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bexterbex · 4 years

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A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 78

A BIG THANK YOU TO @thetorturerwrites for helping me with the 🥵 part of this chapter. Also warning for smut, and anything bolded in the tags.

Warning, PLEASE CHECK TAGS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU DON’T WANT TO READ THEN DON’T READ. | Tag lists are closed | INBOX OPEN

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Will tag as I go along, Will update tags, Slow Burn, Influenced by Star Trek and other Sci-Fi themes, References to We Happy Few, Tons of References and quotes to George Orwells 1984 see if you can find them all, The First Order is the new Big Brother, but who is really surprised, Blatant Nazi Symbolism, Interrogation Themes, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Really just drawn out Slow Burn, Don’t repost without permission, Torture themes, Suggestive Themes, Execution themes, Disturbing Themes, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Controlling Kylo Ren, Physical Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Possessive Kylo Ren, A character shamelessly based on Zelda

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

MASTERLIST

Chapter 78: The End of a War

You walked back into the meeting, without your faithful guard dog. “Now where will we be sending everyone off to,” you ask your newly appointed Chancellor Hux.

“We have some reason to believe there is a Resistance base in the Outer Rim, on this end of the galaxy somewhere in K-5/6 and L-5/6 sectors. We will be sending heavy reinforcements to that region.” Hux seemed to be confident in the intelligence that you were given.

You considered the tactile plan, “I see and what do we think we will be met with?” You weren’t a military mind, but you needed to be sure that they knew what they were doing, they had failed before and failure wasn’t an option now.

Another First Order general spoke up, “Not much, we have already crippled much of their army, with the destruction of their last base and the several New Republic planets. Mostly this will be to finish them off and to now establish authority across the galaxy.” That’s exactly what you wanted to hear, taking control of the galaxy. Soon it would all be yours.

“So are a portion of the troops going to do that? While others face off in battle?” You knew sending all your fleet to one area would not be a wise decision. The Empire had chosen to do something similar in the past, and you weren’t going to be so stupid.

“Yes, I believe that is the best tactic. You have a phrase from your home planet saying ‘not to put all of your eggs in one basket’ and so by making sure we have a proper disbursement of ships across the galaxy we will maintain our authority.” Hux was an expert at trying to bring things to your understanding. He knew you had little background in any of this, and that you trusted him to make the right decisions. It is why he earned his promotion.

You nodded to him, “Good, Lord Ren will join the forces heading to the base, he has an important mission from me, one that he should not be distracted from.” You needed your husband to complete his mission, but more importantly, you needed him to come back in one piece. You wanted there to be no one in his way.

Hux seemed to understand this. “Of course, Empress. We will make sure he sees his task through without any obstacles.”

You left the meeting, Kylo was off fighting for you on some planet someplace in the galaxy. Hux had told you where but you really didn’t care. All you needed to know was that he was ok and that he was taking care of what you sent him for. It had been three days before you heard they were back. You had been doing various things, making sure the Final Order and First Order’s union was going smoothly. One of your staff came and told you that Kylo had requested in some of the interrogation rooms.

Walking down the hall with Ap’lek and Vicrul by your side, you saw officers and 'troopers dodging out of the way. All of them giving you proper salutes and acknowledgments to you as Empress. You made your way down to the interrogation rooms, pausing in front of the doors of the large one. Entering you saw an interesting sight, four people chained to the floor, the other Knights of Ren along the back wall, Kylo pacing in front of the prisoners, and Hux and Phasma talking in an opposite corner. It looked like a real party. Vicrul and Ap’lek joined their brothers in arms along the back wall. Doing the usual silent communication thing they did.

You looked at Hux and then Kylo before saying, “What do we have here?” You then looked at the four prisoners, who looked pretty worse for wear.

Hux spoke first, you could tell Kylo was still in beast mode as his Force energy wrapped around you protectively. “These are the last known leaders of the Resistance, unfortunately, we lost a few in battle at no fault to anyone.” The man on the left seemed the most rabid of them all, sneering at Hux.

“Why don’t you tell me who our guests are?” You kept your tone rather light, knowing what was to inevitably come.

The man on the left spat up at Hux, who was closest to him. “Guests? So that’s who we are now?” You could hear the venom dripping from his voice.

Hux looked rather unimpressed at the man who was chained down by his feet. “Poe Dameron General of the Resistance, notorious pilot who has killed millions in this war. He is responsible for blowing up Star Killer Base.” The brunette man glared at him before looking at you, you could see Kylo’s body shift towards him as a sign that he should watch his actions.

You point to the next chained prisoner.

“And him?” He seemed much bulkier than the pilot next to him.

“FN-2187,” responded Phasma first.

“My name is Finn,” spat the man.

Hux continued with his debriefing, “FN-2187 is a General of the Resistance. A defective stormtrooper traitor who has killed his own brothers and sisters in battle. He is partially responsible for the destruction of Star Killer Base.”

“And her?” You pointed to the next prisoner.

“Rose Tico, chief engineer of the Resistance. She and her family fought against the First Order when we annexed her homeworld, and she was crucial to the evacuation of the old resistance base.” Hux seemed rather displeased in particular with her.

“And what about them?” You pointed to the last prisoner.

“Noor Abdallah, a chief information officer of the Resistance. They have foiled many of our attacks by intercepting communications between ships, they helped with the destruction of Star Killer Base.” So this was Carter’s match? A Resistance fight, someone Carter had been dreaming about for years. Someone who now seemed to waste their life before they ever got a chance to meet their other half.

You stepped back for a moment watching your husband pace in front of them. They seemed to regard him as a higher status than you. Something he was not.

FN-2187 pleaded to him, “Rey wouldn’t have wanted this.” Rose seemed to agree.

“You think I cared for the Scavenger? I killed her.” So they thought she could be a bargaining chip to reason with the beast? She held no candle to you, you were the Empress, and she was a dead sand rat. You were his match, and she was nothing.

Poe now seemed to reason with him, “Leia wouldn’t have wanted you to do this.”

