2024 Watch List pt1

Here we go again!

To sir, with love - This is a lakorn so it's appropriately dramatic. The mothers are absolutely foul and do an awful lot of scheming and yelling. Jam/Film are intensely watchable and make wet fish kisses look terribly romantic. Tongtong Kitsakorn as Yang was a revelation. I'm sad he's pm just a lakorn actor/pop star because he is so watchable. I loved that, though they were evil and insane, the mothers all felt fleshed out and realised. You understood why they were yikes. 3½/5 (2/1/23)

A Boss & a Babe - I quit this at episode 2 and then decided to go back to it. I don’t regret doing so. This isn’t top tier but it’s also not shit tier. Cher, the very dictionary definition of toxic positivity, and Gun, an autism coded cat man, enter into an extremely quick romance (like seriously, it’s taken hard worn lesbians longer to say I love you) the catch being they’re intern and company boss. Honestly in another drama that would have been the the huge hiccup of the series, keeping them apart, but it’s consistently shown to be more of an issue for others that it is for them. This is very low conflict, mostly romcom fluff with two weirdly intense, barely explored side stories for support characters. I didn’t loath Force in this and would actually like him to be given more roles where he’s just a soft simp and not a boring sarcastic one. Book does some good comedy work here. 3/5 (4/1/23)

The day I loved you - I know this won’t work for everyone. It’s a bittersweet ten episode love story between a boy with ASL and the ‘rebel’ exchange student at his school. Pinoy BL, for me, either really hits or really misses and this hit. It does use a questionable model of disability, namely the inspiration model, but I cant nit pick too much when this is only ten 15/20 minute episodes. I enjoyed it a lot, you may also if you’re okay with a bittersweet ending vs an out and out happy one. 3½/5 (12/1/24)

VIP Only - Well this was adorable. Slow as molasses and just as sweet. This probably won’t be for everyone, very slow and not much happens other than character growth and a love story, but it worked for me. The edit is horrendous in places and I do wish Taiwan did longer episodes, but those are my only gripes. 3½/5 (19/1/24)

I cannot reach you - I don’t really watch Jbl. There are just styles and tropes that I don’t enjoy watching that Japan uses a lot of. It’s a taste thing more than it is anything else. So keep that in mind. This is full of a lot of the things I don’t like; over action, randomly running everywhere, sudden non-con. But it’s also endearingly sweet and very well acted, so I did find myself enjoying it. I don’t think this’ll awaken a desire to watch lots of Jbl but it has made me consider some others. 3/5 (20/1/24)

Last Twilight - I had a lot of fun with this. The dialogue and acting were all top notch and, as ever with Aof productions, it was stunning to look at. It weaves the story of two broken people healing one another very well with Jimmy & Sea doing beautiful work as Mhok & Day. I think this came a little unstuck at points in the end. I liked most of the romance movie style ending but I remain a little unsure about Day’s ending. Still, this is a show that I enjoyed every week and will have no issues rewatching. 4/5 (26/1/24)

Old Fashion Cupcake - I’m working on trying out more JBL to get a feel for what I do and don’t like. This? This I like. We don’t have enough stories about older people anyway and this does it well. Togawa’s slow courting of Nozue through shared experiences and casual intimacy is delicious to watch. 4/5 (4/2/24)

Pit Babe - I love when I show wholly knows what it is and doesn’t try and be anything but that. This knew it was a big ol’ fanfic and leaned wholeheartedly into that. Whether it was the breeding program subplot or the consistently dumb toothpaste and sausage ppl it handled them both with equal aplomb. It’s also worth noting that was largely really well acted too! Pavel, Nut & Sailub particularly impressed me but there was nobody bad. 4/5 (9/2/24)

Our Dining Table - My journey into JBL continues and this was the best one yet. Soft pining between two sad boy leads with a gorgeous found family story woven in. The treacle slow courting between these two won’t be for everyone but it was wholly for me. 5/5 (17/2/24)

Cooking Crush - The edit on this was criminally bad at points, sometimes I truly felt I’d skipped a part and I hadn’t at all, but it still served up a good little story. If you’re visiting this for the romance it’s not really that, the story is in the friends and their lives more than it is in Ten & Prem’s romance. I loved the comedy in this, it hit those notes well and was never over the top. (Lots of puns that I expect are super good if you speak Thai.) Nobody is bad in this, everyone delivers, but OffGun are as watchable as they always are and the few kisses they do have are perfect. 3/5 (18/2/24)

The Novelist - When I say I don’t love JBL it’s usually because the tropes are just too tropey for my tastes. Apparently I’m a lying liar who lies because this is extremely Japanese and I loved every moody second of it. Kijima is a sad, lonely, messed up man who doesn’t think he’s deserving of anything good and it’s wildly compelling to watch. 4/5 (18/2/24)

Mood Indigo - Fucked up 4 Fucked up. Two broken, sad, lonely men mess up repeatedly, and erotically, that’s it that’s the show and I ate it up with a spoon. Deeply flawed assholes being toxic together, when it’s well written and well acted, is so disgustingly watchable to me and this certainly was. 5/5 (18/2/24)

The Novelist: Playback - Continues where The Novelist ends. I watched the clean version of this, it was what was available to me, and was still deeply entertained. So if you think people watch this series for the heat then you’re incorrect. This is another instalment of Kijima Rio being a horribly broken fuck up of a man. I loved it. 4/5 (21/2/24)

Tokyo in April is… - I love a good destined to be together trope when it’s done well and this is done beautifully. Kazuma and Ren fall in love as teenagers and are separated before finding one another again as adults. The pacing on this is a little rough, I get what they were doing with the sub-plot but it felt mildly unneeded and time would have been better given to exploring our leads generally or even Ren’s painful family issues. This is still a lovely drama that I wholly recommend. 4/5 (21/2/24)

is taiwan a straightforward settler colony?

