Ma’am, the plane’s flying.

The Man isn't exactly a nice song if you have the proper context to actually understand it instead of the making things completely up out of thin air thing that Gaylors who've come to the fandom after the reputation Era prefer, (not that I'm accusing you of doing such, it's just an extremely common thing within the Gaylor fandom) Taylor has an abusive older ex-gf who has a male "alter-ego" named "Charlie" who did something really awful and publicly humiliating to her on February 14th, 2013 and Taylor references that exact date in that scene of The Man MV where all the nasty middle-aged men are pawing and groping at that young women and throwing money with Tyler Swift's face on it at her.

Taylor put the date 2/14/13 on the money and considering how absurdly, intentionally cruel and publicly humiliating the rumored abusive incident that happened to Taylor on that date was, it really paints her view of masculinity as something to be reviled by within the context of The Man MV when the context that Taylor referenced the date that a GNC ex-gf of hers did something extremely abusive and humiliating to her in the MV is added.

Taylor's seems to have gotten over the negative view of masculinity in a generalized sense that she seems to have had in The Man MV these days though, now she seems to have more of a general disdain for the restrictveness of gender roles preventing her from being able to live her life with who she wants for the past decade, which to be fair is something that makes perfect sense to be pissed off about.

But I digress, I've always found the concept of men/masculinity in Taylor's discography interesting because other than the he/him pronouns, Taylor hardly ever assigns stereotypically masculine character traits to either her supposed male love interests or her own male POV character, she'd only really ever assigns them character traits that would be considered generally gender neutral or occasionally a character trait that could be considered mildly feminine.

There's only a handful of songs where Taylor assigns masculinity beyond he/him pronouns or assigns traits that are generally considered to lean more masculine to one of the parties within her songs in a generally positive manner with at least one line in the song off of the top of my head, Ready For It, King Of My Heart, Lover, I Think He Knows, strangely enough Snow On The Beach and Slut!, and those are all songs in which Taylor assigns said traits to either her lover and/or her male beard.

Taylor's personal male POV characters in non-satirical songs never seem to be men, they pretty much always seem to be teenaged boys, and they're never really assigned any particularly masculine character traits, when she chooses to characterize her male POV characters, she generally assigns them what are considered generally childish character traits that are detrimental to the lives of her male POV characters, which is in line with the theme of her arrested development being life-ruining that Taylor has been leaning heavily on for her last couple of albums.

It is very, very interesting and I am glad that Taylor is in a place where she can have fun and experiment with this staple literary device of her's, after all it lead to the amusing delightfulness that is Snow On The Beach, a song in which Taylor uses the segment transition sounds from the Victoria Secret's Fashion Show as part of it's music production in conjunction with a cheeky reference to a Janet Jackson song about Janet really wanting to ride her love interest's nice package tonight being something that Taylor feels for her towards her lover all the time.

ok i have no clue what your opening paragraph is talking about ur on some esoteric fandom gossip that I cant begin to understand but good on you. Are you talking about Dianna? Is Dianna Agron "gender non-conforming"? Does taylor swift have a secret terrible vaguely masc girlfriend who ive never heard of? I need more details anon

Regarding the rest: i don't think taylor made The Man music video because of a negative perception of masculinity that shes grown past, it was far more her satirizing and mimicking very real behavior from the kind of men she probably has had to deal with daily for a good portion of her life and was clearly a pretty honest representation of her frustrations, since she also brought it to Eras Tour with her.

Also because I pick up a vibe (though I could be wrong) I wanna clarify im not a late stage kaylor, which if you are will definitely divide our interpretations on the more gossipy parts of analysis (muse talk relationship timelines etc)

I definitely agree that the men in taylors songs are rarely portrayed as super masculine or heavily gendered, which I think is part of what draws queer women so much to her work. Masculinity is clearly very secondary in what she wants from a partner, or at least she finds it mostly uninspiring as lyrical inspiration unless she can get a good rhyme out of it.. I'm not really sure what masc coding you get regarding the SOTB love interest though, the lyrics feel very abstracted and ephemeral and give very few solid descriptions of the love interest, id def be interested in you expounding on youre reading of SOTB