“And what do you know of my mother? She sacrificed herself to save me and her. You know nothing.” Bringing up his mother was a terrible decision on his part. What good did this pilot think he was doing? Did he really think he knew his mother better than he did? Ignorant and cocky is a dead man’s wish.

You were sick and tired of the prisoners ignoring your presence. “So these are some of the people who have outsmarted the First Order for so long?”

Hux responded in kind, “Dameron’s a damn good pilot and FN-2187 was trained as one of our own and was once very promising.” It was noted to you that he did not speak of the others at this point, you wonder just how many squabbles the two men had won against the First Order before you arrived.

You kept your voice aloof, “I see. It’s a shame they choose the wrong outcome in life don’t you think? Working for the Resistance, harboring chaos, defying me? What do you think my love?”

This caught Kylo’s attention, you could see he was shaking with anticipation and power. He wanted blood and now you would let him have it.

“Kill the pilot, the traitor, and the girl. As for Noor, send them to reconditioning, and then to Earth, there is someone there that doesn’t deserve to lose them just yet. Maybe they will reconsider unwise life decisions from now on.” You saved their life for your former friend Carter. You weren’t all heartless, but you knew whoever sided with the Resistance would still call you that. When your back was turned to head out of the room, you heard the crackle of Kylo’s lightsaber and the sound of bodies hitting the floor, you didn’t stick around to see the aftermath, rather you chose to go back to your quarters to prepare the treat you had promised him.

When you arrived you headed immediately to the bedroom where you pulled it out of a closet and laid it on the bed. While he was away, you had asked Vicrul and Ap’lek to fetch it from wherever he had chosen to hide it. It wasn’t a toy for you, but for him. Something to tame the beast for a short time. Something clad in tight black leather that the knights seemed to be fond of. You don’t know if Adlez had sparked the idea within them or if it was something they already enjoyed that she was the perfect outlet to share it with. But the present came with a little accessory, a black riding crop, something to instill obedience within the beast.

You had a newfound confidence that paired nicely with your new ego, your new self. You heard the door to your chambers open and the rush of booted footsteps. He was eager to see where you were, to receive his treat. He entered the bedroom with his helmet on, something you hadn’t considered before, but something to possibly explore at a later time. With the crop in your hand, you ordered, “Strip.”

The helmet came off first with a thud to the floor, his eyes fixated on the instrument in your hand. You could feel his desire pooling around you with the Force, his protection bubble revealing his underlying moods and wants. You watched his eyes grow dark as he obeyed your command, his breathing deepening and his arousal evident. You could tell that the beast was underneath the surface. Once he obeyed your command, you made a simple order again, “Kneel.”

He was already half-hard and growing more erect by the second. You stepped closer to him, his eyes followed you wildly, like a predator watching its prey. You leaned down next to his ear and said, “Now, I believe I promised you a treat for all your hard work. Your knights were so kind as to deliver me our wedding present. I think it’s high time we use it don’t you think? I think my beast deserves it.” You watched his body ripple with pleasure, trying to contain himself, trying to obey your orders.

You grabbed the toy off the bed, “Lean forward.” If it was anyone else, you would have had them lean against the bed for support, but he was just that, a beast. His strength could hold him for however long you needed him in a certain position, his monstrous strength and resilience would make sure of that. The black leather hugged his arms beautifully as you strapped him in and tied him up, the binder allowing you to have full control of the situation at hand. He still had the Force of course, but he seemed less inclined to use it now. Not wanting to disobey you. He was leaning into your touch, desperate for your warmth.

You took one look at him all tied up and were satisfied. “On the bed, on your knees, back to the headboard.” The beast was going to get some training today before you let him free. He scrambled to obey, and he was a sight to behold. He was now fully erect but frustrated at the lack of friction. He moved into the spot you wanted him in. Over the last few days, you put in a simple work order, you needed a few anchors put in the wall. One on each side of the bed and one in the middle for this exact purpose. You grabbed a sturdy chain and hooked it to the anchor and then to the ring in the binder. This would not hold him if he chose to go completely feral, but if he obeyed you, it would serve its purpose. Now your guard dog was chained up, and you were just about ready to let the beast loose.

He tested the chain, as you slowly and teasingly stripped in front of him. The beast wanted to touch you, to take you, but right now you were too far away for that to happen. “Does the beast want a taste?” This earned a snarl in reply. His eyes were wild, and his body was vibrating. You moved in closer. You brought the riding crop against his cheek, the only form of contact between you two at the moment. He wasn’t pleased as he bit the end of it, “Now, now, only good little attack dogs get their treats.” He let go of the crop which you then lightly whacked against his cock, earning a yelp and a thrust of his hips. But he didn’t seem to dislike it as you watched his lower ab muscles clench and his cock twitch. He looked like a wild chained up animal.

You moved in closer, but just out of reach, even though his hands were behind his back you wanted there to be distance yet. “Now are you going to be a good little guard dog and obey me or will you need to be punished some more?” The snarl you received seemed to encourage you to keep punishing him. You randomly whacked him in the abs, ass, thighs, face, and cock for a bit. You could see the pleasure rippling through his body, and the occasional moans of pleasure supported that. You rubbed the head of his cock with the tip of the crop, spreading the pre-cum around. After a few more hits to the dick, he came with a force. His seed covering both of your chests and stomachs. You then wrapped your arms around him and ordered him to clean you up.

The pleasure you received from giving his punishment and his attention and sucking of your breasts, got you close to the edge. You were enjoying everything as much as he did as you leaned back away from him and finished yourself off. On display for him, with your fingers buried in your own cunt. You could hear the chain creak as he pulled against it, wanting so desperately to touch you. But you came too fast to allow that. Once you caught your breath you stared up at him. He was struggling against the hold, desperate for you. You got up and brought your fingers to his lips, allowing him to clean them off before you ordered him to move back on the bed. “Clean me up.” You watched as he eagerly obeyed. His tongue, lips, nose, and teeth buried into your folds cleaning up your fresh juices. The beast loved to nip at the tender flesh, whereas Kylo just kissed and sucked, both had their advantages, but right now it was the beast’s turn.

