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detachedminxsfics · 1 year

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Spit Pt. III

Masterlist

Characters: Negan x Alexandrian F!Reader, Maggie, Gabriel, Lydia, Elijah, Marco, The Commonwealth

Summary: It'd be been months since the face-off with the reapers, the last time you saw Negan. A messenger arrives at Hilltop begging the group to help another community, and so you did. Much to your dismay, there's a familiar face you never thought you'd have to see again. Set in the events of S11 E13/14.

Word Count: 5.4K+

Warnings: NSFW - Fingering, oral (f!recieving), praise, elements of public play, mortal enemies, xtra DILFy S11 Negan

A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long to upload. I was just constantly unhappy with the pace or wording as this is one of the longest parts of Spit, and certainly the longest thing I've ever written. I also had to find a way to naturally develop but not ruin their dynamic, so I hope I did that! Thank you for all the love on this fic as always. <3

The sky was bright with oblivion, and the dead were not seen roaming as often today. This was what you'd call a good day, though the group grew smaller and smaller every week. You, Maggie, Lydia, Elijah and Marco were all that was left of Hilltop. Everybody else had succumbed to the fantasy of the commonwealth, aching to feel that sense of normality that we all so desperately wished to cling onto. But not everybody felt that way. Others, such as Maggie and yourself, knew these places were a great deal of trouble. One way or another something would go wrong, their cover would get blown, and the truth would start to surface. But that was the gamble of safety that they'd individually chosen to make, all of them. It'd been a few months since the face-off with the reapers, and the experience had made Maggie antsy. She was paranoid now, afraid of losing people, and would lash out when it came to the protection of others. You could understand this given the lack of loyalty in the way that everybody had slowly abandoned us and this place, barely enough of us were left to run it. It was hurtful, and she was on edge. So when Lydia set out to leave for the Commonwealth herself there were no hard feelings, but you were disappointed to see her go. You'd bonded with Lydia, spent time with her in which you'd confided in her the nature of your turbulent and not so labelled relationship with Negan. It was eating you up inside, hunching your back with what felt like the weight of the world on your shoulders for weeks after he left, and she listened to you without judgement. You didn't miss him per se, but you'd gotten used to his obscene presence, however irritating it may be. In the days after he left you'd thought a lot about how he would've just left without one word if you hadn't followed him into those woods, and Lydia sympathised with you on that too. When what was left of you returned to Alexandria she was heartbroken, Negan having left without so much as a word, and you consoled her. As she reached the gate you hurried over to her, calling out to her in order to attract her attention.

"Hey!"

Lydia spun round to face you, smiling when she saw you headed towards her with outstretched arms. She threw her arms around you welcoming the hug, and you laughed once you felt her tight hold on you. Lydia had teased before that you 'were like the big sister she never had', and so her departure would cause you a great deal of pain, but you just couldn't leave Maggie. Truthfully, you weren't sure she could take much more. So many lives had been lost, your people slaughtered by the reapers, that mission was one big mass grave. God, Alden was the only one who ever even got a proper burial.

"You be safe, and don't do anything I would do." You both pulled back from the hug to look at one another, and you raised your brows as you playfully insisted upon your point.

She laughed a little at your remark, and you both let go of one another. A few more solemn stares and she was gone, headed down the dirt path clutching her Commonwealth pamphlet. Then the unthinkable happened. Everybody drew their weapons wary of the approaching stranger swaying with feeble consciousness on horseback, and he was too far out for you to hear. Lydia approached him, and she was able to relay what had happened to the rest of you. Someone we knew had sent him, a fatally wounded message for us, and the map that we'd been given was now laid out on the table for all to see. The discussion of what should be the course of action was tumultuous to say the least, finally ending with all of you heading towards the direct source of trouble in a pickup truck. Maggie required some considerable convincing, nevertheless, you managed to sway her decision.

It sounded like hell itself. There was no way of ever anticipating that this is what you’d be walking into. As you moved through the building screams of anguish rang out from all over the place, wild gunfire sounding off periodically amidst all the ruckus. You and the others were moving through the halls as strategically as you could, doing your best to not be seen. While you could you still had the element of surprise, the upper hand of anonymity and being strange to this place. Eventually, Maggie nudged open the door to one of the rooms, the barrel of her gun protruding from the door at first, entering only after a brief survey of the room. She remained cautious as she entered, Aaron and yourself moving through the doorway afterwards and observing the room for any unwanted company. Something wasn’t right. Your intuition rang true when you heard the flick of the safety on someone’s gun, and it wasn’t any of yours. A gun appeared neatly pressed against Maggie’s back, the woman cowering behind her in an attempt to stop either you or Aaron from putting a bullet in her head, but Lydia and Elijah’s interference managed to tip the scales in your favour again. It was five against one. Some discussion had been had, even despite the gunpoint as Maggie attempted to reason with her. The conversation broke when another distant voice rang out from a separate room. A familiar one.

“Her name is Maggie.”

Negan turned the corner and came into view, startling everybody but yourself and Lydia. Negan had a way of doing that, putting people on edge solely on presence alone. His eyes met yours a moment too long when he saw you, but in the saddened sense. That was enough to make you tense. Through some smooth talk he was able to diffuse the situation, people hesitantly lowering their weapons and breaking the standoff. You wanted to say something, but you just stared at him like a deer in headlights. It was hard to even grasp that it was truly him, you really thought you’d never see him again.

“Hey, kiddo.” He spoke to Lydia as though he had never left, and you could gather by the hurt in her eyes that she didn’t appreciate it.

“What are you doing here?” Lydia replied, impartial to his presence.

That was the question. Although you feared Negan himself may have answered that the last time you saw him. Where trouble would be he would be, and here he was, knee-deep in the quicksand of trouble. So were you. He briefly glanced at you, and then pointedly wrapped his arm around the waist of the lady who’d held Maggie at gunpoint.

“We live here.” He added, the implication of ‘we’ speaking for itself.

Negan had a damn girlfriend. She looked the shallow type, and worse, she looked like something Negan might’ve had for a wife back in his reign of tyranny. There was a stench of irony.

After the awkward moment, Negan urged us to follow him into the next room through the disguise of a clothes rack concealing a hole in the wall, parting the clothing to allow everybody entry to the hidden space. Reluctantly we followed him into a room crammed full of people, including Gabriel. The celebratory hugging ensued with our group reunited and our morale strong, now it was about how we get out of here alive. The woman Negan was with had more than a few things to say. She wanted to go floor by floor, clearing and rescuing anybody who may be left trapped here. Maggie was irritated by this, you could tell, but she settled to go along with it regardless of her disapproval. Negan had tried to leave with his new squeeze in order to help them but she managed to convince him to stay, demanding Maggie go with her solo instead. Much to Maggie’s dismay, she followed after the strange lady without even allowing you to offer your help. It’d all happened so fast, and sure, your mind was occupied elsewhere. Without trying to raise suspicion you holstered your weapon and slipped into an empty room, desperately craving the loneliness and time with your thoughts in privacy. You were granted that for only a short while, the door you’d nudged closed creaking open and then closing again. Just by the weight and manner of the footsteps, you knew who it was, and he was the last person you wanted to see.

“What do you want?” You were sitting on the ledge of a windowsill, your eyes finding interest in the view from the glass.

Negan scoffed at your bluntness, taking steps toward you until he came to lean on the windowsill next to where you were sitting.

"That's all? Hi Negan, get lost Negan. That's all I get?" There was a faint presence of irritation in his tone, and you turned to face him with a vexed expression.

"What, were you expecting a hello kiss?" You taunted him for what he had said during your time in the woods together before, and the callback managed to crack a smile on his lips.

"Well if I did I'd be cheating, so I guess that's off the table." Though he was playful, you did not find it as amusing as him.

You lost interest all over again, turning to gaze out the window and wander back into your train of thought. Did it bother you? You assumed it was the hypocrisy that he in ruining someone else's life by murdering their partner sought his own, and he'd found one. Someone stupid enough to not see him for who he truly was. He observed you closely again, knowing he had little chance of getting through to you unless you were hitting him or fucking him, and only one of those was still possible. He laid his hand just above your knee, the touch pulling you from your haze to meet his eyes inquisitively.

"Look, how have you been? Just, give me something will you?" It was strange, but the amiable hint in his eyes told you he was reaching out.

But it also felt a hell of a lot like pity. You swatted his hand, and he snatched it back with a grumble of disappointment.

"What the hells wrong with you?" Negan sneered, and you felt that desire to hurt him again.

"How would your new girlfriend feel about you putting your hand on the girl you used to fuck, hm? Would she like it?" You spat bitterly, unsure where the true source of frustration had originated from.

Negan let out a long sigh, running his hand along his stubble as he did.

"Goddamn, will you keep it down?" He urged you to quiet down, to lower your voice when discussing the calamities between you and Negan.

It only encouraged you further, enjoying the look of adversity etched across his features.

"Or what? What are you gonna do about it Negan? You gonna fuck some sense into me again? Cause I don't think your girlfriend would like that."

Negan clenched his jaw, slightly squinting his eyes as he suppressed his anger.

"Her name is April." He spoke defensively, but did his best to level his tone.

"Like I give a shit about the name of your new toy?" You raised your voice, and the volume at which you spoke had Negan flinging himself towards you.

He clasped his hand against your mouth, your body rocking back to thud against the glass of the window. Your laboured breath fanned against the palm of his hand whilst your cold eyes burned holes into him, and he parted his lips to chide you.

"Be as angry with me as you damn well please, but not here. Not right now, with all those people in danger. They find us here just because of you running your pretty little mouth, and there'll be consequences." His voice became a husky, threatening whisper before he slightly lessened the pressure of his hand over your lips.

Negan stepped back whilst you glared back at him, narrowing your eyes with distaste as you breathed newly unobstructed air.

"Do you love her?" The words forced their way out of your mouth as your breathing evened out, but it felt good to say them.

Negan furrowed his brows, searching your features for any sort of falsity, but he only found imperceptible sincerity. It fell silent, and he moved from the centre of the room to standing directly opposite you, your knees pressing up against his hips with the closeness.

"What game are you playing?" He faintly cocked his head to the side with furrowed brows, deflecting your question by shifting the focus onto you.

You wouldn't let that slide.

"Answer me Negan, do you love her?" You were stubborn, and you were going to get an answer out of him whether he liked it or not.

Negan knew that too.

"I think I'd have to for me to be with her, wouldn't I?" Though faint you sensed the restraint in his voice, the hesitation with which he himself wasn't even entirely sure.

"Not necessarily." You said matter of factly with a lingering sense of perilous persistence.

Seizing the temptation of the opportunity you stretched your legs out and wrapped them around his waist, yanking him forward and leaving him captive to the enclosure of your legs. Your palms were flattened on the ledge at your sides, and your lower half had tipped over the edge a little from the force of drawing him in. Negan took a sharp breath inward as his clothed crotch was rammed directly against your groin, his hands instinctively coming up to rest on the sides of your thighs. It was like second nature, two fucked up puzzle pieces that just fit.

"Fuuck baby, your damn body's like a goddamn weapon." He drawled in a throaty whisper.

It was like your minds became riddled with one another again, totally taken up with the feel of the other person.

"I'll ask you again, do you love her?" You knew exactly what you were doing, entrapping him into admitting that he was doubtful as to the validity of his feelings.

He'd begun to strain against his jeans, a bulge forming that served as an answer in itself. Nevertheless, you thought you'd allow him to express it in his own words, to see if he would defy the way his body wanted you. Wanton with enticing him you rolled your hips a little, creating friction that had him squeezing his eyes shut and suppressing a groan. Negan's head lazily tipped forward a little, his forehead resting against yours.

"Shit, I don't know. I should, she's done nothing wrong. I don't know maybe something's missing." His breathing was irregular as he spoke gravelly confessions, his hands still gripping your thighs against him.

It was depraved, relishing in exposing the flaws of Negan's feelings for a woman you barely knew, but it felt so satisfying. The nights that followed after Negan's departure had been some of the strangest days you'd ever had. Alexandria was falling apart at the seams, and you weren't sure how much longer it would last. Occasionally you even caught yourself looking down into the barred window of Negan's old cell, pretending he was still down there, eyeing you up every morning as he had said. It brought a small smile to your face every morning just to reminisce over what he had admitted to you. You wanted to say something, maybe even share with him some of what you had felt in the weeks after the turmoil, but you couldn't. Instead, you lifted your head and smashed your lips against his, Negan wasting no time in returning the avid pace of your lips. It felt like the first time all over again but tinged with a subtle difference. You didn't want it to stop, didn't want to keep taking him in with small humble bites, you craved all of him. Greedily you ran your hands down his chest whilst he ran his tongue along your own, moaning into each other's mouths just from the mere contact again. One of his hands let go of your thigh and began to fumble with the button on your jeans, and your hand reached up to rest at the nape of his neck. You broke the kiss in need of air, loosening the pressure of your legs just enough for Negan to push the jeans down past your thighs, rolling them down until they rested against your calves. His fingers traced from your outer thigh to your groin, your head leaning back slightly when they came to run along your inner thigh, teasing the outer edge of your panties.

"Not gonna take your pants off?" You queried him through heavy breaths, and he grinned at you with an unnerving and diligent smirk.

"What with the way you cry and scream, and all those poor folks in the next room? Yeah, I don't think so."

He lifted his hand from the outer edge of your panties to fold all but his index and middle finger against his palm, pressing the pads of his fingertips against your bottom lip.

"Open your mouth." Negan demanded, and your lips parted ardently, his fingers pushing into your mouth as you close your lips around them.

You wet them with your tongue, Negan fixedly watching with half-lidded eyes whilst you sucked on them, earning a hum of approval. When they were wet enough he slipped them from your mouth, leaving a brief line of saliva stretching from one of his fingertips to your bottom lip. With considerable haste his fingers delved beneath the fabric of your panties, teasing your slick hole with his damp fingers. Tortorously, he had you waiting with bated breath. Negan looked over your body, a smile teasing at the corners of his mouth when he noticed your shirt.

"You're still wearing my shirt?" Negan teased, clearly revelling in the way you looked in it.

"Never go anywhere without it." You confessed, and he grinned at the thought of you having kept it all this time.

The sweetness of the moment was broken, however, the feelings of his fingers dipping in, sliding inside you with little to no resistance. Whimpers threatened to pass your lips, and so you bit down on them, stifling your sweet sounds as he began to pump his skilled digits back and forth inside you.

"Good girl." He praised you for the muffling of your noises, the pleasure he was inundating you with far outweighing your desire to challenge his touch.

It was filthy. Your friends, loved ones, and a whole cluster of strangers lie oblivious to the knowledge of Negan fucking you with his fingers in the next room, not to mention the window pressed up against your back, bound to give anyone who might look in one hell of a show. With the pace of his fingers fastening, getting deeper with every plunge, you began to struggle to suppress your noises. He sensed your efforts, your teeth dug into your lip so hard you were moments away from drawing blood, and pressed his mouth on yours. The moment he'd leaned forward you ceased biting your lip, welcoming his lips as it allowed you to breathe some of your whines into his mouth, and he groaned from the rather auditory outburst of your pleasure. He waited until your release began to build, your walls clenching his fingers, and then removed them. You broke the kiss to glower at him and he raised his brows, parting his lips to stop you from misinterpreting his sudden cease of action.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" You spoke harshly through gritted teeth.

"Hey hey, before you slap the shit out of me, just wait." Negan planted a brief kiss on your forehead in an attempt to dissuade you from being too furious with him.

With your eyes locked on one another, he lifted his fingers to his lips and briefly sucked your wetness from them, groaning as he did it. Though you wouldn't admit it the way Negan was treating you right now was incredibly attractive, the way he focused on you and what you needed, and did it expertly. After tasting you he slowly lowered to his knees, his hands gripping the inner side of your thighs and spreading your legs. With you wide open to him he traced one of his hands from your thigh to your panties, hooking his fingers in the material framing your hips and beginning to slide them down. With your palms flattened against the ledge, you used the stability to lift your body ever so slightly, providing the room he needed to ease your panties off. He pulled them down to your calves, removing both your jeans and your panties in one swift movement. You were totally exposed now, and still aching from your ruined orgasm. Wrapping his arms around your thighs to hold you in place Negan moved into the space between your legs, looking up at you with longing eyes.

"Keep it down, alright?" He reminded you sternly, his lips mere inches from where you needed him.

His tongue darted out, running along your folds. You stifled a gasp from the feeling of him licking you, fast and long strokes that had one of your hands scrambling to run your fingers through his hair, working your fingers through his slicked strands. Negan was humming his approval, sending vibrations throughout that already tempted you towards release. He was devouring you, yearning to feel you shaking on his tongue and curling your toes, the sounds of your hitched and restrained breaths as you tried not to scream from the pleasure he was giving you. Through the breathlessness and pure thrill of what the two of you were doing, you were sure you were seeing stars, one hand gripping the edge of the windowsill while the other used your grip on his hair to guide him, rocking against his tongue and chasing your own release. With one final quick swipe of his tongue your whole body began to quiver, a fluttering sensation in your abdomen that had you clasping your hand over your mouth and whimpering muffled cries of pleasure into your palm. Negan continued to lick you through your orgasm, lapping up your arousal and only prolonging the unbearable sensations that made you sensitive to the most gentle of touch. You used the hand you'd tangled in his strands to yank his greedy mouth back from the space between your inner thighs, and it was now that he could see how much you were struggling to physically suppress the vocalisation of your orgasm. Negan rose to his feet, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest to ease you through the aftershocks, hushing you through your unsteady breathlessness.

"I got you, baby, I got you. You were so good." He ran his fingers through your hair as you buried your face in the fabric of his shirt, the adrenaline gradually subsiding.

"Negan?" Your voice was muffled against the denim of his jacket, but he could make out what you were saying well enough.

"Yeah?" He replied, patiently awaiting your response.

The words were rising in your throat, like the feeling of vomit threatening to fill your mouth, it was unsavoury, to say the least. The fact that you didn't have to stare at his face while you worked up the courage to be honest with him made it a whole lot easier, and you parted your lips to speak against the material.

"I think I missed you."

Everything fell silent, the air itself stilling and allowing you to truly feel the weight of your words, even his hand had halted its stroking of your hair. When you received no response you carefully lifted your head from his chest, frightened by the possibilities of what you may be met with, all but this one. A smile was creeping onto his lips, a sincere one that had him parting his lips to return the sentiment, but he never got the chance to speak. Knocks thudded against the door, and you jumped immediately startled by the unexpected sound. In a frenzy you hopped from the ledge, the epinephrine coursing through you allowing you to stand on your unreliable footing. You scrambled to pull your panties up your legs, your pants following shortly thereafter whilst the voice of Aaron explained himself from the other side of the door.

"Negan, can you come out here? Maggie's on radio." His voice didn't sound all that enthusiastic, and the sudden communication from Maggie couldn't have been a good sign.

This was bad. Negan smoothed his hands through the mess you'd made of his hair, roughly slicking it back into place whilst you got dressed with an impossible haste you hadn't even thought yourself capable of. Negan walked to the door, his fingers resting over the handle as he turned back to check whether you were presentable again or not. Seeing you fully clothed and somewhat composed he gave you time to approach the door, your hand coming down to press on the back of his as he attempted to turn the handle, halting him. Inquisitively he watched you, curious as to the reason for the delay. With devious intentions, you leaned forward and pressed your lips against his, a brief kiss in which you tasted yourself on his mouth. Not meaning for it to be too long you broke it, your face still relatively close to his when he turned the handle and pushed the door open without warning. You immediately stepped back from him, putting distance between one another and attempting to avoid any suspicions. Negan sauntered out from the doorway, and you followed after. The atmosphere of the room seemed to have sunk more than it already had when you first arrived, and Aaron passed the radio over to Negan with a vaguely sympathetic stare.

Negan pushed the button on the radio, lifting it to his face as he spoke into it.

"I'm here Maggie."

There was a small pause between his words and Maggie's response, and you were beginning to feel as though that wasn't solely technological.

"She's gone, Negan. They came out of nowhere, there was nothing I could do. But your people are safe now." Maggie's voice rang through the cluttered speaker, and Negan's face fell.

Sure, he hadn't loved her as much as he thought, but it didn't stop it from hurting. You didn't know her well enough, but she would've held personal qualities that Negan found desirable, and for all you knew they had spent all this time together since you last saw him. Awkwardly you glanced at one another, not regretfully, but knowingly. It was cruel really. April died loving him, whilst Negan was too busy knuckle-deep in the person who wanted to tear his head off. It was disturbingly poetic. His eyes averted towards the ground, his thumb pressing against the button to radio his response.

"I'll be right down." The crackle of the radio signified the end of his message, and he slowly offered it back to Aaron.

No one really knew how to sympathise with Negan, for he never grieved the deaths he himself had caused us, so why should we his? But at the very least Aaron feigned some sort of sympathy, and you perceived Gabriel's to be far less false. But your own? Honestly, you weren't quite sure. With the commonwealth troops now dealt with, the building quiet with the aftermath of a war, the group made their way down to the first floor. As it turns out Negan had made a detour before he came to find you in the separate room, a rather important one. Hershel had snuck in the back of the pickup truck we'd arrived in, and Negan saved him from the soldier who had found him and brought him inside. He'd been able to radio through to Maggie just prior to his time with you, to let her know that he was safe and sound. You knew that she'd be grateful for that, though obviously unnerved at the thought of Hershel's life lying in Negan's hands of all people. Whilst everybody you knew huddled together and began to devise a plan of how to hide these people from the vengeance of the commonwealth Negan bundled the lifeless April into his arms, making his way outside with her. You didn't feel particularly up to speaking with anybody you knew right now, the guilt of what you had done weighing down on you, and so you followed him. You silently accompanied him throughout everything. Stood at his side whilst he carefully pushed a knife into the side of her temple to stop her from turning, the crunch of bone as the blade pushed through her skull. Even as he shovelled the hole, lowering her down into the ground before he stood to his feet and began shovelling dirt back on top. Speaking didn't feel appropriate, and you wouldn't unless he prompted you to. It was only when he was tying the twine, fashioning a makeshift cross with two sticks with the means to mark her grave, he spoke to you.

