i notice that autism and neurodivergency has to come with “a look”. “you dont look autistic”. “you have autism? i didnt notice? are you sure?.” but every mean girl group you encounter in middle school notices before you even speak. You know you cant fit in and nobody is trying to tell you that you do. Maybe a backhanded, un understanding “youll find the right people” is uttered once in a while. but they know. so does your english teacher when she grades your writing. Every one can sense that you, are different. You hate this.
i’ll say “omg i love this song” and it’s some white dude who can’t sing mumble whispering over some squeaky guitar recorded on the worst mic imaginable
for i am still that little girl asking if she can play too; and i am still that little girl being awkwardly declined and i am still that little girl thats wants to be wanted more than anything but i am that little girl that is starting to really really not blame them for it. and i am that little girl asking god why she is different warning him that if jesus died for all our sins, that he left one behind; the body i am in.