What is your thought on the S6 Tommy and Lizzie sex scene, would you consider it to be dispassionate and disconnected, they don't kiss. Does it scream end of a relationship that is long time coming?

I think it looks like grief-stricken lovemaking, and an attempt to connect between people who’ve been married for eight years and having sex for some fifteen years and who just had a daughter die, so possibly passionate sex is not on the cards for a while, and maybe hasn't been on the cards for a long time prior either. 

This sex scene also lands at a time where it's burdened with a massive amount of emotional issues delivered, not just Ruby's death, but Duke's reveal, and Tommy having just been given a terminal diagnosis. Perhaps Tommy feels like he's on some kind of countdown now to find a way to ‘fix’ this tangle of grief and disappointment between him and Lizzie, hence relocating their efforts to a hotel room to try to re-spark something more passionate. 

It seems Tommy always takes the role of sexual initiator with Lizzie: so, given this is not their first time having sex after Ruby's death, this is possibly also one of many attempts by Tommy trying to use sex to provide and receive physical comfort and intimacy. The relocation to the hotel room is trying to let them get through it without Ruby coming into the conversation. Lizzie's got plenty of reasons to be mad at him, and is definitely hurt, but she isn't shunning him or cutting him off from sex. They're both still reaching out for each other in the way they know has worked for them in the past, because I do think they use sex in particular to connect when words tend to trip them up badly.

They're very focused on each other’s faces in this scene, eyes open throughout, close and touching, a full length body press, so I think of how this sex scene is more about proximity and touch, which is intimate and connected.  The lack of kissing doesn't bother me one way or the other - I don’t really think of them kissing much, more touching /nuzzling. They don’t ever kiss in greeting the way some couples do, but they do embrace and usually touch/press faces. 

On whether a (tired, trying-to-connect) sex scene screams the end of a relationship a long time coming, I think they did a great job in S6 of playing the relationship dynamic as so very complex, you can never quite tell if a break up will or won’t be inevitable.  But that complexity, I find, is more in the dialogue and their other non-sexual physical touches, not this sex scene alone.  If there were a sliding scale as to ‘doomed relationship’ vs ‘fragile/imbalanced but ongoing relationship’, I’d put the sex scene on the ‘ongoing relationship’ side. I find it sweet and intimate and sad, and very middle-aged married couple, and they're both ok being a little bit pathetic with each other in favour of still making that effort to hold each other.

Character Name

The Innamorati (Lovers Class)

(The characters of Isabella, Lelio, Flavio and Vittoria are all part      of the Innamorati.  However since there are so many more      Commedia dell'arte characters that are part of this same class that are      not fully developed by Commedia dell'Carte, we gave them their own "catch      all" page to include research on this vital class of commedia characters      that may not be specific to the four characters listed above.  If you      are seeking general information on the Innamorati, but sure to      consult the web pages of the afore mentioned characters as well.)      

In Italian, the Lovers (of whom four-two would-be pairs - are      usually needed for a full scenario) are called innamorati.        The males have names such as Silvio, Fabrizio, Aurelio, Orazio, Ottavio,      Ortensio, Lelio, Leandro, Cinzio, Florindo, Lindoro, etc.;  the      females:  Isabella, Angelica, Eularia, Flaminia, Vittoria, Silvia, Lavinia, Ortensia, Aurelia, etc.  - Rudlin      

Whether their names are Flavio, Ottavio, Orazio, Silvio, Leandro or      Cinthio del Sole; Federigo, Lelio, Mario, or Fulvio - all reveal a fatal      trace of fatuity. - Duchartre

Status    

High, but brought low by the hopelessness of their infatuation.      -Rudlin

Costume

The latest fashion.  Males sometimes dressed as young soldiers      or cadets.  Wigs.  Actresses would show off their wardrobe in      the better companies by changing costume several times during the course      of the action. -Rudlin

They had no particular costume, but dressed in the latest fashion of      the period to which they belonged. - Duchartre      

Wore stunning silk dresses, often in antique Renaissance style with      necklaces of gold and pearls. - Gordon      

Gentry-class dress, nice looking, modest, cute.  Usually with a      heart motif  -Little

Origin (History) 

The aristocracy of the Italian Renaissance courts amused themselves      with a form they called commedia erudita based on the plays of      Terence and Plautus, for example Calandria by Cardinal Bibbiena      which, like Shakespeare's later Comedy of Errors, is based on      Plautus' Menaechmi.  As the professional improvised comedy      looked to extend its range it seemed to have borrowed the Lovers from the      amateur form.  - Rudlin

The most prominent Isabella, Isabella Andreini, belonged to the      troupe of Gelosi. - Laver

Physical Appearance

Had to be young, well set up, courteous, gallant even to the point      of affectation - in short, a blade and a dandy.  - Duchartre

