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drurrito · 2 years

Text

'till i d-i-e

a/n: and here it issss, the final part of this universe -- I will keep my thoughts in the tags.

summary: You're not sure if you can hold on much longer.

warnings: torture, cursing, angst lol

----------------

You wake up, soaked, shaking and gasping for air.

“Wakey, wakey, Avenger,” the man grins, you’re usually awake and taking jabs at him as soon as he walks through the door. Exhaustion has kept you asleep for longer than you’d like to be. You’re wearing thin, you don’t know how much more you can take.

“What? No breakfast in bed?” your fatigued lips pull into something that looks like a smirk.

“Ah, you’re hungry! Here, let me start you off with some water-” he kicks your chair over and it begins. You’re just thankful he’s starting with something easy.

Honestly, none of this feels real at this point.

You can’t help but wonder if you’re already dead.

It’s fine, you never thought you’d make it to heaven, anyway.

You just feel guilty for not doing things differently--regret weighs heavy on your bones while you think of all the choices that led you here, alone and-

Afraid.

It’s not that you’re afraid to die, you’ve made your peace with that notion long ago. But there’s something unnerving, even for you, about dying alone.

Maybe the team thinks you are dead by now.

Maybe they’ll never come looking for you.

You never got to apologize to Wanda. You think she’s better off with Vision but it feels wrong knowing you just shoved her into his arms because she got too close.

You never got to tell Natasha how you feel. Hell, you never got to tell any of the team how you feel and that’s your fault. Vulnerability never seemed like a safe option for you, avoiding it for as long as you can remember.

But they were so good, so patient. They gave you the space you needed in hopes you would come around and warm up to them.

You never did, and that’s your fault.

Natasha was most persistent next to Steve and Sam. You hate how she always wanted to keep you included. You hate how she was always there to patch you up or put you to bed for the past few months. You hate that she kept showing up for you, because you don’t deserve it.

But you hate yourself more for trying to push her away. You stupidly kept your cards close to your chest and now you’re going to die without ever being truly known.

“Where did you go? Do you not like spending time with me anymore?” the man teases with a wicked grin.

“You know I only have eyes for you,” you remark with a rasp.

“You sound thirsty,” he bites, throwing the towel over you again. The man raises the water can in his arm but stops when he hears panicked knocking at his door.

“Excuse me,” he grumbles, heading towards the door. The man on the other side of the door sounds exasperated, then the alarms start to go off. The door is shut and you can hear the man approaching you with hurried steps.

“It seems our time has been cut short, Avenger,” he sighs, “I will admit, I am a little disappointed I wasn’t able to get you to talk, but we had a lot of fun, didn’t we?” He pulls you out of the chair and hangs you back on the ceiling. You can hear the chaos going on outside the room while the man calmly walks over to his cabinet and pulls out the dagger again. He quickly heats it with the torch and marches over to you with a wild look in his eye that would jump your bones in the worst way if you weren’t so damn tired.

“A keepsake, for you to remember me by, in case your ankles were not enough,” his grin sends a chill down your spine this time. He’s much too lively slashing and burning your chest while you wince and groan in agony, body too exhausted to react much.

You watch him exit down the hall, leaving the door open. You hang there, chest heaving and pain pulsing all over until you see it--a flash of red hair.

Relief doesn’t even begin to explain what you’re feeling now, it’s enough to drain the pain your body is drowning in. Natasha’s eyes meet yours and you’ve never seen a more beautiful shade of green up until this moment.

Steve rushes in to lift you off the hook and runs off, saying something about helping the others sweep the floor for more captives. Gentle, calloused hands cup your face as soon as you’re on the floor.

“Y/n, look at me,” Natasha begs, “stay with me okay? Stay with me.”

You crane your head enough to do what she asks and she realizes you’re in pretty bad shape.

You wheeze out a laugh, “I told you not to wait up for me,” is all you can say before you start choking on a cocktail of your blood and spit. Natasha asks if you can stand and you give everything to show her you can even with your legs shaking violently in protest. She hooks an arm around your waist and you make two steps towards the door before you collapse.

“M’okay, Tash,” you mutter against the concrete floor before trying to stand again. Natasha lays a firm hand on your shoulder to keep you down, you don’t see the worried look on her face as you continue to struggle.

