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feverishly-kpop · 1 month

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Ateez - Flu - Part 6

It was noon by the time Seonghwa returned with Yunho in tow. Hongjoong popped his head out of his bedroom, dismayed to find his dongsaeng still flushed with fever but took solace in the fact that the glaze in his eyes had lightened up since the prior day.

“He’s doing a lot better, Joong” Seonghwa reassured upon noticing the concern on Hongjoong’s face as Hongjoong joined him in the living room. “His temperature is down and he has some meds to keep it that way, but they said the fever won’t break for another few days. The meds have been knocking him out straight away though so that’s something.”

Yunho groaned at the reminder, the fever taking its toll on him and his brain feeling scrambled and groggy from his medication.

“I’ll put him to bed” Seonghwa said as he wrapped an arm around Yunho’s shoulder. “Can you grab him a bottle of water?”

Hongjoong made it to the kitchen before his vision blurred, a reminder of the illness that was setting in with no regard for the fact he had sick kids to take care of. He took a few moments to collect himself, letting the dizzy spell pass for the time being.

Once Yunho was settled in Seonghwa and Hongjoong collapsed on the couch, both clearly exhausted.

“Did you sleep last night?” Hongjoong broke the silence, already knowing the answer.

Seonghwa shook his head as he rubbed his eyes harshly. “His nurse wanted me to go home for the night but I didn’t want him to wake up alone.” Hongjoong nodded in understanding at that. He would have done the same thing. “I tried to sleep in the chair but I couldn’t get comfortable. How about you? How are Mingi and Wooyoung doing?”

Hongjoong sighed before responding. “Mingi is Mingi. He wants nothing to do with anybody right now. I’ve been forcing tablets and water into him. He’s not very happy with me right now. And Wooyoung…” his voice trailed off for a moment before continuing. “I tried to get him to sleep in San’s bed and have San stay with Yeo and Jongho but he ended up in bed with me.”

Seonghwa glared at him with disapproval. Hongjoong knew that Seonghwa was concerned about him coming down with the flu too, but Seonghwa also had no idea that that ship had already sailed.

“Don’t look at me that way, Hwa. Please.” Hongjoong said defensively. “It was either that or stay up with him all night while he cried. This flu is no joke.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes, the tension in the room building by the moment. “Yeah, I’m fully aware, believe it or not, after spending the night in the fucking hospital with Yunho teetering on the edge of what could have been a dangerous fever. But thank you for the reminder.”

Even in his current state Hongjoong could sense that this interaction was devolving into something that he didn’t have the capacity to deal with at the moment. “You’re right, I’m sorry. You need to get some sleep now though.”

“Shit…no, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to pick a fight…I’m just…yeah I need sleep” Seonghwa quickly agreed. “Please wake me up if you need me though” he added as he trudged off to bed.

*~*~*~*~*~

The sound of the front door opening startled San awake. Seonghwa had his hands full with Yunho and didn’t even seem to notice San, who had taken up residence on the couch.

Wooyoung had kept San and Hongjoong up for the better part of the night and into the early hours of the morning as his fever spiked and the body aches set in. Hongjoong had finally gotten him settled into San’s bed, hoping that keeping Yunho and Wooyoung together and Mingi isolated in his own room would prevent further spread but, by the time Hongjoong carried Wooyoung off to his shared room with Seonghwa, San wasn’t sure where he should sleep. His own room was out of the question, his bedding damp from Wooyoung’s sweat and tears, and he wasn’t sure when Yunho would be coming home and in need of his own bed.

He briefly considered Wooyoung’s bed before pausing. Yeosang and Jongho were the only members that hadn’t been exposed to the flu yet and San had spent the day with Wooyoung. Not wanting to risk it, San made his way to the couch before collapsing into a deep sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~

San quickly sat up and vacated the couch, his mind still hazy with sleep, catching Seonghwa’s attention as he emerged from Yunho’s room.

“Hey, I’m sorry to wake you, Sannie” Seonghwa said with an exhausted smile as he closed the door behind him. “You look tired. There’s no schedules today, why don’t you get a little more sleep?”

San shrugged in response. “I was napping with Wooyoung when he woke up feeling sick so…I can help you and Hongjoong-hyung since I’ve already been exposed.” San immediately regretted mentioning that to Seonghwa as concern crossed his hyung’s face. He immediately spoke up again, hoping to put Seonghwa at ease. “I’m feeling totally fine, don’t worry!”

