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thehistorynut19 · 7 months

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harpocrates

Dedicated to @daigokiryu since we talk a loooot about our s/i's. I an utterly ENAMORED with Hack and Kuroro and I feel like Hack and Tea def got some shit - idk maybe they're these "rivals" or uh....

Hesitant allies? Who knows man.

Anyway enjoy imma hide

They say that older means wiser.

But older means you are older, senile, losing your sense of self and clinging on to that irrational reality that you think is real.

Perhaps they are both losing it.

Older she may be in a sense, a mother to all with a dead fish gaze of a lightpost; losing its light to time.

Younger they may be but the world had weighed down upon them with predatory gazes, unable to even lift the pen that they once used to flourish the world of ink.

It's poison to them now.

Carcinogenic fumes that buried their beloved.

A stinging, singing whip wrapped around their fist, the woman glaring at them. She thinks she knows, she claims she knows but does she?

Does she?

Does she know that agony that resounds, howls, and wishes in the dark that they make upon a starless sky because no one will fucking hear their cries?

Silenced by fate.

"Hack, that's enough, I don't want to fight you."

Hack hisses, a serpent within the grass as they raise their other fist. Flames licking at the deadly virus and ready to reach out and shoot forth-

"Stop! Please!"

The little lion cub paws at Hack's leg, having refused to transform despite his mother's state. Blunt nails digging into armor and scraping against keratin.

They don't want to kick the child but...

"Will this make you happy, Ku-san?!"

A pause, and Hack slowly feels their muscles distend upon themselves; shirking, rotting, a plague upon their bones. A heart once lost now falsely found feasting upon their own corpse.

When was the last time they had been happy?

"Will it...make you happy? Fighting?" Leoring doesn't know how to properly face the world, they know this but slowly do they bend down, the lancing whip's grace evaporating from their wrists as slowly both of their armor disintegrates

A choking, writhing, withering gasp.

"I don't know..."

Leoring slowly wraps his tiny paws around the leg of the other, "Can we stay...for a lil?" he whispers.

"Rest." A sudden shock of frigid cold to their cheek, a bottle of water in the hands of the other. Hack glances up to the tamer of beasts who gives them a silent and sweet smile. "When was the last time you had eaten, or drank something? Or even slept?" she always asks these questions to everyone, they remember her grilling her teammates with the most hideous of glares.

It's a sign she cares. when Hack no longer does.

Slowly they sit on the ground in a criss-cross position, bringing the little lion into their chest and letting out a sobbing sigh as the smell of popcorn and cotton candy and bubble gum fills their senses; it's the scent of the little kit that tries to help, purring and making biscuits against their shoulders.

"Thanks..." they hoarse murmur as they take the bottle after a moment of silence, and still has their hand stretched out as she places a wrapped rice ball into their palm to join it.

It's still warm...life put into it when they felt their own fade away.

"Do you think..." Hack murmurs as Tea sits next to them, Leoring looking up at them with wide eyes and a cock of his head.

"Do you think I'll see him again?"

"You will!"

"He's not the type to stay dead." Tea scoffs as she pulls out a blanket from her knapsack (they never figured out how the fuck she does that) and wraps it around their shoulders. "I'm sure he'll be back."

Hack doesn't speak, sipping from the bottle and munching from the wad of rice, listening absentmindedly to Leoring's little made up stories about the sun and the moon and the stars.

The silence won't kill any of them today, not until their tongues are primed for war once more.

#for brookie bc i adore u #uhhhh how tf do i tag this uhhhh #friends #s/i stuff for fwens #annyway brooke idk wtf i made pls forgib me im sorry

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thechaosoflonging · 11 months

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cute tings my besfwen did on dis trip tog w me 2 den haag & s-hortengobosch

he’s da only one who can see thru my facade of being happi in isolation & he told me dat i was rly sad acc n i had a huge self identity/personal crisis n cried for an hour in da hotel room. & realised i didn’t wanna 2 live like dis

couldn’t meet me at da airport saur said he’ll pay for a taxi 2 my gaff

bought me my ov chip card as a reign of passage of me being a local in da dam (2 pay me back for my taxi)

changed his bedsheets for me at my request

let me keep my stuff here & kept a drawer for me

peeled an orange for me & gave me a bit of choco da next morning for bweakfast (it was his fake roomates lmao) + told me 2 use his fake roomate’s body wash if his were empty lmao

