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#ruru ki bakwaas kavita
king-of-knives · 1 year
Text
Vanessa
A beautiful mind,
Three words and I'm seventeen again,
I cannot breathe,
And there she is,
Vanessa,
You are me,
I am you,
Lie back,
Close your eyes,
There he is,
And I felt nothing,
As I said I love you to him,
I need it to be love,
That is how it ends,
His pitiful love,
While his heart broke,
I ran wild and free.
Arms around me,
I cannot breathe,
My heart is racing,
With wet eyelashes,
I called love,
I'm not a child,
He's not a child,
There she is,
Vanessa don't save me,
It's my pitiful love,
Three not thirty,
Maybe I shouldn't have read amanecer,
Now I'm not wild and free,
All of me is shattered,
How am I to love me?
Just breathe,
You love me,
Do you remember?
I don't remember,
You're young,
You're the scary monster,
And I'm a pathetic man in love,
I'm going to ruin you,
I can tell when it started,
It ended I don't know,
I'm in a haze,
All I remember is counting days,
I was asleep,
Then I wasn't,
One moment I'm human,
You touch me,
Now I'm a unhuman.
You worship me,
Yet I lick your plam,
And you take and take and take,
He is my brain,
He is my heart,
He is flowing through me veins,
And yet I hold his petty heart,
Bare in my hands,
I wish,
I wish I'd smash it under a dirty rock,
But he consumes me,
He controls me,
So I just sit there cradling it to my chest,
As he weeps on my shoulder,
Be careful,
Don't you know,
I eat men like air.
I know,
I'm the trouble,
You aren't the demon,
It's me,
Because I did nothing but sit and lie,
I should've grown claws instead,
Tear your face in half,
Maybe with blood in my hands,
And mouth with fangs,
You could stop loving me,
And run for you pathetic life,
No one would save you from me,
My power is unrecognized,
I'm not unconscious of me,
You and I,
We aren't the same,
Nessa look at me,
I will save me.
A hand,
On my neck,
A brush,
Of my wayward hair,
Pretty words,
Whispering my ear,
And lips,
On my raging veins,
I want to sink my teeth,
On your racing pulse,
And still,
As citrine blooms in my mouth,
As sweetness trails my chin,
As satisfaction trickles down my throat,
And the pulse is quiet,
And your chest is cold,
I finger paint a can I under your breastbone,
I adored you love.
Take a deep breath,
And I'm crying,
Wet pillows and sleeves,
I'm a heap of bones,
Not dead,
Not alive,
I choke on my breath,
Hot hands on my skin,
I don't feel a single thing,
I'm not me anymore,
I float above,
Hover against the ceiling,
As my hands sweat,
And my brain freezes,
I hope I can chop out his tongue,
Crack his fingers,
And squeeze my fingers around his throat,
Until blood drips down my arms,
And I'm sitting in a pool of strawberry red,
I finger paint a no on your cheek,
Because I loved you honey.
I'll crack open the decks,
The boats will drown,
Those sailors will be mouthfuls,
For me and my monsters,
We live under the sea,
Under the shadows where he cannot see,
Come to me Nessa,
I'll make him grovel at your feet,
Crying for his pathetic love,
The one which didn't exist,
Don't scream in your head,
Break the desk,
Until all that's left,
Is splinters under your feet,
He can't break you apart,
You aren't twisted words,
Tie up those maple hair,
This is your war Nessa,
This little girl,
Is gonna be pretty mean.
-s.b.
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This one took me tearing out my heart and putting it on fire so I hope to whatever God's out there that someone likes it ... love y'all.
And to someone who's has ever read my dark vanessa enjoy the references
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king-of-knives · 2 years
Text
Blood & Pills
Three red lines,
As a reminder to me who forgot,
Make it six,
For her unrelenting faith misplaced,
And sooner or later it'll be thirty six,
Cuz she just can't stop being who she is,
And by the end of line it'll be a series of six x.
Overlapping again and again,
Scarring the dusky hue in shades of maroon,
Red to brown all litters never leaving,
The shadow of her heart,
Ever painting her ribcage in sin,
I've stopped hoping to die,
But to let go of it all,
Is something I gotta do,
And to the day I learn another way.
My blade it's just me and you,
You're the love I'll itch deep inside of me,
Until the day I won't need to hide blood splattered tissues,
My candle it's just me and you,
You're the love I'll scorch in my fingertips,
Until the day I won't need to excuse match burns as a defensive plea.
