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#saucy jokes
zaftigpink · 1 year
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Fastest gun in the west.
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smittenskitten · 10 months
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Excuse you sir!
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uncreativeocs · 4 months
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Hajime (late to a class trial) Sorry I’m late I was shredding paper
Nagito:
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technoxenoholic · 9 months
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have i mentioned lately that krillin and android 18 are t4t? because they're t4t
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angelsdean · 7 months
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everyday i learn something new and horrific abt american food culture (is american)
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i feel like one day ill be 37 sitting in my studio with no ideas on what to draw and will think "hmmm. ill just draw men" and start sketching, and then when im finished ill look at the paper and dave strider will be there staring right back at me
#and thats how ill be almost 40 and get thrown STRAIGHT back into homestuck.#ill post it in my art instagram#(instagram has become a second twitter after the og got bought by the us government and mark zuckerberg decided to profit off of that)#and my thousands of fans who adore my comic (about two guys doing fuck all i hope) will ask me#''looool whos th saucy son of sobbing clown poodle'' (internet slang for the time)#and ill type in with my old decrepit 2022 internet slang ''blorbo from my webcomic dave strider hes like the supreme skrunly''#(three people respond to it calling me a combination of old+new 2040s slur and im not sure which of them is joking)#they decide in the posts Debate Area (second comment section for discussions to prevent fights) that he is worthy of attention#and so the 4Th Homestuck Renaissance begins. in three days the hyper online fans (chronically online people but like worse)#put it on the Cool Page (trending but worse) and homestuck goes mainstream#funkopops of the characters are made within a week of this happening#and theres a new meme of putting the official dave strider resin figurine in a jar and caprioning it THROWING HIM INTO THE SHAKER. DRINKABL#someone mentions the rainbow dash jar meme and disappears misteriously#they find out homestuck is public property since hussie was murdered in 2024 and vis media quietlt shut down a few years later#and start publishing fanfic (top ship is jadevris in a surprising turn of events)#the davekat hate is still there but like worse and im one of the top creatores to get crucified (there are 56 buzzfeed articles on me)#this ruins my comic artists career and i kill myself in november 5th 2048#txt
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blujaydoodles · 2 years
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WELL I made this mostly for reference for myself, but in honor of tiddies being made legal again(?) on tumblr AND the fact that Nyssa got flagged back in 2018 despite being fully clothed, here's a quick ref page of my sweet little nudist 😌
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neechees · 1 year
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I could also post nsfw art but I'm. Shy fvtgfvxbdggd. Maybe one day
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zaftigpink · 10 months
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A new take on a classic dumb postcard joke.
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todayisafridaynight · 11 months
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Snap you are the king of sexy funny back when you did Yamtien just goes to show you have a talent for humor and cheesecake.
there's something about the title 'king of sexy funny' that's really tickling me thank you so much anon ill take that crown with honor
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hua-fei-hua · 1 year
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alright whenever you have time (and also the energy) I would love to hear your thoughts on the lantern rite epilogue! Have a good day <3
we're going to pretend that people following me will care abt genshin 3.4 lantern rite spoilers so we're gonna put my entire deranged mess under a cut hahaha
*gently holds* MY XVS......
truly this lantern rite had EVERYTHING although truth be told, like, the way venti was kind of shoehorned in was a little disappointing. i felt a little bit baited by the way the 3.4 TRAILER HAD THAT ONE CUT RIGHT where it goes from VENTI PLAYING THE LYRE in the harbor to XIAO LOOKING UP AT THE FIREWORKS outside of wangshu inn, and then we see the xiao bit in the actual cutscene on day 2, but absolutely none of venti until the epilogue. and also we never see venti playing the lyre during the event story so it's like. whoever edited that pv absolutely had xv on the brain. like. what the hell was that it was magical i feel higher than a boat right now
BUT ANYWAY like i don't even care how obviously shoehorned in venti felt bc the interactions were all SO PERFECT i love love loved them. i loved the way hu tao just RAN INTO WANGSHU INN and started shouting for xiao, and then talked death to him until he was like "yeah sure i'll go to your dinner". they are so besties i love them their friendship is everything to me.
