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sorio99 · 3 years

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Deltarune Chapter 2: Live Thoughts

So, since the new chapter of Deltarune came out, I've played it all the way through, so, here are my thoughts as I had them. Basically a live-blog, but, not live anymore, I wrote these in my notes app before.

NOTE: Obviously there are going to be ALL THE SPOILERS for Deltarune Chapter 2 in this, as well as Chapter 1. Reader discretion is advised.

Wow, okay, so I was wrong about it being immediately explained.

Various descriptions have changed, and I’m not sure if it’s because of the change to a new game, or the one to a new chapter.

I feel like Berdly is definitely a m’lady guy.

Okay, so, we’re not skipping class this time.

I really wish we could call Toriel and tell her we’re gonna be late again, but I couldn’t see an option for that. Maybe Kris told her on the ride to school.

Okay, so, Noelle is definitely adorable, and a huge lesbian.

Susie seems lovestruck too, kinda.

SHE HAD CHALK, AND SHE DIDN’T TELL ALPHYS BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT SHE AND SUSIE COULD GO GET IT TOGETHER OH MY GOD

Okay, honestly wasn’t expecting the closet to work again.

Fricking LOVE the new transition.

Okay, so, Ralsei knows about, the real world? How, why, and what?

Oh, that, makes, a little sense? But also, if we hadn’t brought the toys over to the closet then, would they all be, dead?

AND WHAT IS RALSEI IN THIS CONTEXT?!?!

Okay, but I love the new town.

Holy shit, save points have storage, AND a spare list? Hell yeah.

So, we’re all level 2 now. I guess they moved from EXP based (or, execution point based?) to Milestone.

Love the basement for bad guys, with K. Round standing guard.

Bitch said “Child abusers live in Hamster Cage”.

Wait, he uses the hamster wheel?

I don’t know if I believe the king about his “bluff” or not. I think not, but, I don’t know.

I can see the “Susie moves to Ralsei’s castle to escape her abusive home” fic already.

RALSEI GAVE KRIS A TRASHCAN, AND SAID IT WAS FOR THE MANUAL IF HE GIVES US ANOTHER ONE OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY MY SWEET FLUFFY BOY

And of course, the moss call-back.

Oh god, Susie just said “My own room, huh.” and my heart is ready to shatter.

This girl has one actual food item in her fridge, and it’s just salsa

Oh, scratch that, there’s ice, crumbs, and jawbreakers in there too?

Oh, okay, Ralsei did give her actual food.

Entering Lancer’s room gives the cartoon Splat sound effect from Chapter 1, and his bedroom is identical to Chapter 1.

Perfect.

And the sound effect, plays in reverse when leaving? Okay.

So, explore until we’re ready to leave, huh? Seems, suspicious.

Oh my god, I just realized, the LightCandy is literally the chalk Noelle gave Susie. What the fuck.

So, for giving the Top back his cake, we get regenerating SpinCake that heals everyone for 140. Nice.

Battle challenges, huh? This should be interesting.

So, we can get a ClubsSandwich, $100, or…Jigsaw Joe’s entire life savings. Okay.

Aw, Clover has separate heads in their dialogue box!

Just realized this “dojo” also has their bed. Odd.

Alright, let’s take these challenges!

Oh, so if we act with Kris, than spare with Ralsei or Susie…got it!

He has a mercy meter. There’s a mercy meter now. I love this.

Oh, of course his life savings is exactly one dollar.

I can already tell the Graze challenges are gonna be the biggest bitches.

Okay, so, being able to rematch bosses, with different gimmicks and attacks, but based on the same logic? Always amazing.

I love the little cut-ins from the other characters with certain lines, like Susie and Lancer revealing “for a price” means zero dollars.

“Cookie and Wife”?

The Blacksmith runs a bakery where he can fuse items…okay.

Imma get a Silver Card.

What the fuck, Mr. Society?

Okay, so, we’re “leaving” through the way we came in, so “surely” we’re going back “home” to the “real world” and our “family”. Sure.

LANCER was added to your key items.

Oh was he now?

And so was Rouxls, “even though no one wanted that.”

Oh, we, actually went back to the light world. Huh. Actually wasn’t expecting that.

Jack of Spades, and the Rules Card. Makes sense.

Still LV 1 here, thankfully. No murder yet.

Okay, thankfully I can call Toriel now.

…Undyne, what the fuck?

Also? This, car horn music, I guess? Is, um…interesting.

Oh, the, computer lab. Where Toby was in Chapter 1. Okay. Makes sense.

“Guess this means we can’t start our project.” I’d say the biggest obstacle is more that we have no clue what the hell this project is supposed to be.

Hmm, we could use the computer at my house, or we could have a fun Toby Fox adventure…

My house!

I knew Susie wouldn’t allow it, also, you always wanna jump in big pits? That’s, worrying.

Computer lab time!

So, computer themed, maybe?

Rouxls jumped out, apparently. According to Lancer.

Okay, this build up is creepy, where’s the fluffy boy?!

Who is SHE?!

Was

Was that Noelle’s chatter sound?

Asking for help?

OH MY GOD

ITS THE REINDEER LESBIAN

SHES BEEN TAKEN

NOOOO

And, I suppose, this must be, our queen.

Q5U4EX7YY2E9N. Sure. I’ll stick with Queen, yeah.

Oh, she’s a computer! That…that’s probably not, great?

Oh, those plugs are bad, brainwashers. Okay.

Okay, they’re both tired…but Ralsei isn’t here. Fuck.

Aiming at moving targets is hard.

2 Werewires spared, only 4 to go, I guess!

RALSEI IS BACK, YAY!

Fun Gang, back together, working to save Susie’s soon-to-be-girlfriend!

Rhythm game to start a new bumping song. Nice.

Might live blog less from here, since, you know, the game is starting proper.

God, I love Deltarune’s look and sound, it’s so clean? And expressive, and AAAGH, I just love it!

I love angry Ralsei.

First lose control laughing moment: Kris and Susie squishing Ralsei like a toothpaste tube, to play an arcade game.

Did, did I just play Punch-Out inside an Undertale?

Curing computer viruses with Syringes…sure.

Sweet is the rhythm guy! Nice to meet you, Sweet! You and Toby are great at this music thing.

Hey, Susie can act now! Awesome!

Ralsei too, because of bullying! Yay!

Now the whole gang’s dancing!

(This is where I took my first real break, to process stuff and relax, and also to sleep)

In between thought: it’s kinda interesting that, in Chapter 1, Susie basically had to be forced to care about Kris, Ralsei, and Susie, but as soon as Noelle is in the slightest bit of danger, she’s immediately like, “We have to save her or die trying”, huh?

“Reverse diss-tracks, where the vocalist puts themselves down and praises Queen…or noise music.” That’s some, interesting taste in music.

“All our songs are only 4 seconds long!” Damn, so you’re, like, Vine musicians?

So, the Knight is opening alternate fountains, that create dark worlds out of, more mundane places? Interesting…

So, someone new is leading the rebels. This, can’t go well.

Smorgasbord 2.

Oooh, a TP raising Item! Nice!

Oh, the guy who was already working for Queen is a Werewire now. Okay.

66 up arrows. Hmmm, I wonder if I can retry at some point…

Oh boy. Here’s the queens…wait what?

Oh my god.

Go kart time.

Noelle, you traitor! How could you!

Oh, okay. Berdly I believe more.

Also, “beloved”.

I love how Queen apparently didn’t even ask him.

“Light Nerds” Good one, Queen.

That’s one weird Check for Berdly.

Berdly, for God’s sakes, Noelle is a lesbian, you idiot.

You know, given this villain rant, I think I hate Berdly more than I do King. And I’ve dealt with both bullies AND abusive dads.

Oh god, Roller Coaster Tycoon murder (also Berdly is dead)

Garbage! Saved by it again.

Oh, this place looks glitchy.

Also, Susie, you’re not the king of the trash pile. You’re QUEEN of the trash pile.

Oh god, please don’t tell me she’s dying.

Okay, good, she just needed fluffy boy hug.

Fork in the path, advantageous to split up, huh? But there’s three of us, and, two paths probably.

Okay, I can either go with the Fluffy boy who might secretly be evil, or the mean girl who might get lesbian scenes…hmmm…

I’m flipping a coin.

Okay, Ralsei it is!

Oh, Susie is upset at me getting to pick.

Oh, they’re going together.

Oh, this can’t be good.

If I had a nickel for every indie game with a cat themed metropolis on my pc, I’d have two nickels. You can finish the meme.

I swear I just saw Noelle on the right. Something big in the streets, hmmmm…

Okay, definitely saw Noelle that time. Shame the Poppups, popped up.

…I get it, Toby, but I’m still mad.

Blocked 10 ads…okay, I still love this game.

God, I’m already missing my party members.

Okay, so I still have Lancer, but, I’m really hoping Noelle listens to reason, because Lancer is, not.

Oh god no, don’t fight me now Queen. And please don’t join me.

Alright, nobody likes Berdly. Figured.

God they’re so dumb.

“G-got any room for another truce?” Noelle, I would do a No Mercy run for you, of course I’m going to help you.

I can’t believe “No Triple Trucies” is even an option.

Yay! Noelle in party!

“LV1 Snowcaster. Might be able to use some cool moves.” She’s got Heal Prayer, a more powerful (but more expensive) Pacify, and a damaging Ice move for only 16% TP.

I love her.

I don’t know what a sugarplum is myself, actually.

Noelle, you have a one track mind, and I like it.

Lancer, she’s not a cream, and we’re not making her a bad guy.

Oh, and she’s scared of mice, I love it!

Ah, she’s never been in battle before, let’s see how this goes.

See? That wasn’t so bad, Noelle.

Oh, she’s a natural!

“Needles aren’t scary…” Tell that to anyone under 20, Noelle.

Also, “subtle” pro-Vax message?

Oh my god, I just love her animations.

So, the virus and the syringe are fighting…hm…

Okay, so, first, Noelle’s defend animation, also perfect.

Second, so Ambyu-lance’s bullets block and destroy Virovirokun’s…hmm…

Have I mentioned how much I love Noelle? This funky little Christmas Lesbian can do no wrong.

Oh my god, she can’t even confidently say we’re friends, and hearing Kris say it makes her happy, I love her so much.

Okay, so, Queen drinks Battery Acid. Makes sense for a computer.

Kris is so done with this shit, I can tell.

I am both scared of and loving Queen.

Oh Jesus Christ Berdly what the fuck is that.

That is not greatness that is…I don’t know. I’m pretty sure even tumblr isn’t horny for you, Berdly.

Christ, he’s gonna break Queen by being an idiot and then he’ll be the Chapter boss.

Her eyes say lying. Of course.

“I Did Not Know You Had… Nipples” that’s, a good point.

…Berdly, you disturb me.

Second lost control laughing moment: Noelle’s cardboard robot face, and Queen just saying “Wow Cool Face”

Lancer, what is the “illusory nipple technique”?

Oh, of course the music bots built the statue. Berdly would never do manual labor.

Oh, and, they built the next “big” thing…hmmmm…

Why are we, flavors of tea???

Okay, that should be all the werewires for now.

The, clothing store, sold me, a useless mannequin, for $300. Of course.

I am going to touch the cheese.

Maus!

Cheese maze, purposely ruined to spare more Mices.

Hmm, Berdly talks about Noelle’s crush. $20 says he actually thinks it’s him, or maybe Kris at a stretch.

Noelle is now immune to mice! Yay!

Oh, CD Bagel, Seedy Bagel, just got that.

Okay, sacrifice pacifist run to kill Berdly…I’m tempted.

Uh, Berdly, Noelle just one shot both your allies. I’m not alone, you are.

Jokes on you, buddy, I’ve been dodging A+ for years!

“(He hit me in the face with a tornado…)” Yes, Noelle, and I have papercuts on my eyelids. He do be an asshole.

Oh good, they both made Battery Acid Pies. Now we’re in a car together. Perfect. This is exactly how I wanted things to go.

Potassium

Who is this trash man?

Spamton, huh. Oh boy.

Oh god, this song has lyrics.

Oh joy, a mini boss on my own. Just what I wanted.

Oh, new game over screen! Nice.

Anyways, I hate this guy.

Okay, just one more deal, I think. I wonder what’s next.

I’m not giving you my credit card info, dude.

Oh damnit, 1% more.

Okay, I’m very scared now.

Oh, I lost $51. That’s, fair.

Okay, back in the car.

Oh my god, Queen loves Noelle too. Perfect.

Lancer took the mixtape! Nice!

Oh, he ate it…nice!

DECEMB…

Oh god she’s a little kid.

December.

I’m so sorry, Noelle. I really hope you’re going to be okay. We’ll figure out what to do.

Queen, why does everything you have explode?

Now the prize is on my head.

Susie and Ralsei! You’re back!

She can slightly heal me now…cool!

And she taught him Sarcasm. I love them all so much.

Uh, Susie! You can have it!

Okay, so, now Susie is both gay for Noelle, and suspicious of her. Amazing.

And Noelle is turned on by the threat of being killed. Have I mentioned I love these dorks?

The gang’s all here!

Uh, just got past fireworks, and, where’s Noelle?

Oh, okay. She was just watching Fireworks.

Oooo, catching mice minigame!

Oooo, more elaborate but simpler to control mice minigame!

Oooo, bucket hole!

Also, nice gay Noelle moment noted.

Oh no, please don’t take the perfect girl away from us!

Okay, so, I don’t like Berdly, but, Acid river? Bit much…

Oh, okay. He was never in danger. I hate both of you. GIVE US BACK NOELLE

GOD DAMNIT NOT THE CAGE AGAIN.

Oh, great, now we’re captured too. Except possibly Ralsei.

She only plays mobile games. Burn her.

For once Berdly is correct.

Queen, you are dumb.

Is that the super Mario world fade?

I don’t, next question.

No looking at my Search history!

Oh, hey, we can chat in here.

LANCER TIME!

YES I MISSED YOU YOU DOPE

Lancer, never say Pants hole again, and never say you were inside it either.

Lancer, do you still not know our name?!

So this is how they lampshade the tutorial-Toriel thing, huh?

Oh no, Lancer, please don’t die in here.

Um, are there rooms for all the kids at school?

Asriel…

Puzzle time!

Plot twist: Susie is not Susan.

Berdly is dumb.

Admittedly, I did brute force that second one a bit…

Okay, now Susie has outsmarted both me AND Berdly. This is sad.

Oh god, he’s gonna cry now.

Oh, my god, that’s what December meant. That’s why Berdly cares about Noelle. That’s why…oh god.

Oh wow, Susie’s a gamer. This is incredible Lore.

Oh wow, first Lancer’s face returns, now Berdly is Anime. I love this game.

Oh my god, Ralsei in a tux. I love him.

Alright, so, Lancer needs to go back to Castle Town, and we need to get the heck to Noelle. I hope Berdly’s plan actually works…

Aw, I wanted him to stay tuxedo…

Color Cafe, huh?

Oh god, Rouxls came here. I am terrified.

I love this hype manor song!

Toby Fox, why is there so much 3D Shenanigans in this 2D Top Down RPG???

Note: from here, I end up going to the secret of this chapter. Do not read if you don’t want to be spoiled on that plotline. Skip to where I say Pancake Batter.

Okay, I’m going back, and I’m gonna find this third blue check mark.

Okay, found it, now to get back to the guy…

Yay, fireworks, again!

East treasure’s hallway leading to Basement on 1F…

Oh dear.

So there’s a secret here after all…where is…

Found it!

Okay, how to open this lock, now…hm.

Well, one thing was in the field, so, maybe in the city?

Oh Jesus it’s Spamton.

$28, not a penny more.

KeyGen, huh…

If this is as hard as Jevil, I’m gonna be pissed.

Oh, great, just Kris going in. Again. Fantastic.

Oh what the fuck.

Oh Jesus Christ I hate this build up.

Oh, and I died on the elevator. That’s fun.

Okay, so I hate this elevator. A lot.

Okay! Took like six tries, but I made it past the elevator! Now, let’s see what’s waiting for me…

EmptyDisk…hmmmmmmmm…

Maybe take that back to Scamton or whoever?

…Ralsei, Susie, what are you two doing?

Okay, trash man, you better like this.

Oh Jesus Christ.

Okay, this is not what I expected to follow Jevil’s lead. But, let’s see what happens when I turn this disk in.

Oh, nothing happened. Sure it did. Just gonna walk away then…

Oh, wouldn’t you know it, something happened!

Okay, so big puppet robot man. This is terrifying.

THANK YOU SUSIE!

Roller coaster boss! Again! Oh good!

YELLOW SOUL!

Can’t write notes, gotta kill.

Spamton, oh my god. And it’s Neo’s outfit. How the fuck did I not realize before?

Im terrified, let’s GOOOOOO!

Holy shit is that the Undertale Game Over message??????

Many tries later

Okay, I think it’s actually Ralsei and Susie talking…

Quitting the game so they can get their healing items out of storage and buy some good ones extra later

Okay, third turn, and I’ve only been hit once! Granted, it did almost 50 damage to Susie, but, still, doing better this time!

Even more death later

Did he just, attack himself?

Is he surrendering?

I…I did it! I did it in one sitting! Minus quitting so I could grab healing items that did more than 40 HP!

Oh, he killed him by freeing him…….okay.

Dealmaker, huh? Let’s see what this bad boy is…

+4 defense, +5 magic (even on Kris?), and $+30%…”and…?”

Okay, Ralsei, you get that, Susie get’s Jevilstail, and I get many questions.

Alright, now back to the actual plot!

Oh…Kris has goosebumps, and Susie’s asking if they’re okay…no. I’m saying no.

I love these two so much. Now let’s save the adorable lesbian.

Pancake Batter. Alright, we’re good.

Sorry, Noelle, got distracted.

Mouse wheel!

Tasque manager helped!

Man, this room is big and empty, with an odd exit door and screens on the north wall. Hmmmm…

Toby!

Thank you annoying dog!

Okay, I still love this music. Just wanted to say that. Anyways, PROGRESS!

We’re tea covered now. Except Susie. She’s tea filled.

Oh god, I don’t trust Berdly with Susie.

God, Knight teased.

Duck ride with Fluffy Boy.

Okay, so, puzzle time, methonk.

High Five!

More duck ride!

Ralsei, do you wanna do the kissy?

Oh boy.

Oh jeez.

Oh damn.

Rouxls.

Ralsei, you read my mind.

Oh Jesus it’s the tank from the first game.

Okay, so, we, take houses? Okay.

I can’t believe some people thought this dork was Gaster.

Wow, I beat him in like 3 and a half turns because I blocked him in.

Another God Dammit because SOMEONE didn’t pay attention to what happened to Lancer.

His head is still blue…

Hey, Camera! Peace signs and hugs!

Mostly hugs.

Yay, more Susie and Noelle time!

Oh my god, my heart is breaking.

Okay, I love these adorable girls.

Oh boy, this is, weird.

“Point and hearts come out” or “Eat moss”. The choice of a generation.

Fair point, Susie.

She likes scary things, huh.

Kinky

Have I mentioned how much I love these two? Because I do.

Susie and Noelle are best girls ever, no objections.

Oh good, Berdly, don’t ruin this completely, okay?

I fucking knew it.

Noelle, you’re going to kill him, and that’s okay with me.

Susie, stop squishing him like toothpaste!

Oh boy, I get big “final boss” energy right now…

Werewerewire?!

Okay, so I just stole from Noelle’s room.

Okay, boss time.

Shit, I should’ve healed up.

Okay, so, I died, but, I can fix that!

So, this boss is calling back to how the town’s internet has gone out, a fact I didn’t even learn until watching other content last night when I should have been sleeping, because I forgot to talk to Alphys during the brief chance I had.

Also, now both she and Ralsei have made reference to the real world outside…hmmmm…

So I guess the plot is about Google search being evil…yeah that checks out.

Bitch, did you just funny runny way?

Hmm, I’d say 50/50 odds of him being a drama Queen vs. him trying to trick Susie into caring about him.

Yep, he’s trying to score a kiss. Berdly…get a job.

Alright, let’s save Noelle, and possibly the whole town.

The “Roaring” Knight?

Oh god, the determination…who is this Knight, what is going on, and how involved are we?

Wait wait wait wait wait wait WAIT

When she described the Knight making more darkness, she said they took their blade, and showed an image of a knife. Was…was this…

HOLY SHIT IS KRIS’S NIGHT SELF THE KNIGHT?!?!

Oh. It was a giant robot. Not a statue.

Susie’s dancing!

Oh yeah, he can fly.

Resistance! Yay!

Okay, so, we sentai up in this bitch.

I wonder how the hell this story would go if we didn’t go pacifist then? Because in Chapter 1, all that really changed was how the boss was defeated in the cutscene, and like a couple details later. This is, a lot more than that.

Okay, so, three rounds of HP, punch out for her turns, just keep attacking. Got it.

