#or some of the worst Adam Sandler production | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

twistedtummies2 · 10 days

Text

ReCount: Top 31 Portrayals of Count Dracula

The day after tomorrow is World Dracula Day. For the occasion, I’m going to do a countdown of my personal five choices for the WORST portrayals of Dracula I’ve personally encountered. However, I’ve always believed in accentuating the positive: there are, in my opinion, more good Dracula portrayals than bad ones. Even if the adaptations and reimaginings themselves aren’t totally up to par, Dracula himself usually is enjoyable to watch, and there are PLENTY of versions to choose from.

With that said, it’s time for a ReCount of one of my largest lists: “Count-Down,” a month-long Event I held in October of 2021, where I ranked my Top 31 Favorite Portrayals of Count Dracula, along with a number of Honorable Mentions. A LOT has changed since I made that list: all across the board of the Top 31, different versions of Dracula have shifted place. Some that were on the list back then are no longer present now, and some that weren’t present then have moved in since. As for those that were there then, and are here now…nearly all of them have shifted positions in the ranks, for one reason or another. Times change and people with them, and revisiting some of these versions has given me new perspective, while renditions I didn’t know about at the time (or, in some cases, didn’t even EXIST at the time) have only added to the challenge of choosing.

With that in mind, it took a while to figure out where various takes on the Count really placed for me, overall, but I THINK the results here are - at least for the time being - the most honest and fair judgments I can give. With that in mind, allow me to present ReCount: My Top 31 Favorite Draculas (plus some Honorable Mentions).

HONORABLE MENTIONS (Left to Right, Top to Bottom)

Adam Sandler & Brian Hull, from “Hotel Transylvania.”

Sandler famously voiced Dracula for the first three films in this animated franchise. Impressionist Brian Hull took over the role in the fourth feature. I know these cartoon comedies are really popular, and I have nothing in particular AGAINST them, but I’ve weirdly never really been THAT into them.

Alan Swift, from Mad Monster Party.

This Halloweentime production by Rankin/Bass features Swift in the role of SEVERAL famous monsters, as a whole band of Gothic icons join forces to try and steal a secret formula from Dr. Frankenstein, so they can - you guessed it - take over the world. Dracula is the leader of the monster horde, fittingly enough.

The Version from “Anno Dracula.”

I absolutely love this novel series, which blends historical fiction with Gothic Horror, and has many bizarre twists and turns. The premise focuses on an alternate universe where Dracula successfully manages to take over England, turning many of the population into vampires. While his role in the series is important, Dracula HIMSELF very rarely appears, so I didn’t think it was fair to give him a place in the ranks: it’s cool when he shows up, but the books are actually more interesting for other reasons beyond him.

Count Chocula.

Ah, yes, because if draining the blood of the innocent wasn’t evil enough, we now have vampires that give you diabetes. As iconic as this cereal mascot parody of the Count is, he’s not ACTUALLY Dracula, so I didn’t feel he counted…plus there’s just not much to say about him.

James Barbour, from Dracula: The Musical (2011 Studio Recording).

There have been several musical adaptations of Dracula. This one was the work of Frank Wildhorn, and is probably the most popular. None of them are all that great, in my opinion, but this one has some shining moments. Several people have played Dracula in this one, but Barbour’s performance on the 2011 Studio Recording is my favorite.

Kamran Nikhad, from V Rising.

This game only JUST came out, and I haven't played it yet (nor am I entirely certain if I ever will). As a result, I don't really feel comfortable placing its version of Dracula in the Top 31 yet. With that said, based on the lore of the game, the videos I've seen featuring the character, and Nikhad's absolutely bone-chillingly breathtaking vocal work, I see no reason why I can't give this version an Honorable Mention. In this game, Dracula is a tyrannical and highly intelligent vampire warlord, who proves a threat not only to humanity, but even to other monsters. He orchestrates things behind-the-scenes to try and regain his throne, with the player's ultimate goal being to destroy him once and for all.

King, from Kamen Rider Kiva.