Young and attractive – Rudlin      

The lovers and wooers of the Commedia dell'arte were always dapper      and engaging and just a trifle ridiculous. - Duchartre

Mask

No actual mask, but heavy make-up.  Mascara and beauty spots      for both sexes.  The make-up in fact becomes a mask enabling      performers to play the role well into middle age, or even beyond - Giovan      Battista Andreini, son of Francesco, played Lelio until he was 73.        Vizard or loup could be worn for disguise, usually made of black      velvet.  This was a normal accoutrement for society ladies when      walking to a rendezvous and could be half- or full-face.  But since      it has not expression it does not count as a mask in the Commedia sense,      although it does provide plenty of plot potential, enabling, for example,      Columbina to attend rendezvous in her mistress's place.  - Rudlin      

Occasionally wore a mask that just covered eyes or a loop mask. -      Laver

Signature Props  

 Handkerchief.  Posy.  Fan for women.    -Rudlin

Stance

They lack firm contact with the earth.  Feet invariably in      ballet positions, creating an inverted cone.  Chest and heart      heavy.  They are full of breath, but then take little pants on      top.  Sometimes when situations become too much for them, they      deflate totally.  – Rudlin

Always very proud.

Walk   

They do not walk as much as tweeter, due to the instability of      their base.  First the head leans the other way to the body      sway.  Then the arms have to be used, one above the other, as a      counterweight.  -Rudlin

Poses

Various depending on individual character.

  Movements

Actors would use the same dancing masters as the well-to-do whom      they were parodying in order to point up the ridiculousness of exaggerated      deportment.  Movement comes at the point of overbalance leading to a      sideways rush towards a new focus, with the arms left trailing      behind.  Stop at the new point (usually the beloved or some token      thereof) before (almost) touching it.  The Lovers have little or no      physical contact.  When there is any, the minimum has maximum      effect.  - Rudlin

Exaggerated movements of the hands, like feathers flapping in the      wind.  -Fletcher

Gestures

Often while holding a handkerchief or flower, etc. in the leading      hand.  The arms never make identical shapes.  Because of their      vanity, they frequently look in a hand mirror, only to become upset by any      minor imperfection which is discovered.  Even in extremis they are      always looking to see if a ribbon or a sequin is out of place.  A      button found on the floor or a blemish in the coiffure equals        disaster. - Rudlin

 Speech Language 

Tuscan, making great display of courtly words and      baroque metaphors.  Well read, knowing large extracts of poems by      heart (especially Petrarch).  They speak softly in musical sentences      - in contrast with the zanni.  Their sentences are often      flamboyant, hyperbolical, full of amorous rhetoric.  By the end of      the 17th Century in Paris, the Lovers spoke French.  -  Rudlin

Animal      

Various depending on individual character.

Relationships

They relate exclusively to themselves - they are in love with      themselves being in love.  The last person they actually relate to in      the course of the action is often the beloved.  When they do meet      they have great difficulty in communicating with each other (usually      because of the nerves).  And they relate to their servants only in      terms of pleading for help.  The Lovers love each other, yet are more      preoccupied with being seen as lovers, undergoing all the hardships of      being in such a plight, than with actual fulfilment.  Consequently      they frequently scorn each other and feign mild hatred; they rebut,      despair, reconcile, but eventually end up marrying in the way of true love      when the game is up and they know they cannot play any more.  After a      quarrel the male may try a serenade to win back favour.  This will be      (dis)organized by Zanni:  he employs musicians who are drunk or      spends the money on something else and has tu use tramps off the      street.  The result is total chaos, but in the end the serenade is      beautifully played and sung because everyone miraculously turns out to be      good at their job after all.  - Rudlin

Relationship to Audience

Extremely aware of being watched. Play with the audience for      sympathy in their plight. Occasionally flirts with spectators.    -Rudlin

Frequent Plot Function

Indispensable.  Without them and their inability to resolve      their own problems, there would be no function for the zanni, no      struggle between the ineffectuality of youth and the implacability of      age.  The lovers are never alone on stage - they always have someone      with them or spying on them. - Ruldin

Their function was to depict a state of mind rather than to paint a      personality.  - Duchartre

Characteristics        

Thought their protestations would melt a heart of stone, there      always seems to be a comic side to everything they say.  One wonders      if the explanation does not lie in the fact that love often robs the lover      of all sense of his or her own absurdity, even though he or she may be the      most rational of living men or women under ordinary      circumstances.