I dont think taylor writes majorly from a teen boys POV, its mostly just betty being so prominent it kind of overshadows the other examples, but its true she generally avoids particularly masculine terms or characterization thats common in other songs. Part of this is because for choruses, the mans POV often comes as a flip of the original chorus (with the interesting exception of our song, where taylor takes the final chorus while the man takes the first 2 choruses). Theres also the verses that take and flip an earlier lyric within a song (like HYGTG). The most interesting big-machine-era song to me when talking about POV though is still marys song, because the way its written you forget that mary isnt the point of view character, that it opens with "she said" which implies the singer is the "you" who mary is singing to. I really wonder how she ended up writing the song this way, i hope she talks on it a bit in the TV because it's such an interesting and odd decision.

yeah ive heard the VS noise comparison and it is indeed very funny. On top of swifties peer pressuring taylor into turning it into a lesbian duet bc they were infuriated by lack of lana its an absolute gem.

ur last sentence is a little confusing, are you sayong taylor is getting mad dick or strapped down or something? if so good for her

and yeah ive been here since a little before rep, id say i got into taylor a little before/during 1989 and got more into gaylor stuff at the tail end of 1989. Def not an oldhead but ive seen some things lol. Appreciate the message!

Classic Janet

Janet Jackson has entertained the world nearly all her life, and mostly on her own terms.

Photographed in 1993 by Patrick Demarchelier.

The pop superstar (born 1966, Gary, Indiana) is the last child born to Joe and Katherine Jackson. She began her career in 1974, appearing with her musician brothers in their Jackson 5 stage act in Las Vegas, though she got her big break in acting.

Jackson debuted at age 11 in the first episode of the fifth season of CBS sitcom “Good Times,” in an episode first aired in primetime on September 21, 1977 titled “The Evans Get Involved: Meet Penny.”

Jackson plays Penny Gordon Woods, a character that later becomes the adoptive daughter to Evans family friend and neighbor Willona Woods played by Ja’Net DuBois, appearing through the series finale in 1979.

Chip Fields and Janet Jackson appear together in a scene from a 1977 episode of “Good Times.”

Penny’s introduction centers on her childhood abuse at the hands of neglectful birth mother Linella Gordon, played by Chip Fields, real-life mother to “The Facts of Life” and “Living Single” actress Kim Fields.

In one of the most infamous scenes portrayed on television at the time, Linella threatens to burn a frightened Penny with a clothes iron. Willona subsequently finds burn marks on Penny and reports Linella to child services, and successfully petitions a court to adopt Penny three episodes later.

Jackson would go on to continue a career in acting into her teen years, appearing on “Diff’rent Strokes” and “Fame,” before pursuing music at the insistence of her father. Janet’s self-titled debut album in 1982 and its follow up, “Dream Street” in 1984, are both panned by the entertainer in favor of subsequent 1986 breakthrough “Control.”

Album artwork for “Control.”

“Control” would go on to be regarded as one of the most influential pop albums of the 1980s. It debuted at No. 1 on American music industry standard Billboard 200 and produced five chart topping singles on the Billboard Hot 100 (“What Have You Done for Me Lately,” “Nasty,” “Control,” “When I Think of You,” and “Let’s Wait Awhile”), a first for a solo female artist with a single album.

“Control”

Every consecutive Janet Jackson album that followed “Control,” through her release of “All for You” in 2001, debuted at No. 1 in the U.S. (“Rhythm Nation 1814” in 1989, “Janet” in 1993, and “The Velvet Rope” in 1997).

She also continued an acting career amid her success in music, including starring opposite rapper Tupac Shakur in the 1993 film “Poetic Justice,” for which she was nominated for a 1994 Academy Award for theme song “Again.”

The rest of her career is history, one she recorded for a self-titled documentary she also produced for Lifetime in 2022.

Janet Jackson sought to create a name and career for herself that would be viewed as distinct and separate from that of her famous brother and family. She accomplished just that.

Season 13 Sassy Reviews - E1: The Pork Chop

Salutations! Here we are with a quick run of episode 1 - which we can all charitably say was a hot mess, right?

The queens gathered, split into pairs - and one three (would it be Drag Race without one ill-thought-out extra large or extra small team?) to lipsync for their lives in Episode 1 with... no eliminations, because the fandom loves a no-win no-elim premiere, amirite? ...

And of course with this format where they could go all out with gaggery, the producers of course chose... to protect their favorite queens at all costs and clearly signpost to the audience from the first minute exactly who they want us to care about and root for.

Is this the moment the show jumped the shark? Full lipsync review after the jump.

First lipsync is between obvious Vanjie/Shangie-esque life and soul of the party Kandy Muse who blasts into the werkroom with energy at 11, and self-described ‘filler queen’ Joey Jay who boasted in her Meet the Queens of never wearing a wig yet showed up looking like 2001 Christina Aguilera in her entrance look and a notably more subdued 2021 Pink in her confessional.