(in response to a question abt this from @max1461)

mostly yes! but its complicated. note that this is all based on wikipedia stuff so like. grain of salt

okay, so quick history of taiwan

~1300-1600s: han chinese start visiting taiwan, chinese mechants, fishermen, pirates do some trading there, pretty run of the mill nearby islands stuff.

1600s: briefly, netherlands and spain have colonies there. last <50 years. usual bad colonialism stuff. dutch encourage chinese immigration as workers. briefly, a chinese guy has an independent kingdom in taiwan. did some classic colonialism type stuff. only lasted for 20 years. tens of thousands of chinese ppl on taiwan, i think. actual control over most of taiwans territory very limited during this period, its mostly limited+coastal

1700-1800: qing now controls taiwan. as above, control limited and coastal. the qing forbid mainlanders from coming to taiwan, expel many already there. however, demand for manpower for farming means lots of illegal immigration. central govt is trying to minimize expansion

1800-1875: expansion continues, still gradual, mostly as result of local forces. less limited than before though

1875-1895: japan tries to invade, china freaks out, this is the first time we see the govt actively encouraging settlement and subjugation of aborigines, etc. colonization still weirdly slow, and weirdly unagressive. they didnt want to do war so they paid the chiefs. weird. gradual assimilation of aborigines in low-lying areas. population numbers: millions of chinese, hundreds of thousands of aborigines

1895-1945: japan gets ownership from china. as far as i can tell, japanese settlement of like 350k by 1945, majority left after 1945. some perfunctory attempts at japanizaiton that didnt do much. they were pretty repressive though, on both the chinese and aborigines.

after this its under kuomintang control, they bring over like 10% of the population. anyway

so like. big picture is nowadays taiwan is vast vast majority self reported han chinese. like 97%. and there was mass-displacement but this is not a typical settler colony! its weird, as settler colonies go. far less govt encouraged. its definitely settlement, violent settlement, but not normal colonization from the perspective of a state. its weird. very contentious how much intermarriage there was. some people want to claim there was a lot but probably not. there are far more indigenous people in taiwan than there were before the settlement, cuz population growth

unrelated and I think I'm gonna make this post unrebloggable but I think that knowledge of the Battle of Shanghai in particular is really important for understanding more nationalistic Chinese ppl's feelings about the ROC flag and the way it's mobilized by the west and the taiwan independence movement because like. That flag was literally the flag of all of china from 1912 until 1949, which means it was flown by chinese forces throughout the entirety of WWII. As a result, an incredible amount of emotion is bound up in that flag. Chinese soldiers did suicide bombings on Japanese tanks during the battle of Shanghai under that flag and I think lots of people, even ones that aren't super political if they're older, have some sense of an emotional connection with it as representing an important era in the history of all of china. so, regardless of the actual merits of a taiwan independence platform to see it then used divorced from any of that context as a symbol of, regardless of whether this viewpoint is true or not, a US-directed plot to destroy Chinese unity, to re-imperialize China and and re-enslave its people, I don't think it's really all that surprising that reactions to that usage get very emotional

cata pls make a list of ur wlw shows!!!! i'd love to watch them all 💕

dawn hii 😘

(im not saying im a wlw connoisseur or whatever lol nd im not trying to get on a high horse or something im just sad ppl seem to hype only certain kinds of shows, and very few at that, when theres a lot of stuff already out there if you look for it... this is just a bit of what i watched and loved/liked/thought it was ok)

thai shows/movies:

love songs love stories: pae jai

the maid

the debut

saneha stories 4

the secret weapon

condo/barista/architect

what happened last night

the serpent's song

istories

special mention to nee ruk nai krong fai who did a wonderful arc but then RUINED IT on the last eps a total character assassination but it was wonderful while it lasted

also special mention to the shakeshoulder youtube channel... it's all ads but it's cute 😂 ❤️ ❤️ 

korea:

fantasy of the girls

alice: crack of season

out of breath

≥75℃

1 in 10,000

sf8 - we all know&love joan’s galaxy but the WILDLY ignored EP1: the prayer lives in my head rent fucking free

china

couple of mirrors

legend of yunze

legend of yunqian

red devil and heroine su

girls love

taiwan

fragrance of the first flower

the substitute

dear uranus

u loves you

japan

farewell song

until rainbow dawn

blue

schoolgirl complex

another list of wlw shows

I'm from Asia, and the overwhelming majority of us would straight-up not date white people. Some ethnicities are more likely to date out than others, but overall we're good, no thanks. Women who do date white foreigners tend to be levelling up economically (no judgement there from me) which is a well-known fact. While there is definitely white colonialist beauty standards at play in the majority of places, I have lots of experience with the corners that bs hasn't reached (Nepal, for a generally big example, where they love dark skin and certain features) - and even within the spaces where European-centric standards do apply, the majority of non-white people aren't interested in dating actual white people as a first choice. It has nothing to do with white people's racism or disinterest in non-white people lol. I don't know about the Middle East of course, but I think your experiences of Asia seem limited to the more English-speaking, cosmopolitan areas perhaps - or maybe you are talking about Japan, which I am not familiar with personally. However even in Korea I have a white friend (born there) who can't get a boyfriend because- in her words- men there sort foreigners as "fun times only" and local women as "marriage material". It's a bit ridiculous to think that billions of non-white people are genuinely thirsting over white people, it's simple not true - most people prefer to date within their race. Lots of people do feel attraction to white people, for the reasons you outlined or naturally as well, but your experience does not seem univeral (outside the Western sphere). It was kind of bizarre at first to come across this thinking in Western spaces but now it's just deeply agitating, because I notice non-white people in Western countries really do act like they're less attractive and it's insane to me. Like sorry, but here in my part of the world, certain Asian features on women are considered the height of beauty among these communities (to the point where that's problematic in and of itself). Definitely white beauty standards have wormed their way here too, but again, it didn't change most Asians' sexual preferences - it just made them look for those features in their own (not everyone, but most - yes some people would date white).

