Daroach, humanized 🥺?

Magolor or Dedede was supposed to be next but I kept getting requests for him (the most requested character, surprisingly!)

Design is most likely subject to change, I kind of want the gloves and shirt to be more detailed, but this is probably what I had in mind

Dash simulator

Mutual 1: sam being cursed as a baby is such a good metaphor for transness

Mutual 2: i miss cas where the fuck is castiel

Mutual 3: i think sam should be executed by firing squad for being annoying and having sideburns

Mutual 4: sloppy crying nasty destiel car sex reblog if you agree

Yeah okay maybe I am brainrotting just a little bit [2]

Hybrid Batch!AU by @squad-724 officially occupied my brain for the near future and I'll make this everyone's problem

A bit of details - consider this an interpretation and/or headcanons:

> It seemed logical to me to extend the hairline down to the jawline in sort of sideburns, given that Zygerrians are actually covered in fur. Crosshair's hairline goes from the back of his head thinly along the spine and up to the tail.

> Zygerrians also often have pigment spots at the base of their ears, and males often have spines near their chins. Crosshair has no spines, but does have pigment spots.

> Classical scaled Zygerrian ears, also a bit more flat nose to match the race phenotype.

> White eye base due to albinism.

> "04" tattoo and earrings are my personal headcanons, so don't mind me. :D

need y'alls professional opinion on the hair under his hat here because has the worst already happened. those sideburns look trimmed. no way he hides all his hair under that hat right.

edit: it’s gone yall. pack it up skittles squad.

in a mishanks winter soldier au, i cant decide who id want to be the winter soldier. even just picking based on the reveal scene where buck's goggles fall off to reveal only his eyes (bc the mask stays on), i cant choose!

rambling about the pros for each under the cut lol.

with mihawk, the goggles fall off revealing his piercing yellow eyes, immediately recognizable and standing out from his dark hair and black face mask. ws!hawk could also give us longer-haired mihawk, and his return to himself could include shaving his sideburns and facial hair to the sharp style we all recognize, and maybe even a return to the sword if they still have the winter soldier specialize in guns. maybe extra angst of him losing an arm and then retraining with the sword once he gets back to himself. and ofc shanks as his counterpart would be unequivocally considered a good guy by the general public, and very wholesome and charming. closer to the cap mold than mihawk, in any case, lol.

with shanks, i'd say he seems like the more obvious answer for the winter soldier if we're thinking 1:1 comparison to bucky, since he's got the sunshine personality pre-turning, and he even loses the same arm bucky does. his hair would be signature for the ws in this au, ans his goggles would hide the scars. when they fall off for the reveal, not only would the scars stand out from the face mask, but his eyes would look kind. a different but just as effective sort of jarring from ws!mihawk's eyes in the big reveal.

a ws!shanks, however would make mihawk his cap counterpart, which is more interesting bc mihawk is really not a team captain type. in this au, i imagine the shichibukai would be the acting "hero" team, but they'd function more like the suicide squad and they'd overall be pretty infamous in the public eye, not having great reps as everyone would know they were "villains", too rowdy or troublesome to deal with and so they got offered a gov't contract instead. got frozen in time and the gov't was too unnerved with him to let him go off-leash, and mihawk signs on bc what else is he gonna do? and it became clear that they wouldn't stop bothering him 'til he does.

i suppose story-wise i'd be more tempted to pick ws!shanks bc i find mihawk in this strange position of being equivalent to captain america more interesting to write, but i also just can't let go of the reveal scene with mihawk's eyes standing out. and ws!mihawk could come with the angst of cap!shanks thinking that mihawk is just a rival who tolerates him until he saves shanks's life, and then he finds mihawk again as the winter solider...

but then there's cap!mihawk wandering around listlessly in the future bc his best rival sacrificed himself to save mihawk's life, and for what? but when he finds shanks again (he's only ever known one person with hair that vibrantly red, but that can't be... but then the goggles fall, and those gentle eyes!), shanks doesn't know him and he's nothing like his rival used to be, even if their skillsets are still on par, and cap!hawk has to contend with the fact that he doesn't miss a rival, he misses a friend--maybe even smth more than a friend, which he sees in hindsight shanks, his shanks, his old shanks, knew even if mihawk himself didn't, and now shanks is standing in front of him again and he needs--!

idk. idk!