Two rounds down, one to go!

Yes, eat your own Baseball, bitch!

Oh, suicide attack. Well it was just a robot.

Oh. She still has us.

Oh fuck the robot is Noelle’s mom. Fuck.

Okay, so, Queen is dead.

Oh fuck, don’t take over the world with darkness all of you, please.

The Roaring?

Oh fuck, new legend lore.

Titans, Fountains, enveloping the land in devastation. Oh jeez.

Lost eternally in an endless night…that’s not paradise. That’s hell.

QUEEN IS ALIVE?!?! AND DIDN’T KNOW ANY OF THAT?!?!

Thank you, Susie!

Okay, that’s a good ending for a second chapter, it’s dark fountain time!

Susie, please don’t turn evil.

…

And, we’re in the computer lab!

Wait, Ms. Boom? Does, does Gerson have a daughter, or wife?

Lost control laughing #3: this

I love this game so much. Time to explore town again.

Okay, Alphys does crush on Undyne still, at least.

Oops, I just let all the prisoner dogs out.

Awww, Undyne likes Alphys too!

Napstablook, I love you.

Oh shit, Asgore used to be a pig?

Oh god, this Rudy storyline is gonna be depressing all the way through, huh?

Susie, can we steal the tower of the gods?

Hey, we can actually go back to Ralsei’s dark world?!

Okay, this is gonna be interesting.

Oh thank god, we can save in the epilogue now, cool.

Oh cool, King and Queen together.

Oh my god he calls her Queenie Beanie. I love this.

So, a card and a computer fucked to make Lancer, who is a card. Okay.

Okay, so Lancer DOES know Kris’s name! Just not Ralsei’s!

New battle challenges! Yes!

Might save “Ch. 2 All-stars” for another time, though…

Perfection is the mannequin reaction.

Oh my god there’s a dedicated room for listening to music I love this

Alright, time to skedaddle back to the real world.

Okay, so Alvin is Gerson’s son, and he’s depressed. Fun.

Oh, MK and Snowy are by the creepy bunker. That’s…fun.

Okay, so, Susie scared them off after they insulted Kris, because Kris said something about the bunker…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

Hey, Nice Cream Guy is one of the Ice-E’s employees! Nice!

Ah, PizzaPants. Never change.

Oh hey, it’s the little guy, who’s clone is a Gaster follower. And the bird guy’s still in the library, and the donut guy is still in his car…

Hey, Catty and Bratty are becoming friends again! Cool!

Omg, Sans’s store is open. Do I…go in?

Hell yes I do!

Okay, so, Grillby’s music still, but, different interior. Interesting…

Sans, a day and 2 years in this game are not equivalent. It’s a day and 3 years.

The trousle grows further away.

Oh jeez Susie’s been drinking the milk. Oh god.

Cool, Susie’s seeing Onion too!

Oh, never mind.

A song is coming from deep under the water…either Shyren is involved, or this is gonna take a turn.

See you, Su-

Oh! Hey mom! Meet Susie!

Pie for all!

Oh my god, Susie, my heart is breaking.

Okay, so Alphys and Toriel know about the chalk. That, kinda makes Susie thinking she’d get expelled for it, really depressing.

Okay, so, Toriel and Susie are gonna make Pie together, that’s cool. Still, pretty worried about, Kris.

Uh, I just ran the sink, and, uh…

WHAT THE FUCK

OKAY SO MY SOUL IS UNDER THE SINK, KRIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY IS IT BLACK OUT THE WINDOW WHERE ARE YOU GOING

WHAT THE FUCK

…so we get a cute scene with Susie and Toriel, then Susie asks where Kris is and…they do this sometimes?

I’m very concerned.

Okay, Toriel is concerned too, enough to say “hell”. Even Susie is shocked.

Okay, so, they’re coming back, uh, okay, this isn’t good, right?

Stopped the faucet, opened the drawer, and…we’re back?!

Kris what the fuck are you doing

And why couldn’t we find Asgore in the town?

Okay, so, we’re all sleeping in the living room. I, guess tomorrow’s the weekend, probably? I don’t know?

Susie, doesn’t have caring parents, I guess?

Oh god, Susie wants them to come to our world, but, Lancer is a playing card, he can’t…I don’t know. I’ll say it’s “far-fetched”.

There’s a festival, apparently. This seems…suspicious.

I’d take Ralsei, so you could take Noelle.

She’s asleep.

That, might not be good, in this context.

Okay, so, we’re asleep too, I think?

Oh god, Toriel’s tires are slashed, that can not be good, in any way.

Okay, night time, Toriel and Susie are asleep…now what are you doing, Kris?

That, knife…

Okay, so, yep, they’re the Knight, and they just opened Darkness in their living room. This is, not, good. And, the tv’s on, and the door’s unlocked…

What the fuck is happening?

Ending credits song sounds, techno? Is this more of Don’t Forget? Or a remix? I hear the lyrics at least.

“To be continued in Chapter 3” OH IT BETTER BE, TOBY

So, yeah, that's Deltarune Chapter 2. In conclusion: this explains nothing, raises 120% more questions, and overall is still an incredible, wonderful game. I also like how each Chapter so far has been almost as long as a full play through of Undertale, and yet we're still somehow only 2 sevenths of the way through. Oh yeah, did I not mention? After completing it, it brought me to a chapter select with SEVEN DIFFERENT CHAPTERS, only two of which were available. So, you know. THAT'S FUN!

In actual conclusion, please play this game, it's free, it's amazing, and also buy the soundtrack on Bandcamp so Toby can make some kinda living.

#deltarune #deltarune spoilers #deltarune chapter 2 #deltarune chapter two #deltarune chapter two spoilers #deltarune liveblog #shut up sorio #I have so many more thoughts #just give them a while to coalesce into something coherent

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lightsandlostbells · 4 years

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wtFOCK season 3, episode 3 reaction

In this episode, Sander shows up 15 minutes late with croques (I know this joke has to have been made before, sorry)

Just adding again that if you are looking for an all-positive review of this show, this is not it. Please don’t read if you would prefer not to hear negative takes.

Episode 3

Clip 1 - Robbe on the beach

Robbe is sharing a bed with Noor. He’s doing some good physical acting because even just lying there, I can tell how stiff and uncomfortable he is. He wakes up and looks bummed. It’s pretty early and he’s on vacation so you know he really doesn’t want to be spooning with a girl if he’s getting out of bed right now.

Gotta say the detail of Aaron’s ass being half-exposed in his sleep is a detail that made me lol.

Robbe goes to the beach and listens to music. He types a text to his mom that he can’t make it to see her this week because he’s at the seaside, (because he’s supposedly doing a school project with Jen, lmao) but then he deletes it. So perhaps he is feeling guilt over not visiting, or he’s just got mixed feelings and wants to distance himself from his family situation right now.

Clip 2 - FINALLY

Robbe goes back to the house and sees a mysterious dude. It’s only been like 20 minutes since Robbe left the house, so this guy must have just arrived. Don’t know why they didn’t just combine these clips, especially since it would’ve been a nice contrast to get Robbe moody and alone vs. the jolt he receives with a cute boy’s arrival within one clip.

The important thing is that we finally meet the Even of this season, who I’ve been pretending I didn’t know is called Sander. I’m going to repeat what dozens of other people have said and say yes, this is Jack Frost from that one movie in live-action form.

Sander does a bit where he roasts Robbe about not having breakfast ready and he expected it when he made a reservation; Robbe acts half-amused, half-confused as fuck, as if part of him recognizes it as a windup but he also doesn’t know who this dude is, so maybe he could be for real?

Afterwards Sander is like, let’s go bitch, we’re grabbing breakfast, and he introduces himself. Robbe is still flabbergasted but he follows Sander out the door anyway, possibly compelled by Sander’s charisma, possibly just swayed by a hot guy. He has no idea how important this meeting is in the grand scheme of things. Robbe, your story is finally starting in episode 3!

OK, I like Sander’s intro! It’s in line with Even’s paper towel trick. Sander is getting Robbe’s attention with a dramatic introduction. He made sure to make a memorable first impression. It works not just for Robbe, but for me as a viewer as well. And I like that Robbe was caught off-guard like Isak was and they didn’t instantly fall into banter or anything, because let’s be real, if some strange dude showed up in your kitchen and started talking to you like this, you would be pretty WTF no matter how nice his face is.

I am not sure if this show will do the thing where Sander has been pining after Robbe for a while before this meeting - we have seen glimpses of Sander so it seems as if he’s seen Robbe before, but if he’s not from the same school as I think is the case, then I wonder how much he really could have developed feelings for Robbe? Even saw Isak the first day of school, so it’s easy to understand that he developed a crush in the time between that and S3 just by seeing Isak doing his thing at school regularly, and he had plenty of time to learn who Isak was. With Sander, it seems like he just saw Robbe randomly, and that makes sense for “hmm, a cute guy” but not really this giant crush on Robbe as a person.

This is why it would have been good to actually show what Robbe did or made in the graffiti scene, because it would make sense if Robbe drew something that would have intrigued Sander.

Anyway, the larger point is that this scene does make sense if you consider that Sander was waiting for Robbe and this was a planned intro. I assume there is some way that he found out Robbe would be here this weekend. If this is not something Sander expected, then it’s pretty impulsive of him. Though I can totally buy him winging the booking.com bit if that’s his personality. But it makes more sense to me at the moment to imagine that Sander knew Robbe was coming.

Clip 3 - Robbe and Sander at the store

Robbe and Sander are grocery shopping. Sander quickly establishes himself as having an outspoken, confident personality. I do like how instantly his vibe comes across, which is helpful since we’re making up for lost time.

Sander asking Robbe how many hot dogs one eats has some G-rated “Even immediately starts talking about blowjobs” energy. Or maybe it’s just a coincidence and they really are just talking about food, but like. It’s an Even.

Amber sends them the shopping list full of normal grocery items. Sander is like NOPE, not getting that. Well I hope no one has any dietary restrictions they need to follow, lmao.

Robbe asks Sander how he knows Amber, but Sander gets distracted by the song over the loudspeakers so he doesn’t have to disclose the truth yet. The song is by “Rebel Rebel” by David Bowie. He asks Robbe if he’s a fan and Robbe is like “yeah!” but Sander challenges him to name three of his songs and Robbe is a flop. Again, I do like how forcefully Sander comes across, his personality is evident.

I have to say: out of all the remake Evens, he’s the one who most immediately comes across as a magnetic personality. Granted, he seems to have a very similar vibe to Even whereas some remake Evens have rather different personalities from the original recipe. But Sander does come across as someone you’d meet (or Robbe would meet) and be a little smitten and swept off your feet right away.

David Bowie is also a good choice for an Even’s musical taste, especially because of Bowie’s sexuality. I guess you could say it’s pretty on the nose, but it still works for me. I don’t know a ton about the origins of Rebel Rebel but it references gender fluidity and sexuality, so it’s feels fitting for an LGBT-centered season.

As a diehard Ronan/Adam shipper (they’re my OTP of OTPs besides Evak) this scene of Sander pushing Robbe on the cart in the store is calculated to appeal to me. Pynch peeps, you know what I’m talking about. /finger guns

As a personal tangent, I also think grocery shopping is one of the best things you can do on a first date to know if you’re compatible with someone. I have been grocery shopping with people who were dull and no fun, and I have been grocery shopping where it’s an adventure in itself. I strongly believe that you can have fun with the right person in even the most mundane situations.

Back to Robbe/Sander: this part’s really cute! It gives us a sense of who Sander is and it shows them having fun together. They have a comfortable chemistry and I think Robbe’s vibe in this scene hits the right notes of being starstruck and a little over his head, but acclimating to Sander’s OTT personality and being able to relax and have a good time. He’s certainly having more fun than he expected when he woke up this morning.

The spinning and eventual slow-mo moment to Rebel Rebel! Great! Super effective at catching that feeling of holy shit, sudden butterflies in my stomach? I can’t look away from this person? I think I have a crush?

Sander scanning Robbe and saying it’s expensive = lmao, genuinely funny.

And I do like the idea of Sander pushing Robbe and it being chaotic and messy as a way to visualize/signify the arrival of him in Robbe’s life as a way to shake it upside down. (Although, lol, I kinda hate them for causing a mess for the retail workers.)

Sander crashes the cart and Robbe into some boxes. After checking to see if Robbe’s OK, Sander plays it cool and walks away whistling. I do love Robbe’s reaction, that we see him trailing Sander and sneaking happy glances at him. Good stuff.

Taken on its own, this is a terrific first meeting, and I can see how this scene would inspire optimism in the season picking up from here. However - and I hate to be a downer because this scene worked for me - it’s the same issue that I’ve said before: we shouldn’t have waited two full episodes for this clip. Though this scene was great and established an easy chemistry, it also wasn’t that personal and didn’t last too long, and now they have to go back and hang with everyone else, so how are they going to continue to bond on their own? They should just go find other errands to do, away from everyone else.

Clip 4 - Robbe and Sander in the kitchen

Noor is right there in the kitchen with them, but being hungover, is unable to be a third wheel in the way that Emma was to Isak and Even. Amber’s annoyed that they didn’t get anything on the shopping list, Sander shoos her out and says Robbe and he will cook.

Again, this not the same room for intimacy as Evak because they’re not alone! Anyone could walk in at any moment! People were just there! And I think you COULD do something interesting with that, how frustrating it is that everyone else is there, but it doesn’t work so well when it’s like … the first time they meet and they really need that space to get to know each other (considering, for the millionth time, that we are racing to catch up with only just meeting Sander). We really need to either play into the lack of intimacy and adjust the timeline of the relationship accordingly, or they need to manage some extra moments with the two of them to really establish the connection.

They make croques (weren’t bread and cheese on Amber’s list? So they did get something she asked for, heh) and there’s a fair amount of innuendo and suggestion, with the leaning down and leaning toward each other in the tight space. I do really like that and think it’s effective. They notice the chemistry, Sander touches Robbe’s back as he walks by.

More Bowie with Under Pressure. (This would be a really good song choice for Robbe’s POV to illustrate all the shit he’s dealing with.) Sander is very charming, he’s singing and having a good time, he lights up a joint. He opens up a bit about how making croques is a family tradition and asks Robbe if he has any traditions, and Robbe is still withdrawn and doesn’t go into it. Good moment! Robbe’s family is a touchy subject.

Sander licking the joint is quite an Erotique moment for Robbe. I also like that Robbe is clumsy with the croques, seemingly because he’s flustered by Sander’s Sanderness.

I like the Sander actor quite a bit so far. Like I said, he’s super intense and charismatic. He’s also super fucking forward with Robbe, feeding him some croque while they eye fuck, and I’m sorry but that feels way too pointed for this relationship so far The rest of the scene captures the unstated sexual tension but Sander sticking a sandwich in Robbe’s mouth while Robbe stares back is too obvious and feels like they’re trying to sell this really hard in order to make up for lost time, it took me out of the scene. Robbe is tentatively getting more comfortable with Sander, but I don’t buy that he would be that comfortable at this point. It would have been better if they’d stuck to, like, the subtle thrill of sharing a joint (where OMG Sander’s mouth has been?? Yowza).

Britt shows up and she’s Sander’s girlfriend! Oh nooooo!

Except Robbe and Sander met SEVERAL HOURS AGO so this doesn’t really have much of an impact? Isak pining over Even for a week and Googling him and stalking him creates a big buildup both in audience expectations and in Isak’s, whereas Robbe JUST met this dude. We’ve barely had time to form any expectations.

Imagine if you’ve never seen Skam and you’re watching this in real time. You’d be like “Awww, bummer, this guy has a girlfriend, I guess,” rather than “OH SHIT NOOOOOO” because you’ve been following them for a week and watching their conversations and their eye-fucking and getting to know Even through Isak’s eyes. Because you’ve had plenty of time to become attached to this character and because you’ve had time to sink into Isak’s POV and feel his crush on this guy. You feel the stakes of learning that Even has a girlfriend. Robbe learning that Sander is dating Britt is disappointing ... but how disappointing, really? There’s a low level of investment in Sander so far, for both Robbe and for us. I mean, sure, he’s charming, and we’re probably thinking he and Robbe might be cute together, but at most you would have had five hours to get attached at this point. If you look at it one way, this revelation is good because Robbe had only a brief window of time to get his hopes up before learning Sander has a girlfriend, as opposed to Isak who had a full week.

This is where the season’s odd storytelling choices start to fall down. Because there’s a lot about these last few clips that I enjoyed on a micro level. They work as individual scenes. It’s when you think about them on a macro level that the logic and emotional resonance doesn’t hold up. And I think that there are many, many story elements - in wtFOCK and most of the remakes - where a lot of writing only makes sense if you are coming with knowledge of the original show and sort of filling in the blanks here, rather than wtFOCK putting in the work itself.

I also think it’s something of a disappointment because S3 portrayed the experience of developing a crush so beautifully, the desperation to learn more about a person and get close to them, the obsessive focus. wtFOCK is by no means required to do that, but it was such a vulnerable, intimate way to get into Isak’s head that I can’t help but miss the extended crush period for Robbe. We really needed more of his POV.

Robbe decides to cope by getting high. Aha, there’s that Under Pressure for Robbe!

Actually, it seemed super weird to me that the timestamps had them meeting like 5 hours ago? Because it seemed like they went shopping and went home soon after where Amber inspected the groceries, but apparently there were hours between that, so what were they doing in the meantime? Not anything important, apparently, because we didn’t see it.

Clip 5 - Sad sad Robbe time

The others are playing trivia and Robbe is just social distancing like 10 feet away staring at them while listening to music on his headphones, lmao. Britt has quite the grip on Sander’s neck.

Noor comes over and Robbe asks her about Britt and Sander. Sander studied Visual Arts at I think a different school than Robbe. Imagine how effective this would be if Robbe did this LAST WEEK, like “casually” asked Noor about Sander or something. But of course that would have required the story to be moving forward last week.

Sander stares at Robbe and Noor as they make out. Get back in Robbe’s POV, for fuck’s sake! This isn’t even an impossible moment to have from his POV. Have Robbe and Noor make out, Robbe opens his eyes and spies Sander looking at him, he looks again and Sander has looked away. That creates an element of doubt that will live rent free in Robbe’s head.

This choice annoys me more and more. Where’s the tension in quite firmly suggesting that actually, Sander is into Robbe right after showing that Sander has a girlfriend? There was soooo much juicy tension squeezed from Isak and the audience not knowing what the fuck was up with Even and Sonja. People forget it now, but as someone who watched OG S3 in real time, there were plenty of viewers who thought Even was just stringing Isak along or doubted the sincerity of his feelings, because the show effectively kept us in Isak’s POV and for many viewers there was room to doubt Even’s intentions. Honestly, we didn’t really get real confirmation of Even’s feeling until episode 9. I just don’t see how it serves the story to a) take us out of our main character’s POV b) to make sure the mysterious love interest is somewhat less mysterious this early.

Clip 6 - Paintball

The squads play a friendly game of paintball, and by that I mean they try to annihilate each other. It’s a little hard for me to tell who’s shooting who since it’s fast and everyone has masks and is dressed in either black or camo, except Aaron in his onesie.

Sander and Robbe end up next to each other. They see Britt on the ground. Sander runs up and shoots Britt several times while she tells him to stop, clearly in pain. Britt yells at him to be normal sometimes and to use his head from time to time. Sander apologizes as Britt runs off.

Robbe and Sander exchange a look like “hmm” and Sander says he thinks they’ve won. He walks off. The music feels … weirdly triumphant?

This scene sits pretty weirdly. I don’t think this clip was pointless, I definitely think it has a point, but … what are they going for here. Thinking about it, I’d say the concept of this scene is good, but the execution feels off. wtFOCK has a real tone problem that becomes apparent later in the season.

I don’t think shooting Britt means Sander is manic, but I DO think part of the intent was to show he’s impulsive/gets carried away/can be OTT. Which is not bad (although there’s some sketchiness abut how this is tied to his mental illness if he’s not manic right now, and about how mentally ill people are dangerous) but it’s his reaction that gets me. Because it’s one thing if he gets carried away and we see him show remorse (which he does, briefly) but then he’s like cracking a joke with Robbe. It would be way more effective if we saw his remorse lingering. Not to mention yeah, he could have hurt Britt! It’s not that Sander has to be flawless, but this is one of our first impressions of him and it’s not great. It might work if you think it’s setting up Sander as something of a dangerous bad boy for Robbe (“you only like bad news” go the lyrics) but I’m not sure how much the show leans into that, especially because Robbe seems happy that they “won” rather than alarmed at what the fuck Sander just did.

But the part that baffles me most is how this matters to Robbe/Sander? Is this supposed to be a cute, flirty moment? A “haha, fuck my girlfriend, I like you instead” moment? Because wow, was it cruel on Sander’s part, and Robbe doesn’t seem that bothered by it. I get that maybe Sander IS supposed to be upset with himself but is brushing it off, but yeah, the offense is just too much for me, when physical harm comes into play.