Once you were confident that you were cleaned up, and that he was just eating you out now you ordered him to stop. Which seemed like it was difficult for him to obey but he did reluctantly. “Stay put.” You got up and moved behind him, propping yourself up on pillows. “Turn around.” He looked wild as he followed orders. The beast was waiting. You spread your legs open for him. His re-hardened cock twitched at the sight, you watched him breathe in and out jaggedly, attempting to keep what little control he had.

You swallowed back your own desire as you commanded, “I want your cock.” That seemed to flip the switch. Even though his arms were chained up behind him, the power of his hips was enough to cause you to scream his name. He thrust deep and hard into you, the beast giving his full power as he relentlessly pounded into you. The grunts, groans, moans, and growls filled the air as the sound of skin slapping filled the room. He bit and sucked at any flesh he could get, marking you up. It didn’t take long for both of your orgasms to crash together. He let out some sort of howl as he did, his name being screamed on your lips. For a few minutes, the beast seemed satisfied.

You struggled to get up, now wanting to unrestrain him so you would at least have one round with him free. He snarled at you as you tried to get up, thinking you were leaving him there. “No, I want to let the good guard dog go. So he can have some freedom.” Your fingers trembled as you removed the straps and undid the ties. You couldn’t really feel your lower body anymore, but you could feel the empty sensation of him not being inside of you. Once he was free it took only a few seconds for him to grab you and slam you back down on the bed. His feral side took over as he aggressively took you again. This time his thrusts hand more purchase as he was able to hold on to you, and the headboard. His hands occasionally groped your breast but they mostly were buried into the meat of your ass.

He filled you up completely, taking no pause as to fuck you deep and hard. The beast is using his full power now. You had promised him a treat and now your tight cunt was delivering it to him. If someone were to walk in on you now, they would probably think a wild animal was fucking you, but it was him. Holding you down, taking you as his own prize. Your breasts are barely able to bounce properly to meet the speed of his thrusts. All you could do was moan like a desperate whore at his deep hard pounding. He locked on to your g-spot and didn’t give up even after you orgasmed. He was looking for two for one as he continued his unrelenting pace. Which he was granted as you finally came together, being filled with his fire you felt completed.

He collapsed on top of you, seeming to hog all of your personal space, completely wrapping around you. It felt protective and possessive as he seemed to use the last of his energy to cover you in kisses. You fed your beast with your own pleasure. He was sated for now. You were now the Empress to the galaxy, and he won that for you.

A/N: Let me know what you think? Two more chapters after this.

#kylo ren #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren smut #a soul to mend his own #kylo x reader #kylo x you #star wars #star wars imagine #Star wars soulmate au #sw first order imagine #star wars first order #mellyisthebest

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arsonality-archived · 4 years

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rabid heavy taming engineer didn't die ...... good <3

#ask to tag #honking #if he did no he didn't <3 fuck canon

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fandomandangstlover · 1 year

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Trying to draw something Surreal is much harder then I thought it was

C'mon lemme do existential crisis ass art

#tamer beloved <3 #the engineer doodles (art tag)#my art #team fortress 2 #team fortress two #rabid heavy taming engineer #crash maul #tf2 engineer #tw eyestrain #cw eyestrain

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chrysalispen · 5 years

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kissing prompt: ‘a kiss meant to seduce’

not answering these in any particular order but tbh i’m trying to get these nero/WoL wips out the door so have another prompt response. more or less a lead-in to this fic i wrote which i don’t hate quite enough to take down.

not explicit, but probably a T/M rating on AO3 for mention of dirty talk etc.

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All told, no one had seemed to be in an agreeable mood on the way down to the Find from the Crystal Tower courtyard, or after they'd arrived. Cid's expression had been positively thunderous, blue eyes dark with his agitation, and the overall feeling from the other Ironworks engineers on site ran the gamut between confusion and suspicious resignation.

Well. Almost no one. Their sudden interloper seemed quite cheerful about the entire circumstance, as though all of this were going exactly the way he had wanted and they were all just cogs in some machine he'd set in motion.

That idea was absurd, of course; Nero tol Scaeva couldn't have had much more of an inkling of what was behind those doors than anyone else here, surely. But the calm, self-assured way he moved told her he did know something, and more to the point, that he had some plan in mind for it once they’d bypassed all the security for him.

That alone was more than enough to make her wary.

She glanced from side to side, looking for Cid, but he appeared to have quit the Find in a fit of pique (not that she particularly blamed him). The other engineers were just as busy, and G'raha was animatedly chattering to Unei and Doga who were both attempting to answer his flood of questions as best as they could manage.

Everyone seemed to have quite forgotten her presence now that her ability to brute-force the doors to the Labyrinth open was no longer necessary. She wished she could feel even slightly surprised, but that was what she was here for, she supposed. The muscle, the good luck charm.

With a sigh, Aurelia approached Rammbroes' study pavilion and lifted the tent flaps, letting herself inside. If the scholar or one of his fellows -- or better yet, Cid -- was there, she could talk with them, feel out if there was anything that they ought to be concerned about before venturing into the tower should Nero's timely appearance be subterfuge for something sinister...? But the tent was---

---the tent was not empty, as it had appeared from the outside. A familiar figure turned towards the sound of her entrance, a leather-bound book clasped in one hand.

She immediately reached for her weapon, snapping, "What are you--"

Nero tol Scaeva lifted his hands in a conciliatory gesture.

"Before you cut me down in cold blood, the journal is mine own. I was attempting to compare my notes with that of your associates here."

Aurelia's eyes narrowed but the tribunus only stared back, a look that was both coaxing and challenging at the same time, as if waiting to see what she would do. Finally she relented, tucking her staff back over her shoulder. While it was obvious he'd come in here by himself to rummage through papers, it seemed that he hadn't been here much longer than she had. So it wasn't as though he had had sufficient opportunity to do anything.

Nothing she could prove at the moment, anyroad.

"And the tomestones? I can't imagine you'd want to leave those behind without having a look for yourself."

"They're welcome to them," Nero said with a dismissive shrug.

She blinked. “That was... not the answer I expected.”