Tfp gijinkas (1/4) Dad squad (aka I binged a childhood favorite show in 3 days and the special interest won) Zoom in to the image for more details (especially the faces, that's where I put the most details)

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[Image ID: A character sheet with two characters on it. On the left side is a human version of Optimus Prime from Transformers Prime. He's tall and muscular with tan skin and blue-tinted black hair that is visibly grayed. His hair is around shoulder-length and tied into a short ponytail with a red hairtie. His expression is neutral and his eyes are dark blue. There are several scars on his face and hands, and the lines on his face show his age. He is wearing a black turtleneck, a red, cropped bomber-style jacket with white lining and a blue autobots logo embroidered on the left shoulder, blue trousers with gray patches and dark blue combat boots with black soles. He has two swords holstered on his back with connected shoulder-holsters. Placed around him are character design notes, reading as follows: "I turned his eye notches into scars - at first I thought of eyeliner but it didn't feel right". "I tried to simultaneously give him the vibes of a hands-on leader, a father figure and a dignified man in his twilight years - and I have no idea if I succeeded!". "I made both him and Ratchet appear somewhere in their 50s." "He accidentally ended up looking a lot like my design of Anton Shudder". "Making an outfit for him was tough because as a kid I thought his design made him look like he was wearing a cropped jacket and denim short-shorts. But I can't have him fighting decepticons in that, think of the asphalt burns! It was hard to unthink that, though". A tiny version of the Sonic the Hedgehog "my fucking god! these bitches gay! Good for them, good for them!" -meme is placed to his right. On the right side of the page is a human version of Ratchet from the same franchise. He's a stocky white man with pale skin and a few freckles here and there, but not many. His hair is mostly white, with some ginger streaks still visible. It is short and somewhat spiky near the back. He also has sideburns, a beard with no moustache and thick eyebrows. He looks grouchy and he has several facial scars and his face is lined. His eyes are cyan. He's wearing a red-and-white uniform, reminiscent of a first responder's outfit. It consists of a zip-up jacket, a thicker jacket on top, trousers, gloves and boots. The zip-up is white with a red zipper, and the jacket has four pockets and is mostly red with white shoulders and sleeves with heartbeat-reminiscent patterns. The jacket also has a white belt. The trousers are white with similar red stripes. The entire outfit has reflective stripes. The boots are mostly white with red heels and soles, and metal-enforced toes. He's holding a scalpel in one hand. There's a red autobots logo on his jackets over his heart. The design notes around him read as follows "He needs a strong nosebrideg because he's going to be pinching it a lot." "He came out looking like a middle-aged Roskilde paramedic named something like "Fredrik" or "Søren" who claims to have Manchester Orchestra as his favorite band (which isn't entirely false but) spends more time listening to ABBA and Radical Face." "Reflective stripes - safety first!". A meme with the text "Dad: doesn't want dog. Family: gets dog anyways. dad and dog:" and a picture of a man and a dog grilling. /end ID]

Do you have any thoughts and opinions on Captain Boomerang? I personally think he's great but not everyone thinks that way.

I need to delve further into him in a canonical sense, but I’ve seen snippets of comics, Suicide Squad (the second one… he was barely in it?) and the Arkham movie he was in and I’m fully in love with him and want to scritch his sideburns so he does that thing with his foot like a dog 💚

I’ve got a few things of his lined up to read because I’d love to add him into my characters, but I’m always open to people telling me storylines or issues to check on u-u

I have some thoughts about the training gallery this week…

This photo of Moussa with the light just hits

Morgan’s little tuffty beard is v. cute (cc: Unai, please show to Igor)

Slightly obsessed with this shot of lovely Youri ♥️ He’s so boyish & handsome, his little kiss celebration at Sheffield makes me swoon.

Joe 😍 Is he about to slingshot his phone with that band? I hope he’s settling in and not homesick, he’s had a whirlwind month and I feel he needs to know B&M stores sell Australian chocolate (don’t tell the nutritionists).

Calum… silent assassin? Mixed feelings on him refusing to move on in Jan (couldn’t be me, the awkwardness would send me off into orbit), but perhaps he’s an oracle and may come in clutch?

He’s in my FPL this week as I needed someone cheap to pad out the squad of guys with double game weeks. I’ve benched him though so hopefully my curse will work and he’ll be subbed on and score a brace.

Pau! 😍 WHAT A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES. Is he growing a moustache and half a sideburn? Yes please.