IDK, I could get behind the ambiguity of reactions in a scene like this, but there’s something off about the seriousness of what Sander does - which is acknowledged in-clip by Britt’s and Zoë’s reactions - combined with how Robbe and Sander end the clip, as if we ignore those reactions to make it a fun shippy moment. It’s pretty unappealing. We don’t even really see or hear anything about Sander and Britt making up or talking it out, we don’t see any lingering tension between them due to this incident, it’s like this clip was forgotten. Presumably they made up off-screen before the next clip, but in that case, we should have seen Sander run after her to apologize? Where’s the emotional fallout? It doesn’t really stick for Sander, Britt, or Robbe.

Clip 7 - Bonfire

Robbe is upset with Sander and Britt making out. He goes over to Aaron who is also sitting sadly alone.

Aaron says he doesn’t know how Robbe does it, getting girls, and how he was so chill with Noor in the bathroom. IMO they could’ve ramped up Robbe’s fuckboyness since it didn’t come across that clearly to me, but this is one thing I do like about the potential of Isak and Magnus interaction … the Magnus looking to the Isak for girl advice, making the Isak have to preserve some sort of reputation as a ladies’ man, giving him some cred with his friends that he’s afraid to lose.

Robbe says it’s different because Noor goes to a different school so it wasn’t as bad if she rejected him. But wasn’t she handing out dance performance flyers in the hallway at Robbe’s school? That made me think she was a student there. But IDK how Belgian school works, maybe that’s normal.

Aaron goes over to talk to Amber and makes her a s’more, but Amber walks off because OMG so many calories. Aaron is bummed but Luca takes the s’more and eats it. Uhhh, the obvious buildup here is for Aaron/Luca, wtFOCK writers. She is literally taking and enjoying what Aaron is offering. I sense a connection.

I’m tickled by Aaron referencing American TV shows when he makes the s’more. His s’more is missing the best part, the cheap melted chocolate, which to be fair would probably have caused Amber to slap him over the calorie count.

This scene is at least from Robbe’s POV as he watches them, thank God.

Clip 8 - Haunted house

The boy squad (who are called the Brrrothers) set up a haunted house. That’s actually a pretty fun scenario. They lock the others in, because teenagers don’t care about fire hazards. But still seems like a great time.

Sander helps the others through the window, what a gentleman.

Aaron and Amber have the cliché “fall down into each other” moment so I suppose that’s the start of their romance. Now she holds his hand. Boo, no Luca/Aaron … at least Aaron/Amber is still better than Basile/Daphne so far.

They climb onto the roof to seek a treasure, which turns out to be alcohol. There’s a rooftop party, people drinking and smoking and having a good time. Robbe and Sander share a Look before Sander and Britt get cozy.

I mean, again … would’ve been better if they hadn’t spoken like. Twice.

Clip 9 - Aaron throws away his shot

Robbe is grumpy on the way back from the haunted house, which he calls Jens and Moyo’s ego trip. I think he’s mostly just sour about Sander and Britt, but also he could be annoyed that he wasn’t involved, although that mainly seems like it would be Robbe’s fault for distancing himself.

Aaron valiantly offers to check the house for murderous ghosts before they go back inside.

See, I KNEW Aaron was going to pull some shit with a practical joke when he went inside, I just didn’t expect him to pretend to get SHOT. The dedication… it’s in very poor taste, though.

Of course it’s a prank, but Amber acts very concerned. You know, this is actually a good way to show how Aaron is immature and keep the Amber/Aaron pairing apart … compared to Basile/Daphne where it was just nonstop sexual harassment, here we see Aaron being sweet and thoughtful with Amber and potentially making progress with her, and then ruining it by being an insensitive teenage dumbass. But he can still grow into more of a mature kid and prove himself to Amber that way.

Aaron seems regretful of it, but Moyo and Jens are like YOU DA MAN. I regret to announce that this boy squad kinda sucks so far. At least Aaron seems like he might have some character development, judging by his reaction here.

That was nicely done as a way to create conflict with the Aaron/Amber relationship, and establishing some mutual interest before showing where Aaron needs to grow as a person, even if I’m like ... we really got to stick to Robbe’s POV/story, man.

Clip 10 - Another prank

Moyo and Jens ask Robbe to go get them beers, and it’s a prank and Aaron’s in the freezer so I guess Aaron did not learn anything, never mind.

Echoing what I said above: I’m absolutely not expecting the boy squad to be perfectly well-behaved rational empathetic adults, and it’s not like this prank is some deeply cruel thing, but there is just. So much. Of the shouting, pranking, casual sexism, crude comments, and general obnoxious behavior. I’m really trying to keep in mind that Isak’s boy squad was also full of the horny gross talk about girls at the beginning, and that it was a necessary part of showing Isak’s alienation from his peers. Or that by now on OG S3 we had several awesome moments from Isak’s squad that we haven’t reached yet because the season’s paced a few episodes behind. Still. Ugh. Maybe it’s the shouting? I feel like this boy squad is ... shoutier ... than the other boy squads. Making them prankmasters is also not helping. I think you have to walk a careful line between making them realistically flawed straight dudes who alienate Isak with their talk of girls, and making them screaming caricatures who are all “fuck girls get pussy hot chicks sex sex sex.” There’s a lack of warmth and innocence to balance it out. We need some indication soon that these guys are going to be there for Robbe when shit goes down.

Robbe snaps at them and storms off, and Noor follows him. WOW, it would be good to see ROBBE’S POV of this scene!!!! What happened next!!!

Nope, the clip ends here!!!!

Clip 11 - Halloween

Everyone’s dressed up and preparing to go to a Halloween party. The girls are cute putting on makeup and chatting about necrophilia. There’s a comment where Luca says a guy sounded like “a begging Romanian” and errrrr, I did a bit of a double take at that. It’s not my culture or language so I don’t want to talk out of my ass, but I thought this was generally considered to be an offensive thing to say (although one that people frequently say anyway due to prejudice). What was the fandom reaction to that line?

People are dancing at the party. Apparently Jens and Jana are friends with benefits. Lol, at least Jana is not FWB with their P-Chris, that guy sucked.

Amber’s still mad at Aaron, understandably. Moyo cheers up Aaron on his recent romantic failure, which is nice and a much kinder moment than 99% of the material they’ve given Moyo thus far, and they go look for other girls.

I do love all the Halloween makeup. Look at Robbe’s hair!

Zoë checks her phone because I guess Senne drama is gonna happen.

Noor tags a wall with R+N in a heart, oh dear.

Robbe stares sadly at Sander and Britt dancing. Noor tries to get him to dance because the song is great, Robbe says he’s more of a Bowie fan and namedrops Changes. OK lmao, again, this doesn’t work so well that Robbe has suddenly become a Bowie expert when he’s been at the seaside the whole time. I know it’s silly when Isak starts acting like a Nas expert, but there was enough time for him to look up Nas between when Even mentioned him and when he talked to Emma about him to gain some basic knowledge of Nas. I guess Robbe could’ve been looking up Bowie in the last few days when he’s brooding alone, but lol, he’s also been kinda busy. Or Robbe is just bullshitting about Bowie, but the fact he was able to name a Bowie song when he couldn’t earlier in the episode suggests that he did look into Bowie.

Now there’s the Call Your Girlfriend moment where Robbe makes out with Noor while staring at Sander, then Sander stares back, eyefuck, blah blah.

I gotta say. I’ve seen various takes on Call Your Girlfriend scene by now. And what I notice - at least from my recollection - is that the remakes tend to focus more on the actual eyefucking. Because the OG scene doesn’t actually have Isak and Even staring at each other, going back and forth, for a while. Most of that scene is about Isak’s longing. Isak dances with Emma, looks at Even with Sonja. He kisses Emma, looks at Even kissing Sonja. It’s about Isak wanting Even but instead being with a girl. When Even looks back it’s not this long, extended thing! Because it’s not really about the eyefucking. It’s just confirmation, for both Isak and for us, that we are not imagining this chemistry between them. It’s a shot of hope that Even also wants Isak despite mixed signals. That even though Even is passionately kissing his girlfriend, he’s thinking about Isak. And then Isak closes his eyes - he doesn’t eyefuck Even through three verses and the bridge, he closes his eyes - and we don’t need to be told to realize he’s imagining he’s kissing Even instead.

First of all, the most effective part of the CYG scene is the timing. The song is perfectly timed and Isak’s reactions are perfectly edited to make us feel that frustration and longing that Isak does. It’s a way more vulnerable scene that most of the remakes seem to realize. Most of the scene is Isak looking without that look being reciprocated. And Even’s returned look comes just as we’re losing our minds (plus it matches the on-the-nose lyrics, lol). The endless eyefucking in the remakes isn’t that special or interesting in terms of delivery.

Second, here’s the thing: I think we forget, since we know that Evak are endgame, that at this stage during S3′s real-time run, it wasn’t certain that they were endgame. In fact, many people weren’t even sure Even liked Isak back! I was lucky enough to jump into Skam right before the first kiss, and there was so much doubt, it was crazy. Even and Isak shared an awesome afternoon together, but Even brought his girlfriend to this party, he’s still dating her. Isak is doubting whether this thing can go anywhere with them, if Even even is interested in him like that. And Even looking at him during CYG IS the confirmation that Even’s into him. It’s the confirmation for the audience that we didn’t imagine Even’s attraction to Isak. Whereas in wtFOCK, Sander is like openly staring at Robbe when Robbe isn’t watching, and the show breaks Robbe’s POV to make sure we know this. Sander is feeding him croques by hand while they lock eyes. He’s being much flirtier and the show is not hiding his interest. wtFOCK introduced Britt as an obstacle to this potential relationship, but does she really feel like one when Sander has been communicating his interest all along? Is there any doubt he likes Robbe? Not to mention Sander was just introduced this episode, and there simply isn’t the buildup, the time to weigh in and question his motives, the investment in whether he likes Robbe or not. So the tremendous release of tension in this scene is just not the same, because the tension isn’t there to begin with.

The OG Call Your Girlfriend clip is not about two guys who are hot for each other challenging each other to look away. The clip is about vulnerability and longing, and that vibe has been missing from sooooo many of the adaptations. Like anything in the remakes, change is not inherently bad. Change can provide for some interesting and thoughtful material. But I don’t think the remakes always realized when they’re making a change. On the surface a scene will be similar to OG, but the emotional buildup, the timing, the tension, the symbolism, etc. will be very different, and if you’re not aware of how even the littlest change can alter the meaning of a scene, then the scene can fall flat.

Clip 12 - End of trip

Everyone’s packing up to go home, Amber calls out the boys for sitting there and not cleaning (she’s right!)

Robbe helps Sander with the empty bottles. Sander asks about Robbe and Noor if they’re doing well. Robbe says yeah and then asks about Sander and Britt, Sander says it’s been “ups and downs” with mostly downs lately. Ups and downs could also refer to bipolarity, though I don’t know if I’d jump to Sander having “mostly downs” mentally just yet.

Sander says he seems to get on her nerves lately, and they’ve been together for half a year. Okay sooooo … they’re way less serious than Even and Sonja, and Sander has much less to lose by breaking up with her. I mean. Do they not see where, emotionally, this removes a lot of Even’s conflict in OG, and presumably much of Sander’s conflict in this version? It mattered that Sonja had been with Even for years. It mattered that he was used to her taking charge. It mattered that they’d sunk so much time into this relationship and survived such rough patches. Unless there was a really really drastic event in Sander’s life like right when he and Britt got together, that she was instrumental in helping him face, it seriously cannot compare to what Even and Sonja went through. He asks Robbe what he would do, stay or go.

He reaches around Robbe, getting sorta touchy feely, Robbe steps away.

Sander says maybe he (Sander) is scared he’ll never find someone, someone who’ll love him. Tension between him and Robbe as they consider each other. This insight is good to understand Sander, at least.

Robbe says he thinks Sander will find someone like that, Sander asks where, Robbe says he should meet new people, Sander says “on a weekend trip with strangers?” Robbe is like “...yes.” (Did you get to know each other? Did you really?)

They lean in for a kiss, but then Luca shows up to take out the trash so the moment is ruined, Sander walks off.

SIIIIIIGH this could have been a good scene if they like … developed this relationship or didn’t pace this story so weirdly. On top of the rushed Sander/Robbe development, the buildup to this scene on its own is odd. In OG, the kitchen almost-kiss happens right after the Call Your Girlfriend moment where they lock eyes, after Even stares at Isak across the room. There is palpable tension in the kitchen because they’re basically riding a high together. This is like the morning after their version of the CYG, which should have been an “aha! he likes me back!” moment for Robbe, but instead the momentum and sexual tension just kind of paused and consequently this scene almost feels random, like I felt the contrivances to put them in the same situation as Isak and Even here. (Think about it: Was there a reason this scene had to be the next morning instead of later that night? What happened after that eyefucking clip, did Robbe and Sander just go about their night like NBD?) The CYG clip and following kitchen scene felt like a clear example of cause and effect; the wtFOCK equivalents felt more like they were hitting arbitrary points in the OG rather than feeling fitting to its story.

I just realized we got like NO insight into Robbe’s sexuality crisis this episode, either, the way we did with Isak in episode 3. And maybe we’ll get some of it in the future, but I do think it weakens the story not to have any of that at this juncture. We’re three out of 10 episodes and we’ve barely scratched the surface of our protagonist’s main conflict this season, which is about his sexuality.

HOW I WOULD REWRITE THE EPISODE:

Introduce Sander sooner, for fuck’s sake.

Okay, that ship has sailed, moving on. Have the grocery scene go on longer, or rather, have them go somewhere after the supermarket, like they decide to take a detour to a park or something and go hang out and talk, to the point where Amber starts texting them like “Where the fuck is the food?” Show Robbe unwinding just a little, talking about his own interests, his own taste in music. It’s understandable that he might not open up about the deep’n’heavy stuff yet, but perhaps in either this scene or another one later this week, Sander asks him a family-related question and Robbe doesn’t answer with his whole sad backstory, but he gives a little, maybe has a fond memory of his mom, a tradition they had when he was younger. We see this little happy/sad moment and it’s like something about Sander compels him to open up and we get the complexity of his relationship with his mom, that it’s not all good or bad.

Instead of Sander shooting Britt excessively in the paintball scene, have him and Robbe team up and strategize for a while. We see they work well together, oho. They’re having a lot of fun. And maybe Sander DOES shoot Britt but it’s not this prolonged close-range thing, it’s just him being caught up in the moment as he and Robbe work together. He shoots her (again, it’s a little OTT and enough to make her upset but not quite as bad as in the filmed scene) and she runs off and we see him have an “oh” moment. Oh right, I got caught up being with this guy I like and forgot I have a girlfriend. He feels seriously remorseful and runs after Britt. And maybe when Sander shoots Britt, Robbe has a moment of “!!!”, maybe Sander likes him Like That after all! But then Sander runs after Britt and they kiss and make up because it’s just a paintball game, after all, and Robbe is like, oh, right. It’s just paintball.

This episode really convinces me how vital episode 2 is, even before Mekke øl, in establishing both Even as a character and the Isak/Even dynamic. We get why Isak likes him even before they speak again. It’s so beautiful and honest, with Isak checking out Even’s video, searching for him on social media, that desperation … and then how much R+J hits Isak in the feels. The equivalent would be if Robbe was listening to David Bowie on his earbuds and having a big moment. So er, why didn’t they just ... do that? Robbe is sitting alone listening to David Bowie and watching Sander and Britt be cuddly, and there’s this feeling of longing and being close to Sander via the music while at the same time being so far away. It might be too obvious and faithful to OG, but it would also, you know. Probably be effective. It is also set-up for Robbe talking about how he’s a Bowie fan to Noor.

Have Sander talk to Robbe after Robbe flips out on his friends after the prank! Maybe Sander calms him down by doing a weird Sander thing! Maybe Robbe confides a bit about his shitty home situation or his crappy friends so he and Sander connect on a deeper level! But the prank clip ended immediately after Robbe stormed off, and for some reason the show was like nah, it’s not important after that, even though it was a prime opportunity for good, insightful content into Robbe’s head, or a way to let Robbe and Sander bond some more.

If they cannot talk directly, how about some indirect moments where they connect, other than paintball? We get some stares at each other but those could be structured to show off more of a connection. Their eyes meet when something funny happens. Robbe or Sander are Jim Halperting at each other when Aaron or Amber says something ridiculous, like can you believe this shit? Everyone’s sitting around listening to music and Sander goes and puts on a Bowie song and Robbe smiles to himself.

(Not that they needed to do movie references in this version, but they should have totally gone with Labyrinth references for Robbe/Sander, just saying. I’m not even sure how it would work thematically, I just think it’d be delightful.)

(OR VELVET GOLDMINE, aka “Todd Haynes wrote and filmed David Bowie/Iggy Pop fanfiction where Ewan McGregor and Christian Bale fuck on a rooftop.” God I love that movie.)

In the haunted house, have Robbe and Sander like ...touch, accidentally, or grab each other out of fear, or do one of those cliché “we find ourselves close together, breathing hard and staring at each other” moments. I don’t care! Just give us stuff to work with! Like there even IS a split second moment where Robbe is climbing out of the window and Sander offers him a hand, it’s just not played for any drama or tension or emotional reaction - I mean, wtFOCK are you doing, wtFOCK writers?

There is a glaring flaw with this episode, in that there were SO many opportunities to actually have Robbe and Sander interact throughout the episode, and yet overall the potential was totally wasted.

Consider that Isak and Even went to the same school, but they were in different years and didn’t share any classes. So when, for example, Isak hangs out with Even in Mekke øl, I can easily buy that Isak doesn’t see him again until Even returns the snapback. Or that he doesn’t see Even after the snapback scene until the neon party. Therefore, I feel like I’m seeing all the essential moments of Isak’s interaction with Even, I am getting the “full story” with Evak and sufficient evidence to try to piece together what Even’s deal is.

Robbe and Sander were living under the same roof for days. This is a drastic departure from the original. Realistically speaking, there would have been so, so many more opportunities for interaction, or moments where we could’ve gained insight into that developing attraction. Sander and Britt would’ve been sleeping in the same bed at times, right? How did Robbe react to that? Could we have seen his jealousy? Was there ever a time when Robbe was coming out of the bathroom and he bumped into Sander and it was awkward? Or when someone else left a room and Robbe found himself alone with Sander, and he didn’t know what to say? Did Robbe try to avoid Sander the entire time? Did he try to talk to him but Noor or Britt walked in? Did Sander try to talk to Robbe? Was there any interaction between them besides what we were shown on screen? Did Robbe get up and sit on the beach listening to music and Sander joined him and they shared headphones? Did Robbe go outside one night just to get away from Noor in his bed and Sander was also sitting on the porch and they shared a joint and talked about stuff? Eh? Ehhh???

The problem is that I don’t believe that we were shown the ��full story” of Robbe and Sander this week. I can’t believe that because, logically speaking, there would have been way, way more interactions between them even if they were actively trying to avoid each other. For whatever reason, wtFOCK decided to have Robbe and Sander meet at the seaside and spend a week in the same house. Okay. But despite the opportunities that scenario provided to really catch up and develop the hell out of the Robbe/Sander relationship after a delayed start, the show just didn’t do that. And I do feel cheated, not just because it’s rushed and lazy, but because it doesn’t even make sense. Obviously wtFOCK cannot film every minute they were around each other, but it sure as hell could’ve given us more substantial content than it did.

Even if you want to emphasize how they can’t really be alone with each other because they’re with almost 10 other people including their girlfriends ... fucking run with that, man. Milk it for all it’s worth. Make us feel how frustrating it is that they’re not alone, that Robbe is paranoid about getting too close to Sander in case everyone can tell he’s got a crush. Or show them in a scene with other characters, but they’re interacting in an indirect way that makes it seem like they’re the only two people in the room. Their first clip and the almost kiss at the end of the episode is the only time when I really felt that tension at all, and I use “tension” loosely in the case of the almost kiss.

We also have little information this season on Robbe’s specific sexuality crisis, and that’s also hurting the narrative. I’m aware that the next episode dives into some of the clips that OG Skam got to in its episode 3, so I don’t want to harp on it too much now ... but I do have some basic questions, such as: where is Robbe at with his sexuality right now?

We have gotten very little introspection on him thinking about being gay, or what it means to be gay. We did not have the big crush fixation on Sander that Isak got on Even: Googling him, looking him up on social media, trying to find out everything about him. We did not have Robbe taking gay tests online. Yet he goes from meeting Sander to trying to kiss him within days.

And I think the lack of sexuality crisis further diminishes the already weak tension of the episode. If Robbe was more strongly dealing with his sexuality, then I would be able to accept him falling for Sander so fast and so hard a bit more easily, to the point of almost kissing him, even if their emotional connection wasn’t really established. But he hasn’t been given the space to do that. He hasn’t been given the space to even think about being gay or what that means. So he’s supposedly going from internalized homophobia to almost kissing Sander, with none of the introspection shown on screen. Why? What is running through his head?