They lipsync to Carly Rae Jepsen’s Call Me Maybe. Joey gives us all the right showgirl tricks and follows the song hitting every beat and word, while Kandy plays up a schtick and comedy with a few dance moves thrown in for good measure. All in all, it was a pretty equal start in my view from two queens neither of whom are likely lipsync assassins. However, the producers had a different idea, and Kandy is given the first shantay while Joey sashays away.

The second lipsync features ice skater (did you know she skates? It was only hammered home about 8 times in the 3 minutes of screentime she got) Denali vs dancer and seeded-not-the-best-look-queen LaLa Ri, who is very high energy in the confessionals compared to Denali’s slightly more subdued and cautious remarks. Want to guess who wins without even watching it?

Yes, once again, despite Denali pulling an amazing performance out of the bag to the PussyCat Dolls’ When I Grow Up in full-on ice skates on a normal floor including  a Naomi-Smalls-esque full body back bend and a cartwheel, you’ve guessed it, the louder confessional queen wins the second lipsync too, and Denali is sent out back to the loser queens’ holding room.

The third lipsync is between young look queen Symone wearing a dress made of photographs of herself (choices) and cancer-surviving well-established queen mother Tamisha Iman. They’ll perform to Janet Jackson’s The Pleasure Principle. To reiterate, a young, confident, beautiful looks queen - who is friends with Gigi Goode, from the last season - versus an older queen who has been doing drag for 30 years and has tried to get on many years previously. Gosh, wonder who the producers will favor.

If you guessed Symone... you’d be right. Despite Tamisha giving us a near-perfect rendition of Janet-esque choreography with handography the house down boots in a Janet-esque colored suit with shoulderpads, the shantay goes to Symone for...I guess waving her hands in the air a bit and strutting. In truth, Symone did not do badly in the lipsync, but did she win it? Not in my book.

Our resident two kooky queens are up next; Gottmik who is inspired by clowns, and Utica Queen who is inspired by colors and patterns mixed up and blended together. Gottmik is also the franchise’s first trans man competitor.

The two queens give it all they’ve got to Rumors - by Lindsay Lohan. This one’s pretty even, but of course, there was no way they were going to let RuPaul eliminate a trans contestant on the first episode after her past controversies - although, given the number of contestants, a double shantay would be perfectly doable AND would probably build early rapport between the pair - so it’s instead a shantay for Gottmik only and a sashay for Utica.

Fifth lipsync with only one to go gives the floor to Rosé, the drag sister of Jan, from season 12, and Olivia Lux, a young queen who admires and has always looked up to Rosé. Does anyone smell a storyline here?

Rosé is asked by the judges before the lipsync - to Elle King’s Ex’s & Oh’s - starts if she expects to do better than Jan did. Ru has a nasty twinkle in her eye that suggests that no matter how Rosé answers, she’ll make sure it doesn’t come true. Once again, Olivia and Rosé perform quite evenly matched. Olivia arguably gets a bit more into the song, but equally, she breaks into some non-drag-esque air guitar moments that previously saw contestants like Yuhua Hamasaki eliminated. In any case, once again, the typical happens, and it’s bye bye to Rosé while Olivia is given the win.

And finally, we have a three-way lipsync, and the first time I was personally even a little gooped because this resulted in only one queen winning rather than only one sashaying away, meaning that as of the end of episode 1, Season 13 has eliminated over half of its cast. Choices. (Although as if they won’t be back in some way...)

The final three queens into the werkroom are the slightly wallflower-esque yet shady Kahmora Hall, confident-but-perhaps-deluded Elliott with Two T’s, and the big girl winner stereotype the show has clearly been trying to capture for four seasons now, hostess, actress, and comedy queen Tina Burner, a mainstay of the New York drag scene.

Lady Marmalade is the lipsync song this time. Kahmora is a little outclassed by the other two, Elliott especially, who pulls out a number of tricks, flips, and a full side split - even in not the best outfit for the showgirl classic in her half-tank and cargo pants. Tina Burner holds her own with a comedy lipsync playing on her height and age, but it’s quite obvious that she would have been given this win almost no matter how she did. And she does - shantay you stay Tina Burner, and you other two, get off my stage! - was the vibe.

And so we go into episode 2 with six of the 13 queens clearly marked out as The Winners. Do we need any clearer demarcation of who the producers’ favorites will be this season? Is that guaranteed the top 6 - or maybe, at least, most of the places within the top 7 or 8?

