled the soup.” he croaked out with a giggle, sitting up slightly so his back was against the pillows.

You suddenly remember why you came in the room in the first place and scramble to first hand him the water and tablets, watching as he gulps it down before handing it back. You switch and hand him the bowl of soup, a grin growing on his face as he saw it was his favorite homemade chicken noodle soup you had introduced to him when he first got sick after you became a couple.

“I don’t know what I did in my past life to deserve you.” he whispered as he blew on a spoonful before digging in. You simply nodded as you looked down at your fingers, your previous thoughts making a dangerous return to the front of your brain.

As Jun neared halfway through the bowl, he realized you hadn’t said anything. You weren’t usually one to talk much anyways, but it was starting to nag at him since you were the same in the car. Were you mad at him for not saying anything before? Were you starting to not feel well yourself? He would hate it if he got anyone else sick, especially you.

You jumped when Jun’s warm hand was suddenly on your forehead, then your cheeks, mimicking what you had done hours before. Your eyes grew wider as he leaned forward looking you over before meeting your eyes.

“What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?” he questioned, eyes growing intense the longer you didn’t answer.

“I’m fine.” you squeaked out, him giving you a look that told you he didn’t buy that at all. “Really I’m okay. Just a little tired is all.” you lied.

You could tell he still didn’t accept your excuse, but offered a solution for it anyways. “Do you want to lay down? We can put on a movie, anything you want.” he said and before you knew it he was throwing the blankets off and moving to get up.

“No! Lay down, don’t get up.” you yelped as you placed both hands on his chest and pushed him back down as he puffed.

“My legs aren't broken Y/N, I can still get up and walk around.” he said with a playful tone.

You quickly retracted your hands as if he burned you, causing his smile to drop. He watched as you fought with yourself, between wanting to tuck him back in and instead returning your hands to play with each other in front of your stomach, the nervous habit he picked up after a while. It was small, but you only tend to do it when something was nagging at the back of your mind.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t be so overbearing, but I just…” you trailed off. “I just want you to get better quickly, that’s all.” you whispered, so quiet he almost didn’t hear the way your voice cracked at the end.

“Overbearing?” he asked. “What’s that mean? I know you just want the best for me.” he said quietly as he reached for your hand and gently pulled it towards him, intertwining your fingers.

You nodded in agreement and looked down, feeling a lump in your throat, but did your best to push it away. For heaven's sake, he was sick and here you were, on the verge of crying about nothing.

“Now do you want to talk to me and tell me what’s going on in the pretty head of yours?” Jun asked patiently. He always got it out of you in the end and he knew exactly how to. A chuckle left him as you shook your head and continued staring at the ground.

“Are you really tired?” he asked.

You shook your head.

“Are you starting to feel sick as well?”

You shook your head.

He hummed to himself in thought. “Maybe you're hungry?”

You shook your head.

“Is it something I did?”

It took a second longer, but you shook your head. He knew he was getting warmer.

“Was it something I said?”

Your head stayed still, not wanting to admit what had you in such a dark cloud of thought. You used your free hand to cover your face, starting to feel the hot tears breaking through.

“Was I mean earlier?” he panicked, not wanting to see you cry a second longer. “In the practice room?”

You shook your head once more.

“In the car?”

The dam suddenly broke and you couldn't control your emotions any longer. He was quick to pull you into his chest and run his fingers through your hair as he kept you close.

“I’m sorry.” you choke out, voice muffled.

“Why are you apologizing?” he let out a dry laugh of disbelief. “If I’m correct, I was the one who said something in the car that upset you this much, I’m the one that’s sorry honey.”

“No, don’t apologize!” you cried out in frustration. You pulled away, but he refused to let you go, opting for holding your arms as you furiously wiped your tears. “I’m the one that needs to be sorry. I mean, you’re sick! You’re sick and I’m making this all about me for no reason, it was stupid and I shouldn’t get in my own head and I know that. I just want to help, I love you and want to see you happy and healthy and I know I can be a lot and clingy and too much. I don’t mean to make you feel bad and I just want to take care of you, but you need to tell me if you don’t want me around or need me to leave you alone. I don’t want you to think I’m wasting my time because you mean everything to me and I just-”

Jun placed his hands on your cheeks, slightly squishing so you couldn’t talk anymore. He lifted your head so he would be able to see your face, but you closed your eyes, not wanting to see his reaction to the mess you were.

“Baby, please look at me.” he said softly. After a couple moments, you shyly opened your eyes to meet his, swimming with emotion and glossy from unshed tears.

“You need to know I didn’t mean it like that, what I said in the car.” he cooed, unable to keep the waver from his words. “I only said that because I feel guilty for always having you take care of and look after me, even when I’m healthy.” he moved his hands so his thumbs were wiping your tears. He moved them to your jaw to keep you looking at him as he began to massage the behind of your ears, making you relax more.

“It doesn’t matter the day or time or where we are. If I’m sick or not, your feelings still matter more than anything. If it makes you upset, it’s not stupid. It’s actually really important because I need you to tell me as well. You’re not clingy, or overbearing, or too much. You’re the most gentle, kind-hearted, and loving person I’ve ever met. Even if I didn’t like being smothered as much as I do, I would still let you because the fact that you're willing to, let alone like taking care of me already makes you the best girlfriend in the entire universe. And I would let you do anything that makes you happy.”

You sniffle as he leans forward and presses a light kiss to your forehead. You close your eyes for a moment, relishing in the feeling of his pillowy lips and the passion you can feel from the simple action. He barely pulled back before beginning to pepper your face with small pecks, eventually making you giggle which allowed the tightness to lift from his chest.

He pulled you up and onto his bed before setting you right on top of him, your legs mixing together and head resting on his chest, listening to his breathing comfortably. The feeling of his hand rubbing your back made your worries drift away, everything you were thinking before seeming so absurd all of a sudden.

“How could I not want you by my side every second of every day?” he murmured. “I would be insane, you would have to put me in a hospital, cause I obviously would have lost my mind to ever feel that way.”

You chuckled at his ridiculous claims, but couldn’t help the pink that tinted your cheeks at the feeling. Him in your arms, so close and telling you how he truly feels gives you a warmth in your chest that no hot drink or fluffy blanket could compare to.

“You mean the world to me too.” he said as he adjusted you both so you were laying flat on the bed. He pulled the blanket up and over your bodies before wrapping his arms around your waist and closing his eyes. “I love you, my little overthinker.” he teased.

You lightly poked his side in protest to the new nickname, causing him to squirm before smiling. “Shut up.” you mumbled.

I love you too.

Just Friends (Joshua Hong)

HELLO! We interrupt Bee’s mini requests to post a request from me! I’m posting now because I feel bad that I haven’t been posting lately and I’m about to leave for some vacations, so I don’t know when I’ll be posting again???? Have a good couple weeks everyone! Life’s crazy! (Also this was bee’s request so hi)(also i swear i’m working on the other requests they’re coming i promise)

Requested

You weren’t certain of a lot of things, but there were certain things you were 100% certain of: 

1. If there was even a 10% chance of rain and you didn’t take an umbrella, it would downpour. 

2. My Neighbor Totoro would forever be your favorite movie. 

3. Since moving to Seoul, Joshua Hong somehow managed to worm his way into being your best friend. 

4. You were pretty sure you were in love with him. 

5. You hated number 4. 

It’s not that there was anything wrong with Joshua. In fact, some could call him perfect. He just… Wasn’t what you saw your heart wanting. It wasn’t until almost a year into your friendship that you realized your feelings weren’t entirely platonic. Joshua had called you in the middle of the night to get some drinks, which you agreed to for some reason. 

He spent the whole night letting out his frustrations of his upcoming comeback (idol problems), you completely zoning out. You had a long day and wanted nothing more than to go back to your apartment and go to sleep. 

“Y/N.” You faintly heard, but not really. “Y/N!” This time you turned your head, seeing Joshua very close to your face. You froze as your noses almost touched. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, you blinking and quickly nodding your head. “You sure? You looked extremely zoned out.” You looked at Joshua’s lips as he talked, wondering why they looked so soft all of a sudden? Your senses flooded back into your head, causing you to lean back in your seat, clearing your throat. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m totally fine.” Joshua raised an eyebrow, but shrugged. 

“If you say so. Would you just listen to me for 2 seconds then? I don’t ask for much out of this friendship.” He grinned, taking a sip of his drink. You weren’t sure why, but the word friendship made your heart ache just a bit. You took another sip, zoning out as he continued to talk again. 