interesting… my experience has been the exact opposite. while i know some people would not marry a white person, they’re still the standard of beauty and marrying a white person can be almost a status symbol & people do act like dating them means you’ve won somehow. this applies for the middle east and i know similar standards exist in south & east & southeast asia. my gf explained the same type of phenomena exists in taiwan and neighbouring east asian countries & ive observed similar mindsets around white ppl being considered the most beautiful among south asians and west asians overall.

i’m not referring to english-speaking cosmopolitan areas either, i’m thinking of countries like the philippines and india and pakistan and basically the entirety of the middle east. admittedly i’m not familiar with nepal tho— it’s interesting to hear they prefer dark skin there, which is in contrast to the rest of asia in which colourism is very prominent.

i did notice white people are generalised as more of a “fun time” thing in many cases but people will still not look down on you for marrying a white person & shun you for it the way they would for marrying a black person, for example. the people generally think white people are the most appealing but often prioritise marrying people of similar backgrounds for the sake of cultural and familial standards.. not bc white people are deemed unattractive in asia. in fact, the whiter you are, the more beautiful you are deemed.

i'm thinking of moving to taiwan after college, how has it been treating you? a lot of people i know who did move to taiwan only talk about how hard the language is (even if they're taiwanese 🥲) but i wanna now how like, your everyday life is!

oooo, that sounds so exciting, wherever you end up i hope you enjoy it! But yea, so I live just outside of Taipei in New Taipei but New Taipei is actually huge and there are many parts of New taipei that are like super far from Taipei proper and are pretty hard to live in without a having a scooter or car. I'm assuming you've been to taiwan before if you think you want to move there but ya never know! I tbh knew very little abt taiwan before coming here but yea. Just giving you an idea of where I live and that i can't speak for all of Taiwan, just my area thats just outside of taipei but still served by their metro system (which is honestly super dope, shout out to the MRT).

So like I overall love living here sm, I'd love to live here someday for work or smth and not just studying abroad. The transportation is amazing, the nature is. so lovely. Like tbh no matter where I am in the city I am no more than 10 km away from the river or the mountains and everything is so green and nice. However in order to be so green all the time, taipei is very rainy and very humid. Legit my hair was such a nightmare when i got here, if you are from a dry climate, you will notice so many changes. Like my skin is rlly nice bc of the moisture, but my hair was unmanageable so i chopped it off. But I also have was less allergies now. If youre originally from a humid climate it should be nbd.

My daily life is honestly pretty easy. I live in a dorm so I didn't have to deal with things like speaking to a landlord or finding someone who would rent to me, or having to deal with utility bills, or dealing with the semi confusing garbage disposal system. But, I do know ppl that did have to do these things and speak way less chinese than I do and were just fine. Honestly, ppl say that you can live in the Taipei area without speaking chinese and be just fine bc most ppl speak english. Tbh idk how anyone does that, I rarely speak to anyone in english here but I think thats bc I always try speaking chinese first. Most people can speak a decent amount but unless you speak to them in english first theyll speak in chinese. I feel like most things you can learn just by living your daily life and learning high frequency words and when all else fails use google translate. But honestly, my life is very easy and pleasant. If I'm hungry I can easily go to a food stall or grocery store or convenience store near where I live. If I really don't want to leave the house, I can order food with a reasonable delivery fee (well reasonable to me, ik food prices are going up here).

Personally, I find that making friends here is pretty hard, but I'm not a very social person and find it hard to start conversations with ppl idk, and most taiwanese people don't talk to you if you don't talk to them, so this might be hard. But I feel like everyone is very friendly for the most part its just kinda finding the chances to make friends is rare if you aren't working or going to classes or know someone here already.

But overall yea no taiwan is a great place to live, there's a lot of things I'm gonna miss abt taiwan when i go home but somethings in my home country are hard to find here. Some of the traditional taiwanese food isn't bad, but not like my cup of tea, but you can find a lot here. It's just that most like foreign cuisine is more expensive or geared towards the locals so its not very authentic. I def miss hispanic food and some foods are hard to recreate here bc of lack of ingredients but taiwanese food is also very nice. Some dishes may look boring but are actually very good. I hope you like living in taiwan if you end up living here!