It seemed to be enough to placate Seonghwa for the time being. “Well please tell me if you start feeling sick, okay?” San nodded quickly in response before Seonghwa continued. “I hate to ask you, but would you mind going out to the store to get a box of popsicles? Yunho was asking for one on the way home and I gave him Yeosang’s last one yesterday but if it will keep him cool and hydrated…” The speed with which Seonghwa was speaking continued to increase until San interjected.

“What puppy wants, puppy gets” San said with a reassuring smile, grabbing his wallet and heading for the door.

*~*~*~*~*~

“Mingi, let me in please” Hongjoong hissed through Mingi’s door, not wanting to wake any of the sleeping members.

He was about to knock again when he felt a vibration coming from his pocket. Hongjoong rolled his eyes as he opened the text from Mingi:

“Let me sleep.”

Hongjoong was about to protest when he received a second message. A picture of an empty bottle of water with a mostly full bottle next to it.

“At least let me check your…” he was once more cut off, this time by a second picture of a thermometer reading 38.1°.

With that Hongjoong admitted defeat. “Please let me know if you need anything.” After glancing into his own room and confirming that Seonghwa and Wooyoung were still both fast asleep and wrapping an ice pack around the back of Yunho’s hand where the IV needle had been inserted in hopes that it would dull the pain that he was complaining of, Hongjoong stepped into the washroom, locking the door behind him. It took a moment of shuffling to find another thermometer in the medicine cabinet but upon locating it behind a box of bandages he popped it under his tongue. He cringed at the quick beeps that signaled a fever before he could even look at the reading. It wasn’t as if he didn’t already know that he was feverish and he was fully aware that sleeping in close proximity to his own personal little space heater, Wooyoung, hadn’t helped at all, but he hadn’t expected his temperature to be 38.5°.

A cough coming from Yunho’s room quickly drew him back to reality. Knowing it was only a matter of time until he was needed again, he quickly swallowed a few of the fever reducers that he had left on the vanity that morning and turned on the shower, opting to take a fast lukewarm shower in hopes that it would get his fever down enough to continue with his day relatively uninterrupted.

If there was anything that Hongjoong was acutely aware of, however, was that no aspect of his life was ever uninterrupted, and a quiet knock on the door reminded him that this situation was no different.

“I’m just getting out of the shower” Hongjoong responded with a sigh as he turned the water off, doing his best to hide the way his teeth were chattering.

“Hyung” the knocking continued as Yeosang’s voice called to him from the other side of the door.

“Yeosang, please give me five minutes” Hongjoong sighed, doing his best to control his temper. Of course he loved Yeosang, but knowing him he’d be asking where the cereal was or confirming tomorrow’s schedule despite Hongjoong having reviewed it twice with him the day prior.

“Hyung, it’s important…its…”

Hongjoong had had enough. Hastily wrapping a towel around his waist, he swung the door open, prepared to lay into Yeosang about respecting one another’s space and about actually listening to what other people were saying. But those thoughts melted away as he found Yeosang awkwardly holding up San as San awkwardly held up a box of popsicles.

“What puppy wants…” San started before interrupted momentarily with a cough. “…puppy gets” he finished, quickly swinging his arm around to hand Yunho’s popsicles to Hongjoong before leaning a little more heavily into Yeosang.

“Sorry, I’m just a little dizzy all of a…” but before San could finish, his eyes rolled back as the rest of his body weight sunk into Yeosang’s arms.

It took a moment for Hongjoong’s fever-addled brain to comprehend what had happened. And even when he realized that San had fainted, it still took his mind another moment to move on from the first and only thought to cross his mind:

Oh. Fuck.

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feverishly-kpop · 10 months

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San & Ateez - Fainting

San was good at a lot of things. In fact he was above average in most things he tried. But there was one thing he wasn’t at all good at. No matter how many times he was spoken to about it, San had an uncanny ability to overlook every message that his body sent him to slow down until he completely crashed.

In retrospect San would be able to pinpoint all of the small things that, if addressed, might have saved him the indignity of passing out in front of the rest of the team and a decent number of staff. But hindsight is always 20/20.

*~*~*~*~*~

The day before it happened San was woken by Mingi who informed him that they had to leave in an hour. San sat up and picked up his phone from his bedside table, shocked that he managed to sleep in until almost 10:00 AM. He shouldn’t have been surprised considering that he hadn’t gone to bed the night before until around 3:00 AM, but he had grown accustomed to running on very little sleep over the last couple weeks.