This was the first Kamen Rider series I ever saw, and it’s probably my favorite (or, at least, second favorite). A Japanese superhero series inspired by classic Universal Monsters? How can I NOT love it? The main villain of the series is the mysterious King; while he’s never outright referred to as Dracula, that’s clearly who he is analogous to in this universe. Much like Count Chocula, I didn’t feel he actually counted for the main list, but he’s worth an Honorable Mention at least. He is played by Shinya Niiro.

Mark Hamill, from Mina and the Count.

Just like Count Chocula and King, this is another case of a vampire who isn’t TECHNICALLY Dracula, but is clearly a Dracula-inspired figure. There are two characters on the main countdown who are in the same vein, but generally speaking, I wanted to save the main countdown for ACTUAL versions of Dracula. In this series, Hamill plays “Count Vlad,” a vampire who ends up befriending a little mortal girl named Mina Harper. Shenanigans ensue.

Michael McCarthy, from…a completely different “Dracula: The Musical.”

Barbour’s Dracula from earlier was in the musical composed by Frank Wildhorn. McCarthy played Dracula for a PROPOSED stage musical, created by the musical trio of Evans, Orton, and Lynn. The musical had a concept album released, as well as a music video for the “big song” of the show, “Within My World,” wherein McCarthy performed in-character as the Count, costume and all. However, the show never got off the ground. Admittedly, I don’t think the musical was that great on the whole, but it’s still a shame.

Orson Welles, from the Mercury Theater Radio Production.

It’s Orson Welles as Dracula. I think that statement on its own explains why he’s so great. Weirdly enough, while I’ve gained more respect and admiration for this radio version on the whole since 2021, Welles’ Dracula has conversely dropped out of the running. He’s good, I just tend to think of many other Draculas more.

The Phantom Blot, from Disney’s Dracula, Starring Mickey Mouse.

I brought up this very weird reimagining multiple times in past lists, so you all know the basic gist of it by now. Disney has done this concept twice - first as a graphic novel, and later as a children’s storybook - and in both interpretations, the Phantom Blot plays the coveted role of the Count. I love the Blot, in general - one of Disney’s most underrated villains, in my opinion - but I think it’s more for his sake that I like his Dracula, than anything else.

Phil LaMarr, from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy.

All I have to say here is…if you know, you know. XD A lot of people are probably sad I didn’t include this Dracula in the rankings, but trust me, he’s a funny one.

CHOICES 31 - 26

31. The Count, from Sesame Street.

One of the two “not technically Draculas” I mentioned in the Honorable Mentions. To be honest, I could rank Count Von Count - my favorite Muppet character from Sesame Street - MUCH higher, if I really wanted to, because I really do love him a lot. However, I felt it was too much of a stretch placing him in the upper tiers, simply because while he’s clearly a parody of Dracula, he isn’t ACTUALLY Dracula, but more his own unique character. However, leaving him off the list completely seemed criminal, and I like him too much to just give him an Honorable Mention…so, compromises being what they are, I decided to place him on the countdown, but at the very bottom of the heap. “That’s one! One difficult problem to deal with! Ah-ah-ah!”

30. Gerard Butler, from Dracula 2000.

I’m still not a fan of this movie, and I doubt I ever will be, but I will say I enjoy both Christopher Plummer as Van Helsing and Butler’s Dracula in the film. The movie makes an intriguing (if rather bizarre) change to Dracula’s backstory, revealing that he is actually Judas Iscariot, and his revulsion towards Holy artifacts is due to his past.

29. Hamilton Camp, from Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf.

One of the few “Funny Draculas” on this countdown, and a personal childhood favorite of mine. In this animated special, Dracula changes Shaggy into a werewolf and forces him to participate in an annual race between all of the famous monsters. If Shaggy wins, he’ll be turned back to normal, but if he loses, he’ll remain a werewolf - and Dracula’s servant - forever. It’s basically a spooky version of Wacky Races with Dracula as Dick Dastardly.

