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tomeandflickcorner · 6 years

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Bonus- Star Wars Re-Watch notes

As a follow-up to the Star Wars reviews I’ve been posting for the past few weeks, I decided to post the notes I made during my re-watches for the movies. The only movie that isn’t included among these notes will be the ones for Solo. That’s because I wasn’t able to take notes in the thearte.

Hope you enjoy

Phantom Menace notes-

• I wonder if they’ll ever change the logo to 21st Century Fox. • So this all started with the debate on taxation for intergalactic trades? Why does this remind me of how the revolutionary war started? • Hah. Female C3PO. • Why is that catchphrase mostly associated with Han when everybody has had a chance saying it? • If they didn’t want them to be recognized as Jedi, why wouldn’t they go in disguise? • RIP, random unnamed people. • Force Power = Holding your breath for an extended period of time? • Hate to break it to you, Amadala, but I don’t think they’re interested in a peaceful negotiations. • Hi, Jar Jar! • Love that line, Qui Gon. • So, they just happen to be carrying underwater breathing apparatuses? • If it’s that easy to enter the bubble houses, do many fishes accidently end up in there? • Oh, I love the elaborate fauna that exists in this world! • Did he just knock Jar Jar out with the Force? • How did the Queen manage to change clothes so quickly with the invasion going on? • I’m no expert, but I don’t think a contract is legal if it’s signed under duress. • Haha. I gotta admit, I love that droid’s sass. • Surprised no one got grazed with all the gunfire. • Hi, R2! • That was a lucky shot. • R2 was catty even back then. • Of course everyone was blown up except for R2. • Lesser of two evils, I guess. Reminds me of that scene from Avatar: The Last Airbender. When Zuko and Iroh were trying to decide if they should risk getting caught by Azula or venture into the Earth Kindgom where they were considered enemies. • What’s Darth Maul’s story? • So, what’s the relationship between Naboo people and the Gungans? Do they normally remain segregated? • Why would R2 be going with them? • Has Anakin never seen a young girl before? • So Watto’s species is naturally smarter than Gungans? • Why would Jar Jar think that a good idea? Do they not have merchants in Gungan City? • Wait. So….they can’t send transmissions, but they can receive them without an issue? • How can a protocol droid help his mom? Especially since she’s a slave? • Also, how would Anakin have the time and resources to build one? • Revenge for what? • So you’re saying only Force-sensitive people can participate in Pod Races? Or are humans usually less agile than other species? • Hang on. So Watto enters this kid into the Pod Races, but he won’t let him build his own racer? • Great, a Jesus kid. • So, only Padmé cares enough to help free him from the jet engine thing? • How’d he get cut again? • Ah, the Midichlorian thing. • So, has Darth Maul been visiting every planet systematically? • So, who’s Ani’s friend? Why would he have come to the race when the other kids didn’t? • So. I’m guessing the main languages of Tattoine are Huttanese and Basic? • Hmm. Are those flags representing the racers’ native planets? • What a dirty cheater! He’s that threatened by this one kid, or is doing that to all the other racers? • Who’s the other Hutt with Jabba? • And now we commence with the boredom. • Wait, was that Willow? • The Tuskin Raiders must be pretty bored to be waiting around to shoot at the racers. • What exactly is the route for this race? • Did he just Force Command that loose bit of pipe? • Well, that backfired on Sebulba. • JAWAS! • The Hutts must be pretty scary, if the threat of going to them is enough to get Watto to relent. • What kind of undershirt is that, anyway? It looks like it’s made of sticks • Why were they running? Did they know they were being chased? • Another small hint of who Padmé really is. • Why would she need to remember him? Was it specifically stated they’d be parting ways? • You’ve known each other for three days. Why would they care for each other already? • Did Jar Jar just comment on the Queen’s attractiveness? • Another costume change? • I like Mace Windu. There’s just something about him that puts you at ease. • He’s not as awesome as Yoda, though. • Is that Padmé or the decoy? • How old do you have to be to become a Jedi? Do you have to be a toddler? • Never understood how fear could lead to anger. Like, what if you’re afraid of leeches? Or Vermicious Knids? How would that fear lead to anger? • Awww. They should have gone with Bali of Alderaan. He’s a cool guy! • So, is Palpatine a native of Naboo? • Oh, is this where Obi Wan got the whole Point of View thing from? • How many times does this Queen change outfits? • What a twist! • So, the Gungans are basically canon fodder? • Is that the same technology they used to make the bubble city? What exactly keeps the blaster fire out but lets actual people in? • Is that really the best hiding place Anakin could find? • Yeah, ‘I’ll try to override it,’ he says. While reaching for the helmet. He’s totally doing this on purpose. • Who keeps designing these places with walkways over gaping pits? And not including railings? Seems like a pretty stupid architectural flaw. • Yeah, but you can still go back to the planet while staying in the cockpit. Just saying • What’s the purpose of these timed forcefields in this room? Why were they installed in the first place? • What’s that supposed to do, dude? • Yeah, that’s a death. • Why do we never see blood in these movies? • And of course the camera focuses on him when that question is asked. • What exactly is that static light ball?

Attack of the Clones Notes-

• So, basically, a bunch of planets are declaring themselves independent from the Republic? Why does this sound like how America declared independence from Britain? • Hi, R2! • Wow! Spoke too soon, dude! • Ah, so Padmé is still using decoys. RIP, Decoy Lady. • Hmm. Is Yoda suspicious of him? That look he gave Palpatine just now… • So it’s been ten years since Phantom Menace? • Oh, Anakin. Stop flirting with her. • Um…it might not be a smart idea to have this argument in front of them? Just a suggestion. • Anakin’s attraction to Padmé seems very creepy to me. He met her when he was nine. And they haven’t spoken since then. That’s not love, that’s obsession. • How’s that for a wake-up call? • Haha. ‘You’ll be the death of me.’ Nice foreshadowing, movie. • The Death Sticks scene. Classic. • Yeah, Jedi Masters. I respect you and all. But it’s probably a bad idea to send the hormonal 19 year old to act as bodyguard to his crush. • Shut up, Anakin. You could use a healthy dose of humility. • You’re not grown up! You’re 19 years old! Talk to me in 10 more years. • So, what’s the story behind Obi-Wan’s friendship with this Dax character? • Wait. If Droids could think? Is Obi-Wan racist against Droids? • Was that a sex joke? • Well, aren’t we overly confident, Librarian Lady? • Wow. Seems like everyone is racist against Droids. • Yoda, I love you. • So they really needed a kid to point out that the information about this planet was erased from the archives? That doesn’t say much for the adults in the Jedi order. • So on Naboo, the Queen is more of a president? Serving a few terms and then stepping down to allow a new ruler step in? • Is this the new Queen of Naboo? • Oh, Anakin. Shut up. You’re kinda unlikable. • That’s right, Obi-Wan. Play along. Don’t let them know you’re completely in the dark. • Padmé, how can you be seriously charmed by him? He’s being really creepy. • Ah. A bounty hunter is here. And you’re looking for a bounty hunter. Coincidence? • Suppose it shouldn’t be surprising that these clones look like Stormtroopers? • Are they really swapping first kiss stories? • You’re talking about a dictatorship. • And Padmé is on the same page as me. • PADMÉ! THE WARNING BELLS AREN’T GOING OFF IN YOUR HEAD AFTER THAT REMARK?! HOW TIGHT IS THAT BRAID OF YOURS? I THINK IT’S CUTTING OFF THE BLOODFLOW TO YOUR BRAIN! • Yep. There’s the bounty hunter’s armor. • Am I supposed to ship these two? Cause I really don’t. • So. This order was made ten years ago. Right after the end of the last movie, perhaps? • You’re telling me that Anakin never was allowed to visit his mother at all in the past 10 years? I know Jedi mandate means you have to let go of your past, but come on. • Hello again, Watto. • Saturn Planet! Saturn is my favorite planet. • Baby Boba Fett is a very violent child. Laughing when he thinks his father just killed a Jedi. • Who finished building C3-PO? • Ah. Young Owen and Beru. • Why exactly would Tuskin Raiders abduct a woman? For what purpose? • Padmé is still changing her wardrobe in every single scene. Where does she get all her clothes? Does she have a team of seamstresses following her everywhere and making these things for her? • Cameo of the Jawas. • So these are the Separatists. • Oh, of course she doesn’t die until right after Anakin gets there. • Ooooh. Darth Vader theme. • Anakin, everything must die someday. It’s the natural order of things. • Sooo…..no concern over how he just confessed to committing genocide, Padmé? • Who do the other two graves belong to? • So it’s Padmé’s fault Anakin is defying the Jedi Council. • So Count Duku was the Jedi who taught Qui-Gon? • Well, the Jedi didn’t sense Darth Maul before he appeared before them. So it’s not that impossible that Darth Sidious eluded detection, too. Just saying. • So, what does Yoda think about Palpatine getting these supreme powers? • At least the décor for this epic battle scene makes sense. They’re in a robot manufacturing factory. • R2 can fly now? When did that become a thing? • How do you know R2 is always getting into trouble, 3PO? You’ve spent next to no amount of time with him outside of Tatooine. • You cut that a little close, R2. • Gotta admit. First time I saw this movie, I thought this was going to be how Anakin lost his hand. • Wow. So, we’re about to die. Now will be the perfect time to admit I’ve been falling in love with your creepy, obsessive personality. • Obi-Wan’s sass is delightful. • Oh, I LOVE the creatures in this world! And I really want a pet Nexu. • Smart move, Padmé. • Another Force Power- the ability to tame animals. Awesome. • Mace Windu is awesome. • Ouch! Yeah, that’ll leave a mark! • 3PO really is pointless. • Perfect timing, Yoda. You’re the best. • Um… Is Daddy Bounty Hunter’s head still inside his helmet? Baby Boba Fett is going to have quite the job scrubbing the blood off the interior • Death Star blueprints! • Does Yoda sense something? • You kinda asked for that, Anakin. Only fools rush in. • Why do they never bleed when they lose a limb? • YEAH! GO YODA! • So Yoda taught Dooku, who taught Qui-Gon, who taught Obi-Wan. • And Dooku escapes, despite everyone’s best efforts. • Imperial March theme! • Still don’t get why Padme fell for this creep.

