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tracelessrp · 3 years

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YONA GREENSPAN is a 21 year old FEMALE WEREWOLF, who looks a lot like SARA WAISGLASS. YONA spends time at Traceless because HER PACK IS THERE AND SHE LOVES OPEN MIC NIGHTS AT THE CAFE. SHE is known for BEING AN EXCITABLE WEREWOLF AND BANGING OUT THE TUNES.

Hometown: Nyack, New York Current Residence: Traceless Special Abilities: Yona is a werewolf, and fairly standard as it comes to abilities. Even when not shifted, she is faster and stronger than she looks, and has particularly good stamina. She has relatively good control over her shifts, and only starts to wolf out when she is really excited.

It does not seem like she has any other special abilities due to being a werewolf. However, she is moderately convinced that if she keeps trying to test out various powers, she will find another one out. She has a list of options that she has eliminated.

Apart from the supernatural stuff, Yona enjoys and has an ear for music. Her aunt and uncle put her into piano lessons when she was little, and she spent a lot of time practicing. She can pick up a guitar and get some chords down, but she doesn’t really like it as much as keys and singing. It can be difficult to get her to stop singing, and she isn’t very quiet about it.

Character Background:

tw: death, death of a mother, neglect of child

Arielle Greenspan had a one night stand after a night out with a friend of an acquaintance, and promptly put it out of mind until she realized that she was pregnant two months later. Arielle decided having a baby would be a great idea, and proceeded to get fully into baby fever. Playing it by ear, Arielle had her little girl, and shifted most of her work to home. Arielle’s younger brother Joey, completely bewildered by the concept of children, asked bluntly if the dad was in the picture. The answer was no, and Joey did not get much more information out of his sister than that.

As for the child, she had a pleasant early childhood. While Yona would color within the lines, she had an odd way of doing it. Yona wasn’t stupid, but she never had the finest grasp on common sense. She was an affectionate, exuberant little girl who she loved following her mom around, leading her Uncle Joey to call her a duckling. Joey enjoyed being the fun uncle, but he had never imagined that he would need to be anything more than that. ‘Godfather’ was supposed to just be a formality- a title to say that you wanted to be there in the kid’s life, right? He never seriously considered that he would have to lose his older sister so soon.

Joey had literally just gotten married three months ago, and had been looking forward to child-free adventures with his wife Genevieve for the foreseeable future. And now he had to worry about a kid who couldn’t be trusted not to put a fork in the electrical outlet? He seriously considered what would happen if he put up his six year old niece for adoption, but after Arielle’s funeral, Yona pouted and wouldn’t let go of his hand for two hours, so he had to keep her. Surely he could still get to go on his adventures as long as he found a good babysitter.

Yona’s childhood and adolescence were a little odd. She was always left under the care of somebody when Joey and Gen got the traveling itch, but those were often eccentric friends that were clueless about what to do with a kid. Sometimes her aunt and uncle brought her along on their adventures, and she was left to roam around European cities untethered. Joey and Gen read exactly zero parenting resources, and they were proud of it. Most nine year olds don’t receive a vibrator for their birthday without explanation, for example.

As sex-positive an environment as the Greenspan home was, Yona was left to the mercy of the American sex education program for any actual guidance. Twelve year old Yona, brimming with questions, asked the teacher if it was normal for girls going through puberty to “grow hair in weird places, feel really emotional all of a sudden, and have your body start to change?” After vehement reassurance that of course this was normal along with some arcane-looking diagrams of the human body, it took Yona three months to realize that it was in fact not normal to change into an entire wolf once a month. Her uncle and aunt agreed that this was very weird, but Gen had always been really into learning about the paranormal and mythology in general. After taking Yona to several obviously fake psychics and to meet up with some guy on Craigslist that sincerely believed that he was a werewolf but definitely wasn’t, Gen had almost given up hope.

On a trip when she was thirteen, Yona started talking randomly to a lady in a pie shop (she loved chatting with strangers and her aunt and uncle rarely stopped her).. and the woman happened to be another werewolf. Since werewolves had a good sense of smell in identifying their own kind and other supernatural species, the stranger lady asked Yona some tentative questions. Latching immediately onto this random woman she had just met (she said her name was HJ), she had a very informational and oddly calming conversation. Only after sharing more information than you should probably share with an adult stranger and promises from HJ for help finding a pack in New York agreed to join her very first pack did she grab her Aunt Gen. Unfortunately, HJ didn’t live in New York, so Yona had to join a pack with a whole bunch of strangers instead of her chill new adult friend. And the new pack was pretty nice. Yona thought that being part of a pack was way better than having to deal with the painful shifts on her own in the backyard.

Getting to join her own secret grown-up pack prompted Yona to start acting out more. She stayed out late, threw parties at the house when her aunt and uncle weren’t home, and pulled some truly epic pranks. The weirdest part was that Joey and Gen didn’t seem to notice or care. She would skip school sometimes and nobody at home would even mention it. All she wanted was to be noticed. She played up how much alcohol and drugs she was doing (basically nothing), and her aunt and uncle completely ignored it. She tried sleeping with some okay boy at her school when she was sixteen, but felt gross afterward and decided for once maybe she didn’t want every speck of attention she could get. She had been planning on telling her aunt matter-of-factly about that, but decided to keep at least that much to herself. It took Yona a full year to figure out that oh, she was interested in girls instead. Something about telling a pretty girl that she painfully turned into a big gray wolf every month made her feel insecure. It didn’t help that Yona found herself absolutely infatuated with just about every woman she met. Some crushes were deeper than others, but her feelings always felt real, exciting, and devastatingly painful. From her perspective, love was both brutal and amazing, and she wanted nothing more than to find it- even if it hurt. Still, it took Yona another year to admit out loud that she was gay (so gay), and desperate. What really pissed her off was when she came out to her uncle and aunt, only for Joey to reply with a casual, “Yeah, we’ve known since you were twelve.” Well it would have helped if someone had given her a hint!

Yona moved out of her aunt and uncle’s as soon as she had her high school diploma under her belt, and tried to figure out what she wanted to do with herself. Apparently, her mom had been on track to be some sort of superstar consultant. Most of the estate was funneled into a trust set up for Yona. Uncle Joey had told her he couldn’t figure out how any of that money stuff worked, and had done what the financial advisor guy who was in charge of the trust told him to do with the money. Yona didn’t feel like a trust fund baby or anything, but it was nice to know that even if she messed up, her mom had wanted to make sure she was okay. A lot of the time, Yona wondered if her mom would have been proud of her.

After moving out, Yona left her New York pack on good terms, and bought a motorcycle. Her aunt had shown her how to ride (it had only led to two near-wrecks), and this seemed more cinematic than buying a junker car that stood a chance of breaking down to drive across the country. She had been accepted at a couple of colleges (she’d kept her grades up well enough in spite of everything), but did not feel strongly about going to school when she felt weirdly stuck. Her aunt and uncle had never felt like parents, and she fantasized about discovering herself out west. Riding across the country (and getting hella lost in South Dakota… how was she supposed to keep the two Dakotas straight?) was a formative experience. It was a good thing that she had werewolf strength and instincts because Yona did not get any less naïve through this experience.

Eventually, she wound up in Seattle, which Yona thought was a bit like New York through a puddle. She didn’t really know if she even liked Seattle (mostly she just didn’t get it), but she did learn that there was a super cool-seeming café that catered to people like her. Or, well, werewolves plus a whole bunch of other species that Yona had not given a thought further than “they exist” to. For some reason, the café people wouldn’t let her bring her motorcycle into the shop so that she could have it on the other side of… well, wherever she wanted to take it. Anyway, Yona decided that she liked Traceless pretty well, and also really liked the idea of getting in on those open mic nights. Traceless was a lot better than trying to get lost somewhere even more frustrating than the Dakotas, so she stuck around. She enrolled in college, and half by-accident joined a new pack. It was great! She got to see HJ again and actually be in a pack with her. A lot of the Bonfire Pack lived in a cluster of houses in Traceless, and Yona enthusiastically moved in one with HJ. To anyone that asked, HJ was her aunt, but they were also not related in any way. Her new pack was a lot more dysfunctional and much less organized than her first pack, but Yona liked it better that way. After about four years in Traceless, she was one term away from graduating in the fall term, and not sure what she planned to do with herself apart from pitching in around the pack’s camp.

