#regulus not liking cake but eating it on his birthday as a fuck you to his parents who never let him have it is a new level of pettiness
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(8/31) prompt: takeout — 1,213 words (implied nsfw) (regulus conveniently forgets to tell james about his birthday) @jegulus-microfic
Regulus wouldn’t say he has a favorite time of day per say, but if he were held at gunpoint and forced to pick he supposes he’d choose somewhere in the range of 5:30 and 6:00 pm. If you asked him why, he’d tell you it’s because he likes watching the sun go down and not because that’s when James Potter stops by his apartment after his daily trip to the gym.
And it’s definitely not because he always arrives dressed in his tight, slutty tank tops, skin still glistening with a light layer of sweat, salty and earthy and so distinctively James smelling.
(In truth, it makes Regulus feel fucking insane, but he tries to hide that bit.)
Today, when he rips open his door at 5:47 he’s met with that exact sight: James, smiling but slightly out of breath, a duffle bag slung over one toned shoulder that’s of course sinfully on display. Seriously, his fucking arms…
“Hi.”
Regulus smiles back helplessly, the smallest uptick of one side of his mouth. He opens the door wider, tilting his head to invite James inside. They’ve been seeing each other for about a month now (and these evening visits have only been a thing for the past week), but James seems to have a routine already set in place. He toes his shoes off by the front door (Regulus never asked him to, but he must have noticed that Regulus always removes his own and followed suit). The duffle bag comes off his shoulder about five steps inside, set neatly against the wall and out of the way, before he turns to Regulus and gives him “the look.” It definitely belongs in the category of “begging” (Regulus is getting better at identifying that one) but as for what he’s begging for?
Regulus rolls his eyes but huffs a laugh. “Seriously? Again?”
If the sex wasn't so good, he'd be forced to believe that James' only reason for coming here was to raid his kitchen.
James’ face grows somehow more pitiful. “I forgot to pack a snack after the gym and I’m starving, Regulus, honestly, or I wouldn’t ask—”
He would, he’s shameless. Regulus doesn’t mind.
“Fine. But I’m not cooking you anything tonight. It’s Friday. I don’t cook on Fridays.”
“Okay, fair.”
Regulus waves a hand behind him as he saunters to the living room. “Anything in the fridge is up for grabs.”
“Fuck yes,” James says with the enthusiasm of a growing teenage boy (he’s 25). “You know, I would take this opportunity to shower you with compliments but uh,” he pauses, knowing Regulus’ curiosity will force him to glance back over his shoulder, “I’ll save that for later, yeah?”
James’ cheeky grin only grows as he watches Regulus’ face get hot. With that, he’s ducking his head down into the fridge and Regulus is left to wonder exactly how fast James clocked his praise kink. He supposes he’s not exactly subtle about it.
“Hey what’s in this brown box, Reg?” James asks a few moments later, his voice muffled as he rumages through the fridge. “Leftovers? Or takeout?”
Regulus blinks, remembering. “Oh, uh, neither— that one— actually, that’s—”
James reappears, his face a mask of confusion as he stairs down into the open takeout box. “Cake?”
Regulus’ face is burning again, but for a completely different reason. “Um. Yeah.”
“You don’t eat cake.”
It's true. Regulus told him that once on a date when James insisted on ordering dessert for them. He’d just forgotten to mention his only exception.
“Well. I do when it’s my birthday.”
The takeout container drops from James’ hands, forgotten. He stares at Regulus with utter horror, eyes wide and jaw hanging.
“Y-your— birthday— When? When the fuck did you have a birthday and not tell me about it?”
Regulus winces a bit at James’ tone, his brother’s earlier words coming back to him.
James is a birthday guy, okay? Any chance he gets to celebrate the people he loves is like… like a fucking holiday for him. So just let him have it.
Okay but I am not a “birthday guy," Sirius, Regulus had pointed out stubbornly. His brother of all people, the only other person with first person insight into their upbringing, should know this by now. Shouldn’t I have a say on who does and doesn’t know about my birthday? It’s not a big deal.
Sirius had sighed, one of those really put upon exhales that made Regulus roll his eyes at the drama of it all. Whatever, Reg. Tell your boyfriend or don’t, I don’t give a fuck. Just know if you don’t, you’ll regret it.