Whoever trims Ollie’s hair with a spirit level needs a raise, he just looks so cool

French squad! So glad to see Lucas back too, he’s so wholesome. I found out recently that he helped people during a terrorist attack when he was with Barcelona, he doesn’t talk about it, but he put tourniquets on people and handed out water, what an absolute stellar human being ♥️

I don’t feel like Clément gets enough love, he might give me palpitations for all the wrong reasons at times on the pitch, but he’s so handsome & chill.

Big Tim, it’s your time to shine ♥️ Keeping everything crossed for him! Saw a journo on twitter earlier say Unai talks about him week in week out during pressers, imagine having that man’s faith in your corner 🥲

Lastly, Emi about to be captured like the big cat he is 😄

In the closing minutes of Wales’s Five Nations meeting with France at Cardiff Arms Park in March 1976, the home side were resisting an onslaught by the visitors when the French wing Jean-François Gourdon found some space on the touchline by the north stand. Gourdon was then hit by a shuddering shoulder charge from Wales’s full-back, JPR Williams, that all but sent him spinning into the crowd. Williams raised his fist in triumph and Wales held on to win 19-13 and complete a seventh grand slam.

In truth, Williams’s tackle was far from legal, but the incident remains an indelible image in the minds of Welsh rugby supporters – that and a photograph of the Bridgend No 15 with blood pouring from his face after being trampled by a visiting All Blacks boot. International rugby in the 1970s was not for the squeamish, and JPR survived by being not just supremely skilful, but as hard as nails.

Williams, who has died aged 74 from bacterial meningitis, would forever be known as JPR, the three most evocative initials in the sport. Only France’s Serge Blanco could rival him as the greatest full-back in history. When the law-makers of the international board prevented the ball from being kicked directly into touch in 1968 it gave the opportunity for Williams and others such as Scotland’s Andy Irvine to forge a template for how a modern attacking full-back should play.

The source of Williams’s famous hardness is surprising. Unusually for top-class players in Wales, he came from a comfortable middle-class home. Williams once told of how he turned up at a Wales Schoolboys’ trial in a Rolls Royce. His upbringing, he said served as an incentive “to prove to my mates that I was tough and one of them”.

John Peter Rhys was born in Bridgend to Peter and Margaret, both doctors. Margaret had been born in Rochdale, so young John could have played for England, but that was not a subject much discussed in the Williams household.

It was on the lawns of Wimbledon rather than the muddy fields of Cardiff Arms Park or Bridgend that Williams first made his mark as a sportsman of renown. As a 17-year-old, he won the 1966 British junior tennis title at Wimbledon, beating David Lloyd in the final.

He was gaining a reputation at rugby in Bridgend, where his father was the club president and doctor. By this time Williams had left Bridgend grammar school for Millfield school in Somerset, where future Wales scrum-half Gareth Edwards was a pupil.

From Millfield, Williams went to St Mary’s hospital in London and had a spell at the London Welsh club. He chose to continue playing the amateur sport rather than tennis and concentrate on his medical studies, his father having told him that he would not make a living as a professional sportsman.

He was still a teenager when he was called into a Wales squad to tour Argentina in the summer of 1968. There were great expectations of the new boy John Williams, as he was then known, when he made his full Wales debut against Scotland at Murray Field the following February.

Wales had a new coach, their former captain Clive Rowlands. Barry John at fly-half scored the final try in Wales’s 17-3 win. Something was brewing in Wales and the 70s were a golden age. Once Phil Bennett, alongside Edwards, established himself as Barry John’s natural heir and once JPR was joined by the wings JJ Williams and Gerald Davies, Wales became an unstoppable force in northern hemisphere rugby. At the heart of their team was JPR, instantly recognisable with his Elvis-Presley style sideburns, flowing hair and socks often pulled down to his ankles.

What set him apart was his success as an attacking player which, allied to that rock-solid defensive play, made him a permanent fixture in the Wales side between his 1969 debut and 1981, when he retired from international rugby. He burnished his reputation on the successful British Lions tours to New Zealand in 1971 and South Africa in 1974, playing in all four Tests on each. Williams had been on a Wales tour to New Zealand in 1969 when they were humbled by the All Blacks in two Tests so the 2-1 series win by the Lions two years later came as a big relief.

In Auckland he settled the series with a long-range drop-goal in the final Test. It came as a surprise to his team-mates, but England’s Bob Hiller, his full-back understudy on that tour, had apparently joked to him that he could not consider himself a proper international until he had dropped a goal.