28. Rudolf Martin, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I know next to nothing about Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I’ve only seen two whole episodes of the show, along with a few assorted, scattered clips. One of the two is “Buffy vs. Dracula.” A lot of people apparently dislike this episode, which depicts Dracula as a sort of self-aware “vampire celebrity” who buys too much into his own hype, but I actually think this was a fun interpretation. Martin would later play the real-life Vlad Dracula - one of the inspirations for the fictional vampire - in the TV movie “Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula.” I doubt this was a coincidence of casting.

27. Francis Lederer, from Return of Dracula.

This film came out the same year as Hammer’s “Horror of Dracula,” and it’s not hard to see why one is more well-remembered than the other. While much of this film is honestly rather dry and dull, Lederer really delivers as a decidedly creepy, unsettling take on the Prince of Darkness, and gets a pretty great death scene to boot.

26. The Version from “Return of Evil.”

This teen novel is the first of a series of stories where the famous Universal Monsters get “zapped” into the real world to cause havoc. While the book is overall pretty decent, and actually has some legitimately scary moments, I feel that the portrayal of Dracula HIMSELF is a bit…confused. As a result, I no longer rank this version as highly as I once did.

CHOICES 25 - 21

25. John Carradine, from Various.

Carradine played Dracula in no less than four films, as well as onstage. While his work was always good, the actual movies he appeared in were less than stellar: in “House of Frankenstein” his Dracula is thanklessly killed off before the end of the first act. In “House of Dracula,” he plays a slightly larger role, and is shown as a more sympathetic character - seeking a cure for his bloodlust - but is still destroyed (quite anticlimactically, I should add) around two-thirds of the way through the picture. The comedy film “Nocturna” is just plain bizarre, and the infamously terrible “Billy the Kid vs. Dracula” is widely regarded as one of those classic “so bad it’s good” type of movies. Had he been given better material to work with, Carradine could have ranked much higher.

24. Vlad Garfunkel, from Phantom in the Twilight.

In this anime/manga series, Count Dracula - going by the alias “Vlad Garfunkel” - has reformed and become the leader of a group of monsters, or “Umbra,” who work to protect humanity from more evil creatures - sort of a Gothic Horror/Dark Fantasy version of the X-Men. (And no, in case you’re wondering, I don’t know why the Count would choose a name like “Garfunkel” as his pseudonym.) The franchise is interesting, but unfinished; both the manga and the anime end on cliffhangers and leave a LOT of unanswered questions behind, and this “pretty boy” Dracula is admittedly a little hard to swallow at times. Overall, however, not bad stuff.

23. Javier Botet, from The Last Voyage of the Demeter.

Described as a sort of cross between “Nosferatu” and “Alien,” this horror film focuses on the tragic misadventures of the crew aboard the Demeter - the ship Dracula takes to get from Transylvania to England. Over the course of the movie, Dracula picks off the crew one by one, killing and/or transforming them as he rations them off. While the movie is admittedly flawed, it’s not necessarily bad, and this more monstrous version of Dracula is an intriguingly frightful interpretation.

22. Richard Roxburgh, from Van Helsing.

A ludicrously over-the-top movie with an equally ludicrously over-the-top Dracula: you can’t say the style and the performance don’t match. Roxburgh’s Dracula isn’t well-regarded by many people, but I personally enjoy this version a lot, even if at times he’s unintentionally hilarious in his hamminess.

21. Chris Sarandon, from TMNT (2012).

This Dracula appears as the secondary antagonist of a four-part story arc, wherein the TMNT encounter several of the classic Universal Monsters. If that concept isn’t good enough, the fact Dracula is designed to have the likeness of Bela Lugosi only adds to the enjoyment factor. And if that’s STILL not enough, then the fact his voice actor is Chris Sarandon - Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King, himself! - doing a Lugosi impression should hopefully seal the deal on why he’s so great. If Dracula had been THE main antagonist of this arc, I think he could have ranked even higher.

CHOICES 20 - 16

20. Nicolas Cage, from Renfield.

Nic Cage has long been a fan of Dracula, and the Count one of his dream roles. You can be darn sure his chance to actually play the King of the Vampires was a treat to watch. In some ways, his performance reminds me of Richard Roxburgh’s, except in this case the humor is entirely planned. At the same time, his Dracula is legitimately menacing and scary. Cage apparently studied various other past performers to help sink into the role, and it works well: you can see little dollops of other Draculas in his work, but it’s still 100% his own take on the character. I honestly feel bad for not ranking him any higher.