"Stay with me." His back was facing you, kneeling to the ground as he secured the cross best he could.

Having gone so long without one word you weren't sure whether you had imagined it or not at first, but given the way he paused what he was doing as you heard it, he must have.

"What?" That was all the response you could muster whilst Negan pushed the stick into the dirt.

He paused for a moment as he adjusted the cross, and then stood to his feet.

"There just isn't enough time for this shit. Not in this world. I'm standing over the grave of a woman that loved me for christ's sake. Someday, hell even tomorrow that could be you or me, and I'm not burying you." His words were undeviating, and the bluntness of them had you reeling at the mere thought of what you would say.

Negan sensed how much he had overwhelmed you, sighing as he only continued further.

"Look all I'm saying is you don't gotta look at me like you're gonna gouge my fucking eyes out a few minutes after we mess around with each other like nothing else matters."

"Okay." Your fast and snappy response had Negan raising his brows.

Truthfully, though you'd have hoped to never have to feel this way, some deranged attachment with Negan had occurred. You despised him as much as Maggie, opposed to all his past actions and would never innately forgive him for the slaughter of your friends. But when he touched you, ran his hands over your bare skin with such care, the kisses he'd litter while he fucked you into oblivion and made you feel like the most beautiful thing in the world, you couldn't get enough of it. And sure, there was a thrill element due to the rather secretive nature of the dynamic.

"I don't forgive you Negan, and I know you don't want my forgiveness, but I just need you to know where you stand." You thought you'd level the playing field, and the honesty had Negan smiling a little.

"Loud and clear, baby."

There would be no way of this ever working, of course, no sort of stability or romance to be had, and you couldn't allow so much as the faintest idea that you were sleeping with the enemy to get back to Maggie. Without a doubt, she'd kill you. It was time to head inside, to learn of the plans that the others had devised while you were outside with Negan, so you started to walk. Instead of heading straight towards the building you stopped in front of him first, leaning forward and whispering into his ear softly.

"I like you better when your mouth's busy."

He chuckled a little, locking impish eyes with you as you leaned back to look at him. Your gaze lingered for a moment, intensely sultry and unspoken eye contact that hardly needed much interpretation. After a beat passed you turned on your heel and headed back to the others, Negan trailing after you a few moments later. As opposed to the last time you saw him there was an obvious change.

You left together.

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tropes-and-tales · 1 year

Text

Angels in Disguise, Part III

CW: Heavy angst; talk of serious injuries and death; talk of suicide, trauma, and PTSD. 18+ only to be safe.

Word Count: 1778

AN: Part of a miniseries. Other pieces can be found here.

It takes him so long to wake up. Benny has been seriously hurt, and after the surgeries to save his life, he stays in a coma for a while. One week, then a second.

He wakes, but he exists in a grey liminal space. He drifts in and out like the tide, but even when he’s awake, he’s not entirely there. Time passes in a flash. The sun zips across the sky in a single blink.

Blink, and it’s morning, the weak dawn light making his window rosy around the edges of the blinds.

Blink, and it’s the dead of night, the quiet hush of the ICU, the squeak of nurses’ sneakers on the tiled floor.

Blink, and he wakes with his mother dozing in the chair beside him, his hand held loosely in her own.

Blink, and he wakes up alone.

Everything is slippery: time, his thoughts. He forgets when he is, where he is. He only knows two things for certain—who he is, and the fact that he’s been terribly hurt. That he teetered so close to death that the black yawning nothingness when he falls asleep feels perilous.

But as the doctors dial down the pain medication, and as his senses roar back to life, he remembers a third certain thing.

He remembers the woman who saved him. The woman who eclipsed the sun as he lay bleeding out in the street. The woman who held his life in her hands, who held back the outgoing tide of his blood in the middle of a war zone.

He wakes one afternoon and remembers you. He turns his head and sees his mother sitting there, reading a paperback novel.

“Where is she?” he croaks, and his sudden words startle his mother.

“Who?” she asks. She sets her book down, pulls her chair closer. She smooths her hand over his forehead, and he feels like a little boy again—sick in bed, her cool hand soothing him.

“The woman,” he manages to say through his dry throat. “The woman who saved my life.”

-----

No one seems to know about you.

Benny’s family knows nothing about the woman who saved his life. Henderson and Z visit, and they know nothing either. They only know that he had been shot, but Henderson had pursued Merrimen with Big Nick that day. Zapata had been hit too, in the knee, and hadn’t been there for Benny’s rescue.

No one knows anything.

Recovery takes forever. His wounds heal slowly, then he needs PT to regain his strength, his stamina. He shifts from the ICU to the regular part of the hospital, then he’s released with orders to continue PT.

That’s just the physical side. Benny’s head is a mess.

He knows, theoretically, what PTSD is. He maybe even had it before that day: police work is miserable, and Major Crimes sees the worst sort of shit. He never slept all that well before, and he used alcohol and weed to cope.

This? This is something else entirely.

His sleep is thin and restless. He’s irritable. Loud noises make him jittery which…he lives in an apartment in Los Angeles. Loud noises are the norm.

Moments from that afternoon flash across his eyes, vivid memories that spark against his senses. The scent of spilled gasoline from a bullet-punctured gas tank. The scent of gunpowder. The iron scent of blood—his own.

The woman is in those vivid memories, and that is what keeps him semi-sane in the month after he is released from the hospital. For every flashback that leaves his mouth dry and his palms slick with sweat, there’s the memory of you: your beautiful face taut with worry, your steady hands keeping him alive.

-----

Benny uses up his sick time then is forced to take a medical retirement. His leg injury is significant, and no doctor will clear him to return to work. He gets half of his pension early, and that’s enough to live if he’s thrifty.

Benny Magalon has always been defined by his role as a detective. He never married or had kids. His friends are largely fellow cops. Without that, he drifts. He’s unmoored.

Another month passes. He’s basically a recluse. He skips his PT appointments, gets his groceries delivered. The wide blue sky feels perilous to him, so he only goes out at night if he has to.

He’s on a slippery slope. He knows it, but he seems powerless to stop it. Poor sleep, poor eating habits, too much drinking. He loses weight but gets the soft, rounded face of a regular drinker. His hands shake too much. His family checks in on him—his mother makes it a rule to stop by once a week with a home-cooked meal—but he’s mostly alone.

He knows better than most that this is what kills cops: not always a well-placed bullet from a bad guy, but the ugly mundaneness of everyday living after a tragedy. The whispering voice in the dark hours of early morning, asking him if it’d be easier to just end it. He turned in his service piece, but he still has his own gun. It’d be so easy to—

He pushes the thought aside. He remembers his last glimpse of you: kneeling in the street, covered in his blood. You suffered to save his life. He can’t make it be worth nothing now.

-----

It’s Connors that gets him back on track. He stops by one evening, unannounced, with a six-pack and a pizza.

And a thin folder that he slides across the table to Benny as they eat.

“I looked into your mystery woman,” he says as he swipes at his mouth with a napkin. “Honestly, I didn’t even think she existed. Thought you had some near-death hallucination of…shit, I dunno. Your grandma or something.”

Benny lifts his eyebrows. “What changed your mind?”

“Talked to one of the EMTs. He confirmed her existence.”

Benny feels his heart in his throat. He traces his finger around the edge of the folder. “And?”

“And, I did a little digging. Detective-work. Remember that? So, a lot of the cars in that traffic snarl were abandoned during the shoot-out. People got out and ran. The entire street was a crime scene, and as they cleared it, the cars were towed.”

“Okay…”

“Towed cars were taken to three different impound lots. Two of ‘em kept good records of who picked up the cars and when. No woman matching your description came through there looking for their missing red sedan.”

“And the third lot?”

Connors takes a sip of his beer. “Kept less than stellar records.” A beat, and Benny’s heart is thudding so heavy in his chest that he almost misses the next sentence out of Connors’s mouth.

“No woman came through there either, though. Because the red sedan is still there.” He reaches out and taps the folder. “She hasn’t claimed it yet. I got her information from her tags, and I went through the car too. She’s a vet, did you know?”

Benny nods. “Yeah. Well, I mean, I remember her wearing scrubs. I thought she might be a nurse.”

Connors takes another sip of beer. “It’s a good thing she got out of her car too. I looked it over. There was a pair of bullet holes right through the windshield. Driver’s side. Slugs are buried in the headrest. Woulda killed her, instant.”

So many emotions at once: your name is right inside the folder. Your address. Where you work. But….

“She hasn’t gotten her car back?” Benny asks, confused. “Why? It’s been months.”

“Good news, bad new, bubba,” Connors replies. “Good news is, I found her. She has family in L.A. I went and paid her parents a visit to see what was up.”

Benny swallows hard. “What’s the bad news?”

The man’s face twists into a wince. “Her parents said she kinda fell apart after that day. There’s no easy way to say it, but she tried to off herself a few weeks afterwards. Pills, I guess.”

“Fuck. Fuck. Are you serious?”

Connors nods.

Benny sits back in his chair. Slumps. Why didn’t he ever consider that as a possibility? In his mind, he thought the worst thing you’d experience was the shock of that moment. Maybe some lingering nightmares. Maybe a stronger startle reflex when a car backfires or a door slams.

Suicide, though?

He sorts back through his memories of that day. The memory of your face peering down at him, the memory of the feeling of your wrist when he managed to grab it and squeeze it. He lays this new fact of your suicide attempt over those memories, and suddenly it seems obvious, the dark shadow that has engulfed you.

Hasn’t it consumed him too? Hasn’t his tired, tortured mind drifted to the comforting weight of his gun? Hasn’t he been tempted by the thought of going to sleep and not waking up?

“Fuck,” he says softly.

“Good news, bad news, good news,” Connors amends from earlier. “Her parents said she’s in some in-patient program.”

“That is good.”

The other man nods. “Yeah. They said they’d be willing to talk to you, if you want. They thought she might be up for meeting you once she’s released. Thought it might do her some good. Help her recovery and all that.”

The feeling that washes over Benny…it’s an echo from that day. Madness, then, and madness now. He was dying that day, but he remembers the wild thought that you were the woman he’d been waiting for all his life. He’d felt an undeniable link to you, sudden and strong, and in the months since then, he chalked it up to whatever synapses had been wildly firing as his brain flailed against his dying body.

But even now, sitting in his kitchen across from Connors, he feels exactly the same. The same kinship that runs deeper than just two people who survived a traumatic event together. He feels that same link to you. He’s never been the sort of man to believe in any of that shit—coincidences happen all the time—but this still feels like fate.

Fate that you were there that day. Fate that he was shot and you were there to save him.

Fate that as he was waking up from his coma, as he was rejoining the world, you were trying to leave it.

Fate that he has been sitting in his apartment, struggling the exact same way as you have been struggling.

Fate that as you saved him that day, he wants to save you now.

#benny magalon #borracho magalon #benny magalon x reader #benny magalon imagine #borracho magalon imagine #borracho magalon x reader #den of thieves #tropes and tales

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barakittens517 · 2 years

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PT II: The Finding

Summary: In which Ellis makes some friends! (kinda)

PT 1: The Lost PT III: The Reunion

Words: 3,851

Warnings: mentions of alcohol use, minor (slightly graphic) character death, minor religious themes

Pairing: Morpheus x gender neutral reader

Notes: Gifting a wayyy longer second part because I really want to get to the good shit!!! I'm kidding, but I promise this is going somewhere good (:

Tag List: @ponyboys-sunsets

Now you were awake, at a truck stop far from anywhere you’d been before. Your homicidal companion was preoccupied with one of the driver’s side wheels, and he couldn’t see you.

Now… Now’s your chance.

You hop over the car door and sling your backpack over your shoulder. You practically sprint towards the gas station, hoping and praying he won’t look up.

You make a beeline towards the middle aisle to hide behind the displays. So far, so good. You pretend to be fixated on the snacks, but you keep peeking over the aisle to make sure Rin is still outside.

“You findin’ everything all right?” a gruff voice asks from behind you. You jump at the sudden noise.

“Y-yeah, I think so,” you stutter. “Can’t decide between a Snickers and a Reese’s cup.”

The gas station attendant behind you chuckles. “That’s a tough one. My vote would be for the peanut butter.”

You offer a nervous smile and meet the attendant’s eyes. He’s older, likely in his fifties, with graying sideburns and a scuffed baseball hat with St. John’s Outfield Angels stitched on the front. The nametag on his collared shirt reads Ryan.

“Thank you, Ryan,” you say.

“Not a problem,” he replies. He tilts his head to the side as your eyes meet, and the strange look that follows makes your stomach flip. In less than a moment his friendly demeanor drops, and he falls to his knees in front of you with tears in his eyes.

“Jesus Christ!” you exclaim. His hands are clasped in prayer, and he’s rocking back and forth, muttering something under his breath. “Are you okay?” you ask. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see a man in a cream-colored jacket heading for the front doors.

Shit.

“Um, Ryan?” you ask. “Should I call an ambulance?” You crouch down as the bell on the front door rings out. Rin is here. You place a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, and he looks up at you.

“... Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Mea culpa, mea culpa, oh God, get away from me!” he yells. You wrench your hand to your chest and fall backwards to the floor. You can see Rin watching with the ghost of a smile on his face.

Ryan starts sobbing in earnest now, pressing his palms into his eyes. “I’ve been a terrible man, a sinner and a liar an-and, oh, God forgive me, I am my father’s son!” he wails. You’re terrified, seemingly frozen in place less than a foot from him.

He looks up at you, eyes rimmed red, and that strange look returns. “Forgive me,” he whispers, so quiet you have to lean forward to hear him. At that moment he rips the ball point pen clipped to his pocket and clicks it open. “You have to forgive me,” he pleads, then plunges the tip into his neck.

“No!” you shriek, but it’s too late already. He’s hit a major artery, and he’s dead before his head even hits the tile. For the second time in twenty-four hours, you are covered in someone else’s blood.

Rin applauds from the front counter. “You know, I was wondering about you, Ellis. Thinking you might try and run like this, but now? Now, I think we’ll get along just fine.”

You wipe the blood from your cheek and try to remember what breathing feels like. “What… the fuck,” you whisper, and now the tears won’t stop streaming.

Living as long as you have was never this brutal. You avoided most confrontations. The only pain inflicted was on you, never anyone else.

Rin steps over the body in front of you and grabs your hand to pull you up. “I had a feeling about you. Come on, let’s, uh… let’s get you out of here.” You follow him blindly to the front of the store. “Go get in the car. I’m gonna grab a couple of things and I’ll follow you out,” he says, holding the door open.

You walk silently to the convertible and slink down into one of the seats. You unwrap Rin’s kerchief to wipe the blood off of your hands and find two disembodied eyeballs staring back at you from the cupholder.

What the fuck.

The alarm bells ringing in your head are muted by the general dissociation you feel. You’re still holding the now-half-melted peanut butter cups in your hand.

You’re startled by the slam of the car door. Rin is holding out a blue Gatorade.

“Here,” he says. “It’s gonna be a long drive, and we have a lot of catching up to do.”

You take a sip and choke- it’s definitely blue Gatorade, but it’s also definitely mixed with some kind of liquor. “We do?”

He grins as he starts the car and pulls onto the highway. “We do.”

You take longer sips of the Gatorade as he drives, grateful for the hydration and the alcohol. The panic you constantly felt is starting to wear off, enough for you to start questioning everything about your seemingly pointless existence.

“You seem to know a lot about what’s going on,” you start. “Who even are you?”

“You really wanna know?” he asks. You nod. “Well, let’s start with you. Ellis. Something tells me you’ve been passing through a lot of towns in your time.”

You recall your brief conversation at the bar, if you could even call it that. You sigh. “Um… yeah. I don’t- I guess I don’t remember where I started. It’s just been… a lot of years. Like… I don't know. I don’t really keep track anymore.”

Rin nods. You take another sip of the Gatorade, now half gone. The buzz is making you braver.

“I don’t die,” you say out loud, and the thought startles you. “I never have.” You think back as far as you can, just before the beginning. You were younger, but you looked the same. You always looked the same.

“Do you dream?” Rin asks. The idea of dreaming catches you off guard. You rarely sleep, and when you do, it’s never more than a couple hours.

“No,” you answer.

“What’s the earliest memory you have?” he asks.

You shrug. “Somewhere… there was a big war. In Europe. The first one,” you clarify.

“And you’ve always been by yourself?” he asks.

You think hard but come up blank. “I guess I don’t know. I think so. It’s all… blank.” He nods. You take another sip of Gatorade and grimace at the burn of liquor going down your throat. “What about you? Do you know me, or something?” you ask.

Rin smiles. “Know of you, maybe. I imagine we must’ve left around the same time.”

“Left where?” you ask.

“The Dreaming, Ellis. I left when the Creator abandoned it. Abandoned us.” The distinct malice in his tone makes you shiver.

“I’m sorry, the Creator? You mean, like, God?” You hadn’t thought about God in over a century. He didn’t seem to care much for you.

Rin laughs. “No, worse. Much worse. His name is Morpheus.”

Your head is spinning trying to follow his story. “So… so, what? What does he create?”

For the first time, Rin removes his sunglasses. Two mouths with perfectly white rows of teeth smile from his eye sockets.

“Jesus Christ,” you whisper under your breath. He smiles.

“He creates dreams,” Rin answers, “And nightmares. I suppose you don’t have to guess what that makes me.” A moment later, he replaces his glasses. You both sit in silence for a moment. “Make sense so far?” he asks.

“Y-yeah,” you stutter. “I think so.”

“He called me The Corinthian,” he says.

You nod. “Guess the name you told me wasn’t too far off,” you say. “I would’ve gone with Ian, I think.”

The Corinthian laughs. “I’ll take that into consideration next time.”

All things considered, you feel better. Lighter. The Corinthian isn’t going to kill you. You’ve been reassured about your existence- of course you never felt like you belonged. You don’t. Whatever the Dreaming is, that’s where you’re supposed to be.

You just don’t remember how you got here.

Or what that makes you.

You cross the state lines into Georgia quicker than you’d expected. The Corinthian drives like a bat out of hell, but you haven’t seen a single cop in hundreds of miles. You haven’t seen much of anyone, to be honest. And you’re grateful, in a sense. The last person that saw you stuck a Bic in his carotid.

The thought still makes you ill, a feeling even the liquor won’t help. The Corinthian pulls into a hotel parking lot and parks off to the side.

“Alright, so here’s the deal,” he starts. “I have a job to do.”

“Rose Walker,” you say. He nods.

“Now, I have reliable information that places her brother somewhere-” he motions to the highway going east- “around here. I intend to find him.”

“So you’re… dropping me off?” you ask. You didn’t usually stay at hotels, and you definitely weren’t looking forward to interacting with other people any time soon. You’d almost hoped the Corinthian would just take you with him, wherever he was going.

He nods. “There’s gonna be a convention here, the day after tomorrow. I’ll be back then, and I’ll have her little brother with me.” He holds his hand up to stop you from interrupting him. “Now, I understand there’s a lot you don’t know. That’s fine. You’ve been helpful up till now, so I’m willing to help you out. There’s already been rooms booked for me. You just hang out, and don’t cause too much trouble, and we’ll all be home free by the end of the week.”

You have so. Many. Questions. “A convention?”

The Corinthian grins proudly. “I’m their guest of honor. Get to make a speech and everything. Now, that room’s booked under ‘The Corinthian’. They’re, uh... They’re big fans of my work. You just tell ‘em you’re with me.”

“Okay.” You shift in the leather seat, unbuckling the belt to grab your backpack. “So I just… wait? And then what?”

His expression darkens. “I’ll take care of the rest. Just… stay in the room, okay? We don’t need you making anyone else off themselves with office supplies.” It’s a joke, but it stings. You force a smile anyways.

“No problem.” You slam the door closed- probably a little too forcefully, and start towards the front doors. The Corinthian leans out the window.

“Here!” he shouts, tossing a pair of black aviators at you. You hold them up and wave as he burns out onto the highway.

The pit in your stomach is growing, but you try not to think about it. Instead, you put the sunglasses on and try to focus on the convention decorations.

A red banner reads WELCOME CEREAL CONVENTION in bold red letters. You briefly wonder what in the fuck that actually means.

Inside, you find a line of people waiting to check in. The ones who already have are wearing name tags like The Choir Boy and The Good Doctor. As much as you want to know more, you remember the Corinthian’s warning. You’re supposed to stay in the room.

Minutes later, you reach the front desk. A very large man in cat ears is sitting behind it, propping up a clipboard on his stomach. “Name?” he asks.

“I’m, uh, I’m with the Corinthian,” you say. His name tag says Fun Land.

He looks down at his clipboard, then back at you, annoyed. “You’re not The Corinthian,” he states plainly.

“I know, I said I’m with him,” you repeat. Fun Land sighs.

“Fine, fine, whatever.” He rolls his eyes and crosses off a name on the clipboard. “Guest of honor gets free reign, I guess.” He hands you a lanyard with The Corinthian +1* scratched into the label and a room key with a number.

“Thank you,” you say.

“Yep,” Fun Land replies, looking over your shoulder towards the man behind you. “Next!”

You make your way upstairs and find your room. It’s a fancy suite- you assume presidential. Something about the Corinthian tells you he wouldn’t have it any other way.

You hang around for a bit, watching the cable channels on the TV until your stomach starts rumbling. You hadn’t really thought to pack food. You don’t want to risk adding to the Corinthian’s bill (if he was even going to be the one paying), but you do have cash. And there is a bar downstairs.

Without a second thought, you grab a handful of bills and stuff them into your front pocket. You take your name tag and the room key with you. You make your way downstairs to the hotel bar and pick a stool farthest from the door, away from most people.

They’re all grouped together like schools of fish, name tags proudly displayed. None of them make sense to you, but you’re glad you have yours.