Clone Wars notes-

• Ha! Text crawl! • Oh, no text crawl • What is this? A documentary announcer? • Jabba the Hutt has a son? • Why is it always Obi-Wan and Anakin? Oh, right- they’re the main characters. • What was it Mace Windu said about Jedi? That they were keepers of the peace and not soldiers? That’s sure changed. Obi-Wan is a general now. • Wait. Did Obi-Wan say he got a new Padawan? I thought you could only have one Padawan at a time. That’s what they said in Phantom Menace. Isn’t Anakin still Obi-Wan’s Padawan? • Wait, she’s Anakin’s Padawan? How? I thought only Jedi Masters could train Padawans. Since when is Anakin a Jedi Master? • How old is Ahsoka Tano supposed to be? Anakin is saying she’s too young to be a Padawan. But he was nine when he started training under Obi-Wan. • Jedi don’t run? That seems like a dumb rule? • Oh, Obi-Wan. You’re kinda extra, aren’t you? • How does it feel to deal with such an impulsive, headstrong Padawan, Anakin? Now you know how Obi-Wan felt. • I just noticed. Since when does Anakin have a purple lightsaber? Yeah, his lightsaber broke in Attack of the Clones, but….didn’t he have a blue one in Revenge of the Sith? • And Anakin is still a jerk. • Does Anakin have a grudge against the Hutts? Considering he lived on Tatooine…. • Wow. That’s brutal! • Hmm... I kinda like this background music. • Aw, a Pink Astromech droid with R2? I ship it! • Too bad you never learned the lesson about humility, Anakin. • Is the protocol Droid Jabba’s utilizing the one we saw being ripped apart in Return of the Jedi? • So who’s this lady? • We still have an hour left? What more is there to say? They found the Baby Hutt. • Oh, that’s a diabolical move, Dooku. Framing the Jedi for the son’s kidnapping. • Does Baby Hutt speak yet? If so, he’d be able to set the record straight to his father. • Wilhelm Scream! • Why does he call her Snips? I think I missed the reasoning for that nickname. • Props to this guy. That was a brave move. • Do they know Mystery Lady? • Captain Rex is pretty cool. • I guess Baby Hutt physiological system isn’t compatible to this planet. Is that why he’s sick? • Seriously, who is this Vestris person? • Okay, I know the Soldier Droids are the bad guys, but they’re hilarious. • RIP to those guys. • Well, that some getaway. • Wow, she’d make a good babysitter. • Ohhhh. He was remembering how the Tuskin Raiders killed Shmi, wasn’t he? • Wow. So you’re claiming that Baby Hutt is dead now? You’re gonna look mighty silly when he shows up alive and well. • Oh, hi, Padmé. I didn’t think you’d appear in this movie. • Did R2 complain like that the first time he went to Tatooine? Just saying, he’s been there twice before. By now, you’d think he’d be used to it. • Wow! They’re playing a different song? • Hey, who’s this voice actor? He sounds familiar. • Well, that didn’t accomplish anything. • Oh, don’t get Anakin started on sand, Ahsoka. • Ah, maybe that scene wasn’t so pointless. • Oh. Uncle Hutt is helping Dooku. Now it makes sense. • How are you going to get out of this one, Padmé? • Hehe. I like Baby Hutt. • Ah. So 3PO now hangs around with Padmé the way R2 hangs around with Anakin. I find that interesting since 3PO later sticks with their daughter and R2 is closest to the son. • I knew it! He sent Ahsoka ahead with Baby Hutt. • R2, I think Ahsoka could use a little bit of help. • Oh, I was gonna say. I didn’t think 3PO would have come here on his own. • Doesn’t Anakin speak Huttnese? Why didn’t he react until after the translation? • Kinda ironic. Anakin helps save Jabba’s son, and Anakin’s daughter will eventually kill Jabba.

Revenge of the Sith notes-

• Huh. Another kidnapping plot • Kinda like how Obi-Wan has kept R4 as his signature Droid. • Um… you might want to keep it down, Obi-Wan. R2 is still in enemy territory. • Why is Anakin listening to him? The fact that he’s ordering the death of someone without a trial isn’t very befitting of someone who claims to be a fan of democracy • Again with the Tusken Raider sounds. • Why isn’t Palpatine’s attitude making Anakin suspicious? • Wilhelm Scream! • Well, that was a conveniently placed open door in the elevator shaft. • Where did this Grievous guy come from, anyway? They pretty much introduce him out of nowhere. • I just thought. Where did R4 go? Did I miss that? • Oh, I guess she was destroyed during that gunfight. Shame. • Didn’t Obi-Wan try to discourage Anakin from getting too chummy with the politicians? What changed his mind? • Okay, I don’t ship these two, but I admit. I can appreciate the situation they’ve found themselves in with this pregnancy • Ugh. This sappy dialogue. Gag. • So Padmé is planning to go in ‘vacation’ for a few months? • Wise words from Yoda. Shame he wasn’t there after Shmi died. • Again, why isn’t Anakin’s attitude about less democracy causing more concern? • Since when does Palpatine need to be represented on the Jedi Council? • Yeah, Anakin isn’t a Jedi Master. So why was he given a Padawan in the Clone Wars series? • Can we get that story? The one that shows how Yoda is on good relations with the Wookiees? • It’s treason to spy on the Chancellor? Well, wasn’t he basically asking you to spy on the Jedi Council? • Oh, he’s a good man, is he? Yeah, he only told you to kill Count Dooku in cold blood and then expected you to leave Obi-Wan to die. Yeah, he sounds LOVELY. • Oh, NOW you’ve considered the possibility that you misinterpreted the prophecy? • I like how Padmé is also having her doubts. Because the Republic has become more of a dictatorship than a democracy. • And no one is going to point out how that statement about being unable to let go of their power might apply to this guy? The one who stayed in office longer than he was supposed to? • That sounds horrible. Preventing people from dying. • Let me guess. You were that apprentice, weren’t you? • Ugh. The Wookiee roars. • Was that a Tarzan yell? • Does Obi-Wan know they’re secretly married? • Dracula alien? • Oh, I want one! I want the bird lizard! • Nice. Four lightsabers. • What was up with the camera zoom into the eyes? Never do that again, movie! • Okay, so Palpatine isn’t even pretending he hasn’t studied the Force anymore. • Oh. That was….a bit anti-climactic. • Okay, Anakin is doing the right thing here, reporting to Mace Windu. • Can they sense each other? Is that’s what they’re trying to convey? • Welp, RIP to those guys. • Aw. I liked Windu. Booo. • Awww. Yoda is sensing this. • Really hope Lizard Birdie survived that fall. He seemed so nice! • Yep. Yoda is really feeling it now! • Sorry, dude. Yoda doesn’t go down that easily. • Oh, hi Bail! Did Padmé send you? • Shame this kid didn’t make it. He had guts, taking them all on at once. • So Chewbacca was around even back then. I wonder what a Wookiee’s lifespan is. • Hey, don’t leave out the fact that the Chancellor is a Sith! • Great line from Padmé. • Yoda’s already checked the security footage, hasn’t he? • I really get the feeling Obi-Wan already knew they married in secret. • Oh, so NOW she’s hearing the things he’s saying. • YEAH! I love Yoda! He’s awesome! • Okay, this scene is pretty heartbreaking, I will admit. • So, how far along is Padmé supposed to be? If Padmé is visibly pregnant, did anyone ever wonder who the father was? • Yeek, Anakin is a stubborn one. Burned alive and he hasn’t died yet? • Hi, Luke and Leia. • Nice POV shot there. • RIP, Padmé. • Oh, NOW you care about Padmé? Didn’t seem that way when you were keeping her in a Force Chokehold • Okay, I get why they want to keep the twins hidden, but…. isn’t that kind of obvious, to send Baby Luke to his father’s stepbrother? Granted they only met once, but…..you’d think that would be an obvious place. • So R2 didn’t get his memory erased. Meaning he remembers ALL of this! • Awesome how they’re playing everyone’s theme songs over this sequence. • And I love this final shot. Great way to end it.