My broken glass it's just me and you,
You're the love I'll split my tongue with,
Until the day I won't need to hurt in small ways to stop my insanity out of my hands,
My pills it's just me and you,
You're the love I'll keep locked in drawer,
Until the day I won't pretend to myself that I don't need chemicals to live.
And I don't want to die,
And I don't like blood bags,
Or twenty pills a day instead of nine,
But I don't like feeling numb,
And no taste on my tongue.
I can't help it,
That things which keep me alive,
Make me feel dead,
I can't help it,
That I like headaches and dizziness spells,
Atleast I like eating and know what temperature it actually is,
My feet aren't cold and head isn't hot,
I swear I'll be good before it gets bad,
But I like feeling alive not just living dead.
-s.b.
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king-of-knives · 2 years
Text
Pieces of me
You tied me back from pieces,
Made me felt seen,
Made me felt heard,
And God I wasn't alone for a long long time,
And I'd lay my life for you,
I'd love you more than love of my life,
Y'all held me together at the worst of times,
3 am calls,
Movie and games nights,
It always felt like you were a part of my life,
God I hated being emotional,
But I'd fall apart in your arms,
With no hesitation and no remorse,
You made me felt like I belonged,
Like maybe I'm human,
Not just pure chaos,
And now you're gone,
And I don't know what to do,
It's like you're sitting next to me,
But I can't ever reach you,
Who am I supposed to talk to,
When the only one who could make me,
Get me are gone?
And I say it again and again,
I'm here, I'm here, I'll wait till forever,
Believe me when I say,
There'll never be another you,
I don't understand why you are afraid of hurting me,
While I'm standing here telling you,
That nothing you do would ever hurt me,
Don't you know me enough??
Aren't you the only people who know me??
To know that only one way you can hurt me?
I wouldn't ask you to stay, I couldn't,
But I lied when I said I'll be fine,
Don't you know that this is gonna tear me apart?
More worse than he did?
More worse than anyone can??
Don't ask me to be okay,
Don't ask me to take care of myself,
I don't know how to do it,
I'll go back to being me,
The me before I poured my guts out to you,
The me before the night we played t n d,
I'll revert it all back to before you knew me,
Whoever said heartbreaks hurt,
Must've never felt whatever this is...
And it doesn't matter how much you say,
I could never hate you,
How could I when y'all taught me that I could be loved without giving something in return???
You aren't someone else to me,
You are the one whom I've given pieces of me.
-s.b.
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So sad so sad ik whteverr it my poem you gotta deal with it if you don't like it your problem
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king-of-knives · 2 years
Text
I still love you
I still love you,
The words stare at me through the light dimmed screen again and again,
I continue to feel nothing,
No flutter in my heart,
No warmth in my body,
I stare at it hoping maybe some part of me is alive,
I cry,
Cuz I'm dead again.
I love you too....I'm sorry,
Send,
And you put me in situation where I'm the monster again,
That I've to watch myself break your heart all over again,
And I cry more,
Cuz I'm dying again.
Why is it you always make me choose between you and me,
But I'm the one who is tearing us apart each time?
Pls pls try to understand this time why I can't stay,
7 months ago I was the one begging crying and apologizing,
How am I still the one doing it all again??
You begged yes,
You cried yes,
You never apologized,
All while telling me I'm the one who's tearing us apart??
While telling me I was using you,
That I got bored,
That I'm not the person you fell in love with,
But I'm the one who broke your heart??
But I'm the one who broke us??
How come you don't see it?
Why don't you understand?
Yes I shouted I got angry said profanities,
It was once,
You made me,
Don't you know you had left me no choice?
Had you forgotten how I much I hate being angry??
Did you forget all the times you had shouted at me??
Did you forget how I had begged you not to?
Did you forget how many times I had tried to talk to make you listen before I shouted??
It was once, you've done it more, but I've to pay the price??
You've acted more rudely to me,
Than I've ever to you,
But you make me feel bad cuz I was rude once?
Things cant be unsaid,
The damage that's done is permanent,
When will you realize it won't ever be better?
That I'll always be bitter?
That a part of me will always fucking hate myself cuz I loved you?
How long is it going to take you to understand,
There is on us,
There never will be,
I won't let there be any us,
Paint me as the villain,
Talk of me as I'm the one with no heart,
But don't ask of me to be yours again,
Dont ask me give away my life again,
Don't make me want to write my death again.
