#remember when i was talking in this group and the topic of hyperfixation came up and i was like Yeah one hyperfixation of mine was so bad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inquebrar · 3 months

Text

QSMP was one of the projects that had one of the biggest personal impacts on me. since i was younger, i have always been fascinated by getting to know different cultures and learning new languages has always been something that captivated me. although for years i have "been part" of many fandoms and followed different projects, series, groups and things like that for years sometimes, but i just had my interests without having no one to talk with and share it. so this was the first time that i really participated actively and was so engaged in the "fandoms" i'm part of, to talk about it, share my theories and analyzes and stuff like that. so at the beginning (and tbh i still feel a little) i was always very nervous to talk about it or talk with other people in general (especially in a language that is not my mother tongue) because it was something so out of my comfort zone, but through qsmp i learned more about cultures and languages that before i didn't even thought about learning, i felt the desire to continue learning languages that i had left aside, i felt more proud of my nationality, i met very kind people from different countries, it brought me a lot of joy seeing many people starting to learn my language too and see so many people who like the same things as me who share opinions and interests and even people who speak my language who are also very engaging it's so cool to see and the whole feeling of unity, comfort and cultural mix between different people made me extremely passionate about this project and the things it provided.

but unfortunately, recently it has been very difficult to deal with the excess of negativity and heavy topics and serious matters that came to the surface and started to accumulate with disappointments and overwhelming things that i had been feeling for a while. having hyperfixation on qsmp stopped being something that motivated me and brought me happiness, it started to affect my mental health in a bad and unhealthy way, which already hasn't been so good in the last few days. so i thought i'd just vent a little so that maybe someone who is in a similar situation and having similar feelings to mine will feel less alone or a little more understood.

i heard Quackity's recent statement and i was relieved to see that he handled the situation responsibly and addressed the matters without taking away the importance also genuinely apologizing, it was a difficult and sad situation to witness in general but with the server closed on a temporary break, i really hope that he now stays informed and aware of how his team is working and how things are happening behind the scenes. i hope that this brings more organization, communication, correct and respectful treatment to all those who work to maintain the project with care and commitment, and i hope things get an extremely significant change and that everything improves from now on. i still have a lot of love for this project and i want to believe things will be more positive again, but in the meantime i hope that everyone who was affected by everything that has been happening takes care of themselves and always remember that you are important, your feelings are valid and you're not alone. speak up when you feel the need, when you feel disrespected, when you need help. also don't forget to be kind (to yourself too) and i'm waiting for better days.

#qsmp #after actually participating in a fandom for the first time i felt like i needed to vent about how i was feeling #i needed to get these things out of my chest and if anyone identifies with something or isn't feeling well right now you're not alone ok?🫂#i hope everything gets better soon let's take care of ourselves and if necessary step back a little and rest #mental health comes first! hoping for better days ❤️‍🩹#qsmp fandom

22 notes · View notes

rottingfruitt · 5 years

Text

what was she meant to do? part 2: it’s no big surprise you turned out this way

alternative chapter title: ryan instantly ran out of ideas for six lyrics as chapter titles and came dangerously close to calling this chapter “jane be like: *teen beach movie voice* what’s going on? this can’t be happening!” so we’re using random song lyrics now. anyways

chapter 2: in which anne gets diagnosed, jane is yet again a mom, and anne has a pez dispenser (AO3 link) (Part 1)

Jane sat in the psychologist’s waiting room, anxiously tapping her foot. The doctor had been with Anne for quite some time, nearing 45 minutes now, and it was impossible for Jane not to worry. The process has started with Jane calling the doctor with her fears, the doctor meeting with both Jane and Anne for a brief evaluation, and now Anne was in the process of speaking to who Jane was informed would be the final step of the whole ordeal.

The past couple weeks nearly had Jane going grey from stress. She wasn’t exactly familiar with this sort of thing, although to be fair, the entirety of her first life had been spent during a time where a woman whose behavior was thought to be too out of the ordinary was accused of witchcraft.

