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#otp: wedded russians
simonxriley · 2 years
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now that i’m changing how many kids Tachanka and Skylar have, it makes their biological kids more of a miracle. they were in the middle of adopting Grace when she finds out she is pregnant with the twins, which was a complete shock bc they weren’t planning on having kids yet (they knew about her fertility issues) but they were all ecstatic. it was after the twins when she wanted another child was when things became rough. and they end up adopting Grayson. Skylar is pretty content with her life, she has (4) healthy and amazing kids that she loves more than anything in the world. then she ends up getting pregnant with Lubov (Lulu) and they’re both shocked and very happy of course. for Skylar, Lulu was a complete miracle!
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octuscle · 5 months
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looooong loooooong time ago you gave away some magic suitcases. I'm looking for a timeout as a badboy maybe with a racial change cause my life is so straight: graduation last summer, wedding this summer and so on. I want an adventure!
Yes, I still have a suitcase from OTP. I couldn't assign it to anyone. The case was closed a long time ago… If I give you the suitcase, no one will notice.
There's not much in the case. A uniform. A few sports clothes. Protein powder. Energy drinks. All very neatly packed. Looks militarily neat. And even though the suitcase is from Romania, everything is obviously from Russia. At least that's what the flags and coats of arms on the uniform and the Cyrillic characters suggest… Actually, you would have expected something like this in a sports bag or an army backpack rather than a boring Samsonite suitcase. You can't really do anything with these things. But you wanted to go to the gym today anyway. Whatever's in the energy drink, you give it a try.
Shit, that's strong stuff. But you have the feeling that you could tear out trees. You go to the treadmill to warm up. You set the speed to 20 km/h. You wouldn't last a marathon at that speed. But 30 minutes is no problem. You're drenched in sweat. But now you're just getting started. You stand at the punching bag and punch and kick at it as if you've been practising Thai boxing since you were a child. And you have. Just like taekwondo and judo. You are a machine. A killer. Not just in the figurative sense. That's why you were dishonorably discharged from the army. The Serbian one, by the way. Not the Russian one. I admit, as an American you can confuse the flags and the language. Prokleti Amerikanci. Imperijalistički seronje! You spit at the thought of being mistaken for an American. Srbija Srbima. That's not just for decoration on your chest. It's your motto. And that of your comrades. Of course you would have liked to remain a proud member of the Serbian army. But in the end, you're better off with Srpska čast. They embody everything you stand for. Glory and honor for the Serbian people!
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Of course you have to get married next summer. Bring good Serbian fighters into the world. But actually, women's asses are too soft for you. You'd rather fuck the asses of real men, well-trained fighters. Just like you are.
I found this awesome picture @zakucavanje. I would like to emphasize that I do not approve of paramilitary and separatist organizations. But I imagine their members to be similar. And the idea makes at least me horny.
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leagueofdccm · 13 hours
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Michelle and Soldier Boy for ship memeee 💕
ULTIMATE SHIP MEME! || @twiicetheheart
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General:
Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? - Fucking. Forever.
How quickly did/will they fall in love? - I don't wanna say too quick, and i don't wanna say it took forever for them also. least for soldier boy, the second something happens to her that involves dealing with homelander. whether she was hurt-- or just feelings hurt, i think seeing the look on her face--- broken and all, that's when he realizes... that he hates seeing her sad, hurt--- and that's when it hits him that he loves her.
How was their first kiss? - oh my god. you know michi and i haven't talked about that, but i do have an idea of when they first kiss. def think it's when he tells her about his past-- like his real past, and also telling Michelle about his time with the russians-- maybe not entirely, because lbr he's still trying to block our most of his trauma and also probably can't recall what ELSE they done to him. -- but i imagine when he finally gives his name to Michelle, not his supe name. his real name. like letting her in--- fully. which he hasn't done in a long time. and also i think Soldier boy would be the one to make the move first, it would have been soft. despite who he is, cause he's not a soft man-- but with Michelle ? he's definitely got a soft spot for her. It would have been sweet and slow, filled with so much emotion, want & just vulnerable.
Wedding:
Who proposed? - lbr soldier boy would. he's old school. man bs.
Who is the best man/men? - .... nobody. LMAO WHAT FRIENDS ? xD
Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - damn idk. starlight maybe xD though she's gonna be like Michelle--- him ? LMAO idk guess we gotta see what bg characters are Michelle's friends.
Who did the most planning? - Michelle would. but why do I feel like she would try to still have him involved in SOME STUFF.
Who stressed the most? - Michelle. She's planning it after all.
How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? -
Sex:
Who is on top? - soldier boy is top dog-- but that doesn't mean he won't switch to let Michelle *cough cough* ride him.
Who is the one to instigate things? - soldier boy ! LMAO C'MON how can he not ? she's a babe.
How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head
How long do they normally last? - listen soldier boy is a supe, he's never out of energy he's always up for it, and also women can last so ayyye ! these two can go hand in hand-- unless Michelle gotta be somewhere and THEN a quickie is in the works.
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - yes, soldier boy definitely is a man when it comes to wanting his women to cum. so yes, he will make sure she reaches climax before him ( which also means he cares about her, putting her needs before his )
How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. // SO i think they can be both. cause it's SB and he def would have soft moments with Michelle, but also he's a dirty talker when needed.
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.
Children:
How many children will they have naturally? - maybe two. soldier boy did say he wanted to be a dad after all.
How many children will they adopt? - none sorry kiddos.
Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Michelle but don't think she doesn't have soldier boy help-- she makes his ass.
Who is the stricter parent? - soldier boy ? in some parts, and Michelle in other parts. so equal-- but Michelle still would be softer.
Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Michelle LMAO
Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - also Michelle
Who is the more loved parent? - i think they are both loved. but the kids would def be clinging to Michelle more.
Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Michelle. can you imagine soldier boy ? god no.
Who cried the most at graduation? - Michelle. soldier boy @ himself was like : don't you dare cry pussy. don't do it-- fuck I'm crying shit.
Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - soldier boy lbr. he's like i got you kid, i got you don't tell your mother.
Cooking:
Who does the most cooking? - michelle. soldier boy can't cook for shit.
Who is the most picky in their food choice? - i think Michelle. cause soldier boy looks like he has more of an appreciation for good after being in the box for a long ass time.
Who does the grocery shopping? - Michelle. listen soldier boy did it once, and he only got meat/jerky/junk food/beer
How often do they bake desserts? - i think Michelle does it a lot when she has the time. cause she seems like she knows how to bake real good.
Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - soldier boy loves meat. I see Michelle being our salad girl for sure.
Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Michelle would be the one to do this. soldier boy though will surprise her-- and try to cook.... :) didn't go well though.
Who is more likely to suggest going out? - soldier boy cause he can't cook to save a life, and to take her out and show off his lady.
Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - soldier boy.... for sure.
Chores:
Who cleans the room? - Michelle does
Who is really against chores? - Soldier boy lmao !
Who cleans up after the pets? - both do. if they have
Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - SOLDIER BOY
Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - neither do. cause do they really have people come over ? LMAO.
Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - michelle. so it's hers now :) !
Misc:
Who takes the longer showers/baths? - both. both do.
Who takes the dog out for a walk? - if they have one i think they would both do it together.
How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Michelle does it for each and every holiday, and also ben enjoys it cause he's been gone for a long time-- and like i said i think appreciates things more.
What are their goals for the relationship? - stay alive is number one for sure. but also have each other back no matter what.
Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - neither
Who plays the most pranks? - neither
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o0anapher0o · 1 month
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thank you for tagging me @meraki-yao. I am very happy at the oportunity to shamelessly plug many, many of my fics :D Let’s do this!
How many works do you have on ao3?
47
What?! When did that happen? And how?
What’s your total ao3 word count?
502,199
Weirdly less surprising, even thought hat number is completely unreal.
What fandoms do you write for?
Interview with the vampire (2022)
Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries
Red White and Royal Blue
Star trek: Deep Space Nine
And I have one teeny tiny Thunderbirds fic
Top 5 fics by kudos
Somewhere I have never travelled (ds9)
Petal by Petal (ds9)
Your most frail gesture (ds9)  
Watch that man (rwrb)
Personality (ds9)
I feel like I should count the first three as one, since it’s literally parts 1, 2 and 3 of a trilogy.
Surprising how fast my first rwrb fic got up there.
Do you respond to comments?
Always, usually a bit rambly. I love talking to people about my writing :D
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Puh, that’s a hard one. I’m such a happy endings girl. My instinct was one of my iwtv fics, but they’re more angry than angsty lol, so I’m saying it’s between Of all untruths the truest is you (iwtv) and Do no harm (ds9)
What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Your most frail gesture ends with a wedding, though actually I like the accepted proposal in Petal by Petal more.
Do you get hate on fics?
None so far (knock on wood).
Do you write smut?
No. A lot of my fics make it clear sex is happing but I don’t write it and I haven’t really any urge to.
Craziest crossover
My TayNick character crossover New Information. Also my only crossover so far, but that’s a side note.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of. Hopefully having all my stuff archivelocked will keep it that way.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
YES! Someone did a translation of Do no harm into Russian. Only one of the coolest things that ever happened to me (though I would have preferred to be asked beforehand rather than simply be presented with a link).
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No. I’m not entirely sure how that would work, but I’d be open to it.
All time favourite ship?
Why do people insist you have to have one favourite over everything else? No, I’m an adult, I can have as many OTPs as I want.
What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Beneath Lucifer’s claws. I love this story so much, but I have it in me to finish it. I also have an old ATLA fic I love to bits, that has really neat bits but I was such a different person when I wrote it, it would need a complete rewrite and half of my favourite scenes don’t really work anymore.
What are your writing strengths?
I’ve been told my pacing is good. And I think I’m quite good at characters voices right when it comes to fanfic.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Punctuation. And I definitely suffer from ‘why use a period when I can use a comma’ disease XD. Scene transitions always feel clumsy to me, I don’t know if they read like it.
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
Oh, there’s an essay. If I were to give general advice I’d say, avoid it. It’s fun to read when you speak the language and annoying if you don’t, having to look up stuff all the time interrupts the reading flow. It’s even more annoying when you speak the language and the author clearly didn’t.
I’ve seen it done well once, where it was used so the characters couldexchange information because that was the natural thing to do for them, while keeping it a secret from the reader. That was neat. 'But even that could be done by just saying 'he said something in [language]'.
First fandom you wrote in?
Published or not? My first published fic was Jack’s Desk for mfmm. But I also still have fifteen year old supernatural and vampire diaries fics in a notebook somewhere. The world wasn’t ready yet.
Favourite fic you’ve written?
Something unstoppable and Somewhere I have never travelled. Neither of them came out the way I thought they would but I love how they ended up so much.
tagging @sapphosewrites @xenobotanist and @nalyra-dreaming
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wibble-wobbegong · 1 year
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hopper!
1: sexuality headcanon
straight as a board most of the time. 99% of the time. completely dedicated to joycs. but if joyce wanted to try out a threeway he would be voluntarily kissing the other man on the mouth but ONLY after the russian plot. i cannot explain why
2: otp
jopper
3: brotp
him and dmitri (only real friend he’s had the whole show)
4: notp
him and murray. i do not see it 💔
5: first headcanon that pops into my head
he shoves mike’s face in his came on his 18th birthday because, quote, “you’re a man now which means i can treat you like one” (this is the meanest thing he’s done in years and will be the meanest thing he does until doing this exact same thing at mike’s wedding)
6: favorite line from this character
cant remember the exact wording but the one where he starts threatening alexei when he complains about having strawberry instead of cherry
7: one way in which I relate to this character
masculine urge to punch as many people as possible
8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character
everything about that car scene with mike in s3. bro chillax
9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?
well. i think he’s in between the two
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ariel-seagull-wings · 2 years
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FICTIONAL CHARACTER ASK: THE PRINCESS (FROM THE TALE OF THE DEAD PRINCESS AND THE SEVEN KNIGHTS)
@princesssarisa @faintingheroine @angelixgutz @softlytowardthesun @the-blue-fairie @themousefromfantasyland @grimoireoffolkloreandfairytales
Tagged by no one. I Just wanted the chance to talk about her character
Favorite Thing About Them: She is an organized person who knows how to trade services in exchange for shelter and protection, plus how to gain other people's thrust and make them her friends, and is polite but firm when presenting an argument to refuse something.
Least Favorite Thing About Them: Just the fact that her love interest (Prince Yelisei) has a name while she doesn't.
Three Things I Have In Common With Them:
I like apples
There are lots of times where i feel vulnerable and have to ask for protection
I have an idealist romantic side to my personality
Three Things I Don't Have In Common With Them:
I am not russian
I am not royalty
I have a good relationship with my stepmother
Favorite Line:
O my brave and bonny brothers,
Virtuous beyond all others!
God in heaven strike me dead
If my answer be not honest:
I've no choice? my hand is promised!
You're all equal in my eyes,
All so valiant and wise,
And I love you all, dear brothers!
But my heart is to another
Pledged for evermore. One day
I shall wed Prince Yelisei!
brOTP: Her maid Smudge and the Knights.
OTP: Prince Yelisei.
nOTP: The Tsarisa
Random Headcanon: Her name is Yelena, the russian version of Helen, because her beauty is comparable to Helen of Troy, the most beautiful woman in the world.
Unpopular Opinion: As far as Fairest of them All type of stories go, I feel the writing of this narrative poem by Alexander Pushkin has a better pacing, focus on the main heroine's point of view and feelings and building of romance compared to the more well known german tale of Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs written by the Brothers Grimm, wich makes it a more enjoyable reading of a work of literature that feels more complete.