would fill himself water n then fill it again for me in da same glass instead of giving me a separate glass

always shares his airpods w me whether it be a podcast or vids on ytb or reddit or music<3

helped me out in da markets when i didn’t have cash & i was able 2 get rly cute cat eye sunglasses bc of him for 10€

helped me w smuller getting me a borger bc it was like a vending machine for food

bought me water in da shops

told me when we arrived in s-hortogenbosch dat it was acc a rly cute town n he felt bad bc he’s sick n didn’t want 2 shit all over my plans

showed me his festival vids/pics & his concert vids

changed my mind abt techno! lofi techno or chill techno or techno where there r vocals is acc nice 2 listen 2 w a fwen

told me 2 stand near sum flowers n took pics of me

had dmc w me l8 at nite

we had a talk abt our relationship n i realised dat he treats me like family. not like a guest. no matter where i go. we’re jus so comfortable w one another bc we’ve known each other for 8 years

told me dat if i got a vocal coach i’d be an amazing singer bc i have a nice voice i jus dunno what 2 do w it along w being saur nasally n vocal fry a lil bit when i sing from my throat. it rly boost my confidence in singing bc all my life i’ve been told 2 shut up but my 2 besfwens r da most supportive of me musically wise

is acc convincing me 2 move 2 NL & 2 move out my gaff

told me i can come over for a week n we can do lots of fun stuffs hehe

told me 2 not be a stranger n dat i was always welcome 2 stay w him n his roommate

told me dat my turquoise dress was gorgeous & dat my tennis dress was v 70’s esque

his fake roommate told me dat he told her abt me working in childcare which means he does talk abt me 2 his fwens

took candid photos of me on da boat & nice photos of me posing

taught me 2 drive da boat. we got stuck in a pond but he got us out of it. & he slowed da boat when there were cute ducks n swans

went 2 an arcade n played ddr w me even doe it was out of his comfort zone

got rly rly rly into taiko drum game w me n we killed da last song n we look to our right n there were a group of 10 ppl (tourists?) outside looking at us n cheering along w us as we finished da song n it was da funniest ting dat has happened 2 me in a long time

dis cute lil tap tap tings on my bare leg/arm while we were listening 2 music n lip synced songs while we vibed tog

haggled da taxi for a round trip for me

got my luggage n stitch for me super fast as i stayed in da taxi

kept reassuring me not 2 worry

carried my water/smoothie/rubbish for me in his side pockets

carried my slippers for me in his bag

told me dat childcare/au pair suits me sm again

told me he acc thought sum of my playlist was p gud

always sat next 2 me on da train even doe his fake ass roommate tagged along w us 2 da market

called me out on my perfectionist standards which i rly needed 2 hear

told me dat he’s gonna invite me 2 stuffs n we can do more tings tog if i stopped bringing my suitcase lmao

took selcas w me on da boat <3

sent me off 2 da airport even doe he had 2 help his fake roommate move out

always sat next 2 me on da train given da option of sitting next 2 me or his fake roommate

#j #bpd #besfwen

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aurora077 · 3 years

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The Value of Recognition - Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - Well shit

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13934252/1/The-Value-of-Recognition

“Wei-qianbei, are you okay?” asked Lan Sizhui. Healer Zhang had been quietly filling in Second in Command Pan about what they knew so far, but the juniors had been focused on their Senior Wei and the adorable child who they couldn’t believe was actually the irascible Sect Leader Jiang. As such, they noticed when the mood on that side of the table dropped.

One minute everything was fine and he was enjoying the food and the next, Wei Wuxian’s chicken had slipped out of his chopsticks, Jingyi style, and had (luckily) landed on his bowl of rice without him noticing a thing. He’d fallen silent and seemed to be far away. None of them knew why he was reacting this way to the toddler’s innocent words.

“Who’s A-Ying?” Ouyang Zizhen whispered to Lan Jingyi.

“Beats me…”

But he remembered something and it seemed to click. “Wait.. Do you think... that it’s Wei-qianbei?” Jingyi replied, thinking of all the Wei Yings Hanguang-Jun had said since his return.

“Young Master Jiang,” said Jin Ling, also concerned about Wei Wuxian’s reaction and as straightforward as his uncle he asked, “Who is A-Ying?”

“A-Ying is A-Ying,” he chirped, “Wei-shufu said A-Ying will be fwens with A-Cheng, like A-die and Wei-shufu. But he didn’t bwing A-Ying.”