I’d love to be gagged by changes as the season goes along, but this premiere had an almost-but-not-quite self-aware vibe to it that left me feeling uneasy in a way I haven’t since season 11. The eliminated queens looked - perhaps unsurprisingly, given the stressful nature of 2020, when this was filmed - genuinely devastated to be put into the losers group on their first episode, only to be told that they can only save themselves by Survivor-esque voting off themselves one of their number - a trick that works better on All Stars because we know by then all the queens competing are wealthy and already well-established, and have just come back for the game, rather than to make or break their livelihood.

I’m very cautious as to how this season will go now, and, to be honest, it’s not quite a death knell, but this did feel like the first steps into a new - and not necessarily better - era for the franchise.

But on the plus side, after this episode, I have a new and unexpected fan favorite queen - Justice for Tamisha Iman!

Black Mamba

Title:  Black Mamba

Characters: James Ashton, Vivian, Reyna, Abbie (Freshman Series, MC), Comfort (OC)

Rating: NSFW and stuff...

Word count: 1,942 words

My disclaimer:  These characters are owned by PB (minus OC obvi), I just enjoy some elaboration. I really love James Ashton and I love Choices fanfics, especially nasty ass stuff but there isn’t much featuring my original bae, James Ashton from The Freshman series

So, I decided to put my amateur ass talent to work and write with James being the *star of the story*

A/N:  * is a separator due to scene change

 It's getting close. Two months left before James and Vivian meet their son. James is much more excited than Vivian, he decorated a nursery both in his and in her apartment. Vivian picked out some things but is selfishly focused on getting back what belongs to her: James. She and Shaun are no longer kissing buddies because she continuously blames him for the breakup. Vivian spends all of her time in baby prep with James or trying to perfect her plan to get James back.

 On the other side of the game, James and Comfort are living their best lives. 

"Hun, look what I made you" Comfort shows James the heart-eyed emoji cake she’s finished in their cooking class. 😍

He smiles at her and shapes his fingers into a heart before returning to the flour mix in front of him to make his cake.

"You want me to finish? Baking is kinda my thing" Comfort teases James who has not mastered the art of baking.

"No, no. I’m going to make the kiss emoji for you." 😘

He's determined to at least try to make this cake.

"I'd much rather the real thing." She says in reference to the kiss emoji cake he plans to attempt.

She leans closer to him

"Oh really?" He pulls her closer and closer until a kiss is no longer optional. She wraps her soft arms around his neck; her heels making her tall enough to reach his lips without standing on her toes. He deepens the kiss, fingers intertwined with the tight coils of her natural curls. She moans, tasting the sweet red he sipped during the dinner lesson on his lips before she barely pulls away.

"We’re the only ones left. Let's get out of here." They kiss again. James catches eyes with the teacher and nods his head toward the door.

“Yeah, let's go " he reaches to grab her hand and they walk out, hand in hand.  

Walking to the car in the cool night air, James looks at Comfort. The way her jeans are fitted at her thighs especially.

She catches him staring. "What?"

"Baby, can I walk behind you!? I need to watch that ASS!' She laughs. "Silly is what you are. Silly."

"Honestly, you're gorgeous. You're the most amazing person I've ever met."

"James Sexy Ashton. Are you trying to take me home?"

"You gonna let me?" She smiles as James opens the passenger side door for her, letting her get in the car before he shuts her door and gets in the car to begin the drive back to his place.

"Comfort. Let's go car shopping tomorrow. "

"You want to buy a new car?"

"I need to. I need a bigger car for when my son is here."

Parked at his complex and now in his apartment, the conversation continues

"I'll go with you."

"I want you to help me pick a car" He is changing into his pajamas when she realizes that she didn’t bring any overnight clothes.  

"You're so damn sexy. Can I wear the shirt that you aren't?"

James turns to grab a shirt out of his drawer to hand to her and they get in bed. He turns on the television but they both have books to read. Comfort lies on top of the bedding with James tee on, wearing her glasses and reading James' book Prescribe to love.

"Really, baby?" James looks at Comfort in disbelief.  

"What? It's my favorite book!"

"Yeah, okay" he puts his book down and hops on top of her; tickling her stomach and showering her face with wet kisses. He fights against her kicking and laughing before he retreats.

"You kicked me pretty hard."

Comfort grabs his face, squeezing his cheeks together, "Aww does honey have a boo-boo? Did I hurt you honey?” she kisses his lips and to his pleasant surprise, she deepens the kiss while allowing her hands to roam, tracing the muscles of his chest and feeling his broad shoulders.

