So in my last post, I talked a lot about what I think they’re doing with the New Republic.  Or at least, what I think the point is.  (I think ultimately, we’ll see a move toward getting rid of the Imperial elements entirely.)

But I didn’t really get into why I think it’s happening in the Mandalorian.  After all, it’s not like Din Djarin will be out to fix the New Republic.

I think there are two reasons: first, Moff Gideon is still a factor.  He’s out there, and he’s going to be making trouble.   My guess is that Elia’s working for him, and that Pershing will be fair game once he’s had his sessions.

But I think there’s a second reason too.  And that’s the Children of the Watch.

Disclaimer: I ALSO still haven’t gotten around to watching the Clone Wars Mandalorian episodes (I really hate 3d animation!  Sorry!) so I may be utterly flubbing up details.

As always, take me with a grain of salt.

-

So, Bo-Katan Kryze.  I love her.  I think her plot right now is fascinating.  I really never expected to see her welcomed into the covert, or, at least for now, actually making a genuine attempt to live according to their customs.  (Did Din realize that she’d be welcomed in?  Is that why he’d recommended she not take off her helmet?)

I remember seeing some fan complaints about a twitter timeline that really seemed to white wash Bo-Katan and her past with the Death Watch, and presented both as opponents rather than allies/subordinates to Darth Maul.

It’s particularly interesting because in the first episode of the season Bo-Katan attacks the Children of the Watch, and other similar groups, for tearing apart Mandalore.  She conveniently forgets to mention that she was part of one of those groups.  Then we have that aforementioned twitter thing that mentions the Death Watch, but glosses over what they actually did.

It’s particularly interesting given that it’s very obvious that the Children of the Watch ARE Death Watch.  Or at least a splinter group from them.  They have a Vizsla.  Din lived on Concordia.  They could definitely be described as “embrac[ing] their history in combat” though they seem to avoid outright war.

That said, the Children of the Watch are also NOT the Death Watch.  They’re, by Mandalorian standards anyway, practically pacifistic.  They train to fight and defend themselves, but they don’t make war with anyone.  They live by a fairly draconian creed, but there’s no indication that they seek to force it on others.  Leaving aside the ethics of having a child swear to a binding oath before he’s fully able to understand (see also, the pre-Imperial Jedi), the punishment for breaking said oath is exile, not death.  They can choose to leave at any time.

It is rather fascinating how much that description fits the Jedi as well, but that’s another meta.

But they do seem to keep the trappings of the Death Watch, don’t they?  And how much do those trappings really mean?  We see the Children of the Watch through Din Djarin’s eyes, but we’ve established that there’s a fuck-lot that Din doesn’t know that he really should.

Is everyone on the same page about the Children of the Watch?  Does everyone want to be on the same page?

And then there’s Bo-Katan Kryze.  This is where my knowledge of the Clone Wars fails me, but I feel like the Children of the Watch probably are really attractive to her.  They’re traditionalists, but not terrorists.  She might find the helmet thing a little silly, but they seem to have some pretty compatible values deep down.  And after all her experiences, it might even feel good to strip away all the cosmopolitan trappings and feel the essence of being Mandalorian.

But she’s not a child.  She’s not Din Djarin thirty years ago or Ragnar Viszla now.  She has a past, and it’s a pretty bloody one.  And there’s a good chance that at least some of the people in that covert remember that.

I’m not sure how old Paz Viszla is, but let’s assume he’s Din’s age or a little older.  But where did he come from?  Din kept his own name, though he hadn’t heard it in years.  Paz’s name is spoken all the time.  Dare we assume that he comes by it naturally?  And if so, then did he know Pre Vizsla?  Did he ever see Bo-Katan way back when?

And of course, there’s the Armorer, who wears Rook Kast’s colors and zabrak horns.  Have we ruled out that theory yet?  Would Bo-Katan recognize her?  Thirty years is a long time, and it’s easy to be blind to things we wouldn’t want to see.  Either way, the Armorer definitely knows Bo-Katan’s past.  

(There’s an interesting CBR article that theorizes that Bo will expose the Armorer, which is fair.  Rook Kast’s crimes far exceed Bo-Katan’s.  But Bo is still keeping her own secrets.)

At any rate, the Armorer is the one who issued the invitation to Bo-Katan, in the same episode that Elia Kane lured Doctor Pershing into a trap.  In a society that appears idealized, but still holds onto a lot of elements of its darker heritage.

Would an “it’s a trap” gif be appropriate here?  Because I kind of think it might be.

apart from the existing balance in relationships, honestly the top/bottom thing to me feels like people are trying to be subversive, like the whole "she pegs him!" thing, and i get the sentiment behind it but, i mean. whoever she is, she probably does not peg him. the enormous 6ft hunk guy probably does not bottom for his 5'2 twink boyfriend. the butch with the big boots with an affinity for punching people in the jaw probably is not the pillow princess for her tiny girlfriend with sharp makeup and high heels. it does happen, of course, but that's not how it works for real and the overpensation is tiring. i know if my friends kept making jokes about me being a huge bottom because i'm a butch, i would be VERY upset. my best friend is a flamboyant gay man who often jokes about how he hates topping. none of my straight lady friends pegs their boyfriends/husbands. idk, it feels like an out of body experience to see how people talk about these things here

anon i literally want to kiss you on the mouth for this right now

i don’t understand where the fuck this intense desire for subversion in queer relationships comes from in fandom but like,,,,,,, sometimes things just are what you would think

we certainly need to be open to things not being what we would expect but, like you said, most times the stone butch just IS a top. and that’s okay! holy fuck!

like me being butch does not fucking mean it would be quirky or funny or surprising for me to bottom and there is actually nothing wrong with me being a fucking top like,,,,,, leave me alone lmao i don’t owe u shit

it all ties into this deep belief that bottoming is somehow shameful or an inherent fuck you to the patriarchy which is why you get needy butch bottoms/pegging/twink top jokes in fandom constantly. it’s why cara delevigne thought wearing a “peg the patriarchy” dress was appropriate and not a disgustingly homophobic move

there’s nothing shameful about femmes bottoming in the EXACT same way that there’s nothing inherently violent or problematic about us butches topping. i truly wish fandom would grow up,,,,,,, that’s it

Trouble with Mama

Palais de Roufort | 1pm

Butler: Their Imperial Highnesses Princess Maria Aisha and Prince Henri and Her- Minerva: You'll never guess who I ran into Kat! Katalina: Let me guess.

Katalina: Judging by their guilty looks....you found my children who are supposed to be in school. [Maria Aisha and Henri gulp] Katalina: I'll deal with you two later

Minerva: I never pegged them to be so problematic....then again, Henri ratted his sister out quickly Katalina: They somehow get into trouble once a week at some point. Minerva: Katalina, you put too tight of a leash on them...with the security guard presence everywhere and the special agent that is their best friend- Katalina: It's not just me Katalina...David's also worried...ever since Isabella- Minerva: But you run the risk of them being too sheltered...you can't protect them from everything

Katalina: If they could just spend 2 months without getting into trouble...I'd be happy... Minerva: If you manage to separate Henri from Aisha, You'll get one good child Katalina[sighing]: she's just so difficult sometimes.

Katalina: Now tell me about the husband and the kids Minnie? You've heard me complain about my kids for a while... Minnie: Oh they are doing great though my dear sweet husband is probably spoiling them so much right now! [Both women laugh]

OC Inspirations: Devinahl & Indy

I was (delightfully) tagged by @vespertine-legacy​ a while ago and I’ve hesitated to do this because I knew I was going to talk WAY too much - but it was weighing on me, so I decided to open up about the sources from which I stole, that is, drew inspiration for Devinahl and Indirae.

What three fictional characters is your OC a combination of?  

This doesn’t apply to every OC - not even mine - but its certainly true for a few : Many of our characters are, to an extent, inspired by characters we see in movies, books, games, TV shows, etc.

Does this apply to any of your OCs? Was it a conscious decision on your part or not? Is your OC a combination of three (or more) fictional characters?

If so - post some GIFs / pics and tell us about them! What does your OC draw from other characters?

Too much Devinahl & Indy chat after the cut.

DEVINAHL

The truth is that when I came to creating my Imperial Agent Devinahl, and in particular fleshing out her backstory in far, far too much detail, there were some sources that I went to extremely explicitly and deliberately. And chief among them was ...

1. Garak, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

That’s right. Garak from Deep Space Nine. Plain, simple Garak. Outcast. Exile. Spy. Addict. Perennial liar. Patriot. Terrorist. Would-be genocider. Very good tailor.

(If you haven’t seen DS9, then you need to. It’s like Star Trek, but if it was actually good? And Garak is a big part of what elevates it.) 

Is it weird to compare my ancient video game Barbie/gorgeous sex bomb badass assassin and seductress to a cold-blooded space lizard who spends his days hemming pants? Possibly. But there are aspects of Garak’s character that, consciously and unconsciously, I made parts of Devinahl’s DNA. 

Firstly, Garak is a patriot. He loves Cardassia so much that despite seeing its flaws with absolute clarity, despite having been exiled and reviled by it, he would die without question to serve it (of course, he’d much rather make someone else die). And while seeing that as a weakness, despite knowing that the Cardassia he has committed to serving is disappearing before his eyes, there is still a part of him that believes that that commitment - that neverending sacrifice - is noble. The only noble part of him. That’s central to Devinahl’s character (which is, in turn, the way I made sense of the IA storyline). That while hating and despising the Sith, she would nevertheless believe in the Empire - not so much believe that it is good (at best, I think she sees it as order and stability where the Republic is corruption and chaos) as believe that her commitment to it is the only redeeming thing available to her.

Secondly, the way that Garak will take his needs, vulnerabilities, sincere emotions and package them in ways which gets him what he has to have to keep going, without ever giving up full control? Particularly in the extraordinary episode The Wire, in which a dying Garak tells Dr Bashir a series of lies about himself in order to elicit Bashir’s forgiveness, because he needs to be sincerely forgiven but without ever telling the truth?

Out of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren’t? My dear doctor, they’re all true. Even the lies?

That is everything I tried to do with Dev, particularly in my fic about her and SCORPIO, particularly when it comes to her and Arcann. To know what she needs, as Garak needs absolution from Bashir, and tell just enough truth - put herself into just vulnerable enough a position - to get it, but never without reserving something, holding something back, whether it’s the knowledge that she can maneouvre herself out of SCORPIO’s clutches at any time or her real name? That’s a fucking survivor.

Thirdly, the relationship between Devinahl and Sifter (the spymaster who finds her as a traumatised child and grooms her for Intelligence) and specifically, the deathbed scene I wrote in Riddle was directly inspired by Garak’s relationship with Enabran Tain and that death scene. 

Yes, Devinahl was not Sifter’s actual daughter, but in every real sense she was formed by Sifter - and had Sifter had just one day with Dev like Tain had with Garak, Dev would have been lost. She would have turned herself into a carbon copy of Sifter, and she would have died. But the bittersweetness? The acknowledgement that the parental figure you love will never, not even now that they’re dying, love you as you want them to?