“Breakfast is on the table” Seonghwa called out to San as he left his room. “Nothing special but enough to hold you over before we go in today. I think it’ll be another late one.”

San was never one to complain about long practices. He loved his job, he loved his team, and he knew how truly lucky he doing a job that millions of people would die to do. But he was tired. Getting out of bed had been getting harder and harder every morning.

He sat at his seat at the table and grabbed some food but spent more time pushing it around his plate than actually eating.

“Everything good, Sannie?” Seonghwa asked as he eyed San at the table looking lost in thought while refilling his coffee. “San?” He repeated when he didn’t get a response.

“Huh…” San responded suddenly, his head shooting up at the second mention of his name, seeming startled by Seonghwa’s sudden appearance.

With San meeting Seonghwa’s eyes for the first time that day, Seonghwa couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under his dongsaeng’s eyes and how bold they were against his pale skin.

“Are you feeling okay? You’re looking a little peaky today” Seonghwa said softly, sitting down next to San. San quickly nodded his head, taking a bite of food to appease his hyung.

“I’m just tired” he responded with the most convincing smile he could muster. “But we all are with the next tour date coming up.”

Seonghwa cupped San’s cheek in his hand, running a thumb under his eye. After a few moments of looking San over and confirming that he didn’t feel at all warm, Seonghwa relented, standing up with his coffee and heading off to his room.

“Please finish your breakfast, Sannie” Seonghwa called from his doorway. “There’s two more cups in the coffee pot too, if Mingi doesn’t get to them before you.”

By the time they were getting ready to leave San had managed to eat most of the small serving he had put on his plate that morning and a full cup of coffee. He tried his best to convince himself that he just needed a few minutes to wake up as he followed Seonghwa and Mingi out of their apartment to head to work.

*~*~*~*~*~

Even a few hours into their dance practice, San still couldn’t shake the hazy feeling he had woken up with, and he could tell that it was impacting his performance.

Their choreographer had joined them for practice that day to check on their progress as they prepared a new stage for next stop on their tour next month but he didn’t seem pleased with their progress. San stood quietly against the wall looking on while the choreographer pulled Yunho aside to exchange what appeared to be fairly heated words.

He couldn’t hear a word that was being said but he instantly noticed Yunho’s shoulders hunch defeatedly and tense up at their choreographer’s words. San stood across the room feeling helpless until the choreographer’s eyes shifted to San and Yunho’s face, flushed and flustered from the conversation he was in, turned to look at him as well.

Yunho immediately turned back around and hung his head, realizing that San had been watching the entire time. Yunho nodded and indicated something with his hands that seemed to end the conversation. Their choreographer turned to wave goodbye to the rest of the members who had not noticed what had just happened before turning and leaving them to continue to run practice on their own.

To say that San felt mortified was an understatement. His performance had been mediocre at best and downright sloppy at worst for the entire rehearsal. He watched as Yunho turned around looking completely overwhelmed before fixing a smile to his face and announcing that they would need to keep working on cleaning the choreo up before their choreographer came back to work with them again tomorrow. He gave the team a five minute warning before grabbing his water bottle and stepping out of the studio.

San quietly followed him out the door, knowing that he was very much responsible for botching their rehearsal. He found Yunho sitting against the wall with his knees drawn up to his chest, taking a few sips of water to try to calm himself down.

“I’m so sorry” San said, sitting down in front of Yunho. “I know I’m not doing well today. I’m sorry you had to bear the brunt of it.”

Yunho shrugged, trying to fake a smile. “It’s fine, San” was all he could muster, making San feel even worse. Yunho couldn’t even deny that San was the cause of his situation.

“I’ll be better, I promise, okay” San pleaded as Yunho buried his face in his knees. For a moment Yunho didn’t utter a word and San considered calling Seonghwa or Hongjoong out into the hall, concerned that Yunho may be on the verge of a panic attack. But after a few moments of uncomfortable silence Yunho looked up at him.

“Go back inside. I’ll be in soon” Yunho said softly. San tried to protest, not wanting to leave Yunho alone, but the look he got from Yunho was enough to send him away immediately.

*~*~*~*~*~

When Yunho returned to the studio after a few minutes San was shocked that he had pulled himself together so quickly. San, on the other hand, had been trying to get his head in the right place while they waited for Yunho, having a few sips of water and a couple bites of a protein bar in hopes that it would make him feel more alert for their practice to begin. Unsurprisingly, however, his brain was just as cloudy as it was before the break but now he had what felt like a boulder sitting in his stomach.