I still love you,
But I'd hate to break it to you,
Us is not worth it anymore,
And I've dug a grave and buried my love,
For you it's dead.
-s.b.
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Cry with me people cuz I'm a sucker for sadness
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king-of-knives · 1 year
Text
He's like a page I can't turn
A poetry I can't complete
Words choked in my throat
Before my breath stopped
Like I'm stuck in mudtraps
Trying not to move
Trying not to drown
Waiting and waiting
Maybe I'll become here a stone
Or maybe someone will throw a rope
An end which I can pull
Or a noose on my neck
To pull me out of death
And to it's arms again
And I'm half alive
Half dead
He's left my half heart
Torn in a quarter
And I'm wishing on hope
It doesn't turn to a dime
Cuz there's dozens of him
-s.b.
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king-of-knives · 2 years
Text
Okay so those are somethings I forgot to post here so there's that enjoy???
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
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king-of-knives · 2 years
Text
Wine glass
.......
Snap it
Snap it
Snap it
God shut up
Nimble fingers slide along the thin surface,
Smooth, crystal, breakable,
Bite it
Bite it
Bite it
Snap
Shit shit shit
The sink is red
There's velvet running down my chin,
Chipped sharp edges clinking down the steel,
It's not coppery,
It is coppery,
It only smells coppery,
It's sour sweet like water and honey and lemon mixed up pours in my mouth,
Spilling out with knife sharp cuts,
It was an accident,
No it wasn't,
LIAR,
Shut upp,
You've done this before,
No no I didn't know,
Do it again,
DO IT,
Shut uppp,
God shut up,
Eyes open,
There's no red,
There's no pain,
It was a dream?
No no no,
Look at that!!!!
Fucking look!!!!
"There sits the wine glass with broken rim"
-s.b.
Love ruru <3
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Ik it doesn't make any sense!!!!
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king-of-knives · 2 years
Text
Him and hers
Her sweet saccharine taste,
Her tongue on mine,
And the world disappeared,
My love my love I can never have,
His breathy smooth rough honeyed voice,
My name roll off his tongue so agonizingly sweet ruru ruru ruru ruru ruru,
We were just friends,
My love, my darling, my sweetheart, my sweet sweet ruru,
Oh he wasn't my love he was a dream a paradise,
His dark luscious hair tousled over roughly,
Black mask covering his face,
Dark eyes staring with crinkled edges like smiling to the camera,
His smile,
Sparkling full of joy,
Like a sunrise,
His dark light rough beard,
And his pale snowy creamy glow,
Two half snapshots and I could tell,
My lord he was beautiful,
So so charmingly beautiful,
But his voice,
His hauntingly sweet voice got me captivated,
Like bee is to flower nectar,
I didn't listen to his voice,
I could taste it,
Sweet sticky vicious like honey,
I did saw his eyes dark starry sharp,
I felt them prickle a thousand needles over my skin,
When he said,
Ruru you're beautiful, you've a wonderful wonderful mind and God you're addictive,
No no it wasn't love,
Love is shattering heartbreaking,
We knew were doomed, there was no love,
I could feel his stare through the screen,
I could feel his gaze through the words,
It was crushing crushing me that it wasn't love,
The calm the comfort it was more and it was doomed,
Every word out of his bloody mouth made me feel alive so much alive,
And then the doom came,
You remind me too much of her,
Her her her it's always her,
And the fake world we built shattered,
And I could breathe,
And fell down no I stumbled back to HIS words
You're like her, you're depressed like her, you're crazy lovely like her, you broke my heart like her,
No no no but I spiraled down the dark lane,
I'm no her,
I'm no replacement for everyone for everything,
He was nice he was fine he didn't hurt me,
We were friends,
But one sentence all pushed me down to HIS WORDS,
The one who broke my heart every time he spoke,
The one who shattered the me I see everything I see,
The one who just keeps on smashing and tearing on my wounds like a silly little game,
Calling me a child,
Cuts over cuts over cuts all bleeding again,
He dressed them up when I was crying,
Said ruru you don't need anyone,
You alone are more than enough,
Ifs ifs so many ifs,
If I'd be there I'd save you I'd hug you,
If I'd be there I'd take you on your birthday date love,
If I'd be there you wouldn't have dated that moron,
He's a fool,
He's a fool he can't see you,
Him stupid stupid my brother him,
Leave me hanging worried for him,
While he shuts me out while I'm trying to help
Him my cold and hot dumbshit best friend,
Not talking over relationships and girls,
Him Casanova as fuck my twin like shit,
Always crying and leaving and coming back,
Her my oldest friend,
Always texts in crisis or celebration,
Babes did we ever even talk about me?