‘I should have killed your mother before you were born. You have always been a weakness I can't afford.’ ‘So you've told me. Many times. ...’ ‘Elim, remember that day…in the country. You must've been almost five.’ ‘How can I forget it? It was the only day.’

(The love and infinite sadness with which Andrew Robinson says that line, ‘It was the only day’? I’m crying just thinking about it. Anyway, it was everything I was thinking about and wanted to achieve in that scene.)

Oh ... and Devinahl’s ambiguous relationship with her implants? Well, Garak also has an implant in his head. And that’s all I’m saying about that.

2. Oryx from Oryx & Crake by Margaret Atwood

A novel character rather than from TV or movies, I hope that’s OK. And I know that there are ... very problematic elements to the way Atwood writes about Oryx, her family, her culture, her background. But she was one of the strongest elements that went into creating Devinahl and her backstory.

There were specific aspects of the story Oryx tells to Jimmie - particularly the parts about being told to scream and make a fuss if a man tries to take you away to a hotel room, and then being told not to make a fuss when a man tries to take you away to a hotel room - that became part of Dev’s story. But there was also a general attitude and way of looking at life I wanted to capture and incorporate. Oryx’s philosophy of value?

Of course (said Oryx), having a money value was no substitute for love. Every child should have love, every person should have it. . . . but love was undependable, it came and then it went, so it was good to have a money value, because then at least those who wanted to make a profit from you would make sure you were fed enough and not damaged too much. Also there were many who had neither love nor a money value, and having one of these things was better than having nothing.

I wanted to create a character who could look at life and suffering and abuse, even her own, and view it in that dispassionate way which horrifies someone from my middle-class Western background - and then I wanted to test that idea, to bring it up against SCORPIO and have SCORPIO try to break it down with torture, to see if it was just a cool facade/necessary illusion. I wimped out of really testing that belief, instead having Dev always know that she could get out of her situation/having her find a way to be loved without truly having to sacrifice her protective patterns ... but if I was a little braver and better, I’d have tested it to breaking point. How far can a character go who thinks like that while still remaining, on some level, compassionate/human/likeable?

3. Saffron (Firefly)

I could have gone Black Widow (definitely the inspiration for Dev’s aesthetic in terms of outfit etc). But the plain truth is that I thought more about Saffron while dreaming up Devinahl/writing her backstory than I did about Black Widow (yes, Widow turned her weakness into strength in a manipulative fashion all the time, but Garak did it better, and other than that she mainly looked after boys in a way that I did not want Dev to be limited to). 

Firefly, for a show that had - what - 13 episodes? - exercises far too much of a hold on my imagination and Saffron, especially in the first episode in which she appeared, was such a tremendous character. The way that she found exactly the triggers to turn each member of the crew inside out? (And if she’d had more time, it absolutely would have worked on Wash and Inara, too - it only didn’t because she had to hurry.) Dev has that. I can’t write it, because I suck, but she has it. 

Oh, and nobody will ever know Devinahl’s real name (apart from you, if you read my fic about her backstory) and she’d die before letting you know it. That’s straight from Saffron. As is, I suppose, the man who would accept her just as she is without needing to push to know her secrets, except it worked out a little better for Dev and Arcann than it did for Yolanda and Durran Haymer because Dev and Arcann will always have pegging.

INDIRAE

(This will be a lot shorter than the section on Devinahl, I promise.)

1. Steve Rogers, Captain America (and whatever else)

I have never been super into the MCU, but the key reference I used to find a way into Indy’s character, back when she was nothing more than a cool-looking Cathar Bounty Hunter, was Steve Rogers. (November can attest to this)

Indy’s physical size - she’s six foot if she’s an inch, and big - is key to her personality, but equally key is the idea that she would always experience that size as uncomfortable and slightly alien to her. Like Steve Rogers, she started out as the scrawny kid always getting beat up by everybody ... And when she got her strength (with a hefty assist from the toxic waste run-off into what was her family’s only source of water) and suddenly got TALL and STRONG? She did not like bullies - which was what led her to help Coda out of a jam at the spacesport and started them on their road.

(If there’s a better way to play the BH storyline than as a stone-cold mercenary with an utterly unwilling heart of gold ... then I don’t know about it.)

2. Xena, Xena Warrior Princess

I’ll be completely fucking straight with anybody about this (so to speak): I love Xena, I had an obsession with it as a teenager I’m still unpacking, and the show tends to feed into my characters in an ... odd way.

Indy is physically imposing like Xena, is the main thing; and her dynamic with Coda owes a lot to Xena’s with Gabrielle (although Coda is as big and tough as Indy, she is the fast talker/smooth operator to Indy’s laconic strongman). I wanted Indy to dominate action scenes the way that Xena does, be that kind of a force of nature; and watch her struggle to find ways to channel that charisma, to need Coda’s help to understand how to do it.

3. Dottie Henson, A League of Their Own

OK, first of all, I do not want to hear any kind of mockery. This is, unironically, one of my favourite films of all time.

Again, we come back to the core theme of a character struggling with her own greatness/potential. That’s what is the most fascinating through-line of A League of Their Own: Dottie, this unbelievable baseball player/physical presence (yes, she’s very tall, just like Indy) who is so terrified to admit that she wants anything more than her smalltown life and dreadful husband, even while the evidence of her talent and passion for the game is burning up these ... fields? Diamonds? I don’t know baseball apart from this film.

Indy certainly hides behind not wanting to be a bounty hunter. She doesn’t believe in any Mandalorian nonsense about romanticising what is an unglamorous job. She’s just doing it for credits and afterwards, once she’s secured her family’s future, she’s totally going to go home and settle down in some acceptable, domestic way. Being on the Mantis with Coda, it’s absolutely just a means to an end. She doesn’t want to be there, she doesn’t care about it, it’s not who she is, she doesn’t need it. This life, the adventure, the freedom, the fighting for survival, it’s certainly not what gets inside her and what lights her up, no, not at all. 

Oh, and Dottie is also a reluctant leader. She doesn’t see why her talent should put her in the position of telling other people what to do - but then, on the other hand, she sees so clearly what they need to be doing, and when she says to do it, they listen. She doesn’t want to carry this team, but they’re only a team so long as she carries them.

(Don’t worry, Coda’s not going to let her lie to herself for too long.)

What your Favorite Ranma ½ Ship Says about you.

Ranma/Akane: You find Double Tsundere to be the ideal relationship.

Male Ranma/Akane: You find Double Tsundere to be the ideal relationship, also you are heterosexual.

Female Ranma/Akane: You find Double Tsundere to be the ideal relationship and also you want a Butch/Femme Dynamic where which one is the Butch and which one is the Femme is not who it initially appears to be.

Ranma/Kasumi: You like the idea of milfs but find relationships with age gaps problematic.

Female Ranma/Kasumi: You are a pillow princess.

Female Ranma/Nabiki: You want to date a pillow princess.

Ranma/Nabiki: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of sass

Ranma/Ryoga: You also ship Naruto/Sasuke, Deku/Katsuki and Phoenix/Edgeworth

Female Ranma/Ryoga: You are heterosexual.

Ranma/Ukyo: You say "fuck the gender binary"

Ranma/Shampoo: You want a relationship with a girl who can kick your ass on command.

Female Ranma/Shampoo: You want a relationship with a girl who can kick your father's ass on command.

Ranma/Kodachi: Your ideal relationship is Jock/Goth.

Ranma/Kuno: Your ideal relationship is Jock/Theatre Major.

Akane/Ryoga: You wish to destroy the concept of "The Friend Zone"

Akane/Shampoo:👏YOU👏LOVE👏ANGRY👏SEX👏

Akane/Ukyo: You think Betty and Veronica should ditch Archie and hook up.

Ryoga/Akari: You take cute stuffed animals and have pretend marriage ceremonies between them

Ryoga/Ukyo: Your first exposure to Ranma ½ was Nihao my Concubine.

Mousse/Shampoo: There's nothing you love more than two Childhood Friends realizing their feelings for each other. And then murdering the rest of the cast.

Shampoo/Ukyo: Your ideal relationship is Butch/Femme-who-can-crush concrete-with-her-thighs

Ukyo/Konatsu: You looked at the "Handmaiden/Feudal Lord" post and thought it would be fun to use as an actual shipping dynamic.

Ukyo/Tsubasa: You're heterosexual, but you also want to be pegged.

Nabiki/Kuno: Your ideal relationship is Snark/Dumbass.

Kasumi/Tofu: You want to be tenderly loved by a dilf.

Genma/Soun: Your ideal relationship is Dumbass/Dumbass.

Love is Blindness - Part 2

Fandom: Be My Princess (Love 365)

Pairing: Roberto x Reader

Note: This is an AU fic for @dany-ryujin, hope you enjoy!

It had been two weeks since you’d seen or heard from Roberto Button. That was two weeks longer than you had ever gone without speaking in the 3 years that you had been in each other’s lives. You were so disappointed in yourself for not reaching out but you were being stubborn and maybe a tad selfish, though that was hard to admit and for once you wanted to have him sacrifice something for you.

As soon as you thought that you knew it was unfair as, save for the current situation you were in, he had always been there for you. However, your time apart was coming to an end as it was Laura’s birthday and she was a wonderful friend who deserved for all of her friends to celebrate with her, even if all of those friends were going through some…things.

You had spoken briefly with her about what was happening and she rolled her eyes about how stubborn you and Roberto were being and how you two loved each other and should just get over it but you denied it all of course and said you were fine. Laura had asked if you were ok coming to the party knowing he’d be there and you pretended that was such a silly question.

Of course it would be fine, as Roberto’s best friend you were looking forward to seeing him and were so excited to catch up with his girlfriend and that all would be fine. ‘Fine’ the word of the century. Laura didn’t believe any of it but knew you’d show up so she continued giving you the low down of pre-drinks at her and Keith’s place before a celebratory night downtown. You told her you were excited and even though you’d rather curl up in a ball on the couch and wallow in self pity, you found yourself jumping in the shower in preparation for the night ahead. After fixing your hair and applying a more glamorous flair to your makeup, you headed to your closet to choose something appropriate to wear.

You smiled, knowing you had a few options on how to proceed. You could wear a dress that was a little tighter, a little lower, a little more revealing or you could choose one of your flowy, flirty pieces that would be perfectly acceptable for the evening. Feeling brave you decided on something a bit sexier, chalking it up that the birthday girl would be dressed to the nines as an excuse to have a bit more fun but your gut told you there was another reason you wanted to look extra sexy.

You decided on a new black dress that had arrived in the mail just days prior. It was black, tight, and hit you mid thigh. The neckline was low but numerous straps covered your chest to your neck, matching cutouts and crossed strips of fabric open at your hips. You would normally never wear something like this but it was an impulse buy long before your conversation with Roberto and you were happy you went for it tonight. Paired with some heels you twirled in the mirror, surprising yourself with how the outfit lifted your spirits and confidence.