Song I Associate With Them:
Fly Away on the Wings of Wind (Uletay na Krilyah Vetra)
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Russian Land
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Favorite Picture of Them:
This illustration by Mikhail Nesterov
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These illustrations by Boris Zvorykin
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These illustrations by Vyacheslav Nazaruk
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The portrayal alongside Prince Yelisei by the Soyuzmultfilm animated movie
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lesbiandinin · 1 year
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Alan and Red Lantern DILF for the ship meme please
Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!
General:
Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? -until the end of time.
How quickly did/will they fall in love? - after a few fights and rolling in the sand of some beach.
How was their first kiss? -passionate and rough
Wedding:
Who proposed? - Vladmir
Who is the best man/men? -Jay
Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Jen & Ruby?
Who did the most planning? -Alan
Who stressed the most? - Alan
How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Alan wanted to ban most people.
Sex:
Who is on top? - usually Vladmir
Who is the one to instigate things? -Vladmir.
How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head
How long do they normally last? - think a lot of it has been hard & fast at first.
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - sometimes
How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.
Alan is not that cuddly.
Children:
How many children will they have naturally? - 3
How many children will they adopt? -0, but Vladmir might convince Alan of one.
Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Vladmir
Who is the stricter parent? -Alan
Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -Alan
Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? -Vladmir
Who is the more loved parent? -Vladmir
Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? both
Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? Vladmir. Alan will be ready with a disappointment line. 
Misc:
Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Alan
Who takes the dog out for a walk? -Vladmir takes his russian blue cat.
How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? -sometimes, but nothing over the top.
What are their goals for the relationship? -there was a lot of negotiation I think, but I imagine them reaching a place where they are comfortable with one another and someone Alan feels less repressed around. so, I think they stay together for the rest of their lives and have gay sex, thanks.
Who is most likely to sleep till noon? -neither
Who plays the most pranks? - they do not do that
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hausofmamadas · 7 months
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| The sweet, sweet sounds of Dinarrón |
Pairing: Dinarrón (Dina Arellano Félix x David Barrón Corona)
For @narcosfandomdiscordNarcOctober - Day 30 - Day of Amnesty (originally Day 3 - Day of Music)
Prompt: Create and post a playlist for fic/wip of yours OR your favorite episode and explain why each song resonates for that fic/wip or episode
Word count: ≈ :yodib:
The playlist -> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7DrO59HcsobbbmnVDEjLBX?si=3lcETYcXR6eDv-G_so1eBw
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Since the playlist is over 100 songs, I couldn't go over every one and its place within the Dinarrón pantheon, so I decided to pick the most enduring, impactful ones and share some of the brain virus thought process and inspo for the as-of-yet unpublished Dinarrón saga whose page count will prob give War And Peace a run for its money if I can even manage to start releasing the thing to begin with:
Blue Jeans and Born to Die - Lana del Rey
Both of these songs are basically the madness that started it all so we all have problematic fav, Lana, to thank for the Dinarrón madness that’s taken my brain hostage and effectively turned me into a psy op for my otp whose sole purpose is to construct the world in which they plausibly exist and accumulate hapless converts to my cause Nothing lyrically especially screams Dinarrón so much as it is the vibes, although the “you fit me better than my favorite sweater and I know that love is mean, and love hurts. But I still remember that day we met in December, oh baby, I will love you till the end of time. I would wait a million years. As long as you remember that you’re mine” of Blue Jeans definitely reflects their relationship dynamic or rather the one that exists in my head. Namely, the fact that they just innately get each other bc due to their shared like outsider/insider status albeit for diff reasons when it comes to the family business.
Better Version - Sabrina Claudio
So, I actually have @narcolini to thank for this life ruining song bc even though Lana was the introduction, this was the song that really solidified the madness. Like I don’t know that I would’ve continued writing for them, were it not for this song bc I shit you not, it could’ve been written for the Movie In My Head for a lush, slo-mo montage of their most tender moments, as Dina’s reminiscing on the good times while she’s actively planning her wedding to Claudio. Fíjate bien, mis compas:
More frequent visits would’ve been nice. But I don’t want you knowing that there’s somebody new. Sometimes the guilt will clog up my mind. But is it cheating if I love a better version of you? Cause he is perfect, everything I give him, he deserves it. Rarely does he ever come to see me. But any time he does, he makes it worth it, like I earned it. God, I love him. And when I’m with you, I can’t help myself but only think about him. I can’t wait to see him again. My god I miss him. And when I’m with you, I’m just thinking ‘bout how much I wish it was him. I can’t wait to see him again.
Granted, I don’t think Dina doesn’t love Claudio but she can’t help but still hold a candle for my boy, B. And she feeeeeels reaaaaaal extra fucking guilty any time she considers that Barrón might’ve been a better partner given the reality of the industry they’re in which she’ll find out the hard way. RIP to a homie, Claudio. Sosorry I have to keep your canon death in my Russian novel to further the goals of getting these two to bang it out and run off into the sunset together but you just didn’t shine quite like Our Boy at Christine’s, my dude. It’s okay, not everyone was made to be that cool under pressure sksks
lo que pasó - Nina Cobham
alright, so here's another life-ruining pick by @narcolini who tbh is like the co-compiler of this playlist I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that they've picked at least like 35% of the songs here and sent them to me for fevered, demented consumption sksks and I nearly fell to my knees the first time I heard it and DO YOU KNOW WHY????????? JUST A TAKE A GOTDAMN LOOK FOR YOURSELF:
Lo que pasó, ya no duele tanto Think that I can move on but I'm not sure ... what you want from me ... if you want from me Tú me has esperando tanto tiempo [You've waited for me for so long] Ya me tienes donde quieres [You have me where you want me] Y no te das cuenta [And you don't even realize]
in addition to,
Me dejas sin palabras. [You leave me speechless.] But what does it matter? If I told you how I'm feeling would you feel it too? I don't speak with so much fluency Words don't come so easily as they used to I think I got it but it's not it, and it throws me off You're a constant learning curve for me Pa' qué lo sabes How much, how much, could I make it any more obvious? ... Probably
I MEANNNNALSDKJF;ALKSJDFJ;AKJ can you think of another song that better captures Barrón's struggle to express himself in even the most casual, mundane situations and his tendency to compartmentalize his emotions in order to get through bc ew feelings, why would I ever deal with my trauma? are you mad? AND MANAGE TO DO THIS USING THE ALLEGORY OF ACHIEVING FLUENCY IN A LANGUAGE, IN THIS CASE BOTH THE SPANISH LANGUAGE AND THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE I'M GOING TO BE SICKDA;FLKSJD;FLAKJW;KLJ and it really just feeds into so many hcs I have in regards to their relationship like, 1) the whole fluency thing, the song's in both spanish and english, and they help each other improve in their respective languages as a way of bonding early on, 2) the tone of the song implies the object of interest/desire/heartache has the upper hand in the situation much like I think Dina would have the upper hand over Barrón bc she just would, 3) the whole "what/if you want from me" is justslkdjf;lskj saoooo0oooo Barrón, like he's not gonna act unless it's a sure thing, and at this point in the relationship despite the fact that all signs point to -> yes, you may, in fact, roll again, pass go, collect $200 dollars, she's crazy about you, hombre, do we need to hit you over the head with it for you to see he's second guessing whether Dina reciprocates Big Feelings Of Lust Love bc the class difference is so vast and he doesn't realize how actually Hot Shit he is, so he thinks it's literally insane to entertain the notion that Dina might very sensibly and understandably want to climb him like a jungle gym and any time he's close to giving way to hope and maybe broaching the topic with her, he clams back up and continues the cycle of self-inflicted torture like the good blorb he is
Cielo - Los York's
Aight, so the lyrics are sweet and romantic in a way that applies to most pairings, which means they don't speak to the Dinarrón Dynamic as much, but this song would be period-appropriate for the show and I just feel like Ramón insisted on there being a boombox in the office despite passionate protests by Mín, and everyone else who isn't filled to the brim with general anxiety and mild panic outvoted him, so now they have a boombox that's playing any time someone's there doing work. And this seems like something one of them would've played while working together at the warehouse.
Running Up That Hill - Kate Bush
This is a bit of a weird one? I guess it's less them and more Dina's POV about them. It's also contemporary the show and here's no way Dina's not into Kate Bush. I refuse to believe it. The best way I can explain why this made it on the playlist is by describing the scene in my head when I listen to it: Dina's standing at a window, looking out at the backyard of the Arellano house, contemplating the meaning of life. It's a rare cloudy day in TJ. She's newly engaged to Claudio (think early S3 long hair Dina but this would be set before S3 starts), Barrón has cried weeeweewee all the way back to the Imperial Desert to escape the crippling heartbreak of seeing her every day, knowing they'll never be together 'cause she's marrying an Actually Decent, If Not Boiler Plate dude with more status and money than he'll ever have train his dudes in the ways of paramilitary tactics, and their last convo ended somewhat tensely with him pointing out that in order to marry this guy, she'll probably have to give up any ambitions of serving the family biz in the way she always wanted bc of blahblahblah murrhsdlkjfs gEnDeR rOLeS. And right now, she's finding herself missing Barrón, wondering where he is, resenting herself for missing him and wondering where he is, resenting him for being right about giving up her ambitions, scared that him being right is going to make her resent Claudio over time and ruin their marriage, and just overall wishing he were there so she could make him understan, and what if the only way to do that is to switch places a la:
It doesn't hurt me Do you wanna feel how it feels? Do you wanna know, wanna know that it doesn't hurt me? Do you wanna hear about the deal that I'm making? You, it's you and me. And if I only could, I'd make a deal with God and get Him to swap our places. Be running up that road, be running up that hill, be running up that building.
Like^^ all that is going through her mind, staring out the window. How can she make him understand? and lowkey realizing the only way might be for them to Freaky Friday that shit skskjdlkj
You don't wanna hurt me. But see how deep the bullet lies. Unaware, I'm tearing you asunder. Oh, there is thunder in our hearts. Is there so much hate for the ones we love? Oh, tell me we both matter, don't we? You, it's you and me. It's you and me, you won't be unhappy. Come on baby, come on darling. Let me steal this moment from you now. Come on angel, come on, come on darling. Let's exchange the experience, oh.
^^ this part slaps particularly hard for the "Is there so much hate for the ones we love? Tell me we both matter" bc Dina gets that poor Davidito is having a rough time. It hurts her to hurt him this way, but she's also a bit, "Can you not find it in your heart not to hate/be mad at me? It's not like I didn't think about this decision entensively and arrive at the conclusion that sacrificing my professional goals is worth it to further the goals of teh family and I do forrealsies love this guy. Like damn, can a woman get a break pls. also pls don't hate me cuzIstillloveyoukbye"
El Muerto - Los Muchachos
god, I could write an actual fucking PhD dissertation on why this song is emblematic of my boy but this is alreayd long asf so I'll just break it down like this.
Mi gente la espalda me cuida [(I know) my people got my back] En cualquier misión suicida [on any suicide mission] Que todos con todos lo que ando son soldados [That all those I roll with are soldiers] Un hermano está en la fría, [A brother out in the cold] Otro hermano ya está arriba [another already above] Y lo que quiero es tenerlo aquí por mi lado [All I want is him here by my side] Pa' fumarnos un cigarro de maría [to smoke a joint] Como antes lo que hacíamos [like we used to do] Cuando la vida no era tan complicada [back when life wasn't so complicated]
Obviously, color me inconsolable bc of the brother references and how well it lines up with Bugsy, out in the cold (in prison for life) and Matteo, already upstairs (BC THEY KILT MY BABY BOI DEAD) but it all began with the opening lines aka clearly Barrón's sentiments upon hearing of Dina's engagement, "Pensaban que estaba muerto pero solo andaba de parranda. Sí me fui de la ciudad fue para curar mi dolor interno" which like.... so, maybe he doesn't actually flee Tijuana without telling anyone, is gone long enough for the Arellanos to wonder if he didn't somehow get himself killed, and turn out to really just be on a bender bc he needed to escape the deep anguish and personal devastation of losing his lady love ... but that doesn't mean he didn't consider it as an option very, very seriously
Killing Me - Omar Apollo
Another @narcolini pick, and this one has it all when it comes to Barrón internal strife and turmoil: questioning his sanity for being in the Business of Crimes, thinking bout how Dina's prob the only person he feels comfortable revealing himself to in any capacity except Bugsy, thinking about how that gives her way too much power over him and is tehrefore fucking terrifying, and daydreaming of making sweet, sweet love to the Woman of His Dreams. For your consideration:
There ain't nobody but us. Love me like I'm gonna die. Fuck me like you fantasize. Touch me like you know you provide to, ain't one to lie to, just wanna slide through, oh What I do makes me if I wonder if I'm alright Holding back feelings like it's the end of my life That's right, you're killing me
Lejos de Ti - Julio Jaramillo
Tbh I can't remember if I actually got this from the OG soundtrack but this is another one that is pretty self explanatory and is highly not!anachronistic. There's a few other songs on my list that rank as contenders for whatever would play in the end credits of the Dinarrón movie that's constantly playing on repeat in a projector in my brain, but this is the first one or maybe it'd be the end credits of an episode of an HBO miniseries? idk. what you guys think
Call Me In the Day - La Luz
Uhhhhhh, I can't even begin to unpack how close this song is to my heart in the Dinarrón pantheon, except to say that if I were to film the warehouse makeout scene that I wrote in Always Short to the Gate, this would be playing over it. Also, Léo RIP to a baddie dancing with Teresa in the Bolivia episode of Queen of the South polluted my mind and the sexy made it's way to Dinarrón so really, I can accept exactly no credit here
NO HAY LAY - Kali Uchis
GODDDLSKDJF;LSKJD;LKAJ okay, this is another song that inspired an elaborate scenelet in my head, which takes place after they get together but before the brothers are aware of it, so they're keeping the relationship under wraps. And as a result, this song is playing while they're getting freaky on the dancefloor yes I have a thing with dancing and these two and I have no answers or explanations except that imsorryforeverything of some trendy nightlclub that the Arellanos don't own that's like 100 miles away from TJ that they escaped off to, so they could be an real couple aka all googly eyed and loveydovey in the open. It's basically their version of date-night that's gotta be date-night on the DL bc they're both scared that if the brothers knew about it, Ramón would cut Barrón's face off and wear it to his birthday party, at the behest of Mín who is decidedly Not B's Biggest Fan at this point in the story.