You order two vodka lemonades and a platter of mozzarella sticks. The drinks are strong and the mozzarella sticks are piping hot. You’re done with the platter and both drinks before you even realize it.

The alcohol is kicking in, and you feel calmer about the situation you’re in. Normally you’d be panicking, surrounded by strange people, wearing sunglasses indoors in case you accidentally cause a suicide. Now you’re still panicking, but in a manageable sense. The panic is relegated to a small voice echoing in the very back of your mind. You sit up a little straighter as you order another drink.

One of the ladies from the smaller group breaks away and heads towards you, waving. “You’re with the Corinthian, I see,” she smiles. Her name tag reads Dark Angel.

“Yes,” you answer, “I got here a little early.”

“Are you a fellow collector?” she asks, eyebrows raised.

“Absolutely,” you answer without hesitation. You have no idea what you’ve just agreed with, or what a collector does. You’re assuming it is not, as the sign would have you think, about cereal.

She grins. “That’s fantastic news. Now, you certainly don’t need to make a speech or anything, but you’re more than welcome to join the conference activities. We’re holding several workshops over the next couple of days, and I’m hosting the panel tonight.” She motions to the bartender. “Anything they order, put it on my tab.” She touches your shoulder and winks before rejoining her group.

Was she… flirting with you?

Regardless, you take her up on the offer and order two more vodka lemonades and a basket of chicken wings. It’s basically dinner, right? The bartender hands you a pre-mixed bottle the size of a pint of whiskey.

Once the basket of chicken wings is gone, you decide it’s time to head to bed. You mentally pat yourself on the back for causing no harm, even though you didn’t listen to the Corinthian entirely. Besides, it’s not like he’s going to find out.

You take the bottle of vodka lemonade with you, giving the bartender a nod of thanks for the life hack. Why order a bunch of little drinks when you could carry a whole portable bottle of them? You stumble into the carpeted hallway and hear Dark Angel’s voice coming from a conference room off to the left.

You peek in the doorway. There’s a crowded auditorium. It looks like she’s giving a TEDTalk of some sort. Huh.

You sneak into the back of the room- only for a moment, you tell yourself. Just to see what the convention’s about.

“I see a lot of old faces in this crowd, and a lot of new ones,” Dark Angel says. She winks at you from the stage, and you raise your bottle to her. She smiles. “I’m glad we could all make it this year. Aside from The Family Man, of course, but that’s no bother.”

You zone out for a moment to take a look at the people seated around you. Something about them makes you incredibly uncomfortable. They’re hanging on every word she says. Some even have pens and pads of paper to take notes.

“This… business that we’re in, it’s hard work, isn’t it?” Dark Angel asks. The crowd murmurs in agreement. “We don’t get a lot of acknowledgement for our successes. However, I’m hoping to change that in the near future. Considering our remarkable turnout, I’ve been talking with Nimrod.” She gestures towards a shorter man seated in the front, wearing large glasses. He smiles nervously at her acknowledgement.

“The organizers of the convention have been talking, and we’d like to introduce a cash prize for one very special collector each year.” You perk up at the mention of money. You wouldn’t mind winning, granted, you’re not even sure what winning looks like.

Dark Angel smiles. “Now, this would be completely voluntary. Anyone wanting to sign up would need to cough up $30 to be considered in the running. Does that sound fair?” she asks. The crowd nods in unison.

“Now, I understand we all have our motivations for collecting. Nimrod and I thought this would add a bit of fun into the mix. There will be many opportunities to sign up over the next few days, and the winner will be announced at next year’s convention. Any questions so far?”

A man in the third row, dressed in a three-piece suit and hat, raises his hand. “How is the winner decided?” he asks.

Dark Angel nods. “Good question. The organizers of the convention and a few volunteers will need to keep record of those who sign up. They’ll watch for relevant news in the next year. A collection that makes headlines will be worth the most points. And, of course, you’ll want to keep track of your own. Next year, we’ll collaborate with all participants and tally up scores. The first winner will be announced by the guest speaker.”

“What if we don’t make the news?” someone shouts.

Dark Angel shrugs. “Then you’re not a very good collector, are you?” The crowd ‘oohs’ in response.

You take another sip of your drink. They’re definitely not talking about fucking Cocoa Puffs, that’s for sure.

“Before we move on, some final notes. The last day for a body to qualify will be a week before the convention. No last-minute points will be counted, especially near or on convention grounds. We don’t shit where we eat, right?” She pauses for maximum effect. You start to feel sick again, and not because of the vodka. Something is seriously wrong here.

“With that out of the way, I’d like to invite our panel members on stage. Please welcome Scratch, Highlander, Uncle Charlie, and our youngest member to date, FUBAR!” Four men take their seats behind the table on stage.

“Uncle Charlie and Scratch are two of our oldest members. FUBAR and Highlander are two of our newest. Now, I’ll be moderating questions and moving the discussion along, but the rest I will leave up to the four of you. Let’s start with an easy one. What inspired you to begin collecting?” Dark Angel asks.

FUBAR answers first, proudly motioning to the American flag pin on his jacket. “I joined the military out of high school, and let me just say, they let you do anything once you’re off base. They’re basically giving you step-by-step instructions on how to get away with murder. And I’m good at it! Why would being discharged stop me?”

“A war machine making war machines,” Dark Angel comments wistfully. “What about you, Scratch?”

Scratch is a middle-aged man wearing a stained tank top and cargo shorts. His steel-toe construction boots stick out like clown shoes under the table. His arms and legs are covered in cuts and scrapes in various stages of healing.

“Well, shit,” he starts, “I never did get professional training. S’mostly just compulsion, I guess. Can’t fuckin’ stand the girlies… Only way to shut ‘em up is tearin’ their throats out, apparently!” Scratch guffaws, and the crowd laughs.

Okay, now you’re going to throw up. It’s no wonder The Corinthian is the guest speaker- you literally met him in the middle of killing someone. Your blood runs cold. Every person in this room has killed. Even you, come to think of it.

You stumble blindly out of the auditorium and immediately throw up in a large potted plant beside the door. You need to get back to your room, like now.

“Rough night?” someone behind you asks. You turn and see a younger guy with long black hair staring at the plant in front of you. His name tag reads Blade Runner. You don’t really want to know why.

“Yeah,” you reply weakly. He reaches for your hand and pulls you up to stand next to him. “I should probably just go to bed.”

Blade Runner doesn’t let go of your arm. “You know, I’ve got just the thing to sober you up. In my room, of course.” He smiles, revealing a row of impossibly sharp teeth. He pulls you closer to himself and you both make your way towards the elevator. “Now, don’t go causing trouble for me, please.”

“O-okay,” you whisper. The ride up is silent, save for the stereotypically quiet elevator jazz in the background. You briefly consider pressing the alarm button, but assume Blade should be considered armed and dangerous.

When the doors open on the fourth floor, he shoves you roughly into the hallway. Your vodka sloshes onto the carpet.

“I’m in 1419,” he says, and you follow the room numbers down to the last door on the right. Your entire body is screaming to make a run for it, but you’re both intoxicated and unarmed. Like an idiot.

The walls are covered in old black and white photos, pinned with notes attached to each of them. You recognize some of the convention members. He’s been keeping track of them, stalking them.

“Impressed?” You hear him behind you, but it’s too late. Excruciating pain radiates from the crown of your skull, and then nothing.

For the first time in over a century, you dream. Well, not really. But for once it’s not just black.

You’re in a landscape of black sand, with mountains lining the horizon. Enormous ivory gates rise up in front of you, carved with details you do not understand.

You nervously walk forward, placing your hands to push them open. The doors creak ominously, but do not move.

“Hello?” you shout. “Is somebody there?”

Silence.

“Where the fuck am I…” you mutter, stepping back to analyze the carvings.

You’ve returned, a voice echoes around you.

“I’ve never been here before,” you reply. “I don’t know what this is.”

The ground begins to rumble beneath you. The gates are shaking now, almost vibrating. You can see a sliver of sky between them as they open.

A shadowy, black figure is standing on the other side. You get the feeling you should already know who they are, but your brain simply won’t place the name.

You will remember.

#the sandman #Morpheus #Dream of the Endless #Morpheus x reader #Dream x gn! reader #The Corinthian #netflix sandman

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manwalksintobar · 6 months

Text

White Shroud (pt III) // Allen Ginsberg

My years of haunting continental city streets, apartment dreams, old rooms I used to live in, still paid rent for, homeless keys didn't work, locks changed, immigre families occupied my familiar hallway lodgings - I wandered downhill avenues lost, money gone, I'd come back home - I couldn't recognize houses in London, Paris, Bronx, by Columbia library, downtown 8th Avenue near Chelsea Subway - Those years unsettled - were over now, here I could live forever, here have a home, with Naomi, at long last, at long long last, my search was ended in this pleasant way, time to care for her before death, long way to go yet, lots of trouble her cantankerous habits, shameful blankets near the street, tooth pots, dirty pans, half paralyzed stubborn, she needed my middle aged strength and worldly money knowledge, housekeeping art. I can cook and write books for a living, she'll not have to beg her medicine food, a new set of teeth for company, won't yell at the world, I can afford a telephone, after twenty-five years we could call up aunt Edie in California, I'll have a place to stay. ''Best of all,'' I told Naomi ''Now don't get mad, you realize your old enemy Grandma's still alive! She lives a Couple blocks downhill, I just saw her, like you!'' My breast rejoiced, all my troubles over, she was content, too old to care or yell her grudge, only complaining her bad teeth. What long-sought peace! Then glad of life I woke in Boulder before dawn, my second story bedroom windows Bluff Street facing East over town rooftops, I returned from the Land of the Dead to living Poesy, and wrote this tale of mind joy, to have seen my mother again! And when the ink ran out of my pen, and rosy violet illumined city treetop skies above the Flatiron Front Range, I went downstairs to the shady living room, where Peter Orlovsky sat with long hair lit by television glow to watch the sunrise weather news, I kissed him & filled my pen and wept. 6:35 A.M. Oct. 5 '83

#poetry #Allen Ginsberg #American poetry #beat poetry #elegy #mothers & sons #Peter Orlovsky #land of the dead #the dead #dreams #dream songs #poems of the city

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dazaiswindow · 3 years

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ikevamp oc: franz kafka (pt.2)

More elaboration on his background, general idea of how his route would be like and some random headcanons i have about him!

If you haven't read the first part yet, i would recommend reading that first before reading this one, as it would make much more sense

Part 1 // Part 2

By the way, i'll be using the tag '#ikevamp oc' '#my oc' and '#ikevamp franz' for whenever i'm talking or making a post about him!

Background (past life and relationships, why he came back as a vampire, etc.)

a/n: first off, i know cybirb don’t really delve too far into the suitor’s past life and doesn’t even bother to mention their families and wives and/or past relationships, but for the sake of this oc of mine’s story, i am going to mention some parts of the life he led before

In his past, Franz was a German-speaking novelist and short-story writer. His father was abusive and was a tyrant of sorts, with a wicked temper and little appreciation for his son's creative side. His father had a habit of dismissing anything that excited and inspired young Franz, invariably crushing Franz’s interest in pursuing anything.

The reason he agreed to the contract with Comte de Saint Germain in the brink of his death, to come back to live as a vampire in the 19th century Paris, was because he felt he hadn’t lived his life to the fullest, to truly do what he would have wanted to do without the pressure of his father’s oppressive presence in all of his life.

Much of Franz's personal struggles, in romance and other relationships, also came in part from his complicated relationship with his father. In all his first life, he had not known what it’s like to be loved, to be the object of affection, and it was the reason he spent his nights with some of the women of Paris, to seek a fleeting feeling of love and affection in the heat of the moment.

Although, due to the emotional abuse he received in his past life, he had withdrawn himself from emotional attachments, it's not like he's completely isolating himself, in fact he's quite sociable, however, he had sealed his heart from becoming emotionally attached to other people.

Sources: I // II // III

How his route would be like

At first, on the night when mc first arrived at the mansion, he thinks nothing of it, he felt indifferent towards her but still being nice to her out of courtesy, but although he's very kind and friendly towards her, mc could still sense the way he subtly puts a distance between both of them, it's like a transparent wall separating her from truly knowing who he really is.

Wanting to know him better, mc sets out to spend more and more time with him in hopes that he would be able to slowly open up to her and that they could form a true, genuine friendship between them. But with the more time they spend together, and the more he felt comfortable to let himself loose around her little by little, she soon fell in love with him and felt hopeless because she was sure that her feelings would in no way being returned, she never planned to tell him about her feelings and stick to her plan to come back to the time she came from, hoping that she would be able to forget him by doing so.

Little did she know that he also fell in love with her and that he felt conflicted because he's been in denial for the most part of it. He always told himself to stay away from emotional attachment and yet this one was inevitable to him, how very much of a fool he is! Now he feels so emotionally attached to her, knowing that she would soon go back to her own time. Not wanting to put a burden on her, he decided that he would never speak of his feelings and will let her go home without the burden of knowing how he feels towards her.

Of course, all of this plans were thrown out the window when one day, mc suddenly got kidnapped and very surprisingly... the man who kidnapped her turns out to be his own father. Hermann Kafka was supposed to be dead shortly after Franz himself and it was impossible for him to still be alive during this time period, and yet he had come back to life, as a vampire.

He claimed he was brought back by a figure who Hermann refused to tell the name. It was unclear what was the reason that he was brought back to life, but Franz did notice that there was something off about his father, the man in front of him was his father, but at the same time he doesn't sound like his father, it was like someone had took out some parts of him and replaced it with something else.

After some confrontation between Franz and his father, it eventually became clear that Hermann had originally agreed to be turned into a vampire on the edge of his last breath, because he felt that he had been a terrible father to his son, and that he had felt an immense guilt about it for all the time he was confined to his deathbed and wanted to ask Fran'z forgiveness for all his missdoings-- before being manipulated by the person who brought him back as a vampire.

Franz eventually forgave him, and managed to safely bring both mc and himself back to the mansion, where they confessed their feelings to one another in true sincerity and truthfulness, there was no more walls separating them now. Franz asked mc if she wanted to stay with him here in the 19th century, to which mc delightedly said yes.

"You have bring light into my life and saved me from my solitude, from the moment I fell in love with you I knew that I am a changed man. You're meine Schätze and I shall cherish you as such."

(please excuse my attempt at trying to be ✨poetic✨ rip)

Headcanons

This is where all the fun stuffs at! These are not at all related to Franz Kafka's real self and history for once 🤣

Franz likes to play chess and is actually pretty good at it, he plays a lot of games of all kinds with Arthur (board games, card games, etc.) but the only time Arthur had ever felt on edge is whenever they’re playing chess together (Franz has not beat him yet but Arthur is convinced that he could do it one day).

As i have mentioned on the previous post, Franz has a great amount of respects towards Napoleon, and he’s lowkey a Napoleon fanboy, sometimes he and Sebas would gush talk about Napoleon (in a good way ofc) together in their free time, it could vary between his legacy during the Napoleonic Wars or even something as simple as what has Napoleon been up to today.

Has a pet red fox which he named Robin (okay idk if the disney version of Robin Hood was already invented during the time in which ikevamp took place in —it was invented on 1973— but pls for the sake of this just pretend that it already was 😂).

In the previous post, i've also mentioned that he’s not really comfortable around Theo, tbh it’s mainly because he doesn’t quite know how to act around him, Franz tried striking a conversation with him once and Theo’s replies were short and snarky (tbh just how Theo usually talks lol), it ended up being so awkward.

He acts very naturally around girls, what i mean is, when Arthur's way of attracting girls is by complimenting and flirting with them, Franz is more like being abundantly nice and sweet towards them, like paying close attention when they're speaking, offer to escort them someplace, etc., it's not that he's manipulative, but he's just a genuinely nice and courteous person, and girls flock to him naturally.

He's very soft spoken, ok i know i don't watch a lot of animes but listen-- i think Yuki Kaji's voice when he's voicing Kou Mabuchi from Ao Haru Ride would be close to what i imagined his voice would sound like! That voice but with a little more light-hearted tone !!

He and Dazai sometimes exchange ideas about writings, or just recommend each other's a weekly book to read, both of their works tend to take on a more depressive themes, they really have a lot of ideas to exchange and talk about lol.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp oc #ikemen vampire oc #ikevamp franz #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp sebastian #ikevamp theo

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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HBO Max New Releases: August 2021

https://ift.tt/3A1bKHN

Back when WarnerMedia (which technically no longer exists in the same form) announced that it would be premiering its entire slate of 2021 films on HBO Max, this is the kind of month they likely had in mind. For HBO Max’s list of new releases in August 2021 is highlighted by an honest-to-goodness blockbuster.

The Suicide Squad is set to premiere Aug. 5 on HBO Max. This film featuring some of DC Comics’ most curious villains borrows its name, format, and many of its characters from the David Ayers-directed 2016 film Suicide Squad. This time around, the rogues gallery is directing by James Gunn (Guardians of the Galaxy) and his colorful disposition. In addition to The Suicide Squad, August sees the arrival of the Hugh Jackman-starring Reminiscence on Aug. 20.

Movies

The Suicide Squad First Reactions Are In

By John Saavedra

Movies

How The Suicide Squad is Different from Guardians of the Galaxy

By Mike Cecchini

It’s a good month for movies overall on HBO Max. Many intriguing library titles arrive on Aug. 1, including Collateral, The Fugitive (1993), The Shawshank Redemption, and Spawn. The Jurassic Park trilogy (Aug. 14), and Godzilla v. Kong (Aug. 17) make their return to the Warner streaming service a little later on.

HBO Max’s original TV offerings can’t compete with The Suicide Squad in August 2021, but there is still plenty to enjoy. The third season of erstwhile DC Universe series Titans premieres on Aug. 12. That will be followed by the second season of former Comedy Central delight The Other Two.

HBO Max New Releases – August 2021

August 1 2 Days in the Valley, 1996 (HBO) 9/11: Fifteen Years Later, 2016 A Mighty Wind, 2003 (HBO) A Walk Among the Tombstones, 2014 (HBO) The Accidental Spy, 2002 (HBO) The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, 2005 (HBO) Americano, 2017 (HBO) Anna to the Infinite Power, 1982 (HBO) Backtrack, 2016 (HBO) Basic Instinct, 1992 (HBO) Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction, 2006 (HBO) (Extended Version) Best in Show, 2000 (HBO) Betrayal at Attica, 2021 The Betrayed, 2008 (HBO) The Birdcage, 1996 (HBO) Black Death, 2010 (HBO) Blue Ruin, 2014 (HBO) Brown Sugar, 2002 (HBO) Changeling, 2008 (HBO) Chasing Mavericks, 2012 (HBO) Collateral, 2004 (HBO) Constantine, 2005 Deep Cover, 1992 (HBO) The Devil’s Double, 2011 (HBO) Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, 1988 (HBO) Dolphin Tale, 2011 (HBO) The Double, 2014 (HBO) Empire of the Sun, 1987 The End, 1978 (HBO) Envy, 2004 (HBO) Epic, 2013 (HBO) Extranjero (aka Foreigner), 2018 (HBO) For Your Consideration, 2006 (HBO) Freejack, 1992 (HBO) The Fugitive, 1993 Ghosts of Mississippi, 1996 The Great Gatsby, 1974 (HBO) The Great Gatsby, 2013 (HBO) Gun Shy, 2017 (HBO) Hangman, 2017 (HBO) Heaven Can Wait, 1978 (HBO) Hitchcock, 2012 (HBO) Horror of Dracula, 1958 How to Deal, 2003 (HBO) Hudson Hawk, 1991 Humpday, 2009 (HBO) Imperium, 2016 (HBO) Inception, 2010 Joe, 2014 (HBO) Johnny English Reborn, 2011 (HBO) Julia, 2009 (HBO) Last Action Hero, 1993 The Lincoln Lawyer, 2011 Malcolm X, 1992 Man Down, 2016 (HBO) The Man in the Iron Mask, 1998 (HBO) Mean Streets, 1973 Mr. Soul!, 2018 New in Town, 2009 (HBO) Nobody Walks, 2012 (HBO) Nurse 3D, 2013 (HBO) One Hour Photo, 2002 (HBO) The Out-of-Towners, 1999 (HBO) Popeye, 1980 (HBO) The Pope of Greenwich Village, 1984 (HBO) The Prince, 2014 (HBO) The Reader, 2008 (HBO) Red, 2008 (HBO) Red Riding Hood, 2011 Requiem for a Dream, 2000 Scary Movie, 2000 The Score, 2001 (HBO) Sex and the City, 2008 Sex and the City 2, 2010 The Shawshank Redemption, 1994 Spawn, 1997 The Spirit, 2008 (HBO) The Square, 2017 (HBO) Stand and Deliver, 1988 (HBO) Tango & Cash, 1989 Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo, 2006 Thirteen Ghosts, 2001 Vice, 2015 (HBO) War, 2007 (HBO) Woodstock (Director’s Cut), 1994 You’ve Got Mail, 1998

August 2 Small Town News: KPVM Pahrump, Documentary Series Finale (HBO)

August 3 Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, 1993 Obama: In Pursuit of a More Perfect Union, Documentary Premiere (HBO)

August 5 Furry Friends Forever: Elmo Gets A Puppy, Max Original Special Premiere The Suicide Squad, Warner Bros. Film Premiere, 2021 (Available in 4K UHD, HDR10, Dolby Vision and Dolby Atmos in English Only on supported devices)

August 6 Sin Aliento (aka Breathless), 2020 (HBO)

August 7 All My Life, 2020 (HBO)

August 8 A Different World

August 10 Hard Knocks ’21: Dallas Cowboys, Sports-Based Reality Series Premiere (HBO)

August 12 FBOY Island, Max Original Season Finale The Hype, Max Original Series Premiere Titans, Max Original Season 3 Premiere

August 14 Jurassic Park, 1993 (HBO) Jurassic Park III, 2001 (HBO) The Lost World: Jurassic Park, 1997 (HBO)

August 15 The White Lotus, Limited Series Finale (HBO)