You weren’t looking to start anything or stir the pot but while spending the majority of the evening with couples you might as well look hot. Maybe someone at the bar would want to take you home. Though you weren’t much for one nights stands the thought had crossed your mind as a potential distraction from everything so you weren’t going to cross that off the list of evening possibilities.

When you were completely ready, you made your way over to Keith and Laura’s apartment. You could hear the music before you even reached the door and as you walked inside a happy and definitely buzzing Laura pulled you into a tight hug. “You’re here!” She exclaimed, pulling back to take a swig of the wine bottle she held in her hands.

“Jesus, Laura, let the girl in the door.” Keith laughed from behind her, giving you a warm smile. “I’m glad you’re here, _____, we’ve all missed you.” He said, using his free arm that wasn’t holding his drunk girlfriend to pull you in for a quick hug. “Thanks, Keith, I missed you guys too.”

Laura started yelling about getting you a drink, so you gave Keith a reassuring nod and headed off with Laura to the kitchen. There were quite a few people gathered in there when you finally made it and all conversation stopped when you passed the threshold. Edward whistled long and low, Wilfred giving an appreciative “Damn, _____” while a few of the other guys nodded in agreement. “Ok you animals, pipe down.” You laughed, reaching between Joshua and Wilfred for a plastic cup. Laura had gotten distracted, having not even made it into the kitchen and you laughed, glad that she was having a good time.

“Just complimenting the dress, you should wear that one more often.” Wilfred said, drawing your attention back to him though his eyes darted to the door you had just entered and you could tell by the look on his face that it was Roberto who had come into the room.

“Can you pass me the vodka please?” You asked, turning to Joshua. This put most of your body facing where Roberto stood and so as you went to pour your drink you turned in his direction entirely, finally meeting his eyes. “Hey, Robbie.” You said, pleased with yourself for how normal your voice sounded. Pleased considering you were an anxious mess inside and could feel the stares of the room flicking between the two of you.

His friends and their girlfriends were a huge part of your life and since you hadn’t seen Roberto in weeks, it meant you hadn’t seen them either and you really hoped everything would blow over soon so you could get back to being with your friends. Roberto seemed surprised that you’d spoken to him and hesitated just long enough for his girlfriend to catch up, sliding beside him, her hands roaming up his chest.

She looked into the room, surveying the scene before her eyes landed on you, darkening as she smirked. “Didn’t peg you as the type of girl to wear a dress like that, ______, must be on the prowl tonight.” She said, drawing impossibly closer to Roberto, lifting her lips to kiss his jaw. He tensed slightly and you noted how he pulled away from her, even a fraction and looked at you with a strange expression coloring his features.

It was odd not being able to read someone you normally had no trouble understanding and it was isolating to feel like your relationship wasn’t what it had been before. You knew that the words his girlfriend had spoken were not problematic in themselves but her tone and subsequent actions were making her statement loud and clear. She was staking her claim and marking her territory and since you weren’t interested in playing any sort of game with her, you lowered your head and finished making your drink.

“I think she looks hot as hell.” Wilfred answered, “Hottest girl here by far.” He finished, leaning forward from the counter to nudge you in the ribs. You smiled at that, chuckling at his attempt to lighten the mood in the room. “Thanks, Will.” You lifted your left hand to his shoulder, reaching to give him a quick peck on the cheek as a thanks for standing up for you.

You turned your attention away from Roberto and his girlfriend, not interested in feeding into her game. “I’m going to go find Laura.” You said to no one in particular, pushing passed Roberto and his girlfriend without another look.

You spent the next hour or so laughing and drinking with your friends, purposefully paying as little attention to Roberto as possible. Needing a breath of fresh air you slipped out onto the deck, breathing in the crisp air as you took in the city below. You really did love it here and though life wasn’t always smooth sailing you knew you were lucky in so many ways. Ah, how the drunk mind rambles on. Moments later you heard the door slide open and you knew without even turning around who it was. You stepped sideways in hopes that his girlfriend wasn’t with him and much to your surprise, she wasn’t.

You wanted to ask how he managed to sneak away without her but you held your tongue knowing that you two were already on thin ice and you didn’t need to be a petty bitch, even though you wanted to be. You’d only made brief eye contact with him, turning back to look out at the city lights before you. “Can I talk to you?” Roberto asked and the softness of his tone caught you off guard.

You sighed quietly, ringing your hands along the railing. “If you’ve got something to say to me I’m not stopping you.” You answered, still refusing to look at him. You could feel the tension rolling off of him and you imagined he was running his fingers through his hair like he did when he was stressed. “C’mon, ____, I know you’re mad but please just look at me.”

You sighed again heavily, turning your body in his direction. You were so frustrated that the words left you before you could really stop them, you started speaking. “I’m not mad, Roberto. I’m hurt. Well, I’m hurt but I’m trying not to be. You mean a lot to me and so with that I’m happy that you’re happy but I’m also not going to pretend that everything is fine. I don’t see you anymore and when I do your girlfriend is with you making damn sure I know you’ve chosen her. And I get it, there wasn’t even a choice. We are friends and you and her are more than that but it’s okay. I miss you. I miss being friends with you and I have no idea how we even got like this. I’m sorry if my being here tonight bothers you and I’m sorry we couldn’t fix this so just don’t bother trying to find me in quiet moments when she’s not here and just go live with the choices you’ve made. I’ll do my best to stay out of your way but these people are my friends and I’ve already lost one, I refuse to lose everyone else over this, too.” You finished your quick rant and took another step back so that you could gauge Roberto’s reaction properly.

He seemed to want to say something and you knew that if you walked away now he’d never have the chance so you waited while he gathered his thoughts. “I don’t want to lose you,” he started, his eyes boring into yours. “I know I practically already have but I don’t want to, especially not like this. We’ve been friends for years. You mean the world to me. You think I like watching her treat you like this? You think I like knowing that everyone in the room thinks I’m a fucking idiot? You say you know I’m happy and are glad I am but you don’t mean that. You hate her. I’m not saying you shouldn’t and I know I should be doing something but every time I’m with her I hurt you and every time I’m with you I hurt her and I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

You couldn’t stop the tears welling in your eyes at his words. It wasn’t worth putting you both through what you were. What was the point? He clearly cared for her enough to keep the relationship and even though you knew deep down that he loved you, it just wasn’t enough. You were two people with a complicated relationship neither of you were willing to budge for or really even admit to, particularly not to each other and as a result you were both left to deal with the mess of not choosing each other in the end.

“Don’t cry, ______.” Roberto said, reaching forward to you. You flinched at the contact, surprising you both as you had never reacted that way to him before.

Desperately rubbing at your eyes in an attempt to stop your tears, you stepped back again, his time your back hitting the railing in the corner of the deck. You took a shaky breath, looking up into Roberto’s eyes. He looked broken and confused and absolutely lost and as you shifted to speak you could see him process what you were about to say before you even started. “No, ______.”

But you interrupted him. “It’s not fair for any of us to walk around on eggshells or wonder whether we are friends today or not, that’s just ridiculous and I’m not about to stand here and make you choose between someone you love and me so I’m doing it for you.” You took another deep breath, willing yourself to be strong. You could break down later when he couldn’t see you and you weren’t in the middle of what was supposed to be a fun party with friends.

Stepping to him, you wrapped your arms tightly around him, pulling him to you. His arms immediately wove around your shoulders, dragging you as close as he could, his ragged breath on your neck. “You don’t believe me, but I do want you to be happy and I truly hope she’s worth it.” You said, pulling away.

You didn’t look at him again as you moved behind him, sliding through the door and back to the party. As a result of your quick exit you didn’t hear him say, “And you don’t believe me but you’re the one I love, ______.”

BMP Masterlist

so I just recently found ur page and I’ve been trolling though a lot of ur rosegarden theories and I love them. Rosegarden is my favorite ship and my favorite theory I’ve read has to be the one were u pitch the sketch for Oscar to be in RWBY China. Anyway, I have a theory I would like ur opinion on. Oscars semblance. I don’t know if you’ve posted about this but, I think it should be plant manipulation (full poison ivy). I know this theory isn’t new but think the evidence is there what u think??

Pleased to meet ya Dark! RWBY China? Oh you mean RWBY Chibi! I’m assuming you meant Chibi XD And awesome, yeah I’ve been noticing your likes on some of my posts these past couple of days. Thank you so much. I’m pleased to hear you’ve been enjoying them. Particularly my Rosegardenones since they’re always my favourite ones to write.

Regarding Oscar’s semblance; I actually shared one or two posts on my idea for Oscar’s semblance including one which was a response to RWBYYoutuber ThatKaitoDan.

Aaah yes, ye ole Oscar’s plant-based semblance. That was one of the first headcanons I heard for Oscar’s semblance and it’s pretty much still a pretty popular one.

But if you’re asking me for my thoughts on this being Oscar’s semblance, I’m gonna be honest with ya fam. I never quite bought into that theory. I mean…Iget it. I get why many folks would jump on this theory bandwagon. Oscar’s semblance must be something Earth-elemental or plant-based because he’s our veteran precious freckled small farm boy, right? When I look at it through that lens, I can see why folks would like it.

However my reasoning for never truly hoping on-board with this theory is because, what do we know about semblances?

According to World of Remnant, by definition, one’s semblance is an extension of their aura into a more tangible form. Basically one’s semblance is a unique power associated with said individual. From what I understand, semblances are meant to represent who they are as a person since it’s more or less a projection of their very soul. Their very being.

Up until this point, you can pretty much say that everyone’s semblance is a reflection of their character and their personality.

This is why I’m not in favour of the plant manipulation theory. When I hear that as Oscar’s semblance, I automatically see the reason being because Oscar is a farm boy and as I said, I get it in that sense. However being a small farm boy from Mistral isn’t who Oscar is. I mean…yes it’s an integral part of his upbringing and past but it’s not representative of him as a person.

If Oscar was someone described to have a love for nature and be interested in plants then I can see that being his power. However, when I look back on Oscar’s story, part of it involved him desiring to be more than just a farmhand. He wanted to do more with his life than what he was raised to be.

So him, having a power that represents the lifestyle he grew up in that he secretly desired to move away from didn’t click with me. It’s no problem if you or anyone else are fans of this theory. That’s fine.

It’s just that I’ve always had a different idea…well ideas, on what Oscar’s semblance could be and none of them involved plants or Earth powers.

In the past, I pegged Oscar on having more of a mind-based semblance. Before, the only person with a mental semblance was Emerald and back in V5, I was hoping that Oscar would become another huntsman with a mind semblance. I was hoping that Oscar’s power would’ve been something along the lines of Telepathy—where he could connect to others through their minds and thus help heal them from within. I figured that could’ve been Oscar’s power since he strikes me as the type of individual who’s always willing to do what he can tohelp others. Despite still knowing very little about him after three seasons,if there is one thing I can card about Oscar as a person is his readiness to help even when he himself might be limited.

He’s always eager to lend a helping hand even when he might not have the right words or know what’s best to make. But he still tries. He will still make an attempt if it meant helping someone in someshape or form.