Not my boyfriend, Regulus had mumbled, resisting the temptation to add the word “yet.”
“You were out of town,” Regulus points out to James weakly.
He bats the excuse away. “So this past weekend, then. I was with your fucking brother, he couldn’t have mentioned it?”
“I asked him not to.”
“Of course you did. Oh my god, I wouldn’t have gone out of town if I knew, I would have planned something— a nice dinner, like steak or something, or no, you like that Italian place in town— and then we could have had a picnic on the beach because it was a full moon and I could have made chocolate covered strawberries because I know you like those, or actually I could have made you a fucking cake since you seem to eat them exclusively on your birthday.” He pauses his rant, looking increasingly agitated and distressed before turning to Regulus, incredulous. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have— I would have—”
“James,” Regulus says, stepping back into the kitchen, walking all the way up to him. “James. Hey.” It takes a second for the tension in James’ shoulder to drop completely, but when it does, Regulus continues. “My birthday isn’t— it’s not exactly my favorite day of the year. In fact, I try to treat it exactly like every other day, like there’s nothing special going on at all.”
“But that’s so sad,” James whispers.
Regulus shrugs. “Not to me. My parents made my birthdays hell. They were family events. It was about everyone in the world except for the person actually turning another year older and I had to wear fucking ties and I hated them and everyone there. And they never let me eat the cake. It was “for guests.”
James sighs. “Everyday, I think I can’t hate them more…”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Regulus admits. “I should have. I know you enjoy… celebrating.” He bumps James’ shoulder lightly with his fist. When he goes to move his hand, James captures it, holding it to his chest.
“I want to celebrate you however you want to be celebrated, baby.” James’ voice is soft and warm. Regulus closes his eyes and leans into it.
“However I want, hm?” he murmurs, his forehead resting against James’ chin. “You mean that?”
He feels James pull away before looking up, brown eyes engulfing him in a sea of sinful intentions.
“You know I do.”
“Thought you were hungry,” Regulus says breathlessly, already pulling them away, backing up in the direction of his room.
“Believe me,” James tells him shamelessly, “I am.”
#they are just so!!!!!#i had so much fun writing this#regulus not liking cake but eating it on his birthday as a fuck you to his parents who never let him have it is a new level of pettiness#i fucking love him#also! james knowing all the things regulus loves!!#the man pays attention! he's attentive as fuck!#and yeah... yeah james is very hungry actually now that u mention it#special shout out to the slutty gym tank tops#hope u enjoyed!#jegulus#jegulus microfic
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What is Sirius planning for James' upcoming birthday? (I promise I won't tell him). I assume the least Sirius can do is preparing breakfast to eat in bed together. And James has to go to physio therapy that day (these frailties don't get any less with age) so there's probably no time for a day trip. I can see them go to the garden centre to get everything needed to get their garden ready for spring. Harry and the grandkids probably won't visit until weekend.
Oooooh I like that we're talking about present-day, sixty-something James! Now, being in your sixties isn't old (even though no one on Tumblr will tell you that lol) but unfortunately James's body has taken quite a beating between the war and playing professional Quidditch. So yes, physio therapy it is! Breakfast in bed also, as well as breakfast cake and breakfast presents. Then, while James is at physio, Sirius decorates the house for that evening. He then picks up James at physio and they go to James Sirius's little league Quidditch match that afternoon (sorry, but James can't resist seeing his son and grandkids on the day of his birthday!). After an afternoon full of grandchildren and Quidditch, Sirius takes James home to a surprise birthday dinner that he's planned with Remus and Regulus. There's lots of cake, wine, and more presents. And then after those two go home, James and Sirius probably fuck nasty and then have a romantic, candlelit bath together or something, idk.
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Happy Birthday
Based on the headcannon that Sirius ran away on Reggie's birthday
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Sirius stared at the open trunk in front of him. He had already packed everything he needed, arranged everything with James and was ready to leave this shitty excuse of a family. He didn’t care about getting disowned or burned from the stupid family tree, he only cared about being finally free, about finally finding a loving and happy family.
But yet, there was something stopping him. Something that had had him hesitating about his decision for the past 20 minutes. Why couldn't he leave? It was as easy as going through the door, and if he was lucky, he would do that unnoticed. This wasn't just a silly prank like the ones he always did at Hogwarts, this was going to define his future, so he took the time to make a Plan B, and a Plan C and a Plan D, although he hoped that he wouldn't have to recur to those.