(ooc: lisa, 29, she/her, pacific)

#species: werewolf #death tw #death of mother tw #child abuse tw

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timcbombs · 5 years

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✕ — wasn’t that tabitha smith wandering the streets of new york, 1973? civilians know them as boom-boom and see them as a hero. as far as i know, the twenty-four year old stands with x-force, x-factor, & new mutants, and are rumoured to be pretty self-assured & recalcitrant. ( liz gillies / transfemale / she/her )

{ trigger warnings : emotional, physical, and sexual assault, alcohol, homophobia, transphobia }

hey guys, sophia’s at it again lmao!! here’s more about my second baby aka my trash!baby under the cut

PT. 1: INTRODUCTORY INFORMATION //

tabby doesnt really have any appearances outside of the mceu except for a handful of cartoon appearances

so this rendition of her is gonna be entirely comic based

PT. 2: FROM TIME-BOMB TO BOOMER TO MELTDOWN TO BOOM-BOOM //

okay so. tabby was an only child, raised in a trailer park in roanoke. her mom was never really in the picture and her dad was an abusive alcoholic nut job. tabby never got an actual education. she was emotionally neglected & abused, as well as physically abused for her entire childhood.

the abuse only got worse when tabby’s mutation (and gender & sexuality, see below) came into question. her father beat tabby so hard that she ran away at around 13-14.

she started a long ass journey trying to figure out how the fuck to live in a world where she couldn’t really read & understand, but somehow make it to xaviers school for the gifted (someone in the trailer park had mentioned it to her and she decided it’d become her salvation)

a train she was taking en route to washington dc was attacked by the beyonder. the beyonder ended up considering tabby its only friend and felt bad for this young, frightened, abused girl and brought her to xavier’s. however because the beyonder is a powerful cosmic entity the x-men attacked it on spot and tabby, frightened and bewildered, left with the beyonder back to its home planet. she stayed there with him for a little while before realizing it was an evil entity hellbent on the destruction of worlds, and demanded she be returned to the xmen. she led the beyonder into an ambush and the beyonder, heartbroken about the loss of its only friend, willingly surrendered

that was tabby’s introduction to the x-men. because of how it all went down, she left the x-men for a little while and moved to LA. she joined a gang called the fallen angels where she learnt how to steal (amongst other things). she began to be sexually harassed and was sexually taken advantage of during her time with this gang, particularly by the gang’s male mutant leader, who’d enlisted her, and so she told the x-factor about the gangs presence

tabitha then witnessed the children of the x-factor being kidnapped by soldiers of The Right and stowed away on the ship to save them — where she befriended Rictor

the ship crashed when apocalypse was defeated and she lived on apocalypse’s ship for a while

when the x-men found her, tabby was forced to attend phillips academy in new hamsphire, where she was bullied by the other kids for being a mutant. she allied with the other mutants at the school and formed a group called the x-terminators, where she got hella involved with a bunch of demon & limbo & illyana bullshit when some of the mutants were kidanpped and being used as a portal into limbo

even though tabby had helped save the world, her school expelled her for being involved in the entire ordeal, and she then joined the new mutants, accidentally summoned a giant sea monster (like an idiot) and went to live wth some dwarves on asgard

she then joined x-force and changed her alias to boomer

she joined an underground paramilitary group and was bombed by a vibranium bomb, but survived. my trash queen

she was then invited by Cable, as meltdown, to join his group Underground to investigate the new weapon x program

she then joined next wave, as boom-boom, where she learned she’s immune to mind control

she was then kidnapped by anti-mutant extremists and personally held hostage by the leper queen. the leper queen decided to take her wrath out towards the x-men on tabby and shot her in the head (consequently she was then saved by otherwise certain death by one laura kinney)

she then teams up w/ domino to infiltrate sword because fuck the government, i guess

she went to live on utopia and stayed after it was destroyed, before finally settling at the xavier school and becoming a full-fledged x-man.

PT. 3: TABBY’S PERSONALITY & RELATED HEADCANONS //

she’s literally a disaster gay. that’s about it. she’s a chaotic babe who loves to throw herself into stupid situations. she loves to party, get smashed, has a ton of super famous hollywood friends who invite her out to parties all the time. she gets shitfaced with them and gets in a lot of trouble with them

i also write tabby as transfemale. and i imagine that was also a big contributing factor to the strain between herself and her parents, as well as a motivating factor to joining the gang she did. she needed money for the transition and for hormones.

shes super dumb bookwise but very streetsmart. it’d be dumb to underestimate her because she perceives things in such a unique way and it always ends up int he benefit of the team

that said she can be a lazy shit sometimes, motivation is not her forte

shes got a ton of trauma she’s never willing to address ever (and more she never talks about from her party days)

shes the kind of girl though who’ll blast music at 4am — despite everyone else being asleep. she’s got absolutely no manners, and has a long history of playing pranks on the x-men (via literally bombing them with her powers) if they don’t listen to her/undermine her/ neglect her. basically. don’t get on her bad side.

she just wants to be that fun friend everyone can go to for a good time, she doesn’t like to drag people down with her own issues. anyways shes a chaotic bisexual with the mouth of a trucker who deserves the world & u can’t change my mind

— so thats about it for my trash baby!! shes been involved with a hella lot of teams and is always open for all the connections! pls luv her! <3

#73:intro #「 about. 」#﹠⋅ 。💣 ꜰᴀᴄᴇꜱᴘᴀᴄᴇ ᴘʀᴏꜰɪʟᴇ. ⋮「 ── well ‚ that didn’t work: an autobiography. 」

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speckeh · 5 years

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My 2019 Garbage Book Dump

It’s 2019! I’m tired, I’m hella gay, and I’m still reading books as much as I can with my busy life! Enjoy this book list with reviews!

1. Thunderball: 5/5 stars. Mormon jokes. Making fun of dietary changes? A young Italian woman (girl) who controls the island with her beauty. It becomes a mission against nuclear threats against the Europe and the US? Not exactly the MOST thrilling James Bond book, but I had a lot of fun reading it. I’m glad this was my first read of the year!

2. The Lydia Steptoe Stories - Faber Stories: 4/5 stars. I found these short, tiny books in a local bookstore. There were 6 of them on the table and I bought three. Sometimes I wish I bought all of them, but not all of them spoke to me. The Lydia collection was interesting as it held three stories with: a young man being “seduced” by his aunt, a young girl wanting to be a dominatrix, and a woman who wishes she could be youthful again. While I didn’t find the stories awe-inspiring, I did find them extremely entertaining and nice to think about.

3. Emma Cozy Classics: 5/5 stars. I have the pride and prejudice one. While it might not be as fabulous as a full book, but the pain-staking skill of felt art is entirely impressive. It went on my Jane Austen book shelf.

4. Come Rain or Shine - Faber Stories: 3/5 stars. What would you do if your friends thought you were absolutely insane and their lives are falling apart worse than yours? What would you do if your friend asks you to play absolutely stupid to his wife to make him look better and for her to realize her life isn’t so bad that she got lucky enough to not marry you? I for one, would drop these fucking friends and never look back. The story was a fucking train wreck and absolutely insane to the point where it wasn’t even humorous to me. Several authors state it’s Ishiguro’s step into comical writing and I wish he wouldn’t.

5. Passionate Minds - Women Rewriting the World: 1/5 stars. I found this book at my Uni’s free bookshelf. I was super excited to read this book but it’s one of the dullest and full of biases book I’ve had the displeasure of picking up. I got to read about my girl Gertrude Stein but I was expecting more female writers, not actors who the writer obvious gets off on. There’s nothing wrong with that, and this book has rave reviews, I just couldn’t stand the writing style and obvious fawning she had (and not in the academic/historically reserved way authors should be).