In South Africa three years later, Williams was heroic again as Willie John McBride’s team prevailed in an often brutal series win over the Springboks. The Lions’ call of “99” often signalled all-out punch-ups, and the sight of Williams racing upfield to thump the much larger South African lock Moaner van Heerden was a memorable one, though, as Williams confessed later it was not something of which he was particularly proud.

Williams won 55 caps for Wales, five of them as captain in 1978-79; in 1977 he was appointed MBE. In between those Lions victories he scored the final try in the Barbarians’ famous victory over the All Blacks at the Arms Park in 1973, and after retiring from the international stage played club rugby for Tondu as a back-rower until 2003, when he was 54.

He met Scilla (Priscilla) Parkin at medical school, and they married in 1973. His principal post as a trauma and orthopaedic surgeon was at the Princess of Wales hospital, Bridgend (1986–2004). Williams rarely joined the ranks of retired players who became pundits, but he was always happy to talk about a stellar career, particularly the 11 games against England, in which he always ended on the winning side.

He is survived by Scilla and their children, Lauren, Annie, Fran and Peter.

🔔 John Peter Rhys Williams, rugby player and orthopaedic surgeon, born 2 March 1949; died 8 January 2024

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

Incorrect Quotes Generator

Jesper: *closes a cabinet* *a crash is heard behind the cabinet door* Wylan: What was that? Jesper: The sound of someone else's problem.

______

Nina: All of a sudden I got a random burst of energy, and I think it's my body's last hurrah before it completely shuts down.

______

Jesper: Y'know, I once knew a man who said to me: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” He also had a pair of sideburns that would cause even Jude Law’s face to weep in forfeit. You put those lemons in a sack and beat your enemies with ‘em! And maybe if you beat ‘em hard enough the bag will split open and lemon juice will spray into their eyes, causing intense burning pains as you crush them into a citrus-y pulp! Wylan: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Their heads or the lemons? Jesper: Whatever caves first!

______

Nina: Would you take a bullet for me? Jesper: . . .yes? *Kaz angrily burst into the room* Nina: *running away* Great, thanks!

______

Nina: Did you win? Or just not die? Nina: Either way, hooray. Kaz: ...Is "no" a valid answer? Nina: The hooray is redacted and you frighten me.

______

Wylan: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it. Wylan: Everything will be fine. You have no choice. Inej: What kind of pep talk is that? Wylan: Ominous positivity.

______

Wylan: All of your existences are confusing. The Squad: How so? Wylan: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

______

Nina: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes. Inej: Wow, I've gotta hear this. Nina: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share. Inej: You forgot pride. Nina: No, I'm pretty proud of this.

______

Matthias: What are you writing? Kaz: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information. Nina, looking over Kaz's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

______

Inej: The saying “it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission” no longer applies to Wylan.

Link to generator: https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator

Rebel AU

Just as they were about to depart, they saw a squad of troopers enter the hangar. They both glanced down at the unconscious pilot again, but his body was hidden behind the crates from their sight, for now... But they had a clear view of the pair, so they couldn't possibly reach the shuttle and prepare it for their escape in time.

Jareau took a deep breath.

"Lets go." he grabbed Tora's arm and turned towards another corridor leading away from the hangar. They needed another route.

"What will we do now?" asked Tora desperately, feeling their situation hopeless.

Jareau cleared his still sore throat before he could speak.

"There will be escape pods a level above, we will use one of those."

They spent quite a few long minutes wandering on the corridors, then taking the elevator and Tora really wasn't sure how much her nerves could take of this yet.

"There." said Jareau after stepping out of the elevator. "The escape pods are behind that corner."

Tora followed where his helmet was facing and her stomach clenched painfully. A tall, young man walked towards them, wearing a dark grey uniform, on the sides of his face sporting some well groomed sideburns. He was concentrating on a datapad in his hand, an older, bulky model with a bantha sticker on it, Tora immediately recognized one of her own devices. The ISB agent noticing the people in front of him glanced up to avoid colliding into them. Tora felt cold spreading through her seeing his expression immediately turning to a scowl as he recognized her.

"Trooper, where are you taking the prisoner?" he walked up to them.

"I got orders to transport her to Corellia, sir."

Tora had no chance to warn Jareau that he can't lie his way out of this, this guy knew exactly who she was and had plans with her. She just stared at Kallus with a pale face helplessly.