You woke up the next morning with the horrifying realization. 

Joshua Hong hadn’t just wormed his way into being your friend. 

He had wormed his way into your heart. 

That single thought terrified you more than anything you had ever done. 

Your head raced the next couple days, wondering what you should do. You could just pretend to ignore it, let the feelings pass and Joshua would never have to know a thing. You could also try talking to him about it and seeing what he thought of that. Or feel out what he was feeling and see if maybe-

No. No way, Joshua Hong doesn’t feel that way about you. He sees you as his friend. Therefore, you wouldn’t talk to him about this. 

Still, you couldn’t help but notice little things that might have indicated he liked you? 

Like if you two were going out in public, he always gave you his face mask to give you just a little more animosity. Or if you two were walking somewhere, sometimes he’s put a hand on your back casually while talking to you. You slowly started to notice he had this dumb soft face that he seemed to mainly direct towards you (sometimes his younger members, but mostly you). He also consistently brushed your hair from your face… 

Nope. If Joshua liked you, he would have told you. He wouldn’t have chickened out like you did. 

You were getting really good at dealing with your feelings, sure they would leave any day now, and then you had a weird conversation with the rest of the vocal unit. 

“Where’d Joshua go?” Seungkwan asked, eating some of the food he and Jeonghan went to get. 

“Isn’t he on his date?” Seokmin asked, taking a bite as well. You froze with food in midair, your mouth hanging open, looking at the floor. You just saw Jihoon out of the corner of your eye throwing some bread at Seokmin. 

“He’s on a date?” You looked up, slowly putting your food down. The two older members in the room looked at each other, silently deciding what to say. “With who?” 

“Some… Person his grandmother set him up with. It’s really not a big deal, he’s not that excited about it. But you know… It’s his grandmother, he couldn’t really say no.” Jeonghan explained, and you nodded. 

“Huh.” You said, a little betrayed at yourself for the hurt that came in your voice. “Good for him.” 

“It’s seriously nothing you have to worry about Y/N.” Seokmin said, and you looked at him. 

“Why would have to worry about anything?” All 4 boys looked at each other. 

“Wait, do we have to have this conversation too?” Jihoon said, setting down his food. “Fine, okay. Y/N, we all know how you feel about Joshua.” 

“What are you-”

“We all see the way you look at him. Even when you’re messing with him there’s this little sparkle in your eye.” Seungkwan said, giving you a look. “Vernon even noticed, and he only pays attention like, 60% of the time.” You looked at each of the boys, slowly nodding their heads. 

“...Does he know?” You asked, your voice very small. 

“Not at all. In fact, he’s extremely convinced you only see him as a friend.” Jeonghan said, looking at his phone quickly. He slid a finger on the screen, answering the call. “Hey, speak of the devil.” 

“Is that Joshua?” Seungkwan asked, looking over at him. Jeonghan just nodded his head. 

“How was the date?” Jeonghan listened for a couple seconds, sort of not looking towards you. “Rea- Really? It went good? That’s… Awesome.” Jeonghan looked up at you apologetically. “No really, that’s great. Since you’re done do did you want to stop by the studio?” 

“Sorry Y/N.” Seokmin said, putting a hand on your shoulder. 

“Yeah, we all just got some dinner. The whole vocal unit is here, plus Y/N is here… Yeah they’re here.” Jeonghan looked over at you again as you took a bite of food. “Yeah, they’re right in front of me. Why don’t you just… Okay, I guess. I’ll see you later then.” Jeonghan hung up his phone, a confused look on his face. 

“What happened?” Jihoon asked, slightly sneaking looks at you. 

“He uh… He had something to do.” He muttered, putting his phone back in his pocket. 

“He doesn’t want to see me?” You looked at him, suddenly feeling very hurt. 

“Y/N, that’s not-”

“No, it has to be. You mention I’m here and suddenly he doesn’t want to come.” You put your utensil down, standing up. “Look I’m just going to go-”

“Wait, Y/N, please stay! Finish your food at least.” Seungkwan offered, and you shook your head. 

“I’m not hungry anymore.” You muttered, walking out of the room. 

*

“Hey, have you heard from Y/N recently?” Joshua asked, pulling out his phone to check another time if you had texted him back. You hadn’t. 

“Yeah, they sent me some ideas for Cheol’s birthday.” Jeonghan shrugged, and Joshua pouted at his phone. “Haven’t you?” 

“Not for a couple days…” Joshua sent you another message, hoping you would respond to that one. 

“Oh, what did you want to talk to me about?” 

“Hm?” Joshua looked at Jeonghan, slightly confused. 

“The other day, when you called after your date. You said you had to stop by your grandma’s, but you wanted to talk to me when you got back. What was it?” 

“Oh.” Joshua blushed, putting his phone on the table. “That.” 

“Any day now.” 

“Well, for a while now I feel like I’ve had this… major crush on someone, and that night kind of confirmed that I do.” 

“With the person from the date?” Jeonghan nodded, but widened his eyes when Joshua shook his head. 

“I mean, they were really nice and it was a great date. It’s just… I kept thinking about someone else.” 

“Who?” Jeonghan looked at him, a little nervous. 

“Y/N.” 

“Oh no…” Jeonghan muttered, quickly opening his phone to send you a message asking where you were. 

“What?” Joshua looked at him concerned. “Why is that bad?” 

“Because Y/N happens to feel the same about you.” Jeonghan said, distracted waiting for you to text back. 

“Wh… What?!” 

“They like you a lot but after the other day they think that you like this new person.” Jeonghan half looked up, looking back down as his phone dinged. 

“Wait… Are you serious?” 

“They’re at the cafe down the street.” Jeonghan said, shooing at Joshua. 

“What?” 

“Go talk to them! Now!” Jeonghan stood up pulling Joshua up with him. “Go! Confess! Now!” Joshua looked at him in confusion, turning and walking out of the room. 

*

You grabbed your coffee, waiting for Jeonghan to respond to your question. Why did he suddenly want to know where you were? You sighed, about to leave the cafe. You opened the door and jumped as a person appeared on the other side. 

“Y/N!” You looked up, heart stopping at seeing Joshua staring at you. 

“...Hey.” You said, not sure what to say to the boy you were avoiding. 

“I was looking for you.” 

“How did you know where to find me?” You asked, stepping past him to the sidewalk, Joshua following. 

“Jeonghan told me.” 

“Oh you snake.” You muttered, looking at your phone. “So… Why were you looking for me?” 

“Because I need to ask you something.” Joshua said, matching step in step with you. 

“Okay, so ask-”

“Do you want to go out with me?” You stopped, looking at him. 

“What?” 

“Do you want to go out with me? On a date?” 

“Are you serious? You like me?” You looked at him. “I thought you just thought of me as just a friend…” To your surprise, Joshua’s face turned bright red. 

“I like to think we were more than just friends…” Joshua muttered, looking down at his shoes. 

“Seriously?”  

“Yeah.”

“What about your other date?” You said, raising an eyebrow. 

“They were nice, but I spent the whole night thinking about you.” 

“Really?”

“Yes, Y/N! I can’t stop thinking about you! I’ve had a crush on you for months! Would you please just tell me if you want to go out with me or not-”

“Okay.” You said, a smile forming on your face. Joshua stared at you with wide eyes. 

“Really?” 

“Yes, I happen to have a crush on you too.” 

“You… You do?” 

“Yep.” 

“Okay…” Joshua said, the smile returning to his face. “Okay, neat.” 

“Neat? Your crush tells you they like you too and you say neat?” 

“I just… Didn’t think it would get this far.” 

“You’re a dork, Joshua Hong.” You grinned. 

“And you’re dating me.”