19. Zhang Wei-Qiang, from Dracula: Pages From a Virgin’s Diary.

Again, in this combination of surrealist/Expressionist silent film and dance movie, all of the male characters are depicted in a negative light. Dracula himself is no exception, but there is some interesting ambiguity there: in the film, the so-called “heroes” all hate Dracula less because he’s a vampire, and more for petty and repugnant reasons. One hates him because he’s richer than they are, one because he’s more sexually attractive, one because he’s a foreigner, etc. While Dracula is still the villain, the heroes aren’t exactly good people either: they’re prejudiced and perverse, which blurs the line on who the real monster of the story is.

18. The Marvel Version.

I’m specifically talking about the actual comics here, because - as a future list will show - most adaptations of Marvel’s Dracula are…well…not that great. The comic version, however, is actually a pretty interesting character, riding a fine line between villain and anti-hero, as he’s been the protagonist of stories almost as often as the antagonist. Tie this into the fact he’s faced the likes of Dr. Strange, Spider-Man, and Blade (who was actually introduced in Dracula’s title series, “The Tomb of Dracula”), and it’s pretty clear why he’s awesome.

17. The Version from “Fate.”

In English this take is voiced by Ray Chase; in Japanese he's played by one Ryotaro Okiayu. In the Fate universe, the ties between the real-life Vlad Dracula and the fictional Count are toyed with in a very unique way. In the anime “Fate/Apocrypha,” it’s Vlad III who is summoned to participate in the Holy Grail War, but has the power to physically transform into the legendary vampire. In the game “Fate/Grand Order,” Vlad can be summoned in two different forms: one depicts him as being Count Dracula from Stoker’s novel, while the other is his true self, Vlad the Impaler. In all three of these cases, the relationship the real Vlad has with his literary counterpart, whose name and myth he helped inspire, is…complicated, to say the least.

16. Al Lewis, from The Munsters.

The highest ranking “Funny Dracula” of the bunch (since I placed The Count from Sesame Street far lower). Lewis’ Dracula - typically referred to simply as “Grandpa” - is more like a combination of a mad scientist and a kooky vaudeville magician than anything from Bram Stoker, but he’s certainly a lot of fun to watch.

CHOICES 15 - 11

15. Christian Camargo, from Penny Dreadful.

After being teased for two seasons, Dracula pops up in the third and final season of “Penny Dreadful” as the main antagonist. In the series, Dracula is depicted as the brother of Lucifer himself, and desires the main character - Vanessa Ives - as his Bride, hoping to use her in a plan to, of course, take over the world. The show was rife with darkly Gothic melodrama, as the title implies, but Camargo’s Dracula subverts this: a subtle, sinister, manipulative villain with a silver tongue, whose understated demeanor belies intense power and menace. A surprising and intriguing interpretation.

14. Frank Langella, from the 1979 Film.

When I did this countdown back in 2021, for the first time, Langella’s Dracula ranked MUCH further down. Having revisited the film since, I sincerely have no idea WHY I maligned the movie, or his Dracula, as much as I did. While not perfect, the movie is much better than I remembered, and his Dracula much more impressive: a suave, slick, sympathetic, but still sinister take on the vampire with all the necessary gravity the role requires. I am pleased to now place him in my Top 15.

13. Jack Palance, from the 1973 Film.

Palance’s Dracula was the first of several kinds: he’s the first Dracula to make a direct connection between the fictional vampire and the real-life Vlad the Impaler. He’s the first to be depicted as overtly romantic, seeking the reincarnation of his long-lost bride. And while he is not necessarily the first to be presented in a sympathetic light, he is the first where that sympathy is highly focused upon, making him into a more tragic figure. While not an obvious casting choice, Palance plays Count Dracula excellently, giving him both the elegance of his noble title and a warrior’s vicious ferocity.