“We are going to run it from the top a few times in a row” Yunho said in a voice that was convincingly upbeat to anybody that hadn’t just witnessed what San had. “Then we will run it individually. If you’ve mastered it after your individual run through then you can go home. If not you’ll stay and we will keep running it together and individually until you’ve made enough progress to be done for the day.”

The rest of the team nodded, most of them confident that they’d be able to leave after their individual run. San knew that wouldn’t be the case for him but hoped that Yunho was feeling lenient, a big ask considering the trouble San had caused him already today.

They ran through the choreo three more times as a group before beginning individual runs. Mingi was dismissed, followed by Yeosang. Wooyoung, Seonghwa, and Hongjoong, and Jongho were given a few small corrections and told to stay. San was the last to do his individual run through, performing noticeably worse than everybody before him. Yunho stood up from where he had been watching the rest of the members and started in on San’s corrections. Lots of corrections.

San’s brain struggled to keep up with everything that he was being told and he was getting beyond frustrated. He knew the moves. Nothing that Yunho was telling him or demonstrating for him was new. Yet no matter how hard he tried his body just would not do what it was supposed to do.

The number of members at the studio continued to dwindle. After another group run through Wooyoung did his individual run, making the small corrections he had been given and running to the door once he was dismissed. Seonghwa and Jongho were dismissed shortly after and Hongjoong followed after another round, leaving only Yunho and San.

Yunho and San ran it together. Then San ran it. Then Yunho ran it himself to demonstrate. Then together, then just San.

Over and over.

And still San continued to make mistakes. Repeating mistakes. Making new mistakes. Fixing mistakes just to make the same mistake later in the song. He was exhausted. His head was beginning to ache. He couldn’t keep going.

After running through it once more together, Yunho shrugged. He had been working with San for almost three hours without much marked improvement.

“What else do you need from me?” Yunho asked, looking equally exhausted. “I want to help you San, I really do. But I’m tired. You’re tired. It’s just not happening tonight.”

San looked down, feeling ashamed and aggravated.

“I know the choreography” San muttered. “I just…I don’t know, I can’t do it today” he added.

Yunho nodded as he packed up his things. “Let’s try again tomorrow. It happens. It just sucks that it happened when our choreographer was here…”

The disappointment in Yunho’s voice was palpable to San. Against his better judgement, San queued the track up on his phone.

“I’m actually going to stay and keep running it” San said, trying to fake a smile. Yunho attempted to argue against it but San cut him off immediately. “Go have some dinner. You’ve worked hard today. And…” San paused, “I’m sorry for what happened today. Tomorrow I’ll prove to you all that I can do it.”

*~*~*~*~*~

San continued running the number, back to back to back, unsure how many times he’d run it and how long he’d been there alone. He was only startled to reality when he tripped over his own foot and ended up falling on his backside.

Grabbing his phone, he glanced at the time. Midnight. Yunho had left over three hours ago and, in three hours, he had made no progress. San had had enough, packing his bag and setting off back to his apartment on foot.

When he arrived back he found Seonghwa and Mingi already asleep but it took San some time to fall asleep that night. He spent some time tossing and turning, thinking about all that had transpired, making it impossible to relax. After hours of stressing, San finally managed to drift off.

*~*~*~*~*~

San woke the next morning before his alarm and instantly knew that something was wrong. He felt hot all over but also strangely cold to his core at the same time. He was dizzy, his head hurt, his muscles ached, and he felt a vague sense of nausea. After prying himself from the comfort of his bed he headed slowly toward the washroom, flipping the light on and getting a look at himself. And, to absolutely no surprise to San, he looked just as sick as he felt.

San pulled out the thermometer that Seonghwa had made sure to place in the washroom cabinet for them when they moved in, sticking it under his tongue as he ran a hand through his hair, trying to look a little less like he had one foot in the grave. After a minute the thermometer beeped confirming San’s suspicion. He was burning up.

It’s not that there was ever a good time to get sick, but this felt like the worst possible time to San. He was already in hot water with their choreographer after the prior day and the last thing he wanted to do was be a disappointment again.

And Yunho.

San groaned, he didn’t want to disappoint anybody but Yunho had stayed with him for hours. The thought of messing up in front of the choreographer and Yunho getting lectured about it made him feel even more sick than he already was.

He had to get better before practice. And if he couldn’t get better then he’d have to be able to pretend he was better. There was nothing more to it than that.