“I got this.”

“Stay down, please,” she pleads and that makes you give up. She crouches down next to you while she waits for help, taking inventory of every wound she can find.

“My legs,” you mumble, her eyes flit to your legs before her hands do. She watches you for a reaction as she carefully taps and touches her way down your legs before she finally sees what you mean.

“Oh, y/n,” the pain in her voice makes you wince.

Sam is already running in, scooping you up in his arms to take you back to the jet and for the first time in a long time, you cry.

-----------------

You don’t remember much after being rescued. You were so exhausted you slept for most of your stay in medical. But you were never alone, always hearing at least one of your teammates settling in to stay with you in shifts. Things were quiet for the first two nights until your brain had regained enough energy to conjure up nightmares that made you wake up the entire wing of the hospital.

The rest of your stay goes by in a blur until you’re discharged. Steve is there to take you back to the compound.

“Everyone is excited to have you back,” he says, flashing you a smile before keeping his eyes on the road.

“Can’t get rid of me that easy,” you joke, he snorts a little -- not at all surprised by your commitment to keep things light, despite how you got here.

It’s not long until you’re pulling into the compound now, Steve rounds the car to open the door and help you hobble towards the compound doors, home.

----------------

Natasha is bursting into your room, charging towards you. She’s an oncoming train and you’re a car that’s stalled out on the tracks. You sort of wish you were still in the hospital.

“FRIDAY, remind me to start locking my door,” you close the book you were reading and set it down on your nightstand, “what’s up?”

“What’s up?” Natasha’s chest puffs up so quickly you’re sure she’s going to explode any second. “You’re a fucking idiot,” it comes out like a low growl from the woman.

“Are you just here to hurl names at me?”

“Where the <;i>fuck</i> do you get off shutting everyone out and then running off to almost get yourself killed?”

“I don’t-”

“I’m not done,” she bites, “You’re on a team,” she starts to pace around your room. Your breathing is shallow and quiet, you want to disappear into the mattress beneath you.

“We might not be your favorite people on the planet but--fuck, y/n!”

“I know you’ve read my file, Tash,” you spit back, “you know I wasn’t dragged in here kicking and screaming!” you get up too, only a few steps from being nose to nose with her now.

Natasha recoils, taking a few steps back. She remembers the grisly details of your life before the Avengers. A death-dealing mercenary since you were thirteen, kept in a cage unless you were sent away on contracts. On paper, you had every right to be this miserable, wrathful person. But she was met with bright eyes, an infectious laugh and a chin held sky-scraper high when she first met you. It was jarring, to meet someone who managed to bloom under the most heinous of circumstances. She likes to think of you as a flower that never dared to stop growing.

“We’re supposed to be heroes, right?” you break her from her thoughts, guns still blazing, “that’s what I was doing, I was being a hero. I was saving Bucky, and Steve, fuck I was saving the whole team if you really look at the bigger picture, Tash!”

“You are such a prick!” she huffs, her hands clench into fists as she walks toward the other end of the room. She tries to gather herself before speaking again, feeling as fragile as can be.

“You were supposed to come back,” her voice is pained, but it will not break, “I should have…I should have gone with you-”

“Don’t,” you warn, “Bucky was right there! I wasn’t going to let Steve lose him again,” you bite your tongue and try to steady yourself. You didn’t plan on dealing with this…with her…so soon.

“I would have done the same for you, for anyone on this team,” you say it with bone-chilling certainty.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she says, shoulders deflating, “when Steve told me what happened,” she can feel her voice decay and brittle with each word, “it seemed like…like you wanted to just-” Natasha chokes out a sob.

“Give up?” Natasha doesn’t answer, instead turning her head away to gasp for air and wipe away her tears. You can’t help but scoff. Unbelievable. Did the entire team write you off as a coward or just her?

“You think I keep putting it all on the line in hopes that one day I’ll get taken out, like that?” You snap your fingers to punctate your words and Natasha flinches.

“I don’t know how to not go full tilt on missions. I’m good at what I do for a reason. If I don’t get the job done by any means necessary then it means I’ve failed!” You bark out, feeling your chest crack and split open.“I’ve failed the mission, I’ve failed the team, and I’ve failed everyone depending on me. Why would the Avengers want to keep around some fuck-up. I wouldn’t!”