Mon 01/29/24 1:57am

it's been more than a year. damn. couldn't write all year bc i have been so ashamed & traumatized.

back in school for electrical engineering & honestly i hate it. at least im (slowly) learning some useful things from within the massive amounts of bullshit. when does this end...

if i could have seen into the future, i would be so ashamed & sad to know what im doing now. maybe i wouldn't have made it to today. maybe i would have just done better. what a mess.

it's a bit painful to relive but here are the facts:

terrible teaching job. rude, dirty, sick. kids were funny. one kid won the spelling bee (we would practice together in the hall) & told me she wanted to be an artist. one kid never talked & had bad spoken english but wrote a rly good reflection essay abt boarding schools & american education (postscript "im hungry"). one kid told me stories abt learning to drive a motorcycle with his dad in DR & bragged to all the other kids that i was a great help for his high school application. that is all.

went to taiwan w the roomies. it was ok. really beautiful, wish i saw more of the mountains & oceans

terrible nonprofit job. abusive, useless, malicious. spent a lot of time studying soc*alism w chinese ch@racteristics & material origins of class society. honestly developed some optimism for human progress. fired for working too many hours & representing the org extremely well on a panel where the other panelists and audience really lifted up my perspective. everyone respected my work except the narcissist clowns. i met a nice friend named alan. that is all.

went to china, & felt saved & relieved to see people standing up. this time there was much less air pollution, especially near the coastal cities. luoyang had a bit more, but the city was a giant network of parks. i counted five rows of trees on each side of the streets. my uncles are so smart with critical analysis of history, human progress, world politics, and local affairs. sigh... feels bad to be treated like a dog in this backward country. i realized that i need training that prepares me for the realities of this strange world.

applied to school for electrical engineering. studied python & calculus in the meantime-- & thank god i did... i honestly felt good abt the decision, knowing that i need to develop myself if i want to survive in this world.. & i have reasons or energy to do it instead of waiting for death. is that the end of depression?

hung out w adele, erica, & tracy a bit bc they were all in town for the holidays. i missed my friends. they were rly nice to me.

started school in january. it fucking sucks. ppl r so stupid & rude. ridiculous. im tired & angry every day. i am running a huge marathon full of sloppy, impossible problems that take hours longer than they should. overworked & mad every day.

some reflections i guess..

emmy has been really hands-off with my life. idk if they dont have ideas or dont want to step in, or they r just observing what happens. idk. i dont feel like emmy approves or disapproves of anything. maybe relieved when i escape the shitholes i dug myself into. i hope emmy can help me become someone i feel proud of. i helped emmy apply to masters programs but idk if its the right step for emmy, & they dont have strong reasons honestly. they got accepted by the committee a few days ago. sigh.. i desperately want emmy to have my back.

im back to being so depressed. unsure abt what im doing, feeling doomy abt past present & future. will things get better? im in trouble if i need to tell myself that to cope w the present. im stronger than i was before, i think....

hang in there, love.

recap of weekend (7/31)

the way we had sex two times on friday 💀💀

so we met his mom for kbbq yesterday and i was nervous as hell, trying to swap out my coffins for some “classier” earrings (which miserably failed because i haven’t taken out the coffins in forever and they’re technically still healing). but i put on a modest-looking outfit, tried to do light makeup, and brought a giant bag of fruit as a peace offering

i was super nervous driving over and it didn’t help that they arrived sooner that we did AHHH, and when we parked, his mom called and sounded as stern/short as my aunt (which spooked me even MORE)

his brother first waved us over and i was surprised that he was more filled out/average body type than luke (who is relatively sticc-like in comparison), and he seemed nice! they have a very playful dynamic (purposefully annoying each other and stuff)

his mom was rly short! shorter than i expected! i think we might be the same height or she might be slightly shorter. but he looks exactly like his mom! she seemed pretty nice and i think it helped a lot that i could speak some chinese (she would switch over to chinese at times, but sometimes would switch back to english because luke wouldn’t understand otherwise, or in her words, “失敗” lmfao). once i called her 阿姨, she started speaking in some chinese, which i could handle! since we were put on the waiting list for gen’s, we walked over to the nearby barnes and nobles and sat down to chat.

i was thoroughly questioned in terms of my family background/origin story, and i told her a bit about medical school. it seemed like she had all her hopes and dreams pinned on the youngest going into medicine, but that’s supposed to not be happening. according to her, i’ll be made the scapegoat if he doesn’t go into medicine, so i’ll take the fall no matter what LOL. i was able to be vague enough to not pin any urgent matters on him, so hopefully that went over well.

i learned about how she had luke when she was still in college, which was why he was born in hawaii. her parents emigrated from china to burma to taiwan, and then eventually she came to the us for college. 

once we were seated at gen’s, we started ordering quite a lot. i was surprised that they ordered more unconventional stuff (e.g. gyoza + korean fried chicken -- that stuff is too filling bc of the carbs), and i was glad i could provide some input in terms of introducing rice paper (or rice noodle squares) and suggesting types of meat. 

the whole time, i was cooking quite a lot LOL. i tried serving all of them, particularly making sure to serve her first and then her youngest son. i think she took kindly to that because she reciprocated the behavior later (吃!吃! while piling more shrimp on my plate AHHH), though i gained like 5 lbs after and HAVEN”T QUITE LOST IT. it meant that i didn’t eat as much in the beginning but was left eating quite a lot at the end. it was quite funny seeing luke struggling to eat and trying to eat really slowly so he could contribute in finishing up the shrimp that his mom was swiftly peeling

his mom started ordering a lot of seafood towards the end (calamari + shrimp), and she recounted how she was super used to peeling shrimp as it was something that they used to get back in burma. as the youngest of 8 siblings (!!) she would be in charge of peeling, so she was super fast + good at it. our luck that she ordered like 8 plates of shrimp (she even had to call ppl over to remind them that we were waiting on it -- we used up the whole 1.5 hrs at gen’s) and dealt shrimp like a overzealous card dealer at a casino. it was kind of funny and endearing to see, especially as she kept forcing stuff on my plate LOL. she asked if i were a picky eater, to which i answered no -- it was nice that she said we could eat together, as she loved eating c:

i wish i were able to talk to luke’s brother more, but he was a little on the quiet side and we were sitting diagonal from each other, which made it a little hard to talk/listen as well amidst the chaos of cooking and cross talk. regardless he seemed good-natured and pretty humorous (evidenced by the way he would mess around with his brother and also the food to some extent).