If it feels so right why say it's wrong, I know you ain't had enough Sabes que yo soy la única [You know I'm the only one] que puede hacerte cosas mágicas [who can do magical things to you] Hey, en el amor no hay ley [In love there is no law] Y deja que nos miren si quieren [And let them see what they want] No matter what we do, no matter what they sayNo importa lo que digan [I don't care what they say] Yo te besaré otra vez, otra vez, otra vez [I'm gonna kiss you again, and again, and again] Bésame otra vez [Kiss me again]
For Your Precious Love - Otis Redding
I meannnnnn this legend speaks for himself, I feel like I shouldn't have to explain anything other than, pretend they got married and this is the song of their first dance and try not to throw yourself on the floor, screaming and crying. You can't
DNA - Tabi
This is more a Dina one, than a Dinarrón one, that feels like what her internal dialogue might be if she either fell out of love with Claudio after being married for some time, or began to resent him and the marriage and her having to give up her place in the AFO to play dutiful wife to someone in the public eye, or both? Like it's essentially her trying to force herself to be happy playing a role she didn't really ask for, and then eventually recognizing her independence will always be a priority to her and affirming her own need for autonomy is not something she's going to be able to suppress, no matter how hard she tries, that's just how she is and that's exactly why we love her
DNA, I don't need anybody DNA, sometimes I wish that I could change my ways I wanna need you, but I, I wanna need you, but I It's just my DNA
Banquetera - West Gold with Simpson Ahuevo
This one's mostly for the homies, specifically Barrón's homies Chato and Ziggy. The song itself is contemporary, but honestly, if we were going for period accuracy and this was in the Dinarrón Double Feature soundtrack, I would never know it was anachronistic. Like shit is right at home next to Tupac and Easy E, y'know
corazón caramelo - November Ultra
good GODDAMN okay, another @narcolini choice, that actually made me cry sksldkjfskldjflsk not just bc of the clear Dinarrón parallels but also due to Just General Life Heartache, Suffering, and Existential Dread and the LongSTanding Recovery from My Divorce That Yes, Happened 2 Years Ago But Still Hits Sometimes and is one you, dear Reader all 2 of you should listen to for the fucking out-of-this-world, actually-unreal vocal performance by November Ultra that really hammers home these actually-unreal lyrics:
Un amor como el primero [A love like the first] Pero que dure hasta el final [But lasts until the end] Mi alma es tuya, bájala de la cruz [My soul is yours, take it down from the cross] Si yo soy luna, tú eres el sol que me da luz [If I am the moon, you are the son that gives me light]
Ídolo - Adrian Quesada with Angélica Garcia
Another contender for a closing credits song and- y'know all these closing credits songs are so good, maybe I should just settle on this being a miniseries and not just a movie. We'll see what Netflix execs have to say on the matter when I inevitably write this script and clearly shop it to all the big streaming platforms and tv networks and everyone is fighting each other, full Spy vs Spy, to produce this award-win- er okay, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, here. There's something about the organ that makes this feel period-appropriate, despite it being a modern song, and I can just see all the pickup shots of San Diego and Tijuana, before it cuts to Dina and Barrón driving in some classic car, top down bc it's a convertible obvio, and quite litrally riding off into the desert-framed sunset. I mean,
En mis horas turbulentas solo oigo tu voz [In troubled hours I only hear your voice] Embrujada con potencia que hemos probado los dos [Bewitched with power we have both shared] Sombra tan bella [Shadow so beautiful] Que cobra mi voluntad pa' conocerlo [It steals my will not to know you] Ídolo, mi ídolo [Idol, my idol] Me robaste la cordura [You rob me of my sanity]
1994 - United Freedom Collective ft. Jordan Stephens
In order to fend off the doubling over in pain that I always do when I think about what this song means to Dinarrón for any length of time, I'll just say, this is how Matty feels thinking about Barrón, and how Barrón feels about Bugsy and none of it works out the way they want it to
When I look at my little brother, I feel an awful urge to smother him I wanna bubble wrap his organs Stick styrofoam in his pity Funnel sunlight into his solar plexus Turn every fall into a ball pit But I know that one day that little scooter's gonna turn into desire And much like what I just witnessed, he'll be unable to break He'll break and I'll have to watch salt crystallize on his cheeks knowing it'll have more value than any cushion I've sown myself I dream of a version of him in the future Tumbling around rock bottom, stranded there in the deep Maroons and wounds he can't touch A bruise has got its own life Every wound is in arrears It hurts and it hurts, then it disappears
Corderio De Nanã - Os Tincoãs & Sukiyaki - Kyu Sakamoto
Bc this Russian novel/Movie/Show In My Head is actually more of a Barrón biopic since I've hijacked him and essentially acted like the man's my OC instead of someone who was on the show skskjsk and in this Barrón biopic, there's a part where he lives in Hawaii briefly bc his Garbage!Father is in the navy and gets stationed there for a little while. And despite the fact that Kyu Sakamoto is Japanese and Os Tincoãs is Brazilian and not remotely Pacific Islander in any way, let alone Hawaiian one or both of these are 1000% going to be playing over a montage of Matteo, Barrón, and Bugsy riding their bikes on the beach and just generally adventuring around the island, as three brothers should. It's pre-gang initiation for Matteo, so it's them at their purest, most undiluted little kid selves Barrón looks back on this time so fondly he actually refuses to think about it bc the nostalgia is physically painful. Also, both songs are pretty cheerful and breezy sounding but can't speak to the lyrics bc the first I'm p sure is in Portuguese and the second is in Japanese so they could be all doom and gloom and I just have no idea ksksks
Cerca De Ti - Hermanos Gutiérrez
Once again, I'll refrain from going full Charlie Kelly/Pepe Silva on everyone here, but what I can say is just.... just picture, Dina and Barrón, at the beach, at night, they decide to go swimming naked in the ocean under the light of the full moon. I'll let you fill in the rest sdlkfjskd
Sage Motel - Monophonics ft. Kelly Finnigan
The final (I think?) contender for the closing credits song. Tbh this song just oozes sexy in a throwback way, in the same vein as like a Smokey Robinson or a Sam Cooke, and would be right at home in a Scorsese movie, which makes it more than qualified to feature in the end credits of the Movie-In-My-Head that will probnever happen lbr, like I'll be lucky if I even post 1/3 of what I've written skdjksjd
Over-the-Ocean Call - Lizzy McAlpine
Go ahead and throw this one on and imagine Dina calling Barrón while he's doing this paramilitary cry-fest training in the desert pretending he's not sobbing into his cheerios every morning Dina doesn't exist, and she needs to, idk, talk about some wedding details or something, maybe coordinate where he's gonna be during the ceremony and whatnot bc he's head security so poor mf's like contractually obligated to be there skskksjdkj and this sentiment is exactly where Dina's at. Throw this shit on and think about that not-at-all angsty scenario bc that's what @narcolini did before sending it to me, for me to turn around immediately and do the exact same thing. I mean, c'mon.
And you hate the things I do and sometimes you hate me But I think my mind is far away, sorta strange, this is But I think I'll call you anyway Call collect 'Cause baby this is, an over-the-ocean call And I thought I could make it short But my brain's all outta sorts, I can't hide it I'm staring at the my wall and I thought that I wouldn't cry But breaking your heart breaks mine I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine I'll call from over the ocean This time, this time, this time I'll break your heart through the phone With an over-the-ocean call Is how I told him, this isn't working anymore
You Make Your Own Heaven And Hell - The Temptations
Now, I have quite a few end credits songs, but this is the only opening credits song bc the little scenelet in my head with this song is just so perfect, idk if I could find a better way to start. It'd be similar to that asslong shot at the beginning of Jackie Brown that's literally just Jackie (played by the iconic Pam Grier and honestly, even if you don't like Tarantino, you should watch Jackie Brown for Madame Grier alone bc she's incredible) on the little conveyer belt in the airport (she's a flight attendant) trying to make it to her next flight. I think I'd do something like that with a few pickup shots right before of Logan Heights and San Diego, to introduce the neighborhood, like where B grew up. Not only is the song perfect vibes-wise, but the lyrics are so perfectly aligned to what I've essentially sksks decided are Barrón's beliefs about making money and what it takes to get by and be successful in America (and later, Mexico, ofc) and his general philosophy on being a criminalsksk
Time passes and your values change Life becomes a strange, confusing game Suddenly, you want the finer things in life But you find it takes lots of hard work and sacrifice Now you're standing at the crossroads of life To satisfy your personal wants, will you do wrong or will you do right? Life is a giant, invisible scale with two sides: good and bad You and your beliefs are the weights The things you do each day determine the balance Your conscience is a flawless judge and jury, and the only question is what do you want? I'm tellin' you the natural facts, for what it's worth You make your own heaven and hell, right here on Earth
we've been loving in silence - MARO
So, if we were to continue the Stealing-Away-Into-the-Night scenario that I proposed above for Kali Uchi's No Hay Ley, and fast forward to Barrón and Dina in some random roadside, pay-by-the-hour motel room waking up next to each other. Dawn's barely broken, Dina's laying on her stomach, and Barrón's on his side, facing her, tracing the liines of her shoulder blades with his fingertips ......, and I'm dying, and I'm dead, and I'm typing this from beyondthe grave rn, I actaully cannot continue to soldier on, so I'll just leave you with that and this:
Oh, we've been here for a while Haven't seen the sun come out Oh, we've been loving in silence, drawing with our bodies Oh, I feel like running again, yeah, I feel like running again Oh, I wanna do it again, yeah, I wanna do it again Every crooked line in your back feels like part of me Your story's in my fingers, you'll never wash away Oh, we've found some secret smiles Haven't heard the rain come down Oh, we've been loving in silence, talking with our bodies
taglist: @narcosfandomdiscord @narcolini @ashlingnarcos @drabbles-mc @artemiseamoon
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jacensolodjo · 3 years
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Kinda spoilers for Pacific Rim the Black
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I arrived in third class on the train from Vladivostok. 
She was eight years old when the Kaiju War supposedly ended and had grown up trying so hard to reach the sea. Every time she heard the Kaidanovskys were going off to defend the Siberian Wall, she tried to go and watch. She got closest during the fight with KM-24 off the Kamchatka Peninsula.  
She had named the kaiju Kamchatka Mat. It was as good a name as any. If she had been able to cross the Sea of Okhotsk, she would have. But Vik’s grandparents stopped her, just as soon as she heard the trademark fog horn noise of Cherno Alpha. 
“Vik, лапочка, you know the sea is nothing but death,” her grandmother chided her.
“But--  мама... папа!” she protested, furrowing her brows and reaching towards the sea with her free hand. 
“When you’re older,” came the constant reminder. When she was older she could join the Kaidanovskys whenever she wanted, she was assured. Ignoring of course that Cherno was a 2-person jaeger. Surely once their child was old enough to fight too, they’d get a new jaeger? It was what her dreams said. And who said dreams had to never come true? 
Until of course, Otachi and Leatherback shattered her dreams. At least she wasn’t alone in her mourning. The entire eastern Eurasian continent was in mourning. Not just for Cherno but for Crimson Typhoon as well. The Wei Triplets had, for a while, been considered merely adrift in the water. A thorough search when all was said and done proved it false. They were sadly as dead as the Kaidanovskys. 
Vik spent years letting her indignation, her rage, fester. Let it hone her into an edge. Because no matter what anyone else wanted to say, the Kaiju weren’t gone for good. And she would get her revenge. 
She started in Vladivostok, the Kaidanovskys home turf. It was the one place she knew she would get the answers she needed: how they truly fought, how they Drifted. When you’re older had finally come to pass. She was older. And she was ready. It had closed back in 2024, but she found the mothballed remaining jaegers that had been considered less than worth moving to Hong Kong. It was Russian government property, but she had managed to wiggle her way into it. She had an apartment in the city proper, and for all intents and purposes she was only a student. Eden Assassin and Nova Hyperion had been Cherno’s siblings. Now, she used Eden Assassin to connect with the PPDC network, to find the files she wanted. 
“New Ranger cadet detected. File not found.”
“I��m brand new, Eden. You’ve been asleep a while.”
“My chronometer indicates it has been eleven years since last activation,” Eden’s VI confirmed, but sounded slightly confused somehow. 
“Yeah, we supposedly won the war after shuttering most of the Shatterdomes including yours. I need Cherno.” 
“Cherno Alpha was killed in action,” Eden chirped after a slight delay for it to access the records. 
“Yes, but Cherno’s Rangers’ battles are saved, right?”
“Aleksis and Sasha Kaidanovsky, married--”
“Yes, yes. I know who they are. Do you have their battles in your network or not?” 
Vik was getting impatient. And she was sure she would be found out sooner rather than later. The Russian government may not care much about Vladivostok, but they cared enough to know the tech could be valuable. And just because they had not stripped it yet didn’t mean they were going to let a third party do it. 
“I do. I have over eight battles in the data bank, including the final one against the Kaiju codenamed Leatherback and Otachi.” 
“What about the kaiju named Kamchatka Mat?”