Rouge One notes-

• Planet! • A Saturn-like planet! • I can’t remember. Do they ever explain the significance of that crystal pendant? • Okay, I get that Lyra loves her husband and all, but why would she run out like that? It seemed like they had this whole escape plan worked out. Besides, she had a responsibility to be there for her child. • Well, I guess she figured this bloke would be there to step in, but still! • And now Jyn is in jail. For what, exactly? • Ring of Kafrene. This trading post place is on an asteroid, from the looks of it. How do they maintain a breathable atmosphere? • Kyber Crystals? • Well, that was kinda a jerk move. • This planet is called Jedha? Is the fact that it kinda sounds like Jedi relevant. Based on that fallen statue, was this the site of a sacred Jedi temple? • I wonder what these other guys’ stories are…? • Okay, so they came here specifically to get Jyn? How did they know she was there? • Hi, K2S0! • So this is Yaven 4, right? • Wow, they got a good replacement for Mon Motha. She looks just like the original actress! • Bail Organa! Why did they give you the Luke theme just now? • And was that the other Rebel leader? The one who briefs everyone before the battle of the First Death Star? • Hi, Tarkin. RIP, Peter Cushing. • Ah, so this is the site of an old Jedi temple? • Okay, but what do you plan to do when you find out that he’s not lying, dude? • Hey, those are the guys from Mos Eisley! Are they currently on their way to Tatooine? Considering what happens to this planet in a couple hours…. • So, what’s this guy’s story? I get he was once a guardian of the Jedi Temple, but….was he Force Sensitive but just didn’t have a Jedi to train him? Because I’m guessing he sees through the Force. • Where’d she learn to fight like that? • Nice fake out. • Seriously, you can’t tell me this guy isn’t Force Sensitive! • Really wish we learned out how these two guys met. • Haha! ‘Are you kidding me? I’m blind!’ I love the humor in this movie. • Okay, I get you were trying to keep her safe. But it was a jerk move that you went about it that way. You could have at least been honest about why you were sending her away. • So, according to this movie, the Death Star has a ‘volume’ button of sorts. • I’m guessing these six are the only people who made it out of the area alive? • I wonder. Did Yoda and Obi-Wan sense this event through the Force? • Ah, can’t do it, can you? • Dude! That was uncalled for! He just told you they had nothing to do with it! • How was this guy not initiated into the Jedi order? • This is actually pretty good social commentary on what war does to soldiers, and the dangers of following orders blindly. • Does Vader live on Mustafar now? You’d think he’d prefer to keep off this planet considering he believes this is where Padmé died. • Okay, I’m a bit confused. They want to keep the Death Star a secret. So how was it a good idea to destroy an entire planet roughly a week later? • Well, you’ve done a 180, Jyn. Just a short time ago, you were content to just live with your head in the sand. • Aw, Bail Organa. Wanting to contact Obi Wan again. Shame you had to remain on Alderaan. • Hehe. ‘Are we blind?!’ • Probably a weird thing to comment on, but why do only the Imperials have Mouse Droids? Why doesn’t the Rebellion have any? • Maybe because you’re a blabbermouth, 3PO? • Nice that their arc has been completed; her giving him the blaster. • Gotta say, Cassian. That was pretty stupid, calling him on the comlink at that precise moment. If he closed the door, don’t you think there might have been a good reason? • Hyperspace Tracking? Really? If they had eliminated that file when they did…. • Then again, there’s probably a copy on another planet. Considering this base will be destroyed in a few minutes….. • RIP, K2-SO. You were the best. • Same to you, Chirrut. • That thing was straight out of a video game! • Wow, that IS a cool move! • That’s one chilling image. • Kinda satisfying that this punk can see his death coming. • So, I’m a bit confused. Was Leia among the ships converging around Scarif? I thought she was supposed to go fetch Obi-Wan. Did she just decide to take a detour first?

A New Hope notes-

• This text crawl is even cooler now that we know the details of Rouge One. • Wait, this text says Leia is heading home. But wasn’t she going to Tatooine to fetch Obi-Wan? Though I realize George Lucas hadn’t ironed out the details yet. • Always wondered what the story was with that other Protocol Droid. The White 3PO. • How were they not hit while crossing the hallway? • Wasn’t R2 just with 3PO? How’d he manage to distance himself long enough to meet up with Leia? • Hey, they mentioned the mines on Kessel! • What kind of insult was that? What part of his statement warranted calling him a philosopher? • Pretty ballsy of Leia there, considering her ship just left Scarif. • Oh, shut up, 3PO. You haven’t even traveled that far. • Eh, forget about him, R2. You don’t need that whiny prissy pants. He’s useless. • Jawas! You know, I kinda wonder what they look like without those cloaks. • Well, that’s a convenient coincidence that they were both picked up by the same Jawas, despite going in different directions. • How does 3PO not know Leia? Is the restraining bolt altering his memory? • And how would you know that, Beru? Didn’t you only meet Anakin once in your life? • I never noticed how odd these scene transitions were. • What kind of a noise was that? • What? Since when did Anakin make any mention about wanting his son to have his old lightsaber? • So Palpatine has eliminated the Senate altogether? • Wait, he constructed it? I thought the credit to that went to Galen and Krennic? Who’s this clown? • Isn’t the Death Star already operational? • Yeah, so dangerous I won’t even bother going with you to assist you with my considerable powers. • Never quite understood what that orb thing was supposed to do. • I just thought. Why did Luke not know about the Force until Obi-Wan told him when practically everyone else had a conscious knowledge of it? Did his uncle purposely keep him in the dark? • So, what was this guy’s problem? And how did they get off Jedha before it went boom? • Corillia mention. Kinda cool how that ended up being Han’s home planet. • So the orb was a mind probe? • This scene seems pointless. Didn’t the Greedo scene cover all of this? Not to mention how Jabba is too small in comparison to how he looked in Return of the Jedi. • And it’s way too soon for Boba Fett to appear. • Didn’t they already buckle themselves in? Kinda silly that they unbuckled again to visit the cockpit. • Yeah…. Weren’t they supposed to keep the Death Star from being noticed? • I wonder if Obi-Wan sensed the destruction on Jedha and Scariff, too. • Isn’t the exact same way Chewbacca lost against Tobias? • Luke, you didn’t even hear about the Force until a few hours ago. • What was with that smile, Obi-Wan? Do you know something? • Heh. Vader starts gesturing AFTER he’s done talking. Bad dubbing work? • Interesting how everyone associated that statement with Han when everyone has said it. • Does Chewbacca know Obi-Wan was allies with Yoda? We did see him and Yoda were pals during the Clone Wars. • I want a mouse droid. • And Vader senses Obi-Wan’s presence. • How does Leia know Obi-Wan goes by Ben now? • Well, him and the Emperor….. Tarkin knows Palpatine can use the Force, too, right? • And Han just had to through in a loud yell as he jumped, didn’t he? • It’s just his imagination? Then what made that sound, genius? • I can’t believe that worked! Maybe it’s because of the whole Droid discrimination? • Huh. So those guys walking past in the background obviously have no peripheral vision. • Yeesh, Leia. Weren’t you on the Senate? I hope you didn’t insult all other non-humanoid species like that. • Wilhelm Scream! • So Luke just happens to have a tether cord on his belt? • Hey, who’s that other Astromech Droid? • This lightsaber battle is kinda boring when you remember their last battle had them surfing down a river of lava. • Does anyone else find it strange how Luke didn’t seem shocked by hearing Obi-Wan’s disembodied voice? • Heh. Gotta admire Leia’s decorum. She could have easily been all ‘oh, boo hoo, the guy you met yesterday died. It’s not as if your entire planet got blown up.’ • Big explosion for a one-man ship. • How on the world did you get all tangled up like that, 3PO? • Hey, don’t act like the Millennium Falcon can’t be tracked, Han. Enfrys Nest was able to track it, remember? • Didn’t you already know about the weak spot, Leia? Or are you still having doubts about Galen’s trustworthiness? • That was a pointless atmosphere shot. • Zebra Astromech Droid! • Kinda low-key disappointed we didn’t get a better idea of the friendship between Luke and this Biggs person. • Oh. Calling the fat guy Porkins. That was in poor taste. • Should have stayed on target. • Pride comes before a fall, Tarkin. • RIP, Biggs. We hadly knew thee. • I wonder when Vader starts to suspect that this might be his son….. • I wonder what made Han change his mind. Did he just decide he couldn’t ignore his conscience? • Did he just call her Carrie? • I wonder who loaned Luke that outfit, considering he only came here with the clothes on his back. • So why doesn’t Chewbacca get a metal, too? • And the movie tries to create tension by not revealing R2 is okay right away…..