August 16 Hard, Season 3 Premiere (HBO) Top Gear, Season 29

August 17 Godzilla vs. Kong, 2021 (HBO) (Available in 4K UHD, HDR10, Dolby Vision and Dolby Atmos in English Only on supported devices)

August 19 Eyes on the Prize: Hallowed Ground, Max Original Documentary Special Premiere Looney Tunes Cartoons Back to School Special, Max Original Special Premiere Marlon Wayans: You Know What It Is, Max Original Special Premiere Sweet Life: Los Angeles, Max Original Series Premiere

August 20 Half Brothers, 2020 (HBO) Reefa, 2021 (HBO) Reminiscence, Warner Bros. Film Premiere, 2021 (Available in 4K UHD, HDR10, Dolby Vision and Dolby Atmos in English Only on supported devices)

August 22 100 Foot Wave, Documentary Series Finale (HBO) San Andreas, 2015

August 24 Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel (HBO) Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy, 2021

August 25 Lincoln: Divided We Stand, 2021

August 26 The Other Two, Max Original Season 2 Premiere

August 28 Magic Mike XXL, 2015 (HBO)

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Leaving HBO Max – August 2021

August 5 The Windsors: Inside the Royal Dynasty, 2019

August 11 A Mermaid’s Tale, 2017 Against the Wild 2: Survive the Serengeti, 2016 Against The Wild, 2014 Alpha & Omega 5: Family Vacation, 2015 Alpha & Omega: Dino Digs, 2016 Blue Valentine, 2010 Earth Girls Are Easy, 1989 The Escape Artist, 1982 Hecho En Mexico, 2012 Jennifer Lopez Dance Again, 2016 La Mujer de Mi Hermano, 2005 Leapfrog Letter Factory Adventures: Amazing Word Explorers, 2015 Leapfrog Letter Factory Adventures: Counting on Lemonade, 2014 Leapfrog Letter Factory Adventures: The Letter Machine Rescue Team, 2014 Love and Sex, 2000 Mistress, 1992 Mother’s Day, 2012 Tender Mercies, 1983 The Men Who Stare at Goats, 2009 Turtle Tale, 2018

August 14 Leapfrog: Numberland, 2012 Teen Titans Go! vs. Teen Titans, 2019

August 15 Joker, 2019 (HBO) Space Jam: A New Legacy, 2021

August 27 Dead Silence, 2007 (HBO) White Noise, 2005 (HBO)

August 29 Assault on Precinct 13, 2005 (HBO)

August 30 Serendipity, 2001

August 31 54: The Director’s Cut, 1998 (HBO) 40 Days and 40 Nights, 2002, (HBO) A Cinderella Story, 2004 A Cinderella Story: If The Shoe Fits, 2016 A Cinderella Story: Once Upon A Song, 2011 Alpha and Omega: The Great Wolf Games, 2014 (HBO) The American President, 1995 Another Cinderella Story, 2008 Astro Boy, 2009 (HBO) August Rush, 2007 Babe, 1995 (HBO) Babe: Pig in the City, 1998 (HBO) The Barkleys of Broadway, 1949 Barnyard, 2006 (HBO) Barry Lyndon, 1975 Battle for Terra, 2009 (HBO) The Bay, 2012 (HBO) Be Cool, 2005 (HBO) Beverly Hills Cop, 1984 (HBO) Beverly Hills Cop II, 1987 (HBO) Beverly Hills Cop III, 1994 (HBO) Beyond the Sea, 2004 (HBO) Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey, 1991 (HBO) Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, 1989 (HBO) Billy Elliot, 2000 (HBO) Black Hawk Down, 2001 Blade, 1998 Blade Runner: The Final Cut, 2007 Blow, 2001 The Bonfire of the Vanities, 1990 Bright Young Things, 2004 (HBO) Butter, 2012 (HBO) Cannery Row, 1982 Capricorn One, 1978 (HBO) Carefree, 1938 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, 2005 City of God, 2003 (HBO) City Slickers, 1991 (HBO) City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold, 1994 Clifford, 1994 (HBO) Closer, 2004 Code 46, 2004 (HBO) Cold Creek Manor, 2003 (HBO) Cold Mountain, 2003 Countdown, 1968 The Crow, 1994 (HBO) The Crow: City of Angels, 1996 (HBO) The Crow: Wicked Prayer, 2006 (HBO) Daddy Day Care, 2003 Dave, 1993 The Dirty Dozen, 1967 Dream House, 2011 (HBO) Eight Legged Freaks, 2002 El Chata (aka The Sparring Partner), 2019 (HBO) Freddy vs. Jason, 2003 Free Willy, 1993 Free Willy: The Adventure Home, 1995 Free Willy: Escape from Pirate’s Cove, 2010 Free Willy 3: The Great Rescue, 1997 Frequency, 2000 Get Shorty, 1995 (HBO) Gone, 2012 (HBO) The Hard Way, 1991 (HBO) Harry and the Hendersons, 1987 (HBO) Heidi, 2005 The High Note, 2020 (HBO) The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, 2012 Home Alone 4, 2002 (HBO) Home Alone: The Holiday Heist, 2012 (HBO) Hudson Hawk, 1991 The Hundred-Foot Journey, 2014 (HBO) Innerspace, 1987 Inside Moves, 1980 (HBO) The Interview, 2014 Jack The Giant Slayer, 2013 Jackie Brown, 1997 Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer, 2011 (HBO) The Last Exorcism, 2012 (Extended Version) (HBO) Lay the Favorite, 2012 (HBO) Let’s Go to Prison, 2006 (HBO) Life is Beautiful, 1998 (HBO) Live by Night, 2016 (HBO) Logan’s Run, 1976 Lolita, 1962 Look Who’s Talking, 1989 Malice, 1993 (HBO) Man on a Ledge, 2012 (HBO) Menace II Society, 1993 Miss Congeniality, 2000 Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, 2005 Monkey Trouble, 1994 Mr. Nanny, 1993 National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, 1989 National Lampoon’s European Vacation, 1985 National Lampoon’s Vacation, 1983 No Eres Tu Soy Yo, 2011 Ocean’s 11, 1960 The Omega Man, 1971 On Golden Pond, 1981 (HBO) On Moonlight Bay, 1951 Osmosis Jones, 2001 Our Brand Is Crisis, 2015 (HBO) Over the Hedge, 2006 (HBO) Parental Guidance, 2012 (HBO) Pathfinder, 2007 (Director’s Cut) (HBO) The People vs. Larry Flynt, 1996 Pinocchio, 2012 Point Blank, 1967 Popstar, 2005 Prometheus, 2012 (HBO) PT 109, 1963 Replicas, 2019 (HBO) Running on Empty, 1988 Ruta Viva, 2018 (HBO) Saw, 2004 (Extended Version) (HBO) Saw II, 2005 (Director’s Cut) (HBO) Saw III, 2006 (Director’s Cut) (HBO) Saw IV, 2007 (Director’s Cut) (HBO) Saw V, 2008 (Director’s Cut) (HBO) Saw VI, (Director’s Cut) (HBO) Saw: The Final Chapter, 2010 (Director’s Cut) (HBO) Shall We Dance, 1937 Sherlock Holmes, 2009 Sinbad: Beyond the Veils of Mist, 2000 (HBO) Sling Blade, 1996 (HBO) Some Came Running, 1958 South Central, 1992 Spies Like Us, 1985 Spooky Buddies, 2011 (HBO) Steel, 1997 Still of the Night, 1982 (HBO) Striptease, 1996 Stuart Little, 1999 Stuart Little 2, 2002 The Stunt Man, 1979 (HBO) Summer Catch, 2001 Sweet November, 2001 Swimfan, 2002 (HBO) The Tank, 2017 (HBO) This Must Be The Place, 2012 (HBO) Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride, 2005 The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, 1948 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, 1997 (HBO) Twister, 1996 Un 4to de Josue, 2018 (HBO) Unforgettable, 2017 (HBO) Unlocking the Cage, 2017 (HBO) Vegas Vacation, 1997 Wanderlust, 2012 (HBO) Wedding Crashers, 2005 Within, 2016 (HBO) Wolves at the Door, 2017 (HBO) The Year of Living Dangerously, 1983

The post HBO Max New Releases: August 2021 appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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dany-is-my-queen · 4 years

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Born To Be Yours | Part III

Sansa Stark x Fem! Baretheon! Reader (Daenerys Targaryen x Fem! Baratheon! Reader eventually)

Season 1-8

Word Count: 1,785

Pt. 1 Pt.2 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9

Another tournament was organized. Your father insisted on participate, luckily Lord Stark convinced him otherwise. Who would dare challenge the King of the Seven Kingdoms?

You were sitting exactly like the first occasion but Cersei was absent. She never really enjoy those kind of events, not that they were your favorite either. This time was The Mountain against one of your best friends, Ser Loras of House Tyrell. A very charming man.

“That is a very pretty dress, Myrcella.” You told your little sister. Your gaze directed to the northern girl.

“You like it?” She grinned contemplating at her golden and costly gown. Yours was very similar.

“I do, my lioness.”

Ser Loras approached the redhead giving her a red rose. She gladly accepted and you remember she told you how much she loved knights. He was way more kind than Joffrey. But you knew the Tyrell boy has an affair with uncle Renly, actually, you were the only person who knew their secret. Although here in the capital people’s secrets are never safe.

After The Hound defended the Knight of the Flowers, Ser Gregor left furious. All the applauses were towards him. Later that day you were on your chambers, sparring on your own.

“Y/N, how many times have I told you I don’t like you to be playing with a sword.” The blonde woman nagged.

“Not enough.” You turned to her.

“It’s dangerous. I don’t want you to get hurt.” You took a deep breath.

“Father says it’s for my own good.”

“You have a lot of him in you.”

“Not the eyes. Mine are just like yours.” You scoffed.

“You have Robert’s stubbornness.” She pointed.

“That bothers you? Where is uncle Tyrion? Have you got a word from him?”

“He is a prisoner of Lady Stark.” How can she say it so casual?

“What?! Why??”

“Conspiracy. They assume he hired someone to murder their little son.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. He is not known for being a child killer. What will happen now?”

“Jaime is trying to get him back. We expect the Starks to return him safe and sound to the capital. Practice your needlework. That is more appropriate for a princess to do.” She declared and walked out. You rolled your eyes, resuming your moves.

“Father, you wanted to see me?” He raised his cup and order you to sit on the small table.

“I’m getting old. You, my daughter, are getting better on your fencing. I am proud to see what you are becoming, a hell of a woman! Not a girl anymore. Never let a man commands you. You were born a leader, not a follower. Always remember that.” He gulped, offering you some wine. You like the taste but not the feeling if you drink too much.

“I have your strength, courage and of course, your charisma.” You admitted.

“Indeed. What about you marry Edd’s son? Robb is his name if I recall correctly. I wanted to join our houses. Baratheon and Stark, finally together. Without a fucking Targaryen getting in the way. But Y/N, I want you to live a happy life. Not a loveless marriage like the one your mother and I have. When you are to be wed, choose your partner wisely and never let anyone take them away from you.” You knew when your father was being serious, sorrow written all over his face.

“I can’t start a war if that happens. Thank you, father. I will listen to you. Joffrey and Sansa will rule someday, I hope it’s in a very long time, though. I’m not able to fully understand what you lost when Lady Lyanna was stolen from you. I can’t imagine the pain and frustration you felt. I am sorry.” You looked at him with a sympathetic smile.

“Not more than I am. The only good thing about the outcome was you and your siblings. Even Joffrey. You are way better than him, in every aspect. Cersei always treated you less. But you are my princess.” The bearded man said with nothing but the truth.

“I don’t know what to do. What is expected of me.” You lower your head.

“Don’t worry, child. One of the seven heavens has a plan for you. You are young, beautiful and smart. You are the princess of Westeros. The world shall be as you desire. Don’t worry about that now.” You stood up and hugged him tightly. In that moment you felt safe from any danger, safe even from your mother.

“Lord Varys. What news?” You were walking at a slow pace outside the Throne Room. “You know I only want to help my father make the right choices.” Lord Bealish is not the only one that whispers in your ear, the Eunuch trusts you. Almost everyone does. You’ve never used the intel they tell you to do something wrong. You could never.

“Yes I know, my friend. Daenerys Targaryen.” He sighed. “She is pregnant with Khal Drogo’s child. She’s a threat along with Viserys. I’m certain it’s not a rumor. The King wants her dead, he insists.”

“Thank you for sharing this information with me, my lord.” He bowed his head, turning to the opposite direction.

“How are things in Highgarden?” You asked your old friend.

“Quiet. My grandmother and sister send their regards. They miss you.” The curled man said.

“I’ll go visit soon.”

“Perhaps you could bring your new friend, she’s quite a beauty.” When you opened your mouth to answer a knock from the door caught your attention

“My Princess. Lady Arya is nowhere to be found.”

“I want every single one of my guards searching out for her. When you locate her take her immediately to Lord Eddard. Please.” The young man nodded.

After a few hours, the little wolf appeared. “Oh, Arya! You are okay. Where have you been?”

“I got lost. Thanks for worrying. I’m fearful... for my father.”

“Why’s that?”

“I’ve heard they plan to kill him.” She almost whispered.

“Who?”

“I don’t know. The King will protect him, right?” She asked with preoccupation in her voice.

“Of course, Arya.” She hugged you. The last Hand, Jon Arryn, he died because the fever took him, or did someone plan it? Now the Lord of Winterfell was in danger? A thousand scenarios began to run in your head.

You just received the jewel you asked to be made to the finest hand-crafter in King’s Landing, a gorgeous silver ring with House Stark sigil. The wolf in the middle was discreet yet visible. A perfect gift for a perfect lady. You were excited to deliver it so you head to find her. Someone got earlier. You didn’t speak right away.

“Would you forgive me, for my rudeness?” At least he was apologizing.

“There is nothing to forgive.” She was stuttering.

“One day we’ll be married. I’ll never disrespect you again. I’ll never be cruel to you again. Do you understand me?” You are my lady now. From this day until my last day.” Your heart ached at the thought of it. But it’s something you already knew. Seeing them together was different.

“My Princess.” You were about to turn around when Septa Mordane greeted you.

“I... I didn’t mean to interrupt. I didn’t know you were with Lady Sansa.” Joffrey eyed you with his usual sulky expression.

“Leave us alone, sister.” He hissed.

“My lady.” You just bowed your head completely embarrassed.

You called for the tall girl to be escorted to your chambers. “I intended to give you this yesterday. I’m sorry for running into you when you were occupied.”

“It’s alright. It’s beautiful!” She had a wide smile as you put the ring on her index finger.

“I see Joffrey gave you a necklace.” You noticed the golden piece. She took it and nodded.

“Yes. It’s like the one you wear.”

“My mother and Myrcella have one identical. It suits you.”

“That’s what he said. I will be his queen someday.” She excited exclaimed.

“Yes, you will.” Your heart was aching again.

“The ring is lovely. Thank you, princess.” The Northerner admired it happily.

“Now you have something to remember the North. I had it made especially for you. You are very welcome.” You smiled warmly at her.

“Y/N, you’ll be joining the hunt.” Your father stated.

“With pleasure.” You’ve always loved to go hunting, it was not a boring activity for you at all. You gather your weapons. Your skills were good, though every time you go to the wild you learn something new.

You were deep in the woods, a bow in your hand. Your father was carrying a spear. Ser Barristan and uncle Renly joined too.

“Father, don’t kill the Targaryen girl. I understand why you need to do it. Don’t see it as an act of honor but of mercy. She’s innocent. They are far away from King’s Landing. You are not a butcher. Don’t send anyone to hunt her down. More so if she’s carrying a baby inside her.”

“You and Ned so honorable. Maybe you are right. Little girls don’t frighten me.” You were relieved when you heard him say that. There is hope for them. “You weren’t a man till you fucked one girl of each of the Seven Kingdoms and the Riverlands. We used to call it “making the eight.” He giggled.

“Those were some lucky girls.” The youngest Baratheon brother said without a bit of excitement.

“Y/N! I suppose it counts for the boys too.” You smirked and nudged your uncle. “Those were the days.” The smile fell from his lips. Now he was angry.

“What days exactly? The ones were half of Westeros fight the other half and millions died. Or before that, when the Mad King slaughtered women and babies cause the voices in his head told him they deserved it. Or way before that, when dragons burnt whole cities to the ground.” He spat.

“Easy, boy. You might be my brother but you’re speaking to the king.” The black-haired man warned.

“More wine, your grace?” Lancel nervously offered.

“Father, you should slow down with the booze, it can make you feel dizzy and to hunt you need to stay focus.” You declared.

“Oh my dear daughter, I’d done this a million times. Wine is my preferred ally.” He said.

It all happened so fast, Robert missed his thrust and was seriously injured by a boar, he was very drunk to be concentrated. When you, Ser Barristan and Renly tried to help it was too late. You arrived from the Kingswood with him almost unconscious. All the way back you were quivering. Fearing for your father’s life.

#sansa stark x reader #sansa x reader #sansa x fem baratheon reader #baratheon reader #house baratheon #game of thrones fic #got

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medea10 · 3 years

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My Review of Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni GOU

(a.k.a. When They Cry Gou)

I know what you’re thinking. Why the heck am I reviewing this anime again? I’ve already written a review in 2009 and re-polished it in 2016. (Here it is BTW) I’ve made my point on who I like, hate, what ships are worthy, and poked fun at all the deaths that happened throughout the series. I think some time has passed that I should say some thoughts on this…um, story. After all, Higurashi is one of my favorite animes.

STORY: Ah shit, here we go again!

Higurashi or When They Cry is about a boy named Keiichi Maebara who recently moved to a place called Hinamizawa. And ever since moving to this town, he’s found his days are filled with fun mischief with fellow friends Rena Ryuuguu, Satoko Hojo, Mion Sonozaki, and Rika Furude. But little does Keiichi know that there’s a little murder mystery that surrounds the town. During a town festival known as Watanagashi (or Cotton Drifting), there’s usually one or two people that go missing or turn up dead. And this year, Keiichi is next. So let’s relive the horrors that plague the town of Hinamizawa and…

One episode later.

Wait, what the…?! It’s episode 2, why are we seeing Hanyuu? I don’t remember that in the manga. The visual! THE VISUAL! WHAT THE FUCK?! ISN’T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A REBOOT? WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY IS THERE AN ADULT RIKA?! WAIT, IS THAT ADULT RIKA OR BERN? IS THIS GOING TO BE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE TO THE WITCHES OF UMINEKO?! THE SHADOWS IN THE OPENING ARE TOO FAMILIAR FROM OTHER WORKS! Ryukishi07, you magnificent, fucking troll master for keeping this hidden until the second episode’s air date!

Many of us did not see this coming. When they announced a new Higurashi series that was going to be done by a different studio, many of us speculated whether this was going to be a reboot or a sequel. But then we got the PV trailers and it looked like we were going to get a reboot to correct the mistakes Studio Deen made years ago. Rika’s head doesn’t look like its gonna snap off because her body is so small in comparison. Improvements! I mean, they showed everything we were already used to like the yandere girls, the original soundtrack, the original freakin’ cast, and death by baseball bat. Hell, the first episode ended with an Eiko Shimamiya song! It was on track to being a reboot! A better looking reboot!

Here in lies the sequel aspect! After episode one, we get a scene that isn’t usually seen until the Kai part of Higurashi (a good 4-5 arcs away). And they give away the secret that Rika Furude is repeating the timeline of June 1983 over and over because she keeps dying. And as the series progresses, you notice little things different from the original series. Many of the well-known storylines end much differently than what you remember. Instead of Keiichi killing Rena and Mion with a baseball bat, you’ve got Rena going psycho on Keiichi. And Rika’s fate is somehow worse than the stories of the original series. So let’s head back to Hinamizawa to hear the cicadas cry and watch a murder mystery unfold.

THE SUB: All the original voice actors have returned to voice their respected roles. Perfection in a nutshell!

LICENSING: You’ve gotta be shitting me!

As I’ve mentioned years ago in my review, the original Higurashi anime went through a turbulent time being licensed in the states. It was originally licensed and dubbed by Geneon. But once Geneon collapsed, FUNimation licensed it and did absolutely fuck all with it. Geneon could only manage to squeak out one season. At this point, FUNimation was picking up titles that Geneon used to have before it fell under including Familiar of Zero, Kyou Kara Maou, and yes, Higurashi. All of these titles mentioned here were done absolutely nothing with despite having cult followings, second seasons, and OVA’s.

A year or two after licensing it, the license expired for Higurashi. For nearly six years, the only copies you could get were out of print and estimating at $500 at the very least for a full collection. Single DVD’s could be found in rare shops, but it would take like 13 years to complete the fucking collection if you did it that way. And that was only for the first season. Second season, the best all of us could do was bootleg DVD’s from Japan Town or fansubs with glaring errors for the best season to Higurashi. We had to deal with this shit until Sentai Filmworks licensed and released the first 2 seasons and the Rei OVA’s.

AND NOW YOU’RE TELLING ME FUNIMATION IS CLAIMING HIGURASHI ALL FOR THEMSELVES?!

Where the shit was this love 10 years ago when we were asking politely to release Kai? People ignorantly blew Higurashi off for years because season two was never released in the states until 2016 because they thought the damn anime ended after Rena held up the school. I’m already irritated with FUNimation after the Interspecies Reviewers debacle and I’m still quite butt-hurt over them re-releasing Nichijou with a dub to make a quick buck. Licensing Higurashi just brings back old anger. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy Higurashi is legally licensed and can be seen on at the very least Hulu. It’s just that I hold grudges and this was a big one.

