Heart of hearts by apathyinreverie

Heart of hearts

by apathyinreverie (@apathyinreverie)

M, WIP, Series, 23k, Wangxian

Summary: It won't be until several days later that Wangji will know to be grateful for Jiang Wanyin’s insistence to split up in their search. (Or, JC and LWJ spend those months searching separately and LWJ ends up finding Wei Ying a little earlier. Wei Ying who doesn’t remember anything beyond his own name. So, LWJ takes his chance and takes Wei Ying home. To Gusu.) Kay's comments: AO3 user apathyinreverie has done it again and left me absolutely devaststed. When I originally bookmarked this, it wasn't a series yet and more of a WIP (?) but now, a second work has been posted and it's probably going to be finished soon. I love this start to a canon divergence, where Lan Wangji is the one who finds Wei Wuxian after his time in the Burial Mounds, without Jiang Cheng being there and with Wei Wuxian suffering from memory loss. As devastating as it is, Lan Wangji gets to see the full extent of the hurt Wei Wuxian suffered in the Burial Mounds and also gets to be beside him before he managed to build his walls up again. Really loved this, so heart-breaking, so soft. Excerpt: Wei Ying. Wei Ying is here. Alive. Wei Ying who looks terrified of him. Wei Ying who drips resentment as though oversaturated. Wei Ying who looks barely present but still, somehow, desperately unbroken. “Wei Ying,” Wangji breathes, aching at the terror swimming in his zhiji’s eyes. There is the slightest falter in Wei Ying’s posture at the sound of his name, a sudden uncertainty in his eyes, dragging to focus quickly on Wangji’s hand that had so briefly lingered against his shoulder, as though uncertain whether what he felt might have been real. “Wei Ying,” Wangji repeats, desperate and joyous and devastated at the state he is in. He watches Wei Ying’s grip on the blackened flute loosening, the dark swirls of energy around his feet calming slightly. There is silence, a careful sort of quiet as neither of them speaks. “You know me?” Wei Ying finally asks, voice roughened in a way that speaks of no words spoken for months and entire weeks spent screaming at the same time, a helpless uncertainty vibrating within. There is no recognition in Wei Ying’s eyes. As though Wangji were a stranger. “You’re real?” he adds carefully, softly, breaking Wangji’s heart further.

pov lan wangji, canon divergence, not cultivation world friendly, memory loss, amnesia, hurt wei wuxian, possessive lan wangji, protective lan wangji, domestic lan wangji/wei wuxian, caring lan wangji, caring, bathing/washing, golden core reveal, golden core transfer fix-it, wei wuxian goes to gusu, sunshot campaign, wei wuxian's three months in the burial mounds, hurt/comfort, wei wuxian has ptsd

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💠💙Heart of hearts

By:apathyinreverie

Summary:

It won't be until several days later that Wangji will know to be grateful for Jiang Wanyin’s insistence to split up in their search.

(Or, JC and LWJ spend those months searching separately and LWJ ends up finding Wei Ying a little earlier. Wei Ying who doesn’t remember anything beyond his own name. So, LWJ takes his chance and takes Wei Ying home. To Gusu.)

Chapter:1/1

Words:3,729

Status:completed

~~~~~

💠💙At heart

By:apathyinreverie

Summary:

“No need to look so serious, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying laughs across from him, both elbows leaned on the table between them, chin resting in his hands as his eyes curve in his merriment, lively and joyful and breathtaking in his beauty. “I don’t really care whether I might have lived somewhere else before. As long as I get to stay with you now.”

“Always,” Wangji returns fiercely.

Chapter;6/7

Words;8,124

Status;ongoing

This fic is two part,part one is when Lan Wangji found wei wuxian.

Lan Wangji is very protective and soft with wei wuxian

Wei Ying does not want to return to that life. A life that barely seemed to have Lan Zhan in it. So, he let himself be selfish. Disgustingly so. He let Lan Zhan remain in the belief that he had no memories of his life before, uncertain what it might do to Lan Zhan’s image of him if he knew how abhorrently selfish Wei Ying was being. He could not bear to lose this, the unquestioning welcome so readily offered He’d had Lan Zhan and the bunnies. He’d been happy. Rather incandescently so. And then the war came knocking, taking Lan Zhan away from him. For a week, then two, then a month, then almost two. With no definitive end in sight. It is unacceptable.

~~~

Sleep would not come to him any longer afterwards. Selfish. Unfilial. Disloyal. With his self-recriminations, his memories also returned in full. Memories of a childhood maybe not as carefree and protected as one might hope but certainly better than what he would have been afforded if Uncle Jiang had left him on the streets. Memories of a life lived on debts. For all that he loved his sect and martial siblings fiercely, he had never been unaware of the expectations connected to his presence at Lotus Pier. However, he has already repaid his debts in full. He bears the scars of Zidian on his back for the disruption of peace he brought to the family that took him in. He bears the scar and memories of agony for the Golden Core he gave to Yunmeng Jiang in repayment for teaching him how to form one in the first place. He is free of debts, if only because he has nothing else to give anyone at all.

~~

He still adores his Shijie, still feels indebted to Uncle Jiang, still wants safety and happiness for Jiang Cheng, still loathes the Wen for burning down Lotus Pier, a place he considered his home. But. While he recalls his utter devotion to Yunmeng Jiang for giving him a home when he had nothing, he also recalls that none of that was ever for Wei Ying’s sake, merely a debt Uncle Jiang felt the need to repay. He recalls Zidian ripping into his back as Shijie stood off to the side, watching, looking distraught, but not doing anything to help. He recalls claiming Jiang Cheng as a brother, just as he recalls never having that claim returned.