You sit back down and cross your arms, your leg bounces wildly to relieve some of the rude buzzing in your muscles. Natasha’s eyes are filled to the brim with tears that she’s holding hostage. The tension is packed thick, if anyone lit a match in the room right now the entire compound would be blown sky high.

“Durachok,” Natasha shakes her head with a gloomy laugh.

“What?” You whip your head towards her with a tense jaw. She sees your nostrils flare and laughs again.

“You don’t have to fight for a place on this team,” her voice is small and sweet now, it boggles your brain, “your life isn’t some kind of currency you need to throw around all the time to buy acceptance. You belong here, y/n.”

You let go of a trembling breath and bury your head in your hands while you try to get a hold of yourself. Every part of you is screaming that Natasha is lying, that she doesn’t mean any of it. You just want to scream and crumple to your knees but instead you straighten up and root yourself with a breath.

“I never knew what it felt like to belong,” your voice is frighteningly soft, “until now.” You’re looking dead ahead at Natasha and she can feel herself wavering. She’s waiting for a smirk, a joke, any of your usual quirks that would tell her you’re not serious. But you are.

“It scares me,” you heave a shuddering breath and Natasha has to wrestle every fiber of her being. She just wants to reach out and be there for you beyond just standing there like some dope.

“I don’t want to lose this feeling,” you close your eyes and squeeze your hands into fists, opening and closing them like that while focusing on your breath until you feel grounded again.

“I don’t want to lose any of you.”

“You won’t,” she takes a step closer to you, “I promise you won’t.”

“It’s funny,” your laugh is empty, humorless, “When I was down there, in the thick of it, I thought about how,” you sniffled, “if I died, the funeral would probably be shorter than the drive to the burial site.” your lips pull into a pained smile. ”I never gave any of you much to say about me, and that’s my fault.”

“Were you scared?” The words spill out of Natasha’s mouth before she registers it’s her own voice speaking.

“Fucking terrified.” you choke. Natasha doesn’t waste another second, she takes a seat next to you and pulls you in for a bone-crushing embrace. You just collapse into her, sobbing. You’ve lost count how many times you cried since you’ve been back, you don’t have the energy to care about that sort of thing anymore.

“Thank you for opening up to me. I know it’s hard,” she whispers against your temple.

“I’ll try not to make a habit out of it,” you joke, laughing to the sound of Natasha heaving the world’s longest, loudest sigh.

----------------

You’re emotionally spent when Wanda shows up at your door later that night.

“Hey,” she wraps her robe tighter around herself and fidgets with the material. Her eyes immediately fall to the fresh scars on your chest while you rub the sleep from your eyes. Her lips tick into a small frown and her arms twitch at her sides to reach out and graze the marks with her fingers. She never asked about the length of your injuries when you were still in the hospital. She was more focused on staying by your side. You were dazed and hardly talking, it was a version of you that she’ll never miss.

“Hey,” you realize she’s alone, no Vision in sight, “everything okay?”

“Yeah,” she tersely nods, “yeah, everything’s fine. How are you settling in?”

“So far so good,” you breathe, feeling weirdly nervous, “wanna come in?”

Wanda keeps fidgeting with her robe for a beat, she’s certainly no stranger to your room and doesn’t pretend to be as she brushes past you. You close the door with a soft click and stay there until you feel your nerves die down.

“I’m sorry,” you start, “I was a dick.”

Wanda blinks a few times, she wasn’t expecting you to apologize for anything right now.

“I was so scared of you,” you murmur. Wanda thinks this is some kind of joke, you always make it a point to say you never get scared. Now you’re admitting otherwise?

“Are you okay?” She asks, not expecting a real answer.

“I am, honest,” you leave the door and step closer to her. “I’m just…I’m sorry,” you apologize again and Wanda feels like her head is going to spin. “You were genuinely trying to connect with me and I just…did everything I could to avoid being vulnerable, even if it meant pushing you away.”