"Come on, Sirius. It has been your dream to leave since you were 11, so just fucking do it" He told himself. With a slightly shaky breath, he closed the trunk and was ready to grab his wand, which was lying on the ground, but then he heard a knock on the door.
"Sirius," A voice said on the other side of the door. Sirius' heart suddenly dropped to the ground, "Mother says you should come down. We are about to eat the cake" Regulus said, and Sirius noted sadness in his voice.
Silence. Suddenly he didn't know what to say, so he just stood there, in the middle of his now empty room (except for the wall decorations, purposely left there). He knew Regulus was still there, and Sirius had the urge to at least do something, to let his brother know that he was there, like he always did. He rushed towards the door, but stopped himself before grabbing the doorknob. After a second or two of hesitating, he finally opened it.
Regulus' eyes lit up when he saw his brother, although his expression stayed the same. He had barely come out of his room for the entire day, only early in the morning before everyone else was awake to wish Regulus a happy birthday. He had missed his birthday lunch and dinner—neither brother ever got to have a birthday party, so a family dinner was as far as they got—and had spent the entire day packing his stuff.
So, that was what was keeping Sirius from leaving. His brother. His little brother (Not so little anymore, though. He was already fourteen). He couldn't just leave him. Not when he had spent his entire life protecting him, trying to guide him into the right path instead of the one that his parents wanted him to go through. Yes, things had gotten quite difficult now that Voldemort was becoming more powerful everyday, but Sirius had never stopped loving or caring for his little brother, and was sure Regulus felt the same.
"Reggie" Sirius said, trying to smile, although he found it quite hard. He wanted to say a million more things to him, but he didn't have the courage to say them. "Come with me, let's leave this house together" "Don't stay" "I'm sorry. For everything" "Happy Birthday" "I love you".
"So… are you coming or not?" Regulus asked, and Sirius snapped back to reality, and looked at his brother in the eyes. He couldn't leave him behind, but how was he going to tell him? He was aware of the fact that Regulus had been manipulated by his parents to always be against his brother, so it was expected for him to react badly to the proposal. But instead, Sirius did what he best knew what to do: Fuck things up.
"I’m leaving" Sirius said, and Regulus looked at him in confusion.
"What?" He asked
"I'm leaving," Sirius repeated.
"What?" Regulus asked now in disbelief. Sirius felt a pang of pain in his heart as he watched his brother realize that it was not a joke, and that he was actually leaving, “W...Where? Why?”
“Well, it was obvious that at one point I would finally get fed up with our parents' bullshit, and that moment is now.” Sirius said, “I’m going to...to James’ ”
“Of course you are” Regulus muttered, his eyes flashing with anger, but his voice flooded by disappointment.
“Co...Come with me, Reg. We can live together and have a life of our own,” The oldest brother suggested, grabbing his little brother by the shoulders, but Regulus quickly shook him off.
“Are you… are you out of your mind?” Regulus said, angrily, “We wouldn't last two seconds outside before having hundreds of aurors looking for us… and...and you can't just leave like that!”
“Yes I can.” Sirius replied dryly, “And I swear we will be safe at James’ house with his family. We can have the life we always wanted, Reggie…”
“The life you always wanted, just because you were too blinded by your ego to realize that our parents only wanted us to be safe and successful!” Regulus interrupted him, and Sirius noted his eyes glimmering with tears. One part of Sirius wanted to scream to his little brother, to make him finally realize the truth, to wake him up from whatever their parents had poisoned Regulus mind with, but the other half wanted to stay just for him, wanted to go downstairs and finally act like the rightful heir of the Black family, just for Regulus.
“Reggie, please…”
“Don't call me that.”
“...Just, think about it. A life away from mother and father. You wouldn't have to be stressed all the time, you wouldn't have to carry such pressure over your shoulders. You wouldn't have to become them, you wouldn't have to join the Dark Lord! Think about it!” Regulus stayed quiet for a few seconds, seeming to have an internal war with himself. Sirius suddenly felt a flash of hope that maybe he had managed to convince his brother with that last idea, but then Regulus stood up straighter and his jaw clenched.
“You don't know anything about what I want” He answered.