"Personal experience from the Ultima Project. The majority of those tomestones will be naught more than particularly expensive paperweights; what useful data exists on them has quite likely been eroded due to time and exposure. As counterintuitive as it may seem, their decision to keep written documentation of the dig may be the wiser course of action." His pale blue eyes had not tracked away from her face the entire time he had spoken. The gaze he’d leveled upon her was sharp, scrutinizing, intense, and this time she didn't have the benefit of his magitek armor to hide that interest from her sight.

Not that he was bothering to hide it in any way. What game was he playing...?

She broke eye contact, feeling ill at ease as she glanced at the entrance to Rammbroes' tent. She'd backed up against a nearby worktable; heavy and sturdy, it sat just below her waist, at hip height. Perfectly appropriate for a roegadyn sitting down to pen missives or peruse dusty old texts or review Allagan tomestones.

Nero was smiling but he still hadn't said anything, and that made her uncomfortable enough to finally break the silence between them with a defensive "What?"

"Any particular reason you happen to be blushing?"

"Wh- I'm not blushing."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

The right corner of his lips tugged slightly upwards, just enough to reveal a flash of canine. She chewed on her lower lip, grasping at the table for a sense of purchase and trying not to think about things she... really should not be thinking about. Really shouldn't. Like how in the seven hells a man was born with a mouth like that. It was- it was unfair.

His answering chuckle made her realize, much to her chagrin, that she had spoken aloud.

He braced his hands against the table's surface and leaned his weight back against it, slotting himself in the open space at her side. Unconsciously, Aurelia shifted herself to put a few ilms of space between them, trying not to think about the difference in height that was somehow far more noticeable now. Nero tol Scaeva was damnably tall; she was average height for a Garlean woman and still barely came up to his shoulders when they stood side by side, let alone in a position like this.

"To that end I've a question for you, eikon-slayer,” he continued smoothly, “if you would be so kind as to indulge me."

"About...?"

"I find it passing strange that a woman who can slay gods without blinking should find my presence in any way disconcerting. An artifact of your upbringing, I assume?" He was baiting her, she knew; the tone of his question was decidedly mocking. But that smile-- that had turned into something speculative and dark. Combined with the intensity of his stare, it set alight a strange, pressurized heat in the pit of her stomach. "Does Garlond elicit this reaction?"

"Cid? Hardly." Aurelia wrenched her gaze away from the movements of his lips to stare over his shoulder at the tent opening. Scholars and Ironworks engineers were passing to and fro just outside; she could see the shadows they cast upon the tarpaulin. "Cid also doesn't stand two ilms away from my face and stare me right in the eyes like he's about to devour me, so take that as you will, I suppose."

" 'Devour' you? What an interesting turn of phrase. Although I must admit you make a salient point. I cannot imagine that you are embarrassed by the slightest of his attentions as you are mine."

Was... was he trying to do what she suspected he was doing? The idea seemed laughable on its face -- Eorzea had no shortage of beautiful women, so who on earth would find her appealing? -- but the problem she currently faced was that it was actually working, damn him. It didn’t help that it had been... she couldn't remember how long since anyone had taken any sort of prurient interest in her, now that she thought about it.

Assuming of course that she wasn't just overthinking this and he wasn't putting her wind up for fun. Either way, she had to put an end to this now before it escalated any further.

"Unfortunately for you, I am not interested.” Calm, collected, and to the point. Yes, she thought; very well done.

She'd hoped that her bluntness would deter him, but that smile only widened, the maw of a hunting predator about to strike.

"Something tells me you are perhaps not being forthright with me." His tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth. "Shame on you, hero."

"I mean it. I am not interested," she repeated, this time with more resolve. "After what you did in the Prae-"

"Ah, you're concerned that I might turn on you all like a rabid dog, as it were. Worry for Garlond? Thinking I might sabotage his precious Ironworks or somesuch?"

"Not---no, none of those things, not as such, but to say I trust you would be a stretch. Not a word in all these weeks and suddenly you turn up, unannounced, as thought naught had transpired?"

"Your concern is unwarranted. Merely do I find myself with a plethora of free time in the wake of my sudden discharge from military service.”

“You-,” she began, but he was not finished.

“Lest you labor beneath the assumption that I intend you any sort of bodily harm, for a long while before we were... shall we say ‘formally introduced’, I had this recurring dream about you, me, and an interrogation chair-" At the wide flare of her eyes, he paused, only to grin at her: "...Now that, eikon-slayer, is a very interested look."

She tried to scoff at him, but it came out as a short, sharp, nervous bark.

"What look? I didn't give you any look."

"You most certainly did."

"You're reading intent where none exists-"

"Am I? Couple that with the fact you're mortified by the slightest hint of insinuation on my part and it's quite telling."

"Scaeva, I was in the legions myself once. Do you seriously think I'd not been exposed to the odd bit of barracks chatter?" She scowled at him. "I'm a chirurgeon by trade. I think I know enough of the human condition not to be easily embarrassed by such things."

There it was--the look she'd seen him pass Cid every time he was wont to needle the man in the space of a single conversation, coupled with the upwards arch of one eyebrow. She’d not realized how aggravating it was to be on the receiving end of that look until this moment, now that she was the subject of Nero's condescension.

"I'd wager that what you believe passes for 'barracks chatter' is overwhelmingly tame. You've not heard the half of it, I assure you. Even the worst among the rank and file will behave themselves around a skirt, especially if the lady in question is a pureblood."

"Perhaps if the lady had seen no military service. I imagine there is precious little they could say that would shock me."

He pushed himself upright and turned to face her, bracing his hands on either side and giving her precious little in the way of an escape route.

“I am very willing to test your hypothesis."

"I'm sure you are.” She kept her voice steady with some considerable effort. His mouth now lingered but a bare hairsbreadth apart from her own, and trying not to think about that fact was only causing her to hyperfocus on it.

"No time like the present,” he said, “and I am a man of science. Call it professional curiosity, if you like. May I?"