THE WAY. XV INTERACTED. IN FRONT OF US. xiao just like "well. um. there's this. um. um." TOTAL PANIC MODE n venti had to SAVE HIM with like "huuuh? did you forget already? i'm a bard!" like HELLO why do they need a COVER STORY why are they making up COVER STORIES TOGETHER WHAT WERE THEY DOING TOGETHER IN THE MARSH EARLIER like what kind of GAY SHIT--
also i'm pretty sure when xiao started explaining his relationship to venti, venti fluttered his lashes at him. like, i recorded the whole quest (bc i didn't last year with the final part n i REALLY WISH I HAD bc i STILL remember the dRAMATIC GASP i had when we had that one beiguang moment in the cutscene), and when i rewatched it earlier i was like. "HANG ON. DID HE JUST FLUTTER HIS LASHES" n rewatched it like three times. maybe my game was just stuttering BUT IT DEFINITELY LOOKED LIKE IT and maybe i'll gif it when i get home from work tonight
BUT ANYWAY (2) point is that the expression work this time was ON POINT like whoever's doing all that over at mhy hq needs to get a raise pronto. venti going (¬‿¬) at all the other immortals was so immaculate. you aren't subtle little man!!!
it's probably just shipper goggles on to an extent, but i feel like the xv implications were really strong this time around, with the parallels to that fontch guy's ancestor, and the guiping n everything... i'm kind of disappointed that we don't get to actually hear any of venti's unobstructed thoughts on xiao; like the ribbing n implications at the dinner are a lot of fun (like, they were totally making out in the marsh before dinner. we all know this. it's very clear imo), but it kind of makes me wonder why we can hear xiao like... do his Very Heavy Implying abt venti's importance to him (though again, he doesn't outright say anything-- we know the full extent n depth of xiao's feelings abt venti (romantic or not) bc we can read his character stories, so technically really he hasn't told us jack squat in the current canon timeline), but the best we get from venti are smug expressions. those expressions are very telling, ofc, but a very unhinged part of me wishes that mhy didn't feel the need to wrap up the xv in layers of allegory and metaphor and just outright heard one of them say, "this person is very dear to me." i know it's just the rabid shipper in me, and i need to be sedated, but i was really kind of hoping that we'd see the allegory w/the fontch guy's ancestor n madame ping lifted away at the end n, like, see or hear it be bound to xv outright. just for purely self-indulgent purposes o(--(
but anyway (3) i also love love loved all the playful ribbing, witty banter, and prev event callbacks btwn the characters!! hu tao n venti canonically making a pact to be poetry friends was SO GOOD you just KNOW hu tao is gonna commission venti to compose a JINGLE for wangsheng advertising purposes later, while zhongli n xiao are like, "this meeting never should have happened. we are all doomed." somehow i legitimately forgot that xq n venti know each other from irodori n was like, "...huh?" when xq mentioning knowing venti for like, a FULL two seconds. the way venti was like "damn you know i was right outside this entire time. can you believe the way some people ignore the wind?" n zhongli was like "hahaha (✿◡‿◡) the harbor is very busy this time of year (✿◠‿◠) it is very hard see or hear an individual person's whereabouts (^人^)"
AND ALSO. PAIMON BEING ELECTED AS THE "MOST DISTINGUISHED GUEST." PAIMON YOU GOT IN THE WAY OF MY DERANGED SELF-DELUSIONMENT MANY TIMES THIS LANTERN RITE BUT THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY. i thought it was interesting how no one nominated venti. like i was kind of expecting xiao to do it (but ofc he nominates traveler) which is fair honestly, n then i was like "IS LUMINE GONNA NOMINATE VENTI????" but then she nominated paimon n paimon was like "wait... me?????" n it was just EXACTLY like a bunch of adults telling the little kid they are the most specialest ever n they should have the honor of doing The Thing. as that little kid growing up, i know the feeling very well lol
there are other bits i'm just,,, rotating around in my mind, like venti and kazuha hanging out on the alcor, the way xiao goes "i can't taste the difference in xiangling's special almond tofu" when you go visit him afterwards, ALL THE GANQING THAT HAPPENED IN THE MAIN STORY I'M SO HAPPY FOR THEM I'M SO HAPPY FOR ME I WON VERY HARD THIS LANTERN RITE, n like,,, yeah!!!!