6. Wandering Island Vol. 2: 4/5 stars. It’s been two years since the first volume came out. I found myself reading it in record time which has me both disappointed and a bit confused (not because I read it fast, but because of the strange editorial ending). The art is impeccable with a few questionable “obviously a man drew this” moment, the story has kind of been a bit muddled up and didn’t necessarily go anywhere this volume. It felt more of a build up for Volume 3 which I don’t know when will be released. The editor wrote this strange 6 page essay that started off they were going to postpone Wandering Island 3, then went on a long rant about how the manga editing world has changed with ^-^ faces all throughout, only to then write fan theories of where they think the story is going to finish with: “We’ll translate the pages as soon as they come out! ^-^” what the fuck?? Haha

7. Fun Home - A Family Tragicomic. 5/5 stars. I bought this book today and I finished it this evening. I’m still processing everything that happened but one thing I know for sure is that I found one of my top 5 books of 2019 as well as a new favorite already. Alison approaches a hard topic of coming out, learning about her father’s secret life of being bisexual, and coming to terms with the strange person with anger issues that was her father. While my father wasn’t gay, there were several elements of her father I saw in my own. The volatile anger, learning more about his life after his death, hearing shattering truths from your mom, the regret of not having conversations sooner and him not seeing who you truly are before their passing. It struck a chord with me and I’m going to be thinking about this comic book I feel like for two months.

8. The Real McCoy: 4/5 stars. This is like a small wikipedia pamphlet book about the famous names, phrases, or lyrics you might know. I wasn’t necessarily impressed with the booklet, but I found some of it entertaining. I gave it a high rating because it served its purpose but I’m totally gifting it to a friend who loves random facts.

9. The Heart Affirming: 5/5 Stars. Epic poems about the Greek Gods, the universal feeling of appreciating nature, the wondering of the cruelty of humanity. This is a rare find of a poetry book not popular and one I found at my local library book sale that was signed by the author. If you have the pleasure to pick up this 1939 poetry book, please do! It’s a treat from the past that shows we still yearn for the same poetic romanticism we did then to now.

10. Bloom: 4.5/5 stars. I’ve realized I’m going to graduate college in the fall and this weird depression hit where I realized my life is really finally going to change forever. So I’m having a mixture of senioritis where I don’t want to do any work when I’m done with school by Wednesday, and I’m having a mid-century life crisis where I don’t know what to do with my life (I mean I do, but it’s terrifying). So I went on a LGTBQ+ splurge on amazon, something i haven’t done in awhile, Bloom was one of those books. Bloom is a fast paced comic about a high school graduate who wants to move out and move on, but his friends are dicks and his parents want him to stay. Welcome the new hot boy whose grandma just died and conveniently loves to bake. Ari wants to leave the bakery and this new hot guy is just his ticket to leave, or is it? I really liked this comic for the art and the story line was refreshing. But there were several instances where the book moves really quickly and the development was… meh. HeartStopper has great, slow pacing that lets you feel like the characters and story moves in a believable way. Bloom is rushed in some parts, but still.. So cute.

11. Spinning: 5/5 Stars. 2/4 of the LGTBQ+ books I ordered have been read! I read this book the day before valentine’s day and I’ve already been in a weird mode/crisis of being a university senior. I, loved this book for all the reasons why people gave it 3 stars. Everyone stated the story didn’t wrap up, that i jumped, that it felt fragments, but if you read the very end the author state not all books should make sense or follow a timeline or be accurate and these followed her own recollection without revisiting anything. I really appreciated and I loved the style. It’s a heavy book with sexual assault, manipulation, child abuse, and a very unhappy protagonist who isn’t likeable. But at the same time, finishing this book I just felt such grief that I didn’t pursue an art career. That I didn’t just join an art program or give my art career a chance. I think when I’m in the end of my career, retirement, I may go to art school again or maybe I’ll splurge money on lessons or maybe I’ll just accept my art as is. Either way, this book made me fiercely jealous of a 21 year old. It reminded me of a famous story of my dad reading a book about astronauts and crying in the bath because he should have been an astronaut, and how this book made me want to cry because in some form I should have been an artist. But like my dad, we’ve both chased careers that really inspired and gave us amazing opportunities. But I think it’s natural to miss over those childhood passions you didn’t follow through with because you felt like you weren’t enough.

12. My Solo Exchange Diary Vol 2. 2.5/5 stars. I read the first volume last year due to prompting from one of my precious friends (Ramona). My loneliness with Lesbianism was AMAZING. I bought it. My Solo Exchange Diary felt like the author was rambling in circles, completely mentally unwell, and had no ideas of how to properly take care of herself. In Volume 2 she was able to search for some help and she was able to deal with some introspective thoughts about how her viewpoint might have been wrong and how she was toxic to herself and her family. Volume 2 still left a taste in my mouth that felt… weird? She’s moving in the right directions but I think she’s desperately trying to follow the hype of her lesbian hit manga and she’s failing due to her wants to surpass herself. I laughed and felt bad as she mentioned how people slammed her for Volume 1, so it felt very meta to read how she reacted because my comment was also criticizing her: read here. But if you’re reading it in a bookstore or a library, do it. It’s nice to see how she’s slowly making progress with herself.

13. Sputnik Sweetheart. 1/5 stars. I picked this up in Brussels in the select few english section because the cover was intriguing and the back cover claimed it was a lesbian story. I was so excited, and imagine my absolutely hatred when I realized a straight cisgender man had written a “lesbian” story through the eyes of a straight male who is lusting after his lesbian best friend. He proclaims he gets boners at looking at her breasts and how her eccentric style only makes her that more beautiful just to him. I hate everything about this book. I wish straight cisgendered men would leave lesbian narrative stories alone unless you’re going to write them right. Get the fuck out of my books.

14. Fortunate Beasts: Letters to Lucardo Vol 2: 5/5 stars. The long waited and anticipated sequel to Letters to Lucardo!!! It’s been two years since I read the first volume, supported it on kickstarters, and I’m going to keep funding each release until the quadiology is complete! This had a lot less background building, exciting sex scenes, but you now understand the two lovers and get to see them develop their budding relationship. While it wasn’t as smut riddled as I expected, I was very happy with the continuation!

15. The little Lame Prince: 2/5 stars. DNF. Did not finish in case for those who don’t know/can’t remember (I hardly remember what DNF stands for myself). I’m torn as I want to eventually finish this book but I’m just not in the mood for it. It’s a sweet story but is very slow and from what I can tell, repeats itself a lot. It’s a old book from the early 1800s which explains the somewhat hard language and problematic moments, but it’s still charming. I’ll debate when I’ll try this again. For now, it’s returning to my shelves with a bookmark in the pages.

16. Shounen Houkokusho. 5/5 stars. A shounen-ai soft, wholesome gay family about a little boy standing up for his dad’s long time partner and asking them to get married. Very sweet. So precious. I love.

17. Same Difference and Other Stories: 4/5 stars. This was a reread from my friend Mark who gifted this to me back in december of 2014. It’s been 5 years since I picked up this book and I decided to see how its changed. As an adult, this comic speaks to me a lot louder than it did nearly half a decade ago. Struggling to find your way through life, seeing all your high school “friends” getting married, having jobs, meanwhile you’re just.. Here. Definitely a story I needed to revisit again in the future and also I still appreciate Mark’s notes he left in here for me!

18. Amazing Women: 101 Lives to Inspire you: 4/5 stars. This was my gift after finally being cut loose from the cancer clinic. I never had to go back there again and so I decided to pick up a momento. This was the book I chose that they offered. I really appreciate how they cover diverse women from all over the world rather than American-centric. They don’t go further than 1826, keping mostly within 200 years which is a bit of a bummer. There were also some choices I felt were questionable, like Zoe Sugg (who had her book ghost written and scams her viewers) and that they didn’t have Alison Bechendel was a huge disappointment. But this book is opinionated as they did have to narrow it down to 101 women, so I’m never going to be happy unless I pick my own. I also appreciated that if a diplomat was assassinated they mentioned it in the book.

19. The Epic of Gilgamesh: 5/5 stars. I learned about the Epic of Gilgamesh back when I was a itty-bitty sophomore in high school. I remember being so intrigued and would draw my gay ass characters as the Harlot and Endurk. I think I still have the drawings somewhere and they’re cringey. I bought the book and it’s been sitting on my shelf for YEARS. I did a deep clean of my bookshelves last night from 11:30 pm - 4:30 am, and this morning I just wanted to read since I haven’t been able to for months. I loved it! I love creation myths, old myths from “lost” cultures, plus the language was hella gay in this story. It’s a short 61 pages, so if you have like an hour or two and are in the mood for some myths baby, pick it up!