He'd called her bluff, and after her own assertion she felt she had little choice but to accept the consequences. At last Aurelia nodded, stiffly, trying to ignore the faintly triumphant curl to his answering smile.

His hand cupped her jaw, warm and callused fingertips trailing the shell of her ear, palm just barely cradling the soft skin over her throat. If he wished he could close his grip and tighten it, squeeze until she had no air to breathe- but the Echo would have warned her of any killing intent. Although it gave her no indication of any danger from him, it took a conscious effort not to bolt under his arm and flee the tent. Tension thrummed through her frame like a live wire.

Nero leaned inward until they were cheek to cheek. Her breath hitched for the briefest of moments when she felt the light scrape of stubble and caught his scent: some kind of aftershave perhaps, a bit stringent but not unpleasant, and the heat in her belly clenched tight. Lips lingered at her ear and she could feel the tribunus' warm breath fanning very lightly across her skin.

Then he began to speak.

Sotto voce, in their native Garlean tongue. A soft, soporific rumble, breath just slightly uneven- and not the mildly suggestive banter or off-color jokes she’d expected but a soldier's words of coupling, rough and lascivious and filthy.

All of it aimed at her.

Her grip on the table tightened as she willed herself to remain still through the impulse to slap him or shove him away in shocked mortification, as he well knew a proper young lady of gentle birth would have been expected to do. He knew, too; could sense her dismay, how much it cost her just to maintain some semblance of composure, and he wasn't fooled by it.

He was laughing at her, the bastard: she could hear the soft, breathy chuckles woven through his unending stream of vulgarities. Her face felt as though he had set it afire and she knew she was probably bright red right down to the roots of her hair---and then she felt the press of his mouth, a light kiss along the juncture of her jaw just beneath the earlobe.

A hot shudder of anticipation warped its way down her spine.

"So the eikon-slayer is undone by a bit of bawdy talk after all." He had not moved his lips away from her skin before speaking. She could feel the heat of his breath against her, warm and velvet and damp and gods, he was practically purring in her ear- "It would appear your theory has been disproven, hero."

She found herself unable to respond, mouth feeling suddenly very dry, swallowing with some effort. The clicking sound her throat made in her ears as she did was so, so loud.

And before she had quite managed to gather her wits again, Nero tol Scaeva straightened his posture and backed away from her position against the table with a mocking bow before tucking the journal in his coat pocket and strolling towards the tent flap. Turning his back on her, quite deliberately, and making his exit.

As though the entire exchange had never occurred.

She let out the exhalation she hadn't realized she was holding, sagging back against the sturdy oak surface of Rammbroes’ makeshift writing desk and attempting to ease her breathing into something resembling an even pace. He'd left her rattled and flustered and... burning. There was a deep, aching knot of tension that had formed in the base of her belly, one that would not fade quickly.

And she suspected that like as not, he’d only done it to prove a point, namely that his wits were malms beyond hers and her victory in the Praetorium had been but a simple fluke, a stroke of blind luck.

Small wonder Cid's hackles had been raised by his mere presence. Hells take him, the man was utterly insufferable.

After some time had passed (and the heat in her cheeks had faded), she slipped out of Rammbroes' "study" and saddled her chocobo. She had to talk to Cid about this, she decided, regardless of how sour his mood might be. Someone was going to have to keep an eye on Nero once they set foot in the tower, and given everyone else’s relative importance in the grand scheme of things, it might as well be her; she could endure his baiting so long as she made sure they had an understanding.

Aurelia didn’t see any sign of him on her way out of the camp. Doubtlessly he’d gone in search of someone or something else to act as his temporary source of entertainment until the expedition into the Tower was underway, she thought. She could not well decide if she was disappointed or relieved.

But if he planned to behave this way the entire time, it was going to be a very, very long expedition indeed.

#nero/wol #nero tol scaeva/warrior of light #another wip bites the dust #i'll leave what he actually said to your imaginations #stupid sexy garleans

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750dinozaur · 5 years

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The Sunflare Pyro, my Crash Maul-inspired Pyro oc :>

He’s on the RED team with RHTE (Rabid-Heavy Taming Engie) and is like his second in command, he loves getting to fight and usually protects Engie from pretty bad situations and helps him care for Mr. Rabid Heavy

He’s pretty chill most of the time and has a lot of patience, but when he runs out of it he’ll explode, both angrily and physically exploding whatever building he’s in, which usually ends up in a lot of dead BLUs

He wears the Burning Question and a torn up/singed flannel jacket and shirt, along with torn up dark brown pants and black boots, his left eyesocket-thing is broken and he can see through the Pyro-vision

He runs the Backburner, Scorch Shot, and Homewrecker (for other engies on his team)

#oc #tf2 #team fortress 2 #pyro #tf2 pyro #tf2 oc #crash maul #rabid heavy taming engineer

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vonbaghager · 6 years

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Y’know a lot of Gmod/SFM vids rely entirely too much on lolrandom humor and come in every form of quality from eye-searingly god-awful to professionally made film-quality works (usually some shade of god-awful though)

but god damn do i love them for those very qualities. i recently went on a hunt for a bunch of my old favorites and once again came across Crash Maul’s beautiful creations so if you’ve got around half an hour to kill watch:

Rise of the Epic Scout

Meet the Rabid Heavy-Taming Engineer

The Fight for Sawmill

in that order, since they’re set in the same ‘universe.’

Also, DasBoSchitt’s Gmod Idiot Box series (give this vid a watch before Ep 10, and this one a watch after 10) runs the full gamut of lolrandom awful animations all the way up to bits and pieces of actual plot + great animations as he gets a better hang of the whole system. It’s fun to watch a creator grow and refine their techniques. also this creation of his is p good too.

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latestnews2018-blog · 6 years

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We Don't Need 'Who Is America?' To Tell Us How Bad Things Are

New Post has been published on https://latestnews2018.com/we-dont-need-who-is-america-to-tell-us-how-bad-things-are/

We Don't Need 'Who Is America?' To Tell Us How Bad Things Are

His pants lowered to bare his buttocks, Georgia state Rep. Jason Spencer scuttled backward at his opponent, who was portraying an Islamic terrorist. “America!” Spencer bellowed. “I will turn you into a homosexual!” he tells the terrorist.