THE DUB: Holy…um, okay! This is a rather big gulp to take in. As I’ve repeatedly mentioned in past reviews, the Higurashi dub was a mixed bag of okay, bad, and oh gasperts kill it with fire. So, not great! The good folks at Geneon (before bankrupting in America) dubbed the first season with a good chunk of folks that put their fake names to the credits. Again, not great! To me, there were some aspects of Megan Hollingshed, Mela Lee, and Grant George’s performances of Mion, Rena, and Keiichi that were okay. SOME! John Snyder and Karen Strassmen as Ooishi and Takano were the best out of that dub. Everything else was just irredeemable! It needed a redub, an overhaul, and a spit-shine. For years, I’ve wondered who would be the dream cast. Sentai Filmworks unfortunately never dubbed the remaining seasons when they released them. Would Luci Christian be the heavenly voice to do Rika Furude? Could we get Hilary Haag to do Satoko? Okay, that never came to pass.

This dub is a breath of fresh air. Rika doesn’t sound like Mihoshi. Satoko doesn’t sound fake, Keiichi doesn’t sound like a weird Sonic the Hedgehog. It’s perfect. ESPECIALLY BRITTANY LAUDA AS SATOKO! I knew the second she was cast as Satoko that she was going to excel the fuck out of this role. And I was not disappointed! The only voice I’m still not quite used to is Michelle Rojas as the Sonozaki twins. Probably because I was somewhat okay with Megan Hollingshed’s voice in the 2006 version that it’ll take some time! And we FINALLY got a voice for Hanyuu. I am super excited that Xanthe Huynh is the voice and I know she’ll do great with this role! With all of that said, here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

*Keiichi is now played by Khoi Dao (known for Kiriyama on March Comes in Like a Lion, Murata on Demon Slayer, Chaka on Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Pt. 3, and Iskhan on SAO: Alicization)

*Rena is now played by Emi Lo

*Mion/Shion is now played by Michelle Rojas (known for Shizu Delta on Overlord, Touka on Assassination Classroom, Minase on Psycho Pass, Kanan on Love Live Sunshine, and Kusakai on Keijo!!!!!!!!)

*Rika is now played by Apphia Yu (known for Rio on Assassination Classroom, Marie on Black Clover, You on Love Live Sunshine, Victorique on Gosick, Natsumi on Danganronpa 3, and Laki on Fairy Tail)

*Satoko is now played by Brittany Lauda (known for Riko on Made in Abyss, Meidri on Interspecies Reviewers, Lessar on Index III, and Ichigo on Darling in the FranXX)

*Hanyuu is played by Xanthe Huynh (known for Menma on Anohana, Haru on Persona 5, Hanayo on Love Live, Hidomi on FLCL: Progressive, PallaPalla on Sailor Moon Super S [redub], and Sachi on SAO)

ANY CHANGES IN YOUR HATE-O-RADE:

Okay Medea, let-a-rip!

*inhales and exhales*

Teppei Hojo is trash. He is ultimate trash. This fucker needs to be murdered in every timeline. He is a turd in a Glenn Quagmire shirt. Him and his wife are trash. And when this pile of trash is cheating on that pile of trash, he sleeps with peak trash named Ritsuko. Teppei Hojo needs to die in every timeline. Whenever Keiichi bashes this cum-burger’s head in with a blunt instrument, I scream at the top of my lungs, “DIE SCUM, DIE”! And nothing, I repeat, NOTHING will change my opinion of Teppei Hojo.

Episode 23.

Oh, fuck you Higurashi Gou!

MUSIC: Okay, thank you for proving me wrong. I did not despise the opening theme. Having Higurashi with no Eiko Shimamiya is like having Pokemon with no Rika Matsumoto. Or Rozen Maiden with no ALI PROJECT. But this new opening is fine by my standards.

That’s right, get the niceness of the review before I get angry down below.

THESE TIMELOOPS: Rika tries to find solutions to end her time-loop in June 1983. Much like the original series, we follow stories from the Onikakushi-hen, Watanagashi-hen, and Tatarigoroshi-hen arcs (the first three stories to Higurashi, although now these have different names). However, all of these arcs have different endings. And after a positive turnaround with Satoko escaping from her abusive uncle, shit goes south when Detective Ooishi, who up to this point has never suffered under the Hinamizawa Syndrome or died a painful death goes on a murderous rampage. Higurashi style! That means, he’s after Rika Furude, will slaughter anyone in his way, and scratching his neck because he sees maggots (part of the hallucination effect).

What the shit? Ooishi for the most part has been a great guy. With the exception of the Tatarigoroshi-hen storyline, he was a nice guy! In the limbo with Hanyuu, Rika now remembers who has killed her. Every time Rika dies up to this point, she never remembers who was the cause of her demise. Hanyuu implanted that power to remember the deaths and a clue for Rika to use and then she disappears.

Now seriously, imagine Rika’s plight here. She has been repeating the month of June 1983 for over a hundred years. And each of these times she repeats, she’s horribly murdered. Rika got the shit-end of the deal in the murder department in the original series, including being dissected on while alive. Then, leaving her bloody, naked corpse out in the open of the Oyashiro altar! She’s tired of this shit! She wants to live a happy life away from Hinamizawa. She wants to grow older, become a teenager, and have fun. And this series made it worse by having her die four times in one episode. Not just that, but murdered by the most unexpected people including Akasaka, Chief Kimiyoshi, Mion’s mother Akane, and Keiichi. Keiichi has never killed Rika in any of the timelines up to this point. He has killed Mion and Rena, but never Rika. Keiichi loves Rika! Welcome back to A Million Ways to Die in Hinamizawa.

I’ll just add decapitation, drowning in a lake, set on fire, drowning in a sewage pipe, and death by…um…

Alexa, play Chandelier by Sia.

ENDING: We all know by now that in the original series, Miyo Takano is the betrayer and the reason behind all the murders during the Cotton Drifting Festival. This time, it’s someone closer to Rika that’s causing Rika so much pain. After we watched the worst kinds of murders happen to Rika, the episode after gave us our answer. Satoko, Rika’s friend and confidant is not happy that Rika is turning her back on Oyashiro and Hinamizawa. All the while pulling out her intestines!

Oh Higurashi, don’t stop being gory!

Yes, Satoko is aware of past timelines much like Rika and is almost on a god-like state. So what the hell happened to her? I know Satoko’s past has been a cluster-fuck of horror with her brother disappearing, her parents dying, and every form of abuse from her uncle. But she was able to prevail after all that. After surviving 1983, a lot has changed in Hinamizawa. The three big families of Hinamizawa put an end to the Cotton Drifting Festival and claiming there is no curse of Oyashiro. Mion and Shion moved on and are going to high school. And Rika decides she wants to move away from this village. By attending St. Lucia! And she wants to do this with Satoko.

Oh, if you don’t recall St. Lucia, Shion attended this academy until she escaped during the Meakashi-hen arc. It was also the same school that Ange from Umineko attended. But of course Ange attended it in the 90’s and we are clearly in the 80’s. Moving on!

Rika and Satoko studied their butts off for years and their hard work paid off as both were admitted into St. Lucia. Now Rika was able to prevail and fit in with everyone. Satoko on the other hand couldn’t do the same as her grades took a dip, her manners are atrocious, and she doesn’t seem to fit in with anyone. And this caused a drift between Rika and Satoko! And so during a trip to Hinamizawa, Satoko went to the old shrine where she ended up getting sent to that limbo place Rika and Hanyuu were at many times before. There, she meets Eua (God, I hope that really isn’t her name). She’s much like Hanyuu except a lot more condescending. Oh, and she’s that mysterious shadow during the opening theme. She bestows the power to Satoko of reviving on death and returning to a certain point in time. In the hopes that Satoko is able to stop Rika from going to St. Lucia! But Rika is not going to budge. She wants out of Hinamizawa no matter what. And Satoko just wants to be with her friend no matter what. Satoko is even shown Rika’s past and still no dent in…Okay, this is bugging the fuck outta me. Pause the Ending portion!

MY GRIPES WITH SATOKO: Satoko, girl, the fuck is wrong with you?! I know Rika is like your main chick and everything, but for fuck’s sake loosen the grip you have with Rika. This season has changed you and not for the better. You made a connection with ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS from Hinamizawa. Big connections! At least in the original series you did. Look at your moments with Keiichi and Shion. Are you just going to shove them off? And what really sets me off is that Satoko literally had the opportunity to learn about Rika’s hundred year’s loop of death. And feels nothing about it! Only that it’s a challenge to break her herself! God damn, at the end of season one, Keiichi learned the truth and he was remorseful. This bitch doesn’t care that her friends were murdered in such a way. And Rika’s been shot in the head, had a live dissection performed on her, and other forms of torture…AND IT DOESN’T FAZE SATOKO!

I know in my original Higurashi review, I felt sorry for Satoko as she did seem to get the short-end of the stick living in Hinamizawa. I mean, her parents died right in front of her, she suffered abuse from her uncle, abuse from her aunt, ostrisized by the town for years, and a myriad of all types of shit to befall her. But Higurashi Gou has ruined this character. Rika didn’t really do anything wrong to Satoko. She didn’t snitch on her when Satoko got in trouble. She offered help to Satoko when she thought her grades were slipping. Satoko just held onto this petty vendetta. Satoko acted like Rika sexually assaulted her and have two other people gang rape her while drugging her. Okay, that’s a call for revenge, not your petty shit.

YOU SEE WHERE I’M AT WITH YOU SATOKO?! Your actions are so bad that you have me siding with the protagonist from Redo of Healer.

REDO.

OF.

HEALER!!!

I’m done with you! Girl, bye! We now return you to my talk about the ending already in progress.

BACK TO THE ENDING: Sorry, had to get that off my chest. Yeah, Satoko is leaving a bad impression on many of us who have been following the Higurashi story for years. And it just gets worse as she uses her new power for petty shit and abusing it at that. I mean, we saw Rika use her power in order to find a way to live past June 1983. Satoko is just using that shit to win some games and have things go her way. What else could this series bless us with? How about an epiphany from Teppei Hojo?

What?!

Teppei changes for the better.

What?!

Look, I admit that these moments with Teppei and Satoko were tame compared to the shit she’s pulled in the last several episodes. But this is Teppei Hojo! The same guy that used Satoko as his personal punching bag! The same guy who fleeced Rena’s father! The same guy many of us who cheer every time we see him on a moped because we know someone’s going to bash his head in with a baseball bat. Even my best friend knows how I am with this guy. When she gave me Higurashi free swag, I took everything except for Teppei. I don’t take trash. So seeing him so remorseful makes me…conflicted.

So now Satoko’s got things turned around for her. Her uncle has…changed?! Add to that, her God-like power. Satoko decides to change the past for her own advantage. This includes changing one of the biggest stories in Higurashi Kai with the kids vs. Miyo Takano. If Rika doesn’t experience the pain in those timelines, she won’t think about leaving Hinamizawa. And if she doesn’t leave Hinamizawa, she’ll stay with Satoko forever.

Oh what a tangled web of crazy Higurashi Gou was! I gotta tell you, Higurashi got me excited all the way up until we learn it was Satoko. And then it went straight to Hell. They turned Satoko into a straight-up selfish monster. Totally unlike the Satoko we’ve all grown to love in the original series. Yes, Satoko had those moments where, yeah, you would want to throw a chair at her and beat her ass with it. But that was only temporary! You would always see the good in Satoko despite that mischievous laugh and those episodes in Higurashi Rei. And God help me, I was a shipper of Rika x Satoko 10 years ago. Not a big one, but a supporter of it. Now, I would rather support Amourshipping from Pokemon than root for this. And I despise the living fuck out of Amourshipping. That should tell you something!

If original Satoko were bestowed the powers from Eua, I think things would be different. Satoko would probably use her powers to prevent all the bad stuff from happening to her friends and to her brother Satoshi. I mean, my goodness, not once did I see her think, hey maybe I should find a way to help my ailing brother. Change a few timelines, make him all better! And of course, feel sympathy for Rika’s plight. Do it for Rika’s sake, not your own selfish desires! Rika has died horrificly for hundreds of years. And I seriously just can’t get over Satoko’s reaction to that when she learned the truth. Instead, she wants to treat Rika like a caged bird. Best friend my ass!

Now can Higurashi SOTSU fix the hot mess of Satoko? Time will only tell! And good on them for having Higurashi air in the summertime. Summertime is for Higurashi! Autum is for Umineko. Speaking of, it’s been since 2009. Any chance you want to give Umineko the old reboot or sequel it sorely needs? Oh forget it! My likeness for this season is conflicted. I was annoyed by it, but I didn’t fully hate it. It’s just that last arc with Satoko really burned my beans. And I’m sure a lot of you all feel the same way.

Guys, if you want to watch Higurashi Gou, do yourselves a favor and watch the original series first. Let that swirl around your heads for a while. I know the creator tricked us at the beginning of this series thinking it was going to be an honest-to-God retelling. It is not! It is a sequel. And a sequel that isn’t based off a game or manga of all things. So fans are jumping into this with eyes closed! And if you’re a fan of Satoko Hojo, I’m sorry. I’m just sorry.

If you want to check out Higurashi Gou, it is available to watch on FUNimation and Hulu. But please, if you haven’t watched the original series, go to HI-DIVE now and watch “When They Cry” and “When They Cry Kai”. I think you can manage without watching any of the OVA’s.

I’d rather watch that Kira OVA where the fanservice is thin, you can practically lick off the whipped cream from the Sonozaki’s tit.

That should tell you something if I’m starting to say something nice about Higurashi Kira.

See you in a few months when Higurashi SOTSU comes out.

#anime review #Higurashi no Naku Koro ni #higurashi no naku koro ni gou #When they cry #when they cry gou #Rika Furude #satoko hojo #mion sonozaki #keiichi maebara #hanyuu #rena ryuugu #miyo takano #eua #teppei hojo

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k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9 · 1 year

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argonas · 3 years

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Are We Dead Yet - Pt III: A Way Out

[[ Co-written with @kidcatgemini & @sylaess ]]

Avehi led the trio to a small cave. The term was a generous one; it was a hole in the cliff facing, hardly noticeable from the outside. Avehi only found it thanks to a subtle rune placed over the entrance. Not by her hand, but that of a friend. She peered inside, and once it was determined to be safe, only then did the Draenei lower her guard.

Argonas brought up the rear; his hulking mortal form only barely able to slip inside the cave-- and not without a bit of scraping. Still, he managed inside without drawing too much attention to himself or the cave overall. He loitered by the entrance, not keen on delving too deep in the cloistered space. Keeping watch was as good an excuse as any. He exhaled slow, even breaths to suppress his phobia. Few things gave him anxiety like rightly enclosed spaces. But he set that aside, out of necessity.

For Sinafay.

His eyes turned to her, still unconvinced she was really there. It seemed… impossible. But he knew it was her. He could feel it, even without being able to touch her. She looked magnificent, even as a weary, time-tortured soul. Her defiance burned, an undiminishing aura that was so uniquely hers. He'd missed it so much.

Avehi was less sentimental in the moment. Of course, she didn't know this Sinafay too well. The similarities with her counterpart were strong, though; she blamed herself less for mixing them up the first time she encountered her, looking for the one she knew from Draenor. On second look… it seemed the two were inescapably linked, even across their different timelines. Curious. She shook her head, and turned to Sylaess; the provider and defender of their makeshift hideout.

"Any sign of Raetos?" Avehi asked her hooded elven friend, slinging her hammer over her shoulder once the cave opened up wide enough to allow it. "I don't know how much time we can spend looking for him."

A small shake of her head was all that was offered. The shaded hood didn’t offer much for expression, but it wasn’t really necessary in the Maw. She shifted, rummaging about the small quarry of supplies she’d netted. Two small packages bound in ebon cloth, to be fair. Food. Waterskins. Bandages. Inane things, but not to be expected of the Acherians.

She knew Argo would need these things. Hoped Raetos was good enough to find himself some forage--though it had a cost. Syl tugged the hemp straps tighter, securing them. A nasty Maw-sworn spear rested on the wall beside the entrance. Another thing she’d stolen.

She didn’t dare steal more than a few glances at Sinafay. She was glad they’d found her, but the sight of her left Syl more confused than she wanted to wade through at the moment. She knew her, but did she really? She couldn’t exactly recall anything determinate about her, other than that she was Argonas’ mate and that she had caused the unlikely friendship between her and Argo. But there was more!

She smoothed her hands on her greaves a moment and stood up, shaking her head again. “I can guarantee this place for but a few hours. They move fast on very little intel. Resources are not a concern of theirs.” Picked up the spear and stood quietly at the edge of the cave, watching outward. “I see groups moving up the pathways, but none returning yet. That may be our best bet. Won’t be easy.”

“Nothing worth doing is easy.”

Argonas moved just a bit further inside as Sylaess joined him at the cave’s entrance. He pressed his back to the wall, and exhaled a weary sigh. The Maw was taxing; he expected as much. But he had thought it would be taxing on his soul alone, not his body. And yet moving in this place felt like a chore. His body was an encumbrance, unfit for such a place. The Death Knights and Sinafay had no such burdens upon them; the former eternally strong and used to the feeling of willing their corporeal forms around. And Sinafay clearly didn’t have one to slow her down. Despite his physique, he felt fatigue deeply in this wretched place.

His soul was lifted, at least, as he looked to Sinafay. Getting this far was such a boon! Inspiring! He knew he would find a way to save her from this place. With her free from the Tremaculum, their journey was halfway done! He smiled at her, finding the fortitude to see this through.

Sinafay, for her part, seemed oblivious to everything around her. Everything but Argonas, anyway. Her tail swayed, eyes never leaving him. She didn’t know how many years she’d been in the Maw for, or even what it corresponded to on Azeroth. Argonas certainly looked older… or perhaps it was the beard? She noted some new scars on his features, and the longer hair! Her hand reached forward, but the ghostly limb simply moved through him.

She sighed. What she wouldn’t give to have her body back right now. Despite her disappointment in now being able to touch him, she returned his smile. That sight alone was enough to wash away the weariness of her soul.

“We shouldn’t stay long, regardless. We need to find Sinafay a vessel of some kind, otherwise we won’t be able to pull her from this place.” Avehi replied to Sylaess, tail swaying in unease. “First, however, we’ll follow the group up the pathways you mentioned. Hopefully, it’ll lead to a way out of this place. In searching for both… maybe we’ll get lucky and find Raetos, too.”

This place was grating. It was the longest Avehi had spent beyond the veil, and it wore on her. The whispers were far too reminiscent of the Lich King’s reign. Worse, somehow. She hated it.

“What do you think, Sylaess?”

“Yeah.” She side-eyed Argonas a moment. Offered him one of the neatly wrapped packages. She could be empathetic to his situation. It mustn't be fun. Wrapping her gauntlet around the spear, she slipped out into the bleak air. Quiet, despite wearing so much armor, and rather light on her feet. Seems she had recovered enough dignity to look professional. A single glance back was all she gave before she struck out. Scouting ahead.

It wasn’t until the hooded figure came near and handed Argonas a package. Sina tilted her head, taking a closer look at the figure.

“Syl?”

She glanced back, but hurried herself out. Nope. At risk of looking like she had just legitimately run away from a ghost, she tugged her hood and stepped it out. Aimed to melt into the motley grey and bleak of the landscape.

Not much use--anyone living stood out here. At least, in her own perspective. The dead carried a very certain...

What was it, exactly? Aura? No. It was something else. She just bloody knew.

The eyes on her back raising the fine hairs at her nape was really making her begin to grind her teeth.

“The Jailer will have--!”

She didn’t hear the rest of it. Took a mace to the head. Her stolen spear went skittering across the stones as if borne by a flood of spiders. Watched it skitter from her descending view.

Well, fuck.

The runes along her armor exploded into that terrible light. Pale blue, like her eyes had once been. Blaringly bright in this place. A massive spike of ice shot up under the scout--was it a scout? Who cares.--and through it’s oddly fleshy body. Syl stood up, roughly brushing herself off with a grunt. Scooped her spear. “I think we need to go now.” The mild displeasure in her voice was clear as the sun. Vicious self mocking at its best. These ... people? Whatever. Assholes, more like, came from thin air it seemed. Sometimes.

Sinafay couldn’t help but smile to herself. Yes, this was most definitely Sylaess. She’d fought along side the Kal’dorei long enough to recognize her movements in a fight.

It was a bad sign that they’d been found already, though Sinafay wasn’t all that surprised. She stood up and walked over to the mouth of the cave to stand next to Argonas. Instinctively, her hand reached out for his… and of course passed right through.

“She is right. We are out of time. Where is our escape located?”

#character story #The Maw #Argonas #Avehi #Sylaess #Sinafay #Shadowlands

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pretendingboyfriends · 4 years

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I Promise - Pt III

A/N: JUST A LITTLE PSA, I TOOK MOST OF ALEX’S POV FROM THE DUNKIRK MOVIE SO I COULD MAKE IT AS ACCURATE AS POSSIBLE. ok i hope u enjoy!:)

Word Count: 3.7k+

Warnings: war, angst

Alex

A fog settled over the large expanse of ocean creating an unsettling silence as we slowly trudged along the crowded platform. Thousands of men stretched across the bridge, all begging to board the ship and escape from the island of hell. As I watched the scene before me and continued to shove forward along with everyone else, I clutched the small piece of paper in my hand. The one thing that had kept me going throughout these dreadful months, a photograph of Y/N. I had snipped it from a family photo her mother had gifted me right before I left. It truly did no justice to her beauty, crumpled and damaged by water and grime but I could still make out her smiling features, soft hair, and delicate arms resting by her sides.

I heard a shout from several feet in front of me and suddenly everyone around me began to shove harder, desperate to reach the ship. I turned to the man beside me,“What’d he say?”

“Five minutes 'till departure,” The man grunted, shoving through the other men harshly and disappearing into the sea of round, metal helmets. I sighed and shoved the crumpled photograph back into my coat pocket. I need to get on that bloody ship.

Luckily, I wasn’t too far from the entrance of the ship and was able to push my way through to the front. The men waiting by the ramp onto the ship, quickly ushered me through along with a few other men. I thanked them quietly.