“For fuck sake, Regulus!” Sirius snapped, starting to lose patience, “Wake up! Cant you realize you are being fucking manipulated by them?!”
“I'm perfectly capable of realizing when someone is using me, and that would not be the case in here!” His brother answered back, “You always talk about mother and father like they are the fucking devil himself, when everything they always wanted was just for us to be safe and to know what is best for us!”
“That's what they want you to think! They just want you to become like them, they just want you to lead you to a path that will make you unhappy. It's not too late to change everything. Just come with me! We can be happy with James and his family, we can form a new family!”
“Oh, its always about fucking James!” Regulus snapped, “James this, James that, James told me this…You seem to prefer him as your brother better than me!” Regulus shouted, pronouncing James’ name like it was poison, and Sirius said nothing for the next few seconds. Regulus was panting with anger, his fist clenched and a storm being unleashed in his grey eyes. Sirius’ blood was boiling by this point, and he didn’t see the point on continuing arguing, not when Regulus was this reluctant to open his fucking eyes for just one time.
“Fine,” Sirius managed to say, “Then stay the fuck alone in this house” He stormed back into his room, grabbed his wand and quickly casted a levitation charm on his trunk, not caring about the fact that he would most likely get a warning from the ministry. The ministry could suck his dick. He went out of his room again, his trunk following him floating a few inches from the ground, Regulus just standing there. He snapped back to reality once his older brother was already a few steps down the stairs.
“Sirius, please!” He said, grabbing his brother's wrist, but Sirius quickly let go, not bothering to look back, “Please, think about it!” His voice was now almost like a whisper, pain managing to creep through it.
“I’ve already thought plenty about this, Regulus, '' Sirius simply replied. His brother followed him down the other three flights of stairs, saying things that Sirius chose to ignore, as much as it hurted his heart deep down. He could hear the voices of his family members—ex family members— in the dining room, and that somehow encouraged him to leave faster. He reached the entrance hall and opened the front door. Rain was pouring outside, but that didn't stop him.
Sirius started walking quickly towards the sidewalk, his hair getting wet and falling over his shoulders due to the rain, his clothes getting soaked wet. “Wait!” Regulus called for him. Sirius stopped on his track and turned around to face him, surprised to see that he was running after him. He stopped, and both brothers looked in the eye.
“Please. You can't leave… You can't leave me” Regulus pleaded, his voice low and looking down to his feet. Sirius' expression softened a little, realizing this was his last chance to save his little brother.
“Then come with me, Reg” Sirius answered, this time in a softer tone, “I promise, everything we’ll do, we will do it together. I’ll never leave you alone, Reg. I swear”
“Then don’t leave!” Regulus shouted back. They were both now soaking wet, and Regulus had started to shiver a little, so he hugged himself in an attempt to cover his arms from the cold. Sirius felt the impulse to hug him and protect him from the cold, to protect him from the world, but he remained on his spot, looking at his brother.
“I have to, Regulus! I don't want to keep living on like this. I want to be free and to be whoever the fuck I want and to be surrounded by the people i love!” Sirius answered, and Regulus stared back, his eyes reflecting the moment his heart shattered, begging him to stay.
“Stay for me. I need you” He whispered, the sound of his voice slowly fading away with the pouring rain. Those words hit Sirius like a trainwreck.
“I won't stay, I’ve already told you that!” Sirius managed to say, although he hated himself. Of course the last thing he wanted was to leave his little brother behind, but he was just so tired and the only thing that he wanted to do was arrive to the Potter’s, where he knew he would always be welcomed, “If you so desperately want to be with me, then just fucking come with me!”
“I can't, Sirius. I can't!” Regulus shouted, “I cant.” He repeated himself, this time in a lower voice. Maybe he was waiting for Sirius to keep insisting, but he didn't. He made a decision, one that he would later come to regret the prior years. One that the cold and lonely cell in Azkaban would make him hate himself for. But the past can’t be undone, and with just three simple words, Regulus life was ruined forever.
“Then I'm sorry” Sirius said, “I really am, Reggie”
A sob escaped from Regulus lips, and a tear fell from his eyes, although it mixed with the raindrops that were falling down his cheeks. The brothers locked eyes for one last time. One last time, and they both understood that this was the end of it. Of everything.
“Happy birthday” Sirius said, and started walking away from the house, from his childhood, from his suffering, from his brother.