Holiday Special notes-

• Pretty sure this opening text crawl was added in by Star Wars fans and wasn’t part of the original broadcast. • Jumping right into the action with Han and Chewbacca evading Star Destroyers. • This introduction segment makes it look like this is going to be a Star Wars-themed variety show. Well, if the shoe fits…. • I don’t remember most of these celebrities. • I want to know who decided against including subtitles in the scenes focusing on Chewbacca’s family. • Gotta say, it’s kinda hilarious. This is supposed to be a holiday. And they’re not letting the kid enjoy himself. • Wait. Do the Wookiees have garbage men on their planet? • Since when do they have cameras in the Star Wars universe that could enable them to have framed photographs? • Hey, the holographic chess board! • And the first pointless segment- Holographic acrobat parade. • And they’re giving the kid more chores. I thought it was a holiday on the Wookiee planet. Let the kid enjoy himself! • And Luke makes his cameo. • When did Luke meet these guys, anyway? And why does he have to do maintenance on his own ship? Doesn’t the Rebel Alliance have people for that? • Hey, if you’re not going to pay attention to R2’s warnings, you shouldn’t have asked him to keep an eye on the ship. • Well, that’s what you get for not listening to your Droid! • So….off-duty Imperials continue to wear their Imperial attire when they’re off the clock? • The Imperial guy couldn’t see right through that obviously coded message? • And they’re just recycling footage that never made it into the movie. • Okay, so are you going to stop forcing the kid to do chores? • Oh, no. We’re getting a cooking show now. • I wonder what the rates are for shipping Bantha meat to other planets. • Stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, whip, stir. WAAAAH! • How many arms does this cooking transgender lady have? • And back to Han and Chewbacca. • Now back to the Wookiees. • Why are you pronouncing Kashyyyk that way, guy? • Oh, it’s that merchant bloke. • Well, maybe they let you through because your ship wasn’t seen joining the attack against the Death Star. • Oh, goody! He got me something electrical that I have to put together myself! Exactly what every kid wants! • Oh, dear. This segment. • They were aware that kids would be watching this, right? I wonder how many parents went nuts and quickly changed the channel upon hearing what this woman was saying. • Is Grandpa Wookiee doing what I think he’s doing? • And she just starts singing. Well, I guess it’s better than the….alternative. They had to keep this Rated G, after all. • Oh, and we got Leia and 3PO. • How does everyone know Chewbacca’s family? • You can understand Chewbacca but not Mala? • Finally, 3PO is being useful! Too bad he couldn’t act as translator through the rest of the special • Even though I’ve just met you, old man, I trust you! • I notice they never really explain what Life Day is. • FAKE OUT! • Oh. The Nazi undertones are just seeping through the screen at this point. • And a Jefferson Starship music video. • And this is actually keeping the Imperials’ attention. • Well, then you’re a lousy general, guy. If you can’t always control your men…. • Wait. So you’re telling me someone makes animated cartoons about the members of the Rebel Alliance in this world? • Ah, a new planet. Pannah. • Is that the Purplesaurus Rex? • And Boba Fett • Who puts a sleeping virus on an amulet? And why were they after the amulet in the first place? • What, he can’t even watch his cartoons? • Well, this is convenient, that the Droids can intercept a transmission that’s being made miles away. • No, he’s not Vader’s right-hand man. He’s a bounty hunter. So Vader just hired him. • They have stuffed animals of Banthas in this universe? Wow. • Really? We get an instruction video now? • So this world has Droids and Androids? How come this is the only time we see an Android? • Maybe this is why. Androids keep malfunctioning and breaking down. • Ah, more recycled footage. • Is this really required viewing for all Imperials? • Hi, Bea Arthur. • Does this guy have a volcano in his head? • And he has six fingers. • Oh, this guy. Under normal circumstances, he’d be a bit of a jerk. He’s the guy who thinks the waitress/cashier/etc. is flirting with him by simply being friendly, as per her job’s requirements. • Is there really that much Rebel activity on Tatooine for them to impose a curfew on the whole planet? • Bea Arthur sings! • Oh. Volcano Head stayed! • Dang it, Kid! You can turn that thing off now! • Too late. • And he doesn’t immediately shoot the kid? • Ah, now Chewbacca and Han show up. • Wow, were Mama and Grandpa just standing around when Lumpy was being chased by the Stormtrooer? • Oh, this guy again. • What do you plan to do when they find the body? • What are they doing? • Now they’re in Snuggies? • Where are they? • Oh, no. It’s an entire Wookiee choir! • Wait, where did all of you guys come from!? • Han, didn’t you just go back to the Falcon? • Do the other Wookiees even know who these guys are? • Tree of Life? What are you….? • Oh. Carrie Fisher is singing. • Chewbacca looks dead! • And random footage from A New Hope, reminding us we could have been watching a better movie. • It’s still going? • Okay, Chewbaca. You and your family enjoy your invisible holiday dinner. • Finally! The end credits!

Empire Strikes Back notes-

• Yeah, the Yaven 4 base was probably compromised anyway, since Vader survived the battle. • Wait, why is Luke leading them now? Shouldn’t that be Leia’s job? • Ah, so Vader has figured out who Luke is, then? Wonder what tipped him off? Shame we couldn’t see his reaction to that. • Hmm. I wonder how Luke adjusted to being on this ice planet, considering he spent his entire life on a desert world. • Wow, Tauntan Creature. You couldn’t have warned him sooner? • I see you, movie, with you keep cutting to Leia so we can see her reaction to Han telling that other guy that he’s leaving. • Hehe. I wonder what all those other random people were thinking as they passed by. ‘Oh, boy, are those two at it again?’ • And when it comes to loyalty, Han gets top marks. • Well, that was convenient, that his lightsaber didn’t fall off before they reached the cave. • Didn’t Qui-Gon instruct you? Well, I guess Yoda technically instructed you, too, as he taught you about Force Ghosts. • Aw, it’s Rouge Two. *sniff* • So what earned this guy the prestige of being Rouge Two? • Ewwww. George Lucas did know about the twist involving these two by this point, didn’t he? If so, double ewwww. • Dang it, Chewbacca! Why’d you have to alert the Probe Droid to your presence? • What were you going to say, Luke? It looked like you were getting ready to say something. • So he can Force Choke Hold someone through a transmission. Wow, that’s actually impressive. • So it’s official now. R2 predominantly stays with Luke while 3PO is virtually claimed by Leia. Interesting how the twins claim the droid the parent of the same gender had. • How did the Falcon get this damaged in the first place? • Would have been nice if they were able to tell us what R2 was saying. Considering Basic uses a different alphabet. • I really do wonder if Han WAS secretly Force Sensitive . • Ah, our first hint of what Vader looks like without the helmet. • Yeah, you pretty much walked into that one, Leia. • Oh, and Tatooine wasn’t a strange place to find a Jedi Master? • So, obviously, Yoda knows who Luke is. Meaning he’s acting like this to get an idea of his true nature. But what about R2? Wouldn’t he be able to recognize Yoda? • Ah, unplanned L3 reference. • What was with that third hologram that fizzled out? Was the ship he was on that one that got hit? • Oh, was this how he figured it out? • Ah, Luke. You failed Yoda’s first test. • So….that means Mynocks were living in the Space Worm’s stomach? • Why are you taking the weapons? Yoda just told you that they weren’t needed. • So, obviously this was supposed to be symbolic of the fact that Luke could easily end up like Vader, but I wonder if it was also meant as deeper foreshadowing of who Vader really was…. • Hi, Boba Fett. • So, why exactly is Vader so interested in the Millennium Falcon? • Why does the Lightspeed feature still no work? • Dude, it was working!!! Why did you give up? • Seriously, Han is really proving how cleaver he is in this movie! • Ah, Boba Fett anticipated that maneuver. • So, have Han and Lando met since the events of Solo? • Yeah, another. That you didn’t bother to train at all. • I kinda like how we’re slowly but surely seeing Lando’s growing turmoil. A nice lead-up to his final turn to good. • I wonder. Does Vader recognize 3PO? • Hey! Someone actually installed railings! • Ice Cream Machine!!!! • So, was that a garbage chute? • What exactly is Luke hanging from? An anti-gravity device? • Well, he probably didn’t think you were ready to know, Luke. • Wonder how L3 feels about the Falcon being piloted by Lando again.

