!!!

i really appreciate discourse on penelope featheringtons character but it also reminds me that some people dont understand that she's not supposed to be this amazing gracious person. shes flawed and loyal and stubborn and she's also, guess what - 18 years old! i cant think of one good decision i made when i was that young and she has so much pressure to be what shes not.

penelope is not a great person, and THATS THE POINT. she's flawed and makes many mistakes and in the end, were some of the things she did selfish? sure. does it make her the devil reincarnated? no.

people is a teenager that has two friends and is ignored by her family. she is 18 and on the marriage market. she doesn't have much say on how her future will turn out but she DOES have a platform.

penelope is doing what she can and protecting her loved ones the only way she knows how. is that a good way to deal with her issues? not at all. but she's not perfect and LW is the only way people hear her (eloise only listens to her occasionally). you can argue all you want about her not deserving colin but its not like she's publishing things that aren't true or would not have come to light later on.

the point i'm trying to make is that female characters shouldn't have to be angels for the audience to accept them. i dont see one word about anthony when he attempted to literally KILL his best friend in a duel, or when he tried to place his sister in an arranged marriage when she wanted to marry for love. anthony is flawed too but the fandom sees past that because he was protecting his sister. but then what was penelope doing? how is that easier to excuse and look past? was she not protecting eloise and colin from worse fates in the wrong way? you cannot pick and choose what characters you give leeway to. especially when it REEKS of misogyny.

women shouldn't have to be perfect for men to love them. same thing goes for anyone of any gender. i'm tired of female characters not receiving the same treatment as male characters who do the same things.

no one ever claimed that penelope was supposed to be a good person, in fact nicola coughlan has stated multiple times that penelope is not, and that is precisely the point.

i could write a whole essay on this but i will end it here. stop expecting female characters to be perfect in order to deserve any good things.

Conditioned whumpees who respond realistically to being on the outside

Whumpees who display appeasement or avoidance or incessantly apologizing or fleeing when they think someone might be upset with them

Whumpees who are afraid of the punishment they've become accustomed to

Whumpees who recreate lesser punishments to reassure themselves that they will not get the worst option

Whumpees who yell and berate themselves loudly when they make a mistake because in their mind, as long as there is yelling, the consequences end there

Whumpees who inflict small violences on themselves, hitting and pulling so that their caretaker won't have to

Whumpees who hide all the knives/potential instruments of torture if they suspect someone will be angry when they come home

Whumpees who take the initiative to try to influence or control how people respond to them and what they do

Whumpees who push boundaries, who test the waters by doing things that the whumper would have punished them for

Whumpees who keep pushing, for whom life becomes about doing the most terrifying thing they can think of just to see if no one will hurt them for it

Whumpees who do this to the point of self-detriment because their concept of what constitutes dangerous behavior is completely fucked

Whumpees who are people thrust into a world with rules they no longer know with people whom they can no longer read

Whumpees whose stories are about them and their journey into that world, not about their caretaker's shock and horror at their condition

Not me bawling and crying to my bf who’s at the airport travelling to another country about my Manager fucking up my ratings for appraisal 😭

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

Thank you @cass-phoenix and @val-the-bun for coming to me for art here on tumblr! I appreciate you so much!

Thank you to my lovely friend u/liet97 on reddit for buying me all that food in return for your art haha

And for my sister who has zero social media presence outside of A03 I love you, also never ask me to draw that again >_>

If you want to know how much one of the commissions cost / would have cost feel free to ask, I forgot to add them into the pictures and I am lazy :(

sorry for making so many sex jokes i keep forgetting it’s real

I was browsing the tumblr site, booping to my hearts content when a t-word related post came up (such a shocker, I know)

And uh... I was right next to a friend of mine (same friend who does the dbd and resident evil streams) and I think she saw it because since that I've been getting tickles like every five seconds and it's amazing

under the cut is the absolute last i will be speaking on this subject matter.

let me firstly just put it out there how fucking ridiculous it is that i have to even address this discourse, and remind a fandom of, let's face it. fully grown adults. (or mostly fully grown adults) how to behave in a fandom. no one in the fandom should be seriously getting bullied over something as miniscule as a dating timeline that literally none of us can pinpoint, and i'm not the only one from the looks of it who is receiving this kind of backlash. all we know is that one of them said near the end of s5 (can't remember who) that they had been dating for "a few months". a relatively loose term that from my understanding means any number 3(to 7???) or higher, so you can interpret that number to fit your narrative any way you like, idgaf. but i am going to tell you this once and for all now....

grow... the fuck up. stop cowardly hiding behind anon calling people stupid for how they personally view the timeline. you do not know everything just because you have gone through a pregnancy, and have no right to belittle anyone who has not gone through a pregnancy. (because "oh they got together after angela got pregnant and she gave birth at the end of the season, and it takes 9 months to make a baby blah, blah, blah — god shut uppp!!!!!)

if it really matters that fucking much to you to go all sherlock holmes and go on do a deep dive to figure out the timeline, cool. you do you. i personally do not care to invest so much of my time hypothesizing on something so confusing that i can't confirm, and that you cannot confirm either.

february will come around the corner soon enough and we can all huddle around our tv's and wait for confirmation that again, let's face it! we're never likely to get. at least not in the first few eps anyway.

until then chenford fam... i want you to do better, and be kinder to people. i'm honestly so disappointed to see such a darkness come from this fandom.

Mein gott, this university is full of insane people.

CHRISTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT VRISKA WHAT THE HELL S WRONG WITH YOUUU

if yaz hadnt said anything and just let her walk away at the end of 11x1, how long do you think it would have taken 13 to find a new outfit?

Sorry bab 😔 nicolette & Wang Yi

SEND NAMES OR SHIPS FOR TEXT POSTS THAT REMIND ME OF THEM » ACCEPTING

my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and