one sweet moment i witnessed was seeing his mom look at his youngest brother with unbridled mirth as he was picking up a chunk of rice. i could tell she really, really loved her sons. it also made me kind of envious of the relationship she had with her kids. (and vice versa)

they even took a piece of steak home for their dog oreo, folded in a little paper napkin

at the very end we took a group photo together; i thought i was going to take the photo for them, but she was like, “girls in the middle! guys on the outside!” which made me like “AH OK” internally LOL (luke said that she might use the photo to send to relatives/friends??? OH GOD)

and then she gave me a hug at the end! and said that we should take care of each other, esp as we’re asians in the US

it seemed like it went well, overall! luke even said it was like an 8 or 9 or 10 out of 10, and she normally says “take care of my son” as opposed to what she said during our meeting, which was a stark difference. she also seemed excited to meet me, which was a good sign.

i think i made a good impression and i hope i can meet her again in the future (??) and hopefully things don’t change

i’m sorry

i’m sorry i’m not the golden kid of the house. i’m sorry i don’t get perfect grades and cool interns. i’m sorry i don’t like computer science. i’m sorry i can’t make a lot of money. i’m sorry i need to pretend i want to be a scientist. i’m sorry i can’t play violin. i’m sorry i can’t be in dresses. i’m sorry i like girls. i’m sorry i like stuff that can’t make a lot of money. i’m sorry i can’t make a “succeed” life as you planed.

my whole life are meant to be about college. started from when i wasn’t even born, started from when you are back in taiwan. i was expected to get good grades, perfect gpa, to be able to attend to some rank 1 college. somewhere i used years to understand that i didn’t belong to. when i was born, the first thing i know is that i need to read books, bc get’s me into berkeley; i need to get 100/100 in school, bc that get’s bc get’s me into berkeley; i can’t make friend and can’t go to parties, bc get’s me into berkeley. everything is meant to be getting me into berkeley. i loss my whole childhood and teenage doing something i don’t understand and don’t really want’s to do.

every friends i make need to me valued. i can’t just make friends bc i like them, i can only make friends because they are giving me test answers or they can tell me news that might help. because of that, i am not capable of making friends until high school. i didn’t tell you that i actually got bullied until i am 15. they make sure no one talks to me in school and gives me a hard time in group work. till now, every time when there is a group work the first thing i do is look around and predict how each pair of people is going to work out. and to make sure i am not alone. if there is a triple group, i can’t stop thinking that i am the one who are left out. i can’t stop thinking that i am the one the other people doesn’t want. i can’t stop wanting to leave, bc i think that’s what they are thinking. sadly every time no one tells me they want me to stay. even the two of my best friends, probably i am actually useless and they don’t want me in group, or they just don’t think we are close enough. anyways, apparently now i need to talk about how i am good at making friends in college essays. i feel like i am lying, but that’s still happening. 

when i was teen age, you figured out that i can’t be in a good college and make a lot of money. you start trying to buy dresses and make me into your “polite, high class princess”, which of course, you decide to ignore and yelled at me every time i behave like i don’t want to. well, i really don’t want to, i might not be sure of my gender identity but i am pretty sure i don’t want to wear dresses and/or any cloth that is showing my body and makes my boobs and but looks bigger.

i did count, you mention this theory about “go marry a rich white man and rely on him for your living. but at the same time having some degree so his parent won’t be able to bully you” thing like at least once per day. and additions every time you feel bad for any reasons, mostly because you have another fight between you and dad. and you at the same time saying “yes i am okay with people being gay. i ma in san fran this is this is a place of pride i’m open! [wink wink]” and at the same time suspiciously whispering to someone when you see rainbow things, and be like “這樣他們是不是gay啊” when you heard someone have a “partner” (and then that “partner” turns out to be a heterosexual couple). (plus this ended up of me hating all ppl who don’t understand what is happening and just judge things, as in people like “ewww” when they heard a gay couple, or stop talking when they know you have a same sex partner, like usually when someone start dating they have other people teasing them, but when it comes to gay people it end up with silence and no one want’s to mention this as in this is a bad thing to talk about. but luckily all my friends, well at least the one who knows i am, doesn’t think this is a big deal, or are they saying things behind my back, no idea. i know they have no idea what’s going on, like i am pretty sure they have no idea of the difference between bisexual and pansexual, but they are cool enough and don’t think this is such a big deal, and i really appreciate this.)

also this is not the problem of boys and girls. it’s the problem that i am pretty sure i won’t be able to get with some one i don’t like or don’t love enough. i am pretty sure i will hate my life i need to be with someone i don’t like that much and i am sure they don’t like me that way either. i hate to pretend my feelings. specially hate to need to fake my feelings all the time. i am super tired of trying to hide the fact that i am gay.

i do want to go to college. i like the idea of learning for 4 years on a campus, having free times, live in a dorm and such. i would like to live in a middle size college, where i can bike around campus, not to big i need to drive, not too small that it ends in a 15 minute walk. i would like to live at some where that snows, i’ve never seen snow in my life. i would like to live in a dorm, where i share place with friends. i have all this ideas, but i guess it’s only going to be influence by ranking.

i’m pretty sure i can’t be the kid you want me to be. i am pretty sure i can’t make you proud. i am not sure if i am sorry.

i am pretty sure i need to forgive myself, and what ever that is i have faced. i need to love what i a was to be able to forgive who i am. however i don’t really know who i was before. i feel like that person has been separated to be an another personality. i feel like i’ve become someone else now. i don’t think i will notice myself if i get to meet them. i don’t think so. i am not sure if that is because i am faking myself or i find the true me. tbh i have no idea what’s happening rn. i think i am happy although i am having a crisis rn.

to: someone i am pretty sure i don’t need to apologize to

sincerely, me

The venn diagram of fluff romance and action romance do intersect but not all the time.