20. The Making of Pride and Prejudice: 4/5 stars. This book is chalked full of interviews from staff, actors, photos of the sets, and a bit too long section on the director and writers moaning about a script. I loved the photos of the behind the scenes and reading Colin Firth’s reluctancy to take, arguably, his most iconic role because he didn’t care for classical movies. Thought they were boring. Really a cool book to have if you’re a big Pride and Prejudice 1995 fan.

21. Greek Myths: 2/5 stars. I love the artwork in this book, but the author shows a lack of research when he writes the Roman names for the greek gods. I’m all fine with showing a Roman cultural story, but if you’re writing a Greek Myths story, BITCH use the Greek names!!! If it wasn’t for the artwork, this book would be traaash.

22. Wicked: 5/5 stars. I’ve been in a reading rut for almost a month where I’ve felt unmotivated to do anything. Since going back to brief counseling and getting my head on straight again, I’ve felt the motivation to read. I’m also doing the 2019 OWLS for a Wandmaker and this was one of my assignments. I absolutely loved Wicked. The musical came in last month and it reinvigorated my love for the show. I’ve been wanting to read the book, it’s been haunting me for awhile and I found a back of the Wicked series for 5 dollars at my library sale. Snatched that bitch up. I read this 408 pages in two weeks, probably would have in a week but school. God, I related so much to Elphaba. Not so much the whole, feeling like she has no soul, but taking school seriously and not making friends, coming from a religious family and rebelling, feeling like she’s responsible for her whole family, (not feeling like she’s attractive) and seeing her growth and becoming more comfortable with herself really made me feel better about myself? It’s a super dark book, but it’s great. It’s really great.

23. A Children’s Guide to the Night Sky: 4/5 stars. This was essentially the condensed and easier version of my Stars and Cosmology course I took two years ago!! I sped read this and some of the greek myths they described were dumb down/removed the queerness of it. Which is why I took off a whole star.

24. The Life-Changing Manga of Tidying Up: 5/5 stars. Hello Marie Kondo. Everyone is on a cleaning kick/obsessed with Marie Kondo. I liked this comic because it was short and also made her book in a bite size, story drive style. I liked its simplistic form!

25. Julian is a Mermaid: 5/5 stars. I’ve had my eye on this book for a year, ever since it was announced in Goodreads’ monthly list. I found the last copy and snatched it up. I like the muted colors, the art style, the different bodies, and letting little boys know it’s ok to dress up as mermaids or anything feminized. A great message!!!

26. Kiss Number 8: 5/5 stars. This is one of those random comics I saw in the new releases and the cover caught my eye. I read the first few pages and decided to buy it. I loved it as it’s a coming out story but the main story isn’t revolved around coming out. It’s about the complicated nature of family, coming out through the years, and trans themes. I know some people say this book and the characters are transphobic due to misgendering and dead names used, but the main character is catholic. Her family are mega catholic. She’s going to a catholic school. Of course there’s going to be misgendering and dead names used! It’s how people naturally react to news. If you’re super sensitive, I wouldn’t read this book, but I loved it to bits. I held it to my chest like I do rarely with those books that give you the warm feels.

27. Elephi - The Cat with the High IQ: 5/5 stars. This was a book I grabbed at a close down sale. It’s about Elephi who sees a small fiat car abandoned in the snow outside and decides to use his brains to get the car inside the fifth story apartment. The author really knows how cats act and I felt like all the mannerisms were perfect for a year old cat(kitten). Really a cute book that I read in 40 minutes??

28. One Happy Tiger: 4/5 stars. A book about a tiger counting friends. Cute. It’s a children’s book. Not too substantial in anything.

29. The Language of Thorns: 5/5 stars. Ok WOW. I bought this about a year ago during B&N’s signed deals where they just had a ton of books signed by the authors. I’ve seen this book floating around on BookTube for awhile and I decided to check it out at the bookstore. The illustrations sold me and I bought it. Imagine the already dark Grimm’s fairy tales, but darker. More context for the characters: Ursula, the Nutcracker, Hansel and Gretel but if Gretel was the only one at home. Really amazing stories and if you’re interested in dark, pretty illustrations that change with each page, pick it up!

30. Satoko and Nada vol 1: 5/5 stars. Ramona and I went to B&N yesterday, just sitting around like two useless gays reading a bunch of manga. This is one she picked out and told me to read it. You know me, as a white academic I am constantly on the lookout for narratives that aren’t white and can educate me. This was one of them! Satoko is from Japan while Nada is from Saudi Arabia, both are exchange students in the US. Their friendship, learning about each other’s cultures is so fucking cute. ;0;

31: I Hear the Sunspot vol 1: 4/5 stars. I docked this down from a 5 star rating because it just jumps into a established plot. I had no idea if this was a continuation from another series or if the author purposefully just threw us in the mix of an established gay relationship but they’re not really (they are but they’re confused) with some flashbacks that looks like it came from another volume? But despite those factors, the art is gorgeous. The characters are well developed and have complex background and stories to tell (one of the main characters has a degenerative hearing issue and will eventually become deaf).

32. Building Writing Center Assessments that Matter: 4/5 stars. This was a required text I had for a independent study I was a part of where I created a assessment of the climate of where I worked. This is a great resource in learning how to build assessments from scratch, and if you’ve never conducted one. I found the information they gave was limited to assessment of students who use the a writing center, while my assessment was more focused on how safe, valued, and heard those who currently work in the space feel. A great way to step into assessments!

33. Mary Ventura and the Ninth Kingdom: 4/5 stars. This was the first fictionalized piece of Slyvia Plath I’ve read. I can understand why it wasn’t published at first. There’s a lot of loose ends. Why was Mary going to the Ninth Kingdom? Why is everyone so placant in going to a “hell” type place? Also what the hell was the ending and her running away? This story left a lot to be answered, but I also love that about this short story.

34. Momo to Manji Vol 2: 5/5 stars. Volume two of one of my favorite historical yaoi mangas. It’s still hasn’t been fully translated just yet but I love it all the same!! So many complex characters, relationships!

35. Sweet Blue Flowers Vol 1. 5/5 stars. The first edition of a 5 volume series. Ramona told me to read this and I devoured the first book! Wholesome young girls falling in love with each other! Boyish girls who are heartthrobs! Unrequited love galore! Definitely going to check out the rest of the volumes!

36. Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me: 5/5 stars. Man. This comic took me through a roller coaster of feelings. First it kind of made me miss the constant interactions I had with people in junior high and high school. It also reminded me heavily of my first gf and I wondered if she and her friends viewed me as Laura Dean (in terms of being too cool. I never cheated lmao. And always just out of reach). It made me melancholy for a younger me who was also hopeless in love with their best friend. It was a wild ride, but one I recommend wholeheartedly!

37. Lovable Lyle: 5/5 stars. I’ve been looking at this little crocodile for awhile and I’ve come to the conclusion he is me. This book was silly but heartwarming as Lyle is beloved but suddenly receives letters from his sworn enemy. They try to ignore it, but they are persistent until they catch the culprit. Fucking ridiculous story but I loved every second.

38. The Great American Pin-Up: 5/5 stars. It was really cool how they sectioned off each famous artist of pin-ups. Some of them were tasteful nudes, semi-nudes, or lingerie teasing moments. As someone who is both gay and used to draw pin-up girls, this is a great reference!!!!

39. Drawing the R.A.F.: 5/5 stars. This book is one of those rarer finds. A british artist was commissioned to draw the officers of the R.A.F. in the middle of World War II. Some portraits are far better than others, but the worser ones are attached with amazing stories. Such as a 6”6’ pilot having to be physically shoved in a spitfire. These are fantastic and the art work is really beautiful.

40. Where’s Will? 4/5 stars. Where’s Will is a William Shakespeare version of Where’s Waldo. The art is beautiful and the hidden characters are extremely clever. However, I remember so often spending hours upon hours trying to find Waldo and the extreme satisfaction of finally finding him. Where’s Will I could find him within 5 minutes. It never went long enough to the point I feel worn and frustrated and finding several more interesting characters. He stood out more than he should and I flew through this book that Waldo would find insulting! But the illustrations are beautiful!