“I apologize but I do not have anything in my record about a Kamchatka Mat.”
Vik swore under her breath. No one else called it that, she forgot. 
“KM-24! The kaiju was identified as KM-24!” she shouted, fists thunking on the bulkhead of the conn pod. She was getting antsy now. 
“One record found: Cherno Alpha versus kaiju codenamed KM-24,” Eden confirmed. 
“Cue up their Drift record,” Vik ordered before walking over to the right hemisphere of the conn pod and activating the process to get suited and plugged into the jaeger. 
“It is not recommended for a cadet to Drift with the records of two Rangers--” Eden began to explain. 
“I don’t care. Just do it!” It didn’t even matter she had only Drifted once before. And that had only been outside of a conn pod and was practically a game. 
“Cadet, I must insist--”
“Eden, not one more word unless it’s ‘Record cued’,” Vik snapped just before the helmet clicked into place. 
“...Record cued. Drift initiating.”
If Vik had expected everything to feel serene, for all her questions to be answered, she was wrong. 
She didn’t feel panicked, however. She felt steely determination. 
“This kaiju will be done before dinner,” Sasha said, smirking. She looked over at her husband who grinned back. The bear and the wolf of Siberia. The Ukrainian hard house they so loved provided a steady soundtrack.
Vik couldn’t believe it. They both radiated so much strength, so much confidence. She could feel her control faltering as she thought back to only being able to hear the fog horn that day. The Drift was strong, but she was determined to be stronger. Her gaze turned to the screen as the kaiju erupted from the water with a roar that made Vik’s skull feel too small for her brain. It was huge. It almost towered over Cherno Alpha. 
“Let’s slug ‘em down,” Sasha said, chuckling. Aleksis laughed with her. 
Vik couldn’t believe they were actually laughing. Everyone else nearly fainted from fear but these two legends were laughing. She knew Rangers were above and beyond but they had to be the best of the Rangers. Of course, she knew that. But to see it, feel it in the Drift? 
Still laughing, they charged forward with the fog horn going like a train going past a crossing. When Cherno’s fists collided with the kaiju, the entire conn-pod shook violently. 
Vik gasped out from the pain of being slung about the conn pod, not used to the sensation at all. She ignored it the best she could, knowing Sasha would never let herself feel winded or deal with the pain until the battle was done with. She was still frantic, however, knowing that time was ticking away. This might be her only chance to really see them in battle. And she could be found out at any time.
KM-24, mentally codenamed Kamchatka Mat, roared louder than the fog horn before chomping down hard on Cherno’s right arm. Sasha snarled in pain and Vik couldn’t help but snarl with her, feeling the pain through the secondary Drift. Aleksis howled in rage before sending the left Z14 fist crashing down on the Kaiju. Vik watched as the electricity shot through the Kaiju’s head. It seemed stunned and its hold on Sasha’s arm disappeared. It collapsed into the water, sending a giant wave spraying up and covering Cherno.
Vik groaned, gasping from the pain, staring at her arm that was completely fine but also didn’t feel fine. 
As one, the pair sent a crushing headbutt to the Kaiju when it began to stand back up. Kaiju blood sprayed everywhere as half of its jaw was removed and went spinning into the distance to land who knew where. 
Vik couldn’t help but whoop in amazement and triumph. Then suddenly she was being flung backward in the conn pod and pain slashed through her whole body. 
All three Slavs screamed in pain and outrage. How dare the kaiju slash through the belly of the jaeger? It scratched the conn pod, sending all systems screeching in alarm. One more blow and the conn pod would be breached. 
“Cherno, ведмежатко, just hang in there a little while longer,” Sasha cooed to the jaeger as if to a child. 
“Wound is severe,” Cherno’s AI rumbled over the Ukrainian hard house. Vik half-expected the AI to use the word ‘mother’ after how Sasha spoke to... him. 
“So we hit it back, even harder!” Aleksis growled as he sent his fist crashing into what remained of the kaiju’s jaw. Cherno’s horn went off again almost as a victory cry when the Kaiju was actually lifted up out of the water and flung a good number of meters backward.
Vik yelled in surprise as suddenly Cherno was in the air. But it was on purpose. It... he had leaped towards its target, landing hard on top of the fallen kaiju. Cherno found what remained of its head and pounded what remained until it was practically just a handful of mush. Vik had never seen so much gore before. The Kaidanovskys didn’t revel in it but neither did they shy away from it. She liked that. It was exactly how she wanted to be.
“Error! Error!” Eden suddenly yelled out. And just like that Vik was being yanked out of the Drift. She screamed in outrage before stepping out of the rigging. 
“Eden! What the hell?” Vik demanded. 
“Intruders detected. Not Kaiju. Recommend a tactical retreat,” Eden said. Vik couldn’t believe the VI was actually helping like this. 
“I’ll be back. I promise! And... thank you, Eden,” Vik said before she was scrambling out of the mothballed jaeger’s conn pod. 
“Of course, cadet. I will be here upon your return.”
That one battle was not enough. She needed more. She needed to be with them in the Drift for far longer. She needed to be a great Ranger. The Kaiju would be coming back and they all had to be ready. And she would be. At least she would be. 
----
Translations in order
лапочка = sweetheart мама... папа = Mama and papa ведмежатко = little bear (this is Ukrainian not Russian for head canon reasons that at the least Aleksis is Ukr not Russki and both of them speak Ukr instead of Russki while alone and of course when talking to Cherno esp. w/ the etymology of Cherno Alpha and Chernobyl and Chernobog)
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typingtess · 3 years
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NCIS: Los Angeles Season Twelve Rewatch:  “Russia, Russia, Russia”
The basics:  Callen is questioned and accused of being a Russian agent.
Written by:  R. Scott Gemmill wrote/cowrote “The Only Easy Day”, “Brimstone”, “Breach”, “LD50”, “Found”, “Borderline”, “Absolution”, “Archangel”, “Tin Soldiers”, “Impostors”, “Cyberthreat”, “Honor”, “The Watchers” and both sides of the NCIS Los: Angeles/Hawaii Five-0 “Touch of Death” episodes, “Recruit”, “Free Ride”, “Wanted”, “Ravens and The Swans”, “Impact”, “War Cries”, both ends of the “Deep Trouble” season five finale/season six premiere, “Inelegant Heart”, “Praesidium”, “Traitor”, “Active Measures” (season seven premiere), “Blame It On Rio”, “Internal Affairs”, “Matryoshka” part one,  "Talion" (season seven finale), “High Value Target”/“Belly of the Beast” (season eight premieres), “The Queen’s Gambit”, “Under Siege”, “Unleashed” (season eight finale), “Party Crashers” (season nine’s premiere), “This Is What We Do” (episode 200), “Các Tù Nhân”, “Goodbye Vietnam”, “Ninguna Salida” (the season nine finale), “Hit List”, “Asesinos”, “Till Death Do Us Part”, “Choke Point”, “The Guardian”, “Hail Mary”, “Kill Beale Vol. 1”, “Alsiyadun”, “Fortune Favors the Brave”, “The Bear” (season 12 premiere), “Angry Karen” and “Love Kills”.
Directed by:  Daniela Ruah who has other duties with the show.
Guest stars of note:  Returning from other season 12 episodes are Gerald McRaney as Retired Navy Admiral Hollace Kilbride, Nicki Micheaux as DOJ Special Agent Effie Carlson, Eugene Prokofiev as Oleg Barinov and Olesya Rulin as Zasha Gagarin.  Back from Kensi and Deeks’s wedding is Ravil Isyanov as Anatoli Kirkin.  Guest stars include Seamus Dever as Kapitan Alexi Gonchgarov while KCBS reporter Sara Donchey plays KCBS reporter Sarah Donchey.
Our heroes:  Continue on season 12’s long Russian road.
What important things did we learn about:
Callen: In custody. Sam:  Nearly hooked a surfer. Kensi:  Wearing two hats as actor and director.  A hyphenate. Deeks:  Attorney at law, screamer, guitar player, hyphenate. Eric:  Not today. Nell:  Ibid. Fatima:  Apologizes to both Sam and the Admiral for things that aren’t her fault. Roundtree:  In San Diego giving a deposition.   Hetty:  Hunting for a high ranking Russian spy.
What not so important things did we learn about:
Callen: Thought he was Irish. Sam:  Did not get a medical degree with his gym membership. Kensi:   Has a special voice to get Deeks to do things for her. Deeks:  Model, too. Eric:  Not today. Nell:  Ibid. Fatima:  Allergic to avocados. Roundtree:  Still in San Diego. Hetty:  Negotiating the return of two NCIS agents from Syria.
Who's down with OTP:  Kensi is pimping out Deeks and enjoying it.
Who's down with BrOTP:  You know, Sam and the Admiral could be real buddies.
Any pressing need for a cranky retired Admiral?  So much so he’s here.
Who is running the team this week?  Kilbride but barely.
Fashion review:  Callen is in a blue long-sleeve tee-shirt and a black jacket before wearing a janitor’s uniform.  Sam is in a red long-sleeve tee-shirt with a black jacket.  Kensi is wearing a pale grey sweater and black leather jacket.  Deeks starts the episode in a blue suit with a crisp white dress shirt and no tie.  Later, he’s in a dark blue zip-up hoodie and a blue-grey long tee-shirt.  On the Pier, Deeks has a poncho and I can’t even describe Kirkin’s clothes at the photo shoot.  Pale purple sweater for Fatima.
Music:  Three songs!  “Weight of the World” by Willow Robinson is playing in the teaser.  “Les Hugueots: Overture” from the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra is the music Deeks uses to mask his conversation with Callen.  “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred is Kirkin’s modeling music.
Any notable cut scene: Not cut scenes but this had both the episode commentary by Daniela Ruah as well as a nine-minute feature about Ruah directing.  They are getting their own post.
Quote:  Kilbride:  “He's being questioned by the Center for Counterterrorism.” Sam:  “About what?” Kilbride:  “Being a Russian asset.” Sam:  “Are you kidding me?” Kilbride:  “Am I known for being a kidder?” Fatima:  “How could anyone suspect Callen of being a Russian agent?” Kilbride:  “Well, in case you have been too busy surfing or enjoying your organic avocado toast, there has been a bit of a... power struggle in this country lately.” Fatima:  “ I don't surf, and I'm allergic to avocados…sir.”
Anything else:  The previouslys are all from “The Bear”.  At the beach, Callen is calling a disconnected number as he broods.   As he starts to return to his car, he sees he’s picked up a tail.  He takes a picture of the big SUV following him.  When he starts to walk away, he ducks and is suddenly next to the SUV.  They speed off.  The short credits run.
Fatima joins Callen in Ops.  He’s not sure he has a case, just an SUV trailing him.  He’s had a feeling he’s been followed for the last few days.  Since he’s running an errand, could Fatima run down the owner of the SUV.  She wants to know if the team should be involved.  Callen is waiting for more intel.
As Callen is walking into the DOJ, Special Agent Effie Carlson wants to know why he’s there.  Callen calls it routine NCIS business.  Carlson knows he’s there to meet someone from the National Counterterrorism Center – she’s running the task force.  She also wants to know why Callen wants to question Russian pilot Oleg Barinov.  Since there are a lot of easier ways for Barinov’s Captain Gonchgarov to defect, Callen has some questions.
Carlson invites Callen into a conference room.  She believes he’s wasting his time.  In three months, the Russians never spoke to any US officials.  They may have spoken to Russian officials – they’ve seen them and any conversation can’t be recorded.  Before entering the conference room, Callen has to put his phone and gun into a lockbox.  She wishes Callen luck.
With an American guard, Barinov joins Callen.  Callen has no interest in the guard so he’s dismissed.  Oleg has no real interest in Callen.  Won’t even sit down.  Callen asks about family, returning to Russia and his surprise that none of the plane’s crew except Gonchgarov sought asylum.  The US would have negotiated to have his family join Barinov in the US.  It would have taken time but they would be together.
With Barinov saying he’s not a traitor, Callen asks if Barinov considers Gonchgarov a traitor now that he’s defecting.  Gonchgarov actions put everyone in jeopardy.  Landing the plane in the field could have killed the entire crew.  No response.  Callen wishes Barinov a safe trip back to Russia and ends the interview.  As the guard returns, Barinov says Captain Gonchgarov is a true patriot.  Callen is surprised.
Joining Callen in the conference room, Carlson wants to know what Callen has on Barinov.  Other than the basic family info, Callen doesn’t have much to share.  Carlson talks about Callen’s work history – that he was CIA before NCIS working mostly in Russia.  Callen says it was really the Ukraine.  Carlson notes some people consider the Ukraine part of Russia.  Ukrainians do not.
Bringing up Callen’s birth name – she has Grisha Aleksandrovich Nikolaev – which is about as Russian as it comes.  Callen jokes about being Irish.  More time is spent on the Callen family history – his KGB Dad who was disillusioned by the Soviet Union.  Callen mentions that dear old Dad wound up being a CIA asset.  Anna is brought into the conversation because she’s Russian too.  Carlson asks for Anna’s location and Callen can honestly tell Carlson he has no idea.  “I’m starting to think we’re broken up.”  Arkady comes up and as difficult as it is to believe, he was KGB too.  Carlson has lovely photos of all of the Russians in Callen’s life.
Callen’s done with this.  He’s sorry things did not go well in the hallway and he’s sorry Carlson’s group has had no luck with Barinov but the crew of the plane are a group of “very nice young airmen” who want to go home.  They are not a threat.  When Callen starts to leave, Carlson pushes a button on the conference room table. Callen can’t leave even though he’d like to.  Carlson wants to how long “Grisha” has been working for the Russians.