"Baby..." James calls to her before continuing their kiss down to her neck where he focuses for a minute while his own hands travel further up her thigh until he is at her panty line.

"Do you want me to stop?" He speaks in a grainy whisper. This will be their first time together and James doesn’t want to rush anything with her. It’s gotta be perfect.

"No, sweetheart, don’t stop." She is speaking softly though the desire in her voice is apparent. She's only wearing James t-shirt and her panties when James glides the shirt off of her. He looks in her eyes, "How'd I get so lucky? You're like the moon. Brightening my darkness."

She pulls him into a kiss and her hands find their way to his waistband, pushing his pants down revealing his boxer briefs. "Rope Burn" by Janet Jackson plays softly in the background until a mostly naked Comfort turns it just a little louder, "Dance for me honey"

Without hesitation, James stands up to dance for her. Rolling his body and gyrating his hips

"I'm so out of my element," he thinks but doesn't dare show insecurity. 

"Come closer"

She grabs hold of his hand and pulls him as near to the edge of the bed as possible. Following the outline of his erect dick with her tongue only made the imprint more pronounced. She breathes on the imprint, allowing him to feel the moisture of her breath as she watches his excitement become more visible.  

"Comfort, Baby, you're so sexy."

"Shhhh" she places a finger to his lips and starts kissing his waist, slowly pulling his boxers down and kissing every part of his pelvis except his dick. She kisses down until her lips meet his balls. Opening her mouth wider to suck them both. "Mmmmmm" moaning at the sensation of his smooth skin in her mouth. Slowly pumping her hand back and forth on his dick.

"Comfort..."

“Hush. Stay where you are” she speaks so softly; the tone sends tingles in his body. How is she so sexy, so in control of her femininity and how did she hide such freakiness? She gets on her back, head hanging off the bed and immediately returns to sucking his balls. Somehow her head being in a different position gives a different, equally amazing sensation. He's never done this before, but he cannot get enough of it now.

"Baby, " each time he starts to speak, he trails off into moaning. Wildly licking, her tongue meets the skin between his balls and his ass and he doesn't protest so she doesn't stop. This is new territory for James, but it feels amazing allowing her tongue to explore a little more before he speaks

"Damn baby," thinking she is finished but she tells him "Fuck my face." James is equal parts excited and amazed. He didn't know she was a freak like this but he’s certainly loving it. She opens her mouth. “Feed me that dick.” He slowly drops his dick in and out of her mouth until she grasps his thighs pushing him deeper in her throat. Saliva spilling her lips as she holds him in place, forcing him to keep his dick in her throat.

"Comfort. Baby. I..." she releases him from her throat to jack him off, sucking his balls as she does.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh" he explodes on the bed, but Comfort continues to jack him off until he pushes her torso down. "My turn" he pushes her legs apart...

**

"It's hot like summer now, being pregnant "

"The temperature changes are that vivid?"

Abbie asks in disbelief at her friend's exaggerations.

"Yes. They are. Wait till you get pregnant. Anyway, I have to get James back."

"Is he single?"

"No Abbie and guess who he’s dating"

"Becca"

"What? Hell no. Remember Reyna?"

"That girl you worked on the newspaper with Sophomore year of college?"

"Yup. But don’t worry. I have a plan and you will know when it's done."

"Okay, don't get crazy Vivian. "

"Don't worry. I have a call to make though. I'll call you later, k?"

"Okay, bye."

Vivian hangs up with Abbie and dials Reyna.

"Hello?"

"Reyna! Hey! Its Vivian, how are you? Long-time. "

"Hey, Vivian. I'm fine, how are you?"

"Pretty good. Are you still doing investigative journalism?"

"Yes, actually I'm trying to become a reporter. do you have a lead?"

"Less of a professional lead, more of a personal deal but I'm willing to pay and you'll get to flex your skills. Let's meet over coffee to sort everything out. Is that cool?"

Reyna thinks at least I can see James, not knowing that they aren't together anymore

"Sure."

"Great. Why don't I meet you at Linnie’s? I'm sure you know it, the little mom and pop cafe by James' place."

"Umm Sure. Okay" meanwhile Reyna is wondering, why would I know this coffee shop? Why is she referring to his apartment as James' place, doesn't she live there also? Vivian has always been a little strange to her, so she shrugs her shoulders and goes to meet Vivian.