                                       MGA SEASON FIVE     ∙       duos performance

                                           𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗿     :     𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲

                 performing may we bye by onestar feat. chen, 2:25-4:25 (chen’s part)

     @rkjeonghxn​ / @danielxrk​ / @rkxsungwoon​ / @rkpwj​ / @rkkenta​ / @rkyq / @rksuwoong

oh,  he thinks a little after the decision is out in the air,  when the judges have already moved onto discussing the next stage and the air grows suffocating as realization settles in slowly.  he stares ahead,  unflinching,  and clenches his fists in his lap.  the sheet of iron ever present over his expression remains long after recording is done and when he’s finally on his way home with the others.

oh.  

the glimmer of hope the eliminated contestants are given after the fact does very little to calm the conclusion he’s reached from the moment his name is called  --  not good enough.  huh.

surprising how much it hurts,  a phantom pain in his chest that aches when he gives his friends a smile and reassures them he’d expected the result.  it’s not a lie per se,  really isn’t,  except perhaps he’s been fooling himself since the beginning,  clutching onto a thread of hope and praying to a god he’s not sure is out there when his mind is unusually blank and the pressure grows.  the little mercies come with the idea everyone else survived,  empty enigma will go on even if he failed here,  they didn’t fall the way he did.

the shot of redemption should be enlightening  --  instead it’s cold and he wonders what he’s even doing here anymore.  

he can’t bring himself to look at yuqi after the decision is spoken into the void,  doesn’t want to face how he’s failed her.  the judges’ comments are right to point out how she was top three the previous week but now on the verge of going home.  he wonders what he could’ve improved  --  was it too boring?  did he not express himself enough?  

no matter.

he doesn’t let himself fret on it too long,  instead his attention falling upon reassuring his friends he’s okay,  he’s always okay.  hwang minhyun doesn’t wear sadness well,  has learned to conceal growing up in the environment that he did,  and so he hugs daniel back and allows a quiet sigh of disappointment to fall from his lips as he pats the other’s back.  

“i’ll do my best to make you proud,”  he says generally to the whole group,  summoning something resembling a hopeful smile.  “wait for me,  i’ll be back.”  it’s like a plea,  let me be good enough, he whispers unconsciously into the air,  paired with let them make it through another round,  they deserve it.  

the presence of cameras still weighs heavy on his presence,  and so he offers woojin only the most pleasant smile he can,  and promises they’ll discuss it further when they’re home,  doesn’t dare look at kenta for too long,  much less know what he can say to sungwoon.  the idea he can prolong the discussion a little longer is a small relief,  but minhyun embraces it nevertheless.

his new partner,  however,  is a sense of entertainment to a certain degree.  a little funny considering how it seems jeonghan and daniel have some bad blood,  though he’s not entirely aware of the extent,  nor how far his partner’s distaste for his friend went,  if he could be considered guilty by association.  

their initial meeting is one begun with raised brows and unwavering stares.  jeonghan quickly earns his respect,  and minhyun can’t deny he doesn’t know the other well enough to justify much less.  the partnership is an experience he’ll look back on in the future,  wry and accompanied by a calmness up until game day.

they rehearse in a practice room courtesy of jeonghan’s student status at k-arts,  and the rising bitterness crawls up his throat and settle upon his lips that curl back into a wry but unsettled attempt at a smile as he stares around the campus,  the room,  everything he realizes could’ve been him.  he could’ve been a student here if he’d accepted the offer,  could’ve continued pursing music with a renowned passion instead of settling for less.

the idea stays with him as he and jeonghan go through the selected track,  something that tugs at the heartstrings and begs one to look upon their past and felt on a heartbreak that left its scars.  they listen once,  twice,  three times before minhyun truly feels they made the right decision.  he’s come to doubt his own preferences,  and a part of him wondered if the judges would express their disappointment once more,  if he’d have to sit there through it all and then meet his bandmates and tell them that no,  i wasn’t good enough for them.

his lack of confidence is almost sickening,  a sensation that weighs him down as he stares at himself in the reflection of the door before making it inside and going towards the destination the eliminated trainees had been summoned.  he feels like he’s cattle on a farm,  ushered to the will of people given much power and affluence.  he wonders when he let it all come down to this.

he thinks of the odd tension in the share-house,  half-pretending he’s okay,  half-motivated to just do better,  tip-toeing around the others and feeling more or less the same back from the majority.  things have always been tender and delicate between him and kenta,  though he’s yet to acknowledge it,  to do anything to address the neglected elephant in the room.  he falls back on normalcy to remain sane,  and spends his free time simply practicing.  

there’s an encounter with suwoong that does much to cheer minhyun’s spirits,  the other coming over with chicken and drinks,  and despite the polar opposites the two remained in personality,  minhyun comes out of the night a refreshed person,  lighter even.  it helps that he too feels like he might’ve helped the other in any way,  even if it were with mediocre advice and a simple ear lent with the promise to listen,  but his soft spot for the friend remains secure,  even as he waves him off later casually,  and reminds him  --  chill.

he should really take his own advice.

daniel and sungwoon are easier to be around,  though also harder in little ways.  they’re more known,  walking incarnations of the confidence and talent he strives to reach,  but the slightly pathetic feelings do little to shelter the proudness he can’t deny.  he meets woojin’s eyes too many times to count,  the other remaining mute despite his initial attempt to communicate with him when the results were first aired.  for a moment,  he wonders if the other had been disappointed in him too  --  at least until the final moment.  when woojin wishes him a good luck,  minhyun reaches out and pinches his cheek gently,  a move done in affection,  and returns the sentiment.

he has great friends,  and for that,  he is thankful.

the room feels more empty this time,  with just the six trainees and those monitoring them with critical gazes already inclined towards the thought they’d failed this competition once.  if this is his end,  so be it  --  it’ll make a lasting expression for time to come.  he wonders for a moment,  while looking over at the other pairs,  if he should’ve texted yuqi best wishes,  but holds the regret to fester later.

jeonghan and him are the first pair to be called up,  a chill travelling down his spine as he stands and looks to his partner.  “i believe in us,”  he says,  giving himself a second to compose his own thoughts yet failing back on something overwhelmingly cheesy regardless.  the ends of his lips rise into something genuine,  and following the other’s words,  he nods,  “let’s do this.”

they have utilized stools as part of the performance,  perched away from each other and delivering different messages of a collective whole.  introductions out of the way,  minhyun simply offers his name and a promise to showcase their best.  the song is doused in the idea of heartbreak,  and as minhyun sits there,  the instrumental opening to the track beginning to set the tone,  he feels it reflect upon his own heart.  he closes his eyes and begins his verse.

i'm fine but suddenly you break into my thoughts. whenever it is, i part with you again

jeonghan joins him at the end,  and their voices mingle together to create what he deems a powerful harmony of emotion.  then,  comes his own lines,  solo and channeling the necessary feelings he wanted to convey.

how can i love again after meeting someone else?

jeonghan takes over,  and minhyun nods slowly,  awaiting his cue to join back in.  it was easy to get lost in the way jeonghan sang,  full of emotion and delivered with the talent of someone who was confident in his own skills  --  he feels fortunate with his duo partnership.

one day, when I meet you, i will tell you my story how painful and hard it was for me

there are scattered high notes exchanged through the song,  switching between him and jeonghan,  challenging him in way he hasn’t been particularly challenged before.  the slightly desperate last chance perhaps sings through in the way the duo perform,  giving it their all and searching for a validation they shouldn’t want to this degree,  a necessity in this industry.  he can’t speak for jeonghan,  but minhyun’s quest for approval taunts him day in and out,  and here he stands once more,  yearning.  

at that time, take those awkward love and memories. i want you to be hard as i am go away

he puts his all into delivering the notes as perfectly as one such as him can,  matched evenly with jeonghan’s passion.  the music quiets down,  and minhyun straightens as he readies himself,  eyes shining as the end approaches.  no matter the results,  he tells himself he can only plea acceptance,  no lingering self-doubt.

how can i love again, after meeting someone else?

his voice starts softer,  eyes closed once more,  slowly building into the high note,  an octaves higher than he was used to performing since his musical production days,  but he follows through the best he can.  he continues his part of vocalization as jeonghan sings through his verse,  and although he may not have eyes on the other,  he’d go as far as to say he can feel him,  through his voice,  through the connection they’d made in the past week.

we were beautiful

his voice grows gentler,  both hands coming up to clutch the mic as he works through the note.  then comes the finale  --  sweet and twinged with a bittersweet end.

now goodbye

he lets the moment sit,  before opening his eyes.

On-Air | Vernon/Hansol (V)

genre: fluff, comedy, slight angst, college au | vernon x radio personality!reader summary: under the pseudonym Honey, you are the host of the most popular radio show in the city called Honey Time Radio where you give advice about relationships, school, and life in general. when it comes to your own love-life, however, you don’t have the best luck, and you don’t even follow your own advice! so what happens when you get a call from a listener who’s asking you advice on how to get to your heart? word count: 3468 a/n: thank you all for the support thus far! it’s 4:30 am good night i need sleep lol. several warnings: swearing, alcohol, lots of platonic wonwoo x reader, and american fraternity life. as seen on my ao3

part iv, vi

“A party tonight, huh?” Wonwoo said, swinging around in his chair. “What kind of party?”