12. Klaus Kinski, from Nosferatu the Vampyre.

As of now, there are three remakes of Nosferatu. One is still upcoming, as I type this, starring Bill Skarsgard as the vampire. Another was finished just a couple of years ago, starring Doug Jones as the Count, but has yet to be publicly released. (Perhaps if/when I see both of those, this whole countdown will change again.) The very first was “Nosferatu the Vampyre,” which featured Klaus Kinski as a more sympathetic, but still grotesque, interpretation of the undead Transylvanian. Kinski’s Dracula isn’t a romantic figure, but instead is depicted a lonely, outcast creature who is driven by urges he cannot control; he doesn’t WANT to be a monster, but he HAS to be, which makes for an interesting interpretation.

11. Willem Dafoe, from Shadow of the Vampire.

This was the other version, along with Count Von Count, who I mentioned technically doesn’t actually count (ha ha) as Dracula. However, under the circumstances, I felt this one was worthy of higher placement. In “Shadow of the Vampire,” Willem Dafoe plays “Schreck” - a real-life vampire who coincidentally shares the same name as the actor Max Schreck, and is thus cast under this pretense in the role of Count Orlok in “Nosferatu.” While the film establishes Dracula/Orlok to be a fictional creation, Dafoe is nevertheless playing that character at the end of the day, given the premise, and he does so brilliantly.

CHOICES 10 - 6

10. Duncan Regehr, from Monster Squad.

In this 1980s cult-classic - a sort of combo of “Ghostbusters” and “The Goonies” - a group of teenaged heroes have to face Dracula and several of the other Universal Monsters, when the villains plan to - of course - take over the world. I'm not really sure WHY I love this particular Dracula so much, I just...kind of do. Regehr’s Count is just the right level of over-the-top in the film. Much like Nic Cage and Richard Roxburgh, he’s hammy, yet still manages to have menace and power, and is quite the snazzy dresser to boot!

9. Louis Jourdan, from the 1977 BBC TV Film.

Aside from his role as Dracula in this 1970s BBC production, Jourdan is probably most famous for playing the main villain of the James Bond movie “Octopussy.” So, if you ever wondered what Dracula would be like as a Bond Villain, you’ll basically get it here. Jourdan is debonair, dashing, and deviously devilish, with a coldness and an unsettling calmness that even some of the best Draculas lack.

8. David Suchet, from the 2006 BBC Radio Production.

As usual, not pictured here in costume, because this is a radio version…but I’ll safely say, in this image, one could almost believe it. ANYWAY, Suchet played both Dracula and Van Helsing within the same year, both times for the BBC. In a TV film adaptation he played the vampire hunter, while in this radio version he takes the role of the Count. This is probably one of the most book-accurate takes on Dracula I’ve ever encountered, audio-based or not. Suchet’s work is often overshadowed by Tom Hiddleston’s appearance as Jonathan Harker in this audio play; he’s definitely worthy of more praise.

7. Peter Stormare, from The Batman vs. Dracula.

Inspired by (though not directly based upon) the “Batman & Dracula” Trilogy of graphic novels, this film (set in the universe of the early 2000s animated series “The Batman”) reveals that, after being destroyed by Van Helsing and his allies, Dracula’s remains were shipped off to America, and wound up buried in the middle of Gotham City. When he’s accidentally resurrected by Penguin, Dracula begins a reign of terror, transforming various characters - including the Joker himself - into “Lost Ones”: ghoulish vampires under his command, as he plans to take over the entire city. Interestingly, Stormare would later appear as a totally different vampire, subservient to Dracula, in Netflix’s “Castlevania” animated series. It was weird to see Dracula chewing himself out there, let me tell you…

6. Gary Oldman, from the 1992 Film.

Oldman is to many people nowadays what performers like Christopher Lee and Bela Lugosi were to many audiences of yesteryear: I don’t think any version of Dracula SINCE Oldman’s has been quite as influential and almost universally enjoyed as his. While I do enjoy his performance, and the movie in general, I can’t say it’s one of the first versions that comes to my mind when I think of Dracula, so I therefore don’t feel I can rank this one in my Top 5. Sorry, Lord Shen.