Return of the Jedi notes-

• The Empire really loves their Death Stars, don’t they? You’d think they would have decided to cut their losses. • Why no subtitles? • They really don’t tell 3PO anything, do they? • Oh, now they give us subtitles! • Wow, that scene was kinda dark. • Ugh, what is this song? What was wrong with the last one? Hasn’t Lucas heard that less is more? • Didn’t they say they were putting a restraining bolt on 3PO? • Hi, Lando! • So, with all the changes they made, they couldn’t make that effect look better? • How long were they waiting behind that curtain? • Yeah, how long has it been since the last movie? Luke’s strength in the Force seems to have gotten stronger. • I wonder. Does Jabba know he’s looking at the son of the Jedi who helped rescue his kidnapped son during the Clone Wars? • I wonder how long Lando was hiding out in this place. How many sacrifices to the Rancor has he seen? • Aw, I feel bad for the Rancor keeper. • Well, that was an unceremonious way for Boba to go out • Aw, I REALLY hope Max Rebo got off before that barge blew up! • How is his training now complete? Was he self-training between movies? • RIP, Yoda. • Oh, now he calls him Obi-Wan? After he repeatedly referred to him as Ben prior to this scene? • So why couldn’t they inform Luke of his sister before? I know they wanted to keep Leia’s identity a secret, but they could have mentioned a sister and introduced other potential candidates. • And Lando is a full-fledged Rebel, now? • Oh, Hi Mon Mothma! Where have you been hiding all this time? We’ve seen you helped found the Rebel Alliance with Bail Organa. So why are we only seeing her now? • So, what was with Han’s feeling? It’s not as if anything happens to the Millennium Falcon during the upcoming battle. • So Luke and Vader can sense each other’s presence, now? • This could be a good ride idea. Endor speeder bike tour! • And enter the Ewoks! • This is even cuter when you realize Wicket is roughly 6-years-old in Ewok years. • Of course you didn’t sense it, Emperor Palpatine. You underestimate the strength of family bonds. • What kind of animal was that? • Okay, I get the Ewoks have never seen a Droid before, but why do they think 3PO is a deity? • Hehe. Luke is so amused by this. • So, they plan on eating the guys, but Leia gets the guest of honor treatment? Odd. • I don’t get it. They think 3PO is a god, but they don’t listen when he tells them to release Luke, Han and Chewbacca? • Is 3PO giving a full recap of the last two movies? • How does Leia remember Padmé at all, considering she died when she and Luke were only a few minutes old? • Oh, you’ve always known, Leia? Then why were you kissing him in the last movie? • Well, would Padmé’s name hold meaning to you? • Bet that Ewok is having the time of his life! • Oh, Lando being clever and figuring it out! • Wow. That’s a lot of Imperials. • Really? They think it takes six troopers to capture one Droid? • And now that 3PO has served his purpose, he’s back to being useless and annoying • Ah, so Wedge is still around? Wonder why he didn’t play a bigger role in the movies other than one of the Rebel Pilots. • You’re telling me none of the retreating Imperials paid any mind to Luke dragging Vader along? • So, who repaired R2? • Ah, the new ending. • Okay, I’m totally okay with showing the other planets. But I do NOT LIKE this new ending music! Give me the Yub Nub song! • And get that Haden Christianson Anakin off my screen! Give me the original Sebastian Shaw Force Ghost!

Ewoks: Caravan of Courage notes-

• Oh, wow. The old logo for Lucasfilm! • And we have a narrator in this movie? • And there’s a troll. • Are those ponies? The Ewoks have Ponies, now? • With the narrator, this seems more like a nature documentary on Ewoks. • So this is Wicket’s family, then. He has a father, mother, two older brothers and a baby sibling. • They have goats, too? • Wait, the little girl is back at the ship? Then why couldn’t the parents find her before? • Haha. The Ewoks really don’t like male humans, do they? • Strange bonding scene between the girl and Wicket. • She just said she didn’t feel so good, Mace. I think it’s obvious she isn’t okay. • Ah, Ewok Slapstick. • Wait, so is this the Tree of Life they mentioned in the Holiday Special? • Mace, probably not a good idea to stick your hand into a strange hole in a tree on an unfamiliar planet. • Yep, that’s what you get! • And now we get a ferret? Why are all these Earth animals on Endor? • And now, Wicket is learning how to speak Basic? • Cindel, I know you’re a kid, but do the Ewoks look as if they have a starcruiser? • What do you mean, they’re just animals, Mace? This is the Star Wars universe. You must have seen other Alien species before. And the Ewoks are clearly sentient. • Was that a werewolf? • Mace, is it really smart to sneak out in the middle of the night? You know nothing about this moon, or what kind of nocturnal wildlife there is. • And now you’re building a fire? Wow, you’re dumb! • Finally! A strange Star Wars creature! Though the effects are laughable, compared to the Rancor. • And now the Ewoks are there? • So Lokrey the Shamin…can use magic? Magic exists in the Star Wars universe? Or is what they’re calling magic actually the Force? Can Ewoks be Force Sensitive? • The Giant Gorax, huh? • And the other Ewoks speak Basic now, too? How did they learn to speak Basic so well? • Okay, that was a nice moment. The Mama Ewok knowing her husband and sons are heading off on a journey they might not return from and reacting to it in an understandable way. • So we got Legendary Ewok Warriors, now? • So Deej and the two older brothers just get winged headdresses? What purpose would those serve? • Why do you think there’re stopping, Mace? They’re picking up their final band member. • Ah, a female Ewok. • So….what was this test supposed to do? The crystal turns into a lizard and then it’s a mouse? What did that mean? • And what’s the deal with this lake? How does it trap people below the surface? A little context would be nice, Narrator? • And we have a legion of Tinkerbells? • HAHA! I like that one Ewok. He just looks around at all the mayhem and decides to just go back to sleep. • So the fairy thing feeds on laughter? Is that what this supposed to convey? • That’s one powerful blaster to obliterate a rock. • Mace doesn’t recognize a spider web? • Okay, you destroyed the web. But how do you plan on getting back? • Did the spider survive the fall, or is this a different one? • So, two Ewoks weigh the same as a human? • Nice fake-out, movie. • Yeah, that’s right. You chopped down the spider web bridge. • So the Tinkerbell thing has a point in the movie. • Well, you got over your sorrow quickly, Mace. • Ah. So you’re all just going to Tarzan swing across the gorge? • Didn’t the rest of the Fairy Family get absorbed into the candle? • Ugh, what a sappy ending line from Mr. Narrator.

Battle for Endor notes-

• And we open on Cindel and Wicket • Hey, the principal from Breakfast Club! • And Wicket speaks fluent Basic now. • They have school in the Star Wars universe? • And we’re jumping right into the action. • She can turn into a crow? • She seems remarkably calm for someone whose mother and brother died. • Kid, your whole family is dead. I think it’s okay if you cry a little. • So the Ewoks are putting all their hope in Wicket and a 6-year-old? (I don’t know how old Wicket is in Ewok years, but I’m guessing he’s still a kid, too.) • And people say the Stormtroopers have horrible aim? • Um…. They’re not the least bit concerned by the pile of loose bones? • So you plan on catching the flying creature on a glider? • And they’re completely unharmed after crashing? At least have Cindel get some scrapes and abrasions. • And what is this guy supposed to be? • Cindel, you’re way too trusting. For all you know, this guy could be in league with the guys who killed your family. • Yes, this is a great idea. Go into someone’s house and immediately start snooping around. • Yeah, I get where this guy is coming from, but he’s not the least bit curious as to why this little kid is all alone? • Dude, they’re the ones who made the muffins! • Heh. He used reverse phycology just now, didn’t he? • Did I miss the part when they introduced that critter as Teek? • Well, we’re finally seeing Cindel experience some psychological scars. • So, I guess these guys don’t get how technology works and think it’s a magical talisman? • You can make a pie out of flowers? • Also, weren’t you going to go looking for where the Ewoks are being held? But instead, you go flower picking? • Noa, aren’t you the least bit concerned as to why they’re out in the woods without their parents? • Heh. Nice callback to the last movie. • And I guess Wicket has completely forgotten all about his family, and how they’re all probably being tortured and killed. • Okay, she can’t sing, but she’s only 6, so it’s okay. • And the Witch Lady found them? • Cindel’s the only one who hears the voice calling her name? • Oh. I hope that wasn’t a chamber pot. • Oh, now they hear the voice! • Again, Cindel is far too trusting. I know she’s a kid, but still. • Yeah, how do you explain technology to people who only know about magic? • What exactly was in that water? Alien Piranha? • Are they playing Sabbec? • Cindel! Don’t you know when to be quiet!? • Well, that was a clever stunt. • Heh. I see what you did there, movie. Nice continuity in hearing the guards crying out when he cut the rope. • Noa, I don’t think it’s your place to put Wicket in charge of the Ewoks. After all, his parents and brothers are probably there. • And the Ewoks now know how to use space cruiser guns? • Though I do like how the design of the gunner seats are similar to that of the Millennium Falcon. It finally feels like a Star Wars movie. • Ah. I guess that one is Deej. • Wow. Sword vs staff. • Though what is that head carving on Noa’s staff supposed to be? • Welp, that’s the end of that. • Oh, now Cindel is crying. She didn’t cry when her family were murdered, but she cries when she’s saying goodbye to Wicket? • So Teek lives with the Ewoks now?