41. Carr’s Pocket Books - Florence Nightingale: 4/5 stars. This mini collection of Nightingale’s journals throughout her life is really interesting. As a woman who revolutionized what it meant to be a nurse and nurse practices, it was nice to see her own words from age 9 to 90. She was an elegant little girl with her writing and she showed wisdom beyond her years. Did I learn anything substantial about her work? No. But I did come to know her on a far more personal level that I appreciate.

42. Carr’s Pocket Books - How Horatius Kept the Bridge: 5/5 stars. Another one of these small pocket sized books I bought in Oundle, England. I don’t know why, but I’ve just been desperate to go through my books and get rid of any and all that don’t speak to me anymore. I also just want to read, a lot. This was part of my kick this week, trying to get through as many as possible. This poem story is about Roman soldier Horatius and how he single handedly took the Bridge against the Greeks. It’s a military triumphant, silly, and mystical, but I really enjoyed the structure of it. It was short and sweet.

43. Echoland: 3.5/5 stars. Echoland follows Arvid, a 12 year old Norwegian boy who visits his grandparents in Denmark for the summer. However, he’s growing up and he’s realizing that his parents are strained for some reason, his sister is too grown for him, and his grandparents are getting older. This book was confusing. It was short, quick, and I think younger children would enjoy this book more than me. It deals with more adult themes but through the eyes of a 12 year old. However, I found a lot of the storyline to be confusing: Why does Arvid not want to be touched? Why are his parents fighting?? Why does he hate all the men in his family? Why is he pushing everyone away? Why are his parents putting up with his attitude? There are a LOT of questions I have and there’s no real answer to be found. Maybe it’s the author’s style, but I found the story to be not as believable, but still enjoyable.

44. Mathilda. 2.5/5 stars. Mathilda was an audiobook I listened to as I suddenly got a migraine at around 6 pm and it didn’t let up until around midnight. The last three hours I’ve been listening to it. I thought this was Matilda from Roald Dahl but was instead by Mary Shelley herself. This was a very bizarre story. I really enjoyed the first half of the story which is about Mathilda writing a final letter to her best friend upon her deathbed. She’s retelling him her tragic story and how the death of her father was her fault. Her childhood was very bleak, touch starved as her mother died and her father abandoned her to his half sister. Her half sister wasn’t warm to her and saw her as a pest, which had Mathilda growing up til she was 16 without a father. Suddenly her father decided to return and within 2 months of his return her aunt dies, and now she’s in his custody. At first everything is fine, until her father starts to lash out at her and is very distant. He at first wants Mathilda to replace her mother and then rejects the idea. They go for a walk and Mathilda presses her father to tell her his deep secret and why he hates her all of a sudden. He refuses until she presses on and then he tells her that he lusts for her. She freaks out, he almost dies in the woods from shame, and then he leaves the next morning. Mathilda is then angry because SHE wanted to leave her father, but because he’s abandoning her again she chases after him. She finds him dead in a hotel room and then Mathilda begins to resent life and living. The story was great up until she decides to chase her father after he leaves her. It became a jumbled mess and Mathilda herself says her mind is a little mad with her decisions. The story started off as an intrigue with beauty descriptions, intense, and then just went bat shit crazy. The story ended on beautiful reflections on nature and how death is not beautiful for those living, but it really lost me. The last hour was a drag. I would definitely suggest listening to it if you have a migraine!

45. Megume to Tsugumi: 5/5 stars. Gay comic, lmao.

46. Golden Sparkle: 5/5 stars. I don’t remember the plot but it was cute.

47. Maltese Falcon: 2/5 stars. I was forced to read this for a film and literature class. Everyone was ranting and raving how the main character should be a male role model but that’s extremely stupid. Look, I love bad male representation (looking at you James Bond), but he was just trash. I get this is a famous crime novel, but GOD. It’s bad.

48. Maiden & Princess: 5/5 stars. This was about a maiden going to a ball who everyone thought she would marry the Prince. Except she and the Prince are best friends and she really fell in love with his sister. We love pride month books!

49. Prince & Knight: 5/5 stars. A gender-swap of Maiden & Princess except this was a Prince who goes off to slay a dragon to save his kingdom only to fall in love with a knight and marry him. SO GOOD.

50. Komi Can’t Communicate, Vol. 1: 4/5 stars. My friend Ramona told me to read this volume since she read it and loved it. While I loved the art and Komi, the story line was just a tad flat for me. It’s a really fun series if you like high school semi-romance but mostly heavy on friendship~!

51. What was Stonewall? 3/5 stars. This was one of those children informative books where they retell a piece of history. I thought this was great for children who know nothing about Stonewall but are hearing it from Drag Queens or in June for Pride History Month. I thought the information about Stonewall was short and concise and also good for children, however the book did verge off point and talk about other points of history as well as random actors who are gay. This is good, but it isn’t Stone wall, you know?

52. Pride: The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag: 4/5 stars. I watched Milk and I cried at the end. I’ve been wanting to know more about how Milk created our Pride Flag and this was another one of those books where it’s curated for children. So I appreciate the run down version it gives us, but they had to “modify” what the stripes mean, such as purple being Sexuality. Let kids hear the unfiltered truth!

53. TBH #1: TBH, This Is So Awkward: 4/5 stars. This was in the teen new released section and it’s a book of text messages. I hated this book, but also was way too invested in it when I was reading it out loud to my date. It’s just a bunch of middle school people sending love notes, getting the Valentine’s Day dance cancelled because they won’t stop using their phone and their principal said “Social Decency.” And then it ended by one of the girls bringing the valentine’s day dance back by creating a Task Force to enforce no texting during school. It was fucking wild and I loved every page I flipped through and wrote in.

54. Adaptations from Short Story to Big Screen: 4/5 stars. I liked it well enough, it was a textbook so I didn’t really read the stories in-depth. However, there are two stories I absolutely love which are Field of Dreams and Smoke Signals.

55. Our Father Who Art in a Tree: 5/5. I loved this book. It’s very true to the experience of what it’s like to be depressed and the first few months of deep grief. While I didn’t lose my parent until my teenage years and my brothers were older, but the strained relationships grief causes is so fucking poignant.

56. Little Miss P: 5/5 stars. I know it’s strange, because it’s a man writing a book about periods, but this was an excellent book. It really showcased the love-hate relationship women have with their periods and also sometimes accurate representations of what it feels like.

57. Ginza Neon Paradise: 4/5 stars. I don’t remember reading this manga! (I’m updating my book list after some months)

58. Na Leo I Ka Makani/Voices on the Wind: 5/5 stars. A book of history and photos of native Hawaiians, royals, and other cultural aspects important to the island. Some really cool photos.

59. Satoko & Nada vol. 2: 5/5 stars. Satoko and Nada are back again, continuing on with their studies and friendship. This book still continues to teach westerners some cool Eastern values while the main characters are learning about each other as well. I think the 3rd volume will come out soonish and that might be the end!!! I love this little series!

60. Annie on My Mind: 5/5 stars. One of the first lesbian novels to show a happy ending with the characters. It’s very much a high school love story and first real love. There were some parts of the story that were absolutely aggravating, painfully embarrassing, but also really heart warming. It’s a queer foundational book in literature, and if you’re interested in the history of queer literature, this should be on your list.

61. Killing Stalking: 5/5 stars. The comic finally ended. I started reading it in 2016 and finished in 2019. God was it a ride. It was full of conflicting feelings, creepiness, and an ending that leaves the reader confused, fulfilled, and also not fulfilled at the same time. I wouldn’t suggest reading it for those who are squeamish with gore, violence, and dark sexual themes, but it’s a fantastic read into what it’s like to experience stockholm syndrome and intense violent trauma.

62. Go for it, Nakamura!: 5/5 stars. A high school student falls in love with his popular classmate, but his classmate doesn’t know he exists! A cute gay book about falling in love, making friends, and pushing yourself to achieve your goals!

63. The Great Gatsby: 4/5 stars. The next two books are books I listened to while deep cleaning my room. It took me two days to fully clean my room, and this was also a challenge for my N.E.W.T.S 2019. I remember reading this book in high school and liking, and I think I lent out my copy and never saw it again. I bought it recently and decided to give it a re-read/listen. I think reading the book would have made it more engaging to me, but I found the themes to not be as impressive as an adult. Maybe it’s because I can’t relate to the characters or their choices are so dumb that I just can’t believe it anymore, but it was still entertaining to listen to. The narrator was great!