*~*~*~*~*~

San popped a few tablets before going back to sleep for a few more hours. When he woke up he slipped a bucket hat on low enough to cover at least part of his face and threw on a mask for good measure. When questioned about it by Mingi on their way out he said that his skin was breaking out and he wanted to cover it up, evading his suspicion for the time being.

For as off as he was feeling the prior day, he was feeling unspeakably worse now. Every movement just hurt.

Once they were stretched and warmed up, Yunho glanced at his watch. “Our choreographer will be here in a couple minutes. Things looked better for the most part last night” he said, a hint of anxiety in his voice.

San didn’t fail to catch it. “For the most part.” For the most part very clearly excluded him.

Yunho wrang his hands together before speaking again. “Does anybody have any questions?” His eyes darted momentarily to San before averting them back to his hands. The members all shook their heads, ready to make what would hopefully be a better impression on their choreographer than yesterday.

After another minute their choreographer arrived, asking for a straight run through right away. San took a swig from his water bottle, hoping a little extra hydration would get him through.

It did not.

It all happened so fast.

San started in his position next to Wooyoung who flashed him a small thumbs up. He didn’t hear the music start over the sudden ringing in his ears. He missed the first beat and was already behind, a mistake he hadn’t made the evening prior. The last thing he remembered was looking up at Yunho who looked equal parts pissed and concerned.

“I’m sorry Yuyu” he mouthed before his eyes became too heavy to keep open. And then nothing.

*~*~*~*~*~

When San came to their choreographer and a few other staff were gathered over him and his head was resting on Yeosang’s lap.

It hurt. His head hurt. Quite badly. And he was so hot.

As if on cue he felt a cool cloth being placed on his forehead.

San cracked his eyes open again, a little wider this time.

“There he is” a manager said softly. “You’re okay, just relax, Sannie” he added as he noticed San’s eyes flitting back and forth, trying to figure out what had happened.

A few of the staff took a few steps back now that San was awake, making room for Seonghwa and Hongjoong to kneel down next to him.

“You didn’t say anything to anybody?” San frowned at Seonghwa’s question.

“Sorry” he replied, feeling like his mouth was filled with cotton.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it San. This was stupid and reckless…” Hongjoong started before being cut off by Seonghwa.

“We will talk about that later Joong-ah. Let’s let him get his bearings first.” Seonghwa could always be counted on to keep the team calm during stressful situations.

“Is Yunho mad?” San asked suddenly, turning his head looking for Yunho before the pain stopped him.

“What…why would he be mad? Sannie…” Wooyoung said, stepping forward so San could see him and taking his hand.

Tears began welling up in San’s eyes, startling the rest of the team.

“Where is he? He must be so mad” San cried, the tears flowing freely now.

“He stepped out to get some ice for you, Sannie, you’re burning up. Don’t cry, he will be right back” Seonghwa said soothingly, readjusting the compress on San’s forehead.

Just then Yunho reappeared through the door with a bag of ice. The sight of him made San sob even harder, catching him off guard.

“Yunho, please don’t be mad at me. Please! I know the choreography…” San said, reaching a hand up to Yunho.

Yunho handed the ice off to Jongho before sitting down next to San and grabbing his hand.

“I don’t want you to get in trouble again” San said quietly to Yunho, who looked around awkwardly.

“I’m not in trouble, Sannie. I wasn’t in trouble yesterday. Our choreographer was disappointed and I got upset. I’m sorry…” Yunho responded, trying to keep the conversation between himself and San as he hadn’t discussed the situation with the rest of the team. “It’s all good. I know you know the choreography and I have a feeling that you weren’t feeling so well yesterday and that’s why you were having a hard time. Am I right?”

San nodded as Yunho wiped a tear from his flushed cheek. Yunho then turned away from San and wiped a tear from his own eye.

“Let’s get you all home” a manager piped in from across the room after seeing how shaken they all were from the incident. Nobody disagreed, instead silently packing up and helping San up and downstairs to the van.

*~*~*~*~*~

After a couple days of rest San was beginning to feel better. Yeosang checked his temperature and confirmed that his fever had broken.

“Don’t do that again, pabo” Yeosang said as he playfully flicked San’s forehead. “Now go back to sleep. You’re back to work the day after tomorrow as long your temperature stays down” he reminded San from the doorway.

“Yeah, I’m not planning on this ever happening again” San responded as Yeosang closed his door. He then fell asleep, set on making the most of his last two days off and catching up on as much sleep as he could.

#kpop sickfic #kpop fluff #sickfic #ateez fluff #ateez sickfic #sick san #San sickfic #san fluff

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