THE TOP FIVE

5. Max Schreck, from Nosferatu.

Often imitated, but never duplicated. The true “OG” Dracula. There’s really not much to say about “Count Orlok” from this silent classic: it’s one of the most iconic and influential versions of the character ever put to the screen, and almost stands in a league of its own. While the silent film itself has some elements that haven’t aged all that well (the movie IS over a full century old now, no joke), Schreck’s work as this repulsive spook is still more than laudable.

4. Alucard, from Hellsing.

I used to say Alucard was one of my Top 3 takes on Dracula, but upon revisitation, I no longer think that’s fair: I just don’t quote him, reference him, or generally think about him as often as the three I’ve placed above him in the ranks. I will, however, still contend that he is one of the scariest versions of the character out there (which is especially impressive, since he’s the main “hero” of this series), and in my opinion the single most unique Dracula of the whole lot: it’s hard to think of a version that does everything this one does, and yet STILL feels like Dracula at the end of the day. Kudos to his voice actors: Jouji Nakata in Japan, and ESPECIALLY Crispin Freeman in English dubs.

3. The Version from Castlevania.

There are no less than three separate continuities for the Castlevania series, and Dracula is a constant figure in all of them…and in all of them, he’s pretty awesome. The “Classic” era, as I like to call it, has evolved over the years, and Dracula with it: starting off as a straightforward villain but gaining more layers and complexities (perhaps a few TOO many complexities, one could argue) as the series went on. Interestingly, Crispin Freeman - Alucard, our previous pick - somewhat recently got to play this version of Dracula in remastered versions of the games “Rondo of Blood” and “Symphony of the Night,” as well as the game “Dracula X Chronicles.” In the “Lords of Shadow” reboot trilogy, Dracula is reimagined as an anti-heroic protagonist, voiced by Rumpelstiltskin himself, Robert Carlyle. My personal favorite version of him was the Animated Series, voiced by Graham McTavish…who, incidentally, appeared in the aforementioned TMNT “Universal Monsters” story arc, playing the demon Savanti Romero. I’m a huge fan of Castlevania and its take on Dracula, and I reference these games and this take on the Count pretty frequently: it didn’t take long for me to realize this version earned placement in my Top 3.

2. Bela Lugosi, from the 1931 Film and Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein.

Lugosi may seem somewhat “hokey” by today’s standards, but there’s no denying that he is almost inarguably the most iconic version of Dracula: anytime someone does a Dracula impression, or a Dracula parody, or dresses in a Dracula Halloween costume, it’s Lugosi they pay homage to before all others. It’s fair to say that no other Dracula is quite as recognizable, even if you haven’t seen either of his appearances onscreen, and for that reason above all others, he earns high marks for me.

1. Christopher Lee, from Various.

I could go into great detail about everything I love about Christopher Lee’s Dracula, because there’s a LOT I could say, but I’m gonna make this as short and as sweet as I can: in my opinion, Lee is the DEFINITIVE Dracula. Considering the fact he played the Prince of Darkness anywhere between ten and fourteen times, depending on how you count, with one of those occasions being (so far) the ONLY Dracula in film to resemble the character Stoker describes in the novel almost identically…yeah. I think it’s hard to argue AGAINST that fact, personally, whether he’s one’s favorite or not. Given the man’s…COMPLICATED relationship with the role, I doubt he’d necessarily be happy to hear it…but Christopher Lee is, nevertheless, My Favorite Dracula.

5 notes · View notes

kylesvariouslistsandstuff · 6 months

Text

EIGHT CRAZY NIGHTS is such a confounding movie.

I recently watched a batch of deleted scenes, of which I wasn't aware of until rather recently. I had once listened to its director, Seth Kearsley, talk about the picture on a podcast as well. Fascinating stuff all around about its production, and all the ins and outs, how they went about their decision-making, etc. Seemed like it was a fun movie for many of its crew to work on, and they seemed to be treated well too. RARE for an animated movie of this caliber, it seems.

youtube

It has gone down, almost notoriously, as being considered one of the "worst" animated movies ever...