“It's okay,” she tries to soothe but you’re animatedly shaking your head, “it’s not,” you insist. “You made me feel seen,” you say quietly, “and I ran away from it.” You feel a lump in your throat but you keep it there. You need to feel this. You’re not pushing things down anymore.

Wanda can see the tears pooling in your eyes and it takes all of the air out of her lungs to see you like this. She’s only ever seen glimpses before. You were usually quick to shut down or deflect with humor. But now, you’re standing in front of her on the verge of tears, real tears.

Her chest aches, she takes a few careful steps towards you until she’s close enough to pull you into her arms. You let her, you missed this, you missed her.

“It’s okay,” she mumbles against your neck, “I forgive you.” She knows you need to hear it by the way your body sinks further into hers.

----

You stay up talking to Wanda for a while. She tries to catch you up but you didn’t miss much. Time at the compound screeched to a halt when you were gone. There weren’t any movie nights or team bonding activities. It was an all hands on deck operation to bring you back.

“They were gonna call Carol?” You ask, astonished that Fury would even green light such a thing.

“Natasha was hell bent on getting you back,” Wanda says with a small smile. She starts to play with the lapel of her robe, “she loves you, you know?”

You face contorts into a cocktail of confusion and disbelief. You want to try and say something about it but Wanda continues, “I think I knew deep down, when we were together, that you loved her back.”

“I don’t-” you sputter.

“It’s okay,” Wanda says for the umpteenth time that night, “I’m just wondering if you’ve said anything to her yet.”

Your shoulders slump and you sigh, “no, of course not.”

“You should get on that,” Wanda musters up half a smirk despite the soreness she feels in her chest. Vision makes her happy, he genuinely does. She knows she loves him the same way she loved you. She just can’t help but mourn what you two could have had if things were different. She has her answer though, there wasn’t much of a chance for her to begin with.

Wanda gets up from your bed with a yawn and you follow her to your door.

“This was nice,” she nods, her smile faltering.

“It was, I’m sorry it took me almost dying for us to talk like this,” you laugh and she lightly smacks your stomach.

“Don’t be a stranger,” she warns with a familiar tenderness that makes you feel warm all over again.

“I won’t, I promise,” you say it like you mean it. Wanda stands there for a moment before leaning up to press a kiss on your cheek.

“I really missed you,” she murmurs before walking down the hall. You stand there for a little longer when it sinks in that she wasn’t just talking about you being taken. She missed you, the real you.

----------------

Natasha wakes up to a knock at her door. She opens it to find your face understandably puffy and worn from today’s events. Your arms squirm against your sides and for a moment Natasha thinks you just woke up from a nightmare.

“I talked to Wanda,” you mumble. You’re not looking Natasha in the eye and she can feel a familiar pang in her chest while she tries to push that mental picture out of her mind.

“Yeah?” She tries not to sound so dejected.

You clear your throat and shift uncomfortably, “She helped me realize that I needed to take one more risk.” You take a cautious step towards Natasha and reach out to cup her cheeks before pulling her flush against you. She positively hums into the kiss and settles into your touch. Your lips take all the time in the world to drink her in. You feel a little dumb for taking so long to do this. That feeling is long gone by the time Natasha closes the door and slumps against your lips once more.

----------------

You recount the mission gone wrong at the next team bonding (and drinking) night. You admit to being scared, Natasha smacks Tony when he mutters something about being right.

You take the time to thank everyone for being so patient and kind, despite how hard you tried to push them away. Sam hums a little louder than he expected to and that earns him a look from Steve.

“I really feel like I belong here,” you say with unshakable confidence. You believe it, you honestly do.

“You do belong here, y/n,” Steve assures you, the rest of the team nods. You can’t help but smile, overwhelmed by the support and love from this team, your team.

“You always did,” Natasha reaches for your hand and squeezes it. You feel that warmth again as she pulls you towards the middle of the couch. Everyone else settles around you, Tony picks a movie from the queue before flopping down onto the couch next to Bruce.

You watch the movie with a team you’ve grown to love so much, finally feeling seen, finally feeling like you belong.

#this took a little bit of emotional labor ngl #but here we are and im so proud of finishing this series #shoutout to all of yall that came along and stuck around for this little series #i got more ideas obvi #i wont be adding any more to this universe (im like pretty sure)#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda x reader

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