Examples where they intersect (somewhat): Till Death Tear Us Apart, History 3 Trapped, Advance Bravely. Though u would still say depending on one's tastes they aren't fluffy enough for the fluff romance watchers, have too much violence for that genre (since theyre all about as action and scary as The Mummy at times), and for a serious action romance watcher they may be too fluffy/comedic too often for their tastes (not as serious in tone as Not Me or The Untamed or Word of Honor with lives on the line and seriously terrifying moments - that said i suppose some of The Untamed is almost fluff romance in the first eps until tragedy strikes and it gets way too heavy to stay in the fluff category).

The Kings Affection was aiming for an intersection (but to me did not feel high stakes enough in tone despite ppls lives on the line), Tomorrow hits the intersection generally for comedy/action but not for romance (there's a good balance of comedy to serious action but the romance does skew serious). Crash Landing On You relies on some fluff tropes but its heavily weighed toward serious action romance rather than fluffy (people die so its not in the fluff genre ToT). Guardian has a LOT of fluff tropes (since rhe romance is basically two adults dating and courting the usual flirty way) but it's also amidst murder suspects and danger and intense action and lives are on the line so it may not appeal to the average fluff romance watcher as its general vibe includes a lot of action and serious heavy moments. Cdramas and taiwan dramas, from what I can tell, tend to hit this middle ground of includes fluff and intense serious stakes (ideally with fun action) - daomubiji plays here (very The Mummy vibes), Word of Honor, Guardian, Bromance (with baron chen), History 3 Trapped, etc. If you're looking for stuff inside that venn diagram cross section.

There's more action romance stuff coming out of thai dramas, so that's worth looking into too. And usually with some good comedy/fluff in pieces if not always overall (Not Me had some light-hearted comedy moments, Kinnporsche does, Three Will Be Free even did once in a while).

feeling things about my ethnicity again. it’s just sorta weird- i remember being a kid and thinking ‘oh i’m probably going to have identity conflict later in my life about this’ and i was right

ZZH + GJ x ELLE TW | Interview (28 April 2021)

Translations for the separate online interview the both of them did with ELLE Taiwan:

Talking to SHL GJ and ZZH | "Life can be simple as long as we do our best in the things we love" - 18 liners fulfilling their dreams

What do ZZH and GJ think of each other?

(1) With ZZH

Since the start of SHL, ZZH's role was set so that he only had three years left to live, hinting at the possible tragic ending early! Invested fans cried a lot & left ‘warning’ messages for the scriptwriter & director: "Even if it's unrealistic you better let him live!"

And when he was free during work the day before, ZZH accepted the online interview and was asked about his ZZS role and he, who usually dotes on his fans, said, "Thanks everyone for affirming/recognizing my acting skills, don't cry!"

ZZH's portrayal/acting was received very well by fans and his dynamic acting skills were revealed in many different directions because of SHL. He was praised to have nine faces, which means that aside from being well-rounded in his portrayal of happiness, anger, sadness, delight and other emotions, ZZH managed to interpret (his role) in a well-rounded way, with just a gaze and how calm he was from head to toe.

Taking on this role in SHL, ZZH says that his heart aches quite a bit for ZZS: "Towards his role, I can't say that I can give him any strength, but what I can do, is quietly feel and understand him."

Talking about his partner Gong Jun, ZZH attributed the success of the show and the efforts put into it to the team, and also praised GJ for being really professional, and fans look forward to be able to see the both of them work tgt in the future.

With a face that's gentle, handsome and has no bad angles, ZZH is most pleased with his defined nose. You may not know this, but in actuality, ZZH is not gentle/quiet at all! He likes to exercise and gym usually, through training, he fills his thoughts with positive energy.

Speaking about his Weibo UN "Crazy ZZH", we can't help but ask, is he a person who goes crazy (I guess, have a lot of fun, party like mad) without limits in private? ZZH says: "I chose this username to reflect a way to live - if I don't go to the extremes I will never accomplish anything.”

"I just feel that the things I'm passionate about I should do my best in them, for example, the craziest might have been when I was in university, I rode my bike solo all the way to Tibet!" He finished the journey step by step and because of this determination, it's reflected in his attitude towards filming & how meticulous he is. A lot of scenes that required fighting, ZZH communicated repeatedly with his teacher while learning and while he injured himself a bit, he said: "We must be responsible towards our roles, this is how an actor should be.”

"Thanks to everyone for recognizing/affirming me (as an actor), we'll continue walking the road together!” 

ZZH who is currently filming for a movie, promises that he'll definitely meet his TWnese fans in the future if given the chance. May 11 is ZZH's birthday and when asked about how he plans to spend his day, he casually says that it's in the planning, and as for birthday wishes, he said without hesitation, "I definitely hope everyone is healthy, and happy everyday!"

(2) With GJ

After SHL was broadcasted everyone fell for it completely, especially for GJ's role WKX. He managed to rank first in terms of entertainment tv influence. While he was free during work, GJ interviewed online and talked about the scene where his hair went white.

GJ: "My heart aches truly for WKX, I know a lot of fans cried because of him, thank you all for liking this show but I still hope everyone spends everyday happily!" 