#asks#anonymous#(at my non genshin followers/mutuals) I'M SORRY FOR BEING DERANGED. EVEN THOUGH I'VE BEEN DERANGED FOR OVER A YEAR N A HALF#it's funny bc i never apologized for abruptly changing fandoms before gnshn. the shame of gacha gaming never dies lmao#ANYWAY i'm pretty sure venti just ate off of xiao's plate the entire dinner. 'let me get you another set of cutlery' says hu tao#'okay sure!' venti replies; already stealing xiao's chopsticks n eating all his food bc it's not like xiao's eating all that much#plus. i was thinking of that spices in the west event. n how to my surprise venti liked the almond tofu n grilled tiger fish...#been getting a lot of kudos on my xv fics these last few days hahaha; i mentioned to star yesterday that the saucy xv thing i wrote#waaaay back in late july is like 290 hits away from entering my top five ao3 fics by hits#and if that happened it would do what j/jk had never been able to do (which is break the b//nha chokehold over my hits stats)#(j/jk broke my records on bookmarks tho n i'm very proud of that i love you diner fic)#n star said we should throw a party if the saucy xv fic made it to top five n i was like.#a 'thank you to all the thirsty people for dethroning the shadow of b/nha that lives over me at all times' party????#n she was like 'yes. i think that is a wonderfully apt title' LOL#in the shower yesterday i was thinking abt the xvx week happening on twt n i Do have smth saved for the free day#this oneshot i started last july n then didn't finish until like two or three weeks ago but in the shower i was like#'muse... muse... you know it would be kind of fun if...' n i started thinking abt that livejournal au i came up w/as a joke months ago#so maybe i'll write smth real fast for that hahaha
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hyaciiintho · 10 months
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🌸。*゚+. Adriel Live Reaction to seeing their friend's threads where their muses are being flirted with and getting mildly saucy--
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hasdrubal-gisco · 6 days
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lshana habaa bgush katif
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nuzzle-me · 6 months
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I started calling myself a dumb puppy as a joke but bro… I don’t think it’s a joke anymore …
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I'm re-reading the Discworld series for reasons, and honestly the most relatable part of reading these as an adult is how many of the protagonists start out being tired, used to their little routine and vaguely disgruntled by the interruption of the Plot. Sam Vimes wants to lie drunk in a gutter and absolutely doesn't want to be arresting dragons. Rincewind is yanked into every situation he's ever encountered, though he'd much rather be lying in a gutter too. (Minus the alcohol. Plus regretting everything he's ever done said witnessed or even heard about fourth-hand in his whole life.) Granny Weatherwax is deeply suspicious of foreign parts and that includes the next town over; Nanny has leaned into the armor of "nothing ever happens to jolly grannies who terrorize their daughters-in-law and make Saucy Jokes"
Only the young people don't seem to have picked up on this---and that's fortunate, because someone has to run around making things happen, if only so Vimes and Granny and Rincewind have a reason to get up (complaining bitterly the whole time) and put it all to rights. Without Carrot, Margrat, Eric, etc. these characters don't have that reason; they're likely to stay in the metaphorical gutter and keep wondering where it all went wrong or why anything has to change.
............well, that's not quite true. You get the sense that Vetinari knows how much certain people hate the Plot. And as the person sitting behind the metaphorical lighting board of Ankh-Morpork, he takes no small pleasure in forcing the Plot-haters specifically to stand up, and say some lines.
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castellla · 1 year
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i like the phrase 'manic features' specifically, because features really gives a 'sick-ass touchless trashcan by simplehuman at bed bath and beyond that costs $499.99 and also cooks, cleans, and fucks your wife if you're both into that' kinda vibe.
#*bats eyes* but my features.#i'm covered in an oleophobic coating that resists fingerprints... *saucy wink* that's also a Lie you will see Every fingerprint#the feature i'm seeing so far is: i guess you can write a lot in a short amount of time huh me-chan#(side note i DON'T know if this describes me; im not a doctor and i havent been diagnosed with anything specific to my knowledge)#(but also yknow. my doctor didn't NOT mention it so.... (o v o);#this is just the joke about taylor tomlinson being flattered to find out selena gomez also had bipolar but with more words#in fact why did i specifically and unironically choose: a trash can?#*BECAUSE IM PASSIONATE ABOUT CLEANLINESS AND HUMANIST PRODUCT DESIGN BITCH WE OWE SANITATION WORKERS OUR FUCKING LIVES*#i'm comparing myself to the fucking rolls royce of trashcans (in my experience) because i love them and can't help being a leo#'this price makes me wanna gag but also wanna roll around in how smart i feel for having bought this particular model because it's so nice'#konmari please help. konmari outside of what seems to be a fucked up-ly contractory level of marketing#og konmari circa 2015 - yea use whatever kind of boxes you have on hand you don't to buy a bunch of stuff to organize#konmari circa now - (yeah yeah she did kind of 'sold out' with the container store Specifically because if you haven't been?#it is paradise for me (an organizing Dweeb)#but it's also mouth-droppingly expensive at times#they do make good products. i'm sure her line of products with them are popular#but it kinda does hurt to have HER name of all people on an $80 magazine tray?#and i'm not saying one is more correct than the other - truly i feel like she pushed for an ethos of 'do what works for you'#'and don't let other people shame you for getting what you want and need out of your home'#like. she has kids and a husband. aside from in home organizing - not sure how much of her time is split between actual client visits#time with family and time doing big BIG projects for netflix her publishers i presume etc.#and the container store deal... like i truly hope she got to be part of the creative process and was consulted about it#including the design elements and things like that#but also the price?#its def nice to have the option to buy something really pretty and im sure some people have bought it and enjoyed it#but it's really hard to swallow#because i think her method has appeal that can extend to people outside of an income bracket that lets them go 'oh fuck yeah!'#'konmari walnut hand stained wood tray?! you got it! *CLICKS BUY*'#but even though i'm painfully in her corner#i can't commonly justify things that are that expensive simply for branding's sake
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