The Force Awakens Notes-

• Yeah, that makes sense. Enough people looked at what the Empire did and said ‘yes, that was a brilliant idea!’ • Nice effect of the ship obscuring the planet there. • And there’s BB-8. • So, are we supposed to recognize this old man? • I almost commented on how this was the first time we saw blood in a Star Wars film, but I guess we kinda saw blood in A New Hope, when Obi Wan chopped off that guy’s arm. • So, what’s the story with this guy? I get the feeling he was an old friend of the family. Did he frequently have dinner with them? • I remember instantly liking this guy. It’s the first time we saw a Stormtrooper, or any member of the Empire, having a reaction to what they were doing. (Though the original Stormtroopers were all supposed to be clones of Jango Fett.) • So, was there a big battle on Jakku that we never knew about? Considering there are all these crashed Star Destroyers lying around. • Wow. That’s a really cool way to make food. • And an AT-AT Walker, too? What happened on this planet? • How do people understand the beeps and whistles? • Does Poe know who this guy really is? • I see you cleaned the blood off your helmet. • Think I heard a Wilhelm Scream! • So these guys were raised from infancy, I guess? Since they’ve only ever had numbers and not actual names. • I guess Luke’s name is even known throughout all of the First Order? • Were these the sinking sands that Rey was talking about? • I wonder how long he’s been walking through the desert. • Was there ever a headcount of how many applauded when the Millennium Falcon first appeared? • That was a risky maneuver! • Anger management, dude! • Also, I notice they mentioned the Falcon is a Corellian freighter. Not many people acknowledge that. • Hehe. The thumbs up from BB-8 • Hi, Han and Chewbacca! Long time, no see! • A Raptar? • Trillian Massacre? • Also, was there ever a book about how Han lost the Falcon? • Okay, cinematically, I get why these things didn’t eat Finn right away, but why didn’t he get eaten immediately like those other guys? • And they reveal who Kylo is in the middle of the film. • I think you impressed Han, Rey. • Heeee! The holographic chess board! • This looks like a nice planet to live on! • So he knows Finn isn’t really in the Resistance. • What do you mean, she’s an acquired taste? I loved Maz instantly! • Has nobody told this punk that Grandpa Anakin/Vader changed his mind and turned against the Dark Side? • So, what exactly triggers this vision of Rey’s? Is it the fact that Finn leaving is making her remember how she ended up on Jakku? • How did Maz find the lightsaber? Didn’t Luke lose it on Bespin? • They really love their Death Stars, don’t they? • Did Chewbacca ever use that thing before? • I think there was a book explaining the backstory between Finn and this other Stormtrooper. • Personally, I would have had the reveal that Poe survived be a bit more dramatic • So the Force can knock someone out now? • Ah, the Leia theme! • Oh, shut up, 3PO! • How long has it been since they saw each other? • Why were people apparently in an uproar over Leia not hugging Chewbacca? She just did! • Awww. I love the relationship between Poe and BB-8. • R2! • Who is this Snoke, anyway? • Bwaaahaahaa! Kylo’s actual face looks weird. This is the kind of face you’d think would be filled with acne. • I wonder what Rey’s Midichlorian count would be. • I LOVE THE STORMROOPERS’ REACTION!!!!! They’re like NOPE! • Hey, it’s Admiral Akbar! And is that Nien Nunb? • Heh. I kinda like how Han has become a believer in the Force. • Like that callback to A New Hope. • After all these years, they still use the same red alert sound? • When did Rey learn how to speak Wookiee? Is it just because of her heightened Force Sensitivity? • Okay, I know that one character is Carrie Fisher’s daughter. I wonder if she’ll play a larger role in Episode 9…. • Nice touch, showing Leia feeling Han’s death through the Force. • How exactly did they get ahead of them? • Interesting touch. When the two lightsabers touch, it turns purple. Nice attention to detail. • So now, the old Luke theme is Rey’s theme? • That’s cool, how she’s using the terrain in the fight. • Wait, why is the planet splitting apart again? • Oh, the fuel cells? Was that because of Chewbacca’s bombs? • So, what exactly triggered R2 to wake up? • Is that someone’s grave? Whose is it? • Hello, again, Luke!

The Last Jedi notes-

• The first time the Text Crawl is virtually pointless. Absolutely no time has passed since the last movie. • Heh. Is Poe just messing with him? Ah, yes he is. • Haha. Nice bit of humor with BB-8. • Okay, I get where Poe is coming from, but I think he’s letting his pride get the better of him here. • Yeah, they scored a victory, but at a cost. • Wow, that was an abrupt way to wake up from a coma. • Was nobody in the medical bay to stop Finn from walking around aimlessly? • Hahaha. • And the Porgs. • I just thought. What did Luke do with his ROTJ lightsaber? The one with the green blade? • Oh, is it inside the submerged X-Wing? • Did Luke not sense Han’s death? • Seriously, did no one tell this guy that Vader turned good in the end? • Well, if you didn’t want to be found, then who created the map? • Oh, is that where the blue milk comes from? These creatures? • That’s a big fish! • Is this the moment when Luke first realized Rey was Force Sensitive? • That’s a fair question, Luke. Your sister and everyone else deserves an explanation. • Admiral Akbar! • Well, they did foreshadow this in Rouge One. They had a file dedicated to Hyperspace Tracking in the Imperial database. • Oh, Leia and Kylo are sensing each other’s presence. • Mouse Droid! • Okay, this is an awkward scene, considering Carrie Fisher’s death. • Super Leia! • Haha! Chewbacca and the Porgs. • This is a nice reunion! • Love the callback! • So they killed Admiral Akbar off-screen? • I don’t like Holdo. • Okay, first time I saw this, I wondered if that bomber who sacrificed herself was Rose’s girlfriend or something. But they turned out to be sisters. • Hi, Maz. Bye Maz. • So they can communicate through the Force now? • I like the Caretaker Nuns. • Haha! Luke, you nerd! • So, this island has a similar area to that cave on Dagobah? • Oh, so that’s why he didn’t sense Han’s death, then? • That is a good question. • Oh! The rain crossed over! • Space horses! • Tragic backstory unlocked. • HAHAHA! • Luke does have a point. The Jedi Counsel overlooked quite a lot. • Wait, so this guy could open the cell door at any time? • I can’t be the only one who is reminded of Trico when I see these guys. • So you killed your father because he was holding you back? Is that what I’ve heard? • It’s like being in one of those mirrored elevators. • What is touching fingers supposed to do? • Yeesh. What a tangled web. • YODA! • Nice bit of wisdom from Yoda. • Wow, this movie is giving me whiplash. • Well, if they’d just TOLD HIM THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!! • Okay, who even was Snoke? • Well, that was anti-climactic. • Dawww. I want a crystal fox! • Awww, I love Poe and BB-8’s bond. • Millennium Falcon! • Does Chewbacca keep that Porg? • He just said that, dude! • Well, okay for you, girl. But now everyone’s gonna die! • Okay, that scene is kinda hard to watch, considering…. • Haha. That was cool! • Oh, NOW you figure that out! • Oh, they’re both sensing Luke dying? • Didn’t they already meet? • And there are the Jedi texts. • So now what?

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SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 3

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(8 months after tcw S5:E20, right before unfinished Utapau arc)

Ahsoka grimaced in pain as the contractions hit with more intensity and more frequency. The pain was unbelievable, and that was saying something since she'd survived broken bones, blaster wounds and lightsaber cuts. The baby was ready, she could feel it in the force. She needed to go get Nyx, but she'd been dragging her feet. Not only was every movement painful, there was someone else she'd rather have with her right now.

She cried out as the next one hit with double the intensity. "I know you want to come out kid, but could you take it easy?" she grumbled aloud. She laid back, wiping the sweat off her brow and tried to take a deep breath. Even that was painful. It felt like she would burst like a balloon. She gritted her teeth trying to power through the pain, but she felt the bed suddenly get damp. She looked down at her pants, stained as though she'd peed herself. Oh great.

With great effort, she peeled them off and hobbled into the refresher. "Nyx!" Her call became a scream as the contraction hit so hard she had to grab the sink so she didn't fall over.

He bounded through the door eyes huge, looking her up and down. "Wha.....?" He didn't even have a chance to finish as he slid on the leaking fluid racing to catch her as she fell backwards. She landed hard on his lap as they tumbled to the ground. She let her head fall back into his shoulder, closing her eyes as tears streamed down her face. "You're in labor!" he stuttered in shock.

"You think?" she said tightly, trying not to lash out at him just because everything hurt. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. She couldn't even blame the baby's father. But she wished he was here right now. Though, now that she thought about it, maybe not. She'd seen Anakin power through countless crazy scenarios without so much as a flinch, but she suspected this would be an entirely new and terrifying ordeal for him. What would he offer that Nyx couldn't? Well for one thing, she trusted him a lot more.

"I should get a doctor!" He tried to stand up, but she gripped his thighs so he couldn't move.

"Too late!" she cried, digging into his legs unnaturally hard as she felt the pressure of the baby's skull on her pelvis. To Nyx's credit, he barely yelped as blood stained his pants where she'd clawed him. She didn't have time to feel guilty as the next contraction pushed the baby further down. She took several rapid breaths, releasing him so he could come around and catch it. He grabbed a towel from the shower and placed it on the floor between her legs. She fell back onto her elbows panting.

Another contraction, another push. Pain crashed through her in waves. Sweat poured from her forehead and mixed with her tears, making her blanche at the sickly salty taste that dribbled into her mouth. "Almost there." He sounded more awestruck than terrified. This was more of herself than she wanted to show him, but it was what it was. She took a deep breath and pushed as hard as she could, and then collapsed backwards onto the cold hard floor as she heard the distinctive cry of a newborn baby.