Almost as soon as my foot hit the deck of the ship, the screeching of airplanes approaching overhead caused everyone to look up to the sky. Men began screaming and running for shelter and the thousands of soldiers standing on the platform ducked down in unison. Panic washed over me as I watched the planes approach rapidly. Men all around me were thrusting themselves off the side of the ship and into the water in fear, and then the enemy began to fire. Destruction began at the bridge but was quickly moving closer and closer to the ship. Taking my chances, I threw myself over the edge and into the freezing water below. The explosions above me were muffled through the water as I attempted to stay under for as long as I could. My lungs burned and my entire body began to go numb from the freezing temperature of the water. I surfaced, treading through the water as the ship slowly began to fall. I panicked, flailing my arms in an attempt to swim away.

“Grab on to my hand, mate!”

I looked up to see a soldier reaching out to me as he held onto the pillars of the bridge. I swam towards him as fast as I could and grasped his hand tightly. He pulled me up onto the pillars beside him and I choked and sputtered on the water that had been caught in my lungs, my chest heaving with my labored breaths. Neither of us said anything as we waited for the chaos to subside.

Soon, someone was calling to us over the edge of the bridge and we were brought to another, smaller boat. That boat brought us and about 20 other men to a larger ship, similar to the first one. A woman greeted us as we boarded, placing blankets and life jackets into our hands and leading us down into the ship. Hundreds of us crowded together as we were handed bread slices coated with jam and metal mugs of tea.

There wasn’t much we could do except stand, eat, and talk. We spoke of our home lives and where we were from. I found out the soldier’s name was Tommy and mentioned its similarity to my best mate back home. We also made casual conversation with a few soldiers around us.

“Any of you lads got a bird at home?” One of the men asked as he munched on his third slice of bread. Half of them shook their heads and the others began raving about their girls, reaching into their coats for letters and photographs. I took the photograph of Y/N from my coat and passed it to Tommy.

“This your bird?” He asked, studying the picture carefully. I nodded a small smile gracing my features.

“Oi, lemme get a look at ‘er,” another man called, snatching the picture from Tommy. They passed the small photo around, gushing over her beauty and I couldn’t help but swell with pride. Once the photo was passed back to me, I placed it safely back into the pocket of my coat.

“How’d you meet her?” I ran a hand through my damp hair,

“Her brother and I have been best mates our whole lives and I guess I just got lucky.” He opened his mouth to respond, but the words never came, instead we were all suddenly and violently thrown against the wall as something collided with the side of the ship. The already dim lights flickered off and the soldiers began shouting about a torpedo and scrambling to escape. A giant gust of water suddenly broke through the side and we were engulfed into it within seconds. I had no time to think before I was trapped beneath the water, struggling to reach the emergency escape door.

Suddenly, there was a light above us coming from the door and Tommy was quickly swimming towards it. I swam as hard as I could to catch up with him and soon we were swept up into the water spilling back into the sea as the ship sunk deeper and deeper. Parts of the ship were exploding all around us as we swam away frantically. Soldiers screamed in terror throwing themselves into the ocean and swimming towards the smaller boats that surrounded the ship. We tried to climb into the closest boat but one of the soldiers pushed us away, refusing to let us on. They told us to stay where we were, floating in the water and promised to come back for us once they reached the beach but one of the soldiers threw a rope out into the water and whispered to grab onto it.

Finally, we were back on land, sprawled out along the beach in exhaustion from swimming all night long. Tommy, his comrade, and I all sat along the shore, staring out into the sea. We watched a lone soldier stumble towards the water, leaving his helmet and life vest behind before entering the violent waves and never returning.

I caught sight of a few soldiers marching towards a boat and quickly pushed myself to stand, running towards them. Tommy and his friend followed close behind me as we joined them. We came across an abandoned fishing boat and one of the soldiers instructed us to climb inside.

“We’ve got to wait for the tide to come in so it’ll take us out to sea,” A man said in a thick scottish accent.

“How long’ll that take?” I asked, stepping down into the bottom of the ship behind Tommy.

“Comes in every three hours, mate.” He retorted and I huffed out a frustrated sigh.

I had noticed that there was something different about Tommy’s friend. He had yet to speak a single word to me or Tommy and I found it off-putting. He wore a british soldier’s uniform, but he didn’t seem to know exactly what we were saying. He just stood back and observed with wide, fear filled eyes. I didn’t trust him at all.

We waited there for what seemed like hours, just leaning against the sides in silence, too exhausted to make a sound. Suddenly, a gunshot was heard and the sound of metal pelting against metal jolted all of us from our slightly relaxed state. We looked at each other in fear and confusion before another gunshot rang out, causing several bullet sized holes to form near the end of the boat. None of us knew why they were shooting at us. Surely the enemy hadn’t seen us entering the boat, so why were they shooting at us?

As if he’d read my mind, Tommy mumbled something along the lines of, “Target practice,” and I glanced back at the group of bullet holes. He was right. The holes were too close together for them to be aiming to hurt us.

The shots continued, every pang of metal on metal causing all of us to cower in fear. We were trapped. If we tried to leave, we would be killed instantly. After hours of fear filled silence water began to pour from the small holes, causing us to spiral into even more of a panic than before. We hadn’t even realized that the tide had come in and taken us out to sea and now it was too late. We were sinking.

“We’ve got to plug it!” I whispered, looking around at the other men.

“After you, mate.” The soldier beside me mumbled right before several shots fired out and hit the boat once again. We certainly couldn’t plug the holes, one of us could easily get shot. In order to stop us from sinking, we needed to lose weight.

“Weight! We need to lose weight!” I exclaimed, “Somebody needs to get off,” They all looked around at each other nervously.

“What, like a volunteer?”

I shook my head, “We don’t need a volunteer, I know someone who oughta get off.” I turned to Tommy’s friend, pointing my finger at him, “This one. He’s a german spy,”

“Don’t be daft,” Tommy quickly interjected.

“Have you noticed he hasn’t said a word? He can’t speak english!”

“You’re daft,” He shook his head, nudging the culprit, “Tell him,”

My blood was boiling. Because of him, I might not be going home. It was selfish, really, but I wasn’t going to keep my mouth shut until I got the truth out of him.

“Yeah,” I yanked the rifle from the man hunched beside me, “Tell me.” I held the gun to his face, jaw clenched from rage,“Tell me!” He staggered backwards, shivering with fear,

“France,” he whimpered in a heavy accent, “France.”

“A bloody frog!” I fumed, grabbed his tags, “And where’s Gibson? Some naked, dead englishman?”

By that point, the water was nearly to our knees and all the other men stood behind me, just as fuming as I was. Several more shots rang out and we all ducked to the floor.

“The fuck are we gonna do now?”

“Somebody’s still gotta get off,” I responded, lunging at the man, “Go on, get off!” I clutched his coat and shoved him towards the ladder, but Tommy pushed me away.

“You can’t do that!”

“Better him than me,” I snarled, thrusting him against it.

“S’not fair!” Tommy whinged, attempting to push me away. “Survival’s not fair! I’m not thinking about his safety, I'm thinking about mine! I’ve got a girl back home. If I die, it’s not fair to her! Nothing about this bloody war is fair!” The water was rising faster and faster, reaching our chests. The other men began to shove him against the ladder just as I did, threatening him. I turned to Tommy,

“Somebody’s gotta get off so the rest of us can live. We’re all the same here except for him. If you want to go home, we’ve got to get him off.”

“We’re not going to make it regardless!” He spat back, shaking his head, “And I’m not gonna live knowing I was the reason an innocent man was killed.”

“The rest of us are brothers, mate. There’s nothing else we can do.” As soon as the words escaped my lips, the man lunged at another holding a rifle, causing the rest of them men to pull against him to get him off. They all began to lean to one side and the boat sunk deeper, filled to our necks with water. We panicked, swimming towards the holes to plug them as best we could. There were too many holes and not enough men.

We had to get off, no matter the consequences. If we left, we had more of a chance of survival than we did going down with it. So, I quickly swam to the ladder, climbing through the exit.

Finally, I had escaped the boat, jumping into the murky, oil filled water below and swimming towards the nearest boat. I watched as other soldiers were tugged onto it and safely brought below deck, so I swam faster despite my aching muscles. A young boy grasped my arm once I reached the boat and pulled me on board, leading me below deck to safety.

At some point Tommy ended up with me and the other men below deck and we nodded to each other in silent greeting. His French comrade was nowhere to be found.

We travelled for hours and hours until dusk was upon us and then we finally reached land. Not a word was spoken as we were led to the trains and given food and blankets. We were all ashamed. We didn’t fight, all we did was survive. We were cowards and everyone was going to know it.

Although I felt ashamed, in that moment I was far too exhausted to think of anything but sleep. Slowly my eyelids became heavier and heavier and I drifted off to sleep. I dreamt of Y/N just like I had every night since the war started.

When I awoke, I was greeted by a man frantically knocking against the glass window. I avoided eye contact with him, hoping he would leave eventually. I assumed he was there to harass us, so I didn’t dare look at him until I heard the clanking of glass above my head. Looking up, I saw the man holding two beers through the small opening of the window. I took the bottles carefully, passing one of them to Tommy and gulping down my own. We approached the station and hundreds of people waved and cheered. It was not the ‘welcome home’ I was expecting.

Y/N

Since I’d found out about the Dunkirk evacuation, I’d actively avoided anything to do with Alex. Thomas had come home early because of an injury and I had taken it upon myself to be his nurse while he healed. That was one of the ways I distracted myself, but another was spending more and more time with James. Things with him were becoming serious. He told me he loved me and I told him I loved him back, even though I knew it was a lie. I was settling. I had turned into the girl who settled for the first guy in sight and I hated myself for it. James was kind and loving and I knew he would be a wonderful husband and father, but I didn’t love him.

It was stupid, really. I was nineteen, I had my entire life ahead of me but I chose to settle for a man I didn’t love with a life I didn’t want to have. But at that point, I didn’t care. I truly didn’t believe I would ever find anyone like Alex.

I leaned over the bathroom sink, smoothing a muted red color onto my lips. Pulling back from the mirror, I smacked my lips together and studied my features to make sure nothing was out of place. James was on his way to pick me up and take me out to a nice dinner and I’d picked out a red, velvet, short sleeved dress that James had bought for me at the beginning of the summer. I paired it with a simple set of black heels and had Mother style my hair into perfect curls.

“What time did he say he was coming?” Mother asked as she prepared dinner for the rest of the family.

“6:15,” I mumbled, fixing my lipstick one last time before pulling on my gloves and grabbing my small purse. I dropped the small capsule of lipstick into my purse and glanced down at my small watch.

6:10

“You seem eager,” Mother observed.

“Just a little nervous,” I hummed, peering out the window through the curtains and spotting his shiny, expensive car pulling in. “There he is, I’ll see you tonight, mum. Love you.” And with that I was flinging the door open and shuffling down the porch to his car. He had begun to walk up through the yard and stopped when he saw me.

“Well, I was gonna give your mum these flowers and pick you up at the door,”

I smiled, “Oh, it’s alright. I’ll bring them in when you take me home.”

He nodded and quickly tugged me into his chest by my waist, pressing a quick peck to my lips. “You look absolutely stunning, my love.”

I blushed and swatted at his chest, biting back a smile,“Oh shut up.”

He chuckled and helped me into the passenger seat of his car before settling into the driver’s seat. He took my right hand and pressed his lips to the cloth of my glove without a word.

The restaurant was extremely fancy, ordained in crystal chandeliers and pristine, white tablecloths. I felt completely out of place surrounded by elegant women and their fur scarves draped neatly over their shoulders as they stared me down. They knew I didn’t belong there either. James didn’t seem to pay any mind to them, though, politely pulling my chair out for me and kissing my rosy cheek.

We dined like royalty, sipping gracefully at our glasses of wine as we spoke about our days. James rambled about building his own house and I pretended to be interested in his plans. Occasionally, he would reach for my hand, tugging it across the table and pressing a kiss to the back of it whilst staring into my eyes. I smiled and swatted my hand at him, flustered at his sudden public display of affection. And just to make me even more flustered he reached underneath the table and brushed his fingertips along the inside of my knee, causing me to squeal. It was all innocent and I intended to keep it that way for as long as possible.

As we pulled up to my house, James reached into the back of the car and pulled out the bouquet of flowers he had for Mother before stepping out of the car and quickly rounding it to open my door. I thanked him quietly and we walked to the door.

I watched as he and my mother made lighthearted conversation, removing my thin sweater, gloves, and purse and hanging them by the door. I admired the way James spoke to people. He was very well put together and I was lucky to be with him. He was considerate of everyone around him, not just himself. He was every girl’s dream.

After Mother busied herself with finding a container for the flowers, James returned to my side, gently wrapping his arm around my waist and pressing a kiss to my cheekbone.

“Let’s go out on the porch.” He whispered into my ear and I looked up at him. His demeanor had changed slightly. He seemed slightly less playful than he had been before.

“Okay,”

Stepping out into the night, the chilled summer breeze caressed my skin, causing a slight shiver to creep down my spine. I leaned myself against the railing surrounding the porch, gazing out into the silence as James pressed himself behind me and wrapped his strong arms around my waist. He dropped his chin onto my shoulder, lips ghosting the side of my neck,

“Did you enjoy dinner?” He asked, inhaling the scent of my shampoo subtly. I hummed in affirmation, subconsciously leaning my head to one side as he nosed at my skin. We stayed like that for a few moments, just basking in the calm night until he spoke again.“I need to ask you something,”

I turned around when he said that, my back pressed against the railing as I furrowed my brow slightly,“What is it?”

He breathed in deeply and took both my hands into his,“I know we haven’t known each other for very long a-and I don’t need an immediate answer, but…” He reached into his pocket, clutching something in his hand tightly, “Ever since I laid eyes on you for the first time, I knew I had to have you. I truly believe you are my soulmate and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

I watched apathetically as he kneeled in front of me, holding up a small box with a large diamond ring nestled inside. He continued to speak, but his words were drowned out from the sound of my thumping heartbeat. I didn’t want to marry him. I wasn’t in love with him.

He finished speaking, his hand still clutching mine tightly as he watched me closely. I didn’t have to hear him to know what he had asked.

“Yes.”

As soon as he processed the word that had wheezed passed my lips, his arms were around me, spinning me in a circle.

“Oh, I’m so glad you said yes,” He whispered, still holding me tightly. His spinning came to a gentle halt and he set me down onto my feet again, cupping my face with his hands and kissing me tenderly. I took a deep breath, faking a smile as he pulled away and wrapped his arms around me once again. My arms circled his neck and looked straight ahead of me to the yard expecting darkness to stare back; but I was met with a pair of familiar eyes. I knew those eyes. Those large, green eyes that lit up anytime I was around. Those beautiful, beautiful eyes. Alex’s eyes.

He was covered in grime from head to toe, still wearing his uniform. The small bouquet of wildflowers that he clutched in his hand fell to the ground as we made eye contact and then he was gone. Turning quickly and disappearing into the shadows, leaving the slightly wilted flowers in the dirt. I had no time to react, one thing replaying in my mind. Alex was alive.

and ofc, thank u to my wonderful beta readers @goldenfeelin , @queeniebish , @youflower-youfeast , and @m-ram21 !!!

taglist: @httpsmoony @summer-evening-harry

#harry styles smut #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #one direction fanfiction #one direction #alex dunkirk #alex dunkirk fanfic #dunkirk fanfiction #harry styles fluff

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muesliforbreakfast · 3 years

Text

the Last EVA of David Shaw

Another HFY story.

Fabian tactics pt. II and III hopefully coming soon.

We Lost the Sea - the Last dive of David Shaw

Inspired by the gallantry of David Shaw

As was tradition at a wake in the Scutum Sagittarius arm of the galaxy, Shaw's friends and family were intoxicated and inebriated, sharing drink and song and story of their best times with him. He didn't have much family, but Dee was a brother to him.

“From when we met I think we were always destined to be friends,” he began, with the attention of most of the alien attendees and a couple of humans firmly on him, “We were the only two mammalians on station so we had a lot of similar needs.”

He thought back to their first meeting, in the recreation hall of the orbital mining station; the station itself was just cold enough to be uncomfortable for both of them.

- - - - - - - - - -

“Cardio day?” The almost six foot human male asked Dee, as he stepped onto a treadmill.

“Yeah isn't it the worst?” Dee responded, from his elevated exercise wheel.

“The worst. But it's gotta be done. Enjoy man.”

The man ran for over a half hour, at a pace that Dee would never have been able to match. Which was to be expected, given that he was over six times larger.

By the time he was done Dee was stretching and doing calisthenics. They were the only workers in attendance that day.

“Does every human run that fast?” He asked, as the man approached the area set up for stretching, toweling off his hair that was drenched in sweat.

“It's our long legs. Name's Shaw.” He responded with a short bow.

“Drakhehz. Others call me Dee.”

“Dee it is then.”

- - - - - - - - - -

“That was the first time I saw a human run. Damn they run fast. And long.” Dee regaled them with the tale of their meeting, “He always used to call himself a gym rat. It took him a while to call me that; I laughed when I found out why, I mean us Dreyer look more like ferrets when you think about it.”

“It's hard to believe that humans can bond over something as simple as getting exercise together isn't it?” Katachine, another guest of another species said.

“Sure, that's how we met but it was more than that. We really got along. We had this spot where we would sit and have those long philosophical conversations.”

- - - - - - - - - -

“What do you think it all means?” Shaw asked, reclining against the bulkhead, bottle of whiskey in hand.

“I think it means what you want it to mean.” Dee responded, sitting on Shaw's shoulder, with a smaller plastic flask of the same human whiskey. Strong stuff.

They were looking out into the abyss of the universe; light from a million stars travelling distances of a million years to finally rain gently on them in their repose.

“Well, tell me what that is?”

Dee thought for a while before finally responding.

“It's superstition and it's tied back to our history, how we were burrowing pack animals and what that meant to our evolution. In our religions the most important thing was community. On our planet we literally survive off the warmth of our community. We would never leave overnight, because none of us can survive alone. That idea lasted, well, we were already spacefaring when our society stopped believing it was more than a metaphor.”

Shaw sat patiently and listened, sipping whiskey straight from the bottle.

“Go on.”

“Well, we believe... We used to believe the same for our... Well we call it our Essence. That once we die we return with what we've seen and what we've known, and we're all stronger together for it. The idea is to go out and learn and finally return. We used to be burrowing animals, so the proverb in our culture is that none of us has to dig alone.”

They both gazed out into the emptiness and the vastness.

“Your turn.”

“Most of our superstitions brought meaning to our lives, but not to the universe. I'm still figuring it all out. Mostly I just treat others how I would like to be treated, and act the way I would like to be remembered.”

“That's a good rule.”

“On earth we call it the golden rule. Uh. Gold was rare and precious on earth. Uh. We used to use it for currency.”

“It's a great rule, I'm sorry to hear that people who followed it were so rare.”

Shaw had laughed uncontrollably at that.

- - - - - - - - - -

“We used to work out together and he was damn good at his job. But It's those other times which are how I'll remember him.” Dee finished, before quietly tittering, the involuntary expression of grief common in his species.

“To Shaw, and how he'll be remembered!” Katachine exclaimed loudly, lifting a glass of verdant liquid to the sky.

- - - - - - - - - -

“I remember the last time I spoke to him.” Smith said quietly, his slick amphibian skin glistening in the warm lights.

Smith had been sitting in his office in a panic, fielding requests and reports and the carrying out of emergency protocols, while trying to locate the last of his missing personnel.

“We have 73 accounted for, that means we're missing one... Who are we missing!!” He called over the holocom system.

That had been the moment that Shaw had burst in the room.

“Smith! We're missing Dee... Uh. Drakhehz. Last I saw him he was headed East towards the grounding pylons. I need you to clear me to head out to get him!”

Smith had stared at him blankly, frozen for a moment before exploding.

“ABSOFUCKINGLUTELYNOT!! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND?!” he paused for a moment to calm himself, “I cannot risk you heading back out there with a solar flare AND A CORIOLIS STORM happening at the same time! I cannot lose more crew you understand? I can not, I will not!”

“Smith, are you aware of the situation?”

“Of course I am! I've read the reports!”

The unexpected solar flare had come at the worst possible moment; shutting down the auxiliary half of the shielding system while the primary half was down for maintenance. It had then destroyed the battery bank for the eastern sector of the gas mining station, before the coriolis storm had sheared all but three of the structural supports that held the station together. Micrometeors were occasionally peppering the unshielded portion of the station. Anyone caught there for too long was as good as dead, but for now the chances were still good that Dee was still alive.

The only way to reach Dee would be by EVA. Shaw explained his plan.

“That's MADness. Don't fucking do it!”

- - - - - - - - - -

Smith reflected on the last words he had said, before Shaw had left his office.

“I'm sorry Dee. If Shaw had followed my directives we would have left you to die.”

Dee was still tittering on his elevated cushion.

“... I... I understand. I can't hold it against you.”

The cruelty of randomness had ensured that Dee had made it out when Shaw hadn't. They had all heard his last words.

- - - - - - - - - -

“Little Dee! Little Dee! There you are!”

Shaw and Dee had their own little spot in the eastern sector. Where they kept the whiskey and biscuits, and some biltong for Shaw. He knew this would be the place to find Dee.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE ARE YOU CRAZY!! THERE'S NO WAY BACK!!”

“Relax ya little fuzzball, there's a way.”

Dee started nervously hyperventilating.

“There's no way back Shaw. You didn't need to come here and... Fucking... DIE with me.” He managed to say, breathing hard between words.

“Ease up fuzzball. We're gonna make it. How much air you got?” Shaw responded casually.

“I... Have... Twenty... Minutes...”

“Guess again little Dee.” He responded, turning to display three extra cylinders in Dreyer size, and one extra human sized cylinder.

Dee could feel optimism creep back into his psyche.

“So if we get the shields and grav repulsors up and running again we can ride out the storm and be retrieved as soon as they can get a rescue team out here.”

“Bad news. The battery array is totally fried.”

“Thought so. So we have to EVA out of here. Before the support pylons come apart. Those are some slim chances Shawdog. I don't like it.”

“Cheer up fuzzball. Two minutes ago your chances were zero. Now they're really slim. We're dealing with one crisis at a time today.”