So obviously, in rewriting the episode, let’s set up some actual sexuality conflict with Robbe. Maybe he’s trying to look up gay stuff online while he’s locked himself in the bathroom or when everyone else is asleep at night, or he’s trying but unfortunately he’s paranoid people are looking over his shoulder, or the boy squad grabs his phone as a prank and he’s terrified they’ll see that he was searching “how to know if you’re gay.” Maybe other people start talking about a sexuality-related topic, a gay celebrity, something like that, and Robbe’s reaction matters - like he makes an ignorant comment and someone schools him, or he makes a downright offensive comment and someone chews him out. Someone makes a gay joke and we see how it makes Robbe squirm. Someone makes a gay joke and then gets called out on it and we see how it makes the wheels turn in Robbe’s head. Have Amber or Noor or whoever make a boneheaded comment about gay people and Sander schools them so we see Robbe get a HMMM moment. HMMM, does Sander like dudes? HMMM, maybe I should reconsider my opinions on gay people? I don’t know, man! Literally! Anything!

Maybe have his advice to Aaron be more obviously bad? More fuckboyish? We see him overcompensating for his sudden Sander feelings by doling out some uber-heterosexual manly man advice to Aaron about how to impress a girl. Aaron is like, are you sure that’s a good idea? Robbe is like, pffft, obviously, what, are you gay? Are you too gay to make a move on Amber? Show her what’s what. This leads Aaron to do something very stupid and insulting and sexist with Amber, which leads to Amber getting mad at Aaron and Aaron getting mad at Robbe for Robbe’s dumbass advice. Maybe Jens and Moyo jump in because God knows we need some good moments from them, and they’re like, seriously, Robbe? Why did you think that was a good idea? Robbe gets mad and storms off.

To some degree I’m like … well, what IS Robbe’s problem with Sander dating Britt, really? He met this hot and cool guy, but a few hours later learned the hot guy had a girlfriend. It sucks, but what is pulling him in so hard and so fast other than Sander being so hot? It’s a disappointment, but is it this truly devastating thing? He doesn’t know much about Sander, they’ve had so much less of a connection than Isak and Even. They had one fun morning, basically. It’s true that crushes aren’t rational and that a teenager can fall for someone based on crumbs and hotness, I fully realize you can’t turn off your romantic feelings like a faucet. But the show didn’t put in the work of making me believe in the strength of those romantic feelings in the first place. The fact that it is realistic for teenagers to have shallow crushes does not mean that I have to accept weak writing to fill in the blanks for this romantic connection that is supposed to be a powerful love story. Actually, let me bold that and rewrite it as a general rule: The fact that something can be realistic does not mean we have to fill in the blanks in order to make up for weak, lazy writing.

I know that Isak and Even didn’t have a TON of interaction before episode 3, but they definitely had more, and Isak had time to research Even and develop a crush him based on what he found: he learned a bit about Even’s hobbies and interests, he was touched by a piece of art that Even loved. They bonded, they BOTH opened up - we saw Isak melt a little and banter whereas Robbe hasn’t really loosened up with Sander, except running around the grocery store (oh, and letting him stick a croque in his mouth, I guess). In the kitchen scene after getting groceries, for example, Robbe basically says nothing noteworthy, nothing to give either us or Sander a better understanding of him, or an appreciation of his sense of humor. There’s no real banter. If you watch the Robbe/Sander scenes, it seems like Sander dominates them, and that’s great for learning about Sander as a character, not so much for feeling like they’re mutually connecting. And if they want to portray Robbe as shy or awkward around Sander, I get it. But I don’t get where the emotional connection comes in, and frankly I don’t feel like I know much about Robbe as a person.

So here’s my suggestion: Don’t do the almost kiss.

I know, I know, it’s a Skam S3 staple. But wtFOCK has really not earned this moment. We’re not in dire need of confirmation that Sander likes Robbe because wtFOCK is making it obvious. The tension is not developed enough to merit an almost kiss, Robbe’s sexuality journey is not far along to make it super believable. If they’re kissing next week for real, just let that happen without the episode 3 interrupted kiss.

If you do want an almost kiss, maybe one or both of them is a little drunk? Or a lot drunk. Like, noticeably tipsy. Their inhibitions are lowered. I could buy that, especially if Robbe has a morning after freakout. oh god i was drunk and about to throw myself at sander!!!!! OR hahaha we were pretty drunk so it didn’t mean anything ... unless...? So long as there’s some effect on Robbe.

Because it’s a Skam remake, we probably do need a big end-of-episode clip, though. A turning point. Personally, I would be fine with just some smoldering unresolved sexual tension that doesn’t go as far as an attempted kiss. (I mentioned above that I am a diehard shipper of Ronan/Adam from The Raven Cycle and let me tell you, you do not need an almost kiss to get across the sexual tension. Once upon a time I wrote a draft of a post charting their relationship development through all their intense stares.) Perhaps Sander and Britt start fighting, Sander walks off, Robbe finds him or maybe he finds Robbe and they’re like, sitting together on the beach, and they have this personal and possibly subtext-laden conversation, or maybe this is when Robbe finally opens up about something personal (like he mentions when his parents used to fight, IDK). They don’t touch. Or maybe their knees brush. They stay perfectly still and don’t lean in. But they look at each other and don’t look away until someone calls for them or comes to collect them, and that’s how the moment is ruined and the spell is broken. That would be enough for me.

Maybe we could end on a non-dramatic note and Robbe and Sander end up sharing earbuds and listening to a David Bowie song. Or a song by someone that Robbe likes and wants to share with Sander, IDK. We leave them staring at the beach and trading surreptitious glances and catching feelings. A real butterflies in the stomach scene.

This also would have been a great episode to hint at Sander’s mental illness. You could show Britt hovering and telling him not to drink or smoke, you could have Robbe walking in as Sander is taking his medication (but obviously he doesn’t know what type of meds they are yet). You could have the suggested ending fight between Britt and Sander contain veiled references to his mental illness because Britt thinks that Sander was skipping his meds or he was doing something that she thought was a red flag. Robbe overhears them arguing but again, he doesn’t realize the real context.

I felt like Noor was kind of in the background for this episode, and look, I thought she was overused in the first two episodes, but in this one, her presence would have been more useful for Robbe’s storyline, such as having her interrupt a Robbe/Sander moment, or showing us that she’s growing frustrated with Robbe’s lack of attention to her.

Stay in Robbe’s POV, I beg you. Do this one simple thing. It’s OK to give random scenes outside his POV from time to time (like the girls doing their Halloween makeup) but anything relevant to his arc should be from his eyes only, and anything not relevant to his arc needs to be managed carefully so it doesn’t suck up too much screen time from his story.

I’ve been looking at the social media that was posted for this season, but I don’t really have a ton to say about it. wtFOCK seems pretty active with the characters’ Instagram accounts, so I commend them for that. So far the text messages don’t seem to be adding a ton to Robbe’s story - I specify Robbe’s story because a lot of them are not even texts that involve him, lmao. Like there’s a text between Zoë and Senne that effectively sets up trouble in that relationship, and it’s way more enlightening than texts that actually involve Robbe.

I think there’s legit potential with this cast. I like all the girls, I think Sander’s actor has some good onscreen presence… even though I don’t care for how the boys are written, I think they have potential. It’s just frustrating when you see the potential being squandered even more than if there were little potential to start.

Just to add, like I said above, this isn’t my culture or language, and I know that I’m missing context. Let me know if there’s anything I didn’t get on account of not being a teenager in Belgium.

#wtfock reactions

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disquietiswhatitis · 4 years

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character meme: sam arias!

sam arias

Aw yeah. I love getting to gush about my love.

How I feel about this character.

Listen...I love Sam Arias. I LOVE her. A whole freaking lot. She just checks so many boxes. Beautiful/sexy/legs for days/looks good in suits/congrats on the hair/face/neck? Intelligent? Successful? Is a good mom and loves her daughter more than anything? Dorky pancake o clock side? Good bean? Great dynamics with Lena, Alex and Kara? “I’m like Supergirl” reaction to finding out she has powers? No comp het hell? Best redemption arc on this show/in the Arrowverse? Need I say more?

She also strikes this balance for me of having so much in canon to adore about her but also enough room to fill in the blanks and be versatile with her in fanon that it doesn’t feel entirely ooc...which is awesome for an aspiring storyteller.

All the people I ship with this character

Oh god this is such a call out to my multishipping ways. First of all, Alex Danvers is her wife. She & Lena fuuuuuuucked in Metropolis. I am currently obsessed with idea of her angry hate-sex dynamic with Andrea (that may or may not feature them cursing at each other in Spanish, both when Lena wants them to play nice but they don’t want to so they switch to sniping in Spanish because Lena was forced to take Latin but ESPECIALLY in the bedroom) and it’s all @stennnn06’s fault (thank you Sten 😉.)

I headcanon that Sam knew she was a lesbian in her early teens. Her sleeping with a guy and conceiving Ruby was more about her being in denial about her feelings for her best friend at the time/desperately trying to conform to heteronormativity (because peer pressure) while at the same time rebelling against her mother. I mention this because I created an OC that was Sam’s best friend whom she loved in high school. She finds out post Ruby’s birth that her friend liked her back and they at least kiss one time (maybe they hook up, maybe not) because they’re both really young, going in different directions and weren’t ready for the long haul (or u-haul, as the case may be.)

Its also amusing to think of Sam having a fling with Lucy in the land of forgotten characters after season 3. I like the idea of her and Kelly too. They’re both beautiful, I think they’d get along and I like tall/smol dynamics. Sam/Alex/Kelly and Sam/Alex/Lena are OT3s and Sam/Lena/Andrea is just delicious. Wasn’t a fan of Sam/Kara until I read that one fic where Kara works at the juice bar at Sam’s new gym.

And last but certainly not least (as if they even were a least with Handsome Sam), if I’m not the founder of the S.S. Wonderreign, I’m definitely one of its first and largest supporters. Swords and beautiful women, amirite? But also the idea of Sam recovering on Themyscira post-Reign and Diana believing in San and helping her heal in more ways than one is something I’ve wanted for over two years now.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Jack Spheer. You know they knew each other in Metropolis through Lena and even if there may have been some competition for her affections a long time ago, they’d strike up a bond all their own. Also Kara in non-juice bar AU settings...they were both adopted! and super! And they never talked about it! Gah!

My unpopular opinion about this character

Message me if you want to know who Ruby’s father is in my crack AU. Also, I like Rojascorp and it think it is more popular at the moment but I personally still prefer Reigncorp (I know, I know...why not both and you’re right but still...I’m hard pressed for an unpopular opinion on Sam. Most of her fans are on the same page about her.)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Her marrying Alex. Or confirmation of past Reigncorp. In either event she kept her freaking powers and Lena made her a better version of the big lesbian Reign sword that she uses when she’s Superwoman, but she’s only Superwoman reluctantly. She doesn’t do it every night like Kara because she has Ruby but she will help when she’s needed.

GIVE ME A CHARACTER and I’ll break their ass down!

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dotthings · 5 years

Text

SPN 14.20 HOLY F*CKING I AM BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS HERE THAT WAS A GOOD. And a great set-up for S15.

*SNAPS FINGERS*

Let me try for some coherency. I scribbled watching notes.

Cas. :( Well I am not a bit surprise he’s not own with this. I don’t see how else he’s supposed to feel. Or how else Dean would feel. Or how Sam would feel. Sorry if TFW is so inexplicable to some people but they’re all making perfect sense to me. It’s sad but they make sense.

That Dean and Cas argument with Sam in the middle like :0 :| poor Sam, poor poor Sam, imagine having to watch all this intense Dean and Cas, he hates it when they bicker, and this is a real argument.

“I know how much he meant to you. He meant a lot to me. But that isn’t Jack any more.” So there it is, the truth beneath Dean’s walls he put up. None of this is because Dean is cold or uncaring. He is, however, still very angry and still (thinks) that he has to kill Jack. The place Dean lands with Jack in this ep also doesn’t surprise me because I been knew and that makes sense too but it also makes sense that right up the line, he’d think he has to kill Jack and follow that anger. This is an extraordinary situation in fact. Even though TFW have been faced with not-versions of themselves before, they’ve never killed another family member while in that state. And I think Jack’s escalating danger levels in this ep pretty much vindicates why someone might think he has to be killed...even though Jack isn’t evil or malicious still (more on that in a moment).

“Nerds.” “Takes one to know one.”

I was just talking about this about Dean. About his facades and how he used to mock nerds and geeks--still does even now--but is actually the biggest geek and I love that Sam calls him on his nerd qualities. His nerd traits. WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING.

So nobody at all can lie any more and the world, as a result, starts tearing apart at the seams. Look SPN, when I said I wanted more emotional honesty...lololol that’s not what I meant. Some lies are necessary.

Oh my god it’s God. Hi, Chuck. (I was spoiled for this, it was still really fun when Chuck just popped up in the alley).

“Jack. He’s a problem.” NO REALLY I HADN’T NOTICED YOU DON’T SAY

Cas was going to see about the cage in Hell. Was he thinking he could put Jack in it?? Was that his alternative to just killing him?

Jack visiting his grandmother and she calling Jack out on the fact that he lied to them. Oh snap, Jack. You’re sick of all the lies but you told one (for a kindness). Some lies are necessary. You lied to people too.

This episode has some realness here about what holds society together and different types of honesty. Lying is wrong...except 100% blunt honestly all the time would be a complete disaster and there are some lies we need to tell for the sake of kindness, for community, for forgiveness, or it all will fall apart. Which lies are too far and which are necessary. Can a lie hurt but also be for a kindness and be necessary? SPN has had its main characters lie for years. They lie with credit card scams so they can pay for gas and food and lodging. They lie about who they’re secretly working with behind each other’s backs. All of Team Free Will has lied to each other. Kept things from each other. It doesn’t go well for them. Yet here’s an ep showing that some types of lies are necessary as part of the fabric of society.

Dean is sooooo done with God’s bullshit I am laughing. This is also really subversive because yes we love Chuck and his guitar. Chuck singing Fare-thee-Well. Chuck as a likeable (if irresponsible deadbeat dad) figure on SPN. But how benevolent is he actually? And they don’t have time for a song right now, they just don’t.

Team Free Will are still speaking to each other after Cas stormed out. That’s a good sign!

“I built the sandbox. You play in it...but when things get really bad that’s when I step in.”

Uh...kinda. Sometimes, Chuck. Yes he’s intervened a few times. He put Sam and Dean on the airplane. He put Cas back together more than once. He stepped up when he needed do about Amara at the end of S11. So maybe a C+ on actually being there in a pinch.

“Jack is apocalyptic.” Which--self-evident right there in the ep, thanks, Chuck. Oh and can we stop pretending Jack isn’t incredibly dangerous at least? Oh he’s not just dangerous he is world-endingly dangerous. Note I rooted for Jack to be okay, and want him to be saved, but the situation is what it is right now.

It made a lot of sense to spec based on the ep title Chuck was going to show up to intervene and stop TFW from having to kill Jack, and I’m sure with a reference that blatant in that title, Dabb knew that would be the assumption. It made sense. The overturning of that is interesting here. Chuck didn’t show up and didn’t show up and when he finally does it’s to hand them the weapon to destroy Jack. Which at this point in the ep I’m still wondering--but it could be a test. Let’s see what happens.

Oh. Whoever shoots the gun, what happens to the target, happens to them. Aaaand we’re back to Dean with a self-sacrificing plan.

Damn Cas is so damn salty still about the Dean-in-the-box plan I love it. He hates that plan. Now he’s extra special plus cranky because he’s looking now at losing Jack and losing Dean simultaneously. I’ve talked a lot in my posts about Cas’s big love for both Jack and Dean. This is diabolical. Cas could lose them both with one gunshot. Of course he doesn’t want his son to die...but he doesn’t want Dean to die. Save Jack...means saving Dean too.

I really loved this Sam and Dean scene and while Cas doesn’t get to verbalize what’s going on in his head, Sam certainly gets to vocalize what Sam’s thinking. “I’m the one who brought him back. He burned his soul off to save you and me. You want me to say I’m okay with losing you and losing him all at once. I can’t do that. I’ve already lost too much.” MIC DROP SAM WINCHESTER.

“I don’t feel anything.” There’s the crux of the Jack Problem. He intellectually understands what’s “good” and what’s “bad” but he doesn’t, in his own words, feel it. He’s the most powerful being on the planet and he’s completely hollow inside, lacking true empathy, lacking instincts, strong attachments, an innate sense of right and wrong. That’s...really terrifying. It’s really not at all hateful to Jack to comprehend how scary that combination is. “I want to love you back, it’s just I can’t.”

This is. Damn. We saw AU Cas in ep 300, what happens when Cas never learned to access his emotions. As an angel, our Cas was taught that emotions were bad, they were a weakness. He was taught not to heed them. To control them. To never be led by his heart or his feelings. But instead of heeding that, Cas led with his whole heart, he often drowned in his own emotions, overwhelmed by them. He has intense attachments and pain and loneliness and fear and even moments of peace and joy. He feels it all. He’s the most feeling angel to ever feel, and how painfully on point is it that his son is now...emotionless.

“You’re my favorite show.” Wow it got super meta in here, Chuck.

“Why does it always have to be on us,” wonders the tormented characters. “Because you’re my guys!” gushes the enthusiastic Winchester fan, God.

I feel so called out right now. I do. While I am certainly in the camp that feels that too much torture porn angst without hope is a weaker story, like many fans, there is a certain catharsis and satisfaction in watching our favorite characters suffer and triumph and keep on going and not let the suffering defeat them.

In this ep Dabb is taking that idea and expanding it out to a walking talking metaphor, embodied in Chuck, who turns out to be a toxic wielder of suffering for his own amusement. Tying to Jack’s lack of emotions, Chuck seems okay with others suffering. It’s not that he lacks feelings, because he gets something from watching these “characters” suffer, but he’s lacking in empathy because he doesn’t seem to care that they’re suffering and in the world of SPN these are not characters, these are real people he’s jerking around making them dance to his angst-buttons for his own enjoyment.

Cas still is clinging on to hope that Jack can be fixed and my heart hurts for him. At this point, I’m still hoping Jack can be...but it’s not looking good.

Jack kneeling in front of Dean to be killed. Because while he’s dangerous, no he’s not evil or malicious. “I understand. You were right all along. I am a monster.” This is just...really sad. I’m sad.

Oh, SPN, you tried so hard, but I never thought Dean would be able to pull that trigger. Also the tragedy of Dean--he didn’t hesitate because Dean had a sudden revelation he wants to live so he’s not going to seppuku the problem after all. No, it’s because he just couldn’t do it to Jack in the end, to his son, who had earned his love and his trust after a rough start. Dean understands that this Jack isn’t the Jack he recently knew and Dean also understands how far gone Jack is and how dangerous. Yet he still can’t do it. This makes perfect sense to me. I could also see how he might have pulled that trigger (and that would have been horrible and it would have hurt Dean so much...and I don’t just mean because of the magic ricochet of that gun...it would be too much. And...it looks like this ep agrees with me on a textual and meta-textual level. Uh-huh.)

"This isn’t how this story is supposed to end.” Chuck, our author, isn’t enjoying the fact that his characters are doing things he didn’t plan on and didn’t intend (which happens during the creative process).

“Pull the trigger and I’ll bring her back,” Chuck offers. “No.” says Dean. “My mom is my hero and I will miss her every day of my life but she wouldn’t want this.”

And then Sam goes OFF. “over and over and over again...losing people we love.”

“This isn’t just a story. This is our lives.”

I am LOVING THIS. I actually clapped my hands with meta-ish glee.

THE CHARACTERS ARE REBELLING AGAINST SPN’S OWN RELIANCE ON MISERY PORN AND I AM LIVING.

This is so self-critical. On a story/character level, this is amazing for Sam and Dean, who are defying fate, refusing yet again to be jerked around by a cosmic puppetmaster. Sam goes as far as defying the idea that they don’t deserve to be happy. Not in so many words. But he is flipping off the concept that all they are good for is suffering AND I AM SO PROUD and I think Dean gets it too but oh my poor Dean was just willing to commit seppuku and while Dean is rejecting being puppetted around, not for anyone, not even to save Mary, I don’t know if he’s at the place where he sees it how Sam does--that screw you, I don’t deserve to suffer like this open defiance.

So Sam shoots God. lololol for a hot second there I thought Sam was going to kill God and welp that would have been a plot twist but no, just a flesh wound so Sam is wounded too.

Chuck’s not thrilled his favorite human pets aren’t playing along for his amusement.

“Story’s over. Welcome to the end.”

LIGHTS OUT.

Well. God was the big bad all along. GOD WAS THE BIGGEST BAD OF SPN ALL ALONG.