He says he was once an 18-line actor & only started becoming popular on his 12th show, & thus he always cautions himself to head towards his dream with his feet on the ground, step by step. This special attitude is also reflected in the way he works; no matter the fighting or more dangerous scenes, GJ always does his best: "I don't know how many shows I've filmed! For fighting-related ones, I am thankful to the wushu laoshi and all the staff's guidance/protection, and once again under their training I safely completed this show, showing everyone the best shots!"

Aside from good acting skills, his styling was well-liked by fans especially when he wore that red outfit, he was endlessly charismatic "My fave is also the red outfit, and this outfit is also my most expensive one, hah!"

The rain scene left the greatest impression on him: "SHL is show with the most lines out of all that I've filmed so far; because a lot of WKX's lines are poetry, memorizing them really challenges comprehension and memory power, the toughest one was the rain scene, I have to adjust the emotions of the crying scene while in the rain and there're endless huge lines I have to recite, it definitely is challenging." 

 Those who follow him know that GJ is a simple person in private and in the interview he mentions: The happy thing about work is being able to earn money! Very few artistes can so blatantly say they wanna earn money, and as an employee who is passionate about earning money and finds joy in that, aside from buying a house so his family's quality of living increases, what does he wanna buy?

"I wanna buy a car! I really like cars a lot!" 

 In contrast to his cold, princely image, GJ's straightforward and blunt character has captured the hearts of his fans, especially when he sings in front of everyone unabashedly, taking on the title of "perfect (lack of) pitch", it is very adorable that he is willing to expose his weakness. But altho his singing skills are lacking, there's one skill that GJ has! And that's cooking! Because of the family rules set by his grandpa, the ppl in the kitchen in the Gong family are all the men.

GJ says: "It's true! The women in our family don't have to cook, it's all the men doing it. My grandpa, my dad, are all like that!" 

Basically it's no challenge for GJ to come up with a table of dishes. His signature dish is fish and when asked if his future other half really doesn't have to cook, that it can all be left to him, GJ says warmly, "Of course~" 

 And as a chef, GJ's build is on the taller side, "I really like to eat but I will control my diet. I gym often and try to eat less oily stuff. When I was in uni I was pretty fat, baby fat, but I lost that weight." 

 When asked which part of him he likes the most he says, "Hands! But I like em all! Because my parents gave them to me!" 

 During the interview it is not difficult to feel the deep relationship he has with his fam, especially when we chat about his grandpa. Aside from thanking his fam for the support, GJ is most thankful to his grandpa who has given him positive energy and encouragement until now, the person who he respects the most.

SHL did very well, in private who takes care of each other more btw GJ and ZZH? 

Both of their answers are the same: "In reality we take care of each other, because we're really good friends and in the production group we naturally take care of each other.”

Their chemistry and friendship extends to beyond the show and fans have also made plenty of creative CP works to share, we also anticipate their next work together! 

#where theyre like but if you treat prisoners well then homeless people will commit crimes on purpose to go jail instead of being homeless i rember back in the 00's, when this big economic recession hit taiwan and lots of people got laid off, a bunch of people did petty crimes and then turned themselves in to the police just so they can have a roof over their heads and meals every day

honestly 2 me that shows the government there did a really bad job at providing assistance to ppl then tbh

Imo, Japanese and taiwan bls show real professionalism in their art. They come, do their work, be decent and part ways. Taiwan may show some fanservice but not in any way other than these dudes being friends and Japan is all about their work. Japanese bls are either fluff or 18+ and more only, but all their intimate scenes are dependent on the whole story. Like, I don't mind that there is no kissing scene in cherry magic, because it suits the theme of the story. My point is that unwanted/unneeded fanservice need to be banned. Maybe that's a strong word, but the only people (in my opinion) who did it in a real manner are bkpp, upkao and maxtul. And maxtul maybe are extreme but I feel like they enjoy the whole thing and in fact are great friends and do not mind it.

japan and taiwan definitely have a different marketing strategy and concept compared to the thai industry. I don’t know if it has anything to do with professionalism though. They’re handling things differently but I don’t think I would call them more professional because of that. There’s a reason why thailand has been on the bl throne for years lmao so they’re clearly doing things right lol - Eventhough I find that hard to comprehend sometimes.

I've rolled out the topic of fanservice and why I find it so irritating a few times before so I won't go into it again. But I agree that there's clearly too much of it in the thai bl industry. Like it's gotten to a point where they're even making entire shows just for fanservice that have no plot and mediocre acting which kind of pushes the limits for me. (a few are funny bc they’re playing with it but with others it’s a cringefest) On the other hand, as I said, it seems to work because ppl are giving in to it and the capitalism is flourishing lol.

I barely know anything about the japanese bl industry but I agree that the way Taiwan is handling their bl stuff is more toned down and thus a lot more bearable.