It started with their general practitioner, who clearly sensed that something was amiss enough to warrant a brief visit with a speech therapist. Then those results were turned over to a neurologist who met with Anne a few times, and now they were at the psychology office, where the final diagnosis would be reached. Jane’s mind was cooking up every bad outcome in the book, and each scenario seemed to end with a lobotomy, for some reason. For example, what if Anne-

Jane was shocked out of her thoughts by a “Ms. Seymour?” She nearly jumped from her seat, looking to the source of the voice, which revealed itself to be the psychologist in question.

“Ms. Seymour, we’re ready for you now,” said the doctor, flashing an unreadable smile that did nothing to soothe Jane’s nerves. She followed him to his office, where Anne was seated in a small chair in front of a large wooden desk, fumbling with a Rubix cube. She grinned when Jane walked in, flashing her a peace sign and setting the Rubix cube down - completely solved, Jane noticed.

The doctor gestured to the chair next to Anne, and Jane took a seat, while the doctor sat on the other side of the desk and leaned forward, folding his hands.

“Well, Ms. Seymour, Anne.” The doctor began. “I have to say, this case was certainly interesting.”

Jane’s eyes widened. “Interesting? How? What’s wrong? I don’t-”

The doctor held out his hand, chuckling. “Ms. Seymour, please, it’s nothing to worry about. It’s just unusual that something like this goes so long without being diagnosed.”

“Something like what?” Jane leaned forward, growing irritated with the doctor for dragging this out for so long.

“Well, autism.”

Jane sat back in her chair, digesting this. Autism. She’d heard the word before, of course, but had to admit that she had only ever associated it with children. She noticed both Anne and the doctor’s eyes on her, and blushed, clearing her throat.

“Autism. So, you mean…” She trailed off, at a loss for words. The doctor recognized this, and jumped in.

“Well, the official diagnosis is Asperger’s Syndrome. Essentially, on the autism spectrum, it would be considered ‘high functioning.’ It’s characterized by difficulties in social interaction, nonverbal communication, and restricted or repetitive patterns and interests.”

As the doctor went on about what he had observed in her to Jane, Anne tuned him out and let her mind wander.

She tried to formalize how she was feeling about all of this. The doctor had told her that she was a bit different than other people. Well, duh, she thought, she had eleven fingers for god’s sake. But then he’d explained that it was something in her brain that was wired differently than what was the norm. He said it was something that made her think and act differently than other people, and that what she’d explained about feeling like the odd one out was expected of someone with this condition, especially in a house of five other people. She’d asked if this was the answer to why she was such a ‘half-witted muppet,’ as Aragon had described her when Anne tripped over her shoelace and brought down a display of mannequins in a store the week prior, but the doctor had only chuckled at that, so Anne was still pondering that one.

All in all, Anne wasn’t too worried. The doctor had finished their appointment by assuring her that she had nothing to worry about or to be ashamed of, and seeing as he was the one with the PhD, Anne was satisfied.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by Jane’s hand settling on her shoulder, making Anne jump in her chair.

“Here,” the doctor was saying. “I suggest taking time to look through this with your family, and you of course have my number if you have any questions.”

He handed Jane a thick packet of paper, with the words “AUTISM IN ADULTS” emblazoned on the front in large, bold, letters.

Jane thanked him and rose from her chair, Anne following suit. The pair exchanged a few parting words with the doctor, and they were out the door.

On the ride home, Jane was walking on eggshells trying to talk to Anne about the news.

“You’re sure you’re okay, sweetie? It’s perfectly understandable if this is hard to wrap your head around, it’s pretty big news.”

Anne shrugged, popping a candy out of a Spider-Man Pez Dispenser.

“I’m fine. Everything made sense, and he said there wasn’t anything to worry about. Can we get Slurpees?”