As Sam arrives to an empty bullpen, he asks an arriving Fatima where everyone is.  Kensi and Deeks have an appointment but are expected soon.  Roundtree is in San Diego giving a deposition.  Callen was in earlier but left.  Sam tried to call Callen but Callen didn’t pick up.  Fatima is worried which has Sam worried.  Fatima recaps Callen’s beach morning. Sam is unhappy he’s just hearing about this.  Both Callen’s phone and car are off-line.  Fatima apologizes but Sam tells her Callen should have told her where he was going.  Sam is going to alert the team but wants Fatima to find the last known location of Callen’s phone or car.
With more photos, Carlson is now going through Anna’s prison time and Kate Miller who “surprise to surprise” was a Russian agent.  Callen would like some coffee, completely bored by the presentation.  Next in Callen’s Russian connections is Zasha Gagarin who NCIS spoke with 91-days ago.  Callen explains Gagarin gave up the names of the people on the plane.  That makes no sense to Carlson since Gagarin is a spy – why would she help.  Callen explains that Gagarin enjoys a certain lifestyle in Los Angeles.  NCIS paid her because communism is not as fun as a Neiman’s shoe sale.
Stunned, Carlson thinks Russia gave NCIS the information they wanted to hear.  Callen knows that but it was a smart risk considering what they knew.  Carlson reminds Callen that while they captured the crew, the “strategic bomber” was blown up by Callen, losing all the valuable intel inside.  Callen makes it clear, the crew blew up the plane.  It was in his after-action report.  In Sam’s after-action report was his belief that blowing up the plane was a mistake.  Callen thought it was better to save the crew and lose the plane than to lose all of them.  Carlson notes the crew are more Russians in the story – plus of course Callen.
While Callen thinks Carlson was following him, she denies it.  He asks what is her goal with the interview.  She’s trying to protect the country from foreign intervention.  Callen is disappointed but then again, conspiracy theories are all the rage these days.  Still, he expected more out of a federal agency.  Callen has been identified as a Russian asset.  Callen asks if she writes fan fiction in her spare time.  He also asks for her sources.  While not at liberty to reveal the DOJ’s sources, Carlson says everything their informant has given them has been verified.  
The last place Fatima has for Callen’s car and phone is right near the Federal Building in Westwood.  If Callen is in a secure area, that would mean his phone signal was blocked but Sam still doesn’t understand why car tracker isn’t working since there is no underground parking lot.
Joining the in-Ops fun is  Admiral Kilbride.  Sam introduces Fatima to Kilbride.  The Admiral knows where Callen is – “in the middle of a witch hunt” – and fills Sam in. Fatima is stunned anyone would believe “Agent Callen” is a spy.  The Admiral thinks Fatima has been too busy surfing and eating organic avocado toast to notice the power struggle going on in the country.  Fatima doesn’t surf and is allergic to avocados.  The Admiral actually smiles.
With Callen in custody, his car has likely been impounded and held in a secured area – that’s why the GPS isn’t working.  Fatima asks why Callen hasn’t called for a lawyer.  Sam thinks while the DOJ believes they are interrogating Callen, he’s actually questioning them.  He’ll figure out what the DOJ is looking for and then stop cooperating.  Kilbride will call the SecNav so she will start making some phone calls.  Sam wants to get someone into the DOJ.
Callen is questioning Carlson.  He’s asking about when she was tipped off about his “so-called Russian connections.”  Callen wants to understand the timeline.  An official comes in to speak with Carlson.  Callen says if she has other obligations, he’s happy to finish up.
Outside of the conference room is Deeks, who is trying to sell his bar to Barinov’s guard.  Carlson arrives, asking who Deeks is.  With a card, he announces he’s Martin Atticus Deeks, Esquire.  He is there for his highly decorated and respected client Special Agent G. Callen – he asks “who, pray tell, are you?”  Carlson introduces herself.  Deeks takes a photo of her ID badge for his friend “Wolfy” at CNN who is a stickler for details and the truth.  Carlson wants to know who told Deeks to appear.  Deeks calls lawyer/client privilege.  He also tells Carlson her boss is about to get a call about now clearing this all up.  Carlson assures Deeks she’s the boss.  He thinks she’s probably not the boss anymore.  
Deeks joins Callen, asking “how you doing there tiger?”  Deeks has Carlson leave because he wants to speak to his client alone.  Deeks opens his briefcase as Carlson leaves.  Callen wants to know why Deeks is there.  He has a sandwich and a speaker.  Playing a little classical music, Carlson can’t hear what’s going on through the door – “sneaky bastard”.  
Callen tells Deeks what he knows – the DOJ is hunting for a Russian mole.  Deeks jokes that they finally got Callen.  Not sure if this is about him, Hetty or someone they know, Callen has been identified as a Russian Agent.  Deeks asks why but Carlson left behind photos of Garrison, Anna, Katya, Arkady and Gagarin.  Deeks knows how it looks.
In the upstairs office, Kilbride talks about rumors of a high ranking US member of the intelligence community actually be a Russian agent.  Sam thought that was an urban legend.  Hetty had a plan to smoke them out.  Fatima is explaining the same story to Kensi in the bullpen so the scene goes back and forth.  
Posing as journalist, two agents were put into Syria by Hetty. She had them share intel in a controlled manner that would get back to Washington.  By monitoring who says what, she could find the spy by how Assad and his Russian backers moved troops.  As Hetty was getting close, the government grabbed the agents.  The US government doesn’t know if the agents’ covers were blown.  Hetty is negotiating their release.  Callen could be a misdirection in all of this.  With Callen being Hetty’s prized protégé, the spy inside the government could be covering their work.
Carlson has had enough of the overture from “Les Hugueots”.  Callen thinks she’s more a fan of Kraftwerk.  She wants both Callen and DEEKS gone from the Federal Building.  Deeks notes she got the call from above he promised.
In the parking structure, Callen tells Deeks about Barinov’s line about Gonchgarov being a true patriot.  Callen thinks it is a code.  A lot of time and money goes into getting a Russian spy in with US intelligence.  Accusing Callen of being a spy could take away attention from someone else.  Lose an old bomber and its crew to get their spy inside the US or protect another.
Just as Hetty was looking for the mole, the plane landed.  Callen thinks Gonchgarov is working for the Russian Intelligence. There would be just enough intel on the plane to make it look like the Captain defected.  The problems started when the plane blew up.  Callen is going back into the building.  He has idea and turns himself back in.  Deeks calls Sam, who is stunned. Carlson is surprised Callen had a change of heart.  He hasn’t.  He just needs to see Captain Gonchgarov.
Up in Ops, Fatima and Kensi are reviewing all the Russians the team has dealt with over the years.  The need to find someone they trust.  That’s a problem.  Kensi finds one – Kirkin.
Deeks is not on-board for Kirkin.  He recommends Arkady but Arkady’s links to Callen knock him out of consideration.  Deeks feels so – Kensi suggests “special” – but Deeks thinks “dirty” working with Kirkin.  Deeks is the only one who can get Kirkin to help.  Changing her voice to a high pitch, Kensi asks “please” and Deeks relents.
Walking down a residential street in Los Angeles, the Admiral is yelling at Sam on his cell asking what the hell is wrong with NCIS.  Kilbride thinks it is a terrible plan.  Sam thinks it is the only plan they have.  Besides, the Admiral put a dead guy in a golf cart once..  Getting into his vehicle, Kilbride thinks the team has all been drinking Hetty’s Kool-Aid.  A gunman arrives and shoots Kilbride.
Carlson is moving Captain Gonchgarov from his safehouse.  There has been an incident and she doesn’t believe he’s safe.  Kilbride is rushed off in an ambulance with EMT Kensi Blye.  The Admiral is disgusted with himself for going along with the plan.  Kensi remembers the dead guy in the golf cart and Kilbride is finished with that.  He starts reminiscing about a time when he once emptied a morgue and decides that’s not a good story to tell.  Kensi agrees.
Deeks arrives as Kirkin is having a meltdown in “The House of Kirkin”.  Kirkin’s frown turns upside down when he sees Deeks.  He introduces Deeks as LAPD to the people in the studio.  Deeks updates Kirkin on his career change and Kirkin is delighted Deeks is a very secret agent.  Kirkin has turned over a new leaf.  Through art and fashion, he’s giving back.  “Why not share this with the world.”  Deeks asks for a favor and Kirkin thinks they can help each other.
As Gonchgarov is being sped to a different location, this SUV is cut off by a Sprinter van.  The driver and his partner are executed, Gonchgarov is put in the van.  It is Callen and the team doing the kidnapping.
Bringing Gonchgarov to the boat shed, Kirkin at the table in the main room in is a plastic jumpsuit.  There is a tarp in the back of the boat shed’s main area with a sheet over a body.  There is blood on the sheet.  Kirkin explains to Callen that he didn’t mean to kill her but things happen.  There is a news report on the big screen about Kilbride’s assassination.  Kirkin is cleaning up the mess – Kilbride was a Russian asset.  They got Gonchgarov away from the DOJ just in time.
Callen is interrogating Gonchgarov – someone outed Kilbride and the Americans killed him.  Unless another Russian spy killed Kilbride.  Gonchgarov denies being part of any of it.  He’s not Russian intelligence.  He just wants to live in America.  Callen calls Gonchgarov a traitor.  
In Ops, Kilbride joins Fatima to watch Masterpiece Theater.
Still in the main section of the boat shed, Callen asks if Gonchgarov gave him up.  Gonchgarov doesn’t even know who Callen is.  Kirkin calls Gonchgarov  a liar and, pulling out some pliers to find the truth.   The door opens to the boat shed and Deeks is dragged in by Sam wearing a ski-mask.  Deeks is thrown on the tarp in the back of the boat shed.  Callen drags Gonchgarov to interrogation.  Kirkin is worried about “Marty” but he’s fine.  Kensi, the woman under the tarp, needs to pee.  As Kensi races to the restroom, Deeks starts warming up for his screaming.  
Gonchgarov insist he is defecting but asks if Callen is really working for the Russians.  “How do you think I knew where to look for your plane?”  And who blew it up to keep it from the Americans.  Gonchgarov says he’s just a pilot.  Callen disagrees.  Gonchgarov is either an asset or a liability.  Deeks’s screams can now be heard through the interrogation room walls.   Callen says the good thing about the boat shed is nobody hears the noise and it is easy to throw bodies into the ocean.
Fatima asks Kilbride if he believes Gonchgarov believes what’s going on.  “Not unless he’s an idiot.”  Fatima notes the Admiral isn’t big on encouragement.  “Not everyone got a trophy when I grew up.”
With Callen promising that Kirkin can get him both papers and work, Gonchgarov isn’t interested in a new identity.  Callen asks what does he think is going to happen if he doesn’t cooperate.  Since the US in the land of opportunity, Gonchgarov thinks he can work hard and be something.  Callen calls him an embarrassment to Moscow.  He won’t be allowed to live in the US happily ever after.  Gonchgarov says his freedom is worth the risk.
Sam tells Deeks to stop screaming – Gonchgarov isn’t budging.  Deeks really thought he was selling the story.  Kirkin had goosebumps.  Deeks asks why does Kirkin have to make things weird.
If he is return to the American authorities, Gonchgarov will share the one thing he has – a phone number he was made to memorize it in case he was in trouble in foreign territory.  In the main room, Sam thinks it could be legit but the Russians could have a dozens of numbers for different situations.  
Fatima traces the number to London.  Kilbride thinks it is a hub where they can trace the caller’s location and get a team in the area to pick the caller up.
Giving Gonchgarov a flip-phone, the Taxi Service is called.  He is told to go to the Santa Monica Pier in an hour.
At the Pier, Gonchgarov sits at a bench.  Callen is in a janitor’s uniform, Sam is fishing, Kensi has a baby carriage and Deeks is wearing a poncho and playing a guitar.  Sam nearly hooked a surfer while he was finishing.  Deeks was nearly hooked a few days earlier.  Kensi thinks it was a shame he was thrown back.  He thinks she’s being unkind.
Callen notices a woman approaching Gonchgarov but she’s just taking a selfie.  The Admiral wonders how America went from the Greatest Generation to the Selfie Generation.  Kilbride would rather be tarred and feathered than take a selfie.  Sam thinks tar and feathers stopped being a thing when the railroads were put in.
The young woman hands Gonchgarov her phone.  While the team first thinks she’s making contact, Gonchgarov take her picture and returns the phone.  She shakes his hand and thanks him.  As she walks away, Deeks recognizes her as Zasha Gagarin.  Callen sees her toss her phone and her leather gloves.  She also removes a pair of latex gloves.  Racing to Gonchgarov, Callen wants an ambulance.  Sam realizes Gonchgarov was poisoned.  
Not getting too close, Kensi and Deeks order Gonchgarov not to touch has face with his hands.  As he tries to walk away, Gonchgarov starts to cough.  He collapses and has a seizure.  The team cannot help him.  While Deeks chases Gagarin with Callen and Sam,  Kensi stays with Gonchgarov but Gagarin is in the wind.
A hazmat team takes away a barely breathing Gonchgarov.  Kensi  is going to the hospital so the Russians can’t finish him off.  Carlson arrives.  She’s furious.  NCIS paid $30,000 to Gagarin – Deeks corrects her since it was $38K.  Carlson wants to know why Callen’s lawyer was there but Deeks explains he’s a hyphenate.  She calls him a dumbass, which entertains Callen and Sam.  With the only member of the Russian flight crew willing to cooperate released to NCIS and now nearly dead, Carlson is not a happy DOJ Agent.  Carlson wonders how Gagarin escaped unless Callen was working for Russia.