Welcome to the second episode of Sacha Baron Cohen’s Showtime comedy “Who Is America?” The premiere arrived last week on a wave of critical buzz, thanks to a torrent of outraged statements from conservative politicos who’d been fooled by the actor into advocating for the arming of small children.

But despite the anticipation, the debut ratings were dismal. Though the numbers edged up with encore and On Demand viewings, viewership was weak compared with the debuts of cable TV’s recent successful political comedies, like TBS’s “Full Frontal with Sam Bee” and HBO’s “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.” Even Comedy Central’s “The Opposition with Jordan Klepper,” canceled thanks to abysmal ratings after one season, started stronger than Baron Cohen’s new vehicle.

Why is “Who Is America?” opening with more of a whimper than a bang? Perhaps we’re tired of political humor, or it’s been too long since Baron Cohen’s last hit. Or perhaps this particular brand of comedic exposé has lost its appeal. After all, it’s not like we really need it anymore to grasp how bad things are.

Not that Sunday night’s segment with Spencer wasn’t jaw-dropping. The Republican lawmaker believed he was taking part in anti-terrorism training with an Israeli former military officer, Erran Morad (Baron Cohen in heavy, rather obvious makeup). Morad put Spencer through his paces, having him participate in exercises in which he yelled racial slurs as a diversionary tactic, performed an offensive parody of a Chinese tourist, and took an upskirt photo of a person in a burka to check for weaponry.

It was an astonishing display, even for a politician previously best known for threatening a former Democratic state rep — a black woman — that she might “go missing” in the swamp due to her public support for removing Confederate statues. Spencer, who in May’s GOP primary lost his bid for a fifth term, put out a statement before this embarrassing footage aired, saying, “It is clear the makers of this film intended to deceive me in an attempt to undermine the American conservative political movement.”

But meanwhile, the party’s leader, President Donald Trump, was in the midst of a rather typical evening of tweeting: referring to his long-ago opponent in the presidential election as “Crooked Hillary,” then sending an all-caps threat of military engagement to President Hassan Rouhani of Iran.

Of course, no statement needed to be issued to explain how the president was tricked into this unhinged behavior. With Trump leading the way, conservatives have become more and more comfortable showing their own asses unprompted.

Sure, it’s still quite alarming to see lobbyists and congressional representatives eagerly advocate arming kindergartners with stuffed animal guns. In the most successful sketch from the premiere, Morad peddles a program, “Kinder-Guardians,” intended to solve America’s school shooting epidemic by arming schoolchildren as young as four. As a work of entertainment, the segment is masterful ― and it takes the gun debate in a daring direction by pulling in the right-wing fascination with Israel and its military culture.

Showtime

Gun rights advocate Philip Van Cleave participating in an fictional ad campaign for stuffed animal guns for children in the premiere of “Who Is America?”

The Republicans caught by the Kinder-Guardians trick are defensive and embarrassed, at least for now. Being fooled by a liberal comedian makes them look gullible. But then again, they really weren’t fooled into revealing much that didn’t already exist out in the open.

There was a moment, when “Da Ali G Show” and “The Daily Show” were in their prime, that comedy like this could be genuinely revealing. In the old-fashioned days of the aughts, seeing Baron Cohen or a “Daily Show” correspondent coax a shocking statement out of a public figure, or even a random person on the street, had the power to truly jolt us. Comedy interviews stood to expose the depths of our fellow humans’ carefully hidden cravenness, bigotry, ignorance, extremism.

“Da Ali G Show” character Borat Sagdiyev, a Kazakh reporter also played by Baron Cohen, made a specialty of baiting subjects with his own professed anti-Semitism, racism and sexism. During a wine-tasting segment, he asked Norman Harris, the head of a Mississippi wine organization, whether the black waiter was “his slave.” Harris responded that slavery had been outlawed, which was a good thing. “For them,” he added. “For you, not so much!” Borat replied jovially. Harris agreed.

“That guy normally would never say that he thought it’s a shame that slavery doesn’t exist anymore,” Baron Cohen told The New York Times. “But because he’s in the room with somebody who’s totally naïve and seems to not mind that slavery existed, he was fully honest.”

By comfortably displaying racist views, a character like Borat made interviewees feel safe in revealing their own. In another interview, the comedian described the technique as “a dramatic demonstration of how racism feeds on dumb conformity as much as rabid bigotry.”

Now, 14 years later, that seems hard to dispute. We don’t even need to turn to edgy comedy for overt demonstrations of the phenomenon. Trump himself functions as an always-in-character version of what Baron Cohen pretends to be for a comedy show: a public figure who offers tacit encouragement for others to voice and enact bigotry by doing so himself.

Baron Cohen’s variety of comedic exposé was perfectly engineered for a time when the kind of middle-class white liberals who watched “Ali G” and “The Daily Show” weren’t confronted with the extremity of others’ views all the time. Back then, it was relatively easy to avoid people who think things were better before the Civil War or that, I don’t know, you should give high-powered weaponry to children on the cusp of learning to use a fork.

But we’re bathed in it now, in the ambient Pizzagate conspiracy theories and “build the wall” rants we face on every platform. We don’t need Borat to bust GOP officials and candidates when they’re recklessly posting racist memes to their own Facebook pages.

As for random citizens, they easily can, and do, broadcast their own anti-Semitic, misogynistic, anti-gun control and racist views to Twitter ― no comedic sting required. During the second episode, NPR host Dr. Nira Cain-N’Degeocello, another Baron Cohen character, announces the construction of an enormous new community mosque to a meeting of Kingman, Arizona, residents. They respond with trembling outrage; one shouts that he identifies as “racist against Muslims,” and several more argue that they already tolerate black people, although they don’t like it. The scene felt gratuitously painful, an unfunny rehash of a racist debate we already know too well.