“What do you mean what kind of party, it’s a college party,” you said as-a-matter-of-factly.

“The type of college party that Hansol invited you to is just as important as the invite itself!”

“How?”

“If it’s a birthday party, he’s trying to claim you. Well, claim is such a terrible word, but I don’t know how else to explain it. Assuming the birthday party is most likely hosted by someone he’s close to, he wants to show you off to his friends and show you how serious he is. A fraternity party, on the other hand, is way different.”

“So what if he’s taking me to a frat party?”

“Fraternity, you uncultured swine, not frat,” Wonwoo scolded. “And I’ll kill him.”

“What, why!?”

“The sole purpose of a fraternity hosting a party that isn’t the afterset to one of their cancer-saving bullshit philanthropy events is to get the entire house laid. Lots of drunk, sexy people in one room gets things going, you know? Trust me on this one, I know from hands-on experience and it works every time, so if he’s trying to take you to a damn Sigma Tau party, I’ll kill him. Their parties always suck, anyways.”

“I always forget that you’re in a fraternity,” you snorted.

“Why? I’m hot enough to be in one.”

“It’s because you’re such a fuckin’ nerd.”

“Nerds can wear letters, too, you independent,” he pouted. “So what kind of party is it?”

“It’s Soonyoung’s birthday party.”

“Oh, cool! I’ll see you there then.”

“You’re going!? Thanks for the invite!” you scolded.

“I swear I was going to invite you literally right after this discussion. But hey, Hansol beat me to it, so good for him.”

“I’m not cool enough to be invited to parties, ok, that’s why I rely on you to tell me once you get the invite!”

“It slipped my mind, I’m sorry! I’ll remember next time!”

“Can I go with you tonight?”

“Why? Hansol’s not picking you up?”

“He’s helping set up, so he’ll be there already.”

“I mean, I guess we could go together,” he said sarcastically. “Just don’t, you know, do what you always do and look awkward.”

“I might as well not go at all.”

“I’m kidding! But you have to take a shot with me once we walk in, no chaser.”

“Of what…”

“Silver tequila ~”

“You’re the devil incarnate,” you groaned, feeling yourself gagging already. “Fine.”

“Hurray! HonWoo ‘bouta turn up!”

“Never say that again. Hurry and press the button,” you sighed, slumping in your seat. Tonight was going to be a long night and you had no idea what to expect. But now wasn’t the time to worry.

“On-air in three… two… one…”

“What’s up, everyone!?” you greeted. “You’re on-air with Honey Time Radio, with Honey at the mic and Dj Wonwoo on the beat. It is a warm, thirsty Thursday evening, which means $10 bottles of soju at Ahjooma’s Corner! Make sure you stop on by and grab a bottle of soju while you’re eating with your friends, your significant other, or even your employer whom you’re trying to get drunk so you can get that raise! Mine and Wonwoo’s favorite flavor is the green apple soju. This is definitely sponsored content, but I was not paid to say that Ahjooma’s Corner has the best soondubu-jjigae ever, besides my mother’s. Love you, mom!

“For our first segment of the show tonight, we have a submission sent in by an anonymous listener. ‘Hey, Honey & Wonwoo! I’m a returning listener who has called for advice before, but I’m too nervous to call again because my identity might be found out! So here’s the thing; there’s this guy that I have been trying to get his attention, but every time I try, I either chicken out or he leaves right away to talk to someone else! I tried your advice last time, like small conversation starters, but I don’t think he’s that kind of person. There’s a party tonight and he’s going to be there. If he’s not into small talk, what do you think I should do?’”

You squinted at the submission on your laptop screen. Why did this scenario sound so familiar?

“Sounds like you’re in quite the pickle, anonymous,” you commented, a bit discouraged that your advice didn’t work, but glad they came back to ask. “You must really like him, huh? Well, if my advice didn’t work last time, I’d hate to ruin it a second time. Maybe Wonwoo can help?”

“Really!? Ah, it’s my time to shine!” he said while cracking his knuckles. “My advice is coming from my perspective - a guy’s perspective. I’m a lot like your guy in the sense that I hate small talk, too. I feel like the party scene is a lot easier to work with because you have a lot more leeway to break the ice. Does your guy like to drink? Ask him if he wants you to get a drink and start talking that way. Does he like drinking games? Ask him to be your partner. Does he like to dance? This one’s a bit more daring, but if you know how to bump n’ grind on the dance floor, that’ll really get his attention, if you know what I mean ~” Wonwoo chuckled at your gross expression. “It seems like he doesn’t like his time being wasted, so get straight to the point right away. Hope that helps.”

“You know, usually I would rather eat the cafeteria food than listen to Wonwoo’s advice, but that was actually pretty good…” you mused. “We should switch roles for a night.”

“I would never let you touch my soundboard. Only my fingers can make such magical sounds.”

“Why do you say things like that, it’s so weird… Anyways, we wish you all the best, Anonymous! Let us know how it went. Let’s take our first caller!”

“And that’s all for tonight, everyone. Tomorrow rings in a new day, so make sure you take the bull by the horns and seize it. Or something along those lines. You understand, what I mean, right? I’d like to give a special shoutout to a special listener by the name of Soonyoung. Happy birthday, Soonyoung! Stay safe at your party tonight. And as always, everyone else stay safe tonight, too. Use our Lyft code aka our official ship name, #HonWoo, for 20% off your ride. Thanks for listening, everyone. This is Honey signing off.”

“How did you manage to get us an Ahjooma’s Corner ad and a Lyft code?” Wonwoo asked after pressing the offline button. “The step team has been trying to get sponsors from both of them since forever!”

“Jeonghan’s like, the head chef or whatever at Ahjooma’s Corner and Seungkwan’s the brand ambassador for Lyft.”

“Seungkwan, that pink bastard,” Wonwoo cursed. “Are you going back to your apartment to change?”

“Yeah, I can’t go there looking like this.”

“Good, ‘cuz you look like trash.”

“You’re a great friend.”

When you got back to your apartment, it was already 10:30 which was thirty minutes after the party started but thirty minutes before the party started. In those remaining thirty minutes, you spent twenty-five of those throwing out every outfit you tried on, unsatisfied with the results.

“Yah, what’s taking you so long!?” Wonwoo yelled from your couch. “All the jungle juice is gonna be gone!”

“I don’t know what to wear!”

“It’s a fucking party, not the Yule Ball!”

“Can you shut up!? I’m done, for Christ’s sake!”

“If you take any longer, I’m gonna get you so drunk that Hansol’s gonna be the one carrying your ass back here -”

Wonwoo’s blabbering mouth fell silent when you left your room all ready to go. He didn’t know how you did it, but you managed to fix your hair, face, and get dressed in such a short amount of time and still look decent. Tonight, you didn’t look like _____. Tonight, you looked like Honey.

“Damn,” he said. “You look… put together for once. Tryna shake up Hansol?”

“Ugh, you complimenting me makes me feel uglier somehow.”

“I try to be nice one time…”

The walk to Soonyoung’s didn’t more than ten minutes. When you were a block away from the house, you could already hear the bumping music, loud cheers, and see the bright, colorful strobe lights. This party looked like it was straight out of an American college party movie, making Mingyu’s party look like the seventh grade sock hop.

“Jisoo Christ,” Wonwoo whistled. “Soonyoung really meant it when he said he was going to outdo his twenty-first…”

“Someone’s gotta clean all of that up eventually…”

“That’s what pledges are for,” he smirked. “C’mon, you promised me a tequila shot.”

The inside of the house was moist - it wreaked of booze, sweat, and lots of sugar. You and Wonwoo squeezed your way through the crowd to the kitchen, exchanging hellos to familiar faces and quick kisses on the cheek from drunk friends (who knew Minghao was so affectionate when drunk?)

A tall, double shot of clear poison glared at you, accompanied by its groupies lime and salt. The more you smelled the ethanol-like stench of tequila, the more you felt yourself gag.

“Cheers to a good night, _____,” Wonwoo said as you both raised your glasses. “May the alcohol be ever in our favor.”

With the cling of the glass, you licked the mound of salt, downed the juice, and sucked on a lime wedge. No amount of limes and salt could ease the burn of liquor travelling down your throat. One double shot in and you already felt like dying.

“Ha,” Wonwoo giggled. “Look at your face.”

“Taking a shot without the birthday boy!?” A familiar voice yelled, swinging his bare arm around your shoulder. A sweaty Soonyoung hugged you tightly as he grabbed a shot glass of his own. “Pour me one, Wonwoo.”