When Sam suggests Gonchgarov could pull through, Carlson asks if he got a medical degree with his gym membership.  That gets a laugh out of Callen and Deeks.  Carlson wants to bring Gagarin in but with her connection to the Russian consulate, Carlson will be drowning in red tape.  With Gagarin on the run, the DOJ should let NCIS find her so Carlson will finally get her real Russian Agent.  She wants to work with NCIS on this.  Callen agrees as long as the DOJ stops following him.  Carlson assures them all, the DOJ is not tailing Callen.
In Ops, Fatima asks if there has been any signs of Gagarin.  Kilbride thinks she’s having dinner at the Russian Embassy in Mexico City.  Gonchgarov is in a coma.  Kilbride thinks the plan could not have gone much worse.  Fatima, who is on her way to stake out the Russian Consulate, apologizes for things going off the rails.  The Admiral thinks there are those you win and those you curse.  He wishes her a good night.
An arriving Kensi sees Sam and Deeks packing up their things in the bullpen.  Callen is off to check on Arkady.  Arkady put Zasha on the team’s radar.  Kensi wants to go home but Deeks tells her they have a date.  She really isn’t interested but Deeks tells her if she wanted to stay home she shouldn’t have pimped him out to Kirkin.  Sam announces he’s leaving.  Kirkin needed a quid pro quo.
In his studio, Deeks is wearing Kirkin’s ridiculous fashion as Kirkin gleefully takes some pictures.  Kensi is brought a bottle of champagne.  Kensi is getting a little smashed.
As she walk into her hideout, Gagarin is grabbed from behind by Callen wearing a dark hoodie.  Callen tells her killing Gonchgarov was never part of the plan.  If Gagarin didn’t kill him, someone else would have.  Callen should have been warned but Gagarin said then they both would have been killed.  She diluted the poison as much as she could but it had to look real.  She apologizes – she tried.  Gagarin doesn’t know where the Russians would send her but she’s expecting to be sent somewhere.  Callen threatens to kill Gagarin if she double crosses him.
What head canon can be formed from here:  The end is a mess because if memory serves – and that’s why I do this – I don’t think Zasha is even mentioned again.  
Fatima apologizes too much to the men in charge for things that aren’t her fault.  It wasn’t her fault Callen left without telling anyone where he was going and it wasn’t her fault that the case went sideways but she sure as hell apologized to both Sam (for Callen) and the Admiral (for the case).
The Kirkin stuff is sadder when you know how it ends.
Episode number:  This is episode 11 of season 12.  Episode 273 overall.
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mi6-cafe · 3 years
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Character Russian Roulette I
As you may know, this weekend premiered two rounds of a new game organised by @charmedor​ and called Character Russian Roulette: Kind of like Cards Against Humanity But More Fun!
Thank you to everyone who joined in and played with us. We hope you had as much fun as we did.
Now, some of you couldn’t make it to the Discord sessions but still wanted to play the game. So, we’ve decided to post the sets of questions on Tumblr.
First, refresh your memory of how to play HERE. (Yes, you do need to prepare your list of characters beforehand. Otherwise, it’s cheating 👀.)
Second, get ready for an avalanche of crazy and click to read more below the line.
Lastly, post/reblog with your favourite, craziest situations and tag the cafe if they’ve inspired you to write a fic.
First round!
1 & 4 are your new OTP, explain why they are perfect for each other.
7 and 9 have to organise a birthday party for 1. Who pulls out a knife first and what’s the theme of the party?
3 & 9 meet in a pub. Who will be the first one to make a move? What pick up line will they use?
2 gets locked out of their hotel room naked. 8 catches them. Who breaks the silence and what do they say?
High school AU with 5 and 9. Who invites who on the first date? How does that go? Will they end up going to prom as a couple? 
6 just accidentally walked in on 2 in the shower. Who screams first? What are the consequences? And what does 2’s shampoo smell like? 
OMG! 6 just discovered 1 and 3 were in a secret relationship all this time. How did they catch them? How would each of them react? 
5 has fallen through a portal into Narnia. Sadly, they’ve messed up right after landing and Aslan is not happy. What did they do? How will they appease the giant cat?
It's the apocalypse! Zombies and robots and cucumbers everywhere! How does 8 respond? Between 7 and 8 which one survives the apocalypse and how?
1 is 8’s terrible, horrible boss. What is the worst thing 1 has ordered 8 to do?
What's the weirdest situation 5 and 2 can get themselves into while at the zoo?
The characters are 10 and 9 and it’s a Beauty and the Beast scenario. Who is the beauty; who is the beast? Bonus: which animated object will 8 be?  
7 gets an offer from 3, what is the offer and will they accept? 
6 switched bodies with 5. What’s the first thing that 6 does? And how does 5 take advantage of the situation? 
10 will bring the end of the world. How?
2 and 9 find themselves in a Hallmark movie situation. Can they survive the sugary-ness? Who starts shooting/killing people first?
7 and 10 are fighting for 6’s heart. Who will win and how?
8 and 4 get a dog together. They name the dog after the one thing they have in common. What’s the dog’s name?
2 is trying to get 1 & 10 to date one another. How will they do that when their first attempt (locking them in a meat freezer for 15 minutes) has failed?
Oh no, the last thing 3 wanted was to get stuck in an elevator with 10! Especially, since they’ve been trying to smuggle X out of the building. What are they smuggling and what happens when 10 finds out?
Second Round!
2 & 3 get drunk together. What are the consequences of that evening?
That’s it! 9 has gotten on 4’s nerves for the last time! Choose between these three items and say how 4 will use them to get their revenge: a) a spear b) a LEGO piece c) a banana.
Oh dear lord, 8 has killed 6. How? And - Why?
It’s the Regency era and only 10 can help save 1’s ruined reputation! Can they have a happy marriage and would an illicit duel at dawn be the better fate?
What is 3's Tinder name and summary? 
A zebra has escaped! Quick, 10 and 7 have to work together to catch it with only a lasso and a violin at their disposal.
 Oh boy! 9 and 7 got superpowers! Which superpower did they get? Will they be enemies or on the same team?
1 and 5 have committed terrible, grave sins in their past life. As a punishment, they must now compete on Netflix’s Nailed it! Who fails more at recreating Queen Elizabeth’s head out of fondant and cake? Bouns: is there any way they can redeem themselves? 
5, 4 & 8 are stuck in an elevator and one of them is going to turn into a werewolf any minute now. What's going to happen?
A genie grants 6 three wishes. What do they wish for?
2 and 4! And then they were snowed-in! (Is it really a cause for excitement? What’s the most likely scenario here?)
A witch has turned 5 into an animal. Which animal and how will 6 help turn them back?
9 has started a cult (??by accident?? How the hell did it happen??). What rules must you obey when joining their cult? 
1 has a foolproof way of discouraging Jehovah’s Witnesses from ringing the doorbell. What is it?
8 & 7 are at comic con. Which TV show panel are they attending? Which MCU star are they trying to get an autograph from? What are they cosplaying?
4 & 10 found a tardis! When and where are they going to travel? 
3 and 8 are desperately, helplessly pining for one another. Does their love have a chance? 
It's a bookclub with 7, 3 & 6. What are they reading? What are they drinking? How do they get 7 to do a dramatic reading? 
1 & 6 are baking pretzels together. 4 is the hot firefighter that is coming to save the building. Will it end in a threesome? How will they get to eat pretzels in the end?
8 & 10 taking a pottery class. How good are they at making vases? Will it become erotic? 
The dragon (aka John Hurt) tells 10 that his destiny is to protect and marry 9. How 10 will react? Will the dragon be in charge of the flower arrangements or the wedding cake?
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2o2o-kit · 4 years
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O’s Movie Commentary: Fiddler on the Roof (1971)
Hi it’s O, and I decided to do a new thing where I will post my thoughts/commentary while watching movies. I will keep on updating this post as I watch the movie, well until it’s over then I’ll post a review (PS, let me know if I should more of these)
While I’m patiently waiting for Hamilton, I decided to do another movie musical, so ‘Fiddler on the Roof’ just came on Netflix and I have only heard like one or two songs from it so I decided to give it a try and post my thoughts here: *Slight Spolier Warning*
Holy What? This thing is 3 hours long!?! I thought it was only two, well I’m staying up late tonight
What a pretty sunrise, I love the shadows of the building
Ope there’s the fiddler on the roof
I didn’t realize it was that dangerous to play a fiddle on the roof
I kind of like the breaking the 4th wall
I don’t know if I like this whole ‘tradition’ thing, I bet the musical is about people changing tradition
I’m sorry matchmaker, but having no husband is better than having the worst husband, just look at Anne of Cleves
That tailor boy, Motel, is such dork, I love him 😍
I love the humor in this
Lazar Wolf is a cool name
Girls you don’t need a husband yet or at all
“Matchmaker, Matchmaker,” I’m starting to sing along to this 🎶🎵
I love these girls, they are my new theatre femme trio
These girls are so pretty, they don’t need a dowry 😍
Oh wait now the actress are all like 60, I forgot that
It’s time for: IF I WERE A RICH MAN 🎵
I have to stop myself from singing so I don’t wake my family
YUBBY DIBBY DIBBY DIBBY DIBBY DIBBY DIBBY DUM!!!🎶🎵
Okay that’s all the songs I know before viewing the musical
Perchik seems awesome he will fit in great with today’s modern society
Is Perchik going to get with one of the daughters, because we all know Motel is going to end up with the oldest, Tzeitel
Perchik is related to Bernie Sanders’, I’m calling it
Wait Lazar is waaaay to old to be marrying Tzeitel. He is like Tevye’s age. Also he seems nice but not cool enough to be named Lazar Wolf
This musical is hilarious
Say no Tevye, Tzeitel needs to be with Motel
I’m going to punch you Tevye
Yep Tevye, you will be Lazar’s daddy
Having a future son in law older than you is not funny Tevye, it’s gross 🤢🤮🤢
Ooooohhh, Perchik knows about Hodel’s crush on the rabbi’s son
Sparks are flying like someone getting electrocuted ⚡️🔌
I knew it
Tevye is so hungover
LET MOTEL SPEAK TO YOU, TEVYE
I love these progressive boys
They had a marriage pact?
Tevye, let them get married gosh darn it
Yes Motel, tell him
No, no, Tevye your holding the wrong fingers up for yelling TRADITION, you need to do the middle ones
EEEEEEKKKKKKK, Fiddler OTP #1 ✅, Tzeitel and Motel deserve happiness
Aww, I’m so happy 😀, I want that in my life
Leave Chava alone you Mazel Tov frat boys
Who dat? A potential mate for Chava
It is a potential mate, and German (I think)
Can’t choose which couple is my favorite in this
Okay Tevye’s dream is freaking me out
I don’t know how I feel about the entire village coming out to my wedding
I’m about to cry at this wedding, so incredibly sweet 🥺
That dancing though has me shookith
No, Perchik is being a radical, *gasp*, and he is dancing with Hodel, at a wedding, **double gasp**
This is amazing
I’m smiling so much right now, oh crap never mind
Aww Hodel is making sure Perchik is okay, that scream she did ☺️
Everything is getting all sad and stuff... this means act two has started
*bathroom break*
I love how it gives me an intermission, you don’t see that in movies anymore
Noooo don’t leave Perchik
Yes! He’s asking about Marriage
Everything is political™️
Eeeeeekkk, I’m very very happy 😆
Ugh Tevye, this crap again
Damn, that was an Okay Boomer moment
Screw your tradition Tevye
Tevye legit has his own invisible shoulder devil/angel
Do we get to see this whole thing again with Chava?
I don’t trust that soup
Golde, ‘ANSWER THE QUESTION DAMN YOUR EYES’
This makes me feel good on the inside, I’m so alone
Oh darn those Russian soilders
Yes Hodel making her own choices, even though it’s for a man, I still love her
Motel and Tzeital have a new arrival... oh that’s it, some how even better
Oh there is a baby!!! I think
Here go again, this time it’s Chava’s turn 🤦‍♀️
No Tyeve, let the world change
Okay Chava you are a little young to be married, but still
Those eyes on the mosaic are freaking me out and I don’t like it
Wow Golde is going into a church
Chava is not dead to you guys
This reminds me of Jessica from Merchant of Venice but more like able
This dancing sequence, I’m gettin chills
Guess who’s back, back again
F*** you Tyeve
Okay these girls are too young to have a visit from the matchmaker
What? Why? They can’t leave their town
I’m about to cry again
You tell him Tyeve
This song is so bittersweet
Don’t cry O, don’t cry
I need to go look for Lazer’s grave in Illinois
Aww don’t leave the animals
I knew Chava was alright, and Tzeital still loves her
God be with you
Where are Tzeital and Motel going too?
This is such a sad ending and this background music makes it sadder, I mean they all love each other but still, so unfair
The end
Okay, dang that was such a good musical! Some of the songs were a bit slow, but most of them were great. I do wish the musical had a bit more songs because with its’ 3 hour run time there were only 14 songs. I really enjoyed the emotion the musical had, the humor was amazing but I would also cry during it. The characters are great and have depth, and even though there are times when you really wish you could punch a character, you also understand their reasoning. As for I’m a sucker for love stories and this musical did not disappoint. Even Tyeve and Golde had their own sort of love story. As for me I would totally recommend this musical for anyone to see, and Fiddler is now in my top ten favorite musicals. 9.25/10
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olicitytropes · 5 years
Text
Olicity Tropetastic Awards: Season Two
Island rescues, trips to Russia, Vertigo, jealousy, and Mirakuru soldiers. The season of ‘will they or won’t they’ and ‘everyone at Queen Consolidated already thinks they are.’ He thought it’d be better to not be with someone he could really care about. She will always be his girl. He was not alone, and she believed in him. 