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Soo, this is my first time writing a one shot (can you call it like that?) and i'm quite happy w it :) English isnt my first language so there may be some mistakes.
Hope you liked it :)
#sirius black#regulus black#sirius and regulus#the black brothers#noble house of black#marauders#sirius imagine#james potter#marauders oneshot#remus lupin#regulus black headcanons#marauders headcanon
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Hey, I love your writing! Could you maybe do like Marlene makes Sirius and Remus do the boyfriend tag for the lions media page and the questions are just a mix of cute, normal things and then really really not so cute normal things 👀
I may have gotten a little carried away with this ideas, whoops! There isn’t much ~spicy~ stuff here, but if you guys liked it I’ll do a part 2! Writing this was easily the best part of my day. Credit for Coops and Sweater Weather goes to @lumosinlove!
“Hello, everyone, I’m Dorcas Meadowes, and welcome back to Lion Pride!” Dorcas smiled at the camera and waved. “Today I’m here with team captain Sirius Black and our newest player, Remus Lupin, for the boyfriend tag. They’ll be asking each other a series of questions and they are legally obligated to answer honestly!”
“Wait, really?” Remus asked, his eyes wide.
“No, but it’s a good idea anyway.” Dorcas shuffled the small stack of notecards in her hands and passed half to each of them. “I’m here to supervise and clarify if you need it.”
“Alright, first question: how did we meet?” Sirius grinned. “Take your time on this one.”
“We met in the PT room before I was formally introduced to the team because Pots unscrewed the lids of the Gatorade bottles and the spout hit you in the eye.”
“Oh my god, I forgot about that!” Sirius turned to the camera. “Watch out, Pots, vengeance is coming.”
“Question number two,” Remus laughed. “If we’re going out to eat, where are we going?”
“Sid’s.” They said in unison.
“Number three: What’s one food I don’t like?”
Remus paused and bit his lip. “That’s a tough one. You’re kind of like a black hole for food. Uh, maybe pickles?”
“Yeah, I hate pickles.” Sirius shuddered dramatically. “Leave the poor zucchini alone.”
“Pickles are made from cucumbers.”
“Same difference.”
“No, it’s not!”
“Moving on!” Dorcas interrupted. “Remus, you’re up.”
“This is why we need a supervisor,” he said to the camera. “Okay, question four. How many siblings do I have?”
Sirius lit up and beamed at him. “One! Jules!”
“Your number-one fan,” Remus teased.
Sirius glanced down at the next card and barked out a laugh. “Oh, I’m going to get roasted so hard here. Am I a morning person or a night person?”
“You are the earliest early bird of all time and it’s terrible,” Remus groaned. “Six a.m. rolls around and he’s wide awake while I’m barely a person until eight, and that’s assuming I’ve had coffee.”
“You’re the cutest zombie I’ve ever seen at seven in the morning,” Sirius said.
“Aw, babe. Question six: what’s our song?”
Sirius thought for a moment. “Hmm, I don’t know.”
“I was going to say, I don’t think we have one yet.”
“We’re taking suggestions if anyone has ideas,” Sirius said to the camera. “What’s my best friend’s name.”
“Harry Potter,” Remus answered without hesitating. “You only like Pots for his baby.”
“True.”
Remus started to read the next card, then looked to Dorcas. “Do I have to ask this one?”
“Yes!”
“Cover your ears, everyone. What’s my nickname?”
“LOOPS!” Sirius shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth. “But to me it’s mon loup. What’s my weirdest habit?”
Remus dropped his face into his hands. “Your order of operations. To anyone out there who still thinks Sirius Black is cool—stop kicking me!—last night he got stuck in his t-shirt because he was brushing his teeth at the same time.”
“It’s efficient!” Sirius protested, poking him in the calf one more time. “You don’t appreciate me.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Remus kissed him on the cheek. “Okay, what’s one of my special talents?”
“Hockey.”
“That doesn’t count,” Dorcas said.
“Bummer. You can sing really well.”
Remus’ ears went pink. “I don’t know about really well.”
“You do it all the time!”
“That doesn’t mean I’m good at it!” They both laughed until Dorcas cleared her throat.
“Sorry, sorry. Question number…something. If you were baking me a birthday cake, what flavor would it be?”