Whatever the names of the lovers in the commedia dell'arte, they had      no other trait as 'characters' than that of being in love. - Duchartre      

Three, like primary  colors:  fidelity, jealously and      fickleness.  They are vain, petuluant, spoilt, full of doubt and have      very little patience.  They have a masochistic enjoyment of enforced      seperation because it enables them to dramatize their situation, lament,      moan, send messages, etc.  When the Lovers do meet they are almost      always tongue-tied and need interpreters (i.e. a zanni and/or a servetta)      who proceed to misinterpret their statements, either through stupidity      (Zanni), malicious desire for revenge (Brighella) or calculated      self-interest (Columbina).  Their attention span is short like young      children’s.  The fear that they might be nobodies keeps them      hyper-animated.  Their element is water:  they are very wet      creatures indeed.  The females are more passion-wrought and energetic      than their male counterparts.      

The lovers exist very much in their own world- and in their own      world within that world.  Self-obsessed and very selfish, they are      more interested in what they are saying themselves and how it sounds than      in what the beloved is saying.  They are primarily in love with      themselves, secondarily in love with love, and only consequentially in      love with the beloved.  What they learn, if anything, from the      tribulations of the scenario is the need to reverse these priorities.      

They do, however, come off better than most other Commedia      characters:  there is no viciousness in them, and less to be      reproached for – except vanity and vapidness, which, given their parents,      they can hardly be blamed for.  They represent the human portential      for happiness.  – Rudlin      

The lover had to play with dash and be able to simulate the most      exaggerated passion.  - Duchartre      

“If then true lovers have ever been crossed It stands as an edict in destiny. Then let us teach our trial patience,       Because it is a customary cross, As due to love as thoughts, and dreams, and sighs, Wishes, and tears – poor fancy’s followers.”

Shakespeare

Respark The Romance Review

Respark The Romance Review

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    A product for men and women, respectively, which aims to reignite the eagerness at intervals a relationship that fell stagnant and uninspired.     Totally different programs “for men” and “for women” designed to house the unique relationship issues from every gender’s perspective, separately.     Beautifully designed eBook covers.     That’s extremely regarding it. Cons     A program that claims to be based mostly on solid and proven science but doesn’t reference any scientific and authoritative sources. The program will cite its sources, but they're mostly different relationships e-books and not scientific journals.     The latter parts of the program don’t flow cohesively and topics are in all places.     The author’s identity and claimed credentials are a small amount shady and proved to be not possible to verify.     Seemingly separate programs (i.e. there’s a “for men” and a “for girls” version) however are, at the very core, essentially the same. They may have different covers, but they are basically the same product with gender indicators and perspectives adjusted accordingly.     Terribly wordy program. Expect to go through a torrent of words without any visual breaks or images.     Inefficient or non-existent client support. We tend to tested multiple channels to contact them however didn’t get a response in any of our inquiries. attend the official site Higher Products for Your Thought:     The Magic of Making Up     Text Your Ex Back How to Respark the Romance Vital Information How to Respark the Romance Product PackageHow to Respark the Romance may be a relationship development program for men and women (specifically, “for men” and “for women” editions are out there separately) which introduces the thought of the “Emotional Turbulence Formula” – a mix of methods designed to stimulate your partner’s pleasure hormones and “brain chemicals” that enable your partner to expertise positive feelings towards you. Additional specifically, the program believes that feelings of affection and need live inside an individual’s “brain chemicals” like Dopamine, Serotonin, and Oxytocin; and that the key to encouraging romance from your partner lies in performing certain precise behaviors that elicit positive responses from those aforementioned “brain chemicals.” How to Respark the Romance and also the “Emotional Turbulence Formula” are created and designed by Brian Robbens (to not be mistaken for the film and TV director/producer, Brian Robbins). Brian claims to be a professional relationship and romance counselor along with an Amazon best-selling author. However, it’s quite not possible to verify those claims; especially the Amazon best-selling author part, that ought to be easy to confirm. On top of that, it’s hard to search out proof of Brian’s identity. Using pen names is a standard and acceptable observe, but there's invariably a public figure behind the name; not the case with Brian Robbens. 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The program then goes on to detail the 5 “steps” (well, not really “steps” since every item doesn’t build upon the previous one; nor do they present any explicit procedural order) that comprise the “Emotional Turbulence Formula.” The formula lists 5 techniques that, you guessed it, you ought to do to trigger your partner’s pleasure hormones and improve your relationship. You then get to proceed to second part of the program which lists a ton of topics (albeit random with no cohesion or unifying thought between every topic) concerning the psychology of romance. Topics like “developing and having a romantic mindset”, “ebbs and flows of everlasting love”, “recipe for love”, “inventive solutions for stale romance”, and “romance for folks in their 40’s and beyond” are discussed, among some others. They merely function tidbits of information (i.e. short relationship articles) that you may apply to your relationship if the case mentioned fits yours. attend the official website Packages and Pricing $forty seven, For Men Package     “How to Respark the Romance: For Men” eBook.     “Quick Begin Sexual Black Book” eReport.     “The 10 Steps to Sex Appeal Checklist” eList.     “The five-Step Sexual Awakening Guide to Her Natural Sweet Spot” eManual. $forty seven, For Girls Package     “How to Respark the Romance: For Ladies” eBook.     “Quick Start Romantic Black Book” eReport.     “Unleash His Hidden Passion Secret Notebook” eManual.     “Advanced Enchantment Report” eGuide. 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Mysteriousness could be a trait that's normally thought of attractive in the dating and relationship scenes; however not the case when it involves determining the credibility of a product. How to Respark the Romance is formed by a mysterious author – Brian Robbens. That is, a lot of mystery revolves around his identity and his alleged credentials. For somebody who claims to be successful (i.e Amazon best-selling author), it shouldn’t be this hard to seek out traces of these achievements. A shady author background negatively affects the credibility of this whole program and exposes you, the potential buyer, to unnecessary risks. On top of that, there doesn’t seem to be any client support (at least primarily based on our tests) to help with any problems that you may encounter. What this means for you is once you've got completed payment, you are on your own. If you encounter a drawback with the download, you’ll have to work out the solution yourself. If you have any questions about the program, don’t expect any facilitate. This unfortunate state of affairs is simply a risk that you just don’t have to take. Of course, all may have been forgiven if the program itself is phenomenal. However, this is often simply not the case. The program correct itself isn't compelling enough for thought. It very feels sort of a mishmash of various relationship articles and random romantic anecdotes. You'll get some useful tips and tidbits here and there, but the merchandise and proposed ways don't seem to be convincing overall. In the tip, there are a lot of similar products out there which tackle the identical problems, can give a a lot of compelling giving, and not expose you to unnecessary risks and red flags. You are better off considering those products rather than this one. Our Final Suggestion: Absolutely Don’t Obtain How to Respark the Romance     Simply got it and it reads ok. I cannot inquire into how the methodology works but will provide it a go - it all is sensible. As for the support, cannot agree with the criticism. I had a problem with the initial download however submitted a ticket through the Meet My Sweet Members Area and received a operating download at intervals a few hours.     Thank you very a lot of Renata for taking the time to put in writing about your experience with this product. Your comment would positively help our readers make a more informed decision regarding this program. We tend to do our greatest to create our reviews as correct as attainable, however more perspectives are forever preferable. We want you the simplest.