Then again, much of Baron Cohen’s shtick has always been a straightforward troll. In “Who Is America?,” he subjects Bernie Sanders to a mathematically incomprehensible presentation on how to move all of the 99 percent into the 1 percent while the senator, with a single-mindedness familiar to those who followed the 2016 Democratic primary, steered the conversation back to his stump speech. This showed nothing new about Sanders, but Baron Cohen didn’t seem to be aiming to.

Showtime

“Bachelor” star Corinne Olympios poses as an aid worker who helped combat an ebola outbreak in Sierra Leone. She didn’t perform such service, and the scene for the second episode of “Who Is America?” was filmed in front of a green screen.

Aside from Morad’s interviews with conservative officials and activists, Baron Cohen’s antics seemed tame, even pointless, compared with the charged conversations we deal with daily in real life. Take the segment in which one-time “Bachelor” star Corinne Olympios, while endorsing a fake charity supposedly providing relief for an Ebola outbreak in Sierra Leone, blankly reads a script for an ad urging people to support child soldiers by providing them with training and equipment. Yes, yes, reality stars will do anything for attention; it’s hard to recall a time when such a revelation would have rocked anyone to their core.

In “Who Is America?,” Baron Cohen repeatedly whiffs on opportunities to illuminate what bizarre things people really would support. Why send an absurd parody of a lefty NPR host to the home of GOP local bigwigs? Without exactly giving a flattering read to the Trump-supporting couple, it does offer them an opportunity to politely condemn behavior that most on the left would also decry, like forcing a young girl to stand while urinating. The takeaway is muddled at best. Getting liberals to cosign those choices on camera ― that might be a coup.

Resurrecting his particular brand of stunt comedy journalism ― honed in a very different cultural and political context ― for a Trump era already awash in gleeful incompetence, extremism and trolling, might seem like a perfect fit for the times. Instead, it’s outdated. (Perhaps that’s partly due to the outdated writers’ room, which consists entirely of men, including one who lost his job on “Inside Amy Schumer” after publicly bragging about choking his ex and sending hordes of sexist trolls after female writers.)

We also must ask whether his approach could be as harmful as it is informative and entertaining. Baron Cohen’s provocations have always raised the question of whether the end of exposing prejudice justifies the means of recreating it, and the evidence is piling up that comic bigotry may only make people more comfortable with the real thing. Take the spillage of Reddit Nazism-for-lolz into genuine radicalization and violence. Take Trump himself.

GOP politicians certainly haven’t become less openly racist, anti-Semitic, anti-Islam and sexist than they were when Baron Cohen first started scamming them in the early aughts. And given how far-right shit-posting has likely helped accommodate the country to outright white nationalism, I found myself wondering uncomfortably whether the guns-for-kids stunt on “Who Is America?” might not also be absorbed into the political debate. Maybe irony can move the Overton Window, too.

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bestautochicago · 6 years

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First Drive: 2018 BMW M5

LISBON, PORTUGAL — The story of the BMW M5 is a fascinating and iconic tale. It was born in 1984, when the fabulous M88 3.5-liter straight-six from the mid-engine M1 supercar was dropped into the shark-nosed, razor-sharp E28 5 Series.

Its replacement, the E34, stayed true to the first car’s formula, with more power and a chassis honed to a deliciously sharp edge. Significant changes were applied to the third M5, the E39, specifically the addition of a 5.0-liter V-8. At first, the purists cried. Then they drove it and those tears of sadness turned to sobs of joy. For the next generation BMW unleashed the wildest M5 of them all, the E60, with its howling 5.0-liter V-10 that revved to a heavenly 8,250 rpm. It had its flaws, but damn it was special.

It seemed the M crew from Munich could do no wrong with what had become BMW’s definitive super sedan.

But that was then. The car we’ve come to Portugal to drive on the face of it has abandoned every principle on which the M5 legend was founded. The all-new F90 series 2018 BMW M5 features a twin-turbocharged engine. It is fitted with a fully automatic gearbox. And–the horror–it’s now all-wheel drive.

The missing link in this story, the outgoing F10 M5, was heavy, slightly ponderous, and only really came alive at unspeakable speeds. The F10 ushered in BMW’s 4.4-liter twin-turbocharged V-8 and a greater focus on luxury. It simply didn’t feel special enough to be an M5. Fantastically capable, yes, but rather cold.

How to superheat the M5 formula once again? I can think of a million ways, but the adoption of all-wheel drive, switching from a dual-clutch transmission to a ZF 8-speed automatic, and focusing even more on luxury for $103,595 large doesn’t make the list. In fact, it suggests that BMW either doesn’t know how to recapture the old M5 magic or simply doesn’t care to do so.

At least that’s the narrative I was expecting to report. However, it pays to be open-minded, for this M5 has rediscovered the magic: It’s more aggressive, the ride is busy and uncompromising, it has simply sensational performance, and the all-wheel drive system is wonderfully fluid and playful. And if you really must exit every corner with a full turn of opposite lock? Just stick it in rear-wheel drive mode and enjoy the sort of over-the-limit balance that has always been an M5 hallmark.

Before we explore the car further, let’s go back to the makeup of this mighty machine. It features a revised version of the 4.4-liter twin-turbo V-8 that now produces 600 horsepower and 553 lb-ft of torque, which is mated to the aforementioned 8-speed automatic gearbox. Thanks in part to the new M xDrive all-wheel drive system, it reaches 60 mph in 3.2 seconds can run from 0-124 mph in 11.1 seconds. With the optional M Driver’s Package, it’s also capable of a top speed of 189 mph.

M xDrive essentially allows the M5 to drive the rear wheels only for much of the time, the central clutch pack only sending power forward when the rear starts to lose grip or under sudden acceleration, when extra stability is needed. The rear axle also features the familiar M Differential, although the four-wheel steering system seen on the M550i xDrive was omitted from the M5 to save weight. That seems a strange decision as it works so well on everything from a Porsche 911 GT3 to an M760Li and would surely afford the M5 even greater agility.

