had this been done

Shane laughing at the pterodactyl dinner has me dead

The return of puppet history (and our beloved professor) raises a very important question:

Since The Professor is seemingly alive (at least sort of), do we still hold Ryan accountable for his murder? He doesn't seem to be dead which means that technically, Ryan DIDN'T murder him, and we know that Ryan didn't originally WANT to kill him in the first place, so how are we supposed to react to this???

this episode was just. we're a family who loves and supports each other no matter. i want to protect my family so i'll pretend that everything's fine because i want them to be happy. we can't stop time but we can learn to enjoy the present. we can't stop time but we can love and live as much as we can now. sometimes you have to stop and slow down and just enjoy the world or you'll keep going forever with no purpose. the earth is so beautiful and despite our grim future and bloody past we're alive here and now and friendship is so important and

The puppet history finale has me feeling like this (I have a drawing of the professor and Ryan sketched out I just haven’t colored it yet but it will happen I promise)

I hope the Puppet History team knows that my roommate and I changed our contact names to Beef Boi (mine for them) and Blue Ballsack (theirs for me) respectively because we had Emotions about the finale

its been a long a winding trip

and who'd thought it 'd come to this

the end of days, a cosmic kiss

//

Puppet History Season 5 finale "The Dreadful Demise of the Dinosaurs"

Ryan taller than Shane? Now I've seen it all

No, because how did a history show finale about a blue puppet and his Dino parents make me cry a little?

dear estranged executive producer of puppet history Mr. Shane Madej, if you were on set during the filming of the finale, please let us know what exactly Ryan wished for and the words he used when talking to that sly devious genie, with love, your puppethanded historyheads

So I don't mean to bring on the anxiety or give any ideas or anything but like.... fake!Professor- Hologram Professor isn't necessarily gone. Yes, he was thrown through a window, but even in the defenestrations of Prague episode, he said that it didn't always kill them. There is no real confirmation that he is dead. I mean how do you even kill a hologram? I'm a little worried we haven't seen the last of him.

the earth is really beautiful in shanes eyes and for this reason im gonna marry him platonically

confession time:

i haven't really been keeping up to date on the latest season of puppet history but what i DID do is get together with my best friend (a fellow watcher enjoyer, the ryan to my shane) and watch the final puppet history episode with absolutely zero context. what's even better is that she hasn't seen a single episode of puppet history ever. safe to say it was a phenomenal experience, as we were constantly on the edge of our seats waiting for shit to go down as we simultaneously pointed and giggled at the little dinosaurs and said "they're just like us". it felt like the ultimate game of russian roulette because all we could do was sit and wonder "what will shane madej do this time?" with absolutely zero idea what happened in the previous four or five episodes. when the professor and his adorable dino parents started to get all deep and existential we just sort of looked at each other confused as to why we were almost being brought to tears by this silly little puppet show we were watching in order to see ryan bergara fist fight a blue cotton ball. i was sort of in awe of how the episode took such a profound emotional stance on the meaning of life and how much people mean to you AND THEN IT CUT TO RYAN AND THE HOLOGRAM PROFESSOR BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER AND THE JUXTAPOSITION OF THOSE TWO SCENES ALONE SHOULD WIN THIS SERIES AN AWARD! let it be known we cheered immensely as we watched beef boy call the feral glitchy furball a "little blue ballsack" AND REPEATEDLY PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE (which OBVIOUSLY made us lose our shit). all that aside though, i think the best moment of this episode was the fact that shane madej decided to write a JINGLE for THE HOLO-PROFESSOR BEING THROWN OUT THE WINDOW. IT WAS PEAK CINEMA.

anyways the episode was so good and shane, ryan, and all the other folks over at watcher always slay

and here comes the window with a steel chair