Remus snorted. “Bold of you to assume I can bake. But if I could, I’d do a vanilla cake with chocolate frosting.”
“You’d steal all the frosting off it, wouldn’t you.”
“Oh, definitely. Next question! Where was I born?”
Sirius was quiet for a solid ten seconds. “…Wisconsin?”
“What, the entire state?”
“I know you were born in a hospital.”
“Do you have any idea how many Wisconsin hospitals there are?”
“Well, you were only born in one of them.” Sirius shrugged. “I give up, what city?”
“I’m not telling you. You can call my mom and ask when we’re done here.”
“She’d tease me for days. I’ll get it out of you eventually.” Sirius shook his head and turned back to the cards. “Oh, here’s a good one: could you tell I liked you?”
Remus burst out laughing. “Are you kidding me? No!”
Sirius turned to face the camera. “If anyone out there doesn’t know the whole situation, we basically just stared at each other for, like, a year before anything happened.”
“I think the first time I started picking up on it was when I came back from vacation and got a fifteen-second hug from this one,” Remus said, pointing his thumb toward Sirius. “At that point I kind of went ‘…wait a minute’.”
“Let’s do the next question before you spill any more embarrassing stories.” Remus’ smile turned sharp. “Oh, no.”
“What was your first impression of me?”
“Hot.” Sirius’ eyebrows shot up. “Woah, I said that way too fast, didn’t I?”
“A little bit, but I appreciate it.”
“Are you comfortable with PDA?” Sirius looked over at Dorcas. In lieu of an answer, Remus scooted over on their shared couch and settled down in Sirius’ lap. “Hello.”
“Hi. As you can see, I can’t stand it if you even breathe on me in public.”
“God forbid we make eye contact.”
“In all honesty, I think we’ve already crossed the PDA bridge,” Remus said. “Once pictures of you and your boyfriend making out go viral, there’s really no incentive to tone it down. My turn: who’s my favorite musician?”
“Fucking ABBA.” Sirius let his head fall on the back of the couch. “Sorry, I mean ABBA.” Remus started whistling the intro to ‘Gimme, Gimme, Gimme’ and Sirius scrambled for his notecards. “What’s my favorite time of the year?”
It took Remus a minute to catch his breath from laughing. “Uh, fall. Autumn. We have the same favorite, actually.”
“It’s a great season. You get hockey, big sweaters, and there’s still a little bit of sunshine.”
“Halloween, too,” Remus added. “Oh, shit, you’re going to have a field day with this one. What word do I use the most?”
“Jeez.” Sirius gave him a big smooch on the cheek. “Such a Midwesterner. Where was our first kiss?”
“Pascal Dumais’ guest room, on a dark and stormy night,’ Remus said. “We got snowed in for Sirius’ birthday party.”
“It was really romantic though.”
“Yeah.” Remus planted a quick kiss on his lips before grabbing the next card. “Who would win in an argument?”
“What’s the argument about?” Sirius asked. “Dorcas, is there a specification?”
“I think we trade off,” Remus mused. “We don’t fight much.”
“Nah. Kissing or cuddling?”
“What about it?”
“Which one do each of you prefer?” Dorcas clarified. She hadn’t stopped smiling since the interview started.
“Ohhhhh.” Remus readjusted himself in Sirius’ lap so he was leaning against the armrest more. “I mean, both are great.”
“Agreed.”
“Last question for me!” Remus waved his final notecard in Sirius’ face. “How would you describe my style? Tread carefully, Cap.”
Sirius thought hard for a moment. “This is a dangerous question, Dorcas. Um, you’re going to hate me for this.”
“Spit it out, Black.”
“Sexy librarian?”
“Fuck off.”
“See! I told you!”
“Sexy librarian? Really? At least I own clothing other than monochrome t-shirts!”
“I have my game day suit, too.”
“…the suit is nice.”
Dorcas was laughing too hard to get them back on track, so Marlene had to motion at them from behind the camera. “Sorry, Marlene, we’ll finish up. Okay, Fruit Loop, am I a dog or a cat person?”
“I think you love dogs more than you love me,” Remus said. “You don’t hate cats, though.”
“First of all, that’s not true, I love you most.” Sirius kissed him soundly on the lips. “Second of all, Regulus is enough of a cat person for both of us.”