Reyna, of course, arrives first and sits patiently awaiting Vivian. Vivian is only a couple minutes behind her and walks up smiling and apologizing.

"You just move a little slower when you're seven months pregnant. "

"It doesn't even feel as though seven months have passed. I still remember when James first said you were pregnant.”  

Vivian rubs her belly, "Believe me, I've been aware of each of these months" she laughs "Where is James?"

Reyna scrunches her eyes in confusion, "I don't know..."

"Okay. Well, drinks on me. What would you like?"

"How generous of you. Any dark roast with two cream and one sugar. " Reyna didn't want to argue, but she already made plans to slip Vivian money for the coffee.

"Got it. I'll be right back."

Vivian orders and receives the coffee and a hot cider for herself. When mixing in Reyna's cream and sugar she is careful to be unseen slipping a good amount of something extra and stirs. Returning to the table with both cups in hand must look difficult as Reyna stands up to grab a cup from Vivian though she has already made it back to the table and Reyna returns to sitting.

"Thank you, Vivian. So how has your pregnancy been?"

Vivian takes a seat, waiting for Reyna to sip.

"Not bad. I'm mostly hungry, sleepy and hot but our boy has been good to his mother" she rubs her belly while looking down affectionately and notices Reyna still has not taken a sip, so she takes one first.

"How are you and James, Reyna?" Reyna takes a sip.

"Huh? Wha?"

"You heard me. How are you and my man? "

"I ca..I..." Reyna passes out to the ground.

"Oh my God! Help!!" Vivian screams and another customer calls 911.

**

The moment the ambulance arrives, the tech looks at Vivian, “I'm sorry miss. She’s…no longer with us." But Vivian has set her eyes on James, who stands outside the cafe after hearing familiar names on the news. She walks to him, "I’m so sorry about your girlfriend " her face gets angry when she notices a lady’s hand in his. "What? Vivian, this is my girlfriend " he pulls Comfort closer to him and introduces them. "But we can get to know each other later. What happened to Reyna? Is she okay?" Vivian ignores him and walks away

"Damnit! I killed the wrong bitch" she speaks under her breath while heading back into the café to pretend she cares\

Teeny tiny tag list

@zigortega4life

@littlecrookedheart

Janet Jackson Is Back! “Metamorphosis” In Vegas

Janet Jackson showed some boob in a Super Bowl once and was subsequently  brow-beaten into oblivion.  If a pop star were to have a similar wardrobe malfunction today it might turn into a movement, but certainly not a career grenade.  I guess “That’s The Way Love Goes”.  

Last night I popped into the MGM Park Theater on the strip in Las Vegas to catch Janet’s residency show and I was not disappointed.  Let’s just start with the venue since it was a large part of the experience.  The theater has less than six thousand seats and the farthest seat from the stage is only 145 feet away.  It was built for this type of show.  My seats were in the second to last row dead center and I felt like I was right there. If you get a chance to see a show here, do it.  And if you are going to see a show there, make it “Metamorphosis”. 

Miss Jackson, (f you’re at all inclined to be nasty) waxed nostalgic last night when she let the audience in on a little bit of trivia.  She said when she was seven years old she made her stage debut with her brothers right here in Las Vegas, 47 years ago. Now she is back and maybe this time she can stay.  Jackson played all of the hits and also dug into deep tracks with “Moist” and “China Love”, both of which had never before been played live. 

I would like to have a look at Janet Jackson’s fitbit because the woman must have broken it by now.  She is in incredible shape and is still one of the smoothest dance performers I’ve seen.  The dance crew gave a razor sharp high energy performance that made me forget this was a Tuesday night show. The air in the theatre was filled with excitement.  You could tell people were DYING to see this show.  Even the rich folks in the fronty front got up off their asses and off their phones to join the “Rhythm Nation”.  

It’s not fair that Janet Jackson has had to wait this long for her chance to shine again.  There were people in the music and television business who reportedly made earnest efforts to destroy her after the Superbowl performance.  Think about all of the music and dance we have missed out on from one of the most influential women in music. I could have much more easily missed out on Justin Timberlake’s “art” in the last 15 years.  