“Ugh, can’t we take something else?” you groaned, still not over the taste.

“Does Hennessey suit your needs, Princess _____?”

“Can I get a chaser?”

“Nuh uh, shorty,” Soonyoung grinned. “House rules - any shot with the birthday boy is straight.”

“God, you’re such a bro.” The gold liquid didn’t sting as much as tequila, but didn’t really taste any better. You felt the intoxication take over your body, hazing your vision, but you didn’t mind at all, although you probably should have ate before coming… Soonyoung squeezed your shoulder as a thank you for taking a shot with him.

“Have you seen Hansol?” you yelled over the music.

“You’re like the third girl that’s asked me tonight. Is it his birthday, too, or something!?” he pouted.

“Well, he’s the one that invited me -”

“He probably invited every fucking girl here,” he snorted. “He’s probably on the dance floor.”

“I’ll be heading there, then.”

“Wait, me too!”

Soonyoung had his hands over your shoulders, guiding you through the house to the living room, where the real party was happening. A sober Mingyu was the Dj for tonight, who apparently claimed that after his birthday, he was never going to drink again, or at least until after midterms. The entire room was packed with people, bodies swaying and grinding to the music, that you couldn’t even distinguish faces.

“Do you see him?” you asked Soonyoung, who clung to you closer in his drunk state.

“Yeah, but he seems a bit preoccupied…”

Your eyes followed to where Soonyoung pointed. Right in the middle of the dance floor was a flushed Hansol, grinding behind some poor soul who got caught in the same trap you were in. Even in your tipsy state, you recognized her - she was the same girl who Hansol said was bland at Mingyu’s party, the same girl who called that night to ask for advice on how to get his attention, and the same girl who anonymously sent you a submission a few hours ago on how to actually get his attention.

God, how could you be so stupid and not put the pieces together?

“Hyejin actually did it,” Soonyoung cheered behind you. “She’s been trying to talk to Hansol since their freshman year. About fuckin’ time. Who knew Wonwoo gave great advice.”

Oh, that’s right. Wonwoo was the one who advised her.

Do all guys think the fucking same?

Hyejin turned around, now facing Hansol as he kept his arms tightly wrapped around her tiny waist. Their faces were so close, any closer they would be making out and it made you want to throw up. In a room full of sweaty, sexually-driven drunk adults, the spotlight was on them, at least to you it was. The alcohol was really starting to kick in as your mind flashed through every smile, every laugh, and every form of affection that Hansol ever gave you.

In those moments, in such a short amount of time, you felt like you could fly.

But now, you felt like just another check off his list. And he was another one off of yours.

Six. That made six total guys who fucked you over.

Should you even be surprised at this point? But maybe you were overreacting… It’s not like you were even officially together. But why did it still hurt?

“Are you ok?” Soonyoung asked, shaking your shoulders. “You’re not going to throw up, are you? ‘Cuz that would suck.”

You snatched a cup of mystery drink from someone’s hand and chugged it down, ignoring the taste of cheap cinnamon liquer.

“Wanna dance?” you asked bitterly.

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that?” he slurred. “Years, _____, years. Fucking finally, let’s go.”

You were shocked when Soonyoung gently took your hand and led you towards the middle of the dance floor. You were even more shocked that you were having a lot of fun using him as a distraction to get your mind off of Hansol for the night.

But you were most shocked when you locked eyes with a Hansol after the fifth song with Soonyoung.

You weren’t even dancing that risque with him. Dancing with Soonyoung was filled with laughs and smiles from the goofiness that you shared together. Hansol watched you hunch over from laughing so hard too many times for him to count. You may not have had your ass grinding up against Soonyoung crotch, but not once did you let go of his hand. He twirled you, dipped you, swung you around like a boyfriend would.

Somehow imagining you grinding up against Soonyoung seemed less painful than the scene before him.

When you saw Hansol looking at you, you might have felt guilty from seeing how pale his face was if he wasn’t still glued to Hyejin. But since that was the case, you broke the chilling eye contact quickly and put all your attention to Soonyoung. It was satisfying knowing that you could finally get payback for all the shit you fell for.

“_____ ~!” Soonyoung groaned, tired from all the dancing. “I need to rehydrate!”

“Jungle juice?” you challenged.

“Jungle juice!”

“Wonwoo ~!” you screeched, stumbling into the kitchen. After the whole dance floor incident, you spent the rest of the night drinking whatever was in front of you to numb your entire body, Now it was almost three in the morning and you were drunk off your ass and achieved the optimal amount of numbness. Most of the guests left the house with the exception of Wonwoo and Soonyoung’s friends and a couple of girls that wanted to stay. This included Hansol and Hyejin, who stood next to each other with at least one inch of space between them for once.

You let out an obnoxious groan at the sight.

“What, you alcoholic?” he teased.

“Take me home.”

“Why don’t you ask Han -”

“HONEY TIME RADIO,” you interrupted loudly, causing Wonwoo’s eyes to widen. You didn’t even want to hear his name. “Is… A great show…!”

“Oh, I love Honey Time!” Soonyoung chimed, wrapping his arm around you again.

“Ew, since when were you two this close?” Wonwoo asked.

“Since… Today! Happy birthday!” you cheered. “Please, can you take me home…?”

“You can stay the night if you want,” Soonyoung offered.

“Nope, nuh-uh, I won’t allow it. Hansol, walk her home -”

“Ugh, shut up for once, Wonwoo!” you scolded. The whole room was silent at your outburst, but you didn’t care. You certainly didn’t care for Hansol’s hurt expression, either. “Forget it, I’ll go by myself.”

“Yah, _____ -!”

You stormed off into the dark streets. The beginning of the night was a lot warmer, but now you could feel every goosebump on your exposed skin. It felt numbing, but you didn’t care anymore. You were drunk, exhausted, and over it.

You knew someone was following behind you. You hoped it was either Wonwoo, Soonyoung, and even Mingyu, but you prayed to God it wasn’t Hansol - he was the last person you wanted to see. But normally, Wonwoo would be nagging you for being such a brat just now, Soonyoung would have walked really close to you, and Mingyu would have pulled you into a headlock. But the person behind you did neither of those things.

Hansol watched the way you walked in front of him. At first, your stride was angry - you stomped the concrete like you hate it. To be honest, it was really cute. But then you progressively got slower, dragging your feet and hanging your head low. You looked tired - no, exhausted - mentally, physically, emotionally, and it was all his fault.

You felt a heavy jacket get thrown over you shoulders before you fell face-first on the grass in front of you.

“Oh, shit,” Hansol said, kneeling beside you. “My bad. Are you ok?”

“Don’t touch me,” you muttered into the ground. “I’ll just lay here.”

“Then I’ll lay with you.”

“No, I don’t want you to.”

“Unless you can get up, you don’t have much of a choice, do you?”

“I can just feel your smug smirk piercing through me. I want to smack that smirk off of your dumb, beautiful face,” you threatened.

Hansol gently helped you up from the ground and held you at arms length. One hand plucked pieces of grass from your hair while the other kept you from swaying side-to-side. He couldn’t hold in his growing grin when you pouted at him with sleepy, half-lidded eyes.

“I said don’t touch me…”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not Hyejin.”

“And I’m not Soonyoung.”

“Obviously not by the way you danced with Hyejin tonight. Soonyoung can dance way better than you ever could! And it was the best time of my life!”

Hansol knows the intention behind your words was meant to hurt him, and to be honest, it did, but the way that you were acting was so cute that he ignored the slight sting in his chest.

“Do you want me to call him to walk you home instead?” he challenged, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yes.”

“Ah, you were supposed to say no.”

You ignored his comment as you stumbled passed him, making your way home once more. Hansol continued to follow behind you, catching you at least three more times when you tripped on the uneven sidewalk, earning himself another three snarky remarks about how you weren’t Hyejin and to keep his hands off of you.

When you stood in front of you apartment, you chucked the jacket harshly in his face.

“I deserve that,” he said.

“Go home.”

“Are you jealous of Hyejin?”

“Are you jealous of Soonyoung?”

“Yes,” he admitted without hesitation, catching you off guard. “And Wonwoo. And Mingyu. And any guy who comes even close to you.”

“Why?” you scoffed.

“Are you jealous of Hyejin?” he repeated. The small smirk on his face told you he already knew the answer.

“… Yes.”

“Ok,” his smirk widened. “Good night, _____.”

“Wait, what? You can’t just leave! Now I have questions!” you cried.