“I was genuinely afraid we’d come home and find out he’d adopted eight kittens while he was still living with us. Dorcas, is that it?”
“That’s it,” she confirmed, still dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. “Great job, you guys killed it. Thanks for watching everyone, and make sure to stay updated with Lion Pride social media!”
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giving sirius the childhood he deserves part 4
“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE?”
remus choked as he entered the kitchen, smoke obscuring his view.
“sirius? sirius are you in here?”
out of the window above the sink, remus could make out the faint figure of his boyfriend waving a pan in the middle of the garden.
bursting out of the back door, remus headed towards the still burning food.
“what are you doing?”
sirius turned to face his boyfriend, revealing his ridiculous oven gloves.
“i was trying to make you something nice for our anniversary, but it didn’t really go to plan.”
“yes i can see that.”
sirius sat down on the grass defeatedly.
“i just wanted to do something special and you’re always the one that cooks and i-i don’t want to keep going to restaurants.”
remus wrapped a slender arm around sirius’ shoulders.
“well i can teach you if you like.”
sirius sniffed and shook his head.
“it’s okay, i already made a back-up reservation made at the italian anyway.”
remus planted a light kiss on sirius’ head, before helping him to his feet and leading him back inside.
“remus?”
“when did you learn to cook?”
“don’t do this, love.”
“you learnt with your mum, didn’t you?”
remus exhaled shakily and nodded ever so slightly. sirius swore and slammed the dish he was still holding on the counter. remus jumped and started to move towards his boyfriend, who left the room with tears in his eyes.
after a couple of minutes of deliberation in the middle of the kitchen, remus pulled a handful of recipe books off the shelf and headed upstairs.
he pushed the door open gently his gaze instantly falling to sirius, who was staring up at the ceiling blankly, tear stains still visible on his cheeks. he sat up as remus joined him on the bed.
“i didn’t mean to shout. i jus-”
remus reached out to gently run his thumb over sirius’ cheek.
“it’s okay. look, i brought these up so maybe we can go through them and we can a pick a couple of dishes to make together?”
sirius smiled up at remus, reaching for the closest book.
“can we make a birthday cake?”
“sure. for who?”
“for regulus. he’s obviously never had one so maybe?”
“i-yeah. why don’t we invite him and james for dinner and do the cake as dessert?”
“okay, i’ll ring them now so they keep next sunday free.”
remus nodded and began writing out a shopping list, including additional quantities in preparation for the disaster that would likely take place.
sirius burst back into room with a smile - “they’re coming!”
—
remus woke up and rolled over to check the time.
“sirius! sirius, wake up, it’s half nine!”
sirius sat up and pushed his hair back behind his ear.
“so? they’re not coming till seven.”
“but how are we supposed to let chicken marinate for five hours and then cook it and then put the cake in and have it all ready in time? get up!”
remus ripped the duvet off the bed, earning an exclamation from sirius who flinched at the sudden cold.
by the time sirius got down to the kitchen, remus already had measured the ingredients for the chicken pie. the kettle boiled and sirius went to pour himself a cup of coffee but remus swatted his hand away.
“that’s for the pastry - you can’t drink it.”
sirius looked around and shrugged.
“where’s the book? with the instructions.”
“i don’t have one for this pie - it’s just my mum’s recipe. it’s in here” remus said tapping the side of his head, accidentally leaving a flour mark.
sirius giggled as remus shook his head, realising his mistake.
“okay what can i do?” sirius asked, reaching across the counter to prod the ball of pastry remus kneading.
“well not that. but you can make the marinade if you want. it’s super easy just put-”
remus reeled off a list of spices half of which sirius had never heard of and even didn’t know they had in their cupboards.
“-and put it in the same bowl as those pieces of chicken over there. then just mix it all together, but make sure the chicken is properly covered - it might be okay easier to use your hands because spoons often miss a bit.”
it felt like a tonne of information but sirius nodded anyway.
“it’s so squidgy!” he squealed, quickly retracting his hands.
“NO!”
remus lunged across the room as sirius went to lick his finger.
“what?”
“it-that’s raw chicken! do you want to die?”
“die? remus i-”
“sorry i didn’t mean to be so aggressive but-”
“you have my express permission to be aggressive if you’re about to save my life” sirius assured him.
remus nodded and turned back to the pastry tin he was lining and brushing over with an egg wash.