Weirdly, when I was 11 years old, I was lowkey OBSESSED with this movie. I didn't even know it existed until it was out on DVD, and when I watched the whole thing through, I was hooked for some reason. Maybe it was because it was, at the time, a good-sized 2D animated feature that wasn't set in the past, a fantasy world, a sci-fi setting, or anything like that. EIGHT CRAZY NIGHTS wasn't IRON GIANT nor EL DORADO nor SPIRIT nor TITAN A.E. nor TREASURE PLANET... It wasn't like LILO & STITCH from the same year either, which is also a contemporary story, but that has aliens in it! And was family-friendly. This was set in the present, it was more for adults, it was just people being people with *some* cartoony elements (such as cute anthropomorphic deer and some of the exaggerated, if not demeaning character designs), it was even really semi-realistically gross in some parts (and not in the sort of, say, exaggerated REN & STIMPY way), it could've easily been a live-action Happy Madison production. But it wasn't. Many of the movie's detractors feel it should've just been done in live-action.

The movie is inspired by the Whitey character from one of Adam Sandler's comedy albums, and sometimes I feel the movie could've worked better with him as the main character and Davey a complex deuteragonist. Going through the deleted scenes, you could tell the crew went through a few ideas of just how far they wanted to push the exaggerated, cartoony stuff. What kind of jokes they thought could work or that they could get away with, etc. Certainly a cartoonish decapitation of a kid, and a monkey that explodes into a gory mess would've easily landed this thing an R rating, but they weren't going for that ultimately. You have this weird mix of a very dark and often mean movie, but it's also PG-13 and it doesn't go too far so it's more accessible to kids and still fits the bill of being a "warm holiday special" kind of movie. I do gotta give props to the filmmakers for wanting to make a big, mainstream Hanukkah movie in a sea of gazillions of Christmas movies, no matter the end result.

And yet... It worked on this fellow when they were 11 years old, so Sandler, Kearsley and his crew must've done something right! I can quote most of this, that's how obsessed I was with this movie circa December 2003-January 2004. With holiday money or something, I literally bought the VHS of it. We had it on DVD as well, but I bought a VHS for myself because back then, I did not have a DVD player in my room... So, a tape it was. It came with the live-action short A DAY WITH THE MEATBALL, starring Adam Sandler's bulldog at the time, much like the DVD.

So yeah, I find it a fascinating movie to this day, not because of its battlefield of tones (life itself is tonally uneven, too) or some of its truly strange sequences such as the one where the product placement all comes to life in the mall, but because of its history and also... The visuals are quite nice. IRON GIANT animation team involved (the boy Benjamin kinda reminded me of Hogarth anyways, of course I made the connection at a young age), and even the songs I find amusing. They got Alison Krauss to sing on at least one of them, so that's a plus. Some of the eleventh hour rushed stuff, such as the declining animation quality on the townspeople during the Bum Biddy bit, is fun to spot too. And I do overall like the premise of this movie; a relentlessly kind man who is overlooked by his community Odd Couple-ing with a total asshole who had a tragic childhood, in a sort of blah and miserable blue-collar town setting, some heavy stuff that this movie that - with more tact and less poopy jokes - could've really handled well.

I hate the term "guilty pleasure", but this could possibly be that for me. That's what I like about "bad" animated movies of the '90s and early '00s, there's usually something very interesting going on in it, whether it's through the seemingly-confused storytelling or the idiosyncratic choices in the visuals. I think with a slew of cheap live-action movies, those are indeed efforts at the end of the day, but with an animated movie... There's a lot more to it, and that it's a miracle one of these things even gets finished, let alone released. In live-action, it's just they shot a bit and did some post... With an animated film like this, a lot happens along the way, no matter the end product. It's easy to say "it's all negated by the script", but I think it's more complex than that... And that's part of what I find appealing about EIGHT CRAZY NIGHTS to this day.

#Youtube

2 notes · View notes

justinmoviereviews · 1 year

Text

The class of 2022 cont.