“I’ll answer them when I see you tomorrow.”

“That’s funny, because I definitely don’t remember agreeing to that.”

“It’s my way of saying I want to see you tomorrow.” And before you realized it, Hansol started to back away, making him the winner of this sad argument. He winked, smiling at the charming way you blushed so easily. “Sweet dreams, _____.”

You slept two whole hours that night.

세븐틴 (Seventeen)

Hello, my lovely readers! Welcome back to Kpop Trash. For this post, like I stated in the previous post, I will be talking about Seventeen members. I had said that because there were so many of them, it would have been too much information for the previous blog post. Let's begin. Recall that there are 13 members of Seventeen: S.Coups, Jeonghan, Joshua, Jun, Hoshi, Wonwoo, Woozi, DK, Mingyu, The8, Seungkwan, Vernon, and Dino. I'm going to throw out some fun facts about them. First up and the oldest is, S.Coups. He trained in Pledis for 6 years. He was supposed to be a part of NU’EST. He was preparing to be in a 5-member group called Tempest before the group was disbanded to merge into what is now Seventeen. He hates lemons. He has been practicing Taekwondo for 7 years. He is a black belt. He is considered the dad of the group because he’s the oldest and because he has the most experience. When he plays video games, he can be very aggressive. He was the one who came up with his stage name. The S stands for “Seventeen” and “Seungcheol”, and the Coups stands for “big success”. His real name means “Winning (Seung) Fairly (Cheol)”. He puts on a strong front because he hates showing off his weak side. Truthfully, he is very fragile inside. His nickname “Beagle King” comes from him being stronger than his friends and his hyungs. He is very strict with his other members. He says he tries to be a role model for all of the other trainees. He originally was planning to become a vocalist, but he fell in love with rap and hip-hop. He lets fans that are older than him call him “Oppa”. He loves the rooftop of his company’s building. He says he can ease his heart there. His other members voted him to be the manliest out of all of them. He dreams of becoming an actor. Next is Jeonghan. He likes Korean food, especially stews and chicken. He says Joshua was the first member to approach him when he first became a trainee. He says he’s closest to Joshua among all the Seventeen members. He doesn’t really like candies. He was voted by the other members as the member with the best personality. He’s envious of Seungkwan’s vocal skills. He calls himself ‘Angel’ because his birthday is on October 4th (1004 in Korean is “Cheonsa” which means “Angel”). Between 20 and Adore U, he prefers 20. His ideal type girl is someone who loves them and buys their albums. The meaning behind his real name is that Jeong means clean and Han means Country. It has the meaning that he will be like a clean milky way. He ranks himself third best visuals in the group. He says he’s the weakest member in the group. He gets tired easily and sleeps whenever and wherever he can. When he feels sleepy at the broadcasting stations, he would tell everyone he needs to use the washroom but he’s secretly sleeping there for 5 minutes. He looks up to SHINee’s Taemin because he has shown a lot of growth from his debut album until now, so he hopes he can be like that and be helpful to the vocal team. He says he seems quiet but he’s actually not like that.Between dating someone older or younger, he prefers someone older because he needs someone to take care of him. These facts are funny right? I'm dying at some and all the information is according to pledis17.com. Next is Joshua. He likes reading, sleeping, eating, playing the guitar and singing. His favorite colors are Blue, Black, Brown & Pink. His favorite sport is Football. He loves anime. His favorites are One Piece, Naruto & Bleach. He’s a christian. He’s envious of Jihoon’s dancing & singing skills. He plays the guitar really well. His parents are his role models. His favorite korean artist is 2BiC. He would choose music over food. He loves the show Adventure Time. He doesn’t like the color green. He likes the korean drama Rooftop Prince. He likes horror movies. He likes Chris Brown, Usher, Eminem & Tupac. His favorite youtube artists are Gabe Bondoc, AJ Rafael & Jeff Bernat. He can cook. He loves chicken. He finds British accents hot. His favorite animals are rabbits. His favorite korean actor is Jang Donggun. He loves fairy tales. He said music is his life. He’s a fan of EXO. He is on Team Jacob in the Twilight series. He prefers books over movies. He joined Pledis Entertainment and began his training in 2013. He finds it difficult to ask people for favors. His ideal type girl is someone who is kind. Between 20 and Adore U, he prefers 20. The meaning behind his name Joshua is that it’s a name from the bible. He views himself as a calm person. He attended church often when he lived in America. He was apart of the praise team and played the guitar. He is named Seventeen’s gentleman because he doesn’t get angry easily and talks softly. He wants to be like Shinhwa and be a team for a long time with a good relationship with the members. He wants to be a dutiful son to his parents and work hard and make them proud. When he lived in America, he would speak Korean at home and English at school so he is good at speaking it but not good at writing it. Between soccer or basketball, he prefers soccer. His favorite flavor of ice-cream is kiwi. I'm mostly doing a blog post so you guys can see which Seventeen members you are closest with so you can form a bong and get more into kpop. There is also Jun. He knows Wushu. He plays the piano. He is an actor in China. According to Seungkwan, Junhui is known as the mother of the group. He likes spicy foods. He adapts easily to new places. He likes to read books. He admires NU'EST’s Ren. His ideal type girl is someone who is pure and clean looking. He also likes sexy girls. He said the most memorable judge on Seventeen Project was Lucky J’s Jessi. He said because of her, he cut his hair for their debut. The meaning behind his real name is that Moon means 'good at studying’, Jun means ‘handsome’ and Hui means ‘i can do better’. His stage name Jun came from his real name Junhui. He says many Chinese students love kpop and that’s how he became curious about it and moved to Korea. He says he’s in charge of quiet handsome boy. He ranks himself third most handsome in the group. He likes to hide a lot of Chinese and Korean snacks in his bag. He doesn’t eat them all at once, but eats them many times but the members eat all his snacks sometimes. Jelly snacks are his favorite. He likes 2+1. He likes to sing Chinese songs but he feels a little shy singing them in front of the members. His role models are Zhoumi and Henry because he wants to receive a lot of love from China and Korea like them. He wants to be an all-round entertainer and show the nice images of Seventeen to Chinese people. He said it was good to learn Korean but the pronunciation was very hard for him. Between dressing up or dressing down, he prefers dressing up. He is envious of coups confidence on stage and body. And then there's Hoshi. He had braces before, but had them removed. He speaks Japanese very well. He speaks basic Chinese. His favourite colours are black & white. He likes Beyonce & Omarion. He was voted by the other members as the member with the most aegyo. He was voted by the other members as the most hard working member, along with Jihoon. He’s envious of Seungcheol’s muscles. He would like to meet Chris Brown, Usher, Beyonce & SHINee. He has no experience in dating. His mother told him to study first and date girls later in college. He said it was difficult to wake up for school but he’s happy now that he has graduated. He wants a girlfriend where he could give her chocolates and in return, receive a big kiss and a hug. His stage name “Hoshi” means ‘Star’ in Japanese. The name was given to him because of how charismatic he is on stage. He likes Japanese food. He choreographs most of Seventeen’s routines. He said the hardest time in his life was when his friends and family would ask him when he would debut but he couldn’t tell them since he didn’t know himself. His ideal type girl is someone who is fragrant and likes him. The meaning behind his real name is that Kwon means ‘power’, Soon means ‘innocent and Young means ‘glorious’. It means be powerful by being innocent and glorious. He thinks he’s a powerful team leader for the Performance team. He is a black belt in Taekwondo and was a Taekwondo champion when he was young. He says Taekwon poses are similar to dance moves and that’s how he became interested in dancing. When he was in middle school, he created his own dance club and participated in competitions and won first in city competition. He got casted by participating in the district competition. He likes to collect bizarre photos of the members. He deleted most of them in case he loses his phone. He says he has the most bizarre photos of DK. His role model is choreographer Keone Madrid. He says his dances are original and attracts people with the beats. He wants to be a person who is original and stylish when it comes to dance and improves himself by performing. S.Coups chose Hoshi as the member who could be the leader, he says he has a lot of charisma. Next is Wonwoo. He has a little brother named Jeon Bohyuk. He says his parents are his idols. He appreciates how hard they’ve worked throughout their lives. He’s scared of dogs. His ideal type girl is someone who suits him well. His favourite color is blue. His favourite subject is music. He’s envious of Jihoon’s piano skills. He likes pomegranate. He comes off cold due to his sharp eyes but in reality, he’s a nice guy. Between spicy rice cakes and ramen, he prefers ramen. He does not believe in love at first sight. He believes it’s rare to fall in love that quickly. He likes listening to sad music before he sleeps. He loves watching movies. He says he cries every time while watching the korean movie “Miracle in Cell No.7" He said if he could create a new unit, he’d want to be in it with Seungkwan, Mingyu, Hoshi, DK and Dino and he would name it ‘Comics’. The meaning behind his real name