There was a lot to love about Arrow’s second season, and there was even more fanfic to love!
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@memcjo’s recs:
Pick Me Up (and put me back together again) -  Imagine036
Oliver Queen never panics, but he’s panicking now. Slade has him backed into a corner and the older man knows it. He's in Oliver’s line of sight then, and he freezes when he takes in the scene before him. His heart stops as he realizes Slade has managed to take him by surprise once again.
**Award: Best Use of Our OTP being the OTP to end all other OTPs!**
I Am Not Broken! - @hope-for-olicity
Set early in Season 2, Felicity breaks her leg and Oliver freaks out a bit
**Award: Best Use of the Sweetest, Most Protective, A Bit Jealous, and Also Loving Oliver Queen looking out for the Love of His Life~Felicity Smoak**
Sometimes it lasts in love (and sometimes it hurts instead) -  sarcastic_fina
After five years away, Laurel returns to Starling City in hopes of reuniting with Oliver, only to find he's moved on.
**Award: Best Use of LL accepting Olicity and moving on**
Quiet Knocking - @allimariexf
Missing scene from 2x03: Broken Dolls. After Felicity offers herself up as bait for the Dollmaker.
“Felicity. You got caught by a serial killer.” The words came out harsher than he intended.
Instantly, Felicity’s defenses rose. “I was trying not to!”
Her flippant attitude was exactly what he didn’t need to hear. It meant she wasn’t taking her own safety seriously, and it made him angry. “Well try harder, next time!”
**Award: Best Use of the Push and Pull of Attraction that is Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak**
Mutual Release - @dust2dust34
Set in Season 2.5. Mutual frustration leads to other mutual things.
**Award: Best Use of SEXY TIMES, Slow-Burn Olicity**
God Bless Gray Sweatpants -  somewhereelse
Season 2.5 AU. Felicity finds herself in the freshest of hells as Oliver stumbles upon what it takes to break her careful control.
**Award: Best Use of ORST with an Oblivious Felicity and Determined Oliver!**
can’t escape this now - @callistawolf
Oliver Queen, scion of a wealthy and powerful family, returns home from his exile to Russia to find that his mother has plans for his future that he wants no part of. Unfortunately, it's not really up to him and neither is it up to Felicity Smoak, who is about to find out what sort of man her father truly is. MOB AU
**Award: Best Use of Enemies-to-Lovers with a side of Crazy Ex Trope**
@blondeeoneexox’s recs:
The New Normal -  RosieTwiggs
Oliver and Felicity are exposed to a new drug, compliments of The Count 4.0. It quickly becomes obvious that the effects will change their relationship forever, especially after Caitlin gives them the really bad news: it's self replicating, every 24 hours, and she's not sure how soon she'll be able to find an antidote. In the meantime, they're going to have to find a way to come to terms with their new normal.
**Award: The Fic I Cant Get Enough Of (And Need More Of!)**
Almost, but Not Yet -  CSM
Time Travel. Season 6 Felicity accidentally finds herself in the past and meets Season 2 Olicity.
**Award: The Cutest, Most One Of A Kind Olicity Fic I Think I’ve Ever Read**
The Meaning of Flowers - @yet-i-remain-quiet
Five times that Oliver gives Felicity flowers. Pre-Olicity
**Award: Softest, Sappiest, Most Thoughtful Oliver**
@msbeccieboo’s recs:
Be Kind, Rewind - @dust2dust34
“Oliver,” Felicity said, grabbing his arm and turning him. “Kiss me.” (Set in first half of S2 somewhere...)
**Award: Best second first kiss**
It’s a Wonderful (Vigilante) Life, or Every Time a Bell Rings, an Angel Gets Unlimited Data - @it-was-a-red-heeler
If Oliver hadn’t told Felicity he loved her in 2.23, when would she have said it? What if the answer was “never”?
A missing scene from 2.23.
**Award: Best ‘what if’ moment**
@it-was-a-red-heeler’s recs:
Stay with Me -  watcherofworlds
No matter how hard she tries, Felicity can't wipe away the memory of the Count's touch. Then Oliver brings her comfort and some much needed company
**Award: Sweetest First Kiss**
The Importance of Scruff - @hope-for-olicity
Arrow Season 2 story set shortly after they return from Russia in 2x06. Felicity meets a nice man and decides to go on a date.
**Award: Best Use of a Babbling Oliver**
@smoaking-greenarrow’s recs:
What Happens in Russia - @jesileighs
Several months have passed since Oliver told Felicity he didn't want to risk their friendship by trying to fix their relationship. The team is celebrating a victory in Russia when the vodka gets the best of them. Again. Will what happened in Russia stay in Russia?
Sequel/Follow Up to "Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun" and "Ease the Pain"
**Award: Best ‘Drunk in Russia/Talking about the Isabel thing’ Trope**
Plus One -  sherlylikeswaffles
Set somewhere during S2, Oliver is CEO and Felicity his assistant. When he gets a wedding invitation, he accidentally makes her his plus one. So they go to a wedding together...just as friends, of course.
**Award:  Best ‘Be My Date to this Wedding’ Trope**
Deceive, Inveigle, and Obfuscate - MachaSWicket
When a threat to Felicity's safety isn't something that Oliver can put arrows in, the team has to look for different kinds of solutions to assorted legal problems. Diverges from canon during S2 mid-season break. Written as a thank you to my lovely tumblr friends.
**Award: Best ‘Fake Married’ Trope**
Dark Stranger -  paynesgrey
Felicity must make peace with Oliver's choice, even if it means turning her attention to a charming and mysterious stranger. Her attentions to someone else, however, do not go unnoticed. COMPLETE.
**Award: Best ‘Protective Oliver’ Trope**
You’ll Always Be My Girl (or Felicity’s first scar and Oliver’s lecture) -  goodgirl21
Canon Divergence of 2x06: Keep Your Enemies Closer and 2x14: Time of Death.
Felicity begins to feel insecure with her relationship with Oliver upon the arrival of Sara.
**Award: Best ‘Canon Rewrite (through Felicity’s eyes)’ Trope**
@allimariexf’s recs:
The Crow - poisonangelmuse, TheAlternativeSource
Bratva Captain Oliver Queen has been looking for revenge his entire life. When he can’t trust his own family, the Bratva to get it, he finds the answer to all of his problems in Felicity Smoak; a genius hacker who is running for her life from the same object of Oliver’s hatred, The Triad. With an unlikely partnership, The Crow might just find out that light can shine in the darkest of places. #BratvaOliver #Olicity #Smut #Violence #PossessiveOliver #RussianMob #AU #HEA
**Award: Best Instance of “The worse things get for Oliver and Felicity, the better they get for us”**
Make Me: Part 1 and Part 2 - @smoaking-greenarrow
"You're not going out in that outfit."
Set in season 2.5
**Award: Best Case of Felicity Getting Under Oliver’s Skin**
The Journey Home: A Story in Three Parts, Plus Some Bagels - @it-was-a-red-heeler
My contribution to Olicityweek 2017: Favorite Quotes
The title of my Tumblr blog is No One Is Eating The Bagels, which is my favorite Felicity quote. Here is my story about it (7 days early, because I have severe impulse control issues when it comes to publishing fan fiction...and frosted sugar cookies.)
**Award: Most Delicious Season 2 Slowburn Set Up**
@tangled23works’ recs:
Succumbing to Shadows - @allimariexf
Wordlessly, Oliver lifted her hand to his lips, placing a series of soft kisses over her knuckles. Unable to stop herself, she looked up and met his eyes, but for once she couldn’t read their expression. He was probably just trying to maintain their cover.
But what if he wasn’t?
She looked back toward the driveway as the Ferrari pulled up, her heart beating fast.
And what if he was?
~~~~Season 2 Angst and Smut!!~~~~
**Award: Steamiest and Most Intriguing Season 2 Rewrite**
The Phoenix Saga - @supersillyanddorky06
Felicity Smoak fell in love with the broody, intense Oliver Queen, Captain of the Russian Bratva, ages ago but he broke her heart. So, when the sudden marriage between them is arranged, she does not understand it and she does not want it. Except Oliver Queen is not only a harder man to live with than she realized, he also has no intention of letting her go.
**Award: Hottest Bratva Oliver and Most Sassy Felicity**
We’re Not Just Friends - @smoaking-greenarrow
Prompt: “We're not just friends and you fucking know it.”
Oliver visits Felicity after their encounter with The Count. 2x07 canon divergence. Contains smut.
**Award: Best ‘Friends to Lovers’ Canon Divergence**
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Note
pam/archer for the general and wedding parts of the ship meme?
Im lowkey proud of these
General:
Rate the Ship -  
Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? - forever bro
How quickly did/will they fall in love? - extremely fucking slowly, didn’t even start until like season 4
How was their first kiss? - you might think their first kiss is in “crossing over” when they’re shitfaced on green russians but you’d be wrong! they don’t even kiss during that weird fuckbuddy point in their relationship - it’s one of pam’s ground rules. their first kiss comes way later. archer is freaking out about something (i dont have a consistent idea of what i want for the beginning of their relationship yet so pardon my lack of detail) and pam kisses him bc he........really needs it. it’s a stone cold sober kiss and honestly not super passionate but when it’s over they separate and archer is like 10000x calmer than before and thats when he Knows
Wedding:
Who proposed? - We know pam is a strong independent woman but she doesnt officially propose. but she does tell archer to...
“really? you wanna get married?”
“yes?? we’ve talked about this, dicknuts”
“i know, i just...didn’t think you were serious.”
“we don’t have to get married for real, i guess, but i reeeeally gotta insist we at least have a wedding”
“Why?”
“Because I need something to not invite Edie to”
“I’ll get my eyebrows done so i look super hot on the invitations when your neighbors show her”
“FUCK yes”
“it can be a real wedding, too, but this doesn’t count as a proposal.”
Who is the best man/men? -
Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - (why did op put “braid’s maids fksdhsdjkhf...)
Who did the most planning? - MALORY!!! DOES ALL OF THE PLANNING
Who stressed the most? - MALORY kzjfhksjfh neither of them are really yknow.....stressers
How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.
They get married at the Plaza and completely fucking trash the place. It’s a big expensive fancy wedding that they treat like the back of a pickup truck. I’m talking like, fire.... Krieger’s clones try to drink Malory under the table.....everybody pours one out for woodhouse right on the mf floor, fuck it Dicky Woodhouse shows up, it’s incredible
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - EDIE OMG I SAID THAT WITHOUT EVEN SEEING THIS......Also Cyril DHKFDHKSDJ pam doesnt trust archer to mail the invites bc she knew he’d dispose of cyrils. She even double checks that his is in there when she mails them. Unbeknownst to her, archer replaces cyril’s invite w a novelty card that says “I HATE YOUR FUCKING GUTS!”  Cyril comes anyway ofc
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simonxriley · 5 years
Note
Another long one dksf, im sorry!!! but i just really love your ships!!! For the ship numbers can i get Tachanka 1 - 45....?
Good thing I knew exactly which ship lol because you forgot to put Skylar. The OTP of all otps, I love them! Thank you ^^ and since I can ramble on about them it’ll be under the cut. 
1: - How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?
They, for the most part fall asleep in each other’s arms and tend to wake up they same way unless they drifted a part through the night. Tachanka is the first one up by like 15 minutes because he loves to cook breakfast for them and make Skylar some tea. Skylar will wash her face right after waking up and then go downstairs to help with breakfast. Now if the kids are in the picture than Skylar is the one getting them up. 
2: - How’s their team work? Do they share well?
Their team work is very good. They make sure they communicate with what needs to be done and if something comes up, like a mission or one of them falls ill, they’ll ask if they can do what the other was supposed to do. And they’ll always split up what the kids needs evenly if they can’t do it together. As for sharing, yeah they do share well. Unless Skylar is pregnant than that chocolate is hers. 
3: - Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection?
Very much so. Tachanka will never hide their relationship, even if it may seem ‘wrong’ to other people. And Skylar’s the same way. They both enjoy some PDA, and aren’t afraid to kiss or hug in public. They’re the couple that are so in love with each other it embarrasses the kids. 
4: - First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?
Their first impression of each other was too fast paced for Skylar to even get an impression of him besides he’s cute and seems nice. She was meeting so many people at the time it was kinda hard for her to stop and talk with anyone who wasn’t Thatcher or her CTU. However Tachanka had plenty of time to watch her from a distance. He thought she was gorgeous upon first glance and loved how her eyes crinkled at the sides when she smiled and thought she was kind and seemed like a hell of a soldier. 
Was it love at first sight? More so for Tachanka. As soon as he saw her, that was it, arrow through the heart. Skylar was still very much guarded because of her past at the time of joining Rainbow, so as much as she does love him now, it wouldn’t have been love at first sight for her. 
5: - Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes?
Tachanka calls Skylar - Sky, kotyonok (kitten), and sometimes lapochka (sweetie pie) and lyubov moya (my love)
Skylar call Tachanka - Alex, Moi Sladkiy (my sweetness) and sometimes kotik (pussycat)
6: - Any tasks that are always left to one person?
For the most part they both do the tasks around the house. Both will do laundry, both will cook and clean the dishes, and both will do maintenance around the home. But if it’s out of Skylar’s arm reach, than it goes to Tachanka. If Skylar is pregnant, than Tachanka will do everything, and will yell at her if she tries to help. 
7: - What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could?
What I said up above about Tachanka taking over everything when Skylar is pregnant, that’s the one thing that annoys her about him. She gets its, he doesn’t want her stressing over stuff because she is the one carrying their children. But somethings she can still easily do, like the dishes or folding laundry. And he won’t let her do that. But she wouldn’t change it because she thinks it’s cute that he’s so overprotective of her and their unborn child(ren). 