If I were to play Blake Belladonna and describe Oscar Pine in one word, it would be selfless.Not to make it sound bad or anything but Oscar seems to care very little abouthimself especially in the face of a danger. In the sense that he’s always more fervent to put himself before another. At the time when I made the telepathy theory, I perceived Oscar as the type of person with a knack for connecting with others on a deeper level. Back in V4, Ozpin voiced Oscar that he had the potential for greatness. That he had the aptitude to be the kind of person to give a helping hand when humanity needed it most. And ever since that season, I feel as if ‘helping hand’ is a trait that Oscar has almost come to live up to.

It is both noble and…somewhat problematic how very little Oscar seems to care about himself in the face of others. He wants to do the best he can, even within limits. In my eyes, I see Oscar as an individual whose desire to help and do more is infinite while he himself is often rather limited—whether it’s by his own experience as a huntsmen or his time as himself. He definitely seems like he wants to do more but there are chains that are keeping him from doing so…in a metaphorical sense.

Ultimately I wound up abandoning the telepathy theory for Oscar. Especially now when RWBY After the Fall revealed the CFVY member Fox has that power. Currently, one of my key theories for Oscar’s semblance is Nullification—disabling someone from using their semblance so that, in the event of a threat, they can no longer be a danger to themselves or others. I explained this theory best in its original musing post right here.

My second choice for Oscar’s semblance is Magic. I like the idea of Oscar’s true power being magic itself since it fits into so many things about him. From a fairy tale standpoint, it fits since Oscar draws inspiration from Princess Ozma—the rightful ruler of Oz and powerful magic-user. So it makes sense to me that Oscar becomes a powerful wizard with magic as his signature power.

Another reason why I like the idea of Oscar’s power being Magic is due to the point that I made about Oscar’s character. Oscar is someone who is selfless—willing to do whatever he can even within limitations. Imagine Oscar being forced into a scenario where he wants to do more but he can’t because there’s something stopping him. There’s always something stopping him. Always something holding him back.

So imagine if…in the past, Oscar always wanted to do more but was told he couldn’t for whatever reason. Maybe as a little boy, he was told he couldn’t do certain things other kids could because he was too small in size. Or perhaps as a teenager, he was told he couldn’t help the adults (like his parents) because he was too young. He was just a boy. A child and because of that, he’d only get in the way.

As a huntsman, he can’t help his team as much as he’d like to since he’s still tooinexperienced as a fighter. And the final crutch, he wants to help as much as he can as Oscar—he wants to keep fighting with his friends as Oscar but he’s limited by time since he’s not sure how much longer he has as Oscar.

There’s always something holding Oscar back from what he’s truly capable of doing. His weakness is that he is always limited by something withholding him from his true potential. So…perhaps Oscar’s semblance—his true power would be something that would grant him the unlimited power to do anything.

Currently, magic is a source of unlimited power in RWBY’s lore. Therefore, I believe it’s a power very suitable for Oscar to become a master of. I strongly believe that magic is destined to be Oscar’s hidden strength.

I don’t know if Magic could even be considered a semblance. Nonetheless, like I said, I think it can work for Oscar since it feels like a power he should have given who he is, who he’s destined to become and more specifically, who he was inspired by.

One’s semblance is their own individual power. An ability that is unique to them since it’s an extension of their aura—their very soul. Their very sense of self. So that being said, I’d like to toss out this new Oscar semblance theory.

What if…and this is a BIG IF…Oscar can’t have a semblance. 

What if…Oscar will never be able to unlock a semblance since his whole Man with Two Souls thing spiritually prevents him from unlocking a power that’sunique to him. 

Hear me out with this one, okay? Like I said, as person’s semblance, in the words of Nora Valkyrie, is their very own superpower. It’s a power unique to them (in most cases) since it’s meant to be an extension of their very soul.

This brings to light a question I wish to ask about the Wizards of Light. Did any of the Wizards before possess unique semblances of their own? One’s semblance is a power unique to them. So my question is, if a Wizard unlocked their own semblance during their lifetime, is their semblance then passed down to their successor upon death since a Wizard’s soul never dies, it’s just reborn in the body of the next candidate in the cycle. And then when that present Wizard unlocks their semblance, do they have control over that plus their predecessors’ semblance?

Is Oscar, as the current incarnate of Ozma, just sitting on a gold mine of powers waiting to be tapped into or…could it be my hunch where Oscar, and by extension, any Wizard of Light, can’t possess a semblance since a Wizard isn’t one soul.

A semblance is the power projected from one’s individual soul. However Oscar isn’t just one soul. He isn’t even two souls despite the key term. Oscar is part of a culmination of many different souls over lifetimes in one body. When I look at it from this perspective, I’m starting to wonder if it’ll be possible for Oscar to even have a ‘semblance’ at all given his ‘condition’.

What if…this might even provide another limitation for Oscar to dealwith.

Imagine…Oscar training and working so very, very hard to unlock hissemblance only for Ozpin (or perhaps someone who’s been studying his aura, like let’s say General Ironwood) to sort of drop the ball on himand say that he’s incapable of ever unlocking a semblance.

As I’ll reiterate again, semblances are an individual’s own unique power. Even in the case of family bloodlines (like the Schnees), this still applies since while blood is thicker than water, it’s not thicker than the soul; that makes a lick of sense. Even with shared semblances, individually, the Schnees are still their own people sharing in the power that their family was built upon and using itas they chose to use it. They may share a power. But they don’t share a soul.

This is the kicker with Oscar. He’s not just one individual. Sadly to say it but, Oscar, technically, isn’t …his own person. His soul is bound to another in a string of many other lives. I can see if being difficult for Oscar to have his own individual power when he’s not just one person. 

It’s not even a case like with the Schnees. He’s not inherited a power viablood. He’s sharing a body with another soul who is an embodiment of many.While I still think it’d be cool for Oscar to have a semblance, I’m going totoy around with the concept of what if he didn’t. 

What if…our precious small farm boy can’t have a semblance? He’s even worse than Jaune in that regards. With Jaune, it was more or less a mental block and waiting for the right trigger. With Oscar, imagine if he can’t do it at all because of the very thing that’s been his crutch from the get-go. Him being part of two souls. Him eventually merging with said soul and possibly disappearing during all of it.

Imagine…Oscar clinging to the hope of unlocking his very own semblance as a sign that there might be a small chance for him to still be his own person despite everything? If Oscar were to have his own power—a power that represents him. A power that is his and wasn’t something he inherited from another. If he had that then he would still be him.

Picture…Oscar clinging desperately to this goal as some sort of lifeline in a sense only to be told upfront that he’d never be able to have his own unique power since he isn’t his own person. He could never be his own person. Not anymore. Never again.

Can you imagine… Oscar, the boy who has been silently bottling up his emotions over the Merge, becoming hopeful about semblance training only to learn that…no matter how hard he tried. No matter how hard he worked or trained, nothing is going to change. He can’t stop it. He was never going to be able to run away from his fate. 

I don’t buy into Oscar fully accepting his fate with the Merge from V6 C9. I feel as if Oscar has become like how Ruby was back in V5. Indifferent and trying to act all brave to keep up appearances when in reality he isn’t truly fine with everything that’s happened to him and is going to happen to him. You cannot convince me for a millisecond that Oscar is 100% fine with the Merge.

I feel like Oscar’s run since V4 has been about him constantly convincing himself that accepting his fate was what he should do. It’s all he could do when there’s been that other side that’s been screaming the latter—the side he suppresses most of the time.

Nope. I think he’s bottling up his truefeelings and at some point, Oscar’s going to have another meltdown like in V5 C5. Probably even worse with more tears. Might even punch a wall in frustration…or SOMETHING with extreme anguish. 

Ozpin was allowed his tearful meltdown. I’m still patiently waiting on Oscar’s to happen cause you can somewhat feel it coming. 

Back in V5, Oscar was mostly scared about previously fighting in the Battle of Haven. So I could only imagine now what’s really going through his head (literally) regarding the whole idea of signing his body and life away to an entity whose been trying to stop an immortal threat for years and has failed multiple times. 

I feel like another epic meltdown is on the way for Oscar. An actual one this time, with tears and lots of wailing. A golden opportunity for Aaron Dismuke to give us his best emotional acting in the history of anime voice acting.

I’d actually be pretty disappointed if it doesn’t happen by now in V7 since; and I cannot stress this enough, Oscar needs to vent. It’s part of the reason why I’ve been dissatisfied with how the Writers just constantly portray Oscar with just being perfectly ok with everything that’s happened to him. 

I get that he’s a young, impressionable teenager made to have the maturity of an adult beyond his years but Jeez Louise on cheese, would it kill these guys to give Oscar some more depth and ACTUALLY delve into him as a person and character. I guess, only time will tell for V7 I suppose.

Resuming talk on semblances, if Oscar is revealed to have NO semblance, this is where I can see magic being his substitute for a semblance. When I think about it, Oscar doesn’t really need a semblance. As a matter of fact, there’s no unique power more fitting for Oscar to have than magic in my eyes.

If magic can be a semblance, then I’d pick magic to be Oscar’s true power. He’s meant to be a destined for greatness. So let him be that. Forget semblances all together for Oscar Pine! Let him use magic instead.

Let this small farm boy become the great and powerful wizard I know he’s meant to be. This is why I’m gunning for my theory of Oscar taking the Fall Maiden magic back from Cinder. Since the Maiden magic are connected to Oscar via his connection to Ozma—the original source of the power, I believehe might possess the power to take the Maiden magic back without having to killthe Maidens.

I’m banking on Cinder overpowering Oscar only for him to suddenly start revoking some of the Maiden magic into his body, empowering him.

Man, imagine if karma comes back to bite Cinder in the ass. Funnily enough, when Cinder had ambushed the original Fall Maiden with Emerald and Mercury, she ended up stealing some of her magic with a Grimm that left a nasty blemish across Amber’s right eye. Ironically, when Ruby first used her Silver Eyes on her, Cinder lost her eye on the same side. 

Now I’m picturing karma returning to chomp on Cinder again where, just as she blindsided Amber and stole some of her power—imagine Oscar blindsiding her and taking back some of Ozma’s magic.

Then imagine Oscar using that magic to defeat Cinder and similar to Amber, just as how she was made to kneel helplessly while Cinder stole her power—Cinder would be put in the same position as Oscar takes back what she stole. A power that was never meant to be hers in the first place. Isn’t that not what Cinder said to Pyrhha before she murdered her? Wouldn’ that be an interesting scene to see play out. 

So Oscar takes back the Fall Maiden powers and thus, becomes empowered with magic and finally unlocks his true potential. That’s my main theory.

Besides, if Oscar’s power is indeed magic then I can see Earth-themed magic being his preference. With the Maidens, they all seem to have a base element ofchoice. For Cinder, it was fire. For Raven, it was ice (even though she’s supposed to be the Spring Maiden?) so for Oscar, earth can his elementof choice as a wizard.  This in turn can play into yours and everyone’sfavourite Pinehead theory of Oscar becoming an earth bender of some kind.