Her my lovely love,
Always arguing who's not telling what,
Baby you know me more than the mirror does,
Her Always complaining,
About not calling not texting,
And where are your attempts?
Her Always texting,
Tell me when you come,
Dude you cancel shit every time i do,
I'm tired of hims and hers,
Lovers or friends,
People leaving whenever they redeem,
And I'm tried I'm tried of being the rebound friend the rebound girlfriend the rebound whtever,
I'm tried of hims and hers wanting me,
To give to give to give love and friendship and everything,
While I'm left with crying alone at nights,
And late two worded goodbyes,
Ruru ruru ruru ruru God I love me but damn I'm tried of me,
I changed me but whats the difference,
If I still tear me to pieces every night,
Just to be fine the other sunrise.
-s.b.
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king-of-knives · 2 years
Text
No one
No one no one no one,
The words screech in my head over and over,
I'd wish I had carved them out on my rib cage,
With the aqua blue cutter I've carried with me since 6th grade,
Never forget them,
Never forget them,
Let them be engraved in me,
Like they are ingrained in my mind,
I'm no one,
I'm no one.
Who am I if not 5 yrs old??
Letting you cry to me when you felt abandoned,
Every night away from everyone's sight.
Who am I if not the one letting you hug my waist,
As you cry on my uniform skirt before every class when you were in first grade,
I'm here baby I'm not leaving I tell you.
Who am I if not the one who asked you come here,
Arms spread, I was 12 you were 13,
Angry so angry that you wanted to fall apart?,
I had let you cry on my neck when you wanted to fall apart in front of no one else.
Who am I if not the one who doesn't mind you crying on my t shirts all the time?
You come to me asking for a hug,
Have I ever told you no?
Wasn't it just yesterday you ruined my favorite yellow tees?
Who am I if not 17 who broke your heart?
And I had let you cry in my arms,
Cuz I knew you had no one else?
Who am I if not 18 lecturing you not to cry over me,
I'm not worth it I tell you,
Please stop crying I beg you,
I'm a mess you don't have to worry about.
Who am I if not the one who had spent nights,
While you want to cry,
Who's spent hours sitting with you,
When there was no one else,
Nursing ur wounds,
Am I no one to you???
I had spent a lifetime in me,
Letting people cry on my shoulder,
Why is it that my tears have only met inked pages??
And yet my t shirts are still tear stained??
And I've to remind myself again and again,
Who am I?
No one no one no one,
Absolutely no one to ever care.
I wish I'd spent that much time,
Healing my scars instead,
I wish I'd spent that much time,
Tattooing no one in my head instead,
Why wouldn't you let me cry,
When I ever wanted to instead?
Stop crying they say,
Its not good they say,
Be strong they say,
But what if I wanna fall apart?
Just once for once,
Please I just want to catch a break.
Looking at the aqua blue cutter sitting on my desk,
I think again,
You are absolutely no one to yourself,
To carve that in your skin,
Think of what they'll think,
Stop crying like a child.
I get up and keep the cutter in my drawer,
Still not doing what I've wanted for so long,
I wish my tears would be blood instead,
And I didn't have to feel guilt,
That I had slashes on my wrist instead,
Maybe the wounds wouldn't fade,
But atleast they wouldn't leave scars on my heart instead.
But then I remember,
And carve out it in my head again,
That I'm no one for anyone to ever care for instead,
Still doing the same thing,
I've done for more years then I can count on one hand instead.
-s.b.
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king-of-knives · 1 year
Text
"Whatever your name is, in my mouth it turns sour" source
Like sweet tangerine gone rotten,
Like coffee kept out too long,
Like toffee kept in mouth too long,
Like sweet poison dripping down my tongue,
They say cyanide is sweet,
Or an undetected sour.
-s.b.
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king-of-knives · 2 years
Text
You know what I find peace in?? I find it in you never knowing who I'm anyone that you'll never find out who I changed to and that I'll never have to find out if you did change for better that I won't ever have to wait and wait thinking it'll get better that I won't be bitter cuz I don't have anything to be bitter about anymore and it feels so so effing good to just think about only me and only about what will make me happy and not worry about what I do or how much my alone time will hurt someone cuz I'm just the kinda person who loves spending time just with myself and it just feels good knowing I don't have to be happy for someone else's sake and that even if I fail all the expectations anyone has about me being a whatever kind of person I'll still be actually okay and that even if I fail in making things work my life will still be good and that having fails doesn't mean I failed my life but learning things and being happy with who I'm and doing things I enjoy is more of the life.