Jane couldn’t help but chuckle, brought back down closer to earth by Anne’s incredibly on-brand response.

“Yeah, yeah, of course we can. But, just remember, if you ever need to talk about anything, we’re here for you, okay? All of us.”

Anne didn’t take her eyes off the road ahead, but a large grin spread across her face. “I know, Jane. Thank you.”

—-

That evening, Jane, Parr, and Aragon had taken up residence in Parr’s study, pouring over the booklet Jane had been given from the psychiatrist, as well as a few books and websites they’d dug up.

“...one sided, long winded speech about a favourite topic...intense and passionate focus on one or two interests, hyperfixation…that’s definitely Anne.” Parr sighed, reading from her computer. “I mean, she’s probably more obsessed with frogs and salamanders than most herpetologists,” she snorted. “Remember one of our first group interviews? The second Anne mentioned her tadpole pool it took Aragon dragging her out by her ear AND the promise of waffles to get her out of there.”

Aragon chuckled at the memory, turning a page in the pamphlet. “And what about this? ‘A clumsy, awkward gait or walk.’ I mean, that’s just textbook Anne, isn’t it? Or ‘failure to respect interpersonal boundaries.’ I’d say that Anne’s got herself wrapped around someone at least ninety percent of the time.”

Jane let out a sigh, rubbing her tired eyes. “I do have to admit, it really does make sense. And I know that she can be helped by us, and her therapist, I just really hope that she isn’t taking it to hard, you know? She can be really sensitive sometimes.”

—-

“Yeah, I thought he said ‘ass burgers’ at first, so I was super confused.”

Katherine let out a snort at this, shaking her head. “Of course that’s what you thought.”

The cousins were sitting on the floor of Anne’s room, their legs tangled together, watching as Anne’s lizard, Lee, crawled around the floor eating crickets that Anne tossed for him.

“I mean, it’s reassuring in a way.” Anne said, grinning as Lee ate a cricket in one bite. “I thought I was just, like, super annoying.”

Katherine shrugged. “Sure that’s what Aragon thought too.” She giggled, leaning on Anne’s shoulder. “Well, I’m just glad you’re okay. We were all pretty worried, y’know?”

Anne nodded, not taking her eyes off the lizard. “I know. That’s what Jane said. And nothing’s different, really, I’m still the same person. Except, like, now I gotta take Risperdal for it.” She paused, growing uncomfortable with the topic. “Um, so do you wanna see how the tadpoles are doing?”

Katherine shot up from her seat on the floor like a firecracker, grinning ear to ear. “Are you kidding? Hell yeah!”

Anne’s face morphed to a grin to match her cousin’s, and she stood, took Katherine by the hand, and brought her to a tank across the room.

“Look! Bartholemew and Duck have hind legs now, see?”

Katherine raised her eyebrows. “Duck? You named a frog Duck?”

“Yeah, I did. This one here.” Anne pointed, her grin growing even larger.

“Why’d you name a frog Duck?”

Anne looked up, furrowing her brow. “Because.” She said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She turned back to the tank, pointing at the others.

“I think I’ll name this one Spotty, ‘cause of the spots. This one’s Rachel, because the lady working at Starbucks the other day was named Rachel, and she had nice hair. Not sure about the other two, yet, they’re still a bit young to be distinguishable from each other. Oh, and look here…”

She trailed off into a mile-a-minute ramble, much too fast for Katherine to keep up with, though she’d never admit it. She watched Anne grow even more excited as she talked, beaming the whole time. She was almost kicking herself for thinking that Anne wouldn’t be able to handle whatever the universe - or in this case, the psychiatrist - threw at her. Anne was brave. She’d be okay. Nothing bad was gonna happen to her cousin, it couldn’t.

#omg is that a cliffhanger #no its not chapter 3 is already out #lmao #six the musical #six the musical fanfic #catherine of aragon #anne boleyn #jane seymour #anna of cleves #katherine howard #catherine parr

6 notes · View notes