I’ll only accept the plant powers for Oscar when it comes to his magical abilities. Those are my thoughts on that. Hope that answers you Dark. Sorry if I took so long in responding. Thanks for the inbox fam~

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)

Hooray for the Matriarchy! Forgotten Voices

Hooray for the Matriarchy!

Week one: Forgotten voices

Matthew 1: 1-6, 12-16

You always know it’s going to be a fun Sunday morning when the sermon starts with a reading of a genealogy. More on that a little bit later.

A couple of years ago I did some work at the Museum of the Bible, in Washington DC. [Yes really, there’s an entire – and pretty large – museum dedicated to the Bible. If you’re ever lucky enough to be in DC, it’s worth a visit for reasons shall we say both good and bad.]

There is a whole floor in the museum describing the ‘global impact’ of the Bible. The exhibit begins with a series of displays about the Bible in American history. It’s a complicated picture. In one cabinet is a volume of ‘The Woman’s Bible’ published by Elizabeth Cady Stanton in 1895. Stanton was an influential advocate for women’s suffrage and blamed the teachings of the church for much of the problem of denying women their rights. Her Bible included commentary interpreting what she saw as the Bible’s real message about women.

In another cabinet is one of the so-called ‘Slave Bibles’ of the early 1800s – part of a large display outlining how the Bible was used both in justifying slavery, and in fighting for its abolition. ‘Slave Bibles’ radically edited the Bible text – missing out stories and sometimes whole books – to downplay themes of freedom and liberation and emphasise themes of obedience and submission. Verses like this one from Titus “teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything” definitely made the cut, used to perpetuate the idea that slavery and ownership was the natural – even God-ordained – order of the world.

In a roundabout way, that’s why we’re beginning a new series this week: Hooray for the Matriarchy! How we read the Bible matters, and for the next four weeks we are going to be exploring the stories of some women from the Bible.

We can’t possibly do that justice in just four weeks – neither incidentally should it be the only time in the year when we talk about women’s stories. In the next three weeks, we’re going to hear the stories of Deborah, Miriam, and Hagar. This week, we’re beginning with the title ‘forgotten voices’ – women whose stories are minimised and marginalised; women who (along with men) are often unnamed in the Bible, yet whose inclusion in the text – I think - tells us something about our own calling in the world. How have women’s voices been forgotten – and why does it matter?

Pop quiz: does anyone know how many women are named in the Hebrew Bible – the Old Testament? I wonder if we started shouting out names, how many we could muster. [Maybe we shouldn’t – we’ll be here all morning]

There are 111 women named – and very many more unnamed. Some we know – Ruth maybe, or Esther – both have books of the Bible named after them which helps. Many we may have never noticed or heard. But the women’s stories are there.

All about the patriarchy

We started with that reading from Matthew 1, listing the ancestors of Jesus – beginning with the patriarchs. Time and again in the Bible we’re told that God is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Right from Sunday school, we teach stories about the male heroes of faith [or so-called heroes – many of them are pretty violent, interesting that these are the stories we teach children!]. Abraham, Moses, Joseph, David, Samson, Gideon – the list goes on. But listen to that reading from Matthew 1 carefully and you’ll notice that – in an absolute break with how genealogies of the time were put together – four women are named. Tamar, Rahab, Bathsheba, and Mary. Their inclusion is intriguing – but it’s not an utter surprise. The Bible is a remarkable history. Most histories are written by those who conquered, those who won, these are the ones who control the narrative. Yet the Bible – the Hebrew Bible – tells the story of the Jewish people who are constantly conquered, occupied, and exiled. In that context the Bible is often subversive, often disruptive. It is written in a time and culture completely formed by patriarchy (a system where men hold power and women are largely excluded from power) – so the Bible is this weird mix. It is rich with stories of women who are oppressed, but who sometimes have agency. Women who are silenced, but who sometimes make their voices heard. Many of the women in the Hebrew Bible whose stories we know are foreigners, outsiders in Israel. Their stories aren’t the centre of the text, they appear and disappear. We get a little bit about them, then we never know what happens to them after that. Their feelings and actions are unexplored, their story arcs don’t get completed. In a text that is often about power and nation-building, the men’s stories are the point. But the women’s stories are there.

Because God is the God of Abraham, Sarah, Hagar, and Keturah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob, Rachel, Leah, Bilhah, and Zilpah. Without these matriarchs we have no more patriarchs.

Without Shiphra and Puah – the Israelite midwives who subvert Pharoah’s orders [to kill every Hebrew baby boy, and instead tell him that Hebrew women just give birth really fast before they can get there – they’ve already pushed them out and hidden them somewhere!]

Without Jochabed who hides her baby in the reeds

Without Miriam who watches over her baby brother and saves his life

Without the Egyptian Princess who raises him

We have no Moses.

And while Moses parts the waters of the red sea – Miriam leads the people of Israel across with dancing.

When Israel sends spies into Canaan, looking for their promised land – it’s Rahab who saves them. Deborah leads the people of Israel in peacetime, as well as in war – a war that’s won when Jael (another woman) puts a tent peg through Sisera’s skull. Tamar, Dinah, the daughters of Zelophehad, Hannah, Esther, Abigail – we don’t have time for their stories, but even to say their names is important, because we don’t. Time and again the fate of the people of Israel pivots on the actions of women. The women’s stories are there.

If we don’t think the Bible celebrates women – as leaders, prophets, a source of wisdom and courage, as leaders of the resistance, subverters, champions of justice – then we’re not reading the Bible very well. Patriarchy is not just a problem in the writing of the text – it’s a problem in our reading of it as well. We continue to emphasise the stories of men, missing out the essential stories of women.

Why is this important? Well – aside from the fact that 50% of the population can’t find themselves in this story if women’s voices are forgotten – when we read the Bible through our own bias, we compound the problem. We weaponise the Bible. We fail to challenge interpretations that justify and lead to injustice.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton wasn’t wrong when she argued that the teaching of the church over the centuries – based on this Biblical text which is steeped in patriarchy – has played a huge role in denying women their rights. From Eve to Mary, women have been cast as either sinners (whores) or saints (virgins). It begins with Augustine in the fourth century – but it carries on and it gathers pace. Here are some of my favourite quotes for you [I actually have a document on my computer called ‘quotes about women’, so I picked out a couple of my favourites]:

(This is from the fifteenth-century manual of the Dominican Inquisitors against witches): “When a woman thinks alone she thinks evil, for the woman was made from the crooked rib which is bent in the contrary direction from the man. Woman conspired constantly against spiritual good. Her very name, fe-mina means ‘absence of faith’. She is insatiable lust by nature. Because of this lust she consorts even with Devils. It is for this reason that women are especially prone to the crime of witchcraft, from which men have been preserved by the maleness of Christ.”

One more? Here’s Martin Luther the great reformer, on the subject of marriage: “Eve originally was more equally a partner with Adam, but because of sin the present woman is a far inferior creature. Because she is responsible for the Fall, woman is in a state of subjugation. The man rules the home and the world, wages war and tills the soil. The woman is like a nail driven into the wall, she sits at home.”

Those are rather extreme examples – but if you go into a Christian bookshop today, or step inside some churches, and you won’t have to look hard to find ideas that are rooted in patriarchy, and that still deny the place, the voice, and the role of women – in church and in society. And ideas like the purity culture that have heaped shame on women for their sexuality and their identity.  

This (weaponising Scripture) is all a problem not just for how we read the Bible in relation to women – but to everyone whose voice is minimalised or marginalised. To every group of people who find themselves pushed to the outside or ignored. I think we all know ways in which the Bible has been used against people because of their race, their gender, their sexuality, or their social status.

The Bible is problematic. Referring to the Hebrew Scriptures, Professor Wil Gafney – a brilliant womanist theologian [if you don’t know her work it’s worth reading – she’s written a brilliant book called Womanist Midrash] – says this about the Bible:

“The reprehensible gender and sexual mores of the Stone and Iron Ages are still in effect for some of the women, men, boys, and girls living in our Digital Age. Our sacred texts do not proclaim or even envision a world without slavery and the subordination of women, but they lay a foundation for us to transcend them and their limitations: ‘Remember that you were slaves in Egypt.’ ‘Do to others what you would have them do to you.’ ‘What is hateful to you, do not do to another.’ ‘In the Messiah there is no longer slave or free, male or female.’”

In celebration of women

The women’s stories are there in the Bible – we need to make sure we tell them well – that means we have to untangle them from their limitations, and from those that we’ve placed on them.

Some of you may know John Bell – if you are a Greenbelt regular. He’s a teacher from the Iona Community, and just a brilliant storyteller around the Bible. He tells a story about leading a retreat with a group of church leaders, where he sets them off into groups. Half of the groups – he asks to write down the names of the twelve male disciples, and also to write down three things that they know about each of them.

To the other half of the group, he says think about all the women who are followers of Jesus in the gospels, and write down what you know about them.

So off they go, when they come back again the men’s groups start and put their sheets on the wall. Most groups have named most of the twelve of the disciples – a few are a bit tricky to remember. What about when it comes to what we know about them? Peter – we know quite a lot about Peter, people could find three things to say about him. Matthew? He’s a tax collector … he collected taxes … James the Less? Lesser than … another James? Andrew? Andrew brought a small boy with loaves and fishes, and some Greeks, and his brother to Jesus.

What about the groups that thought about the women? John Bell says that when they came back with their pieces of paper, there was a whole wall full of information. The women at the well – we don’t know her name, but she gets a whole chapter in John’s Gospel, which she shares with Jesus. No other character in the gospel gets a whole chapter of their own. She’s the first evangelist. She brings a whole village to follow Jesus. [John Bell jokes that Andrew brings a small boy, some greeks, and his brother – for which he becomes the patron saint of Scotland. This woman brings a whole village and we don’t know her name.]

Not all are named

“We know more about the woman who washes Jesus’ feet with her tears, than we do about five of the disciples after whom cathedrals are named. There has been an imbalance.”

There are 22 women in the gospels whose interactions with Jesus are recorded. We don’t know many of their names – but we know their faith and we do know how Jesus responds to them. The woman who was bleeding, and who touched Jesus. The Syro-Phoenician woman who calls Jesus out on his use of racist language. The woman caught in adultery who walks away, uncondemned. The woman who washes Jesus’ feet with her tears. The woman who gives away her last coin in the temple offering. The woman who pours expensive oil on Jesus’ head – which Judas thinks is a waste and Jesus chastises him. The women who wait at the cross, while Jesus’ male disciples flee. The women who watch his burial, who visit the tomb, who are the first witnesses of the resurrection.

They are not named – but they are bearers of the most important news in human history.

I want to say clearly: for those of us who have felt excluded or marginalised or unheard by a version of Christianity that has lifted up the powerful, and silenced those on the edges, the place of these women in the text reminds us that we are all equally made in the image of God. We are all included. We are all in. Against the odds, (yes) from the margins, unnamed, imperfect, nonetheless … the women’s stories are there.

Says John Bell:

“Jesus eats with women, is offered hospitality with women, argues with women, and takes their experience seriously. He engages with, eats with, enjoys the company of, and allows himself to be touched by those who are equally made in the image of God.”