Jin Ling seemed like he’d caught on. He looked between his xiao jiujiu and Wei Wuxian with a mix of pity and sorrow.

Wei Wuxian had noticed none of this. His head was filled with white noise. Wei Changze. When did Jiang Cheng meet Wei Changze? Jiang Cheng never mentioned meeting his parents. And he himself didn’t remember ever being to Lotus Pier before Jiang Fengmian found him (though granted he did have a shitty memory). Mini Jiang Cheng said his Wei-shufu promised to bring A-Ying to play with him. Was that… Did it never happen because his parents...didn’t make it back?? Was three year old Jiang Cheng’s memory of Wei Changze the last time he ever set foot in Lotus Pier? Grief held his heart like a vice at the thought.

Wei Wuxian did not remember how long he was on the streets. He vaguely remembered being around five in the only memory he has of them that remained clear. Him, getting a little too big to ride on his father’s shoulders, but his father humoring him anyway. His mother was laughing and happy, sitting on a donkey and looking at them fondly.

His years on the street blurred together. All he knew was that his parents were on a night hunt and when they were done they would come and get him. But he waited and waited and nobody came. Eventually the food they had left him had run out and he had gotten hungry and wandered away from their camp (and later, couldn’t find his way back). He’d had to fight other children, even adults, for little scraps of food and the best places to find shelter for the next few years. And of course, the worst thing to happen to him was those feral street dogs who would chase him and bite him, especially if he’d managed to scrounge up any little food from the stuff people threw out.

(“Senior Wei.”)

When Jiang Fengmian had found him and taken him home, he was amazed at the beauty and splendor of Lotus Pier. To a nine-year old who’d been on the streets for years, he had never seen such a sight. If he had been there before, he would have surely remembered it! He could only conclude that he hadn’t gotten the chance to visit Lotus Pier. He didn’t recognise Jiang Cheng when he met him as a child and Jiang Fengmian had only said that this would be his home now. He hadn’t asked him if he remembered him or Lotus Pier.

Wei Wuxian hadn’t gone with Jiang Fengmian because he knew him, he had gone because the man said he knew his parents and had offered him food and shelter. By then, he was old enough to know that his parents were never coming back.

My god, his parents. When was the last time he thought about his parents? He’d told Jiang Cheng to leave the past in the past. The bitterness and the pain. He’d wanted them both to move forward and live happily. But now he was staring the past in the face, forced to confront things he had buried. Things he hadn’t even known he’d buried.

(“Master Wei?” “What’s going on with him?”)

Jiang Fengmian had rarely actually talked to him about his parents aside from the time he’d found him and told him they were his friends. He’d doted on him and treated him like he was his own son (unlike his actual son who’d gotten treated coldly many times, causing an argument between Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan every time without fail…).

It made Wei Wuxian feel terrible. He was happy that Uncle Jiang liked him and treated him well, but it felt really horrible to be the reason why Jiang Cheng’s face fell every time Wei Ying was praised and he wasn’t. He’d loved his grumpy shidi and causing him pain was the last thing he’d ever wanted to do. (Though he’d managed to do it time and time again.) But he’d meant it that day when he’d told Jiang Cheng that he didn’t want people assigning him to other households. His parents had been real people in this world. It was funny that now, it was Jiang Cheng who had to remind him of that, albeit unknowingly.

When was the last time he’d thought about his parents?

He choked back a sob.

(“Wei Wuxian!” “What is happening right now, is he okay?”)

How did he never know that he looked like his father? Who was left alive that knew his parents? Lan Qiren? (A man who disliked his mother... and hated him.)

Who was left to talk about them and honor their memory? Wei Wuxian had been so young and his memory was poor. He hardly remembered them at all. Why did nobody ever tell him he looked so much like his dad that a toddler, who surely couldn’t have interacted that much with the man, could recognise him in Wei Wuxian’s face to the point he’d thought it was him?

(“Senior Wei, can you hear me?”)

Wei Wuxian, in his obliviousness, had not even realised that was the case. Because he hadn’t known. Oh he’d heard about his mother. How she came down from Baoshan Sanren’s mountain, how she’d been so much like him. How Jiang Fengmian had loved her but she chose his father anyway. Just like Cangse Sanren, is what people said about him, once upon a time that is. Rarely anyone mentioned his father. And now, nobody mentioned them at all. Because nobody (save the uptight Lan Qiren) could even remember them. They were like footnotes in the grand scheme of his life.