Respark The Romance Review

Respark The Romance Review

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2YFEA7N5_Q

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    A product for men and ladies, respectively, which aims to reignite the passion within a relationship that fell stagnant and uninspired.     Completely different programs “for men” and “for girls” designed to accommodate the unique relationship problems from every gender’s perspective, separately.     Beautifully designed eBook covers.     That’s extremely concerning it. Cons     A program that claims to be primarily based on solid and proven science however doesn’t reference any scientific and authoritative sources. The program will cite its sources, however they are principally other relationships e-books and not scientific journals.     The latter elements of the program don’t flow cohesively and topics are in all places.     The author’s identity and claimed credentials are a bit shady and proved to be not possible to verify.     Seemingly separate programs (i.e. there’s a “for men” and a “for women” version) however are, at the very core, basically the identical. They could have totally different covers, however they are basically the same product with gender indicators and perspectives adjusted accordingly.     Very wordy program. Expect to travel through a torrent of words while not any visual breaks or images.     Inefficient or non-existent customer support. We have a tendency to tested multiple channels to contact them however didn’t get a response in any of our inquiries. go to the official web site Better Merchandise for Your Thought:     The Magic of Making Up     Text Your Ex Back How to Respark the Romance Vital Info How to Respark the Romance Product PackageHow to Respark the Romance could be a relationship development program for men and women (specifically, “for men” and “for women” editions are obtainable separately) that introduces the thought of the “Emotional Turbulence Formula” – a mixture of methods designed to stimulate your partner’s pleasure hormones and “brain chemicals” that permit your partner to experience positive feelings towards you. A lot of specifically, the program believes that feelings of affection and desire live within a person’s “brain chemicals” like Dopamine, Serotonin, and Oxytocin; and that the key to encouraging romance from your partner lies in performing sure precise behaviors that elicit positive responses from those aforementioned “brain chemicals.” How to Respark the Romance and also the “Emotional Turbulence Formula” are created and designed by Brian Robbens (to not be mistaken for the film and TV director/producer, Brian Robbins). Brian claims to be a professional relationship and romance counselor as well as an Amazon best-selling author. However, it’s quite impossible to verify those claims; particularly the Amazon best-selling author half, that ought to be easy to confirm. On prime of that, it’s exhausting to seek out proof of Brian’s identity. Using pen names may be a normal and acceptable apply, but there is invariably a public figure behind the name; not the case with Brian Robbens. These question marks forged a cloud of doubt over the author and, by extension, the program itself. Click here for How to Respark the Romance instant access How to Respark the Romance Insider Look Moving on to the program proper, everything starts off with a foreword from Brian; and then proceeds directly to the first part of program which covers the “Emotional Turbulence Formula.” The “Emotional Turbulence Formula” initially gives you a crash course by showing you five “Big Huge Mistakes” (yes, we have a tendency to recognized the redundancy of the phrase) that the majority individuals often commit that ends up in negative effects on their relationships. Needless to say, the goal is to recognize and stop doing these mistakes. 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They simply serve as tidbits of knowledge (i.e. short relationship articles) that you will apply to your relationship if true discussed fits yours. go to the official site Packages and Pricing $forty seven, For Men Package     “How to Respark the Romance: For Men” eBook.     “Quick Begin Sexual Black Book” eReport.     “The 10 Steps to Sex Appeal Checklist” eList.     “The five-Step Sexual Awakening Guide to Her Natural Sweet Spot” eManual. $47, For Women Package     “How to Respark the Romance: For Ladies” eBook.     “Quick Begin Romantic Black Book” eReport.     “Unleash His Hidden Passion Secret Notebook” eManual.     “Advanced Enchantment Report” eGuide. Go here for How to Respark the Romance coupons and discounts How to Respark the Romance Banner Logo Our How to Respark the Romance Conclusion Higher Merchandise for Your Consideration:     The Magic of Making Up     Text Your Ex Back How to Respark the Romance may be a relationship development program that actually has sensible intentions. It’s meant to rekindle the passion among couples who’ve lost that fireplace in their relationship – a abundant-needed solution to a terribly common relationship situation in nowadays’s times. However, the execution of the program and also the efficacy of the strategy failed to realize that noble intent. Combine that with some red flags surrounding the author in addition because the support and you’ve got a product that doesn’t deserve anything beyond a 1 out of 5 stars rating. Mysteriousness may be a trait that is normally thought-about engaging in the dating and relationship scenes; but not the case when it comes to determining the credibility of a product. How to Respark the Romance is formed by a mysterious author – Brian Robbens. That's, a lot of mystery revolves around his identity and his alleged credentials. For someone who claims to achieve success (i.e Amazon best-selling author), it shouldn’t be this hard to seek out traces of these achievements. A shady author background negatively affects the credibility of this whole program and exposes you, the potential buyer, to unnecessary risks. On high of that, there doesn’t appear to be any client support (at least based on our tests) to assist with any problems that you will encounter. What this suggests for you is once you have got completed payment, you're on your own. If you encounter a drawback with the download, you’ll have to figure out the answer yourself. If you've got any questions regarding the program, don’t expect any facilitate. This unfortunate scenario is merely a risk that you just don’t have to require. Of course, all could have been forgiven if the program itself is phenomenal. However, this is merely not the case. The program correct itself is not compelling enough for consideration. It really feels like a mishmash of various relationship articles and random romantic anecdotes. You may get a few useful tips and tidbits here and there, but the product and proposed strategies aren't convincing overall. In the end, there are many similar products out there which tackle the identical issues, can offer a a lot of compelling providing, and not expose you to unnecessary risks and red flags. You are higher off considering those products instead of this one. Our Final Suggestion: Absolutely Don’t Get How to Respark the Romance     Just got it and it reads ok. 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What I find so essential, celebratory and let’s-throw-a-parade-gay about him is his ability to love whatever is aesthetically pleasurable that he comes across. Take a look at his poem, “Today,” included, along with the other poems in this essay, in the 2008 collection Selected Poems: Oh! Kangaroos, sequins, chocolate sodas! You really are beautiful! Pearls, Harmonicas, jujubes, aspirins! All The stuff they’ve always talked about Still makes a poem a surprise! These things are with us every day Even on beachheads and biers. They Do have meaning. They’re strong as rocks His work is filled with unexpected tastes and nearly absent of any sort of hierarchy. Kangaroos? Lovely. Long terrible b-films? Satisfying. Rachmaninoff? Sublime. Drinking coke with a cute guy? The best. O’Hara presides over a democracy of affection. And have you ever seen so many exclamation points from a grown man? It’s like listening to a kindergarten teacher! He’s just so enthusiastic that he can’t help but cram the poem with one jubilant thing after another. This is ecstasy, like the build up to an orgasm frothed into mania. But the sequins, sodas, and jujubes are also solid—“They’re strong as rocks.” These are foundations for our lives. Critics have called this aspect of O’Hara’s sensibility camp, hit the print button, and called it a day. But that’s not quite what’s at work here. When I think of camp within the gay community—say, reenacting scenes from Mommy Dearest or a certain love of Cher riding a Navy cannon in black fishnets and a sneer—there’s an element of performance in the opinion: it feels like a socially learned behavior rather than an incidental personal taste. If you look at Halperin’s How to be Gay, it’s clear that some scholars believe that mainstream entertainments, for example—the book cites Mildred Pierce—are passed among members of the gay community as primers, or instructive texts on how to behave (and in Halperin’s class at University of Michigan, they are). It’s not so much innate that we love Mildred Pierce as something we learn, which is to say it may be separate from what we actually like. Camp also gives us a protective barrier of irony from our pleasure in lowbrow likes. The irony distances us, and says “Hey, I know this is terrible. But it’s also fun!” O’Hara collapses that ironic distance and it’s all sincerity. He’s so sincere, that as much as I admire him (and I really admire him!), I’d feel embarrassed to have written some of his poems. Not because it’s shameful, but because it’s just too, *too* much. But he means it. And this is where camp becomes a problem. Camp, at its heart, is about taste. And taste, as we know, is a sort of fingerprint of thought—and of attraction. Critics evaluating O’Hara, as Marjorie Perloff pointed out in her excellent study Frank O’Hara: Poet Among Painters, labeled his work as “late Victorian camp” or “streamers of crepe paper fluttering before an electric fan” or “mental chatter and drift.” Invariably, these feel like codes to the knowing reader, that his work was just plain *gay*. Camp is often a derogatory term. We like it, but we feel like we shouldn’t. Just as the foodie loathes his enjoyment of Chicken McNuggets, we can’t just say we like something, but rather we can have the barrier of camp to say, “I love this and I know it’s awful.” There’s shame in the attraction, just as when we were