Texts of terror

Women’ stories are there in the Bible – and we need to tell them well. But we also need to tell them honestly. And if we’re going to be honest about the story of women in the Bible, then we need to talk about what Rachel Held Evans called the ‘dark stories’ – or as Phyllis Trible calls them, the texts of terror.

I believe the Bible absolutely celebrates women, and we see that most in Jesus’ life and interactions. But the Bible also contains some horrific stories – women suffer beyond all others, and often God is silent about their suffering. Throughout the text, women are the victims of terror and violence and injustice. Even in metaphor – when Israel is in trouble, she is depicted as a woman. A daughter, destitute on the streets. A mother weeping. A harlot cast out. It’s impossible to read the Bible without encountering the voices of women who suffer.    

And as a woman, approaching those stories is hard.

Rachel Held Evans says that as she read these stories as a young woman: “I kept anticipating some sort of postscript or epilogue chastising the major players for their sins, a sort of Arrested Development–style “lesson” to wrap it all up—“And that’s why you should always challenge the patriarchy!” But no such epilogue exists. While women are assaulted, killed, and divided as plunder, God stands by, mute as clay.”

She goes on:

“Those who seek to glorify biblical womanhood have forgotten the dark stories. They have forgotten that the concubine of Bethlehem, the daughter of Jephthah, and the countless unnamed women who lived and died between the lines of Scripture exploited, neglected, ravaged and crushed at the hand of patriarchy are as much a part of our shared narrative as Deborah, Esther, Rebekah, and Ruth.”  

The story of the unnamed concubine in Judges 19 strikes me as one of the most terrible stories the Bible offers us. It comes at the end of the days of judges ‘when Israel had no king (and) the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes’. These are dangerous days, violence is everywhere, and those in charge abuse their power. In a gruesome string of events, when the Levite and ‘his concubine’ (or as Wil Gafney translates it, womb-slave [ask me later for Gafney’s translation of Bilhah’s story]) are travelling, they end up in the house of an old man, in a town in the hill country of Benjamin. [In a parallel to the story of Sodom and Gomorrah] a group of men surround the house, demanding that the Levite come outside. Instead, the two men offer up the women to the mob – both the daughter of the old man, and the Levite’s concubine. We don’t know what happens to the daughter, she’s not mentioned again, but the Levite pushes his concubine out, and the woman is sexually assaulted by a group of men and left for dead.

In the morning the Levite gets up to go on his way, seemingly undisturbed about what’s happened to his concubine, opens the door, and finds her on the ground with her hands on the threshold. So he takes her home – it’s not clear whether she’s alive or not – he cuts her body into twelve pieces, and sends one to each tribe of Israel. The story is an indictment (told at the end of the story arc of Judges) of what king-less and law-less Israel has become. Violence begets violence, begets violence, and war ensues between the tribes. [All the men of Benjamin except 600 are killed. All the women are killed, all the children are killed. 400 women are snatched to be wives for the remaining men … etc]

It is a terrible, terrible story. There is no justice for the woman. She is abandoned and used in every way. She is not even named – only the story of the violence done to her lives on. Phyllis Trible says that of all the characters in Scripture she is the least. The least. But her story is there. This nameless woman demands our attention. She doesn’t speak in the text, only her father and her husband speak. And yet she is not silenced. Her suffering speaks for her, calls out for our outrage.

Lest we need reminding, misogyny, violence, and abuse of power are not confined to the distant past. Violence still disproportionately affects women and girls around the globe. Worldwide, one in three women has experienced physical or sexual violence because she is a woman. Women are more at risk of domestic violence, sexual assault and harassment, forced marriage, sex trafficking, and genital mutilation.

Although people of all genders experience violence and abuse online, the abuse experienced by women is specifically sexist or misogynistic in nature. Online threats of violence against women are often sexualised or target a specific aspect of a woman’s identity (involving racism or transphobia for example). 21% of women in the UK have experienced online abuse or harassment.

Time and again, in the Bible, the suffering of women points to the need and the fight for justice. To the failure of Israel to live up to its calling to care for the poor, the orphaned, the widow, the stranger. And when you read the story of the Levite’s concubine, or the story of Tamar, or the story of Rizpah … [Rizpah’s story we probably don’t know. She was Saul’s concubine. She sits in the desert with the corpses of her sons for six months after David has had them killed, fending off wild animals and birds, demanding justice for their deaths and burial for their bodies, and she wins – David has them buried along with the bones of Saul and Jonathan …] When we read these stories it’s impossible to not to think about contemporary stories [the mothers of the disappeared in Argentina parallel Rizpah’s story].

I think the Bible teaches us that these terrible stories … [do you know, I’m not ‘glad’ that they’re there – I don’t think ‘oh it’s good that women’s stories are included in the Bible even the violent ones’ … we wish they weren’t there because they’re awful stories.] But they are there and what they point us to is the need and the fight for justice for women and girls and men and boys around the world, and our part in that.

In her book, Texts of terror, Phyllis Trible concludes:

“The story is alive, and all is not well. Beyond confession we must say ‘never again’ … speaking the word not to others but to ourselves: Repent. Repent.”

Here – I think – is the challenge and the invitation to us, as we read the stories of women in the Bible. Yes – to be inspired by their leadership, their courage, their flaws, and their faith. Yes – to be encouraged that their stories are told, even against the odds, from the margins, subverting power, leading the resistance. But most of all to be reminded of our own calling as the people of God always to bring good news that is freedom for the poor, and justice for the oppressed.

Let’s pray

May we – each one of us – find ourselves in this story of faith.

May we know our value, our worth, and our identity – formed, each one of us, in the image of God.

May we learn to listen for the stories from the margins and amplify their voice.

May we be compelled to act for justice, to resolve oppression and exploitation wherever we find it.

May these stories not trouble us in vain – may we use them for some good.

Sweet Black Waves by Kristina Perez (with Monica)

In the end, I gave it a two out of five stars on Goodreads, though I’m feeling like it should be closer to one and a half. 

I feel kind of bad for this story because I think part of the reason I ended up not enjoying it as much as I otherwise would have was that I didn’t know it was a fairy tail// legend// folklore retelling. Had I known that--and the story itself-- I think I would have enjoyed looking for the connections and differences between the original myth and the story the author chose to tell. 

But I hadn’t known, so I didn’t. 

I ended up finding out this was a retelling right at the entrance of the third act, and AS SOON AS I KNEW I googled the story, read a few different iterations, and tried to forgive the bits that I really disliked using this newfound knowledge and the (admittedly) skilled weaving of original story and imagination showcased in the debut. 

As you might have gleaned from my rating, however, this didn’t work out so well for me. WELL, MONICA--you might be saying--WHY DID YOU EVEN BOTHER TELLING US ALL OF THIS? 

Well readers, I tell you this because if you do know the story of Iseult and Tristan, then you very well might LOVE this telling of it and I really really do not mean to ‘yuck your yum’ as I am inclined to say. My initial ignorance and dislike of some of the tropes utilized in the book definitely affected my feelings for it and in the interest of being fair, I wanted to inform you of my bias. 

K? K. Now for my (mostly unspoilery) review. 

Firstly, here’s the summary included on Goodreads for your reference: 

“Two proud kingdoms stand on opposite shores, with only a bloody history between them. As best friend and lady-in-waiting to the princess, Branwen is guided by two principles: devotion to her homeland and hatred for the raiders who killed her parents. When she unknowingly saves the life of her enemy, he awakens her ancient healing magic and opens her heart. Branwen begins to dream of peace, but the princess she serves is not so easily convinced. Fighting for what's right, even as her powers grow beyond her control, will set Branwen against both her best friend and the only man she's ever loved.”

The weird thing about me as a reader is that I usually like to read the first or second paragraph of the blurb and then dive into a book because SO OFTEN now, events halfway through the book are spoiled in the blurb. In this case, it bit me in the butt. Why? Because in paragraph NUMBER 3 (which I never ever read) the fact that this is a retelling is made blatantly obvious. 

How. 

Stupid. 

Am.

I?

ANYWAY, from the bit I’ve included, I wasn’t too thrilled at the idea of this book. I was pretty sure it was going to read like a lot of other books I had picked up earlier in my reading life and I was definitely right. I almost DNF’d this book several times just because it wasn’t anything special. Don’t get me wrong, the writing was okay, the story was okay, but it just felt like it was a regurgitation of a lot of tropes I’d already seen and one that I really, really hated. 

Enter my rant about insta love. Because, yeah, that trope is in here. 

Enter mild spoilers. If you don’t want to see them (even though they happen in the very first few pages of the book) then go ahead and skip until you see a gif of a frustrated monkey)

The romance of the story starts almost immediately and it starts because of this sequence of events: main character sees pretty boy drowning. Falls in love with pretty boy’s abs. Realizes pretty boy is from a place she hates. Pretends that she hates him because of this but I as a reader didn’t buy it since every other sentence she was already convincing herself that maybe she didn’t hate this country because OH YEAH, this guy is pretty. 

I’m sorry, but if you really hate a place and a people that much, one handsome face isn’t going to change your mind in the course of A DAY. I mean, she basically blames this huge group of people for the demise of her parents... and we’re supposed to believe that she’s already changing her mind? She did like literally zero things to tell me she ever hated anyone. And sure, it takes her like, a week of going back and forth between the cave to FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM, but she kind of throws away a hatred we’re supposed to believe is super strong after thinking he was hot. 

No. I’m sorry. I hate hate as much as the next person, but I would have liked to see it devolve because of his kindness, or her realization that her misconceptions of his people were wrong, not because he was rocking a killer tan. 

In spite of the insta love, however, there was a day that I was reading this where I couldn’t put it down. Idk, call me a sucker for a romance or whatever, because that’s what kept me reading. I really like seeing love begin and all the stuff that comes in hand with it. Plus, earlier into the story I kind of liked our main character. She was responsible, a good healer, just nice to root for. And the friendship between her and Essy was done really well. 

But then things started to change for the worse for me. The main character kind of began to devolve and make decisions I thought didn’t allign with who she was and the story began to drag. I felt like whole sections of the book took me years to get through and could have been cut. I also think that-- maybe for the first time ever-- the story didn’t begin early enough. 

*gasp* I know. I just said that. 

If we had gotten the chance to at least see Branwen believe (or not believe) some of the things we were told she did/didn’t, then it might have been easier to feel close to her as a character. As it is now, it feels like I was info dumped too much and not shown enough.

(Again, minor spoilers.. so if you don’t want to read them, skip to the gif of Dumbledore. Everyone loves Dumbledore.) 

This is what the book did:

BOOK: Magic crap happens

Branwen (all of a sudden and out of nowhere): Oh yeah, by the way it’s kind of important that you know that I totally don’t believe in the Old Ones at all. What is religion? My parents are like dead and nothing saved them so yeah. No way.

Queen Alana (who has presumably always been very vocal about her Old Ones belief): Girl, they’re real.

Branwen: I HAVE BEEN ENLIGHTENED!!!