The agent's eyebrows shot upwards hearing the answer before an angry scowl took it's place.

"Who gave that order?" he asked with obvious suspicion.

"It came from above, sir."

The scowl on the agent's face deepened.

"How much above? Show me that order, trooper."

Tora's heart was ready to explode as she looked between Kallus and Jareau. They were goners...

In that moment the alarms started to blare around them. They must have found the pilot.

As if the alarms gave him the sign, Jareau suddenly raised his blaster but before he could have fired it, the agent hit the weapon out of his hand with the bulky datapad he was holding, destroying the device in the process. He didn't hesitate one second as dropping the now useless datapad, he came at Jareau with his fist next.

The spy shoved Tora away to be able to fight back.

"Tora, run!" he yelled as he blocked the punch.

She fell to the wall but couldn't move, watching the hand to hand fight unfold in front of her. If she only took their size differences, it was obvious who will win...

"But..."

"Run!! Launch a pod! I will follow!"

Hearing the promise Tora forced herself to move and she ran towards the escape pods heaving in panic. Reaching the first one she hit the button to open the door and jumped in. Her eyes danced on the control panel, trying to force her panicked mind to focus and find how to launch it. There! She hit a button, then pulled a lever in front of her the same second as she saw a big shadow being casted on her from behind. A heavy hand fell on her shoulder and turned her over with a force. Tora stared up at the ISB agent with fear in her eyes, frozen in her place, when the pod suddenly jerked with the motion of being launched. She was trapped in there with him.

Barney Miller 101: The Squad

Barney: In charge of this chaos. Practical, kind, patient, protective of his people, worries about them and does his best to help them. Dad In Charge. Jewish. Morals are more important than the letter of the law because sometimes the law, and bureaucracy, is stupid. All-around good guy. Deserves better.

Fish: Been there done that got the aches and pains to show for it. Old and going to complain about it because he damn well deserves it. 120% done with this shit. Reluctantly married and 50% prunes and painkillers by weight.

Yemana: The most unlucky gambler ever to walk this earth, and yet he continues, undaunted. Once got his sideburn shot off. Worst coffee maker the planet has yet seen. Japanese. Sentenced to 25 to life in Filing in 1960 and hasn’t escaped yet.

Harris: Dapper As Fuck. Writer, spends more of his time trying to make money than almost anything else, and annoyed by all this crap. Does Not Care until he really does. Makes a shockingly good looking woman. Black and proud. Best Hair Award 45 yrs running.

Wojo: His full name is unspellable unless you’re Polish, accept it. Built like a brick house and eats like a horse. Former Marine and proud of it. A straightforward, nice boy who has the most character growth by a country mile and is trying really hard even if he doesn’t always understand. Squad Slut, total himbo. Also plays the flute and faints at needles.

Dietrich: 90% of his personality is Fun Facts, Dramatic Effect, and feeding off other people feeling awkward. Pedantic as hell, wit dry as fuck, puns always. His jokes are terrible. Obsessed with Goethe for some reason. Grows his own wheat in his apartment. Always has a definition ready. Intellectual Asshole but cute about it (it’s probably the glasses).

Chano: Passionate af. Dancer, Puerto Rican, loves his country, a silly boy. Once had to write a burglary report and had to write his own name under ‘Victim’. Loves playing secret agent. Broke down sobbing when he had to shoot a guy and needed a week off to recover. Loved wearing a dress for mugging detail completely unironically.

Wentworth: Gets combat fever like CRAZY oh my god do not get in her way. Survived a relationship with Wojo, sanity intact. Does not care what people think about her and focuses like a laser. Protective af, tiny and will fite you. (and you will lose.)

Batista: Don’t fuck with her. Even tinier than Wentworth and even more determined. More arrests than everyone else combined. Gets Shit Done.

Levitt: He’s short and he’s angry about it. Fluent in ASL, determined to make detective no matter what it takes. Frequently misunderstands because he is convinced that there is a trick to getting this damn promotion and there isn’t. Has the worst suits, bless him.