It was the strangest moment of bright, headache inducing lighting, exhaustion, relief and... joy... She closed her eyes to relax after such a feat, that way she could greet her child more composed.

"It's a girl!" Nyx exclaimed. "I think..." he trailed off sounding doubtful.

"You think?" She laughed hoarsely as she looked down her body and could just make out the confusion in his eyes. "Haven't you ever seen a girl?"

"Well, yeah…" he said defensively, "I mean I'm looking at one right now. Maybe two. It's just hard to tell when they're this little. Like she doesn't have boobs." He said.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes, smiling to herself. How did she keep ending up around adorable idiots? She took a deep breath and sat up. "Remind me not to let you babysit." He was attractive sitting there, despite being covered in blood, fluid and sweat. His jet-black hair fell loosely in his face as he looked down at the child cradled in his arms. A smile played across his lips, there was admiration in his eyes. A pang hit her. She wished it was Anakin that was meeting their newborn for the first time. She shook it off. "Can you stop hogging her now? After what I've been through, I want to see if it was worth it." she teased.

"Oh right," he looked up like he'd completely forgotten she was in the room. He carefully handed her over, and Ahsoka looked down at the face of her baby for the first time. It was love at first sight. She rubbed her finger across her tiny hands and the girl gripped it tightly.

"Hello, Ashla," she whispered. She'd debated on the name for months, but the child's beautiful blue eyes looked back at her; her face as perfect and bright as a sunbeam and she just knew it was meant to be. Ashla meant ‘light.’ And that's exactly what she was. A light that came out of darkness, pain and goodbyes. Her features were Togrutan; her face narrow, high cheekbones, larger forehead, though not dramatic. But her skin was fair, and she had hints of hair. She had little white markings on her forehead and cheeks and a few stripes on her arms and legs but because her skin was light, they didn't stand out.

Ahsoka was relieved that she looked human. It would make her life easier. She'd be able to blend in and not attract attention. Ashla looked up at her gurgling and she watched her in wonder. She was the most precious thing she'd ever seen; the light at the end of the tunnel. As much as she wanted to show Anakin, it was better he didn’t know. She hoped that he'd not sensed her pain from the birth through the force. He was probably lightyears away with plenty of other things to occupy his mind.

---

“Anakin? Anakin!” Obi wan’s voice broke into his thoughts.

“Hmm?” Anakin blinked and refocused on the council around him, surprised to find them all looking at him.

“See something, did you?” Master Yoda asked him.

He shook his head. Even if he had, he wouldn’t tell them. It had just been a feeling. Pain… strong pain, but not the kind he felt around him on battlefields. It confused him because it had been mixed with… joy? It didn’t make any sense. Who feels happy when they’re in pain?

“Well can we get back to the meeting then?” Windu asked from across the room.

“Yes, sorry,” Anakin mumbled bowing his head. His mind wandered to Ahsoka. Did it have something to do with her? He couldn’t be sure anymore.

“Very good. Obi wan and Anakin will go to Utapau to investigate the death and report in…” Windu’s voice sounded far away.

---

“Not to ruin the moment, but I’m not sure a baby around my business is a good idea. It’s too dangerous.” Nyx brushed his dark hair out of his eyes and twiddled his thumbs, looking everywhere than at her.

Ahsoka had to bite her tongue so she didn’t tell him that she’d fought in countless dangerous situations with kids strapped to her. And that what he considered dangerous wasn’t even close to the things she’d seen in the last eighteen years. “Well you kind of did.” She tried to sound sassy like she used to with Anakin all the time, in order to hide the knot in her chest. “Are you seriously going to kick me out?”

“No, of course not!” he sighed. “It’s just…” he absentmindedly started wiping up the floor so he didn’t have to make eye contact with her. She watched him curiously.

“What?”

“I’m not real good around kids,” he said finally. “They don’t like me and I don’t like them and it’s just a bad combo.”

“Well just think of it as your roommate has a kid and you don’t have to worry about it. I’m not asking you to care for her or anything.” It must be all the hormones that was making her uptight. She suddenly wanted to be alone.

Nyx wasn’t a Jedi, but he seemed to notice the change in the room. He made a lame excuse about needing to fix a sprocket and disappeared, leaving her still sitting in the puddle on the bathroom floor.

She blew air through her nose out of frustration, willing herself not to cry. Jedi weren’t allowed to have kids or families. She wasn’t a Jedi anymore, but she had been one when her and Anakin had gone too far. She didn’t regret it. She loved him, even with an uncertain future, even having to raise the child alone… she still loved him. She’d always love him. Though being alone with a stranger and a new kid she had to raise by herself, wasn’t how she’d imagined the future when they’d slept together.

She ran her fingers down her daughter’s cheek, noticing how rough her fingers were compared to the baby’s skin. She pushed herself to her feet, exhaustion threatening to consume her. Her whole body ached. She turned the water on in the bathtub and let it fill while she cradled the baby in her lap trying to wrestle the tunic over her head one handed. Ashla fussed at the rocking motion and she spoke softly to soothe her. She gathered a few supplies from the cabinet and climbed into the tub.

She pulled her knees up so she could rest Ashla’s head on them above the waterline. She rubbed her gently, washing off the dried blood and bodily fluids. Cleaning her skin in little circular motions. Smiling to herself at the intimacy of the moment. Loving the beauty of this new light in front of her. She felt lost in her sound. She’d always had a fondness for children. She’d loved taking care of the younglings at the temple.

Her and Anakin’s first real mission together had been rescuing Jabba’s son. It was ironic that their relationship had started with a baby and ended with one. If she’d known that at the time, would she have changed anything? What a stupid question; of course not. The baby in front of her was something she could never regret. Even if it meant a daily reminder of the person she missed most. She silently thanked the force for the chance to experience motherhood. She’d never known how badly she’d wanted it until she had it.

She pulled the sterile knife out of the alcohol and carefully severed the umbilical cord between them. Tying the stub in a knot against her daughter’s skin and cleaning it off. She’d spent the last month researching baby care to make sure when it came, she could take care of it without needing to go to the hospital. Of course, half naked and crying on the bathroom floor with Nyx hadn’t been exactly how she’d imagined the moment.

Now that he was gone, she force pulled the little basket with a cushion into the room so she could put Ashla into it after drying her off and putting special lotion on her. Then she quickly cleaned herself up feeling like a real person again. She went about cleaning the bathroom up since the child had fallen asleep as soon as she’d put her down. She used the force to float it into the bedroom so it was a gentler motion and got dressed. She cleaned up her bedroom too.

Tired but feeling better, she sat on the edge of the bed watching her daughter breathe, occasionally twitching in her sleep. Her heart felt full. It came with a kind of peace and satisfaction that she’d never known before. She felt like she had a purpose again and she was going to hold onto it. She saw Ashla’s face screw up in a frown and then she started crying.

She picked her up. “Are you hungry?” she asked her as though she could answer. She sat on the bed with her back against the wall, opening her tunic. She marveled at every line and inch of her daughter’s skin as she suckled happily. “I’ll never let you go,” she whispered softly, rocking her gently in her arms while she nursed. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this happy.

Next Chapter - >

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What inspired you to get into comedy?

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What inspired you to get into comedy?

The Big Ask

Watching Monty Python for the first time at a party at the neighbour’s farm. A lot of info to get in. Being funny for love as a child. Tony Law, A Lost Show, Monkey Barrel, 15:00

I started out as a singer-songwriter. Some of my songs were funny, so I tried them out at a comedy club. I loved talking and getting laughs In Between the songs so much, I decided to see if I could do it without the guitar. So, one of the biggest inspirations for my getting into comedy was not wanting to carry an instrument around all the time. Myq Kaplan, All Killing Aside, Underbelly, Bristo Square, 21:15

I did it for a bet, no idea if I’ve won yet. Nick Page, Yes, That Nick Page, Apparently, Mash House, 16:50

Ricky Gervais’s vast fortune. Stanley Brooks, AAA Stand-up at Underbelly, Underbelly Cowgate, 18:20

I worked behind the bar at the Glee Club in Cardiff for a while, and thought I’d give it a go. Seeing Tom Wrigglesworth’s Open Return Letter To Richard Branson show made me want to do more story-led shows, though. Robin Morgan, Robin Morgan: Honeymoon, The Pear Tree, 16:00

Peter Kay. Never has anyone concealed the art so well – perhaps too well, even to the detriment of his being recognised as a real genius of the form. While making it seem like he’s just a confident chatterbox, his range is as good as any comic I’ve ever seen. He can communicate ideas with laser-beam precise language and dramatisation. He does a Nan going home early at a wedding party as ‘Yoda from Star Wars’, and for me it’s like someone broadcasting to you on your exact frequency – and the picture is so clear and precise it’s as if he literally formed it in your mind for you. No one would ever say it, but he’s also fantastically self-ironising and postmodern: he delivers one-liners at the top, and then dissects their cheesiness, thoroughly aware of the expectations people have about traditional comedy. When an act can literally change the way we talk about everyday life – and I think it is possible to talk about garlic bread, or biscuit dipping in terms of pre and post-Kay – then they achieved something quite special. Moon, Moon, Pleasance Attic, 21:30