Me: ... ... ...

My other problem was that the climax didn’t feel too climactic. Stuff happens (WHAT A SPOILER OMG) that might appear climactic, but you honestly don’t even know some of it happened until all the action has stopped. And at that point, you just don’t really care. I’m thinking of one thing in particular and if you have read the book you likely know what it is. That was a shame to me because I feel like that moment could have really added to the feelings felt in the climax and brought this book up a peg. As it was I was left feeling like... this is it? That’s... all I get? 

All that being said I was pleasantly surprised by the ending. I predicted it like half a book before, but the way it was written really made me consider wanting to read the second. I’m a sucker for a good cliff. 

I feel like I just basically spat on the whole book, so before I say goodbye I just want to add this: there was nothing problematic in the book as far as I could tell. There wasn’t anything that made me think WOW this is garbage, it just wasn’t for me and that’s okay. If there’s an insta love moment in a book A LOT has to happen to win me back to that book’s side, and this book just didn’t make the cut.

Let me know what you guys thought if you did read it, and as always if you have any questions feel free to ask them on the blog or leave a comment below!

Thanks,

Monica

Finally catching up with the Mandalorian. I don't have any good meta yet, but I do have some immediate reactions. In no particular order.

I feel like I should probably feel sorrier for Doctor Pershing, but that was a really obvious trap? Then again, I suppose that sort of thing is more obvious from the outside looking in. I'll have to rewatch and see if I can empathize a bit more with the guy. (I do think they did a good job of humanizing him, and giving him some realistic layers.)

I don't get the people who are like "this proves that the New Republic is JUST AS BAD AS THE EMPIRE." It proves that the New Republic has flaws, just like the Pre-Imperial Republic had flaws. But there's a difference between well-meaning-but-flawed and the full on Nazi-allegories in the Empire/First Order.

I didn't expect the twist of Bo and Din staying with the covert and am fascinated. Especially given all the theories about the Covert/the Armorer. And the clear Death Watch references. I feel like Bo-Katan's past will be roosting pretty soon. (Darth Maul casts an interesting, unspoken shadow over this part of the plot.)

There's something fascinating about the fact that the child who looked so much like Din in the first episode of the season (I actually assumed we were watching a flashback at first), is Paz's own Foundling.

Like father, like son. Everyone has traumatic flashbacks in the forge. Does the Armorer know?

I still think it was fair to criticize Jar Jar Binks as a character/racial stereotype, but that was never the actor's fault, and I'm thrilled that the he's getting a better role.

I'm adding Kelleran and Grogu to my list of hoped for reunions (also Reva and Grogu!).

Din Djarin interacting with the children of the Covert is endlessly entertaining. "Perhaps this lesson is for you then." As I said above, I have the distinct feeling that the kid, Ragnar, is probably really similar to Din himself as a child.

Of course the Mandalorians socialize their children by toddler fisticuffs, and hang around a planet where a giant bird monster kidnaps MULTIPLE children. AND giant crocodiles. Mandalorians are fucking hilarious.

I've said this before, but I could ship Din/Bo. I like femdom pairings, and she'd definitely top him gloriously.

And of course Ragnar got eaten (and spat out) by the monster. He IS Din 2.0. And Paz is his father. The Force works in mysterious ways.

Monster foundlings!

Damnit, I really am going to have to suck it up and watch the Mandalorian episodes of the Clone Wars, aren't I?

My Thoughts on Representation in Rick Riordan's Books

Here’s my deal with Magnus Chase, and just Rick in general: The universe is brilliant, as are many of the characters (such as Sam, Alex, Blitz, Hearth, and even Jack) what just irks me is that Magnus is related to Annabeth and that they're dragging Percy and crew into the story. That's also why I'm not a fan of Trials of Apollo. The Greek/Roman universe is well past its prime, and personally, I think that despite the fandom being attached to those characters, Rick would do better establishing entirely new ones. Which is one of the reasons I greatly enjoyed the Kane Chronicles. As for Solangelo- unpopular opinion time- I'm not a fan. I like the idea. I just don't like how it was executed. I feel like it was rushed and sloppy, almost like a way for Rick to say 'there! Now I have a gay couple!" I feel as though there was a certain subtlety needed that wasn't there. I've read books with LGBT characters that were brilliantly written- namely Wylan and Jesper in Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, and Nim in Wonder Woman: Warbringer by the same author. These characters provided the representation (the latter even being in modern-day society), but it was, in my opinion, much more gracefully done than Rick's rather 'in-your-face' manner. Or even in some of Sarah J. Maas's works- Her Throne of Glass series contains a bisexual male character in a relationship with a female one, as well as a princess with a female lover. And, in her series A Court of Thorns and Roses, she's got a lesbian character. Anyway, that just got me off on a whole tangent about LGBT inclusion in books- but back to my main point- Rick's worldbuilding is marvelous. His plots are decent, and his characters and relationships have a lot of potential. I just feel that he has a tendency to bow to the whims of what the fandom wants (i.e. Solangelo right now, and more Percy & co.), and that isn't always what is best for his books. I feel like if Rick did go ahead and write Magnus with no relation to Annabeth, it would be better. Perhaps the fandom wouldn't be all too happy at first, but I feel like they'd warm up to it if the plots and new characters are good enough. I didn't not like Alex. Once again, I feel as though there is a lot of potential . Unfortunately, it usually ends up going sideways because, in my opinion, I think he is trying too hard. Even with Samirah, to an extent, and even Piper in HoO. At this point, I feel like saying I get it, Rick. You have representation. Good for you. Because, as stated, there are better, more subtle ways to represent minorities, and I feel like Rick is doing it just so he can say that he is inclusive. Prime example of brilliantly including minorities- The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer. It's a series of futuristic dystopian retellings of fairytales. Cinder (Cinderella), is a half-Asian cyborg mechanic, and her prince is Asian. Scarlet (Little Red Riding Hood) is a kickass (and curvy!) woman who knows how to fire a gun, and Wolf is Middle-Eastern. Cress (Rapunzel), is a computer hacker and genius, and Winter (Snow White) is black and still deemed the prettiest in all the land. And Meyer includes all of these things, all of these powerful women and people of color, but it feels organic and genuine, unlike a lot of Rick's minority characters, who feel as though they were created solely for representation and the plot was built around them, rather than the other way around, which I personally find problematic. I actually would be interested in seeing Blitzstone play out- namely because it feels natural. The characters have known each other for a while and readers have had two books to see them interact in a mostly platonic way. I also like how neither of them was ever pegged blatantly as homosexual/bisexual/queer/etc. (unlike Nico, for example, or how Alex had to state plainly that she was genderfluid). Nico's coming out scene was not well-executed at all in my opinion- it was awfully blatant and overdone. While I understand that there is a need to say it in some cases so that people understand, to make it this big, glaring thing as Rick has in the past (once again, with Nico and Alex), isn't the way to go about it. For example, back to Leigh Bardugo- in Wonder Woman: Warbringer, Nim's sexuality was mentioned in passing. Literally, it was another character saying "Nim's gay. Maybe bi, she's still figuring it out." And after that the main plot of the story continues, and the transition and dialogue is smooth and coherent, which I feel is lacking in Rick's situation. (Case in point, Nico's confrontation scene with Cupid) Rick's main problem is wasted potential. He creates these insanely good worlds and universes and these fascinating plots and quests, and then blows the entire thing up with his characters, because suddenly, it's not Apollo saving the world, it's Apollo (did I mention he's bisexual) saves the (oh, and he supports his gay son) world (and also had a kid from a relationship with a guy oh wow!). Or Samirah trying to help Magnus turns into Samirah (the Muslim girl who was bullied and look she has a magical hijab oh my gosh!) helping Magnus. He tries too hard to push for these things and in the end, it doesn't help the main story at all. Like I said, I'm all for representation. I like seeing diverse characters- people of color and LGBT people, but I don't like putting them on a pedestal and deterring from the main storyline because of them. As for JK Rowling, I do think she did well representing people of color (especially what with Hermione in Cursed Child- having never stated whether or not Hermione was black and letting it be either way. I was not a fan of Cursed Child at all but I don't want to go down that road right now. But props to including people of color there). Additionally, there were characters like Cho Chang, Dean, the Patils, etc. who were clearly minorities but never blatantly so. Though I definitely think that she could have done more with LGBT inclusion, I am not going to condemn her all that much on it because Harry Potter is a literary masterpiece, and outside of the main characters, it leaves a lot of room for speculation and for people to draw their own conclusions in regards to many of the minor character's relationships, lives, and even sexualities and relationships. That definitely wasn't the case with Rick- all of the minority characters were pushed into our faces and many tertiary and secondary were pointed out because of this in a way that was far too outright for my liking.

The first things that come up in your mind when more main lok ships are mentioned? I guess I shouldn't make it too vague, so how about uhhh: korrasami (even thought we know thaT lolol) kyalin! kainora! wuko! mako/operator???, bopal! zhurrick! limi (Lin + bumi I guess?!) makorra, boasami??!, why not!

Korrasami: my life Kyalin: cute! Lin is a blast to write, and they make a pretty good odd-couple. Kainora: I don’t tend to focus too much on relationships with characters so young, I just kinda feel like, in all reality, 90% of them wouldn’t work out. People are still figuring substantial things out about themselves and they way they see the world, what they want in life, what they need in relationships. The likelihood that two people dating in their teens will still be on the same page at 25 feels… low, to me. That said, I have no problems with Kainora–Good Honor Student Girl and Reformed Bad Boy is a tried-and-true ship style. I think it’ll be tougher on Kai, since Jinora is so exceptional, AND Tenzin’s daughter… probably he wants some identity for himself, and not just to be “Jinora’s partner”, you know? Wuko: It’s not NOT there. Wu definitely seems to have a thing for Mako, though he also has some degree of toxic masculinity leading to some weird and gross behavior around ladies. Wu does grow a lot over book 4 (even if that is at the expense of airtime for Asami, *mutters darkly*), so I don’t hate him. My personal read is, he’s closeted gay, in denial because of the expectations of a royal heir. Mako is protective, loyal, and dashing–naturally Wu would find that attractive! I just don’t, personally, read Mako as returning those romantic feelings. But for those who do read him that way, it is kinda cute! Wu would adore and yet exasperate Mako, both of which he kinda deserves, haha.

Makoperator: Haha, I mean sure why not. My pairing for Mako started essentially the same way. Also, given that Bolin, Korra, and Asami basically all end up with princesses, I kinda like the idea of Mako winding up with a very capable but otherwise not socially or economically remarkable nonbender.

Bopal: Healthy ship! Very cute! They’re gonna have a million kids. Zhurrick: Conflicted. I loved Zhu Li telling Varrick what-for in book 4, but to be honest Book 4 Zhu Li felt like an entirely different character than she was previously. Granted, it’s been three years, but we don’t get to see that development. Further, I don’t particularly feel Varrick’s redemption in book 4 was earned. He did some more than problematic things in book 2–like, helping to instigate a war to profiteer from. There’s blood on his hands, and the show just sorta forgives him for it. He was more interesting as a grey hat. I know the comics are making Zhu Li a political figure, but honestly, it feels like she’s more signed up for protecting the world from her madman husband, haha.