I was hoping Jack wouldn’t have to die. At least none of his dads had to kill him and the set-up with Jack landing in The Empty seems like he’s not gone forever. WHAT DID BILLIE MEAN “WE HAVE TO TALK.” About what. What is going on.

WHAT IS HAPPENING

IS THAT LA LLARONA

THAT’S BLOODY FREAKIN’ MARY

HOLY CRAP THE SOULS OF THEIR EARLIEST CASES ARE RISING FROM HELL

ALL THE SOULS ARE RISING FROM HELL

WE ALL SPECCED HEAVEN WOULD BREAK AND THE SOULS IN HEAVEN WOULD GET LOSE AND INSTEAD IT WAS ALL THE SOULS FROM HELL THIS IS AWESOME

SAM AND DEAN AND CAS!! TEAM FREE WILL ARE BACK TO BACK TOGETHER IN THE DARKNESS SURROUNDED BY ZOMBIES I WISHED FOR A MOMENT LIKE THIS FOR YEARS. TEAM FREE F*CKING WILL. ALSO A FINALE THAT HAD ALL THREE OF THEM UNITED. THANK DABB.

#Sam Winchester #Dean Winchester #Castiel #Jack Kline #Chuck Shurley #spn #supernatural #spoilers #meta #Team Free Will

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boogiewrites · 5 years

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Uptown Girl

Young Alfie Solomons One Shot

Word Count: 18,100+

Summary: My imagining of a young Alfie Solomons, finding his way in the East End as a boxer. He meets a West End girl, Lucy, who represents everything he's not, everything he wishes he could be. A young love blooms, feeling lost in their own world together where it doesn't matter what's expected of her or what religion he is. But soon, they're both faced with the hard truth of the world they live in as they're faced with the wrath of Lucy's mother and the effects of WW1. It's stated in the story, but neither are underage. Alfie would canonically be around 22-23 at the time and Lucy is nearly 20.

Warnings/Tags: FLUFF. ANGST. Explicit Sexual Content: Loss of Viriginity. Boxing/Fighting. Language. Period-typical sexism. Antisemitism. Young love. Romance. Lovers Reunited. Happy ending.

My One Shot for Valentine’s Day and for hitting another follower milestone!

Click on my icon then go to my Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works. (Had to do this since Tumblr killed links, sorry.)

Lucy sat in the midst of a dirty, dusty, testosterone filled room full of shouting and drunk men from the east side of London. She sat with her hands clasped in her lap with wide blinking eyes trying to look like she wasn't scared of this new sort of people she found herself surrounded with. Her best friend from childhood, Marnie was next to her, shouting and cheering on her boyfriend who was currently in the ring in front of them in a boxing match. Lucy had never seen such a thing before. Men hitting each other until they were blue and bleeding for money? It was such a shocking truth to see it that she found herself studying the shiny new shoes she'd worn under a pastel dress that would most certainly need to be scrubbed after she got home.

Marnie had always been the adventurous one. A real opposite to Lucy's cautious and sheltered life. Lucy often wondered why they were friends at all, except for having grown up next to each other, they were quite different. But Marnie's father had earned his wealth off the labor of his own back, not being born into it like Lucy's parents. The linger bit of East End wisdom she'd received from him as she grew up was apparent with the way she blended in. The differences didn't seem so strikingly obvious until they'd ventured into womanhood together. Marnie was a mess of anger and hormones, staying out late, smoking and playing cards and flirting with every boy that looked her way. Lucy had, up to this point, been well behaved and meek. Taught by her father to be a prim and proper lady and a well-to-do gentleman would come and ask for her hand and all she would have to worry about were babies and keeping a home. But with the recent passing of her father, causing her to question everything about her own wants and desires with being left to own devices. Her mother now too busy trying to tie up loose ends from his sudden passing. Lucy found herself full of compulsive emotions and behaviors that were so unlike her that she wasn't sure what to make of it.

With her mother working and taking care of her siblings, she found herself wanting to escape. She was angry at her father for dying and leaving them. Angry at her mother for not stopping it somehow. For giving attention to the little ones exclusively and forgetting her as she was the oldest. Filled by the usual teenage urges, she found herself having more and more in common with Marnie. Marnie was her guide to the other side. Her window into how the other half lived. And currently, she was showing her that a woman could in fact scream and spit and hit just like a boy.

"Come on now, Lucy, get up! You have to scream for him or he won't win!" she shouts close to her face, jerking her up as she went back to her shouting for her East End boyfriend Jack. "Loosen your damned knickers girl, you're being such a posh little cunt right now." she laughs and shoves Lucy's arm.

"Marnie!" she gasps at first, but soon a giggle follows the blush in her cheeks for hearing such language.

"Stop making me look bad and if you don't look so bloody out of place maybe we can find a boy to put up with you!" she laughs.

"Okay." she mumbles, taking a deep breath, then proceeding to cough on the smoke in the air. She uses her rage, that kind that lies within every teenager, ready to burst at the most inconvenient of times. She thinks about how she wanted to rebel, to break free of how she'd been living, to be more like Marnie, so boastful and full of vigor. She wanted to be wild and free, a new person entirely.

She begins clapping, watching the fight and trying to piece together the bits she'd been informed of by her friend as she lets her muscles loosen, trying to take in the energy of her surroundings. A little "Woo!" escapes her as she giggles at herself as the two boys go to their corners of the ring. Marnie's Jack had his back facing them, but that didn't stop Marnie from screaming. The other boy who was facing them, a dark gingery lad with a strong nose and lean arms, a tattoo on his arm, sits and pants, being spoken to by the older men surrounding him. Instead of watching Jack she found her eyes on the other boy.

"Who is the other boy fighting Jack?" she asks, leaning close to Marnie and watching the sweat drip off of the mystery lad, making her feel some sort of way she wasn't sure about.

"That's Alfie. They're mates."

"But yet they fight?" she asks with high pitched curiosity and a tilt of her head.

"Yeah, all the boxing lads know each other. Jack and Alfie practice together, so they fight each other sometimes. Same weight class 'n all." she shrugs and goes back to shouting and ignoring Lucy.

Her eyes stay on him, and for so long she finds herself holding her hands up and clasps as she was when she was applauding but she was no longer thinking about that. This boy was absolutely lovely. A soft face marked with bruises, a sleekness to him the other boys seemed to lack appealed to her. She stares so long she startles when his eyes meet hers as he sits during the rest between the rounds. Her eyes go wide and she grabs Marnie's arm in the sudden flush of her face and the speeding up of her heart.

Alfie sees a spot of lightness in the crowd. Like something that wasn't supposed to be there. He akined her to a flower that would poke through the filthy cobblestones in the spring. A bright little dandelion, not yet bloomed and trampled by its surroundings. Her fair appearance, so clean and crisp and unlike anyone else in the room. She looked like a proper lady. But what would a proper lady be doing at a small fight like this? He notices Marnie, his mate Jack's girl next to her, broad and screaming. The girl next to her was the opposite. Light hair, light skin, some lovely shade of blue dress that he'd only ever seen in the sky during springtime. He thought surely she wasn't the stick in the mud that Jack had moaned about Marnie complaining about all the time. He smirks at the reaction his glance lights in her. Not paying attention to what his coach was saying, watching her grab her friends arm and tittering about and acting like their eyes had never met. He hoped whether win or lose his plans for the night might be looking him in right in the face.

"He looked at me!" Lucy says in a rushed way, her innocence showing her eyes and demeanor.

"What are you on about?" Marnie laughs, looking at her friend.

"The other boy..."

"Alfie?"

"Yes, he looked at me!"

"Well there aren't many girls here, and he knows me so it would be perfectly sensible for him to look at you, eh?" she shakes her head and rolls her eyes at her friend's innocence.

Lucy pretends to be interested in something in her purse until the round starts again. But promptly forgets it as the bell sounds and her eyes are back on him again. She watches with great interest, eyes wide but not with fear now. She finds herself clapping when he gets a hit in on Jack, Marnie elbowing her and laughing, but loving that she was finding a reason to get into it. As they circle, he looks over to her again, and in a foolish moment that only a young lad might take a chance to lose his focus for a pretty girl, he gives her a smile. Her posture straightens, her eyes fluttering as a bashful smile appears on her face. She really was lovely, he thought.

His thoughts are knocked out of his head literally, eyes squeezed shut as Jack connects to his face, stumbling his back. He shakes his head hard, and in that rush of young rage that they all knew about intimately, his pride is hurt in front of a pretty girl and he no longer thinks, only attacks.

Lucy's hands go to her mouth when Alfie is struck in the face so hard. The motherly instincts within her want to stop the fight and help the poor boy but she knows that's silly. Her eyes go wide with concern as Alfie's fists start pummeling down on Jack. Marnie shouting curses at them both. As quickly as she'd blushed at his dangerously charming smile under his bright blue eyes, the fight ends with his arm being raised above his head.

He comes out of his rage as his arm is jerked over his head in victory, the bell signaling his trained brain to stop as he blinks rapidly and comes out of the veil of embarrassment.

"Fuck, sorry, mate." he groans at Jack who his flat on his arse on the mat.

"What the fuck, Alfie?" he spits the words first, followed by blood as Alfie helped pull him up, a hard but apologetic look on his face.

"The hit to the face knocked me into survival mode, mate." he says patting his friend on the back.

Lucy cheers happily, a slight bounce to her feet as Alfie is proclaimed the winner.

"Oh fuck off." Marnie groans, rolling her eyes. "Suppose I'll be gettin' it rough again tonight." she sighs and moans, picking up her purse and Lucy mirrors her.

"What?"

"When he loses." he motions with an air of exhaustion to the boys in the ring. "Always fucks me rather hard."

"Oh." Lucy looks away and tries not to be such a child to blush at the statement. "What about when he wins?"

"Oh he's happy 'n full of beer instead of whiskey and he's rather pleasant and soft." she purses her lips and sighs. "Looks like I'll be drinking to make up the difference tonight. C'mon now Luce, they'll meet us at the pub."

"They?"

"Yes, he and Alfie drink together, come on ya ninny." she takes Lucy's hand and they move out to the street. On the walk to the pub Marnie talks, but Lucy is too busy wondering if after a win, would Alfie be a soft lover as well?

-------

Lucy had been on dates, she'd been kissed by boys and even let one touch her over he clothes before, but when it came to actual attraction she was very inexperienced. She'd gone out with Marnie with the West End boys, but they seemed highly suspect to her. They were so nice and proper and then the moment you got them alone they were all over you. She didn't appreciate dishonesty and she'd sworn off them off after a while, electing to not go out at all if there would be any posh boys around.

So when Lucy felt her stomach flutter as Alfie and Jack walked towards them in the pub it was a new sort of feeling.

"'Ello Marnie, girl." Jack says, charging towards her squeezing her about the waist tightly and planting a big kiss on her.

"You must be Lucy." Alfie says, ignoring the currently snogging couple next to him just as Lucy was trying to.

"Yes, and you're Alfie." she says with a calm voice that she's rather proud to have mustered up.

"That would be me." he smiles. A man comes up and slaps him on the back hard in praise, Lucy is impressed that Alfie doesn't seem to give much to such a harsh gesture. She surely would've been facing down on the floor if someone touched her in such a way. "I've never seen you with her before. You from Marnie's part of town?" He knew the answer, she was so clearly not from his side of town, but still, he wanted to take a chance.

"We're neighbors. Have been since we were born." she explains.

"I mean no offense, love, but you seem like you're from the East, and she surely doesn't." he laughs.

"Well Marnie's a bit..." she side-eyes her friend, nose to nose with her boyfriend who were whispering to each other, his hands firm on her bum. "Naturally inclined to go against what her mother says." she grins.

"And what of you Lucy? Your mum let you come out here?"

"No." she smiles and he mirrors it, finding it sickeningly sweet. "I came with Marnie to support Jack. But it seems that wasn't a wise decision." she holds back a smirk. "I told my mom I was going out with Marnie and she didn't question it."

"Let's go back to my flat. I've got liquor there we can drink 'n me 'n this little minx can grieve our loss." Jack interrupts, laughing and clearly already been drinking somehow, Marnie hangs around his neck like a pendant.

"You gonna come with?" Alfie asks, holding his hand out to her after he stands. She looks at it in consideration for a moment. She'd seen what those hands could do but she didn't find herself afraid of them.

"Have to watch Marnie don't I?" she says with a shrug, being so proud of herself as she finished her drink in one go and took his hand without hesitation.

Back at Jack's flat, she sits on the settee with Alfie. Marnie and Jack practically break down the door to his bedroom as they fall on top of one another.

"Let's go sit out here. Can't hear the animals out there." Alfie grins and opens a window, taking Lucy about the wrist and waist to have her sit on the roof with him.

"Is this safe?" He smiles at her concern.

"I've done it every time he's brought someone and I've been here. Not much for listenin' to others while they're goin' at it." he chuckles.

"Me either." she shakes her head, sitting with crossed legs as they look out at the smokey cityscape.

"I assumed as such." he snarks.

"What's that tone?" she asks with a shrug of her shoulders as she huffs out a laugh.

"You just seem..." he shakes his head. "Not like Marnie."

"I don't know if that's a polite or a rude way to say it." she laughs, her posture softening and so does his, seeing she wasn't offended. "I'm not... not like Marnie. But I'm also a lot more cautious than her, less compulsive it would seem. It's always been that way."

"You been friends since you were kids?"

"Yes. She's always been the troublemaker and I've been the good one." she sighs.

"But you're still out with a roughian like me? Sittin' on a roof in the east end at night?" he smirks.

"Well so are you. What does your mum think of it?"

"Ah. She's too busy with me brothers 'n sisters to worry 'bout me."

"I greatly empathize with that. Have you lived here long?" she changes the conversation to something less personal.

"Oh, I don't live here. This is Jack's flat. I stay a lot but I live with me mum."

"I wish girls could have their own flats. But then again I would be sleeping over at Marnie's and who knows if her place would have a roost to wait out their lovemaking." she laughs and he watches her eyes light up, finding himself staring.

"Lovemaking." he laughs. "Not heard anyone refer to it like that since I was a wee lad. Only ever call it fuckin' 'round here."

"Since he lost I assume that would be a more appropriate word for it." she nods. "Or at least that's what she tells me."

"At least she's honest."

Feeling bold, she decides to divulge more personal information. Perhaps it was how their hands almost touched, as they sat back and listened to the moans and howls of the city below. Or maybe it was how easy he was to talk to. He hadn't been handsy or assumed she was there to do the same as her friend and she found herself already growing fond of him. "She said when he wins he's tender, but when he loses he loses he's rough." she muses. "I would've thought it would be the other way around."

"Why's that?" he's glad she doesn't seem to be wound so entirely tight that he couldn't talk to her like a regular mate. She wasn't pretending to be something she wasn't. There was no need to be pissed for the courage to sleep with a boy who her father wouldn't approve of. Which he'd been on the receiving end of one too many times. At first, it was easy but as he'd gotten older it lost its charms.

"If I lost a fight, I would want to be tender. I'd want to lose myself and forget you know? Have someone console me and build me back up. But if I won I would feel high on it. I'd want to pounce and play and take my prize... so to speak." she shrugs and glances over at him. His eyes hadn't left her the entire night, although he had positioned his head to make it seem so.

"As lovely of a sentiment as that is. It is a distinctly feminine one, yeah?" he offers with narrowed eyes.

"How is that?" he can see the curiosity for his words in her eyes and he adores the sincere attention.

"Men, yeah? They want to show even with a loss that they aren't losers, they don't wanna wallow in it and ask for a cuddle, right? When they win they wanna show they're a winner, get treated as such, have a woman take care of them because they deserve it because they won."

Her eyes wander in thought. "That does make sense." she nods in agreement. "And what of you Alfie? What are you like after a win?"

The cheekiness of the question isn't lost on either of them. He smirks and gives her a charming grin that makes her blush at its underlying intention. "Well.." he begins, a smile showing teeth emerges, she sees a slightly wonky tooth in the front showing between his lips. His, now that she'd let herself really notice them, distractingly soft looking lips. She finds his face to be something she could look at for hours like a painting in a museum. His clean-shaven face, bare to be gazed upon is lighted magnificently by the moon. He was all cheekbones and sloped nose. A heavy brow with hooded lids that didn't hide the cleverness in his blue eyes. He wasn't just handsome, he was beautiful to her. He looked like some sort of poured mineral figurine that would set on a self. Something that didn't belong in the place where it was, she expected a rugged harshness from a boy who fought. But despite the discoloring and tiny cuts, he was stunning to her. "I don't like to mix the fights with sex meself. I find it a slippery slope I don't wanna try to tread on. You put the two together constantly, you'll start not performing at your best when it isn't readily available. And I don't want nuffin' to affect my fightin' except me. And if I rely on girls to fill some sort of need then that's gonna be a problem at some point."

"A boy like you having trouble finding a girl?" she chuckles. "You won and forgive me for being forward but you are very handsome, Alfie."

"I'll take whatever compliments you'll give me, love." he gives her a genuine smile. "And fanks." he nods slowly. "I find myself bein' a bit more particular these days," he informs her, pulling his knees to his chest. "What about you? What's a pretty bird like yourself doin' out alone on a night like 'is?"

"I find myself being a bit more particular these days as well." she gives him a knowing smile, her hands clasped together in her lap.

"And what is it that you particularly like these days?" he asks, seeing where he stood.

"Honesty." she answers quickly.

"Rare, that." he muses, wagging a finger. "But very, very important innit?"

"Very." she nods in agreement sternly. "Looks aren't the most important thing to me, I like someone who wants me for beyond what I look like so I search for much the same in a companion. Although a handsome face and kind eyes are something that would catch my attention. Someone who won't have his hand in my pants as soon as we're alone. That'd be a nice change of pace." she rolls her eyes.

"I see I've at least given you a break from 'at." he gives her a cheeky grin, pushing back is dark hair with his hand and ruffling it only to have it bounce back down into his face.

"Yes and I thank you." she gives him a friendly pat to the arm. An excuse to touch him really, but he was being rather personable with her.

"Nuffin' really. I too have found a lack of good conversation in my life. Boxers... they ain't much for discussion."

"As I could imagine." they share a laugh for a moment. "But you do don't you? We've even touched on the differences between male and female minds and not had an argument."

"Aye we have." he tilts his head and shoots her another charming smile. He sees her take a deeper breath and wonders what his chances are.

"Let's get on the move!" Marnie shouts from the window, smacking the roof with her hand that startles Lucy so much she jumps. Alfie reaches out to put his hand on her back and laughs.

"Let's not try to fly off the roof now pretty bird." he laughs as she blushes with embarrassment. He helps her into the window. Trying not to look up her skirts as she climbs back in, keeping a steady hold on her hand as she slid her way back into the flat.

------ Marnie and Jack are sharing a goodnight kiss inside the flat of an older friend of Marnie's. The boys had walked them to it together, Alfie even putting his arm around Lucy's shoulders, much to their mutual delight. Lucy looks up to Alfie, her face dimly light by the candles in the entryway. "I never said congratulations on your win tonight," she says earnestly. "You were rather good fun to watch." she admits, leaning back on her heels with nerves.

"Fanks, love." he gifts her with another smile that makes her gulp. "Perhaps havin' you there helped?" he gives her a wink and he gets a full smile with teeth.

"Doubtful." she titters.

"Only one way to find out. How about you come with next time Marnie comes to see Jack? Fight or not... I'd like to see you again Lucy."

She loves the way her name sounds when said in his accent. He didn't try to add any fake smoothness to anything about him. He presented himself as he was and she found herself very interested. "I'd like to see you again too, Alfie." she blushes.

He reaches out and takes her hand and kisses it and her breath catches in her throat. "Not to give it any unwanted attention, love, but you are absolutely darling when you blush like 'at." he steps closer.

"Oh, Alfie." she giggles, covering her cheek in embarrassment. "It seems you've brought it out in me tonight."

"You'll come back and see me, yeah? Give me another chance to make you all rosy cheeked?" she gives him a knowing smile, just as cheeky as what he was insinuating to her.

"I will." she nods, a coyer and less innocent smile on her face.

"Let's get 'ome, mate. I'm fuckin' knackered." Jack says seeing Marnie off with a slap to the bum and a hard slap to Alfie's back.

"Right." he nods and watches him leave. "I'll be finkin' of ya Lucy." he says, leaning in to give her a kiss to the cheek that makes her eyes shut. He feels the smile on her face, her round cheeks rising as he pressed his lips to her intoxicatingly soft skin. How had she spent all night where she had and still smelled like flowers? Must've been born and bred into her he thinks.