Organization XIII, ranked by their titles

Roxas: The Key of Destiny Nice and epic. The good double meaning that he wields the key, yet also is the key to the organization plans, turned and manipulated to unlock a door with no will of his own. The organization sees him as the key to their destiny, but really, Roxas is the key and the bearer, and through his arc, learns to be the keeper of his own fate. 1000/10

Demyx: The Melodious Nocturne Rolls off the tongue in a pleasant way. You might think, “what the heckity is a nocturne? It sounds cool as heck.” Well, a nocturne is (what a surprise), a musical term. But specifically, it is a word used in both art and music, to describe a piece evocative of night. A cool sounding term for a fantasy character that, when you google it, actually means something interesting and thematically relevant? what a rarity/10

Larxene: The Savage Nymph Now, the usage of ‘nymph’ might take some points off this one, being more befitting a character with nature powers, like Marluxia. Or, she could be using nymph in the more entomological definition, meaning young insect, like a wasp or a hornet, something with a bit more ‘sting’ to it. The real confusion of the second part keeps her from the top slot, but the delicious zeugma of the first half makes up for it. #savage/10

Axel: Fury of the Dancing Flames Ooh. What a wonderful epithet. There’s such a nice prose to it, not found in any other members of the evil squad. On top of that, it covers all the bases that we as the audience need to know about Axel. What is he? Angy. How will he express that? Fire. Like, boring, non-dancing fire? Nope. Sick-as-hell dancing fire. Axel should get to dance too tho/10

Xaldin: The Whirlwind Lancer I’ll say, I tried to keep personal opinions of the characters out of this ranking. It’s pure coincidence that some of my favorites have the dopest names. And nothing proves that more than Xaldin’s placement here. Do I like this man? Nah. But, I have to admit, his bossfight in Two is really artful. Someone had to sit down and ask themselves “How do we make the wind intimidating?” And their core concept started with a whirlwind, lances, and terrible sideburns. The sideburns didn’t make it into the name, and thank the stars for that. But the rest is very nicely menacing. 7/10

Xemnas: Superior of the In-Between Another name that says what it does on the tin. Xemnas is constantly getting referred to as “The Superior” instead of everyone just calling him “boss” like a normal person. It’s got more than a hint of over-dramatic edginess to it. But that is one of the reasons we love Kingdom Hearts. Same thing goes for the audacity Xemans has to call him realm “The In-Between”, which sounds way better than “Our neo-neo-gothic nightmare pocket dimension with Escher-esque skyscraper clipping” drama queen/10

Zexion: The Cloaked Schemer “Cloaked” and “Schemer” describe approximately 90% of the organization. It’s like if your job description at the office was “Guy who has hair and opinions”. Zexion isn’t even the schemer-iest egg in the carton! Fine name in most other evil friendgroups, just not this one. come on Zexion you can do better than this/10

Vexen: The Chilly Academic I really appreciate that, despite roughly 4/13ths of this emo dream team having a background in science, Vexen is the academic. No one else. Nope, not even those three other guys who worked in the same lab as you. Nah Vexen, science is your thing, we’re not gonna step on your gimmick. Like we’ve come to expect, 'Chilly’ here pulls double duty as both a literal descriptor of his powers and a more metaphorical adjective about the villains temperament. Though, I don’t know it you can in good faith call someone who spends so much of his screen time either shrieking or giggling “chilly”. 5/10 

Saix: The Luna Diviner You know, I always thought Saix’s title was the lunar diviner, but nope, I’m looking at the wiki right now. It says Luna. Which kinda cuts the pacing of the title right through the gut. I much prefer his japanese title, Demonic Dancing In The Moon, which has the benefit of 1) Matching with Axel, and 2) Being metal as hell. Also, diviner??? When has Saix ever delivered a single prediction in the entirety of the series, other than the usually correct “I am going to go absolutely apeshit now”, which any good scientist will know, is a variable controlled by the tester and thus, suffers greatly from confirmation bias. moon moon/10

Luxord: The Gambler of Fate Most of these epithets follow a very simple pattern; adjective, what-they-bring-to-the-company. Roxas breaks the rules because he’s important, Xemnas does it because he’s the CEO, and Axel does it because he is simply The Best Boy. But nowhere, in any game we have received so far, is there reason to believe Luxord is special enough to similarly defy the mold. We didn’t even know how his regular name was pronounced until kh3!!! Luxord smacks of someone who doesn’t know how much of a background character he really is. I mean, come on, the gambler of fate? Mi amigo, you show up twice and keel over to a child beating you at go-fish. We’re not exactly dealing with the grand machinations of the cosmos here. Nomura, if you give me reason to, I will consider adjusting this rank/10