young gaylings the world around us often reinforced that our feelings are shameful. O’Hara’s poems are an antidote to this feeling of shame over the tastes we find natural and immovable. James Schuyler, perhaps the most sublime poet of the small thing made infinite, in one of his many catty, bright, loving letters to his dear friend O’Hara put it best: Your passion always makes me feel like a cloud the wind detaches (at last) from a mountain so I can finally go sailing over all those valleys with their crazy farms and towns. I always start bouncing up and down in my chair when I read a poem of yours like “Radio,” where you seem to say, “I know you won’t think this is much of a subject for a poem but I just can’t help it: I feel like this,” so that in the end you seem to be the only one who knows what the subject of a poem is. The pleasures of a poem like “Radio,” good enough to make Schuyler ride his chair, come primarily from our empathy with O’Hara since we all know how awful it is to want some small satisfaction after a week of drudgery—the radio plays nothing but rubbish when all we want to hear is something great—and the comic distance between O’Hara’s invocation of the grand emotions and subjects of poetry (longing for “immortal energy” when one is “mortally tired”) when, in fact, it’s a fifteen line poem where Frank is bitching at his radio for playing such crap. But these small things are everything. It’s true that we feel just as strongly, however irrational it may be, about the minute pleasures of our lives as we do about the supposedly great things. Our emotional responses don’t always differentiate between the two even if our minds tell us that we should. One look at a Black Friday stampede at Target shows us this, and O’Hara says as much in “Today.” What I think I learn from his poetry—if anything as auspicious as learning happens from contact with verse—is how to like. What we prefer, what we enjoy, and what we desire are as singular as a fingerprint and in O’Hara’s work having a coke with the man he loves is as sublime as a masterpiece by Leonardo or Michaelangelo. I don’t think there’s a love poem that means more to me—and notice here that I don’t make any claims as to whether or not it’s the love poem that should mean the most to you—than O’Hara’s love poem for Vincent Warren “Having a Coke With You.” The pleasure he takes in sharing a soda with Warren is arbitrary, intuitive, and surprising: HAVING A COKE WITH YOU is even more fun that going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne or being sick to my stomach on the Traversera de Gracia in Barcelona partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary Of course it’s going to be better than being sick to his stomach in Barcelona, but what has love of yogurt or orange tulips go to do with it? (Sure, they match the color of Warren’s charming shirt, but they are a part of the landscape and not even something the object of O’Hara’s love is responsible for). It’d be like telling my boyfriend that I fell in love with him because of the mural at the bar we met at. But, come to think of it, why not? And look how long the lines get, as though the form of the poem itself can barely contain what Frank is feeling, and there’s so much he’d like to say that it strains to be held between the two edges of the page. Eventually, this conversational, upfront tone isn’t enough and he reaches for an actual metaphor, something surreal. O’Hara needs a new sort of language, something absent in his everyday experience, to capture what happens between his body and Vincent’s: it is hard to believe when I’m with you that there can be anything as still as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it in the warm New York 4 o’clock light we are drifting back and forth between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles. [...] ...these are poems of immediacy, poems of taking the world as it exists, in that moment. It feels like the past and future falls away and all that remains is now. When O’Hara thinks he’s wrong, he corrects himself: “I am ill today but I am not / too ill. I am not ill at all.” He’s agile, and like a jazz musician he’s not so much playing the music as playing the changes. In “My Heart,” he declares, “I want to be / at least as alive as the vulgar.” What I love about O’Hara is the way that he is camp, because it’s not too camp. It is not camp at all. What his poems declare, to quote his friend Schuyler, is “I just can’t help it, I feel like this.” Certainly other poets have expressed this democracy of taste, this unbridled attraction before him—particularly Whitman, in his own nineteenth-century queer way. As O’Hara once commented to his roommate and sometimes lover, Joe Lesueur, homosexuality wasn’t just about sex, it was about his love of the freedoms that went with it... Our lives won’t be all kangaroos and blond ballet dancers. And difference can be painful, it can be felt like a disfigurement, and it’s easy to envy, at times, the ease of life for people in the majority. As O’Hara laments “you were made in the image of god / I was not / I was made in the image of a sissy truck-driver.” But there’s joy in loving what you love, a purity in expressing it exactly in its unchecked, effusive and messy truth, and O’Hara felt no shame in putting that feeling out there with an exclamation!