"And I you Alfie." she gives his hand a squeeze as they pull apart, a quick swish of his thumb over the back of her hand before they let go and she watches them walk down the street until they're out of sight. ------------------

Lucy took any chance she had to go to the East End with Marnie in the coming weeks. She drinks in pubs with her and the boys, she'd taken moonlit strolls hand in hand by the train tracks with Alfie. More long conversations on the rooftop, each time getting closer and closer. Always getting interrupted it seemed by Marnie's harsh voice calling her to leave. She could've stayed on that roof with him until the sun rose. She was surprised he hadn't made a move on her. She was of course relieved by this but she was also feeling rather impatient. She wasn't sure if another hug and kiss to the cheek would sustain her until she saw him again.

Unknown to her, Marnie had given Alfie a good talking to about Lucy. Telling her more than Lucy would've been comfortable with him knowing, but Marnie wanted to protect her friend. She spilled her secrets of never having a crush on a boy before and having never slept with one. She wasn't entirely inexperienced but that if he took advantage of her and her naivety that she would personally be making sure he was too injured to fight in the next bout. And he truly believed her.

So Alfie took his time with her. He gave her the deep conversations she longed for and had his hands on her as often as possible. She adored the non-threatening grasps to her back, waist, and arms if another man approached her, wordlessly marking his territory. She adored, even more, the hand holding. She'd always thought it was so sweet, so affectionate and not brash in any way. She thought only people who truly cared for each other held hands. And she was starting to truly care for Alfie. Anyone with eyes could see it as she'd watch him wherever he went. He was finding himself feeling much the same, wondering what a girl like her, being from where she was, saw in him. But he soon found through their conversations that became more and more personal, that her life had it's problems as well. Not the same as his of course, but life wasn't perfect where she was from, and he was thankful she found him so interesting despite knowing much about the arts, which she would muse about on their strolls. He'd make his way to her part of town, not looking for her per se, but trying to take in what made her, her. He felt out of place, receiving looks as he strolled with his hands shoved into his pockets, sauntering about galleries and asking questions to people who gave him half-formed, bitten answers. But the way her face lit up when he'd say the name of an artist she adored made it worth it.

They were both pie-eyed over the other with no end in sight. Alfie was simply waiting for a moment. He thought if she truly could be something special, that there would be a moment, an event that just grabbed him by his collar and told him to make his move with her. He hadn't expected it to be a fight night, but moments like those never really came when you expected.

He had won again. A streak he was on since being with Lucy. He didn't lose very often before, granted, he was an apt pupil in all things, including his fighting. After the fight she's on his arm, looking at him with adoration in her eyes, watching him be praised and receive his congratulations for it. So while they're all four on the way back to Jack's flat, their guards are down and their laughing and buzzed and having a rare carefree moment together as friends. So when a guy sneaks behind them and pulls Alfie out of Lucy's hands she screams. He's jerked onto the ground and kicked before scrambling up and knocking the other boy over, punches are thrown and without the aid of gloves, the sound makes Lucy feel squeamish. Marnie grabs Lucy back, Jack dives in and scares them off, but not before they get a few good hits in from both sides. He yanks Alfie up and pats his cheek.

"Ya alright mate?" he says, holding his head and looking him over.

Lucy pulls out of her friends hold and runs to him, taking his hand and she feels him squeeze it back.

"Fuckin' 'ell." he groans, shaking his head and almost falling over. "What the fuck was all 'at!" he shouts and stumbles.

"Sore losers 'ats what 'at was." Jack glares in the direction the boys ran off in. "It was the mates of that lad you beat tonight."

"Fuckin' wankers." he mumbles, Jack goes under his arm to help him walk.

"Let's get ya back now." he says with a firm pat to the back.

"Alfie, darling are you okay?"

"S'alright Lucy." he gives a smile to her and nods, squeezing her hand. "They didn't get you did they?"

"No, no." she says quietly.

"Hush up and let's get you laid down now. Ya hit ya head, ya know how it goes." Jack grumbles as they trudge towards his flat.

After settling him into Jack's bed, Lucy sits next to him, holding his hand as he complains that he's fine. "I get beat up for a livin', love, truly I'm fine." he groans, sitting up.

"They've gone to fetch you something cold from the shops for your face."

"They dinnit have to do that." he pouts.

"No but you're cheek is swelling and I'll have none of that." she says with a bossy tone that makes him smile. "What?" she says with a pushed back chin at the confusing look on his face.

"You're awfully precious when you're bossy." he grins and it does hurt a bit but it was nothing he couldn't handle.

"Oh hush, talk like that makes me certain you were walloped too hard." her concern breaks into a smile as she leans in to kiss his forehead.

"Got it." Marnie says, bringing in a chunk of ice wrapped in a tea towel to hand off to him. "Luce?" she asks, motioning with her head for her to join them.

"Keep that there." she says softly, and Alfie nods, accepting the kindness.

"He can have Jack's bed tonight. He doesn't want him out alone. Jack and I will go to Sylvia's and you two can stay here. Will that work alright?" she asks, a bit hesitant to your answer.

"Oh." she says with wide blinking eyes.

"Are you seriously nervous?" she laughs.

"No." she pouts. "I just, it's unexpected is all."

"You'll be fine. Come to me in the morning when you're a woman and we'll gossip on the walk home, eh?" she teases, giving her a hug before she leaves.

"He's hurt don't be silly." she dismisses the thought.

"Not too hurt for that I'd imagine." she smirks and kisses her friends cheek.

She gets a drink and takes a deep breath. She frowns, looking out the window at her friends walking down the street. Did they really need to have sex that badly? At least they hadn’t thrown him on the sofa and went at in the bed anyway. He did get hit by multiple boys without having a chance the defend himself. You were glad Jack wasn’t so blinded by Marnie's sexual prowess that he would let his friend be uncomfortable for it. You think perhaps Jack is an alright lad. A bit horny for your tastes but, to each their own. Alfie didn’t seem that way. He did plenty of flirty and cheeky things, both with words and winks that made her skin break out in goosebumps without even touching her. She wishes she’d had more time to prepare for such an opportunity as this that lay before her tonight. She’d terribly wanted to kiss him, she’d think about it every night before bed, what his full lips would feel like. Would his hands be rough or gentle with her when they finally touched her? Would sex hurt the way she was told it would? She hadn’t given sex much thought before Alfie. Not in any real, I want to do this capacity. It was talk for the girls to whisper about and giggle, but doing it was something else entirely. And finding herself considering it, wanting it even. She felt that new and strange feeling surge through her. That pure rebellion. The thrill of doing something that wouldn’t be approved of. Her breathing has picked up, her hand mindlessly stroking across her cleavage as she’s interrupted.

“Everyfing alright, love?” She hears Alfie's gruff voice speak from the doorway.

“Oh yes, just fine.” She says quickly, moving towards him. “They went to our friend's house and left us here for the night. Marnie said Jack didn’t want you out alone after those boys jumped you so he thought it best we just stay here.”

“Oh.” He says, his full lips pressed together in thought for the sudden news. “Are you alright with that?” He asks, his head turning quickly to hers in question.

“Yes. I told her it was fine.” She says with a wave of her hand.

“You uh... want the bed and I can take the couch if you’d like?” He offers.

“Don’t be silly Alfie. I’m not letting you sleep anywhere but that bed.” She says walking past him. “Come now, let yourself rest.” She motions to the bed, standing with her hands on her hips and examining the room. "I wonder if Marnie has left anything here I could sleep in." she mutters, chewing on a fingernail.

"Doubtful. She doesn't really stay the night does she?"

"Suppose not."

"Lucky he expected her over and changed his bedsheets." Alfie chuckles, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I suppose I can sleep in just my shift. Basically the same as a gown, isn't it?" she asks to no one in particular.

"If you're gonna..." he motions to her with his hand. "You mind if I shed some layers as well?"

"Oh yes, that's perfectly fine, darling." she says, moving to the bathroom to run some water and wipe away at her face, leaving her shoes by the dresser.

He was surprised by the nonchalant nature of her words and actions. Perhaps he'd thought her too innocent from her friend's warnings. She didn't seem like she was embarrassed at all. But that could be her logical side. They were stuck in this position and she was acting as reasonably as it called for. No need to make a fuss over some skin he supposes, although the thought of having her close to him was starting to make him stir. He pulls off his shirt, shoes already taken off by her when they'd arrived. He leaves his trousers on and waits for her to make the next move. He watches her hitch up her skirts, rolling one stocking down then the other and he's utterly captivated by it. A lump grows in his throat as he sees the untouched skin of her thighs in a glance, wondering if everything was as soft as he'd imagined it to be.

"Would you help me with my dress?" she asks, a more obvious glint of anxiety in her eyes.

"'Course, c'mere." he says, standing as she turns and waits for his fingers to help unbutton the back of her dress. "There you go, sweetie." he says in a quiet tone as if he might startle her.

She slips her arms out, stepping out of the dress to reveal her thin white shift. He gulps at the sight of her skin, far more than he'd ever seen before. Her arms and shoulders now bare, he admired the bend in the nape of her neck as it stretched with her as she folded her dress and laid it over a chair. He wasn't prepared for her to turn around and approach him. The soft lace fell around her knees, moving as she did. He could see the curve of her hips, a tiny ribbon woven into the fabric just under her chest that pulled it tight across and he lets out a long exhale, lips parting in his fascination. She was his lovely little bird with delicate collar bones peeking through the soft waves of her hair as she let it down. He'd never seen it fully down and his fingers itched to touch it.

She can see the distracted look in his eyes. He was forgetting his manners, watching her body as she moved closer to his. She wasn't finding herself to be offended in the least. She'd longed for a boy to look at her in such a way. His blue eyes now half-lidded and those plush lips of his, wetted and parted as she stood in front of him with barely anything between them she felt powerful. He looked at her like she was the only woman in the world and that was what all young girls wanted from their boys.

"Alfie?" she interrupts his staring with a soft voice that makes his lids flutter and his brain remember she was, in fact, standing in front of him and this wasn't a fantasy he got to gawk at. "Do you sleep in your trousers?" she asks with a smile that's almost a smirk.

"I actually prefer to sleep naked." he blurts out without thinking then nervously laughs and rubs the back of his neck. Who was he to get clumsy around a girl? He's beginning to realize that he's feeling more than something below the waist for her. His heart does a funny little patter in his chest to accompany the stirring deep in his stomach. What an angel she was too him.

She giggles and shrugs. "If that's what you'd like." she says in a humorous acceptance.

“Oh! No, no I’m not gonna.” he lets out a nervous laugh. “Will take my trousers off though.” He says averting his eyes and leaving to one side of the bed.

She looks like she floats to the other side, light coming through the window and hiding enough of the dingy room for her hormone filled to find it all terribly romantic. She gets in and lays on her back with her hands clasped over her stomach. She looked posh even when she slept he bet. He slides in next to her, mirroring how she lay. His usual sprawled and wild limbs manner wouldn’t suit sharing a bed with a girl.

She turns and sits up after a few moments of silence. “Alfie?” Her voice that couldn’t help but sound sweet called out for his attention.

“Yeah, love?” He asks, his eyes moving to meet hers.

“Are we really going to share a bed all night and not... do anything about it?”

“I didn’t want to assume.”

“We’ve known each other for over a month now and I have to say I’m more than surprised by your behavior.”

“Right now or we talkin' in general?” He asks with a sarcastic tone as moves to lay on his side as well.

“Both.”

“What’s surprisin' bout it?” He asks earnestly

“I thought a lad from the east side would’ve made a move on me quicker.” She states with a shrug, her head resting in her hand.

“Well, I did make it known I wanted to see you again that first night. That weren’t nothing”

“Yes, but I meant physically.” She states flatly. “Why haven’t you kissed me Alfie?” She asks right out and he’s impressed by the aggression she’s showing.

“I didn’t want to offend you.” He says softly in defense. “That and... well Marnie threatening to end me if I hurt you put me off it.” he admits.

“Oh hell.” She sighs and pouts. “Should’ve known it was bloody Marnie.”

“Why would I kiss a filthy mouth like 'at now?” He laughs and teases.

“Oh bugger off” she rolls her eyes, shoving his arm playfully. “So is Marnie the reason you haven’t kissed me then?”

“At this point yeah.” He nods.

“Well she isn’t here is she?”

“No one is love.” he says quietly.

“Then you have no reason not to do it.” She says with a smile, leaning closer to him.

“'Spose ya right about that.” he answers softly as he scoots closer, suddenly not sure what to do with his hands.

“You DO want to don’t you Alfie?” She asks and the uncertainty in her eyes and voice make his brow furrow with sadness for it.

“Since the first night I met ya.” he confesses.

He sees the relief fall over her face and she bats her lashes, gathering her gumption and scooting closer to him.

“And I you.” she responds, looking at his lips and so anxious to find out if they were as soft as they looked.

“Right,” He says almost under his breath, looking over her face which showed nothing but anticipation. He raises his hand to her cheek and it’s just as soft as he thought. He leaves no more room for either of their imaginations to have to assume what the others pouty lips felt like as he brought them together at last. He expected hesitation from her, perhaps some clumsy or awkwardness but he doesn’t find it. It starts as a single peck, a chaste lips to lips brushing as she kept her eyes shut while he gave a moment of pause for her to step back if she wished. His expectation that she would be reserved was challenged as she pushed back against him, stretching her neck to press into him properly. As her hand slid over his on her face, she pushed forward, deepening the kiss, eagerly accepting his tongue as it teased at her before they lapped together, exploring the others skills. She presses her body against his, his hand traveling to her waist to hold her close.

Quickly they find a natural position. He moves his upper body over hers as she lies on her back, arms wrapped around his head while his hand behaves and stays stroking her side. She’s in a haze of kisses. She doesn’t even notice when he pulls back to catch his breath. He gets to observe her for just a moment lying there with her eyes shut and her lips pouted. Taking in the soft roundness of her face and the way her delicate features seemed so distinctly feminine. Her eyes flutter open but remain half-lidded as she gazes up at him. They both share a breath for a moment.

“Is there something the matter?” she asks. ”Why did you stop?” Her voice is soft and breathy in her questioning.

“Am I supposed to kiss you all night?” He grins.

“I’m not opposed to the idea.” she giggles.

He looks down at her with clear adoration and she finds herself blushing as he strokes back her hair. “I don’t want you to think we have to do anything because we’re in the same bed.” He states.

“I don’t think that.” She whispers with a subtle shake of her head. “Marnie must’ve lead you to believe I was some pristine and untouched virgin who cowered at the thought of a boy touching her.” She frowns. “Didn’t she?” Her lips purse after she sighs.

“She did say you were a virgin. Yeah.” He mutters.

“I am but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to touch me, Alfie.” she says defensively.

He nods, a single slow blink before resituating himself, his hand now resting on her ribs. “As long as you’re sure. I wouldn’t want to scare you away.” He admits.

“I’m certain it would only assure that I would not.” She smirks and leans up to kiss him playfully. “I really like you, I was prepared to experience things with you for the first time before tonight. I thought a boxer from the east end would have fast hands outside the ring as well as in, to be honest.”

“You want ‘em to be?” He smirks now, eyes wandering past her face and down to her chest.

“Yes.” She answers in a soft voice, putting her hand over his on her body before rubbing it back up his arm and pulling his face toward hers.

They let themselves feel things that have built up over the past weeks. He gives over with a groan as he reaches up to cup her breast through the thin fabric, moving his body up against hers. Subconsciously her body begs for it, her legs opening as he kissed her with a mixture of lips and tongue that wasn’t forced and unpleasant like she’d felt before. Everything about him was so much softer than she’d thought it would be. His knuckles might’ve been marked but his skin was pliant and warm as she touched him.

As he moves his mouth to her neck, her eyes roll back and she lets out a moan she hadn’t known she was holding in. Sighing out his name into the dark he works his lips against her skin, being sure to not mark her, but wanting to make her feel as best he could.

She appreciated his apprehension and understood it as Marnie could be rather threatening. Most girls her age were getting married and had been getting their experience in before they had to do so. Lucy was still holding out hope she’d marry for love and someone who knew how to touch her. She hoped that she wouldn’t have to settle and sow her wild oats before marriage. She wanted to be with someone who would be wild with her while married.

As Alfie kissed his way down her chest, she let her fingers card through his short hair before letting her hand fall back, watching as his pink and kiss-swollen lips follow the thin fabric of her shift as he pulled it down her chest to expose her breasts. He never hesitated and gave her no reason to feel self-conscious as the thought of her being anything but perfect was far from his mind.

He felt her thighs rub together instinctively, bent knees bumping into him as she started to gasp and writhe as he sucked away at her nipple. She’d recalled brushing against them and it feeling pleasurable before, but she’d never considered his plush lips abilities for much beyond kissing her, but she was flushed and her toes curled with an appreciation for what he brought out in her.

She’d never felt her heart race and stomach flutter in such a way before. Watching his lashes fan across the tops of his cheeks, the way his brow furrowed in concentration, a deeper masculine sound coming from him as his hands held her tight. Moving down to her hip, she shuddered at the thought of him touching the bare skin of her thighs.

She finds him so strikingly beautiful. Such a delicate face, such a shame he was a boxer she thought. He was so lovely she hoped that softness would stay forever. She wants to see him panting like she was, to cause this sort of response in him as well. She wanted to touch him like he was her. She feels him hard against her hip, only his thin pants in a material similar to her shift between them. How thrilling it was to know he couldn’t deny his attraction to her. The proof lies hot against her skin as she swallows and gathers her mind to reach her hand between them and touch him.

“Lucy.” He whispers, pulling himself away from her skin, a fact neither was happy about. “You don’t have to do that, love.” He shakes his head and smiles gently, his voice just the same.

“I want to.” She says softly, large eyes batting up at him as her hand slides over him, the back of her hand sending a twitch of his muscles through his stomach at the contact. “You’re... already hard.” She muses, eyes looking down as he leans back to take in the sight of her slender and delicate hands with their curious fingers wrap around him. She twists her body slightly, arms pressing her breasts together and her other hand reaching to grasp him fully. She sees his eyes shut and lips part as she strokes him. “I want to see you.” She whispers.

He doesn’t need any more discussion, he would give her whatever she asked of him. He moves and swiftly takes off his pants, discarded in the floor. Her eyes are full of curiosity and wonder for his form as it’s revealed to her. So this was what all the fuss was about. She wasn’t sure if he was big or not, as she had to real reference, only gossip, and Marnie's crude depictions. She didn’t know how he compared, but thinking about something that size going into her somehow seemed like the stories of first times being painful to seem true. She knew he was cut and that was the case, she studied him almost dutifully, fingertips light and gentle on his length and she explored. He was nestled in an almost gingery nest of hair, her fingers being bold enough to reach down and touch below him, seeing what it was all the boys would shout about when they were kicked between the legs. It wasn’t exactly what she expected but then again, she didn’t know what to expect. But the way he fought to keep his eyes open, his tongue peeking out between his thick lips as she loosely stroked at him made her feel powerful and more confident about the whole endeavor.

"Can I?" he begins, licking his lips and getting a hold on himself. "Can I touch you first, love?" he asks her softly, going back to nuzzling into her neck, breathing in her hair as his hand trailed below her hem and he dragged it up her legs. "I don't want you to be trying to focus on me. Not when it's the first time." he shakes his head back and forth, nose moving back to her face before kissing her again.

She nods in response, her hand slowly pulling away, he was flattered at her hesitancy to let him go. She rests her hand on her stomach, pulling up her skirt as he watched her bare herself to him. The covers lay bunched up at their feet, no need for their warmth while their bodies were together, their heavy breathing making the air feel thick around them. "Can I still touch you? If I want to?" she asks and the uncertainty in her voice makes him smile. The back of her hand brushes against him, the one pinned between their bodies.

"Of course. I only want you to be able to focus and tell me what feels good." he explains his fingers now trailing her inner thighs. "I want to make you feel good, Lucy. I don't want you to regret this come morning." he confesses.

"It's you Alfie," she whispers, a single kiss to his jaw as he watching his fingers tease across her soft skin. "I won't regret it."

He gently cups her soft thatch of hair, a thrill runs through her at the contact. She didn't feel as nervous as she expected, as she felt thoroughly excited and alive. "Have you ever..." he nods down to where his hand lies. "Touched yourself?" he manages to make it sound as nonthreatening as possible.

"I share a room with my siblings, I've never had the chance to." she admits.

He nods, realizing he really is taking a degree of innocence from her. He barely recalled his first time. There'd been alcohol involved and an older girl. A friend of his brothers. She'd told him he was handsome, asked him if he'd ever been with a girl. He'd said no for some reason, in hindsight he should've said yes, kept his wits about him and sounded like a proper bloke about it. But he hadn't and she'd taken his virginity, wasn't like he was using it anyway. But it was different for girls, he thought. None of the girls he'd been with had been virgins. At least none admitted it if they were. He tried to not feel guilty, seeing the want in her eyes for him. "If I do something you don't like, you tell me." he instructs her.

She nods quickly. "Of course." she says with fluttering lashes, so ready to please.