64. Emma (Narrated by Emma Thompson): 5/5 stars. This feels a bit like cheating because this rendition was not only abridged, but also had live actors. I’m very familiar with Emma, and Emma Thompson as the narrator was a genius move. However, do I feel like I read/listened to Emma? Not really.

65. Fresh Romance, Vol. 1: 4/5 stars. Half of the stories were very confusing and not very good. However, I really loved two stories about a Regency marriage and a spin off of Beauty and the Beast. I would read this volume just for those additions.

66. Pilu of the Woods: 5/5 stars. A cute story about emotions, friendship, and the woods. It even has a recipe on the back I want to read it!! The colors and characters are adorable. The storyline might not be as solid, but it’s a great read!

67. Ou-same to Puppy Love: 5/5 stars. A foreign prince falls in love with a neat-freak government official. Queue stupid boys in love!

68. Sugar Days: 5/5 stars. Childhood best friends, one small and manly, one tall and feminine, both love each other without having the courage to tell the other!!!! Very cute!!!!!

69. The Tea Dragon Society: 5/5 stars. I remember seeing this book a year ago and how everyone was ranting and raving about it. However, I never bought it or saw it. My best friend brought it over the other day for me to read and I could finally see what the fuss was about. QUEER CHARACTERS, LITTLE DRAGONS WITH TEA LEAVES GROWING OFF OF THEM, MULTIPLE REPRESENTATION!!!! IT’S SO GOOOOOD!

70. Luminous Animal: 5/5 stars. A jazz poetry book. It’s interesting how Tony Moffeit can write the same theme over and over, with the same lines but in different poems with different perspectives. It was really cool!

71. Still Mostly True: 5/5 stars. A weird poetry book that has philosophy and deep meaning poems with also weird ass drawings. However, my poetry book had inscriptions from someone else to their friend. The inscriptions were sometimes very annoying, but also kind of heartwarming how this friend made sure her friend knew she was thinking of her and loving her.

72. Sky, Wind, and Stars. 5/5 stars. A poetry book that was a Korean activist who was murdered by the Japanese through medical experiments for his radical poetry. We watched the movie in my Korean History through film class, and I loved it to bits I wanted to read his poetry. The movie downplayed just how radical his poetry was. Even as a English speaker, I can clearly see the activism, Korean pride that was written during the Japanese occupation. It was a wonderful poetry book, and an important one to Koreans at that. If you have the chance to read it, please do.

73. Memoirs of a Geisha: 5/5 stars. Haley (one of my bffs) recommended me this book like 3 years ago. It’s her favorite and I kept saying I would read it. August was the N.E.W.T.S. challenge and this fit the category of “audiobook” as I listened to a fan read audio of it and then had to read the last 7 chapters. I completely see where my friend finds inspiration in her writing from this book! I really loved the sad story, the harsh reality of Japan, even if this book was more on the idealized version of WWII in Japan and how Geishas were. Some of the thinking of Chiyo I feel could be chalked up to white men ideal sexualization, but overall I really enjoyed this book! Plus the fan who read it was really into her characters and she made the experience really fun.

74. Be Prepared: 5/5 stars. When you’re poor, Russian, and have the All-American-Girls as your best friends, life is extremely hard. No one likes your Russian food, the smallness of your home, and listening to a language not their own. VERA NEEDS SOME FUCKING NEW FRIENDS. As someone whose best friend is Russian, has a sister-in-law who is Russian, and a nephew learning to speak Russian, some people are really insensitive and it drives me nuts. I know a lot of people are upset with this book because it’s not a “full memoir” and yet is described as a memoir. I’ll just pose the question, can you remember 1 month straight at 10 years old, from people to dialogue? No? Yeah, cut the book some slack. This has great representation in terms of Russian culture and learning through it from little Russian eyes.

75. Kiraide Isasete: 5/5 stars. It’s another gay manga.

76. I married my best friend to shut up my parents: 4/5 stars. While I appreciate this story is light-hearted, it seems a bit far fetched for my taste. Also the main character doesn’t believe she’s gay, so I find it hard that a) she would actually get married and b) would just readily fall in love with her friend when she’s literally had no sexual desire for anyone. But other than that, it’s a ridiculous love story and it’s to the point!

78. Heartstopper V.2: 5/5 stars. I already read this awhile ago but I finally got my copy! So I’m just putting it in my list!

79. Raven: 5/5 stars. Raven is the first installment of the origins of the Teen Titans characters. I really loved this novel since Raven has always been a dark character in the original show. This book explores her experience with death, coming to terms with her birth origins, and New Orleans with ancient magic. A great start to a series I’m looking forward to reading the rest of!

80. Heartless. 4/5 stars. A child is taken care of by a succubus (male) after a religious cult burns down a hospital to get rid of the succubus. This story is intense in the gore and horror, but pretty light in plot. There’s no real driving force behind the characters and what they do, no explanation, it’s all just there for the reader to assume it just happened. But the characters were dynamic and interesting with superhuman powers and abilities.

81. The Adventure Zone Vol. 2: 5/5 stars. Every time I see Madame Director I sigh in relief because she exactly looks how I envisioned her while listening to the podcast many years ago. The story line is short, I feel like some of the build up jokes are lost or the frustration Griffin has with his brothers and dad that make the podcast so hilarious are missing, but it’s a really beautiful comic and also a great way for people to start listening to TAZ and MBMBAM

82: The Wind in the Willow: 4/5 stars. An audiobook I listened to. I had the paperback but it was too much reading for my mind for a classic children book. When I found the option on Libby, I listened to it as I started my preparations for the start of my final semester as an undergraduate! It went by fast, the actors were in their characters and there were some songs performed. I really enjoyed it, even if Mr. Toad is ANNOYING AS FUCK. Would recommend for those wanting to kill 2 hours of their time.

83. Classmates: 5/5 stars. High school sweethearts? Can’t express their feelings well? Uh, sign me the FUCK uP.

84-108. W Juliet: 5/5 stars. I haven’t read W Juliet since I was in 7th grade. I remember that I loved it so much that when I was in high school I began collecting the volumes and proudly put it on my shelf. I used to have two bookshelves worth of manga, and when I grew older I sold them but only kept two series: Marmalade Boy and W Juliet (I’m gonna read Marmalade Boy next). I’ve been wanting to reread W Juliet recent and revisit Mako and Ito’s silliness, and with the long weekend I did. I was not prepared for the analysis it would give me to my own life. Like, holy shit. This manga series was so important in developing me who I was as a kid, (some of them very mild kinks that my rp friends are subjected to), the loss Ito has and her issues with gender and like 100000% me and how I don’t like masculine guys at all with their toxicity (hello Mako, you summer child boy). I honestly want to do a fucking research paper on this series with an analysis of myself because of how much I love this series and how I connect to it. You can bet your ass this manga is coming with me for the rest of my life.

109-117. Marmalade Boy: 3/5 stars. Marmalade Boy was the manga that started it all. I remember being 8, having found the manga section with my best friend, and we decided to share reading Marmalade Boy. I was so captivated by the story that I made her wait in the car at her house, refusing to let her have the book until I finished it. It was the final of the volume, and it wouldn’t be another 3 years until I read the series OUT OF ORDER. I kept rereading this series, picking it up, I remember it felt like watching a movie. As an adult? God this series is really awful. The characters are very annoying, the teacher is very creepy, the plot moves WAY too quickly, and no one knows what consent is. It’s fucking insane. 1-7 volume is trash, but the 8th volume really put to life in the characters. For one, they’re older, it's been a few years, and they can step back from the crazy lives of high school. If it wasn’t for the sheer nostalgia, I would be giving these books away. But you gotta pay respect to those books that introduced you to life changing moments.

118. Ouji to Kotori. 4/5 stars. An art student, a prince who buys him, trying to escape, foreign lands, a story that has a “romantic” but is open ended. I liked the flow of the story, the art, and the characters were actually believable.