His parents were footnotes in his life. He hadn’t intended to do it, but it seemed like they were part of the past he’d left behind when he told his shidi to leave it there.

He felt like weeping.

And indeed he must be, because the sound of it reached his ears. He reached a hand up to wipe his tears but.. his face was dry?

He felt a tug on his sleeve.

“Wei-shufu, A-Cheng is sorry.”

His vision cleared. Oh. He was surrounded by worried faces and a now teary-eyed baby, whose cries were a lot more silent than before but also a lot more sorrowful now.

“Wei-shufu don’t leave A-Cheng. A-Cheng will be good,” he cried, “Pwease don’t tell A-die A-Cheng was bad. A-Cheng won’t ask for A-Ying.”

Tears silently slid down the toddler’s face, and that was the impetus for his to fall too. He picked up the toddler and cuddled him, hiding his own teary face from the others in the child’s hair.

“Who said A-Cheng was bad? Was it the scary geges?” (“Hey!” protested Lan Jingyi.)

He stroked the child’s head consolingly, trying to control his own sorrow. He didn’t know what expression he had on his face when being struck with the past, but he hadn’t meant for the child to think he was to blame.

“A-Cheng didn’t do anything wrong. Wei-shufu was just missing his family.”

(Lan Sizhui gasped. It seemed like he too realised what was going on. He shared a look with Jin Ling. Wen Ning too had realised what was happening, and if a corpse could have cried, he would be sobbing on his friend’s behalf.)

“W..wei-shufu c..can *hic* bwing them to ‘otus Pier too,” said Xiao Cheng, sniffling.

Oh that precious little thing. “Maybe next time,” he deflected, “This time your Uncle Wei is here for you.”

He patted the child’s back. “Don’t cry now, come on, let’s finish your breakfast okay?” A-Cheng nodded. But he was quiet and let Wei Wuxian feed him the rest of his meal. Everyone else was subdued as well, each thinking that those two people never seemed to be able to escape an encounter with each other unscathed.

------

With the awkward breakfast over, Wei Wuxian had pushed his emotions aside; he’d reflect on those another time. Right now it was time to get down to business.

“Second in Command Pan, can I call you Senior Pan? That’s a bit of a mouthful isn’t it?” he quipped.

Pan An huffed but acquiesced.

“Okay so Senior Pan, Healer Zhang has briefed you already on what we know. With your sect leader currently… indisposed… Lotus Pier of course will be your responsibility and I beg your leave to help and to use the library etc as needed. It falls to you to grant us permission to stay but if we have it I promise I’m going to do everything in my power to make this right. A-Ling has a sect to run as well so the both of you can’t do everything alone. It’s going to be difficult enough to contain the news of what happened. People talk and lots of people would have seen Wen Ning bringing him in last night. The Lans have a song called Inquiry which I’m sure you’ve heard of. Lan Sizhui is proficient enough and I thought we could start our investigation by communicating with the spirit to find out what exactly it cast.”

“I admit Master Wei, I’m not pleased to have to accept your help for this. But yes you have my permission to do what it takes to break this curse, even though Sect Leader might break my legs when he... comes back,” said long suffering second in command Pan. “Why would A-Die bweak gege’s legs?” asked A-Cheng innocently. Crap.

“Uh your A-Die isn’t going to break anyone’s legs, A-Cheng,” Wei Wuxian laughed sheepishly. “Gege was just joking,” said a panicked Pan An.

Healer Zhang facepalmed. “Young Master Jiang, may I make a suggestion?” she said earnestly, seemingly invested in going along with the idea that he was in charge while his father was away. She had not, however, forgotten for a moment that this child was in fact her sect leader. He was responsible to a tee and would take Wei Wuxian’s words about being in charge to heart, even as a toddler. But he was also a child at the moment and there are some things you just don’t discuss in front of a child. Especially when it was about him. He would hear his name come up and wonder what he had done and how would they explain things to him then?

He hesitated but nodded.

“Why don’t you and your Flower-gege go with Flower-gege’s friends to do a patrol of the sect? Your Uncle Wei, Sizhui-ge, and Second-In-Command Pan have some boring adult things to talk about.”

Mini Jiang Cheng looked up at his Flower-gege who smiled encouragingly. “Okay,” he said softly, wanting to do his best while his family were away. He already messed up and made Wei-shufu sad. Maybe A-Die would give him a hug if he did a good job and didn’t cause any more trouble..

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