“Frank O’Hara’s Lessons for Being Gay”

Character Name

Lelio (DiCraprio)

Status

Lover, usually the son of either Pantalone or Dottre.

High in stature, but usually brought low by the hopelessness of      their infatuation.  - Rudlin      

Member of Innamorati – Rudlin

Costume

The latest fashion.  Males sometimes dressed as young soldiers      or cadets. -Rudlin

Flowing and somewhat over fashionable in a color scheme that is very      feminine with a great deal of panache.  – Tim Shane      

Gentry-class dress, nice looking, modest, cute.  Usually with a      heart motif  -Little

Origin (History)

The aristocracy of the Italian Renaissance courts amused themselves      with a form they called commedia erudita based on the plays of      Terence and Plautus, for example Calandria by Cardinal Bibbiena      which, like Shakespeare's later Comedy of Errors, is based on      Plautus' Menaechmi.  As the professional improvised comedy      looked to extend its range it seemed to have borrowed the Lovers from the      amateur form.  - Rudlin

Physical Appearance

Had to be young, well set up, courteous, gallant even to the point      of affectation - in short, a blade and a dandy.  - Duchartre

Young and attractive – Rudlin      

The lovers and wooers of the Commedia dell'arte were always dapper      and engaging and just a trifle ridiculous. - Duchartre

Mask

No actual mask, but heavy make-up.  Mascara and beauty spots      for both sexes.  The make-up in fact becomes a mask enabling      performers to play the role well into middle age, or even beyond - Giovan      Battista Andreini, son of Francesco, played Lelio until he was 73.        Vizard or loup could be worn for disguise, usually made of black      velvet.  This was a normal accoutrement for society ladies when      walking to a rendezvous and could be half- or full-face.  But since      it has not expression it does not count as a mask in the Commedia sense,      although it does provide plenty of plot potential, enabling, for example,      Columbina to attend rendezvous in her mistress's place.  - Rudlin      

Occasionally wore a mask that just covered eyes or a loop mask. -      Laver

Signature Props

Handkerchief. -Rudlin

Stance

They lack firm contact with the earth.  Feet invariably in      ballet positions, creating an inverted cone.  Chest and heart      heavy.  They are full of breath, but then take little pants on      top.  Sometimes when situations become too much for them, they      deflate totally.  – Rudlin

Legs tightly together, usually with only one foot firmly planted on      the ground, and the other crawling upward like he has to urinate      badly.  The groin is usually inward and protected with the upper      torso bent over it. – Tim Shane

Walk

They do not walk as much as tweeter, due to the instability of      their base.  First the head leans the other way to the body      sway.  Then the arms have to be used, one above the other, as a      counterweight.  -Rudlin

Light, fluttering on tip toes, arms extended with wrists loose      allowing the hands to flap like wings.- Tim Shane

Poses

1.) On toes in various ballet positions with wrists bent down.

2.) Anything that might look Vogue.

3.) Whenever      sitting, legs crossed in a feminine  manner.  Head always sits      very delicately on the frame of the body.

4.) Never stand up      right, always with a hip cocked out to expresses “attitude”.

5.) Mimic poses of female lovers

6.) Back of hand      against forehead, other arm outstretched.

Movements

Actors would use the same dancing masters as the well-to-do whom      they were parodying in order to point up the ridiculousness of exaggerated      deportment.  Movement comes at the point of overbalance leading to a      sideways rush towards a new focus, with the arms left trailing      behind.  Stop at the new point (usually the beloved or some token      thereof) before (almost) touching it.  The Lovers have little or no      physical contact.  When there is any, the minimum has maximum      effect.  - Rudlin

Light and fluttery. – Tim Shane

Gestures

Foppish- Tim Shane

Often while holding a handkerchief or flower, etc. in the leading      hand.  The arms never make identical shapes.  Because of their      vanity, they frequently look in a hand mirror, only to become upset by any      minor imperfection which is discovered.  Even in extremis they are      always looking to see if a ribbon or a sequin is out of place.  A      button found on the floor or a blemish in the coiffure equals        disaster. - Rudlin

Speech

Language:  Tuscan, making great display of courtly words and      baroque metaphors.  Well read, knowing large extracts of poems by      heart (especially Petrarch).  They speak softly in musical sentences      - in contrast with the zanni.  Their sentences are often      flamboyant, hyperbolical, full of amorous rhetoric.  By the end of  the 17th Century in Paris, the Lovers spoke French.  - Rudlin

Light and every sentence is like a sigh, adding occassional sighs in      between words and speaking in crescendos and decrescendos.  –      Shane

Animal

Butterfly.