119. Mean Girls Club. 3.5/5 stars. Mean Girls Club is a 1950s tale of girls rising against the patriarchy through sex, survivor, drugs, and murder. The art style is amazing. But the story line is flat and feels rushed. Not a favorite, but still pretty enjoyable.

120. Grumpy Monkey. 5/5 stars. Grumpy Monkey is the story of a monkey who wakes up grumpy. Despite everyone not believing he can be so grumpy on a beautiful day, him denying that he’s grumpy, and getting angry at people telling him HE’S grumpy, is such a goddamn mood. Nothing pisses me off more than people telling me my mood. You don’t know me. Fuck off. Anyways, this also felt like a mental health book for kids, letting them know it's ok to NOT feel ok. As long as someone is willing to listen and not wanting to fix your grumpiness.

121. Dia de los Muertos. 4/5 stars. A children’s informational book about the Day of the Dead. Short, simple, great education.

123. Wild Cherry. 4/5 stars. Wild Cherry is a poetry book I’ve been totting around for 2 months but have had no energy to pick it up. I’ve been very depressed that I haven’t had time to read, and despite me falling asleep right now, I forced myself to read it. It felt very repetitive after a while with her constant calling back to long lost love, death, and April, but I appreciated the 1923 themes that were NO doubt soo popular.

124. Through the Woods: 5/5 stars. A horror comic book that reminds me a lot of “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.” I lent it to my co-worker since he loves these types of stories!

125. Dancing with Mr. Darcy: 1/5 stars. I read the first story which was Jane Austen crossing the River Styx and facing her judgement and then I tried to read the rest and it was all so fucking boring??? I put the book down and will not be continuing.

126. The Night Diary: 5/5 stars. So this was an audiobook I listened to during the week I had awful vertigo. I couldn’t go to work or university and I laid on the couch, glasses off, just listening to this story. If it hadn’t been read to me, I don’t think I would have loved it as much. It follows Nisha who is forced to leave after WWII when India is split into New India and Pakistan. All muslims are allowed to stay, but all Hindus must leave for New India because of territorial wars. It follows the dreadful path during the desert, the violence they faced, and the child’s innocence slowly being robbed from her. It’s all told through Nisha’s diary who pens it to her mother. The voice actor did a wonderful job.

127. We Contain Multitudes: 5/5 stars. Tiny twink nerd falls in love with Giant Jock football star. And then he falls in love with the nerd and they’re hormonal and coming out and angst with love. I understand why people are upset with the novel: the plot twist seems like a total cop out that the author placed and a 15 year old dating a 18 year old can get borderline statutoary rape. However, I absolutely loved this book. It was refreshing to have a “coming out” narrative that wasn’t focused on coming out, but rather these two boys falling in love through letters, reading the cringe of HS romances, and desperately following these boys through it all. It’s definitely a favorite I read this year!

128. Lovely War: 4/5 stars. This is the third book I read while going through vertigo, and my second audiobook. It’s set during WWI, following two love narratives but told through the perspectives of the Greek God. It was really refreshing, the voice acting was excellent, and I really enjoyed listening while dizzy constantly. I would have given in a 5 star rating, but near the end, Hazel’s pixie-manic girl stereotype was getting out of hand and her hypocrisy was really fucking annoying. However, up until that point, I really enjoyed it and recommended it to several friends!

129. The Assassination of Brangwain Spurge: 4.5/5 stars. I really struggled not giving this book five stars, but I thought some of the narration and story-telling could have done a tiny bit better. This was a great audiobook to listen to while I packed and finished projects before my plane ride to my first ever work conference. I was bummed out that I couldn’t listen to this audiobook on the plane because Libby requires wifi, but I really enjoyed the fantasy comedy of this book (even though fantasy tends to be a topic I don’t dare approach because it just through you into a world with no explanation). 10/10 would recommend to strangers on the street.

130. Aaron and Ahmed: 4/5 stars. I read this books during my great “aaaAH I’M GRADUATING TIME IS UNREAL” So these will be short. A story about after 9/11 and the brutality American soldiers went to gain answers, even if there were none.

131. The Tea Dragon Festival: 5/5 stars. Dragons? Tea? LGTB+? Who could ask for more??

132. Roadqueen: Eternal Roadtrip to Love: 5/5 stars. Lesbians calling out how trashy other lesbians treat girls who generally like them. “Fuck Boy” was used a lot and I loved this.

133. Skull-face Bookseller vol. 1: 5/5 stars. A skeleton tries to sell manga and explores the crazy customers who come in, the social mistakes foreigners make with Japanese booksellers, and Honda-san doing her best to survive in her job.

134-136. Beastars Vol 1-3: 5/5 stars. I saw a bit of the anime and realized there was a manga. I bought the two volumes I could and then the third one from amazon. I really enjoyed this series and look forward to reading it more!

137. I hear the Sunspot Vol 2: 5/5 stars. It’s nice to see the couple going on, even if its GUT-WRENCHING and stupid how they refuse to communicate!!!!! But it hits hard topics of the community for the hard of hearing and functioning in a world where signing is considered not important enough to teach.

138. Pink: 5/5 stars. A sex worker who spends all her money feeding her alligator and the trouble she gets into. Weird art style and at first I opened this book and didn’t buy it. 3 months later, decided to buy it and I adored it.

139: Restless: 4/5 stars. I don’t remember much about it, but I think it was cute. Maybe boyfriends find each other again?

140. How can one sell the air?: 5/5 stars. I’ve had this “calling” to start really reading native american stories and heritage. This is a controversial book with Suquamish people as they either see their leader finally giving up or instilling courage to stay firm even as the world does their best to destroy them. I really enjoyed reading his speech.

141. Skull-face Bookseller Vol. 2: 5/5 stars. Honda-san comes back again with her friends and exploring working in the shop with more crazy customers but also with her new found fame being a manga artist.

142. Gold Rush Women: 4/5 stars. A lot of white women with these narratives, which was disappointing since most of the Gold Rush Women were indegenious or came from other areas of the world rather than just Europe or East America. Wish there were more stories on the black, mexican, indegineous, or chinese women who were forced into slavery or abused or helped create the west.

143. No one is too small to make a difference: 5/5 stars. Greta Thornberg amazes me. Here we have a 15 year old with aspergers who is doing her best to inspire scientists, politicians, and anyone in the world to take charge of our climate change issues. It also amazes me how many people are threatened by a 15 year old and she’s forced to repeat herself in her speeches because people refuse to listen to what she has to say. She’s amazing.

144. Ookami he no Yomeiri: 3.5/5 stars A bunny and a wolf get married. What more can I say?

145. Monody: 3/5 stars: Monody is a strange poetry book. The lyrical writing leaves lacking in terms of uniqueness and deep thought, but aesthetically it is beautiful. Blue font paired with geographical maps of Reno, Nevada, the poetry book comes off more of an art piece.

146. Usagi no Mori: 3/5 stars. Uhmmm. Don’t remember…

#2019 books #2019 book reviews #2019 book list #book reviews

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pb1138 · 6 years

Text

Through the Window

Cable x femReader

Deadpool and Cable need to lie low for a while, so they choose rural Indiana. It just so happens that where they choose to set up shop is not too far from where you grew up, and old memories and emotions get stirred up. HELLA ANGST and then fluff. LOTS of mention of loss/death. About 2,000 words

Deadpool 2 spoilers

“Hey, guys, I have to take Mindy home. I’ll be back in, she says, like two hours. So probably more like 4.” You had poked your head through the archway into the living room, waving at Cable and Wade who were sitting on opposite ends of the room.

“I’m coming with you.”

Surprised, you raised your eyebrows at Cable who had spoken. “I mean. Ok, but we’re going to be singing loudly to a lot of weird music.”

Cable shrugged and stood, crossing the room to you. “I don’t care. I’m goin stir crazy in this dump.”

Wade gasped in mock offense, putting a hand to his chest. “How dare you. I work my ass off to make this place a shitshow. To call it a dump is just downright insulting to my efforts as a homemaker.”

Cable looked pointedly at you and you smiled, waving him along.