Xigbar: The Freeshooter Again with shirking conventions! However, I will give credit where credit is due, Xigbar seems to have the narrative weight to deserve it. Which is where my actual complaint comes in: you go out of your way to stand out from the pack, and the best you can come up with is freeshooter? Boring. No pizazzle, no flamboyant adjectives, just blunt as lead and twice as clunky. Man is a hundreds year old ceiling dwelling sniper with an eyepatch and a surfer accent, there’s gotta be something more interesting than freeshooter. Xigbar I had such high hopes for you/10

Marluxia: The Graceful Assassin  Graceful, I’ll give you. No one goes harder on the pastel instagram aesthetic than Marluxia. But ‘assassin’ seems a weird choice. Especially for the guy who was put in charge of hiring new assets (Sora) to the Council of Depressed Queers. That is literally the opposite of assassinating. I mean, Axel’s killed like three of his coworkers, and this femme king gets to be called the assassin? I’m sorry my gay, but pink glitter and a weird mech does not instantly make you a bringer of death. let Marluxia commit homicide/10

Lexaeus: The Silent Hero/The Taciturn Stalwart Dude has a completely different title in Remix and no one noticed because he’s just that Boring. 0/10

i love seeing the worst part about mixmaster and scrapper every time sideburn is on the screen a nd i don't want him to be executed via firing squad

Halfling Appreciation Post

Literally my first time making an original post, let’s flapping go.

As those of us who love roleplaying games and have a healthy amount of self-respect distance ourselves from Dungbats & Dickbags, (and just so we’re clear, I’ve been a fan of the world’s most popular RPG since I was a kid, so my anger here is not a mild, petty thing, it’s an absolute Balrog of betrayal) I just want to take this moment to make sure we’re appreciating one of my favorite fantasy races.

Muhfuggin’ halflings, yo.

Why are halflings great, besides the fact that Samwise Gamgee is the single greatest supporting man in the history of fantasy adventure? Well I’ll happily tell you. Over the years, I’ve heard woefully misinformed people say “Oh, they’re just skinnier dwarves” or “they’re just gnomes but boring” or “eww, halflings are pedo-bait”. That last one has made me scream obscenities, not gonna lie. But sadly, reductionism is all too easy. So please, lend me a moment of your time to outline what halflings actually are.

1. Halflings Are Friends. This really doesn’t require me to explain it, to be honest. The world’s most comprehensive essay on why halflings are the best friends anyone can have already exists, it’s called The Lord of the Rings. But then, that’s still being reductionist, isn’t it? Everyone in the Fellowship was super friend-shaped, not just the Hobbit Squad. That was kind of a big theme in that whole saga. To flesh this point out a bit, the same way human beings possess an absurd capacity to pack bond with ANYTHING, halflings tend to possess a charitable disposition, generosity of spirit, and natural inclination to help that makes them damn-near optimal buddies. Sure, they might not adopt you on sight like a human, or swear a lifelong oath of friendship like a dwarf, or check in on their favorite human’s descendants every so often like an elf, but once you earn a halfling’s friendship (which still isn’t terribly hard) you have a ride-or-die homie for life. Sure, we all sing Sam’s praises endlessly, but let’s be real, if Sam had been the Ring-bearer Frodo would have been his rock too and you can’t convince me otherwise.

2. Halflings Are Brave. Contrary to what some may think, halflings are not fearless, but they do embody the saying that “courage is not the absence of fear, it is the will to act in spite of fear.” Halflings know fear, of course they do, they average around three feet in height. But when a halfling comes into danger, it’s usually either because they’re in the middle of doing something important, or because danger showed up to threaten their home. Either way, a halfling’s gotta do what a halfling’s gotta do. That doesn’t mean every halfling is a Leeroy Jenkins; most of them aren’t that hot-blooded. But every halfling knows in their bones that fear just isn’t important enough to stop them from helping. A halfling is more afraid of their community or their friends getting hurt than they are of getting hurt themselves.

3. Halflings Have Wonder. Halflings are often compared to children, even called “child-folk” sometimes. Hence why some people seem to think of them as “pedo-bait”. Yuck. They’re just short, people, they aren’t lolis or shotas, they grow sideburns for Pete’s sake. The other big reason halflings are considered childlike, besides their height, is that the have that indelible sense of wonder that us humans often associate with children. Halflings don’t grow tired and jaded, they know the endless potential that comes with each new day, with each new person they meet, and each new place they go. You know that meme where Marge Simpson holds up the potato and says “I just think it’s neat”? That’s a halfling about literally anything. Not everything, they have personal interests of course, but a halfling can find the “neat!” in literally anything. No matter how many people they meet, they’ll still be excited to get to know someone new. No matter how far they travel, a new vista can still take their breath away. No matter how much pain they have to endure, they’ll still be grateful for a new day to find new wonders in their life.