  PHOTO: COURTESY NORMAN SEEF/ I AM & CO  Fashion never dies, it just hibernates. Still, without evidence, it’s difficult to remember that everything we’re wearing has been done before. When brands unveil their latest collections our oohs and ahhs are really odes to foregone fashion eras. We’re okay with that. I can’t think of anything people love more than nostalgia. The millennial generation has been focused on body inclusivity and sustainability. Jeans that accentuate our butts rather than flatten them is innovative. Oh, and make sure you upcycle your denim and use ethical labor. We’re not rocking the boat with new designs - no design is ever new. Our gift to the fashion world is offering plus-sized and curvy collections as a standard. Yes, future generations will thank us for fixing the problem with limited bra sizing. The latter end of this decade will be forever known as the era of “Clothes That Actually Fit.” While we’ve achieved a lot of good, some subtle fashion shenanigans have gone under the radar. We’re currently in a pants phase that I like to call “ankles be damned, and it needs to be addressed. Every single pair of pants on the market is cropped, and with little protection for our ankles, I don’t know how they’ve survived the last three seasons. My ankles have tan lines that look like the opposite of house arrest. In fact, these tan lines speak to house freedom and the mosquito bites on my ankles prove I’m just a buffet in Mother Nature’s ecosystem. This experience causes me to mentally escape to a time when jeans may have been pin-rolled, but ankles were protected by several inches of thick white socks. I escape to the 80s when fashion-especially denim- was inconvenient. This was a time when Cher and Diana Ross danced all night in jeans that weighed as much as them. Still, I have to believe that if they knew then what we know now they’d opt for the more ethical pair and they’d support brands that made trendy jeans available to everyone. These are the 80s jeans your favorite 80s style icons would’ve totally worn.   CHER, STUDIO 54 1977 - GETTY IMAGES     Grey Mom Fit Jeans $60 at time of publication Buy At Shop.Mango.Com This photo of Cher vibing at Studio 54 illustrates how I want to feel every day. If I could ask “studio 54 Cher” what her recipe was for looking so overtaken with joy, I’m sure she’d say it was 100% the denim and nothing else. Well, maybe the suspenders as well. I, too, lose it over a well-styled suspenders. To copy this look you’ll for sure need these Grey Mom Fit Jeans and make sure you don’t forget the suspenders . These 80s jeans are available at shop.mango.com .   MADONNA, 1988 - GETTY IMAGES    PHOTO: COURTESY AMERICAN EAGLE  Ripped X-Long Mom Jean $50 at the time of publication Buy At AE.com This photo convinces me that Madonna invented airport style. Airport style is a skill. Not everyone has the forethought to put together a high-key trendy outfit that’s low-key comfortable. A loose fit basic tee, leather biker jacket and thick white socks ( because planes are cold) and trendy jeans are the go-to airport ensemble. Still, I think given the option I think Madonna would opt for a ripped Mom Jean for even greater lightweight comfort. Oh, and the x-long style is a must for a commanding cuff. These 80s jeans are available at ae.com .   LISA BONET    PHOTO: COURTESY EVERLANE  Women’s 90s Cheeky Straight Jean $78 at time of publication Buy At Everlane.com Lisa Bonet (Lilakoi Moon) might very well be Mother Nature in the flesh. And, last time I checked, the enchantress still looks exactly. like. this. For Bonet, a good pair of jeans needs no embellishment beyond the natural curve of a woman’s body. Everlane’s new cheeky jean accomplishes just that with their tapered waist design and butt-lifting pockets. Add to them Everlane’s sustainability practices and you have the perfect jean for Bonet. These 80s jeans are available at everlane.com .   TINA TURNER    PHOTO: COURTESY RIVER ISLAND  Mid Blue Straight Ripped Jeans $90 at the time of publication Buy At US.RiverIsland.com Tina Turner is one of the greatest Rock & Roll performers of all time and she definitively has the best legs of all time. So, when she trades in her signature mini-dress for ripped jeans, a basic white tee, black booties, and stringed pearls - for a touch of class - it’s a statement. This look is pure rock and roll and River Island’s straight ripped jeans make the perfect statement jean. These 80s jeans are available at us.riverisland.com .   