Bare skin, bare feelings.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

See you guys you won’t see me for a while cause I’m going to cry over this now ✌️

So you know how Lan Xichen told Lan Wangji that Wei Wuxian was dead? After his discipline strikes and then he like, set aside the pain from that and went to the burial mounds to confirm wwx was gone?

What if he wasn’t.

What if he lived and returned to the burial mounds. And the seize never happened. The details on how we got there are hand wavy at best right now.

But what if it was just that the Lans decided it was in their best interest to tell Wangji he was gone so he’d stop getting involved with him-

Can you imagine wwx’s reaction to lwj showing up to the burial mounds the way he did? He was practically half dead

Random guy : no one cares whether you live or die Yiling Laozu

Wwx : okay...?

Lwj : mn...

Random guy : see?! Even Hanguangjun agrees

Wwx : nah you misunderstood, lan Zhan actually meant same goes for you

Lwj : mn...

Random guy : what- *dies*

People who excessively hate on lan xichen and paint him as some kind of villain in a quest to simplify a complex, open-ended narrative are both boring and incorrect

Get lost

The Untamed Wangji guarding Wuxian

Lan Zhan every single time he gets the chance:

Lan Zhan when Jiang Yanli has to die:

//Error 404: character not found// Therefore, the events:

Hanguang-Jumpkick

[First] Prev <–-> Next

In terms of what the mdzs novel ending leaves open and unresolved i don't think we talk about lan wangji enough.

Like. This is not lwj slander I love him but the novel pretty clearly sets it up that Xichen takes care of wangji more than the reverse. It makes sense, he's the older sibling after all. But lwj, for the rest of the story, is very much a guy whose priorities are wwx first wwx second and MAYBE you get to take third place if you're lucky. And he mourned Wei Wuxian for 13 years!! And he finally has him back! Of COURSE that's what he's gonna be like. But then as they settle into domestic bliss you see him have this uncomfortable realization that his older brother's been going through an incredibly difficult time, one reminiscent of the one he went through that his brother stood unflinchingly by his side for, and he... just wasn't there. He didn't even think about it, the realization only comes months later.

And to me that looks a lot like potential setup for a mini arc postcanon where lwj relearns how to care about and prioritize things and people that are not Wei Wuxian, a thing he can do now precisely because Wei Ying is safe and securely by his side.

With wei wuxian it's very clear for a reader to see that he has not wrapped things up with Jiang Cheng yet, he's got a burgeoning relationship with Jin Ling he'll want to work on, as well as catching up to do with Sizhui and Wen Ning once those two are done with their own little trip. He's a people person and that means he thrives when he's got lots of people he cares about around him! But lwj has spent the rest of the story in his "me and wei ying against the world" mentality and that ending sort of feels like a wake up call that maybe... it's not like that anymore? Not for everyone at least. There might be place for other people, too.

so i was thinking about lan wangji and how he has this reputation of being righteous while also in my opinion acting like an asshole? like he acts very petty and is ready to pull his sword on people a lot and isn't really involved in politics even in a way that makes sense as a high ranking member of a sect? like the silencing spell on jin ling is uh. bad.

it's like lan wangji has scary dog privilege by virtue of his reputation and his brother and uncle who will wreck you if you do or say anything to/about him. except thats not right because theyre not scary dogs at all, they just protect him. it's like lan wangji is a scary dog and lan xichen and lan qiren smooth things over and stop him from doing something too awful and calm others down after lan wangji does something not too great. and i guess with the reputation for being righteous (second jade of lan) is enough to deter people from saying/doing things like "hey he's a dick" because dude that's hanguang-jun, what are you talking about???".

and the people he saves on night hunts or whatever are random civilians who don't interact with him enough to see him behave badly, and a cool and aloof powerful cultivator saving them gets a lot of leeway on account of being a famous powerful cultivator and also being someone who saved them from fierce corpses or spirits or healed their kid or grandparent or whatever. who cares if theyre quiet and kinda rude they saved their sister!!!!!

so when lan wangji is a dick to jin ling or fucks off from political stuff or is ready to pull his sword on jiang cheng in the jiang ancestral hall or whatever he's doing so with the reputation of hanguang-jun who saves people and also is supported by lan xichen (lan sect leader and brother) and lan qiren (former acting sect leader, uncle, teacher) and they are protective and dare i say overindulgent of lan wangji???? like bro you are a political figure whether you like it or not, your actions have effects on things besides your own direct personal circle. like the heir of gusu lan pulling a sword on sect leader jiang is fucking political incident whether or not theyre both being assholes or not. the adult heir of gusu lan using the lan silencing spell on the teenage heir of lanling jin is a political incident. not engaging with other sects politically, ever, says important things about your priorities and your influence both within the sect and without.

also like. what if something happened to gusu lan? like say lan xichen is injured, and lan qiren is also out of commission for some reason? that means lan wangji is acting sect leader. can you IMAGINE lan wangji as sect leader. imagine it. really visualize it. there's a lot of jokes about lan wangji being a petty bitch and people love it but imagine a petty bitch as a sect leader. the situation would blow up faster than lans get drunk on a glass of wine. like dude. so much stuff would be totally fucked.

anyway lan wangji as he is in mdzs would be a shit sect leader/chief cultivator/etc. he doesn't behave like he's intimately involved in the politics of his world (which he is) and may or may not have training in doing so - maybe he has training and just doesn't do it? which is also really bad, then he would know better and still not do it or help in any way.

I made new header for here :3

Let's just not question where are Bichen and Lan Wangji's guqin 😌

Please do not repost ~

man you really are what you eat. i’m out here on tumblr dot com clutching goldenloin and all his terrible choices to my chest like he’s a talisman who will protect me from bad takes about romance novels.