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king-of-knives · 2 years
Text
I know I'm kinda unlovable,
Kinda emotionally unavailable,
And gods sake these days no one seems believable,
But when I look at him,
I swear I do lose my mind,
I don't know wht it is,
I'd let him break me in two,
Let him smash my heart to smithereens,
Cuz I'm sure when I say,
He's worth lifetime of heartache,
If he let's me I'd let him know me,
If he doesn't oh well I'll make him a God in my poetries.
-s.b.
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king-of-knives · 2 years
Text
Mirrors
Early morning it's 4 am,
I'm sporting black eyebags,
Chapped lips red sore eyes,
And severe migraine.
Looking in the mirror,
I don't see a trace of me,
The girl who used to be,
Red nose wild hair,
Sweaty palms tear streaked cheeks,
And sore throat.
No I can't find,
The me people see,
Not a sliver of her,
As the horizon is dark,
Only a ghost of her,
Left stalling by.
They say mirrors don't lie,
Then why don't I recognize the person I see,
I wish I could break every mirror in sight,
Cuz I don't wanna look at its insight,
A reminder of all the graves in me.
No I don't wanna look at the shadow,
Who's begging me to come back,
At its mercy,
My pasts chained to my feet,
Dragging me downhill,
The mirror doesn't show the cuffs I see,
All the sweet dreams,
That leave me not breathing.
No I don't wanna see all around me,
Not at the people who can't see,
All shivering,
Startling,
Breaths stuttering,
Yeah,
No one knows,
No one sees,
Past all the mirrors,
Under all the shadows,
A rot skeleton of me.
Half assed smile,
Crinkled eyes,
Sarcastic jokes,
Funny geeky clothes,
Kinda skewed glasses,
Chill cringe composure,
All they see are the reflections of the mirrors.
So darling I shattered it,
All of it,
Shards and pieces of mirrors all stuck in my skin,
Who would've thought that it could get worse,
But oh my fuck the skeleton's bleeding,
Guess shouldn't have done that,
Should've kept the mirror intact.
Looking up in the reflections,
All the words floating over my damned head,
God it feels like I'm dyslexic,
Mile a minute,
Words blurring in each,
Ink bleeding in each,
Fuck I wish my mind was paralytic,
God damn,
Can someone make the mirrors disappear,
By a magic trick?
-s.b.
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king-of-knives · 2 years
Text
To you
Maybe I wasn't meant to be your forever,
Maybe I'm just never meant to be anyone's forever,
Cuz darling I don't know about you,
But it feels like you'll always be my forever,
Even if it's all gone,
Nothing makes the love I've for everything go away.
I don't know how,
But I don't wish for you nor anyone else,
Somehow I feel,
Like it's never gonna be forever for me,
You were like a home to me,
But then again I make every place feel like a home somehow.
I've never met a soul who says I'm not a lovely person,
And I'm not lying love,
They say I'm different,
That I'm the like the easiest person to talk to,
That I'm beautiful soul,
A good person,
That I deserve the world and more,
You used to say that too.
Those words never meant much,
Cuz it was ordinary to hear them for me,
Until you uttered them with starry eyes to me,
And it felt like I could really deserve them,
Cuz I loved you in a way I never had loved before.
The thing is I can love anyone in that way,
If they do love me back that way,
But you lied,
Even if you don't agree,
You never loved me the way I did my love.
Cuz one doesn't threaten people you love,
About leaving the moment they disagree on something,
Cuz you don't keep conditions over conditions,
Barricades over Barricades over conversations,
When you love them unconditionally.
I've never known limits in loving someone,
Platonically,
Romantically,
Or just in an ordinary humanely way,
And I knew no limits in loving you either,
I think I crossed all my insecurities,
All my walls,
All my demons,
All of me,
To love you.
For the first time in my life,
I was completely bare,
Emotionally,
Mentally,
In every way.
I don't have faith in people,
People hurt other,
Intentionally,
Unintentionally,
I expected you to hurt me too,
I expected me to hurt you too,
But never like this.
To me you were like home,
Like a liberating breath,
Like being washed over by serenity,
To you,
I was clay to shape whtever way you like,
And when I didn't curve the way you liked,
I was cut off bit by bit,
And I realized too late.