is that Won means ‘round’ and Woo means ‘help’. It means to live by helping out with a rounded heart. He says he looks cold but he’s a warm person. He took guitar classes after he moved to Seoul in his third year of middle school. He participated in Pledis auditions just for experience but passed the audition luckily. He started off as a singer but people told him he had a good voice for rapping. Since then, he looked into the Hip Hop scene and got noticed as a rapper and became apart of the Hip Hop team. He says people tell him he looks sexy when he’s tired. When he’s tired, he stares blankly and people tell him he looks really handsome. He ranks himself 3rd or 4th most handsome in the group. He says S.Coups is the most handsome to him because he’s very manly and has good leaderships. He looks up to him because of that. His role models are Lupe Fiasco and Tablo. He enjoys writing lyrics so he gets ideas from them. Between scary or comedy movies, he prefers scary movies. He doesn’t like aeygo. Seventeen voted Wonwoo as the cleanest member. He says he can’t do aeygo but can speak in a aegyo voice (cheeseburger aeygo). Then after Wonwoo, it's Woozi. He was a former member of ‘Tempest’ before Seventeen was created. He’s a big fan of Brian Puspos. He wants to meet Justin Bieber. He’s never had a girlfriend. He doesn’t even have friends that are girls. He plays the guitar & piano. His favorite dessert is Jjajangmyun (Black Bean Noodles) & Spicy Ramyun Noodles mix together. He’s a fan of the X-Men series. He likes watching films with Hugh Jackman in them. He likes sports. He was voted by the other members as the most hard working member, along with Soonyoung. He’s envious of Jisoo’s english. He likes dogs. He composes and makes the lyrics for most of Seventeen’s songs. He says he feels burdened being Seventeen’s composer because he’s afraid if they fail, it would be his fault. He views himself as being very calm, serious and careful. Because he’s a little too serious sometimes, he has the nickname ‘documentary’. The meaning behind his real name is that Ji means ‘know’, Hoon means ‘service’. It means to know my service. When he was younger, he did classic music for a long time. He played the clarinet and band instruments. He always enjoyed singing and people told him he had a good voice but he was doubtful. He participated in the Pledis auditions and passed. Since then, his knowledge on music has widened and it becomes more exciting to him each time. His role models are Chris Brown and Park Jin Young. Between winter or summer, he prefers winter. Between long hair or short hair, he prefers long hair. DK has chosen him as the member he was awkward with before, so Woozi started calling him Dokyeom-shi (formal). He can’t eat spicy food. After Woozi, it's DK. He was previously a student at YP Music Academy. He said when he first joined Pledis, he felt scared and lonely but he’s the member that got along with everyone the fastest. Hansol, Seungkwan & Jisoo think he’s the funniest member. He was voted by the other members as the member that likes to joke the most. He’s envious of Jihoon’s fair skin and sexy figure (body figure). His favorite food is Wenchang Chicken. He shares the same birthday as Vernon. He’s a very lively but sensitive person. He wants to be someone who can help others and give them hope. His ideal type girl is a girl with long dark hair, has aegyo and has long slender legs. His favorite number is 17. His favorite color is Black. The meaning behind his real name is that Seok means ‘big’ and Min means ‘precious gem stone’. It means to be a big existence like a precious gem stone. He says he has a great passion for the things he likes so sometimes he can get greedy when he sings. He says he likes to spend his time cheerfully so he likes to make others feel energetic but sometimes it can get out of control so he needs to have more self control. He dreamed of becoming a singer when he saw Yoon Dohyun’s performances in middle school. The amount of energy he had on stage and the way he interacted with the fans and shared their energy was very cool to him. His nickname is internal voice. The members call him that because he’s noisy when he’s practicing his singing and it sounds like a speaker. He sang karaoke a lot when he was in middle school and his friends told him his singing is good. Since then, he enjoys singing when his friends are playing a guitar. Now he always listens to songs whenever he’s resting and he continues to practice and improve his vocals. He loves rock bands. He was a part of a rock band when he was in middle school. His role model is Yoon Dohyun and Moon Myungjin. Between dating someone younger or older, he prefers someone older because he needs someone to take care of him. Next is Mingyu. He enjoys and wants to try acting someday. One of his favorite foods is meat. His favorite animals are dogs. He has a pet dog too. His favorite number is 17. If he had the opportunity, he would like to date someone older than him. He is left-handed. His favourite color is red. He was voted by the other members as the most handsome member. He was voted by the other members as the member whose looks and personality don’t match. He’s the shikshin of the group (member who eats the most). He’s envious of Junhui’s Wushu skills. He was voted by the other members as the member who’s most different from their first impressions of him. The members thought Mingyu was older than them when they first met him but after getting to know him, they feel like he’s a younger brother to them now. He is the tallest member in the group. He is closest to Wonwoo. His ideal type girl is a girl who is tall, kind-hearted & easy-going. Then The 8. He was the last member to join the group. His hobbies are singing, dancing, shopping and watching movies. His favorite season is Summer. His favorite number is 7. He has been practicing chinese wushu since he was 5 years old. His role models are his parents. He is a Christian and Buddhist. His ideal type girl is someone who is cute and kind. He participated and won first prize at the National Children’s martial arts competition. The meaning behind his stage name is that the number 8 is a number well liked by many people in China and when the 8 is laid down, the infinite sign appears. He wanted to be a superstar since he was young. He got into an audition at school when he was in China. He did b-boying in China for 6 years. He always makes sure to eat his meals without skipping any. Even if he has to wake up at 3AM, he would wake up 1 hour before and eat. His role model is Henry. He is Chinese and really works hard and efficient. He wants to be like him. After him is Seung Kwan. He was offered to join JYP but he rejected the offer. He joined Pledis Entertainment in June 2012. He shares rooms with Hansol the most. His favorite Seasons are Summer and Fall. He loves when it rains a lot too. His favorite food is hamburgers. His biggest fear is getting no attention at all. His favorite sport is basketball. He likes goguma pizza. He’s the member with the most nicknames. He’s envious of Soonyoung’s charisma. He’s one of the members with the worst sleeping habits. If he could have a super power, he would choose Teleportation. He is allergic to tomatoes. He has the most nicknames in the group. He envies Jihoon’s singing and dancing and Soonyoung’s charisma on stage. He auditioned with Kim Bum Soo’s Last Love. He says the song describes him too. His ideal type is an easy going girl with big eyes and is like a friend to him. He says he remembers all the members birthdays. Between salty and sweet, he prefers salty. The meaning behind his real name is that Boo means ‘adult’, Seung means ‘success and ‘Kwan’ means generous. He wants to be a generous successor. He tries hard to be generous and loves giving energy to other people. Then is the second youngest, Vernon. He’s from New York but moved to Korea when he was 5 years old. He likes to play the guitar and he learned it from his father. He has a little sister named Sofia. He’s extremely ticklish. His favorite rappers are Drake, T.I, J.Cole and Kendrick Lamar. He loves Nicki Minaj as well as the other members too. He shares rooms with Seung Gwan the most. His favorite music genres are Rap, R&B and Hip Hop. He also likes Jazz too. His favorite Seasons are Summer and Fall. He likes cats & has his own pet cat. His cats name is ‘Dodam’. The name of the cat was picked by his cousin. He wishes he could have good speaking skills like Seung Gwan does. His favorite food is chocolate. He likes chocolate cakes & cheese cakes & loves cheeseburgers. He likes plums. He loves to watch movies. His role models are his parents and his teachers. He was voted by the other members as the shyest member. And lastly the maknae, Dino. His role model is Michael Jackson. He listens to “Beat It” a lot and says “Billie Jean” is a song that describes him and gives him a lot of energy. He’s the one who talked at the end of Seventeen TV Ver. 3 Teaser. His favorite holiday is Sunday. He has never been to a foreign country before. He wants to live in Korea forever. He likes fried squid with spicy sauce. He’s a heavy sleeper. He likes to hug things when he sleeps. He wishes he was taller. His favorite fruits are apple and grape. He has a younger brother. He’s envious of Mingyu’s height. He’s one of the members with the worst sleeping habits. His ideal type is a pretty girl who does aegyo. He is a fan of EXO. His stage name is an abbreviation of the word Dinosaur. It was given to him because he will dominate the stage. Well that's all for this blog post. I hope you guys enjoyed learning personal things about Seventeen members. Thanks for reading. Until next time... Word Count: 3633

그 밤 (The Night)

(named after this song which I listened to on repeat while writing)

Member: Jeonghan Genre: Fluff Word Count: 1949

The first week back from winter break was always decently easy, but you still felt tired. You just wanted to go back home and sleep some more, and come back next fall. It was hard to be motivated to learn new materials when it was this cold outside and the novelty of snow flurries had faded. Not being able to fall asleep, you bundled up to make your way to the little greasy takeout place across campus.