The three of you piled into your car, Cable in back, and you set off on your way. Due to your friend’s shitty navigation, it took you nearly two hours to get to her house despite it only having needed an hour, hour and a half tops. But you didn’t mind. You were having fun, talking to her, singing with her, making fun of Cable’s reactions to you both. You had been pointing out houses you liked along the way, as well as obligatorily pointing out every single herd of cattle or horses you saw. You had met your friend in her freshman year of college in DC, but it turns out you were both from the same small town in Indiana. You were ecstatic to have found a piece of home so far away and after so long. The two of you became close friends and eventual roommates in one of the dorms on campus before you had made friends with Dopinder, the lovable taxi driver. He had been taking you across town when DP called needing a ride. You had said it was fine, you didn’t mind sharing a taxi. As soon as Wade’s ass hit the seat, you were best friends. The two of you moved in together after Vanessa passed away so Al didn’t accidentally shoot herself trying to shoot him, and so Colossus wouldn’t lose his mind. Cable had ended up moving in after a while, too, something you very much didn’t mind. Cable was. Just. Fuck. Like. Oh my god. There just aren’t even words.

And then Wade decided to piss off one of the biggest, most widespread mafias in the entire United States and suddenly they needed to lie low. “I’ve got just the place,” you had said, and voila, rural ass Indiana. Nothing but corn and beans and cows for miles. Home.

“You missed the turnoff,” Mindy said.

You smirked and glanced at her, shaking your head. “Nope. I wanna go see my old house. I wanna see what they’ve built over it.”

Cable’s interest was mildly, very mildly, piqued, but he didn’t ask about it. He knew actually very little about you past beyond the basics—Indiana born and raised, mutant but self-trained, tense family life, come to DC for school. That’s really it. Truthfully, he was a little excited to see through this window into your life.

A few miles later, you turned onto a nicely paved road and began your tour. You started with the house of a childhood friend and crush who ended up being gay with a teenage-hood friend and crush, then moved on to the house of another friend, then the cemetery where you road your bike, and then finally your old land.

“Eight fucking years and they still haven’t built anything? What a load of shit.” You scoffed, pulling into the overgrown driveway. Cable narrowed his eyes in confusion, looking out the window at…well nothing. There were two garages, an old barn attached to a silo, and a storage barn, but other than that?

“What do you mean?” Mindy has asked.

“So. Eight years ago. I fucked up. And accidentally burnt my house down.”

“Fucking what?”

“It’s a long story but basically I tried to smoke a cigarette and fucked up and now my house is no more, aight? The people who bought it said they were going to build a new house for their kids. Eight years ago. And there’s still nothing. I mean, it’s kind of touching in a way because it still feels like mine, but jesus what’s the hold up?” You drove them through the rest of the driveway, telling them some stories about your childhood before you continued on your way to the town about a mile away. As you drove down the main street, you slowed down at a candle store and stared at it for a long minute before Cable watched you wipe a tear from your eyes.

“Was that your dad’s store?” Mindy asked. You nodded in response, and suddenly Cable understood. He knew your dad had passed away not long after your house burnt down. ‘The year of hell’ you call it. And he remembered you telling him that your father had owned a computer store, some dinky little place, but you loved it. He looked out the window at the candle store again before he silently reached out and touched your shoulder. You smiled slightly in your rearview at him and set off again. Mindy’s house wasn’t even 2 minutes away. You said your goodbyes and Cable moved up to the passenger seat and the two of you set off again. After learning about what all you’ve lost, Cable felt a little closer to you, not that he didn’t feel close before. In fact, if he were totally honest with himself, he downright liked you. Perhaps a little too much.

You took a different way out of town, more direct to get home, but you had pointed out a few more landmarks (the water tower, a park that “hasn’t changed one goddamn bit,” your gay crush’s old house, some train tracks you said the cops had yelled at you for walking on.) And after a while, you had begun to cry. Not blatantly, but Cable heard the cracking in your voice, saw you trying to hide your eye wipes. Quietly, he asked, “Are you alright?”

Your lip trembled and you gripped the wheel tightly, but nodded. “Yeah. It’s just. A lot of memories.” He nodded silently and looked ahead. After a few minutes of silence, you quietly admitted, “I miss my dad.”

He looked at you and his heart shattered. You had tears blatantly falling down your face now, one hand holding your head, the other gripping your wheel with all your strength. “I’m sure wherever he is, if he’s somewhere, he’s proud of you.”

You were silent another moment before you shook your head slightly. “I’m not so sure. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the last eight years.”

Cable frowned. “But did you learn from them?”

You nodded slightly. “I like to think so.”

He looked forward, hands resting on his knees. “Then he’s proud.”

You pulled into the parking lot of a factory and got out of the car. The sun was setting ahead of you, and you pulled yourself onto the hood of your car, staring at it. Cable got out, too, and stood next to you. “It’s not just what I’ve done since… It’s what I did before.”

Cable looked at you, took in the orange light making your skin glow, lighting the trails of your tears, softening your hair. “What are you talking about?”

“My dad. Um. My dad died thinking I didn’t love him.” You sniffed hard, your voice quivering. “And, before you say he knew, really he didn’t.”

“Go on.”

“So. The night before he died. He asked if I wanted to go into the city to do laundry. I was 14. In my emo phase where parents suck all kinds of shitdick. I told him no. A few minutes later, he comes in and yells at me, which should have tipped me off because my dad never yelled.” You took your sunglasses off and wiped your eyes hard. “So I went, and I was pissed and being petulant. We went and threw our clothes in and then went and got Taco Bell, so I was like cool, Taco Bell. But still annoyed.” Cable pulled himself up on the hood to sit beside you. “And then we started driving around my old neighborhood, where I was born. And he was telling me stories, just random tidbits from my youth. Which was also weird. And then we went and got our clothes and started home.” You swallowed hard and your voice started shaking hard, holding back sobs. “He and my mom were getting a divorce. A while before they asked who I wanted to live with, and I had said my mom. So we’re leaving town that night and he goes, ‘When your mom and I get divorced, will you come see me?’” You choked out a sob and turned your hands into fists, teeth digging into her lip. Cable reached over and put his hand on your shoulder again. It took you a minute to calm down enough to continue. “And I didn’t fucking say anything. Not a goddamn fucking thing. So then he goes, ‘I bet you won’t.’ And I. Didn’t. Fucking. Say. Anything.” You were sobbing now, blatantly, choking your words out one by one. “I went to bed really late that night, but when I did he was still snoring in bed. We hadn’t talked since we left town. And then I woke up to my mom calling an ambulance and he was gone.”

Cable couldn’t handle it anymore. He reached over and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into him. You turned and buried your head in his shoulder, arms wrapping tightly around his waist. He held you close, rocking ever so slightly, waiting for you to calm down. It took a while, the sun almost completely set over the horizon, but you whispered a small, “Thank you for listening,” into his shoulder, your grip around his waist slackened significantly.

He put his cheek on your head and rubbed your arm gently. “Doll, I would listen to you read the dictionary word by word, shit letter by letter if I thought it would help you feel better.”

You shook with a small laugh and you pulled back, smiling slightly up at him, eyes puffy and red. He smiled gently at you and brushed a bit of hair behind your ear and you turned your cheek into his palm, your hands moving to his wrist. Before you realized what you were doing, you had turned and pressed a kiss against his palm, and once you did realize, you slipped off the car, moving to head to the passenger side. Cable hesitated for the smallest fraction of a second before he slid off after you and gently caught your wrist. You turned towards him and let him pull you into him, your hands going to his chest, his to your shoulders. You both looked at each other for a moment, eyes flicking back and forth before you stretched up and ever so softly put your lips to his, ghosting your skin just barely against his. He moved to cup the back of your neck and leaned down into it, warmth and love radiating from his core. He pulled back after a moment and you smiled up at him. “Turns out I don’t need to read the dictionary after all.”

His smile widened and he kissed you again, this one long and passionate, almost leaving you breathless. You were interrupted by the ringing of a phone and you sighed, knowing it was probably Wade, being annoying. You stepped back from Cable and smiled, tossing the keys at him. “I’m too tired to drive.” He chuckled and stepped around to the driver’s side and you set off for home, holding hands the entire way.

#cable #cable x reader #nathan summers #nathan summers x reader #x reader #marvel x reader #deadpool x reader #death mention #loss mention #angst #fluff #x reader fluff #cable fanfic #cable fanfiction #fuck #i love cable #ugh

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