The Doug Anthony All Stars. I idolised them when I was a kid in Australia, they were pure visceral subversive comedy anarchy. I knew all their material by heart. They showed me that if you don’t sweat you haven’t done a show. Last year I was lucky enough to meet my hero Tim Ferguson from DAAS, he is a bloody legend and inspired me to keep going. Nathan Lang, The Stuntman, Just The Tonic @ The Caves, 14:45

YouTube – Spending too much time binge watching stand-up specials and interviews with comedians meant the advice of ‘just do it and keep going’ stuck in my head so I have. Even though when I started I was dire at comedy I have kept trucking along and would hope I have now made it to the rank of acceptable. Struan Logan, Struan All Over the World, Counting House: Attic, 18:05

In 1995 my father gave my mother a Best of The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band CD for her birthday. It was the first CD that we, as a family, owned. I was nine years old and the excitement was palpable. Three months later, when he gave her a CD player for Christmas, it reached fever pitch. I remember listening to it over and over again. I think the song Mr Apollo might still be the funniest thing I can think of, and I knew I wanted to do something like that. Douglas Walker, Douglas Walker Presents: Of Christmas Past, Underbelly Clover, 22:50

Margaret Cho, Chelsea Handler, Amy Schumer, Sarah Silverman, Tiffany Haddish, Natasha Leggero, Chelsea Peretti and any woman in comedy owning her voice as she conquers. Jake Howie, Read My Lips, Just the Tonic Caves, 21:30

Back in 2016 I was crowned winner of London’s “Not Another Drag Competition”. Before then I had never really performed in drag before. Every week of the competition we were set challenges, and one week we had to put together 15 minutes of material. I decided to do a stand-up routine where I performed a séance and contacted all my favourite dead celebrities, culminating with the spirit of Prince possessing a dildo, which I had to exorcise. Thoroughly. It was the first time I had tried stand-up, and it felt so natural and good, and the jokes just sort of spilled out of me. Oh – and people laughed! From that moment I was hooked. Georgia Tasda, Georgia Tasda Means Business, CC Blooms, 22:30

Jen Brister, after seeing here show many years ago and I thought if this is what comedy is I like it and I want to be friends with her! Ruth E. Cockburn, Love Letters From Blackpool, Summerhall, 14:40

Growing up, I assumed everyone could recite a two-hour Victoria Wood stand-up set or know every French and Saunders sketch, or every word of Blackadder. It’s only when I got older that I realised maybe I was a bit more into comedy than other people. I eventually got into doing stand-up because I’d moved back in with my parents for a bit and, to be honest, I just needed to get out of the house. Emmy Fyles, Live Your Best Life, Hanover Tap), 13:15

My drama teacher at school always gave me the comedy parts, saying I had great comic timing, and she really encouraged that. She t old me to watch people like French & Saunders, Carol Burnett and Lucille Ball so I could hone in on it. So Mrs Bray, along with the people she told me to watch, really inspired me to pursue comedy. Maisie Adam, Vague, Gilded Balloon 16:30

Ricardo Salami. A street performer I saw as a child who never knew he changed the course of my life forever. He since died, and I never got the chance to thank him. Hopefully he won’t mind that I took his name and carried it with me on my adventures. Mat Ricardo, Mat Ricardo vs The World, Las Vegas Room, City Cafe, 12:30

A video cassette of Eddie Izzard. And Don Ward, the owner of the Comedy Store in Mumbai, refusing to let me leave without an audition. I’d come to do an article on him opening his club in India in 2010. Anuvab Pal, Empire, Pleasance Courtyard, 19:00

My dad, the comedian Mac McDonald and one of the funniest people I know, took me and my sister around the comedy circuit with a cabaret comedy act when I was 10 years old and I never looked back. Naomi McDonald, Naomi McDonald: Stardumb, Fireside, 15:45

Josie Long and my grandma; people who pull you into a story you wouldn’t care to hear from anyone else Helen Duff, How Deep is Your Duff, The Hive, 21:00

> My late director, Frank McAnulty. I took an improv class at The Second City on a whim after seeing an online ad (they work!) and then got accepted into their conservatory. I presented a comedy song for our classes graduating sketch revue, and his excitement and investment in it (and in all of us) made me feel like I should continue with this comedy thing, even thought I still had no idea what it was. And now, many years later, that same song is in my musical comedy that I am bringing to the Edinburgh Fringe this summer. So, thank you Frank! Anesti Danelis, Songs For A New World Order, Laughing Horse @ The Hanover Tap, 12:00

The seriousness of life Juliette Burton, Butterfly Effect, Gilded Balloon, 16:15

The worrying thing is I have absolutely no idea. I did sketches in s Ian Smith, Craft, Underbelly: Buttercup, 17:15

wful clients at my last desk job, John Pendal, We Are Family, Gilded Balloon Teviot, 17:30 A

A free CD that was on the front of Loaded magazine with clips of stand up on it. I remember the routines to this day. Brett Goldstein What Is Love Baby Don’t Hurt Me, Pleasance: Beneath, 19:00

Jack Daniels and Desperation. Garrett Millerick, Sunflower, Tron, 17:00

The man who mistook me for Reg D Hunter at a gig and then wet himself when he heard my Oldham accent. If it all fails I could be a tribute act Che Burnley, Elvis Was Racist?, Bar Basis, 21:30

Dave Chappelle and the Goon Show Pierre Novellie, See Novellie, Hear Novellie, Speak Novellie, Pleasance Courtyard, 19:15

comedian came to my uni to put on a comedy writing workshop and there was an open mic night at the end of it, and from then I was hooked. I bumped into that comedian who put on the workshop in Edinburgh a few years later, and I thanked her for getting me into comedy, and she said: ‘OK, well I probably got paid for it anyway” and walked away. Cool! David McIver, David McIver Is a Nice Little Man, 14:30 A

I’ve done lots of grown up jobs. I’ve run a successful business. But I’m rubbish with authority and I’m always distracting people from their work. There’s nothing else left for me to do. Plus, I saw Suzie Ruffell’s show a couple of years ago and she made it look do-able. Sam Fraser, Stand Up, Weather Girl!, Counting House, 19:45

A combination of Mike Leigh’s mid 70s TV films and the adverts at the back of The stage And TV Today Graham Fellows, Completely out of Character, Maggie’s Chamber @ The Free Sisters, 16:30

Intellectual bravado and physical cowardice. Lee Apsey, CSI: Crime Scene Improvisation, Underbelly, Bristo Square, 15:35

I grew up watching comedians like Frank Skinner, Lee Evans, Dave Allen, Spike Milligan etc. but it never crossed my mind that I could be a comedian until I worked at Up The Creek. I owe that place everything. Rich Wilson, Still Relevant, Sneaky Pete’s, 18:15

I had years of people telling me I was funny/weird and that I should try stand-up, but I had never really been exposed to it outside of TV. I had a break up that made me finally say fuck it and I went to do it. What a cliche! It was actually a weird feeling of relief finding comedy and when I looked out at that first crowd I realised it had been in my heart all along. Matthew Highton, Insufficient Memory, Heroes at Dragonfly, 20:40

interned at a radio station during college. The breakfast DJ is a stand up comedian called Bernard O’Shea. He suggested I do comedy, I batted it off and he organised a five minute support slot. I thad two weeks to write five minutes. Most of my first set was about my nan drinking hot tub water with a straw by accident and the IRA’s love of denim. I was so nervous and the adrenaline rush was amazing. I fell in love with comedy instantly and I’ve been chasing that same rush and never came close. Alison Spittle, Worrier Princess, Gilded Balloon Teviot, Balcony, 17:15 I

I wasn’t inspired, I was cursed. A witch I think. Terrible business. I thought it was a free potato, but it turned out it belong to her. John Luke Roberts, All I Wanna Do Is [FX: GUNSHOTS] With a [FX: GUN RELOADING] and [FX: CASH REGISTER] and Perform Some Comedy!, Assembly: Studio Five, 17:30

I just wanted to be Rowan Atkinson. He got to say all the funny things but other people wrote them for him. Seemed absolutely ideal. Kieran Hodgson, Kieran Hodgson: ’75, Pleasance Beneath, 20:15

It’s so uncool but it was actually my mum who encouraged me to start stand up. I was always writing funny stories as a kid and would do anything to avoid work and have a laugh at school and in subsequent jobs later on so she suggested I give stand up a go. I thought it sounded the worst idea ever but turns out she was right. Rachel Fairburn, The Wolf at the Door, Underbelly, Dexter, 21:30

I met an open mic comic and realised people were allowed to be bad at it Jez Watts, #1 Comedy Great Fun Best Show Jez Watts, The Three Sisters, 17:15

Published: 23 Aug 2018

Source: http://www.chortle.co.uk/features/2018/08/22/41023/what_inspired_you_to_get_into_comedy%3F

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