“One crisis at a time. So what's our next crisis?”

“The fact that we're still here. Let's get out.”

Dee giggled elatedly. The plan was as simple as an EVA trip back to the shielded side of the station. It was risky, but not a death sentence.

They took a moment to have a snack, before hauling themselves along the lee side of the module in zero G. The work was easy, but the risk of micrometeors still weighed heavily on Dee's psyche.

They reached the spot where Shaw had secured the tethers, then took turns securing a tether each to their EVA suits.

They began their slow cautious climb across the span between the main station and the eastern sector.

“Shaw from rescue control! Shower of micrometeors impacting in less than a minute across your position over!” Smith warned over the radio.

“Not much we can do, keep moving!” Dee heard him call a half dozen meters behind him. Moving hand over hand across the gap, heartbeat pounding in his skull and his shallow puffs of breath filling his helmet. Every couple of meters he looked behind him to check on Shaw.

“Stop looking and move fuzzball!” Shaw called out over the radio, “Don't worry I know the way ba- FUCK!”

Shaw's words were punctuated by a thrumming vibration through the structural supports, but they still seemed to be intact. As Dee looked back he could no longer see Shaw, until he looked down and saw him falling away, featureless in the distance now.

“Reel in Shaw's tether!!” Dee called out.

“Keep moving, little bro.” Shaw responded.

Dee tittered as he moved frantically along the structural support, using the tether to pull himself along now and then, using pylons and poles at other times.

“Shaw this is rescue control,” the radio buzzed out, “We've retracted what's left of your tether. What is your trajectory? Over.”

“I'm drifting. I'm falling.” the response.

“NO!” Dee cried out. “We have to go get him! Shaw! We're coming for you!”

“Dee. I need you to listen to me.” He responded, in a calm, resigned voice.

“It's over. I'm not going to make it and you know it. I got you back to your clan little bro. Today that's what matters. You won't have to dig alone. Over.”

“It's not fair you moron! A life for a life isn't fair.” He cried out in anguish. “Fucking. Over.”

The sound of breathing came out over the radio as Shaw held onto the transmit button. After a few moments he spoke his last words.

“It's alright little Dee, I got my little brother out. I have a whole gas giant as my headstone. A hell of a monument. I can't see the stars anymore Dee. I'll see you on the other side. Shaw out.”

Dee kept climbing across the structure, tittering and sobbing as tears clouded his sight. Shaw had held onto the transmit button as he fell. His transmission ended before Dee could make it to rescue control.

He paused for a moment across the chasm.

“Good bye Shaw. And thank you. Over.”

Then he continued his climb to safety.

_________________

Too many of my stories are focussed on dudes who shoot and stab other dudes. It makes for good fiction, I guess, but not a good way to live. The story of David Shaw and Deon Dreyer isn't fiction. Some stories here focus on our pack bonding with other species, risking our lives for them etc. I find it absolutely mind boggling that this guy risked his life to make sure that another man might get a proper burial. But I wanted this story to have a happier ending than that one.

#HFY #humanity fuck yeah #Fiction #An exercise in writing #We Lost the Sea

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druid-for-hire · 5 years

Photo

UNSWAYED PT. IV

(pt. i) (pt. ii) (pt. iii) (pt. v) (epilogue) (askblog)

this update consists of a bit of the trek back to hadestown and the workers’ revolution that lasts the summer until persephone’s return in the fall, and being granted the chance to leave at last--to leave for real.

thank you so so much to all my friends @supercantaloupe, @unholy-boi (who helped write the Riots sect), @damondaunnodyke, & @s-aint-elmo

persephone has left again and sets to repairing the world up Top after the hurricane, now that she’s helped the lovers.

orpheus and eurydice are... on the exodus from the Beyond. it’s a long road--it’s a long walk. takes a week or two.

kampê slinks into the shadows and hides, bitter, among the smokestacks. she hurts and she fears. hades will come for her, she knows, but she knows this place far better than he--that man barely checks up (hence how her grip on the place has gotten out of control), hasn’t been there for all of the rearrangements and updates in centuries. she knows where to hide. he will not find her in her domain. this is her darkness.

the imagery of the Exodus is very much akin to/inspired by the same Exodus of the movie Prince of Egypt. u kno that one?

looks like this, yeah, but like... obviously without the fish, because the walls aren’t made of ocean in this au, they’re just rock

and orpheus and eurydice leading the pack, shadowed looks of determination on their faces

again: this is where Promises (But Sadder) happens

as eurydice takes orpheus back to the main parts of hadestown, she notices too many things: his legs tremble, his hands shake, he breathes just barely too hard and clears his throat and coughs too much; and as they talk about the small things to fill some of the quiet, orpheus asks “what’d you say?” too often

(it’s hearing damage babey!)

of course, no one is spared from the hardships of hadestown. but she... does not like seeing those scars on orpheus

this long walk is also the time they tell each other everything that happened to them since they last saw each other

reminder: orpheus is still weak & kinda sick! and it’s a long walking journey. and everyone’s tired. sometimes they all sit down and camp for the “night” or something.

the beyond’s not been kind to him; he’s pale as a corpse, with sunken eyes and hollow cheeks, looks as dead as he feels

(really, all the other workers from the Beyond don’t look much better)

it’s kind of a spooky sight when they stop for a few hours and he lays down to take a rest. the state he’s in...

and eurydice is a fairly good singer--nowhere near on orpheus’ (former) level, but good, and she probably sings him small tunes here and there just for the two of them, to relax and comfort and what have you

@axolotlbeans: at some point they stop for the “night” and orpheus collapses; eurydice, who’d been singing, gathers him in her arms and says, "Orpheus, you're shivering; is it cold or fear?"

and he interrupts her, burying his face into her neck and softly rasps "Just keep singing" in the smallest, weakest voice

when they arrive. it is... a lot.

the long train of people is... heavily distracting. and they seem to come out of nowhere--a lot of hadestown wasn’t even aware there was a Beyond ‘till orpheus got banished, and then they didn’t know the name or what it was, just that he got banished somewhere. even the foremen turn to see; everyone’s sort of like. uh. what the hell is going on? and work sort of stalls out a little bit

eurydice and orpheus go straight to hades and present their demands to let them go. let them all go. blah blah blah some other stuff it probably sounds fairer than that, i don’t have the brain energy to outline all their demands specifically

by the slightly edited words of my good friend supercanteloupe:

let us go, eurydice demands, and hades just laughs, jailbirds like themselves don’t get their freedom so easily. get back to work, songbird, and don’t let the foreman know you’ve been slacking. and all of the rest of you... you’d better return before you’re made to return.

they go, but they’re not done, not by a long shot.

they don’t go back to work.

orpheus cannot sing, but he is still a poet, and the workers have their voices too

the bristling unrest of Hadestown begins to develop into protests, and the protests turn into riots.

orpheus can craft all the words eurydice needs to say with her spirited and powerful voice, to hit every point to cause uprisings and to stab every point to whittle hades down

hades notices things are beginning to go wrong. machine malfunctions, damaged, outright broken; strikes, sit-ins. rolling blackouts. eurydice and orpheus come back and back, with more and more workers, the ones they led out from the beyond and the ones from the factories and mines, always to demand: let us go.

and hades grows only more calloused and bitter. you failed your test, you don't get second chances. Players who break the rules are banned from play.

and every time they turn back, back to their increased workloads and their stricter overseers and their hope now stretching thin, and their anger growing more

ok back to me writing: but enough pushing, and even the overseers are beginning to turn.

the furies, infamous guardswomen and union busters, are doing their best to do damage control. and they are fierce. they are vicious, nearly (but not quite) as bad as kampê, and there are three of them--but then there are only three of them, and they cannot possibly control every single instance of revolt when the ball gets rolling

eurydice and orpheus are now the leaders of rebellion, and both of them are marked for banishment. they have to run from god-king hades and stay out of the unrelenting sights of the Furies.

(and this also means they can’t work or the foremen still on hades’ side might turn em in. so they catch a break and a nap, finally, jesus christ)

but.

there is trouble (For hades) in the fact that kampê has practically gone missing. no matter how many are sent to the Beyond, now there is no one to stop them from just... making the trip back. sure. it takes a long time. about a week or so of walking, but they just... come back.

hades takes notice. hades visits the Beyond for the first time in so long and tries to find her, to no avail. the Beyond is far changed than when he last saw it and he does not have the time to spend to find her--he cannot step away from his children for more than a few hours, lest something go wrong again. this is just another inconvenience on his long, long list.

@lookoutitsregan: “they're legally allowed to leave after 15 minutes”

orpheus and eurydice will be dealt with by himself, and so they run--avoid him as much as they can, hide under his radar

by the words of unholy-boi: hades will not let go of his empire so easily. the building pressure only makes him clench his fists tighter, bend his back further, push further to his own breaking point (and towards everyone else’s).

he’s more likely to go down screaming that he isn’t, more likely to cling hard and furious to his city, push his workers into the dirt and further lose persephone in the process, the further this goes, the more against him, the more likely he is to furiously, dangerously fight back.

as summer turns late, hadestown doesn’t soften like hades may have had it for persephone in years long since past, hadestown turns from city to warzone

ok back to me again

for the songbirds: there’s the riots and them narrowly escaping hades like all the damn time while he pushes everyone else to their limits

and yet they refuse to be pushed and usurp their foremen as fast as he reinstates things

revolutions usually have unifying symbols of a sort, and the many isolated revolts do eventually coalesce into this all being an outright revolution--a workers’ movement, if you will.

the red carnation. though they don’t have it, they all remember seeing in orpheus’ hand before he was banished--the one solid sliver of the aboveground anyone saw in a long time

@s-aint-elmo: the red carnation becomes their symbol--though they don’t have it, they paint it in hidden alleyways and abandoned factory walls. they have red paper flowers and red cloth tucked into pockets and tool belts

or the red of some banner that waves in the acrid smoke-wind of hadestown’s false air fronts

flowers, painted and made and substituted, are cropping up all over hadestown, and in increasingly more obvious spots. life is blooming in the underground for the first time in so long

OH ALSO, another fun layer of symbolism with the red cloths:

in the staging of actual hadestown, when orpheus sings "and they're gonna bend their branches down and lay their fruit upon the ground; the almond and the apple, the sugar and the maple" the ensemble is on the tables, reaching over eurydice like tree branches in a sort of ^ formation; on "almond" and "apple," the first two layers pull out and dangle white cloth, but on "sugar from the maple," the dude at the top dangles a red one and drops it into eurydice's hands

so there’s that!

also being the bounty of spring above...... rejecting the underworld. some shit like that

in a musical there’d definitely be a sort of revolution song

like uhhh... Why We Build the Wall II. it’s Different this time. it’s not about the circular logic of the wall, it’s about rebelling against the order hades has set for them

There’s so many lines that can be drawn from elsewhere in the musical to be inserted into this

Why do we build the wall, my brothers, my sisters?

He said the wall would bring us peace, the wall would keep out the enemy.

mister hades set us free to work ourselves into the ground. a lot of souls have gotta die to make the underworld go round.

why are we digging out own graves for a living, if we're free tell me why we can't even stand upright?

some sort of rebellion/callback against “who are you to think that you can hold your head up higher than your fellow man?”

i’m gonna count to three, and then i’ll raise my head, singin’, one, two--!

(except they probably finish the count in this one)

also, because i am weak for really great chords being belted out by a big chorus and hearing every voice part slot together, because this is a revolution song with lots of people i think it should have that

everybody 👏knows 👏the 👏walls 👏have 👏ears 👏

thank u supercanteloupe & s-aint-elmo for ur additions on this

the fates’ voices still carry on the wind, hadestown’s false air fronts of stale and acrid air, but orpheus and eurydice have since learned to turn their backs to it

ALSO? Flags

with the revolution coming to span A Really Big Chunk of hadestown, most likely more than half, there’d probably be people putting up flags and banners

i’m just like, inspired by the imagery of the flag raisings in wwii and post-9/11, and also i’m thinking of les mis/french revolution in general not gonna lie

sure, the Furies are union-busters and come after any sign of revolution, but every revolution is a fight against something. there’s always blood spilled, what different is this one?

they can’t be everywhere at once and they’re not like the Fates--they get tired, they’re not omnipresent and omniscient, the people are not powerless

the flag is supposed to attract attention, the point is to be loud

and by god, they are screaming

this is what a steel mill looks like at night. hadestown was sort of already in a hazy blaze, but combo this with a revolution in its midst, with fighting and fire, and... well, it’s a mess

and through all the flames are the carnations blooming, painted and carved on walls and smokestacks and pathways

(it’s very poetic)

(tumblr will kill this post if i link to the source directly, so. photo taken by DragonWolfACe @ deviantart)

hermes still ferries on the train, but the schedule is all out of whack thanks to the strikes and riots turning the systems upside down. he witnesses plenty of the mess that hadestown has fallen into, and the fight the songbirds are fighting

he relays as much news as he can to persephone

(thanks @damondaunnodyke for helping write this bit w/ seph)

persephone... worries

she already snuck underground to help them once and a hurricane ravaged the Top for her absence. the songbirds have escaped, and now have to fight this fight for themselves--she can’t go back down to help them, because she has to bring the summertime to the Top, and she refuses to be the cause of another storm

so she’s stuck aboveground.

and she’s uhh. stressing. drinking. worrying.

everyone can tell there’s something off, but she doesn’t want to dwell on it, insisting that everyone else should just focus on the good times. let me tell ya something that my mama said to me...

she tries to not stress--there’s nothing she can do right now, why worry, you know? unless she wants to get more gray hairs than she’s already got

but during one of those celebrations she almost says “let the poet bless this round!” before catching herself, remembering that she’s... not there

a lot of people give her a glance; why’d she stop?

but she picks herself back up again, only a moment's falter, and just toasts to life and summer

the end of summer.

the revolution rages on. it’s not calmed down--the very opposite, in fact, more ferocious than ever

(and thanks unholy-boi for basically writing this bit for me HBGFHG)

persephone knows something is wrong when the train isn’t early--isn’t on time, but in fact late to pick her up. the summer has stretched on longer than it should, and in some ways, that is just as dangerous as the winter going on for too long

hades has been getting ready to bring her home. it takes browbeating and strongarming to get the trains running, far too late for his liking.

at last the train comes for her, and when it is hermes who offers his hand to bring her onboard, she knows that things in the underworld are bad--an inferno, dangerous if not dire, and she wonders if the songbirds are still alive, or if they’ve gone and the revolution still rages without them

hades aches for his wife, but he dares not step away from hadestown for a moment. he’s become obsessed and absolutely determined to quell, to crush this rebellion

hades is breaking, but refuses to bend, hades has refrains where he refuses to sing but slips into poetry and catches himself halfway through, hades is breaking, he puts in people he believes he can trust and they turn on him out of desperation, hades is running out of places to desperately hold and he is breaking. hadestown is oblivion. hades is wearing a crown that mangled his head.

persephone steps off of the train, and is taken aback by the state hadestown is in

the people feel her breeze in, and it is some relief, but the can’t tell how this will change things. if it’ll make things worse, if it’ll make it better

people ask for her aid; but she’s too busy looking around, trying to find the songbirds (after getting confirmation that they’re still alive) who are still hiding

and she finds them. she sees orpheus and eurydice (orpheus, who hades so clearly saw himself in, and eurydice, who she sees herself in) still fighting, still in love.

she sees hades’ mercilessness to the boy he sees himself in. she sees eurydice’s unending determination (in contrast to her own grown apathy)

and she’s reminded of times before. song or no song.

she decides that this cannot keep going, and hades will keep going farther and farther until he fucking self-destructs at the end of his fall and she wants to catch him before that happens

hades raises his fist against his people, persephone takes his hand and she starts singing. the old song. holding his hand. protecting the people.

la, la la la, la la la

and he realizes what he’s doing, as music swells, as the rest of hadestown, quietly, starts to join her in singing. as her warmth, her natural warmth, surrounds him, and he smells flowers and feels pollen and sunlight, and he--

well, the ice around his heart starts to crack, and the iron starts to melt

she catches him before he breaks

His Kiss, the Riot is... different

more emotionally charged, i think, because of the fight he’s been fighting for so long, so fiercely and ardently. he’s much more emotionally compromised, stressed and strung out and now everything’s been turned on his head

he can’t just let them go, but he can’t make them stay. he definitely cannot make them stay. and if the songbirds leave, they will take almost all of hadestown with them

it’s not like... Hellfire Notre Dame levels of dramatic. it’s still quiet, dark, and brooding, but hades is. more of a mess, really

but he comes to his conclusion all the same

that’s about all i got on this. i just wanted to make a note. i thought it was important

the task is given: they can walk, but eurydice must walk in front, and orpheus must follow behind. she must not turn behind to see if orpheus is following--if he has not collapsed, and she will not be able to hear if he has. if she turns, she may return above, but her lover will return to hadestown.

it’s given to eurydice instead because while she might be harder to instill doubt in, she’s as much susceptible to loneliness as any other. she may have been alone for so long, but she is desperate to not be alone again. and orpheus is still weak--still sick, and she fears he might give out before they reach the top, as much as he assures her he’ll be fine

and if they fail, well, they keep the poet, who was damned to hell anyway--a sentence is stronger than a contract

(Also, this is now Wait For Me III (the first being Orpheus on the way to Hadestown; second being Eurydice trying to find Orpheus; this is the third) and it is HUGE and GRAND, as the climax of the revolution. just as big, if not bigger than the bway version’s

(tho as per usual it’s tinged with sadness because of the circumstances, and the fact that, if this were staged, orpheus would be the only one not singing)

and then... doubt comes in

eurydice walks the path to the surface

hermes' warnings echo in her head, all the same he gave to orpheus in the normal timeline

it's cold

the fates badger her and bleed into her thoughts, systematically unwinding her confidence as she marches on through the dark

one foot after the other, she tells herself

after so long of turning her back to the wind, to the fates, she has learned to keep her head on straight

orpheus is not sturdy, especially now, but he is not so weak to fail on a walk like this--long, but simple, and upon even ground

he is there, she tells herself. he is strong enough to keep up.

his heart is strong enough. it has to be.

hades lied to everyone in the underground--hades lied to make hadestown, she thinks

hades...

just this once--

she chooses to believe he didn't lie to her.

(pt. i) (pt. ii) (pt. iii) (pt. v) (epilogue) (askblog)

bonus:

#unswayed au #hadestown #hadestown au #my art #my work #i'm thinking about naming each parts #like breaking up this story into sections #the first with orpheus' failing is Banishment #the second is Search / Survival a la eurydice looking for him and orpheus trying to last #the third is Exodus #the fourth is Riots #the fifth is......... youll find out later :)

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bthenoise · 3 years

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The Best Of 2020 As Picked By Members Of Underoath, The Amity Affliction, August Burns Red, Neck Deep, Movements and More

Okay, we know what you’re thinking: Isn’t it a bit of an oxymoron to list the “best” things to come from such a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year?

While yes, we completely agree with that statement, we would be remiss not to shine a light on all the wonderful things that helped us survive one of the most challenging years in recent memory -- you know, like best album, best song, best movie, etc.

So, as a way to help you count down the end of this miserable year (22 days, 7 hours and 52 minutes to go as of this writing), we’ve completely turned our year-end, best-of list over to the artists we cover on a daily basis. Because let’s face it, as we’ve noted in years past, their opinions are the ones we all really care about, right?

Right.

To check out what members of Underoath, The Amity Affliction, August Burns Red, Neck Deep, Knuckle Puck, Movements, Counterparts, Hatebreed and more have all been obsessing over for the past year or so, be sure to see below. We hope you enjoy this final list as much as we do and wish you all the most peaceful and positive holiday season.

Enjoy!

SPENCER CHAMBERLAIN - UNDEROATH

Best Album of 2020: Tame Impala - The Slow Rush Best Song of 2020: Foster the People - “Lambs Wool” Best Music Video of 2020: Sir Sly - “Material Boy” (also one of the best songs of 2020) Most Underrated Album of 2020: The Chain Gang of 1974 - Honey Moon Drips Best Movie of 2020: Onward Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: American Horror Story Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Metal Kenneth Copeland had me cracking up Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: I really enjoyed playing Lost In The Sound of Separation in full for the first time ever and it was our first ever live stream so it was super special and something I’ll never forget The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: Writing tons of music, my lady, hiking/working out and my great dane Snoopy 2021 New Year’s Resolution: Put MORE art into the world

AHREN STRINGER - THE AMITY AFFLICTION

Best Album of 2020: Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher Best Song of 2020: Spiritbox - “Holy Roller” Best Music Video of 2020: Architects - “Black Lungs” Most Underrated Album of 2020: Lost For Life - We All Share The Blame Best Movie of 2020: Palm Springs Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: Queen’s Gambit Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Donald Trump’s Twitter account. Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: Europe tour with Beartooth right before the pandemic. The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: Drawing and painting 2021 New Year’s Resolution: Start smoking more

JB BRUBAKER - AUGUST BURNS RED

Best Album of 2020: Hum - Inlet Best Song of 2020: Sir Sly - “All Your Love” Best Music Video of 2020: NOFX - “Live At Red Rocks” Most Underrated Album of 2020: Sea Wolf - Through A Dark Wood Best Movie of 2020: The Social Dilemma Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: Queen’s Gambit Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: https://youtu.be/0JPRvxTjfOk Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: Best show I played this year was our Thrill Seeker 15 Year Anniversary livestream, though I hope that we one-up that show on Dec 12th when we do our Christmas Burns Red show. The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: The return of live sports, specifically baseball and especially football. Fantasy sports have been my 2020 escape. 2021 New Year’s Resolution: I’d like to look on the bright side more. 2020 has been an easy year to focus on the negative. I don’t want to be that way next year (or ever).