4. Halfling Are Modest. Why are halflings so helpful, brave, and always looking for the new no matter how much they experience, good or bad? Because they don’t think too highly of themselves. That’s not to say that they have low self-esteem or that they lack pride. A halfling knows, without self-deprecating, that they’re only a small part of the world, but they also know, without ego, that the world would be less without them, and that the same is true of most anything in the world. Sure, there are bad things that probably no one would miss, but most things in the world have some value to someone. Most people might be terrified of spiders (yours truly included) but there are also people who think they’re the coolest, and regardless of how you feel about them personally they have a valuable place in the food chain. Halflings never lack for wonder because they aren’t afraid of how vast the world is. Halflings are great friends because nothing they want for themselves is more important than supporting the people they care about. Halflings are courageous because they know there are too many precious people and things in the world to only be worried about saving their own skin, otherwise they wouldn’t have left the comfort of home! Halflings aren’t easily overwhelmed, but they generally know when something isn’t to be taken too lightly, either.

5. Halflings Are Lucky. I know that “lucky” isn’t really a personal quality, but it’s nevertheless an essential part of what makes halflings so Neat™. This is, in fact, the converging point of the halfling traditions of Friendship, Courage, Wonder, and Modesty. As much as I feel burned by the Wizards, they did introduce me to a concept that I really, really like, and I don’t believe in throwing away good ideas just because I’m mad at the people I got them from. That the reason halflings are so lucky is because they’re such wholesome and kind folk, beset by danger on all sides, that in a world where Good is a fundamental force, the universe itself looks out for them every once in a while. And if the very universe appreciates halflings that much, I think we should too. Plus, you kids wanna talk about cryptid characters? What’s more cryptid than a happy-go-looking chubby homebody with a name like Bernie Teakettle who goes out to check their mail, gets swept up into High Adventure, and Mr. Magoos their way through stopping an apocalypse? King shit, that is.

So in summary, much like the potatoes they cherish, halflings are just really neat.

Fuck the kender tho, tbh. All my homies hate the kender.

If you’re still doing the ask meme naturo

I will keep answering if I keep getting sent series and shows, I suppose.

Character I first fell in love with: …y’know, it took me a while to really get in Naruto’s groove back when I was reading it, but I am a sucker for a shonen protagonist. So my answer is Naruto.

My other answer is his father, Minato.

A character I used to love/like, but now do not: I don’t have a good answer for this. My heart remains steady and true.

A ship that I used to love/like, but now do not: NaruHina, if you can believe it. It was a gradual and mild “like” that fell into a swift decline, but it qualifies.

My ultimate favorite character: …Naruto’s father Minato. I don’t really remember how his entire plotline fleshed out but I just liked him on sight for whatever reason. Even though his long sideburns are stupid.

Prettiest character: I do honestly think it’s Sakura or Sasuke. Honorable mention Kushina.

My most hated character: Sasuke.

My OTP: I don’t.

My NOTP: Most of the canon pairings.

Favorite episode: Admittedly I loved early Naruto of squad 7 doing random missions and stuff, and training together. I also enjoy all of Rock Lee’s fights, and it’s nice to see Gaara and his siblings after the chuunin exam.

Saddest death: Haku! Mostly because I remember it the best.

Favorite season: The first one? I actually did like the season where Sasuke leaves Konoha, though…

Least favorite season: Um. I didn’t watch them all to know.

Character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but I hate: Sasuke, though I tend to really like Sasuke fans because I agree with most of what they have to say about the series. It is a fine line I walk.

Maybe Jiraiya? But I don’t really hate him, either.

My “you’re a piece of trash, but still my favorite”: Naruto himself.

My “beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this” favorite: None of them are cinnamon rolls, but pretty much everyone in the cast under 30 years old and then a few others above that bracket fit into this category, even if I don’t like them.

My “this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but I still love it” ship: I will have to think about that! I don’t know!

My “they’re kind of cute, and I lowkey ship them, but I’m not too invested” ship: My longtime friend made me have a soft spot for Gaara/Sakura. Also Sakura/Ino, I guess.