And I agree about the actor pairings you mentioned. I don’t follow bkpp but with maxtul and kaoup you can tell they’re genuinely friends and they’re having a good time together - which is not to say that that’s not the case with other pairings - but it feels natural with them, which gives me a better feeling seeing them together haha.

xxx

remembering when i went on that spontaneous day trip to a village with a bunch of older viet people visiting taiwan. my father was livid of course. he woke up my brother (it was midnight to one AM there) to enable location services on my phone and he was threatening to call our family friend to send someone to pick me up (i was 2 hours away from taipei at that point). there were threats, yelling on the phone. all this happening while i was in a car with some viet ppl sponsored by a catholic church in taoyuan. there was an uncle in there sitting next to me, a camera man for some small time viet news company in the states. if i remember correctly it was probably a disgraceful one lol as most viet kieu things tend to be. but that uncle was really nice to me the whole time, really gentle. he saw my phone ring and as i reached to pick it up, probably looking exhausted and embittered, he told me, is that your father again? maybe you shouldn't pick up. and i felt embarassed and said, if i don't pick up, he'll get angry. and he said, oh it's all right. if he gets angry, then when you're back home, you can call him and beg him to forgive you (nan nghi he said, so it doesn't really sound as self-effacing as begging, but more pitiful and cute lol). i thought about that a lot. i still do. i thought about the viet kieu lawyer i met in taipei too. he did non profit stuff with his wife. he was my father's age, and completely unprompted he said, you know, every day i wake up and i see my wife, and i see our work, and i'm the happiest man in the world. i couldn't ask for anything else. i remember telling my parents this and they scoffed. like i was telling them a story i read in a magazine. how could anyone be that happy, they said. to this day i am stunned by their fundamental shelteredness. it's something i just can't accept anymore. i want to add too that in a sociological sense i don't think any of these people were involved in an overall very honorable cause. viet kieu really don't tend to be. but today i'm just writing about their kindness to me. i think about those nice uncles, i think about people like L's dad who seem so wrong cuz they just seem so gentle. god i am so envious of that gentleness. i don't know i slept like 3 hours last night so obviously i'm really sentimental

I can however argue that 2gether would not have been successful if it wasn't for the fact that Bright and Win are gorgeous + the other side actors are very invested and active. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the show and very excited to get some more content for it. Though, the production was sloppy and the show had its flaws, it felt rushed and unfinished but it pulled through thanks to the characters and the fact that they managed to get some dynamic and pretty faces.

hiii anon!!! mmmmm yes. i mean, yes brightwin are v good looking, but also lets not forget here how win was practically forced to lose 10kg in 2 months to fit tine's character description. so yes, looks did play a part. but in terms of this toxic ""aestheticism"" culture we have (for the lack of a better word), in all shows now, looks of characters Do play a part in the whole appeal and selling of a show and a character, whether we like to admit it or not. bc we associate looks of characters very heavily with the character themselves. whether thats their hair colour, tattoo use, outfits, accessories and jewelry, makeup and styling, facial hair, weight and height etc, amongst so many other things.

but i think the timing of 2gether coming out was its biggest bonus/asset, along with how it skyrocketed on social media, again, bc of the time it got released, which meant international access to it was made v v v open and easy and simple. it could be marketed v v v easily to a global audience by social media bc there was no other way to market the show humanly due to lockdown. so it gained attraction at a much larger scale. thats ultimately why 2gether got popular on a global scale, if you're talking about solely viewership, international outreach and numbers.

talking about it from a storyline pov, as a drama, the story was just ... refreshing, in that, yeah, it was nothing new. it was simple. and it was light hearted and fun and a proper rom com. i think for me personally, it also just really neatly dispelled many toxic lgbt+ tropes too. it showed lgbt+ love in a completely normal, chilled out way, just how rom coms do. and the characters have their individualistic appeal to them. other things helped, like the music and the cinematography and the colours too - it was a warm colour palette show. it didnt take itself too seriously but still managed to show depth. yeah, every show has a couple of bad episodes, which show doesn't? but pining the whole show down on to just those 2 episodes and a goddamn cursed high-5 alone, and overlooking the rest of the entire show seems unjust tbh. like i keep saying, when the show was airing live, nobody was complaining then!

so yeah, whilst the success does partially lie with having a good looking, social media active cast, you sorta have to see why social media played such a HUGE role in 2gether's success, especially in the circumstances and time period that the show was airing. its the backbone of it. but i wouldnt say having a good looking cast = instantly successful show. the show had appeal to the masses bc of the things the show had in it, which weren't perfect 100% of the time, but being critical means looking at both the good and the bad, not just the bad only, before making a judgement on something. and most people i know take 2gether's bad with the good, and say they enjoyed the show! so its no surprise that still2gether is monopolising on the back of 2gether's success. people want more of these characters bc they love them and their storylines, the actors who play them show sincerity, love and respect to their characters and (lgbt+) audiences, p'aof as an lgbt+ writer, director and producer can authentically write stories for lgbt+ characters and audiences, and so ... why would an entertainment/production company not use that to their monetary advantage as well?

bc now, gmmtv's budget has skyrocketed, they'll invest even more money into still2gether, which is why people are saying that still2gether's budget has increased bc just by the trailer alone, ppl could immediately tell there's been a budget raise. so ya know, who knows, still2gether's (production) quality could be much much better and less sloppy than 2gether's was (which imho, wasnt even that bad tbh, aside from certain plot points during ep 12 and 13). so then, i wouldnt be surprised how much more still2gether will appeal to the audience, not just bc of the good looking actors, but bc of the whole show itself increasing in quality. and so of course countries like japan and taiwan and the philippines, and broadcasters like netflix, wetv etc have signed deals with gmmtv to broadcast 2gether as well as other gmmtv shows, i'm sure in the future too, in their countries/platforms, and big magazines like vogue and gq as well as domestic thai brands are jumping on brightwin's current success.

bc i can hand on heart say, that nobody, and i mean nobody, expected 2gether to ... well, reach the popularity it has. win was practically nobody before this. bright was literally on scraps getting side role after side role. i'd say apart from like frank, drake, gunsmile, guy, toptap and gun, maybe even mike too, the rest of the cast had unseasoned/not that well known actors (inc. khaotung, jj and pluem). and then, 2gether happened. so. yeah. a lot of factors come into play.