She notices a tightness in his jaw and the concentration of a furrowed brow as his fingers begin to trace up and down her slit. They sink between her lips, welcomed by a surplus of hot and wet arousal that he was thankful to find. She wasn't too nervous, this was proof she wanted him. He lets his reservations fade away as he connects their mouths again in a kiss to distract her as he explores her. He doesn't insert his fingers, only circling, teasing and finding her little-swollen bud that jumped at his touch. The tiny moan that accompanied her thighs shuddering when he finds it makes him return the sound into her mouth.

"Good?" he asks, lips pressed against hers.

"Uh-huh." she nods rapidly against him. He deepens the kiss, his fingers finding what she likes. He trails lightly over the arch of her clit, presses hard on either side of it, circles and flicks and finds a light but fast maneuver that she responds the most to.

The pleasure builds and she slowly loses her inhibitions with him. Her moans grow louder, her tongue flicks out her mouth and stretches for his lips when he pulls them away to breathe. At first, it felt good as he felt her out and slowly it built. Her hand in the longer hair at the top of his head, clutching it, only working on instinct as he brushed at this magic spot that she was slowly understanding what all the fuss was about. She feels him hard against her leg, his mouth now attached to her nipple, sucking away as his hips move and rub himself against her. She reaches down, wrapping her fingers around him and he lets out a long groan into her breast.

"Fuck." he exhales, pressing his forehead against her collarbone.

The breathy way he groans out the word makes a blush come to her face that she can feel. She was making him act this way, she felt invigorated and different. She felt sexy as he looked down at her, something she'd never felt before. They both pant away, gazing at each other, hips now twitching and rutting, him against her thigh as he fucked into her hand, like her against his palm as he tried to speed up and bring her over the edge.

"Alfie." she mewls, head pushing back into the pillow. "I want... I want... more." she whines, her hips circling, searching for something even though they didn't know that.

"Be still love." he whispers against her lips before teasing around her entrance again. "I don't want to hurt you." he says in a sweet way that she responds to, holding his head down to kiss him with gasping pauses and deep probing tongues. She stills her hips and with one finger he gives her what she wants. A slow push, an in and out she could handle, her mouth open and a deeper moan coming up from her stomach as her eyes flutter shut.

"Oh my god." she whimpers.

"That's it, pet." he whispers into her ears and her back arches. He pushes against her with his knuckles, giving her pressure against her body that made her pull his hair.

She mumbles wordlessly into the dark room, his head buried in her neck, listening and feeling her around him.

"Can you take another?"

"Please." she openly begs. He was intoxicated by her eagerness for it. He was keeping his brow low and jaw tight as she continued to keep a firm hold around his cock, grasping at him and stroking enthusiastically in phases as she became overwhelmed and gained her senses again. He didn't want her to stop, but she would make him come before her if he wasn't careful. He wanted to melt into her, hear her moan out his name in her voice, sounding better than he'd imagined in his head. So breathy and needful.

He gives her what she asks, two fingers, slower still. Her lids bat, her mouth open as gasps and he rises to meet her face.

She mewls and nods, her face showing a hint of discomfort, but he knew there was no escaping it completely. "Yes. Yes." she pants, lip snarled and head back as she felt something inside her that stretched her for the first time. It wasn't painful, but it felt foreign at first. The way he moved slow and steady, keeping her distracted and wet as he kissed and sucked away at every bit of her his mouth could reach. He slowly opened her up, he presses his palm against her, a trick he'd told about by his older brother. And it certainly did make her moan as promised. "Oh my god Alfie, yes." she pleads, her hips back to moving against him, her thighs brushing against his length. She begins to buck again, breathing growing faster, grip around him alert again, her slender fingers reaching and stroking away at him to the pace he set inside her. "Kiss me." she demands, her free hand pulling him back down to her, a heated and messy lock follows, he finds himself getting lost in her again. Their hips grinding in tandem, listening to her call out his name, feeling her so tight around his fingers, her muscle tensing and hips begging him for more as he tried to rub every part of her he should. He thinks about what it would be like to feel her around him, so hot and tight, feeling her chest rise and fall against his flush, his limbs a tangled mess with hers, making her his.

"Fuck love, you're gonna make me come too soon."

"I think... I think I'm close." she whines and nods, hand on his cheek as she sees how blown out his eyes are, the most lovely dark blue she'd ever seen. "Come with me." she suggests.

His tilts his head. "But what about-?" he begins.

"Oh fuck Alfie please, I want to feel you do it too. Please. I think... I'm close, yeah. It feels so good, Alfie, my God." she rushes out, groaning and arching against him.

"I want to feel you too." he groans into her skin. "You feel so fuckin' right, love. I want you to come for me, Lucy. Let me do that." he hears the faults in his voice, knowing her soft hands, the rush of the newness and her eagerness all in combination with her milky, smooth thighs rubbing fast as she bucked against him were ending him. "Fuck you feel so good." he mumbles, a noise of anger leaving him, frustration from being so close, wanting her there too.

"Yeah, yeah." she nods, he sees her stomach convulse, her breathing faster and deeper as she can no longer kiss him. "Alfie."

"Yes love, let go." he tells her between kisses to her ear. "Let it happen. This is... fuck..." he feels his hips begin to stutter, his balls starting to tingle.

"Alfie I think I'm gonna... gonna..." she whimpers, her eyes starting to cross and her thighs shaking and tightening.

"Ya fuckin' perfect love, yeah." he says mindlessly as she begins to shake, a shocked look in her eyes as her stomach convulses hard and brings her head up to watch the work his hand was doing, now half hidden between her thighs as her hips moved involuntarily.

"Ugh!" she lets out a loud and deep moan, followed by tiny gasps, high pitched moans that sounded so innocent as they left her, he felt her legs relax, she grabbed him by his hair again and pulled him in for a rough kiss. It was sloppy and wet and desperate, a pure expression of the overflow from what he'd done to her, his hips continue to move, his hand staying cupped over her, keeping her still as her hand grasped at him.

"Yes, love, yes." he pants, pushing his forehead against hers. She got to witness the most vulnerable moment with another person she'd ever experienced. His face contorted, a heavy masculine brow drawing shut, hiding those blue eyes from her. His row of slightly askew teeth showed as his lips twitched and she felt a warmth spurt out over her bare thigh. His body spasmed just like hers had, grunts as his hips bucked just the same. He wasn't silent, but he wasn't as loud as she had been. They didn't sound like Marnie and Jack together and she felt like that was oddly reassuring in a way.

His eyes open wide as if he had snapped out of a daze. His shoulders slump, his face pressing against her chest as they both panted and caught their breath. They lay there like that until everything stilled. The aftershocks had passed, and their hands were lazy as they stroked at each other's naked skin.

"You alright, love?" he asks, raising his head to look at her. If he'd looked first then asked, he would've seen it was a needless question. She was lying like an angel. A moonbeam across her as flushed cheeks faded slowly, her eyes half-lidded and relaxed, a mischievous smile on her lips.

"I'm wonderful." she giggles.

"You are." he nods and kisses her gently.

"You are." she says back with another soft kiss. "That was amazing."

"If ya give me a little bit I can be ready to go again. Give ya the full show, so to speak." he admits sheepishly.

She answers with a giggle and a shake of her head. "No, I think I'm too tired now. Does it always make you so sleepy afterward?" she asks, her nose wrinkling with interest.

"Sometimes." he nods and kisses her cheek. "Let me get us cleaned up, yeah? And then we can get some sleep, hmmm?" he asks, stroking her hair out of her face.

"Lovely, that." she sighs out, a blissful look on her face he wanted to capture and never forget.

--------------------------------- Lucy feels like a new woman the next day. Having him see her off where Marnie and Jack had stayed. Kissing her deep and holding her close, making her blush and giggle before leaving her.

"So... seems I was right." Marnie snarks as they walk down the street back home.

"Not entirely." Lucy shakes her head, a smirk on her face.

"That smile says differently." she laughs and pokes at her friend's side.

"We didn't... ya know." she rolls her eyes and blushes. "But we did... other things." she bursts into giggles.

"Good for me there's a long walk home and I want to hear EVERYTHING!" Marnie says, taking her arm and wrapping it around Lucy's as they titter and giggle the whole way home.

--------- Lucy is in town, picking out food for dinner for her mother in the market while she took one of her younger siblings to the doctor. She' perusing a basket of apples, when hands go over her eyes, a deep voice she recognizes fills her ears and heart simultaneously.

"Guess who, love?" he says with a huge grin.

"Alfie?!" she says with a startle, turning fast as she smacks his chest. "You frightened me!" she scolds before giggling at the handsome young man in front of her.

"My apologies love." he nods his head and gives her a pout.

"Cheeky lad." she laughs. "What are you doing here?" she asks, getting a kiss on the cheek from him as they walk past the market where fewer people were.

"Had to come to visit some lads up at this gym on this side of town."

"Oh? What for?"

"Some interest in havin' me fight." he grins proudly.

"Oh that's wonderful!" she says, wrapping an arm around him to hug him, her other arm occupied by a large basket.

"It is. " he nods. "I happened to see ya before headin' back and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see my lovely little bird now could I?" he gives her a charismatic smile, his hands pushed into his pockets as she sighs at the very sight of him.

"I'm glad you didn't." she says with a dreamy look in her eyes. "Mum's with Laurel at the doctors. I'm fetching things for tea. It's almost time for her be getting out believe."

"Everyfing alright?" he asks, a reassuring squeeze her arm.

"Oh yes, just a check-up." she dismisses the concern. "But you should probably go before she shows up." she grins.

"Don't wanna deal with all 'at just yet?" he smirks, leaning in towards her.

"No, not yet. I'd like to have this relationship stay between you and me alone for a while. It's too nice to dampen just yet." she sighs happily.

"That it is." he nods and gives her a chaste kiss. "Ya comin' 'round with Marnie this weeks end?"

"I am." she nods.

"I'm stayin' at Jack's while we's trainin' for the fight. Don't want me mum to worry with the bumps and bruises 'n that." he explains.

"What a good boy you are." she laughs and teases.

"Nah." he gives her a cheeky grin and a wrinkle of his nose. "I'll be seein' ya, Lucy."

"Yes you will." she gives him an equally amorous expression before spinning and heading back to the market.

---------- Lucy stands next to her mother as she washes dishes and Lucy dries them. She's tired and content, a mindless smile on her face that her mother now knows the source of.

"I saw you with that boy today." she says, a brow arched, the clink of plates knocking against one another in the sink fill the awkward silence. Lucy doesn't say anything, her eyes avoid her mothers glance as she sighs. "Why did you not tell me about him?"

"I..." you shrug. "I liked having him to myself I suppose."

"Did you go to school with him? Or is he not from here? I didn't recognize him."

"No I didn't. He's not from here."

"Am I going to have to ask every single question of you or are you going to give me the information you know I want know," she states flatly, side-eyeing her daughter. "How about a name?"

"His name is Alfie. He's from the East End." she answers with a tight jaw.

"I see." her mother responds, clearly displeased. "His last name?" she says with more of a demand than a question. Lucy knew this wasn't going to end well. She had hoped she could keep him a secret. She knew her mother wouldn't approve. But she hadn't cared.

"Solomons." she answers, lowering her face as she dries another dish.

"You're seeing a Jewish boy?" she says with a face contorted in surprise and disapproval.

"Yes." she states clearly, feeling defensive of him.

"Why on earth would you be wasting your time with some Jew from the East end?" she says arrogantly.

"Because he's a nice boy."

"Nice?" she huffs out a laugh.

"Yes. He's smart and funny and kind to me."

"For now." she snarks.

"What's what supposed to mean?" she sass's back.

"It means you aren't a Jew, sweetheart. Jews don't marry non-Jews."

"That's not true." she retorts.

"It is. And it's clear you unfortunately like him... so I think you should end this little tumble you're having with this back street lad and get your bearings straight." she says sharply.

"I do like him and I have no intention on ending it." her tone is so defiant her mother is both furious and impressed.

"Yes you will." she commands, her voice low and threatening. "How did you think it would end Lucy? Hmmm? Did you think he'd marry you? You're not daft, girl."

"I don't know. Maybe." she shrugs. "I liked him and that's as far as I thought it through."

"You have to think ahead, Lucy. You can't go around thinking with your heart. And he's taken advantage of that mindset I'm sure."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she says turning to look at her mother with an angry red face.

"It means, he's using you, darling. Jewish boys sow their wild oats with non-Jewish girls because they don't truly respect them. They get their fun out of the way before they settle down with one of their own. It happened when I was young, I know."

"That's not what he's doing. He's been very respectful!" she retorts.

"They even have a word for it you know. A word for the starter girls, the goy little girls that believe all their educated words and find them interesting. They call them Shiksa. It's an insult and that's what you are, Lucy. I don't want to hurt you darling but you have to understand-"

"I don't have to understand anything!" she stomps her foot. "YOU need to understand that he isn't like that. And I'm not leaving him!"

"I'm not going to have you mess up and get knocked up by some roughian east ender and have you be the talk of the town, Lucy. Your father and I brought you up better than that. You're going to marry a nice lad you went to school with whose parents have given him a job at their company and you're going to have little girls who grow up to not understand and rebel against their mothers and act like ungrateful brats just like you." her voice is calm and that makes it hurt even more.

"No." Lucy growls.

"Yes. You will end it with this lad. If not I will."

"And how would you do that?" she crosses her arms and raises her voice.

"I'm guessing you'll be finding out won't you?" she replies with a hard face.

"I'm not leaving him. I love him." she says, her hand's in fists and shaking.

"Oh bloody hell here we go." her mother sighs and rolls her eyes. "You don't know what love is you silly child!"

"Yes I do! And I'm not a child! I'm almost twenty!"

"Perhaps you should start acting like it if you want to be treated as such." she snaps back.

"I will! By making the decision to stay with who I love and not some fucking dimwitted lad who's never had to have an original thought in his life!" she throws the dishtowel on the floor and stomps out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

Her mother sighs, a high eyebrow in annoyance. Seeing she would have to put her foot down and make some decisions for her daughter like they had been made for her.

"Where do you think you're going?" she shouts and she sees Lucy dart past the door.

"What do you care?!" she shouts and slams the front door, stomping her way down the street with her bag and coat drawn.

Moments later Lucy hears fast clicking footsteps behind her down the street. "What happened?!" she hears Marnie shout as she catches up with her friend.

Lucy tells her what her mother said and Marnie's face frowns. She knew her own mother wouldn't approve of Jack, but she loved him anyway. She was on borrowed time with him as well. She felt deeply for Lucy, who hadn't even lived in the way she had yet.

"I'm sorry." she says, locking her arm in Lucy's.

"Yeah." she mutters, her face still hard, tears wet down her face. "Why are you still here?" she asks, turning her face to look at Marnie's apologetic one.

"I'm not letting you walk to the fuckin' east end alone!" she says obviously. "We're in this together okay? I'm not looking forward to losing Jack either." she says reaching down to hold Lucy's hand.

"At least maybe he'll knock you up and you can marry that way." Lucy shrugs.

"Yeah like she'd let me keep it." she rolls her eyes.

"Maybe she would. Worth a shot." Lucy shrugs.

"Maybe." she pauses. "And what about you and Alfie?" she asks. "Would she let you keep it if he knocked you up?"

Lucy's face softens, lashes fluttering in thought. "I don't know." she whispers.

"Worth a shot?" Marnie asks, suggesting the same thing to her.

Lucy gulps noisily and sighs. "Yeah, maybe." she nods. ----------------

For the first time in their relationship, Lucy leads the way. Marnie stands back and lets her act out how she needs to. She recalls all the time's Lucy was there to pick up her broken pieces over the years, letting her scream and fight and make rash decisions. So she returned the favor for her best friend.

Lucy's small fist knocks on the door to Jack's apartment. "Jack? Alfie?" she calls loudly and desperately.

Marnie holds her breath, hoping that they were home.

"Bloody hell ya want to let the whole building know ya here?" Jack says with a furrowed brow as he swings the door open.

Lucy ignores him. "Is Alfie here?"

"Yeah, love, I'm-" Alfie answers from inside the apartment. She shoves past Jack, knocking him off balance as he looks to Marnie who is wearing an apologetic and solemn face and he decides to keep his mouth shut. "Fuckin' 'ell what's wrong?" his eyes are wide as she rushes towards him and wraps her arms around him, squeezing him tight. "What's happened? Are you alright?" he asks, his hands moving across her body, up to her face to pull it away from his chest to check her for injuries. "What is it Lucy?" he says quietly, seeing the tears in her eyes.

"My mum." she says before she starts crying.

"What's? Did she die? What?" the words rush out, his face showing clear confusion.

"I wish she fucking would!" she shouts into his chest and starts sobbing.

His eyes go wide, such a heartfelt declaration from Lucy surely meant something. She wasn't one to say words she didn't mean.

"Let's leave them, Jack." Marnie whispers. "Her mum found out about him and said some nasty things, wants her to leave him." she explains discreetly and Jack nods, with a heavy sigh he grabs his shoes and coat, giving Alfie a nod who returns it as he begins to tut at Lucy, trying to hold her face in his hands.

"Now breathe for me, darling." he commands, taking a big deep breath himself. "Look at me. I'm here. You're here with me. You're safe. Let's calm down now, yeah?" he nods, wiping away her tears.

"She saw us by the market. She wants me to leave you." she begins to sob again and he feels his chest ache, letting her lean back into it as he wraps his arms around her. His hand on the back of her head, as he rests his mouth against her hair. "She said I was a shiksa and you were using me. But you aren't are you? Please tell me she's wrong. I didn't believe her but-"

"No!" he shouts and it catches her off guard. "How dare she call you such a thing. Fuckin' woman claiming to know how I feel-" he begins and stops himself as he feels the red hot anger build and flush his face. "I really care for you, Lucy. Don't let her words lead you to think otherwise."

"I don't want to leave you Alfie." she sniffles.

"I don't want you to leave me either." he responds flatly, but honestly.

"Alfie?" she asks, her emotional voice breaking.

"Yes, love?" he sighs out, holding her lovely and pinked face, watching her little petal lips tremble.

"I... I love you." she chokes out. "I've never felt this way before. How can she-?" she begins to sob again at the thought.

"Shhh, Shhhh." he says, fingers stroking her hair. "Breathe love," he whispers. "I love you too ya know? I don't want this to end, same as you. I should've not kissed you in public like that. I'm sorry, it weren't right."

"No!" she says pulling away. "You should be able to kiss me anywhere and however we want!" she states defiantly. "Why can't two people like us show affection without others having something bad to say! Who cares if you're Jewish? Who cares if we're from different places? What does that have to do with anything?" she says, pulling away, caught up in her own anger and she wipes her face harshly.

"It dunnit." he says softly with a loud sigh, moving to get a glass of water. "But the world likes us to not mix with those outside our own."

"It's not fair!" she shouts, bottom lip shaking still.

"I know little bird, I know." he says with a disheartened smile, handing her the glass and rubbing her back. "As a poor Jew believe me... I know." he says with more bite to his tone that makes her come out of her upset for herself.

"And as a woman, things are forced and expected of me that I don't want as well." her anger faulters, a sense of hurt replacing it now. She pushes back the tears and moves back towards him, his face in her hands. "I love you Alfie. I don't know what will happen to us and that frightens me. I don't want to lose you." she says with conviction and he holds his hands over hers.

"I know, love." he nods. "I 'on't know what'll become of us either. But know I do love you. And your mum or anyone else keepin' us apart innit gonna change that. You're my little posh doll what come 'round to roll in the mud with the likes a me." he gives her a smile, his eyes sad but full of adoration. "How could I forget such a treasured thing like you? Not like anyfing I've ever experienced before are ya?" he leans in to kiss her gently.

"I love you Alfie. I don't want to be anyone else's." she shakes her head and wraps her arms around his neck. "I love you." she confesses again, pushing her lips to his.

"I love you, Lucy. I don't want ya to be anyone else's either." he holds her face and kisses her with intent. It grows more urgent, more desperate with each passing of their lips. Their bodies want to speak further on how they feel about the other where their words fall short in their inexperience.

"Alfie." she pants out as his lips press to her cheek. "Make love to me." she requests. Her eyes large and fluttering as they beg him. "I want to be yours forever. This is how I can be. Make love to me and no matter what happens I'll always be yours." she rushes out, crashing her lips into his.

He usually had a retort, a question to her motivations that he wanted to ease his own mind about. But he knew she meant it. He knew she was right. And he did want to make her his. He hadn't thought of marrying her, but they had also been loving in denial for some time together. They didn't want to think about who they were when they were apart, they only wanted to be Alfie and Lucy, with no pasts or families, no obligations or expectations of them. Just two humans in the rush of young love that you don't forget no matter how much time passes. The one you look back on and wonder what happened to them, all the what if's you have with the wisdom of age and hindsight. They wanted to be that for each other and he wanted to make her his in whatever way he could. So he responded to her pleading voice with enthusiasm as he pulled her into the bedroom.