Relationships

When it comes to women, his words are the only thing that shows      that he might have any interest.  His body language, actions, tone,      all contradict any infatuation he may have with a female.  The only      reason why he would express an interest in a female is because he loves      the idea of love.  However he seems genuinely more in love with      himself and other male characters before he is in love with a woman.        – Shane

They [the lovers] relate exclusively to themselves - they are in      love with themselves being in love.  The last person they actually      relate to in the course of the action is often the beloved.  When      they do meet they have great difficulty in communicating with each other      (usually because of the nerves).  And they relate to their servants      only in terms of pleading for help.  The Lovers love each other, yet      are more preoccupied with being seen as lovers, undergoing all the      hardships of being in such a plight, than with actual fulfilment.        Consequently they frequently scorn each other and feign mild hatred; they      rebut, despair, reconcile, but eventually end up marrying in the way of      true love when the game is up and they know they cannot play any      more.  After a quarrel the male may try a serenade to win back      favour.  This will be (dis)organized by Zanni:  he employs      musicians who are drunk or spends the money on something else and has tu      use tramps off the street.  The result is total chaos, but in the end      the serenade is beautifully played and sung because everyone miraculously      turns out to be good at their job after all.  - Rudlin

Relationship to Audience

Extremely aware of being watched. Play with the audience for      sympathy in their plight. Occasionally flirts with spectators.    -Rudlin

Frequent Plot Function

Indispensable.  Without them and their inability to resolve      their own problems, there would be no function for the zanni, no      struggle between the ineffectuality of youth and the implacability of      age.  The lovers are never alone on stage - they always have someone      with them or spying on them. - Ruldin

Their function was to depict a state of mind rather than to paint a      personality.  - Duchartre

Characteristics

Whatever the names of the lovers in the commedia dell'arte, they      had no other trait as 'characters' than that of being in love. -      Duchartre

Three, like primary  colors:  fidelity, jealously and      fickleness.  They are vain, petuluant, spoilt, full of doubt and have      very little patience.  They have a masochistic enjoyment of enforced      seperation because it enables them to dramatize their situation, lament,      moan, send messages, etc.  When the Lovers do meet they are almost      always tongue-tied and need interpreters (i.e. a zanni and/or a servetta)      who proceed to misinterpret their statements, either through stupidity      (Zanni), malicious desire for revenge (Brighella) or calculated      self-interest (Columbina).  Their attention span is short like young      children’s.  The fear that they might be nobodies keeps them      hyper-animated.  Their element is water:  they are very wet      creatures indeed.  The females are more passion-wrought and energetic      than their male counterparts.      

The lovers exist very much in their own world- and in their own      world within that world.  Self-obsessed and very selfish, they are      more interested in what they are saying themselves and how it sounds than      in what the beloved is saying.  They are primarily in love with      themselves, secondarily in love with love, and only consequentially in      love with the beloved.  What they learn, if anything, from the      tribulations of the scenario is the need to reverse these priorities.      

They do, however, come off better than most other Commedia      characters:  there is no viciousness in them, and less to be      reproached for – except vanity and vapidness, which, given their parents,      they can hardly be blamed for.  They represent the human portential      for happiness.  – Rudlin      

The lover had to play with dash and be able to simulate the most      exaggerated passion.  - Duchartre      

“If then true lovers have ever been crossed It stands as      an edict in destiny. Then let us teach our trial patience,       Because it is a customary cross, As due to love as      thoughts, and dreams, and sighs, Wishes, and tears – poor  fancy’s followers.” 

Shakespeare

Lazzi

1.) Very afraid of women, and fears them as if they are monsters      that want to rip him apart.

2.) Hypochondriac, feigning illness whenever possible.

3.) Very sensitive and is reduced to tears with the slightest stimulus or agitation.

4.) Likes to get lost in his thoughts and drop off into long soliloquies of rhyming poetry until silenced or knocked unconscious.

5.) Anything gay (as in happy).

6.) Talks with his handkerchief, occasionally making a      scene out of picking it back up again.

7.)  Being deafly afraid of women’s cleavage.

8.)  Accepting a compliment      and then adding to it and polishing it himself.