Now more than half of me is torn apart to sew back again,
And the patch work from before has to be torn again too,
Cuz you tore me from different tears than the ones I was already torn from before,
Before I was torn in hundred shards,
Some of them lost forever,
I made an art of me form the ones that were left.
And you came and loved how pretty it seemed,
Like everyone does,
But you wanted to change it,
Make it more perfect,
But darling art isn't meant to be perfect,
So I broke into a million,
Barely gather able shards again.
It's almost dust,
All of me seems literally just dust now,
And I tried my best,
And I'll make a more beautiful art out of it,
But this time I'll make it haunted.
One that people admire,
But won't make it thiers,
One you'll admire too,
But will think a billion fucking times,
To even touch it,
Cuz this time it won't be affordable to anyone,
To you,
It'll be priceless,
And to others it'll just be a dream.
I'll still love people,
But I dont think I'll trust someone that way again,
I don't have it in me to break again,
Cuz if I break again,
I'll turn to dust and drift away in void.
So this is,
To you,
My forever dream,
Which wasn't ever true.
-s.b.
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king-of-knives · 2 years
Text
Home
Darling when I say I come from a broken home,
Doesn't mean that I'm not privileged,
I come from a home people are broken to pieces,
And no they don't let you be in one pieces either.
Oh let me tell you I'm a jagged piece of glass,
Which was broken like a fucking million times,
Even if I look so beautiful at sight,
When you hold me,
No matter how delicately,
I'm gonna cut you even if I don't want to.
And no babe I've never felt at home,
Amidst all the screaming and accusations,
All the shitty excuses thrown on responsibilities,
All I've felt is like an unwanted, unloved, disposable piece of shit.
And maybe that's why I'm so attached to you,
Cuz it's like your presence muffles all the screaming,
You being there makes me forget that my home is on fire,
Like I'm wanted and loved and indispensable,
And no I haven't felt like that before.
So maybe that's why I forget all the mistakes you make,
Maybe that's why I overlook all the hurtful words you say,
And maybe that's why I've been crying since two days,
And maybe that's why I haven't eaten more than quarter off my plate.
All the hazy mornings,
Spent tangled up in sheets with you,
Just lying in your arms,
As you pull me close,
Nothing ever feels more like home.
All the silent moments,
Sitting close by,
My head on your shoulder,
And yours on mine,
Oh darling I'm touch deprived,
Nothing ever feels more like home.
Oh I love making food for you,
I love adjusting your hair so it looks less of a mess,
While you look at me with stars in your eyes,
And a foolish smile on your face.
But darling I don't know what is Love,
What if this isn't love and I hurt you,
What if this isn't love and you hurt me,
No I couldn't take that I would die,
So I broke both of our hearts before we could even get to recognize,
If it was never love,
Then I can now believe that you've always loved me.
And I'm telling you I've never felt more home,
Rather with anyone else than you,
I don't know what the future holds,
But I know one thing for sure,
That you'll always be my first home.
-s.b.
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king-of-knives · 2 years
Text
Happy Crappy New Year
As the shitty 2021,
Has come to an end,
And everyone is putting up photo dumps,
Let me paint a pretty word picture of how it went,
Even tho it was a fucking shitty year,
I can say I'm thankful for it,
Cuz it was the most memorable year,
Bad and good combined I'd never forget this year.
All my lovely internet friends I made this year,
Whom I've given stupid silly names,
I'm writing this for you,
Cuz belive me I wouldn't have survived this year without you,
This year was though,
But y'all made it easier to go through,
Hold me by the ropes,
When I was lost in blues,
I'm grateful for you to be with me there at my lowest of lows,
And miss y'all so much,
Cuz as the regular life goes on we haven't talk a lot,
But do remember that I'll always love y'all and cherish all the memories I made with you.
And all my real life friends,
I'm happy I started talking again to you,
And I'm happy that these friendships never change,
That we all can be fucking stupid and act like children together still,
Without being afraid what others will think,
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have survived without y'all too,
And if I act shitty sometimes and like I'm busy sometimes,
But do remember that I'll always love y'all,
And cherish all my childhood that was spent with you,
Cuz it was the easiest and the happiest time of my life when I was with you.
So let's make a toast,
That no matter how shitty 2022 might get,
No matter how lonely or hard to survive it gets,
We will make it a memorable year,
To a happy crappy new year.
-s.b.
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