KEVIN MAIDA - KNUCKLE PUCK

Best Album of 2020: Tie between HAIM's Women In Music Pt. III or Owen’s The Avalanche or Slow Pulp’s Movey

Best Song of 2020: “Me & You Together Song” by The 1975

Best Music Video of 2020: Faye Webster’s “Better Distractions” or Phoebe Bridgers’ “I Know The End” or HAIM’s “Man From The Magazine”

Most Underrated Album of 2020: Burst by Snarls

Best Movie of 2020: Dang, what movies came out this year? Each year, I gauge the movies I saw by recounting seeing them in theaters, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I really enjoyed Portrait of a Lady On Fire though and I saw Uncut Gems on New Year’s Day this year, so I’m counting that as well.

Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: I’m really bad with keeping up with contemporary television, but I am always watching The Sopranos on a loop. I've had so many people tell me this year that they started watching Sopranos because of all the extra time at home, so I loved living vicariously through others watching it for the first time. I’ve also been binging 30 Rock for the first time and it is simply a delight.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Phoebe Bridgers and Maggie Rogers’ “Iris” cover album art.

Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: Back in February, we played at Beat Kitchen in Chicago with Heart Attack Man and One Step Closer to begin the only tour we would do this year. We hadn’t played there in years, but it felt so good to be back in that venue’s atmosphere again.

The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: My girlfriend, staying connected with my friends and family, riding my bike around the city, having time to somewhat enjoy summer at home in Chicago and revisiting favorite movies of mine.

2021 New Year’s Resolution: Be kinder to others and kinder to myself.

PATRICK MIRANDA - MOVEMENTS

Best Album of 2020: Punisher - Phoebe Bridgers Best Song of 2020: Too many to pick just one Best Music Video of 2020: “Popstar” - Drake/DJ Khaled Most Underrated Album of 2020: Marigold - Pinegrove Best Movie of 2020: Borat 2 Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: The Mandalorian Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Cranberry juice skateboard guy Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: LDB Fest in Louisville Kentucky 2020, BC (before Covid) The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: Video games and comfort food 2021 New Year’s Resolution: Let’s be honest, I’m not sticking to any resolutions

BRENDAN MURPHY - COUNTERPARTS

Best Album of 2020: I haven't even heard it yet, but I'm pretty sure it'll be the new Seahaven record. Band fucking rocks and I've been waiting like 6 years for new music.

Best Song of 2020: The 1975 - “If You're Too Shy (Let Me Know)”

Best Music Video of 2020: It's a tie, but I'm gonna have to go with “Spirit Halloween Theme Song” and the follow up “Unleash Your Spirit” both by Nick Lutsko.

Most Underrated Album of 2020: Chamber - Cost of Sacrifice

Best Movie of 2020: I don't think I've watched any movies that came out this year other than the new Borat, so I guess that's my pick by default. It was VERY NICE!! I wish I could marry the movie so the movie could be MY WIFE!! Get it? You get it. We all get it. It's great.

Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: Again, I've been slacking in terms of newer movies/tv and honestly, I just kinda alternate between watching The Simpsons seasons 3-9 and then watching Kenny Vs Spenny from beginning to end. If you haven't seen KvS, the entire series is on YouTube so please just watch it. I promise it's the best thing to come out of Canada... me being the second best.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: When we released the embroidered NLTL hoodie and everyone filled their diapers with shit.

Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: Tough call, but it's gotta be either the Chainsmokers concert in the Hamptons or the biker festival in Sturgis that Smash Mouth played.

The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: Alcohol, adopting my cat Kuma and finally being diagnosed with ADD so I could get a Vyvanse prescription.

2021 New Year’s Resolution: Play a single show LMAOOOOOO

OSHIE BICHAR - BEARTOOTH

Best Album of 2020: Bring Me The Horizon - Post Human: Survival Horror Best Song of 2020: Bring Me The Horizon - “Parasite Eve" Best Music Video of 2020: Bring Me The Horizon feat Yungblud - “OBEY" Most Underrated Album of 2020: Silverstein - A Beautiful Place To Drown Best Movie of 2020: Tenet Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: The Mandalorian Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Baby Yoda memes Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: Beartooth drive-in show in Oshkosh, WI The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: Call of Duty: Warzone 2021 New Year’s Resolution: Stop spending so much money on Star Wars toys

TRAVIS MIGUEL - ATREYU

Best Album of 2020: Insect Ark - The Vanishing Best Song of 2020: clipping. - “Say The Name” Best Music Video of 2020: Billie Eilish - “Everything I Wanted” Most Underrated Album of 2020: Thundercat - It Is What It Is Best Movie of 2020: The Social Dilemma Most Binge Worthy TV Show of 2020: The Mandalorian Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Any of the “My Plans for 2020” memes Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: Atreyu - Melbourne, Australia @ Max Watts, Feb 2020. Things that helped you get through 2020: Guitar, video games, hanging with the wife and cat, finishing an album, Atreyu “Carry the Fire” livestream and lots of junk food. 2021 New Year Resolution: Gonna try to have more of that PMA.

MATT BRYNE - HATEBREED

Best Album of 2020: Napalm Death - Throes of Joy In The Jaws Of Defeatism

Best Song of 2020: See question #1. Pick any song from it.

Best Music Video of 2020: I don’t have one. I miss the infant days of MTV when music videos were new, fresh and hypnotizing. I used to sit for hours and wait for the Van Halen “Jump” video to come on. So, I’ll go with that music video for this question. Can I do that?

Most Underrated Album of 2020: Hum - Inlet

Best Movie of 2020: The Mandalorian series. I rarely watch full movies anymore. It’s all about getting sucked into a TV series.

Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: Can’t choose only one. The Queen’s Gambit, The Mandalorian, Living With Yourself, Dead To Me…

Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Anything posted on kookslams. I could surf that Insta account all damn day!!!

Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: None. We have all been stuck at home. So, best attended/played/watched is me, myself and I crushing it on my basement practice jams. Or falling down the rabbit-hole watching drum solos or drum clips on youtube.

The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: 1- I got married in May so that was a huge event that we made happen and enjoyed, given the current craziness. Couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day. 2- Our dog, Ziti. He is a constant source of entertainment. 3- Yoga. 4- Ripping around on my mini-bike.

2021 New Year’s Resolution: Drink more water. Spend less time looking at my phone. Get back to playing shows again!!!

SAM BOWDEN - NECK DEEP

Best Album of 2020: Haim - Women In Music Pt. III

Best Song of 2020: Seaway - “Big Vibe”

Best Music Video of 2020: The 1975 - “The Birthday Party”

Most Underrated Album of 2020: I don’t really know what’s underrated and I’ve not listened to a bunch this year but Knuckle Puck 20/20 is a great album that people should go check out if they haven’t already.

Best Movie of 2020: The Trial of the Chicago 7

Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: Schitt’s Creek. Although this wasn’t strictly all released in 2020, the final season was and I hadn’t seen any before this year. It was amazing and I definitely binged the whole thing. Final season is a tear jerker for sure. Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: Well like most people in music we didn’t get to play a show this year, however, I did attend a Counterparts show in Feb at Rock City which ruled! Static Dress were also on the tour so was great getting to finally see them!

The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: Call of Duty - Warzone. Can’t say I’m proud about this one but It helped pass time if nothing else. More serious though, I bought my girlfriend a kitten a few months ago and he’s been a bundle of joy for us. 2021 New Year’s Resolution: Enjoy the little things. This year took a lot of normality out of life and it’s given me a lot of time to reflect and look back on things I’ve done and we’ve done as a band. It’s easy to get caught up and just be thinking about what’s next and not really live in that moment, so next year I’ll be savoring every moment and every show we get.

NICK VENTIMIGLIA - GRAYSCALE

Best Album of 2020: This is so tough but I think Deftones’ Ohms is my favorite album of the year.

Best Song of 2020: I really don’t know if I can pick one but my most listened to was “The Spell of Mathematics” by Deftones

Best Music Video of 2020: I absolutely loved the Bring Me the Horizon video for “Parasite Eve.” But also, the “Ohms” video by Deftones was unreal as well.

Most Underrated Album of 2020: There really are a few I believe. It was a very weird year to put out a record so I think a TON of albums flew under the radar which is a bummer because there was so much great music put out. I think Four Year Strong's Brain Pain was amazing and their best album to date. I think Hundredth’s Somewhere Nowhere was unreal. Rich People put out Harmony in August and I absolutely love that record and those boys. The Killers put a record out called Imploding the Mirage that has some absolute heaters on it as well. The Ghost Inside made a wild comeback with Aftermath that makes you want to go ape shit front to back. Finally, I’d say The Used made an amazing album that caught them right back up with making great music. Not that they didn’t on the previous records, but it feels like they found themselves again. They pushed a lot of boundaries on Heartwork and had some insane songwriting on that record.

Best Movie of 2020: To be honest, I didn’t really watch many new movies this year. The Social Dilemma was super eye-opening and very true. If you dig creepy thrillers, The Devil All the Time was probably top for me. A ton of great actors and just such an eerie vibe in the cinematography.

Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: I feel like the easy answer is Tiger King, but I really dug The Queen’s Gambit and The Undoing as of late.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: I hate the internet really, there is just so much bullshit overload that I can’t even process it all. With that said, when Joe Exotic threw on his EMS jacket when his employee got her arm bit off by a tiger, THAT was UNREAL. I was crying laughing. This man had this jacket for a moment like this. He is wearing this EMS bomber with king tight white jeans, a true fashion icon. The memes that followed were priceless. The “I am never gunna financially recover from this…” memes. So great.

Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: I would have to say the best show I attended this year was the Dashboard Confessional anniversary shows in Detroit. It was back to back nights where Chris played 'The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most’ and ‘A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar.’ in their entirety. He did some older stuff as well off of the ’So Impossible' EP and ‘Swiss Army Romance’ which rocked. Best show we played would have to be on our headliner earlier this year. We played The Observatory in Santa Ana, CA and it was unreal. Best watched show was probably the Puscifer live stream or the Underoath stream.

The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: I think it was the ability to write more than we usually are able to and kind of tighten up the behind the scenes aspects of Grayscale that people don’t often see. Beyond that, being able to spend time with loved ones and family has been great. It’s been a great year for self reflection as well and I feel like that’s always a good thing when you can get a fresh perspective on life when things get shaken up. I’ve been super thankful even more so this year for the people I have in my life and the opportunities I’ve been given. Those are some of the big things that got me through.

2021 New Year’s Resolution: Honestly, I am not much of a resolution guy, but I’d say just give my all to everything I am passionate about and treat everyone with love. Playing shows in 2021 would be absolutely ideal for a resolutions well.

JULIET SIMMS

Best Album of 2020: Starbenders - Love Potions Best Song of 2020: “You About To Lose Your Job” Best Music Video of 2020: In This Moment - “As Above So Below” Most Underrated Album of 2020: Creeper - Sex, Death and the Infinite Void Best Movie of 2020: Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: Queen’s Gambit Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Ocean Spray Fleetwood Mac guy. Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: uhhhhh - welcome to hell. I attended exactly one concert this year and that was a live stream for BVB. The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: Music, YouTube, good shows, my babe, my pets and staying busy. 2021 New Year’s Resolution: To get the fuck out of the house 😂. On a more music related note - put my album out ✨

OLLIE BAXXTER - BROADSIDE

Best Album of 2020: Into the Raging Sea by Broadside Best Song of 2020: “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles Best Music Video of 2020: “Parasite Eve” - Bring Me The Horizon Most Underrated Album of 2020: Into the Raging Sea by Broadside Best Movie of 2020: Palm Springs Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: 90 Day Fiancé Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Anything involving our EX president Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: *one long sigh* The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: My miniature dachshund puppy and books 2021 New Year’s Resolution: Never take seeing someone's whole face for granted again

VINNIE CARUANA - I AM THE AVALANCHE // THE MOVIELIFE

Best Album of 2020: Songs For The General Public - The Lemon Twigs Best Song of 2020: “War” - Idles Best Music Video of 2020: I haven’t seen any Most Underrated Album of 2020: DIVE - I am the Avalanche Best Movie of 2020: On the Rocks Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: Jeopardy on DVR. RIP ALEX TREBEK Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Four Seasons Total Landscaping Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: Constant Elevation/ Rule Them All @ Max Fish NYC The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: Jon Oliver, beer, weed, whiskey, Liverpool Football Club, friends, family, music. 2021 New Year’s Resolution: To spread more joy than ever

ALEX MAGNAN - YOUNG CULTURE

Best Album of 2020: Folklore by Taylor Swift Best Song of 2020: “How Big Is Your Brain” by Super American Best Music Video of 2020: “The Birthday Party” by the 1975 Most Underrated Album of 2020: Women In Music pt. III by Haim Best Movie of 2020: Tenet Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: Ozark Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Pretending to break up my band Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: Playing Tampa, FL back in March The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: Zoom calls 2021 New Year’s Resolution: Be the best live band when shows come back

MAX BREMER - KINGDOM OF GIANTS

Best Album of 2020: Man there’s a few really good ones that make it so hard to choose. I really enjoyed Loathe’s I Let It In And It Took Everything but I gotta shout out Like Moths to Flames’s No Eternity in Gold and Bring Me The Horizon’s Post Human for sure.

Best Song of 2020: Another insanely hard question! I guess I’m gonna say “Teardrops” by Bring Me The Horizon but again I’m gonna also shout out “Animals” by Architects

Best Music Video of 2020: “Teardrops” by Bring Me The Horizon. If you couldn’t tell I’m a big fan of them haha

Most Underrated Album of 2020: Idk if I’d say it’s underrated but I absolutely loved Make Them Suffer’s How to Survive a Funeral

Best Movie of 2020: I haven’t even seen it yet, but I know it’s gonna be Tenet

Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: Lovecraft Country

Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: There’s so many it’s hard for me to retain any of them. I can’t keep track.

Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: Well my band sold out every show we played this year which was only one haha but for real it was an awesome time and I love hearing our lyrics screamed back at us.

The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: My wife, our new daughter, Indi, and our album PASSENGER 100%

2021 New Year’s Resolution: My wife and I just had our first daughter so it’s gonna be to be the best father I can possibly be and write as many songs as possible until we can rip shows again.

NICK ANDERSON - THE WRECKS

Best Album of 2020: Punisher - Phoebe Bridgers Best Song of 2020: “Dying Breed” - The Killers Best Music Video of 2020: Nothing But Thieves - “Impossible” Most Underrated Album of 2020: Color Theory - Soccer Mommy Best Movie of 2020: The Go-Go’s Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: Dave Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Four Seasons Total Landscaping Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: :( The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: Pro Tools 2021 New Year’s Resolution: Spend more time outside of the studio

CAMM KNOPP - NEVER LOVED

Best Album of 2020: It’s hard to pick one, but a few I really enjoyed are Father Of All… by Greenday, Ugly Is The New Beautiful by Oliver Tree and RTJ4 by Run The Jewels Best Song of 2020: There has been so many amazing songs released this year it feels impossible picking just one Best Music Video of 2020: Any Oliver Tree music video from his recent album Most Underrated Album of 2020: Watchito Rico by Boy Pablo Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: Tiger King Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Tiger King memes were pretty great Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: Probably the Sugar Ray livestream The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: Zoom parties, friends/family, writing music, netflix, and lots of self care 2021 New Year’s Resolution: Getting back on the road!

SHARPTOOTH

MATT HAGUE

Best Album of 2020: Purity Ring - WOMB Best Song of 2020: “Headlights on the Parade” - The Blue Nile Best Music Video of 2020: “When Doves Cry” - Prince Most Underrated Album of 2020: The Hot N’ Heavy - Drop Dead, Gorgeous Best Movie of 2020: Joker (shit was crazy bro) Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: Devs Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Trump getting COVID Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: The only band I saw this year was Single Mothers. Their drummer is very handsome. The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: HBO’s Oz 2021 New Year’s Resolution: Get yourself together. Move to Philly. Buy a loft. Start a noise band. Get 6 or 7 roommates. Eat hummus with them. Book some gigs. Paint. Smoke cloves. Listen to Animal Collective. Start some type of salsa company. KEITH HIGGINS

Best Album of 2020: Endless Twilight of Codependent Love - Sólstafir Best Song of 2020: “Oh Ruthless Great Divine Director” - Lingua Ignota Best Music Video of 2020: Hot Gospel or Cane Hill Most Underrated Album of 2020: Grave of a Dog - Sightless Pit Best Movie of 2020: Color Out of Space Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: The Mandalorian Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Trump getting COVID was top tier Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: LOL The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: Destiny 2, dogs and a lot of repressing things 2021 New Year’s Resolution: Turn my brain back on and be a person again hopefully

LANCE DONATI

Best Album of 2020: Underneath - Code Orange Best Song of 2020: “Boss Bitch” - Doja Cat Best Music Video of 2020: “Swallowing The Rabbit Whole” - Code Orange Most Underrated Album of 2020: I Disagree - Poppy Best Movie of 2020: Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: Mandalorian Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: The fly landing on Mike Pence’s head Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: Darkest Hour The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: Writing music for the next album. 2021 New Year’s Resolution: Get the next album process set up.

PETER BRUNO

Best Album of 2020: Poppy - I Disagree. While critics might write this off as a unique, albeit kitsch blending of genres, this record is one of the more satisfying emotional journeys I’ve been on in quite some time. Poppy is able to capture a strange sort of sadness within these songs, that ironically, is often read as mere jouissance. Best Song of 2020: Poppy - “Sick of the Sun” Best Music Video of 2020: Run The Jewels - “Ooh La La” Most Underrated Album of 2020: Sound VVitch - Becoming. Imagine taking something like Chelsea Wolfe but leaning more into an experimental direction that is both sonically beautiful and grotesque. Best Movie of 2020: I’m Thinking of Ending Things, directed by Charlie Kaufman. It’s a shame that a lot of movies got pushed back this year. I think because of this, I didn’t wind up watching many movies from 2020, instead I used the pandemic to try to catch up on films from the past that I never seem to find time for. Still, I’ve come to really appreciate the journey that Kaufman seems to always insist on taking me. Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: Admittedly, I also haven’t watched a ton of new TV shows this year. But, there were both new seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm and The Eric Andre Show, which always finds a way to make me happy. However, in terms of 2020 itself, I did finally watch The Sopranos for the first time and it completely lived up to the hype. Just an incredible TV show all around. I also binge watched all of Tim Heidecker’s On Cinema at the Cinema, which is quite the ride. There’s a whole cinematic universe for that TV show, it’s insane. I give it five bags of popcorn. Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Conner O’Malley’s video where he learns how to communicate with trains got me pretty good. Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: I thought the Code Orange live stream acoustic set was pretty neat. The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: Marijuana and Magic The Gathering. 2021 New Year’s Resolution: Try not to die.

LAUREN KASHAN

Best Album of 2020: 1. High Road - Kesha. Basically, Kesha wrote an incredibly intense, emotional and fucking hilarious album about living her truth and telling all her haters to eat a dick and that’s really all I’ve ever needed in life.

2. “WAP” burned twelve times onto a CD-R from Best Buy. This one fucking song is a better album than 95% of anything I’ve ever heard and I’m a huge fan of anything related to black women kicking ass and taking names, sex and kink positivity, and insanely clever and funny lyrics. Plus, ANYTHING that makes weak, sexist, insecure men as BIG MAD as this song did is literally my kink.

Best Song of 2020: “My Own Dance” - Kesha.  Best Music Video of 2020: “Say Nothing (In The Absence Of Content).” Fuck anyone who disagrees, that shit is iconic. Second runner up goes to “The Gray” because Peter made that whole fucking video himself and it’s POWERFUL and I still cry every single time I watch it.  Most Underrated Album of 2020: Vagina Witchcraft’s self titled record. If you didn’t already notice, I’m pretty fucking done with listening to cis straight white dudes be ANGERY for half an hour; so this album is SUCH a breath of fresh air in a genre that’s become incredibly boring and derivative as of late. Listen to Vagina Witchcraft for sonically inventive, sludgy hardcore, bone-chilling vocal delivery and lyrics that are simultaneously calculated yet raw, and that ACTUALLY FUCKING SAY THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT AND RELEVANT AND SO FUCKING URGENT RIGHT NOW.   Best Movie of 2020: Miss Americana - The Taylor Swift documentary. One of the most validating things I’ve ever watched in my life and I ugly cried though the whole thing. I fucking love that woman. Most Binge-Worthy TV Show of 2020: I don’t watch TV… Does a YouTube series about voice actors playing D&D count? If so, my answer is Critical Role. Don’t try to binge it though, each episode is like 4 hours and there’s over a hundred episodes.  Favorite Internet Moment of 2020: Hardcore twitter taking my band way too seriously and as a result of their own hubris, accidentally blowing up our music video and record release, and getting us exponentially more attention than we would have if those losers would just finally learn to fuck off and leave us alone! NICE GOING MOTHERFUCKERS I OWE YA ONE! *blows a kiss* Also, everything Lizzo did. DID YOU SEE HER “FLY IN MIKE PENCE’S HAIR” COSTUME?!?!

Best Concert You Attended/Played/Watched in 2020: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GOOD ONE.  I think the only live music related thing I even went to was a Drum & Bass show back in February in Brooklyn with Dimension, Sub Focus, and Culture Shock. I danced with my friends and drank Bright Fox. It was a simpler time.  The Thing(s) That Helped Get You Through 2020: D&D, getting a suet feeder to watch birds outside my window and my bootcamp, Launch Academy, with all my brilliant and incredible Boston 30 Cohort-mates. Also, the warm weight of knowing that this coming year, a lot of terrible, evil, abusive people in the world are gonna finally get their comeuppance and I’m making popcorn with EXTRA salt.  2021 New Year’s Resolution: Ohhhh I’m not going to spoil the surprise for you! But let’s just say I’m planning on using my new superpowers as a full stack software engineer, combined with my old superpowers as a vindictive and enraged bitch who hates rapists, to make the world a safer and more just place.

READ MORE: HERE ARE THE TOP 150 SONGS OF 2020

#Best Of #Best Of 2020 #The Amity Affliction #August Burns Red #Knuckle Puck #Movements #Beartooth #Grayscale #Juliet Simms #Broadside #Sharptooth #Underoath #I Am The Avalanche #Young Culture #Kingdom Of Giants #Never Loved #Hatebreed #Atreyu #Neck Deep

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