It was pretty late and not many people were out, causing the campus to feel a little more like Silent Hill than usual. You weren’t exactly sure if the chill that ran down your spine was from the cold or the spooky atmosphere. Your steps quickened as you got closer to the restaurant; you couldn’t wait for the warmth and safety it would provide...as well as the chicken.

When you finally got there you slammed the doors open, your breaths coming in hard pants from the urgent jog you had resorted to in the final stretch of your trek. The two workers behind the counter both stopped whatever they were doing to look up at you and you could only give them a sheepish smile and pretend to not be embarrassed. You stepped up to the counter and ordered your usual, paying with a few crinkled bills you had to dig out of your pocket with stiff, cold fingers.

The place was pretty small, with just the counter and a few small tables pushed to the side of the room. You sat down at the table furthest from the door and pulled out your phone to distract you while you waited. You scrolled through tumblr with one hand as you sandwiched the other between your thighs, trying to use your body heat to warm it. Your mind wandered around aimlessly, thinking about everything from the musicians’ pictures on your phone to the assignment you wanted to start on tomorrow morning. You didn’t look up when you heard the door open, but when you heard that voice– that unmistakable voice– your heart stopped in your chest.

You snapped your head up, almost convinced that you had heard wrong. There was no way that it could have been the person you thought it was. Except, it was. You looked at him as he ordered his food. His hair was much shorter, but he still had the same posture and his face still had that ever-soft expression. It was him. It was Jeonghan. Your Jeonghan.

He thanked the cashier and turned to walk away, and that’s when your eyes met. He looked just as surprised to see you as you were to see him, and you both stayed still and just looked at each other for a few moments, equally hesitant to say anything.

Your mind raced to when you had last seen each other, which had been just a little over two years ago. He was an international student at your college who had left his family behind in Korea to study in your country. You were a freshman when you had met him, and you were immediately drawn to this beautiful foreign senior. He was three years older than you, and you both knew that he wouldn’t be able to stay forever. Neither of these factors stopped you for falling for him, though, nor did they stop him from falling for you. You spent the year together, the best year of your life, but it couldn’t last. You had begged for him not to leave you, wiping away tears as you told him that you could handle a long-distance relationship. He only held you in his arms as you cried and insisted that you didn’t need to waste your youth tied down to someone who wouldn’t even be able to give you the treatment you really deserved. He graduated and left a week after that, and the last you had seen of him was his ponytail disappearing into the crowd of the airport terminal. He broke your heart worse than anyone else ever had, or ever possibly could. He was the one that got away. Now here he was, standing right in front of you.

“...You’re back.” you breathed, finally gathering up enough courage to break the silence. He nodded his head ever so gently, a blush rising to his cheeks.

“I am.” he said. He took a few slow steps towards you, not taking his eyes off of you. You could feel the blush rise to your cheeks as well. You didn’t really know how to feel, or what to do. Were you supposed to be angry at him for leaving you? It was two years ago and you had (almost) completely moved on. You hadn’t had a boyfriend since, though. You couldn’t date, not after you had known the kind of love you felt around him. Nobody else could do that to you. Nobody but him.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?” you asked, slowly rising from your seat.

“I tried to call you. Not just recently, but not long after I left. It said your number was no longer in service.” he said, shaking his head. You felt your stomach drop. A few months after he left, you had changed cell phone service providers and had to change your number. Knowing that you could have been in contact with him so long ago; that he had tried to reach out for you– it made your insides bubble with a strange mixture of regret and relief.

“Well, if you had ever caved and gotten facebook or something we could have worked around that, idiot,” you smiled, unaware of how your eyes were beginning to water. He closed the space between you, pulling you into his arms. God, he even still smelled the same. Your hands gripped the back of his jacket.

“I missed you so much,” he said, his voice cracking just a touch. Your heart swelled at his words, and you were almost shaking with the overwhelming rush of emotion you were experiencing.

“I missed you too,” you whispered, “more than anything.” Keeping you close, he pulled his face away just enough to look at you. You both studied the subtle changes in each other’s features, soaking in the sight of the faces you had both spent two years only dreaming about.

“Wait, why are you here?” you asked, coming to your senses just a little. He graduated already, why would he be here after all this time?

“I decided to get a graduate degree.” he shrugged, smiling at you.

“But you always talked about getting your Masters from Yonsei University?” you asked, remembering the talks you had had about any and all of your possible futures. He grinned, pleased that you had remembered such a detail about him. In all honestly you still remembered a lot about him: the way he preferred cheez-its over goldfish crackers, how he always called his little sister on Sunday nights, the way he liked it when you rubbed his back until he fell asleep. You hadn’t forgotten anything.

“I did think about it, but Yonsei didn’t have you.” he confessed. “I know, it’s stupid. You could have transferred or been happily settled with someone else, but when I realized that I had the opportunity to come back to you...I just couldn’t give that up.”

You spent a long time catching up in the chicken restaurant, deciding to eat together there instead of taking your food home. He told you all about home, and how he had showed pictures of you to everyone back there. He told that, like you, he hadn’t even had crushes on anyone else since you had parted. He had attempted to go on one date, only to leave thirty minutes in. You smiled at this, a little proud of how you had had the same effect on him as he had on you.

You caught him up on all the silly drama that had taken place in your friend group since he had left, and he giggled at all the things you told him about the shenanigans a certain kid named Chan (who he had been especially close to) had gotten up to while he was gone. You told him about the classes you had taken, and you listened to him talk about the job he got in Seoul, working for a small newspaper and how the dress code there had made him cut all his long hair off. You only left when you had to, the tired workers kicked you out into the cold because they were tired of waiting for you to leave so they could close.

You hated going back out into the cold, but it was a lot better this time because Jeonghan immediately laced his fingers with yours as soon as your were outside. Butterflies danced in your stomach harder than they ever had before, but that didn’t stop you from leaning on his shoulder as you walked to your dorm. You walked slowly this time, savoring the feeling of the warm, loving contact you had craved since your freshman year. For some reason, the snow and the cloudy sky seemed magical again, and it didn’t make you frustrated. You remembered how beautiful everything was when you got to see it with Jeonghan by your side.

Your walk ended too soon for either of your likings. You stopped in front of your building and sighed, not wanting to let go just yet. He turned to face you with a solemn smile.

“I guess this is it,” you said, returning his look. “I would invite you in, but my roommate is passed out, and she might not appreciate guests at this time of night anyway.” He smiled at you, bringing your body closer to his.

“At least this goodbye isn’t going to be so final,” he said, resting his forehead on yours. “I’ll see you again tomorrow, okay?” He murmured, his warm breath fanning over your cold face. You let out a small ‘mmm-hmm’ before pressing your lips to his. If you thought the butterflies in your stomach had been bad ten minutes ago, you were dead wrong. Your insides were bursting in the most amazing way, and you never wanted to stop kissing him. You had missed this more than anything. You two did have to to pull apart eventually, but it was followed with smiles and a gentle rubbing together of your noses.

“I still love you.” you said almost under your breath, still only inches away from him. He pressed another short, soft kiss to your lips.

“I still love you too. I never for one day stopped loving you.” he said. You whispered a few more sweet goodbyes before parting for good, and you watched him walk away once again. He only made it a few meters away when you caught yourself shouting after him.

“Wait!” you exclaimed, and he immediately turned around with raised eyebrows. “You still need my phone number!” You laughed and held up your phone, and he immediately came back to get your refreshed contact information. You weren’t risking anything this time, and as soon as you were back in your room you texted him to make sure his number worked.

‘I miss you already.’ you sent, just before crawling under your covers. You were more tired than you had thought, and your eyes began drooping immediately after you were settled in your bed. Right before you fell completely asleep, though, your phone lit up.

‘If we can wait for a couple years, we can wait for one night. But I miss you too.’

- Marcy