Her head was rushed, feeling lightheaded and too many emotions at once as their faces pressed together, both afraid of what would come tomorrow, but wanting to forget about it all tonight. Although they'd had wandering hands ever since their night alone, she thought their first time would be different. Certainly not under the circumstances it was happening, and with a hope for a future instead of what they were facing. But as she's learning, life isn't like what you envision it to be and you should just work with what you have in front of you at the moment and hope for the best. So that's what she did. She was learning more than one lesson the hard way tonight. Becoming a woman was always just a phrase before and she thought sex might do that for her, but it was apparent now that that was not what being a woman meant.

Their hands move fast, buttons fumbled over as they knock into one another as they take off their clothes. A quick yank down on the covers on the bed, she throws herself onto him, feverish kisses with no grace are shared. There were no flowers, no romantic build up, and proposal of marriage to be had. Just a raw and defining moment between two people who didn't want to let go. The desperation was mutual, he'd found someone who saw him as something more, who didn't label him or judge him. She'd found someone with a sound mind, kind heart and strong hands. Everything she ever wanted. So they held onto each other like they were going to be ripped from each other's arms, because they were.

Her sounds break his heart, in the frenzy of skin to skin he tries to commit them to memory despite how they were more whines and whimpers than moans. He moves his lips from her mouth as she gasps for breath, running a hand through her hair which was growing damp with sweat. She shuts her eyes, pretending they were somewhere else together, her hands through his short cropped hair as his kisses move down her body, his hands wrapping around her thighs before pressing sucking kisses to her skin. He wishes he had time to make her beg, to kiss every fold of her, but he makes due with the rushed feeling her trembling hands feed into him. Spreading her lips, taking a moment to notice how she looked up close, pink petals he took into his mouth and found her center, kissing her as she finally began to relax as he worked away at the now swollen bud. He hears her moan, and it's a sweet sound he'll miss. Her light accent, an air of innocence to it somehow still, like she was a little doll kept on a shelf and never touched, in some immaculate townhouse, never having known any pain. He'd wanted to keep her like that as long as he could. He loved her softness, it was something that drew him to her.

Everything that wasn't like him, he loved about her. She softened his edges and made him forget who he was. His life was hard and he had taken that refuge in her for granted. And now he'd be back in the harsh reality with no harbor to come home to heal.

He pushes the thoughts away as he presses his fingers into her. A deep sound from her belly he felt, her tensing muscles, now not afraid or timid to his touch. He goes slowly, steadily, how he planned to use himself in her. He moves from two to three fingers, hearing her breathing gasp and change. A low whine, her back arching and bracing herself.

"Relax, love." he says in a deep, soothing voice. "It'll be easier on ya if ya can." he nods, going back to sucking on her clit, more gentle pressure from his fingers, wondering how he would fare inside her.

"Alfie. Just give me your cock," she whines. His eyes shoot up to her at the use of the word. Every time something dirty came out of her mouth his ears perked up like the words sounded so foreign coming from her sweet mouth. "Please. I want you. If it hurts, it hurts, I don't care anymore." she begs, her hands moving down to take the sides of his face and pull it towards her.

He gives in to her wishes, wiping his mouth before she pulls him into a deliberate, deeper kiss. She'd slowed down a bit, her heart racing but her lips slower. They had hours to be together. She wanted him as much as she could before she left. She wanted to be his in the only way she knew how to be now. He crawls up her body, aligning their hips, with one arm rested by her head to hold himself up. Her hands wandering down his torso, feeling every hill and valley of his strong body as it tensed above her. Her delicate hands tug at him, feeling him respond to her, a breathy exhale across her lips as his eyes go dark. He takes her hands from him, putting them around to his back as he pushes against her, her thrust back knees allowing him to slide against her wetness, give him a chance to figure out his angles before he committed to one. He finally picks a position, breaking their kiss and reaching to pump himself, spreading the slick across his before aiming.

"You tell me what you need, right Lucy?" he says, grazing his nose against hers. "Slow, fast, stop, anyfing just..." she sees his hesitancy to hurt her. Not wanting to leave her with the memory of pain from their time together. Her mind couldn't have been farther away from the thought.

"Just do it Alfie." she smiles, one hand pushing back his hair as it fell onto his forehead. "I promise I'll tell you." her gentle words ease him forward, the final go-ahead he needed from her.

He begins to push and he's grateful he can make progress immediately, notching inside her, eyes watching him enter her before returning to her face. When his eyes shift back up, he finds a lusty angel laying beneath him. Her hands still against his back as he puts his chest to hers. He takes her kiss-swollen lips being parted and stammering as a compliment, reaching down to connect their gaze by holding her cheek for a moment. The room falls quiet, tiny gasps and mewls as her lips push together, her body responding, tensing around him, causing him to fight to keep his eyes open as he slowly sinks into her, watching every movement of her face. A big exhale from both as their bodies rest against each other, her eyelashes fluttering before lifting back up to his, taking her hands to hold his face and kiss him.

"Move, love." she whispers against his lips, a small nip before he gives in to an intense kiss, trying to connect themselves fully. A slow drag, only a minor wince from her. On the second push in, a deeper exhale from her, a shifting of her shoulders as the pace he set started to feel better and better the more he did it. Soft yes's into his ears as he kisses her neck, finding a pace that suited them both so neither were overwhelmed. "It's..." she begins, a loud gulp that makes him rise to take in her face, expecting a rebuttal but he finds her so soft and strung out his shoulders hunch at the sight of her. "You feel so good." she sighs with a tiny smile, eyes looking unfocused and her moans growing.

"You feel even better." he rasps into her mouth, a moan as they connect into another kiss. He holds her thigh, shifting his weight up, a slightly different angle that she responds to loudly.

"Oh my." she pants, cheeks flushed and rosy, a thin sheen of sweat glistening over them both as they began to move together.

Her small noises, the way her hands would grasp at his back like she needed more, he knew he wouldn't give her what he wanted before he found his end first. She was too tight, his heart overwhelming him in the moment with her. So he reaches between them, nimble fingers find her clit easily, giving her a boost and she gasps loudly, eyes finally rolling back and closing, head knocking back, allowing him to kiss her neck and chest, giving him the chance to go faster, harder.

"Yes, that's it." she moans, nodding and biting her lip, her back arching, pressing her against him. "Oh my god Alfie." she whines, her legs opening wider, taking more of him. "Yes." she nods again, her head shooting down towards him and whimpers for him. Their lips meet fiercely, her fingers digging into his back to hold him to her, clutching as she felt herself drawing to that still new conclusion that she hadn't stopped thinking about since he first gave it to her.

"Are you close, love?" he grunts out, praying she would give him a yes, as he wasn't sure how much he could take, the waves of pleasure causing her to throb around him and in his not yet fully formed sexual prowess, he couldn't hold off much longer.

"Yes. Yes Alfie." she nods and bites his lip, giving herself over to it, letting everything else fall away as she wraps her legs around him. "More, please. Harder." she pants out. He pushing down with his knees and bucks into her feeling her body shudder, her thighs tightening around him as he decides to give over, pressing his forehead to hers as her mouth fell open with praise and moans.

"Fuck love, I'm gonna..." he grunts out, his face pained, his head shaking back and forth.

"Do it." she nods against him. "I'm so bloody close." she lets out a wanton moan.

Once again, he gives her what she asks. He does what his body is telling him to, harder, faster, finish it off. She tightens her grip, locking her arms and legs around him, pulling him against her fully, his arms both on the bed as he pumped into her and she got to hear him right against her ear. A beautifully pained sound she hadn't heard before. With a deep grunt he let's go, pressing against her, giving her the final kick of feeling she needed. The sounds they spilled out into the room weren't like that of what she'd heard from her friend. They were deeper, softer, more desperate. No dirty words shared, just the slap of skin to skin that she knew meant she was getting what she needed.

It washes over her, a feeling of being shaken, electricity through her limbs, her face screwing up as deep grunts escaped her she'd never heard before. Having already finished, but being young he keeps going as long as he can, trying to give her everything. He whines at the sensitivity, her squeezing so tightly around him. Something he'd never felt before her. Her grunts turn to light moans, feeling her finally loosen her grip on him.

They lay still and entangled, his face pressed next to her hers. She felt a sense of calm, of peace for a fleeting moment with him in the afterglow. She closes her eyes and pretends they're somewhere else, another time perhaps when things weren't so confusing, when they were older and more established, having been through these growing pains already.

"Can I stay with you tonight? Here? Can we stay like this?" she whispers, not opening her eyes, unwilling to leave the fantasy behind.

"Stay as long as you like." he answers softly, kissing her cheek. "We can stay just like this if that's what you want." he offers, now resting his head on her chest, listening to her heart and her breathing, smelling the mixture of expensive perfume and sweat from her.

"Yes. For now. Just... stay like this. On me... in me, like this." her voice is barely audible, her fingers now in his hair, lazy strokes that make his eyelids feel heavy. "I do want to do that again before I leave." she smiles, eyes still closed, feeling him smile against her skin.

"I'll do it as many times I can for ya love." he plants a kiss to her sternum.

Her mind wanders. Blissful from orgasm and holding a boy she loved in her arms, her mind drifts to better thoughts, forgetting they were spending what was most likely their last night together. "I love you Alfie." she leans to kiss his head. "No matter what happens." she shakes her head slowly.

"And I love you, Lucy. No matter what happens." he promises to her in the dark.

The future felt so infinite and empty at that moment for them. They knew they'd live, but being young and in love was something that was rather life ending in a way when it happens for the first time. When you come across that heartbreak, having to keep going through the pain of it, part of you does die. But another version of yourself, another life is born from it. A new set of eyes to see the world with, a new outlook without the rose-colored glasses young love afforded. They did long to be someone else and they'd found that in each other. But now facing losing the person they had been able to pretend with, they were both left in the cold. The harsh reality of having to find out how to make themselves who they wanted to be alone lie before them now.

----- "I don’t know when I’m going to be able to see you again.” She whispered her fingertips light on his clean-shaven face, his eyelashes casting shadows over his cheeks as his lips twitched.

“I know.” He whispers back solemnly, a nod against her forehead.

“She might lock me away.” She gulps, not wanting to separate from him. “She said she was going to arrange a marriage.” A tear falls down her cheek and her lips tremble and a sob breaks out.

“Shhh shhhh.” He pulls her close, holding her head as she beginning to sob into his jacket. “I’m sorry Lucy. I am really am. There’s nothing I can do. Your family... “ he begins, knowing her world was different from his, knowing a scrappy lad like him wouldn’t be able to ever be good enough for her in their eyes.

She nods and wipes her face. “I know. You’re right.” she takes a deep breath. “They’d never allow it.” She returns her gaze to his face lit beautifully by the street lamp. “I’ll be forever sorry it ended like this.” Her voice was so full of misery. “No matter what does happen, know I did love you. I know I’ll think of you often. And fondly." She gives him a smile that he knows is a shield but he accepts it anyway.

"You'll be with me in some way always, Lucy. I can't give you the life that you deserve, the one that your family has, the one they want for you but..." he shakes his head and she sees the heartbreak and defeat that lie there. “I love you Lucy. I wish I was a better man to-“

“You’re the best man, Alfie. Don’t let anyone tell you any differently. To me you’re more than enough. I'd rather have you than anything some strangers money could give me.”

“I’ll miss you Lucy. I’ll miss everything about you, love.”

“Promise you won’t forget me?” she asks with a sad sob that escapes, a smile still forced to her face.

“Never.” He whispers. “You don’t forget someone when they made me feel like you did.”

———

Her mother kept her word. Within the month, after being kept under close watch in her home a marriage was arranged. A family within the same means of her own, not from the same school she’d went to but he had the same air to him as the posh lads she knew.

She was thrown quickly into a world she didn’t want to be a part of. She missed beer and pubs and fights. The company of people who were unapologetically themselves. Patching him up after his fights and conversations on the poorly made roof of Jacks dusty flat. Now she was dressed in gowns and had to speak with etiquette, be touched by a boy who had never been in a fight before, who had no passion. Someone that didn’t know what struggle was and it was plain to see in his actions. She cried on her wedding day. She found out this was commonplace and received no sympathy for it. These realizations that came with her moving into adult life only made her miss her days spent in the east end more. It had only been months, but that version of herself already felt a lifetime away.

They were married in the summer. A hot day with a stuffy dress full of fake smiles and thanks. Her wedding night was unceremonious. More business transaction than personal.

She didn’t get to settle in fully to married life with this man. For the war came and before she knew it he was gone. Everyone was gone it seemed. Jack had gone, Alfie had gone. All her schoolmates. Just gone. The next years were long and lonely. A great span of time with other wifes left behind, then time spent with the war widows, later on, the two groups much the same by the war's end. She felt guilty for not grieving more. But she’d barely known the man.

She had gone to school and went to work after that. With a house and money that was in her name, she grew bored quickly alone. She missed being out in the world, missed interacting with real people. She wanted to have her own life and she’d been given that opportunity. She knew she needed to move forward.

One unassuming spring afternoon she’s out at the market, basket in hand and picking out food for tea. With the day free she planned on spending it cooking, then perhaps curl up with her pastries and a good book by the fire. She’s busy perusing a cart of apples and paying no mind to anything around her. Inside her own head was where she lived the most after all.

Alfie heard about Lucy through Marnie. The marriage, the house, the money. He was told she was miserable, but he hoped she could find solace in the comfort those things could provide. He couldn’t give them to her after all. And she deserved it.

He channeled that hurt into his fighting. He beat every opponent, working his way up and becoming focused. He was set to move up to real fights anytime. With real boxers and real audiences with real money. He was on the brink of something, making something of himself, he could feel it.

But then the war came. The fever that was sparked from it swept up everyone he knew, the poor going off with either hope of a better life after for serving or some left with a sense of patriotism. He enlisted because there was no more boxing for him with everyone gone. The young lads, the promoters who were still of age, everyone started leaving. He thought he’d give it a shot, best go in by choice and accept it then be pulled into it by force later.

The war changed him. As was the nature of it. Perhaps his education and his familiarity with fighting and violence led him to make it though. Although with being a Captain it certainly felt like he was a fraud at times. Little east end tosser like him a Captain. That’s how bad it’d gotten. But it did end. And with a title, a new outlook on what his life would be now. With old hopes abandoned and new goals now set, he knew he could use what he learned in the war to his advantage. And that’s exactly what he did. He didn’t want to be one of the men he saw who were shells in themselves after. Some mad as hatters, not able to leave the war behind.So he settled back into London, and with his old schoolmate Darby, another fellow child of immigrants, he began a new business venture.

He stomps out of the building towards the town car that waited in the street for him. His shoulders now broader, his face covered in a beard, now with hair that was far overgrown what it had been before the war. Hidden under a bulking coat and hat he stopped to lay out instructions to one of his employees before departing. Growing annoyed with the lad's thickness, he stands and sighs, eyes rolling and lips pursed in a clear display of dissatisfaction.

“What the fuck is wrong with ya? I could go get anyone else in this whole fuckin market, yeah? And they’d be better at following simple fuckin instructions than you.” His hand lifted and motioning to the crowd. “Fuckin any one of these wankers out here.” He gruffs as his eyes follow the path of his hand to make a connection to someone he saw, use his cleverness to make the boy feel bad. But instead, he paused. The boy watches his bosses face go slack, his arm slowly falling back to his side.

“Sir?” The boy asks, looking in the same direction and finding nothing of interest.

But she’d caught his eye. Just like she had all those years ago. Her in the middle of a crowd and his eyes drawn to her like there was no one else. She'd changed just the same as him. Taller, darker hair fell to her shoulders as her dress fluttered about her calves as she walked.

“Get in the car lad.” He says, watching her walk through the booths of fruit.

“Sir?”

He returns his eyes to the boy. Annoyed he had to look away. “I said get in the fuckin car ya daft child. I’ll be back. Sit here and don’t fuckin go anywhere. Don’t speak to no one. Lest they know what a bellend you are.” He says, beginning to cross the street, shoving the boy out of the way.

The closer he gets, the more certain he was that it was his Lucy. Well, not his Lucy anymore. She was grown now, the same as him. He trails her for a bit, seeing no one approach her. No man, no children. He sees no ring on her dainty finger and he tries not to become hopeful.

He decides to close in. He stands next to her, not noticing him as she’s away in her thoughts as she would get sometimes. He sees her face set indifferently, she fingers through her pocketbook to pay. But he interjects.

“I’ll pay for the lady.” He says, handing the money over to the man behind the stand. “And she’ll take some of them berries too.” He adds, her eyes full of surprise at first for a strangers kindness, then he watched her face shift. A polite smile to recognition with wide eyes. “That is if she still likes em like she used to.” He gives her a nod.

Her mouth stutters for a moment before forming his name. “Alfie?” She says in disbelief. She hadn’t even known if he’d survived the war. Let alone come back to London. He was like a ghost appearing out of nowhere. Her heart raced and her hand rose to her chest.

“Lucy.” He nods and the grin he gives her makes her lashes flutter with its charm. His eyes were the same. His face now covered and he stood taller, an air of importance to him now, his clothes old fashioned but well made and clean. His voice was deeper and rougher but those plush lips still sat across those slightly wonky teeth just the same.

“Oh, my word.” She whispers. “You? You?” She doesn’t know what to ask or say first. So much comes flooding back.

“Me, me. Yeah, love.” He laughs, taking the produce and handing it to her. He feels an inkling of hope when she takes it from him and doesn’t move her eyes from his.

“I didn’t know you were back.” She begins with. "Or even alive." she adds with a whisper.

“I am.” He nods. “I saw ya when I's leaving a meetin' and I thought there’s no way that’s little Lucy.”

“Not so little now.” She gives an awestruck smile.

“Ya got a minute to talk?” He inquires, holding his arm out to her to take.

“Yes!” She says fast with a quick nod. More reason to feel hopeful. She takes his arm as they walk aimlessly, she can’t take her eyes off him. “How are you?” She asks first.

“Oh, I’m fine.” He dismisses. “Always workin' it seems. More importantly, how are you love?”

“I’m... I'm fine. Had the day off and thought I’d come out to buy some things to bake.”

“Oh ya baking now?”

“Only as a hobby. I’m actually a secretary in town now.”

“Ya workin?” He asks clearly surprised. He expected her to be a kept woman.

“Yes. I grew tired of sitting alone in the house.”

“Alone?”

“Yes. I... well, I’m just another war widow now I’m afraid. So I support myself.”

“My condolences love.” He gives her a polite nod.

She stops and narrows her eyes at him for a moment. “You should know they aren’t needed.”

The weight of her words hits him. There was hope. A bloom bursting inside him he had been avoiding. “Well, what of the little ones? You have your own army of nanny’s to take care of them?”

“I don’t have any children.” She answers simply. "My husband left for the war shortly after we were married."

No husband, no children and working for herself and living alone was exactly the opposite of how he’d expected to find her. If he ever did.

“What about you?” She asks timidly, afraid of his response.

“Same as you it would seem.” He gives her a slow nod.

"You're a war widow?" she asks with an inkling of humor that makes a broad smile grow across his face. Bless her, she still had her cleverness.

He looks away, a groan of a sound at her cheeky response before returning his eyes to hers, finding them beaming at him. "Ahhhh. Not that no." he shakes his head and lets out a breathy laugh. "Never married. War 'n all." he gives a stern nod.

There’s silence for a moment. Both thinking the same thing but not knowing how to say it.

“Would you like to get some tea sometime Alfie?” She asks. His stomach tightens. What a forward little bird she’d become.

“I would. But how would dinner sound instead?” He leans closer.

“Like a real date?” She smirks. He was so relieved to find her sense of humor still intact. The same quirky and judgmental glance he remembered.

“Would ya like it to be?”

“I’ll say yes if it is.” A wide smile spreads across her face.

“Then it is indeed a date, love. You have the day off ya said? Would it be too forward of me to suggest tonight?”

“It would not.” She says softly. “I believe we have some time to make up for.” She says with a cheeky smile.

“I do hope so, Lucy.”

“You don’t have to hope Alfie.” She gives him the same adoring smile from years ago, moving to take his hand into hers. “We most certainly do.”

@fangirlfreakingout @jaegeeeeer @cosettewinchester @lookuptheskyisfalling-blog @brianaisasongbird @cry5t4l-w4rri0r @iliveonchocolateandnetflix @jess2464 @hardygal69 @thegarrisonpublichouse @a-flock-of-angry-pigeons @pootle @negansdirtygirl22 @musingsby-night @wtf-is-wrong-with-this@shine-dont-shadow @vale0413 @lafayettes-baguettes-1 @sxlomons @aphnxrising @emerald-bijou @elaenom @give-jack-a-lightsaber @anrm1 @ultrablackwidower @tinastarkandco @arrowswithwifi @marvelgirl7 @they-are-not-just-stories @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes

I just tagged everyone who is tagged in my other Alfie fic, Choking On Sapphires.