“baby?” sirius asked tentatively, not wanting to question remus’ methods or experience, “why have you made the pastry so early if the chicken has to sit around for a few hours?”
“it has to be cooked once before, and then we’ll add the chicken and the pastry lid and then cook it properly.”
“oh okay.”
sirius hoisted himself onto the counter and sat quietly watching remus’ eyebrows get closer and closer together as he cut small leaf shapes out often excess pastry.
“you okay?” remus asked once he’d put the pastry in the oven.
sirius nodded, fiddling with the punnet of strawberries that were on the side.
“can we make the cake now?”
“let’s wash this stuff up first before the mess becomes too unbearable.”
sirius rolled his eyes.
“but that’s so boring.”
remus’ eyes flashed up at him and he sighed as he jumped off the counter to collect the dirty cutlery. with the draining board now full, remus turned to face sirius, pushing a handful of bubbles into his face.
“hey!” sirius spluttered, picking up his own bubbles to smear across remus’ cheeks.
remus smiled, the soap dripping into his mouth. he blew a kiss in his boyfriend’s direction, the bubbles floating down in between them. sirius grinned as remus turned away to open the recipe book to a chocolate cake.
“cakes are pretty easy” remus explained. “you throw everything in one bowl, mix it and put it in the oven. no! stop! not literally throw.”
“it makes it more fun. let me throw one egg - just one.”
“it has to go in the bowl, okay?”
“no promises” sirius said with a wink.
he picked up the biggest egg he could find and launched it at the bowl remus was holding up. it caught the edge of the glass bowl, and as the yolk split, some of it hit remus.
“right, you’ve had your fun, now come and wipe it up so we can finish this on time.”
sirius raised his eyebrow at remus’ sharp tone: “yes sir.”
remus stuck his tongue out as he crouched down to take the pastry out of the oven. he quickly covered the base in the chicken and put the lid on top. returning the pie to the oven, remus stood back up to continue making the cake batter.
“it says here” sirius said as he watched remus add cocoa powder, “that i should lick the spoon.”
remus snorted.
“does it really?”
“mhmm.”
“well i guess we’d better follow the instructions then” remus said as sirius’ eyes glowed.
“this tastes so good, moony!”
“well you can’t have any more” remus said, moving the bowl out of sirius’ reach, “or there won’t be any left to actually go in the oven.”
“oh” sirius said with a hint of disappointment.
“it’ll taste better once it’s actually cooked.”
sirius screwed up his nose in disbelief, but put his dirty spoon in the sink anyway.
“can you wash the strawberries please?” remus asked as he started to weigh out more chocolate for the icing.
“what strawberries?”
“the ones that were on the si- DID YOU FUCKING EAT THEM?”
“i saved some for you” sirius said sheepishly, holding out two single berries. “okay i’ll go to the shop quickly. be back soon.”
leaving a small kiss on remus’ cheek, sirius left.
the doorbell rang just as the oven timer went off. rushing to find the oven gloves to take the pie out of the oven, remus noticed the bottle of wine on the side that hadn’t been put in the fridge to chill.
rolling his eyes, he carefully pushed the pie out of its baking tin and answered the door.
regulus stood on the doorstep with james’ arms thrown casually over his shoulders.
“happy birthday!”
regulus smiled as remus let them in. sirius suddenly appeared behind them holding four packets of strawberries.
“what?” he said indignantly as all three of them looked at him. “i didn’t know how many we’d need.”
“i-okay” remus said, as they all headed into the kitchen.
the evening passed quickly as sirius rushed the pie to get the cake to the table. regulus pretended to coverhis ears as they sang at him terribly. with james’ head on his shoulder, regulus slapped his hand over his boyfriend’s mouth so he could blow the candles out by himself. james bit at his fingers and regulus crinkled up his nose.
as regulus cut the cake sirius watched his brother’s expression carefully, taking in the slight colour change in his cheeks. eventually regulus was unable to hide it any longer, and his smile spread uncontrollably across his face. he looked up across the table at sirius, who nodded, matching regulus’ smile.
“you were wrong, you know,” sirius mumbled to remus, with his slice of cake in front him, “it does not taste better cooked.”
#harry potter#remus lupin#sirius black#wolfstar#sirius x remus#remus x sirius#cake batter tastes better than the final product fight me
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