That Skylar wouldn’t let him spoil her. This was more so in the beginning of their relationship, she didn’t like him spending rages amount of money on her or paying for her things when she could easily do so with her own money. After a while she kinda gave in and let him start spoiling her a bit more, but not with extravagant gifts. Once they were married than he could go all out. 
8: - What do they like best about their partner?
Skylar loves his compassion. To go through the horrible abuse she did by her ex, to have someone who truly loves her and cares about her well-being is a miracle. She always knows she’ll be treated with respect and honestly and that’s the most she could ask for. 
Tachanka loves Skylar’s strength. She’s been through so much in such a short amount of time. From being horribly abused to losing her whole squad. She could have turned out a lot differently, but she made sure she didn’t. She;s still kind and loving and compassionate and funny, even when the world tried to make her cold and harsh. He will always admire her strength. 
9: - Do they discuss big issues? Religion? Marriage? Children? Death?
Absolutely and they have. Marriage and children were the big ones they’ve really disgust about, because it could happen especially kids since Skylar already had one unplanned pregnancy (ended in a miscarriage) and it’s best if they both know where they stood on such things. Death has been talked about a little bit, might go into that discussion more as Jade Helm progresses and they haven’t talked about religion yet. 
10: - Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?
For the most part Tachanka drives unless he’s on a mission. Both of them cook and do the handiwork. Their bills are on auto pay so they don’t really have to deal with that. And Tachanka handles the public, sometimes Skyar, but mostly him. 
11: - Do they celebrate holidays? Anniversaries?
Yes! They go all out for both because that’s how it was in Skylar’s home and they took that tradition to their own. Halloween and Christmas are Skylar’s favorite holidays, she’ll start decorating way before the month even started. As much as they enjoyed it being just them during the holidays, it got a lot better once the kids came along and to see their joy during the holiday season was the best thing. Anniversaries are a little more low-key, with it being just them at a restaurant. 
12: - Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?
There is a wedding (spoiler, you’ll see it at the end of Jade Helm), it’s a medium size one in London filled with family and friends, lots of laughter and dancing. Tachanka and Skylar both write their own vows and it’s a beautiful thing to see. The proposal however I cannot tell you because you’ll see it happen in Jade Helm and I’m still trying to figure out which option I should use. And their is a small honeymoon. 
13: - What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up?
They switch things up, if something new pops up that they think they’ll like they’ll do it. 
14: - Anything they both dread?
Traveling with their eight (8) kids. Trying to get all eight out the door in time to get to the airport can be a hassle. 
15: - How adventurous are they?
They’re very adventurous, more so after the kids come into the picture. They’ll do pretty much anything that looks fun. 
16: - Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?
Nope, they’re very opened with each other. And they would never lie or cheat on one another because they’re just not like that and Tachanka would never seep so low as to do something like that to her after knowing about her past. 
17: - What would make them break up? Would it be permanent?
Death. Nothing could break these two up, nothing. They would go to counseling if they needed too. I would say cheating and losing the ‘spark’, but they would never cheat on each other and if the spark did go, it would be ignited again in a matter of days. Death would be the only true reason they would ‘break up’. 
18: - What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?
Their dates are pretty simplistic, dinner at a restaurant or go see a movie. Depending on the whether they might do something summer-esque or winter-esque to change things up. They got together 12-15-17 and were married on -02-14-19 so nearly 14 months. And nope. 
19: - What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up?
They usually fight over Skylar’s stubbornness, especially if she’s pregnant. Tachanka will want her to relax and not overdo it and she’s like ‘nah I’m fine I can to xyz’ and they’re usually easy thing too like folding laundry or doing some dishes. And she knows her body well enough to not overdo it. They never escalate to yelling though and make up pretty fast. Tachanka will just apologize with some flowers and say he was only adamant because he cares. 
20: - What does their home look like? Their room?
Their home is modern because Skylar likes the more modern homes, but it’s not too big. And it’s a mix of American and Russian culture. Their room is big enough to have a king size bed in it, a large dresser they both share (for the most part Tachanka’s clothes are in there and Skylar’s socks and underwear and stuff she can’t hang in the closet), a nightstand on each side with a lamp and a walk-in closet with an on suite. Decor wise, they have a few paintings, one done by Glaz, one of London and one of Saint Petersburg. This is a little while later, but above their bed is a family picture, Tachanka and Skylar with their eight kids. 
21: - Do they share any interests or hobbies?
They actually didn’t, but they were open to try what the other likes to do. And as their relationship progressed they found things they like to do together, like go camping. That they can thank Kapkan for. And they do go on camping trips with him from time to time, along with Glaz and Fuze, 
22: - Does their work ever interfere with the relationship?
No it doesn’t. They’re both military and both understand that sometimes you have to be apart, even if it kills you. They know they love each other and nothing will ever come between that. 
23: - How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort?
I’m gonna go with comfort. Whenever one of them is feeling down, they take each other in their arms and just hold one another. To let the other cry or ramble about what is making them feel that way. 
24: - Any doubts about the relationship?
In the beginning there were, mainly on Skylar’s part. She didn’t really think she was capable of being loved, the abuse she endured broke her down completely and it took her a while to realize she deserved to be loved and she wasn’t this unlovable person she thought she was.  
25: - How much time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold things in?
Almost all of their time is spent together. They live together, they work together, the only time they don’t see each other is when one of them is on a mission or they’re training with their CTUs. 
26: - How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families?
Their close friends were okay with it and were happy they found each other. Skylar’s family was completely okay with it, both of her parents’ loved that she finally found someone who treats her right. Tachanka’s sister was a little hesitant because of how much younger she was, but that soon changed the more she got to know her and figured out why her brother fell for her. The only friend that had an issue with it in the beginning was Thermite and Frost. 
27: - Do they have kids? Grow old together? Split up?
They do, they have eight (8) kids all together. Grace, twins Marianna and Konstantin, Grayson, Lubov, Apollo, and twins Lizaveta and Vera. And they do grow old together for the most part, Skylar’s 26 years younger than he is, so he unfortunately dies way before her. But they do live a happy and healthy life. 
28: - What are their vacations like?
Between completely calm and hectic. If they’re not going anywhere their vacations are pretty laid back. They’ll catch up on shows or movies they’ve missed because of work or do some stuff around the city. If the decided to take a vacation elsewhere, whether it be Bangor, Saint Petersburg or somewhere else and if kids are involved than it’s hectic as hell. But a good hectic that they wouldn’t change for the world. 
29: - How do the handle disasters or emergencies? Minor injuries? Sickness?
For the most part calmly, they’ve been in the military long enough to know if you freak out, things can happen. 
30: - Could they manage a long distance relationship?
I think they could. It would definitely be hard, but I think they could. 
31: - Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something?
The don’t finish each other’s sentences or really picked up any habits besides calling each other by pet names. They do know if the other is hiding something. Skylar is awful about it, she makes it so obvious. Tachanka however is a little harder to read, it’s usually when he keeps his phone very close to him. That usually means he’s planning something and can’t have her know what it is. 
32: - Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous?
No they don’t. The only time they got into ‘trouble’ was when they decided to make out in the hallway on base and Thatcher turned the corner. He ‘yelled’ at them to get a room. 
33: - What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions?
Tachanka will do it any chance he gets. For the most part he gets her flowers and her favorite candies, for more important occasions he’ll go all out. Clothes, jewelry, a new game she wanted, or a book. He has a lot of choice to get her.  
Skylar will sometimes gift him a new Degytyarov for a special occasion or something she drew. Tachanka isn’t a materialistic sort of man so buying presents for him is kinda hard. But he will always cherish those handmade ones. 
34: - Do they have any pets?
They do, they have two (2) cats, one’s a Russian blue, the other is a calico and a dog (pitbull). All unnamed right now. 
35: - Do they bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw?
They bring out the best in each other, or at least try too. They’re always there for one another, pushing them to do good. Their fatal flaw would be their over-protectiveness.
36: - What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?
Their greatest strength is their selflessness. They always put the other and the kids before themselves. Their weakness would be their over-protectiveness, especially with the kids. It’s not bad, like they aren’t sheltering them or anything but because Skylar was abused she’s terrified of it happening to her own daughter’s. So when they get old enough she does put them in martial arts and is very adamant on them staying in it. Though Kapkan does take the liberty of teaching them a few things too and she’s beyond grateful for that. Tachanka is very adamant on teaching his sons how to respect woman and that they don’t owe them anything. And there will be consequences if they don’t abide by those rules. 
37: - How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross?
They would sacrifice their lives for one another. That’s how much they love each other. 
38: - What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do?
They’re pretty vanilla, sometimes they might spice things up other than that their sex life is pretty vanilla. Skylar does love some dirty talk, especially in Russian and oral. And Tachanka likes oral and the way she teases him. Since Skylar was abused in every which way by her ex, they won’t do anything that could cause her harm, so no spanking or bdsm, stuff like that. 
39: - Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first?  When did they realize they were in love?
They kinda both did. Tachanka kissed Skylar first. Tachanka knew the moment he laid eyes on her and it took Skylar a little bit. After they got together and she saw how much he truly cared for her, then she accepted those feelings. 
40: - Any special memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to?
Their wedding day and the birth of their children will forever be a special memory. Yelagin Island in Saint Petersburg is one of their favorite places to go. It holds the most memories for them.  
41: - Are they party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often?
Not that much. If there’s a party on base than they’ll go, but they usually drink with friends every now and then. Skylar is one of those silly drunks and Tachanka doesn’t get too drunk, when he does he’s kinda his normal self just a bit more louder and will confess his love for Skylar to the world. No it doesn’t happen often because Skylar got embarrassed enough by him. 
42: - Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them?
Yeah, for the most part. Like the little things, Tachanka not putting the toilet seat down afterwards or him sending her cat memes. 
43: - Do they talk often? What about?
They talk everyday about legit everything that comes up. 
44: - Are the comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for?
Very comfortable with each other. So much so they know almost everything about them. Showering, especially for Skylar who has to do more. She will tell Tachanka if it’s alright for him to join her. 
45: - Any special dreams or goals they have as a couple? Any heartbreaks? Regrets?
Their main goal is to have a healthy and happy marriage and be good parents to their kids. The only heartbreak Tachanka had was when they ended up running into Skylar’s abusive ex and to see the fear on her face and how she gripped him so hard she broke skin through his Gorka broke his heart. Skylar’s heartbreak was when he passed away. They both knew it was coming, she was even preparing herself for it, but when it finally happened it still broke her. The only regret they both had was that they didn’t meet sooner. 
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starklovebot · 5 years
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bucky and nat boo?
GENERAL:
Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? - a very long time i would say but they break up quite a few times because bucky = insecure and thinks he’s making stuff bad for her
How quickly did/will they fall in love? - it takes a while but they talked about their experiences and bonded over that but they were scared of a relationship
How was their first kiss? - it was really quick and awkward bc bucky didn’t want to overstep his boundaries but then nat was like it’s ok!! and they had a longer better kiss
WEDDING:
who proposed - bucky
who was the best man/men- steve
who are the bridesmaids- maria hill, pepper, tony, and wanda
who did the most planning- they split the planning and did it together
who stressed the most- bucky
how fancy was the ceremony- back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | normal church wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big tony wanted a huge wedding and offered to pay for everything but neither of them actually have family and all of their friends are in the avengers anyways so it was a pretty simple wedding in the compound
who was specifically not invited to the wedding - sam but he came anyways
CHILDREN
how many children will they have naturally- none bc nat is sterile oop
how many children will they adopt- bucky doesn’t really trust himself around kids so they get a dog first and then they adopt twins who are a little older like 6 or 7
who gets stuck with the most diapers- they don’t have babies that age but it would def be bucky
who is the stricter parent- they both pretend to be strict in front of the other but they are very soft
who stops the kids from doing dangerous stunts at school- steve
who remembers to pack the lunches- bucky bc he used to take care of ps steve and his kids remind him of him
who is the more loved parent- trick question it’s tony bc he buys them a million presents for christmas and lets them use his tech they love bucky and nat equally
who is more likely to attend pta meetings- nat bc bucky isn’t super comfortable going to school stuff with his arm and everything
who cried most at graduation- bucky
who is more lucky to bail them out of trouble with the law- nat
COOKING
who does the most cooking- nat
who is more picky in their food choice- anything is better than what they had to eat in the red room :)
who does the most grocery shopping- nat bc bucky+people=not comfy for the babey
how often do they bake desserts- no
who is more likely to surprise the other with an anniversary dinner- they cannot surprise eachother bc they both are superspys so they both try and they both get figured out before it happens
are they more of a meat eater or a salad eater- anything is better than what they had to eat in the red room :)
who is more likely to suggest going out- nat
who is more likely to burn down the house while cooking- bucky
CHORES
who cleans the room- nat did but then bucky made a joke about her being a 20s housewife and she threw a duster at him so now bucky does the cleaning
who is really against chores- bucky
who cleans up after the pets- whoever lost the nightly game of arm wrestling (with right arms dw)
who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug- bucky
who stresses the most when guests are coming over- they both stress but the only people who come over are steve tony pepper and wanda so it’s nbd
who found a dollar bill between the couch cushions while cleaning- bucky
MISCELLANEOUS
who takes longer showers/baths- bucky
who takes the dog out for a walk-whoever lost the nightly game of arm wrestling
how often do they decorate for the holidays- asap as they can the house is ALL OUT pretty much a l l the time
what are their goals for the relationship- to help eachother grow and heal from the years of torture and abuse from the russians
who is most likely to sleep till noon- bucky
who plays the most pranks- they are actually in a prank war, bucky losing 5 to 23
@faeloki tagged u as promised xoxo
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