DEBBIE HARRY, 1978    PHOTO: COURTESY LEVI’S  Levi’s Medium Wash Wedgie Fit Jeans $98 at the time of publication Buy At Levi.com In one of many captivating Debbie Harry performances, she sported Levi’s classic yet lesser-known 505 style. In a Telegraph interview , Levi’s historian, Tracey Panek said the 505 was dubbed the “coming of age jean.” “ The sea of denim we see in archive pictures of Woodstock festival are there because young people were so enamoured with denim as democratic, affordable clothing that everyone could share.” — Tracey Panek The design of Levi’s 505 was largely a convenience play. The straight-leg silhouette was the same as Levi’s Original 501 but rather than a button fly the 505 used a zip fly which was more flattering and convenient. Debbie Harry adored the 505 and wore them repeatedly during performances. But, if Debbie Harry had to do it all over again we’re certain she’d wear Levi’s Wedgie Fit Jeans. They’re lighter weight, would flatter Harry’s waist and butt and come in a variety of sizes. These 80s jeans are available at levi.com .   DIANA ROSS, STUDIO 54 1979 - GETTY IMAGES PHOTO: COURTESY REFORMATION  Willow Jean $128 at time of publication Buy At TheReformation.com Oh to be a fly on the wall at Studio 54 while Diana Ross danced all night long in her sandal sling-backs, ripped tank, and perfectly tailored jeans. Reformation’s brand is built on effortless femininity and celebration of the female form. Divinely feminine describes Ross and her legacy perfectly. Well, that and a relentless proclivity to boogie. Reformation’s Willow Jean has an inseam high enough and a waist tapered enough to facilitate Diana Ross’s best dance moves until the sun comes up. These 80s jeans are available at thereformation.com .   PAMELA ANDERSON    PHOTO: COURTESY SHOPBOP  Unif Twerk Jeans $120 at the time of publication Buy At Shopbop.com Of course Pam Anderson made boyfriend wear sexy in the 80s. Those jeans were not just distressed, they were in a full-blown panic state and so was every teenage boy, and girl. Not just any pair of jeans would’ve worked for her. No, they needed to be comfortable, they needed to be cheeky. They needed to look like she rolled out of bed impossibly stunning and threw on a pair of her flavor-of-the-month’s jeans. They needed to look like Unif’s Twerk Jeans. These 80s jeans are available at shopbop.com .   CHER “I’d RATHER BELIEVE IN YOU” PHOTOSHOOT    PHOTO: COURTESY ToPSHOP  Washed Black Raw Hem Straight Leg Jeans $30 at the time of publication Buy At Topshop.com Could Cher have known how much of a statement her “I’d Rather Believe in You” photoshoot would make? Each camera flash bore a new subtle movement. Still, the shoot was so iconic that even Kim Kardashian felt compelled to recreate it . That image is a reminder that merely existing is beautiful, especially when you’re Cher. The Washed Black Raw Hem Straight Leg Jeans from Topshop are the perfect affordable jeans to recreate the look. If these jeans were available then, Cher would totally go for them. These 80s jeans are available at topshop.com .   SARAH JESSICA PARKER   High Rise Rolled Hem Mom Jeans $60 at the time of publication Buy At UrbanOutfitters.Com Sarah Jessica Parker came out of the womb a fashion icon. No matter the decade, no matter the trend, she’s never missed a beat. The woman can’t get it wrong. When you find a throwback photo of SJP leaning against a red vintage drop-top in a tuxedo jacket, pill rolled jeans, white sneakers, and thick, socks you just nod and take it in. These 80s jeans are available at urbanoutfitters.com .   BROOKE SHIELDS    PHOTO: COURTESY LEVI’S  Levi’s 501 Original Dark Wash Buy At Levi.com No list of 80s jeans could be considered authentic without Levi’s 501 jeans. The 501 jean is as much of an 80s fashion icon as Brooke Shields is. And Brooke is no stranger to the power of a good pair of jeans. You may have seen her throwback Calvin Klein jeans campaign.   PHOTO: COURTESY RICHARD AVEDON  Well, it caused quite the uproar in the 80s. A then 15-year-old model, Brook Shields, appeared in Calvin Klein ads in a revealing button-down shirt and their straight leg skinny jeans. Some Americans were none too pleased. The commercial was pulled from airing in CBS’s and ABC’s New York market. If Brooke had to do it all over again, I’m hoping she would but in Levi’s 501s since the Original Calvin Klein jeans are no longer available. These 80s jeans are available at levi.com .   JANET JACKSON - PHOTo: COURTESY GETTY IMAGES    PHOTO: COURTESY TOPSHOP  Grey Pleat Mom Jeans $80 at the time of publication Buy At Topshop.com Before Janet invited nasty folks to call her “Miss Jackson,” she sang a song called “Young Love.” The chorus went like this: “Young love Ring around the roses Young love Searching for a heart so true Young love A pocket full of posies Young love All adds up to me and you” Who needs love? Am I right? Nobody can hug you tighter than a pair of good jeans. I like to imagine that rather than young Janet searching for love, she searched for these Grey Pleat Mom Jeans to complete her look. These 80s jeans area available at topshop.com .