Of course, the M5 offers a wide range of adjustment for pretty much every aspect of its dynamic personality. There are Comfort, Sport, and Sport Plus settings for the dampers, steering and throttle mapping, plus three modes for the gearbox, and you can run with full DSC in the more relaxed MDM mode or with stability control dialed out completely. On top of that, the M xDrive has three modes: 4WD, 4WD Sport, or RWD. You can only select the latter two modes when you disengage DSC, but confusingly, 4WD Sport defaults to MDM mode for the stability control, whereas selecting RWD forces you to run completely without electronic intervention. You have been warned.

If this all sounds horribly complex…well, it is. But helpfully the M5 has two preset buttons on the steering wheel labeled M1 and M2. The idea is to let you experiment with the car’s various modes and settings until you’re happy to commit to two pre-programmed and very personal setups. For the launch event held near Lisbon, M1 kept the car in standard 4WD with steering, engine mapping, and dampers in Comfort—and the gearbox in its most serene mode. M2 ramped things up to 4WD Sport with MDM mode for the stability systems, Sport for steering and dampers, Sport Plus for engine mapping, and tickled the gearbox tickled up to level two of three.

The first surprise? Even in docile M1, the M5 feels eager—aggressive, even. The engine doesn’t have the pumped-up theater of the E63 S, but it matches it for response and revs, with even more energy at the top end. The ride is taut and controlled, too. Over short, sharp bumps the M5 fidgets and thumps. Up the speed and things smooth out, but only a little. On Portugal’s pretty decent highway system the M5 feels never less than firm. Turn on to smaller, more interesting roads and the uncompromising feel of the chassis translates into real agility, excellent body control, and a feeling that this all-wheel drive system favors the rear wheels at all times.

I haven’t mentioned the gearbox yet because it took a while for me to remember it wasn’t a dual-clutch unit. Yes, it’s more mannered than the old M DCT ’box at low speeds, but it’s also more decisive and punchier when you’re exercising the twin-turbo mill.

In M2 mode, the M5 hits hard and clean, and every shift is tight and synchronized perfectly with my requests on the steering wheel-mounted paddles. It doesn’t have that super clean and almost magical feeling of the best dual-clutch ‘boxes, but it’s pretty close and beats rivals like the AMG or the Cadillac CTS-V hands down. I can’t think of an automatic that feels this responsive save the 10-speed unit in the Lexus LC 500.

So it takes just a few miles to be deeply impressed with the M5. In fact impressed is the wrong word. The old car was impressive. The new M5 is fun and exciting—and pretty uncompromising, too. In full luxury mode it, feels like a proper sports sedan; dial everything up to Sport Plus and it’s almost rabid. On these narrow, craggy roads the M5 actually works best with the dampers in Comfort, while Sport Plus feels like a racetrack only setting, which is handy as I’m following brown signs marked ‘Autodromo.’ Estoril is awaiting our arrival.

The old F1 circuit is delightfully shabby with huge, sun-bleached grandstands that reek of faded glory, but Estoril remains a serious test for any car, let alone a circa-4,250-pound monster like the 2018 M5. The M Division worked hard to keep weight down with items like a carbon-fiber roof and despite the adoption of all-wheel drive, the F90 is actually lighter than its predecessor. However, it never fulfils the old cliché of “shrinking around you” on the road. It’s a big car and it feels the part. This much mass plus AWD should mean understeer and plenty of it on the track, right?

Nope. The M5 wants to turn, though you have to be careful not to be too greedy on turn-in. Once the front tires bite and you’re on the throttle, the big sedan errs towards oversteer rather than howling push. The 4WD Sport mode really is effective and while the M5 doesn’t feel as deliberately rear-biased as the E63 S, its behavior is more fluid and natural. On the limit you tend to find some understeer on turn-in, followed by a lovely four-wheel drifting phase mid corner and a little flourish of oversteer on the way out. MDM mode allows you to experience this pretty well, but turn off all the stability systems and the easy-going nature of the M5 even when the tires are slipping and sliding is addictive.

The track also allows you to enjoy the M5’s engine at its full potential. With bigger turbochargers than the previous M5, greater boost pressure (24.5 psi vs. 21.8), and a higher-pressure and more precise fuel injection system, the 4.4-liter V-8 simply chews up straights. The noise feels a little artificial and is clearly augmented by the speakers—and if you love the gargling-with-ball-bearings and spewing V-8 fire and brimstone of an AMG, the M5 sounds a little tame—yet the work it does cannot be criticized. Its character comes not from the soundtrack but from a cocktail of precision and organ-crushing power.

It’s enough to test the optional carbon ceramic brakes to the absolute limit around Estoril. The pedal goes long after a few laps and the M5 starts to shimmy and dance as the braking performance is tested, but they’re going through an extreme and unrealistic regimen: Five fast laps with a half-hearted cool down lap, sit in the pits for three or four minutes soaking up all the heat as drivers swap, then repeat until the fuel tank is dry or the tires are worn out. On the road, there were no issues, but such is the performance on offer here. Given the weight being hauled around, I suspect the carbon ceramics would be well worth the outlay.

By the end of the day the F90 M5 has confounded my expectations. Rather than moving away from the old M5 formula, it has used new technologies to return closer to it. This is a super sedan that can be used every day yet always feels special and doesn’t compromise outright performance for a veneer of luxury.

It’s also an M5 to the core. Breaking all the rules, I tried one lap in RWD mode. The tires needed changing by the time I returned to the pit lane. Welcome back. We’ve missed you.

2018 BMW M5 Specifications

ON SALE Now PRICE $103,595 (base) ENGINE 4.4L twin-turbo DOHC 32-valve V-8/600 hp @ 5,700-6,600 rpm, 553 lb-ft @ 1,800-5,700 rpm TRANSMISSION 8-speed automatic LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, AWD sedan EPA MILEAGE 16/23 mpg (city/hwy) L x W x H 195.5 x 74.9 x 58.0 in WHEELBASE 117.4 in WEIGHT 4,255 lb 0-60 MPH 3.1 sec TOP SPEED 155 mph (189 mph w/M Driver’s Package)

Source: http://chicagoautohaus.com/first-drive-2018-bmw-m5/

from Chicago Today https://chicagocarspot.wordpress.com/2017/12/15/first-drive-2018-bmw-m5/

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