Limi: What? Honestly, I peg Bumi as Ace. Makorra: It was rushed! It came out of nowhere! There was no buildup! Haha, I kid (well, sorta). I know there’s a lot of bad blood between Makorra shippers and Korrasami shippers, but some of my best friends here have or do ship Makorra as well. Makorra was… rather forced, in my opinion, in book 1. But I kinda feel like the writers didn’t have a great feel for the characters yet. If Book 1 Korra got to meet Book 4 Mako, then I would probably have found it far more credible, but he kinda had to learn everything he did to get to where he is. What I will say is, I ADORE Makorra as a BrOTP. While their romance was tired and overdone, the narrative of having a breakup, even a fairly nasty one, not preclude a deep and respectful friendship after is something we need to see more of. Bosami: BrOTP. Totally.

6 Takeaways From Lifetime's 'Harry and Meghan: A Royal Romance'

Lifetime channel's fascinating fictionalization of the whirlwind romance between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle aired Sunday, and it left us with a lot of things to think about -- and to be absolutely confounded by.

From the bizarrely surreal use of lions as symbolic representations of Princess Diana, to a warm, motherly representation of Queen Elizabeth II -- who really does not appreciate Netflix's The Crown -- to overtly insulting remarks about Markle's legal drama Suits, Harry & Meghan: A Royal Romance covered a lot of ground while also being disconcertingly self-aware.

So, after a nearly two-hour made-for-TV movie about the royal family (several members of which are depicted in less-than-flattering, borderline reality TV villain ways, to put it mildly), here's a look at a few of the night's biggest takeaways and most head-shaking scenes.

1. Princess Diana Has Some Really Questionable Advice

The movie starts in 1997, following the death of Princess Diana, when Prince Charles took Harry and William to Africa to avoid the media spotlight.

During one flashback scene from before Diana's untimely demise, the beloved Princess (played by Bonnie Soper) is speaking with a very young Harry, where gives her son some super questionable advice: "It's OK to be naughty sometimes, so long as you don't get caught."

Which -- if Harry's wild clubbing and Nazi uniform-wearing party days that are depicted later in the film are any indication -- was a motto the impressionable prince took to heart (except the "not getting caught" part).

2. Prince Harry Is a Lion Whisperer

While in Africa as a child, Harry is sitting under a tree when a lion approaches and just looks at him. While Charles takes aim with his rifle, Harry angrily pushed the gun away, saving the wild beast.

Later in the film, Harry (Murray Fraser) awkwardly tells Meghan (Parisa Fitz-Henley) that he thinks the lion was actually a vessel for the reincarnated spirit of his late mom, which she is fully on-board with.

All these royals freaking out about Meghan besmirching the royal family's reputation seem to be ignoring the fact that Princess Diana turned into a lion and is just roaming around Botswana #ARoyalRomance

— Jurassic Clarke (@JurassiClarke) May 14, 2018

Months go by and, on the anniversary of Diana's death, Harry and Meghan travel to Africa together, where she pushes him to talk about his grief. In a fit of rage (and classic avoidance) Harry storms out of their tent, with Meghan in tow.

Soon, they come face to face with a lioness, who stares at them peacefully -- which symbolically serves as Diana approving of their relationship.

3. 'Harry & Meghan' is Bizarrely Self-Aware

From the first moments of seeing Harry and Meghan as adults, it's hard to avoid the unsettling realization that this is a biopic depicting events that happened within the last year or so. Meghan is even introduced filming an episode of Suits.

In fact, this Lifetime movie really makes a point of insulting Suits as often as possible. One character says it's "not exactly Shakespeare," while another scene tries to show how much of a self-possessed badass Meghan is by having the writers change a line in a scene because she feels like she says it "in every episode" -- then they change the line to something even more cliched.

Meanwhile, when Meghan and Harry meet with Queen Elizabeth (Maggie Sullivun), the insanely friendly monarch asks the actress if the actress was involved in the Netflix mini-series The Crown, and then complains about people making biopics about people who are still alive.

 4. Meghan's Casting Was Amazing (Other Royals… Not As Much)

When Lifetime turned to Parisa Fitz-Henley to play the stunning Meghan Markle, they couldn't have asked for a better actress (apart from getting Meghan to actually play herself, because again, all of this happened within the last two years, so she'd be perfect for the part).

Parisa looks remarkably similar to Meghan, she's got the strong, determined air and she added a lot to the role.

As for Harry, casting Murray Fraser was a decided compliment. Sure, he looks like a soap opera version of the 33-year-old royal, but you can't expect a Lifetime movie to go any other way. At least he's handsome and talented.

The strangest casting was probably Prince William, played by Burgess Abernethy. While the guy does an admirable job, the decision to give the Prince more hair than he has in real life, but still partially balding, never stopped being distracting.

Lmaoooo Lifetime did Prince William SO dirty this time... #ARoyalRomancepic.twitter.com/MUlCpFSpFQ

— Ellen Laurers (@LaurenDramaGirl) May 14, 2018

who replaced prince william with this 43-year-old accountant from Ohio #ARoyalRomancepic.twitter.com/afvWW8od7v

— Claire Fallon (@ClaireEFallon) May 14, 2018

5. They Addressed the Racist Brooch

One of the major turning points in the film came when Harry was sulking at Pippa Middleton's wedding reception,  where he was unable to invite Meghan, and runs into some older royal relative wearing a racist "blackamoor" brooch -- which is a pin designed to look like a stereotypical depiction of an African native, representing the English empire's colonialist roots.

Harry tells her off during the party, which leads to her drunkenly insulting Meghan's biracial ethnicity. The heated exchange eventually leads Prince Charles to understand the dangers of steadfast adherence to tradition and he tells his son to bring Meghan to the party so he can meet her.

In real life, however, there are a few things that happened differently. While the Queen’s first cousin, Princess Michael of Kent, did wear a blackamoor brooch to a royal event where Meghan was, the incident occurred in December 2017, over a month after Harry and Meghan were already engaged. So that incident really had nothing to do with anyone suddenly accepting Meghan into the family.

I really hope people don’t watch this movie and actually think this is how everything went down. #ARoyalRomance

— The Petty Mess (@ThePettyMess_) May 14, 2018

Also, in real life, Meghan was invited to Pippa's wedding reception. Also, Princess Michael of Kent didn't belligerently defend her decision to wear the problematic jewelry, but instead released a statement, saying, "The brooch was a gift and has been worn many times before. Princess Michael is very sorry and distressed that it has caused offense."

Y'all they put the Princess Michael racist brooch in the movie! Lifetime is not holding back. #ARoyalRomance

— Harry & Meghan (@WalesAndMarkle) May 14, 2018

6. Kate Middleton and Prince William Don't Come Off Great

While both William and Kate eventually befriend and support Meghan and Harry by the end of the movie, their attitudes throughout most of the film could best be described as Mean Girls-esque.

From making them both look pretty conniving to Kate straight-up manipulating people multiple times, it felt like someone at Lifetime really wanted to knock the Duchess of Cambridge down a peg. 

William and Kate watching the way they are being portrayed in this movie.....#ARoyalRomancepic.twitter.com/N6PCfdJgK5

— Mandy (@SF49ERS1946) May 14, 2018

Why are they making Kate and Will seem so cold? Did the creators have some hate towards them? Kate is wonderful and there is no need to put her down in order to put Meghan on a pedestal. #ARoyalRomance

— Madison McLean (@madison_mmclean) May 14, 2018

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It’s funny, but I actually really liked the Mandalorian Season 3.  It’s just been really busy lately, so I haven’t had time to blog about it.

I won’t lie, I was a little disappointed not to see Din Djarin as the galaxy’s most reluctant King Arthur, but I was intrigued by the way that most of advantages/triumphs that folks imagined for Mand’alor Din Djarin were things that Din actually accomplishes anyway.  

And it’s really interesting, because I’m not sure how much of Din’s actions in the Mandalorian Season 3 were deliberate.  We’re used to him stumbling about, ignorant and serendipitous, making lives better through sheer bull-headed stubbornness, honor, and getting bullied by everyone around him.   But I’m not actually sure that’s what happened here.

When Bo-Katan fights Axe Woves, he’s frustrated that she never fought for the saber.  Din’s the one who points out that actually, she won it already, when she saved him on Mandalore.  (This was something I saw some viewers point out too, and I was pretty entertained to see that Din had the same thought.)

So when did Din realize this interpretation?  When did he decide his course of action?  As straightforward and simplistic as he can be, we’d have expected him to just give back the darksaber immediately, right?

Instead...he drowns in the waters of Mandalore.  Called that one!  That was great!  She dives after him and rescues him.

He brings her to the Children of the Watch.  Ordinarily, they’d view her as a heretic.  They’d never give her the time of day.  But she’s bathed in the Waters too.  Which means, Bo-Katan suddenly ends up in a position to be welcomed into the “cult” that she dismissed before, and they’re in a position to be receptive to a woman that they would normally have dismissed as a heretic.  Eventually, she wins them over through her own actions, and by the end, even the Armorer and Paz Vizsla are willing to follow her: helmet or no.

More than that, they’re willing to fight alongside Bo-Katan’s other followers.  People who they normally wouldn’t acknowledge as Mandalorians at all.

If you think about it, Din Djarin just united Mandalore.  Just not in his own name. 

(And not in a way that takes away from Bo-Katan’s own achievements.  I appreciate how her return to grace comes from choosing to help a man rescue his baby - even with other motives, then responding to a baby’s call for help to save a man from his own stupidity, then saving Paz Viszla’s son and bringing back some new “foundlings”.  In a way, it seems like Bo-Katan herself is shedding her years of bitterness, and reconnecting to a more traditional ideal of Mandalorian-ness?)

Din Djarin isn’t the king.  He’s the kingmaker, a role that suits him much much better.  And I still have no idea if he did it on purpose.

It makes me intrigued for Season 4.  We might stay with Mandalore, of course, but I think it’s more likely that we’ll be sticking with Din.  Who is now a freelancer working for/with the New Republic.

We’ve seen the New Republic’s flaws this season.  We’ve seen how Elia Kane expertly wields their own idealism and buried corruption against them.  It’s interesting, actually, to compare the role Elia plays for Gideon to the role Din plays for Bo-Katan this season. She’s still out there as far as we know.

Will the man who united Mandalore be able to blunder his way into fixing the nascent New Republic?

It does amuse me when I see people complain about Din Djarin being a “princess in distress” for Bo-Katan this season.

For me, that’s absolutely a selling point for both the show and the ship.  

But really, there’s a reason my Din Djarin tag is “gun-toting Victorian governess in space”.  Dude’s always been “the chick” in my book.

So I did catch up with the Mandalorian.  

I could absolutely get into the Bo-Katan/Din Djarin ship if it continues along this “badass lady saves her pretty himbo damsel” dynamic.

(Darksaber pegging fic, where?)