Hustle - Jeremiah Zagar

So Michael Bay has a recognizable authorial style, and turns out so does the Happy Madison team. Here are some qualities of a basic Adam Sandler movie--the main character at the center is beloved, the jokes are aimed at someone else’s expense but are mostly harmless, the villain gets punished in a silly way, and the hero wins. Hustle is essentially an Adam Sandler movie, but the heat is turned down to a cool temp suitable for adults, and it largely works. Even more than the basketball, which made me want to sign up for League Pass, the best part is the man himself. In a lot of his worst movies the Sandman is playing the pinnacle of his version of cool and living in a universe in which everyone agrees. Here he’s traded that for a world weariness and a self deprecation that fits his age and stage of life. I credit this to the Safdies.

The Invitation - Jessica M. Thompson

Just easily the dumbest movie of the year, which honestly is heartwarming in an era when most movies feel like competently made assembly-line product. Naming the type of movie this is would be a spoiler, but suffice to say the twist actually makes this bad flick even worse. The dialogue is harder to sit through than any of the scary stuff. Watch it with six beers and have a great time.

The Eternal Daughter - Joanna Hogg

First off, this film looks like it was made in the 1970s. It’s not just the granular camera, its the way the soundtrack presents itself and the way its shot, with closeups and zoom ins on characters to emphasize certain moments. There are, I think, five actors in this movie, playing six characters, and two are only in it for a couple minutes. It’s very quiet and not much happens. The director lets the eerie and genuinely anachronistic tone she’s come up with linger for minutes at a time on scenes of Tilda Swinton staring at a mirror or typing on a laptop or talking on the phone or walking her dog, which is probably the main reason to cast Tilda Swinton. Nobody in Hollywood has a more interesting face or can hold the camera while doing nothing quite like her. There are ideas about memory and daughterhood sprinkled throughout, and the house-turned-hotel is at least a little bit haunted, but the main idea doesn’t come through until the end, and that’s when everything you just watched clicks into place. I’m so happy I’ve been keyed into Joanna Hogg. This is better than most movies I’ve seen lately.

Crimes of the Future - David Cronenberg

How in the hell did he get $27 million dollars to make this? I don’t know how much love Neon thinks David Cronenberg conjures, but I read it made about $4.5 million globally and that actually sounds like a win. I really like the way Cronenberg makes movies. The stakes in this are low, there’s not much by way of inciting incident or plot. He sets up a weird world and has people interact with each other in a way that feels surprisingly safe and warm, like they’re all from the same tribe, and then creates a behind-the-scenes menace that keeps the story on edge. This movie looks decrepit and colorless in a way that suggests a fallen society, and the overt body horror stuff is, I guess a high point for people who like that kind of thing. The characters know more about the world than the viewer ever does. All that said, I was slightly disappointed in this. I think the idea is that some time in the near future humans are evolving into the next stage of development in what is otherwise a static and decayed society, but I never found this particularly clear or got into it enough to roll with it. Its a great three-quarters of a genuinely new piece of world building, but, in my opinion, it never gets all the way there.

The Wonder - Sebastian Lelio

A weirdly grody, unpretty movie. It’s shot in houses that look molded out of blobby green clay and Irish countryside that looks like arid purple coral. This has to be a choice, and I think a better movie could have brought out the inner mechanics of a small Irish town decimated by famine in the 1860s and coping with it in ways that are overtly harmful and seeded in a hermetic and impenetrable culture. Instead its more of an outsider’s takedown of a small, sad community given over to Catholic beliefs the movie outright states are false superstitions. The voice of reason is a British character, which feels particularly mean given how present the Potato Famine is to the story. Oh wow, I think I just talked myself into hating this.

Blonde - Andrew Dominik

Once upon a time a director took a giant shit on the floor and then looked you in the eye and said “I bet you can’t deal with this!” The main character has no agency or personality or history, is dragged through sequence after sequence of gratuitous torture that is simpleminded beyond any plausible biography of Marylin Monroe, while the film congratulates itself for its own truth-telling like it just solved 21st century artistic mediocrity and also world hunger. It’s as factually unreliable as Elvis and a hundred times more proud of itself. This might be the worst movie I’ve ever seen.

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story - Eric Appel

A couple of jokes I really like here: Young Al Yankovic sneaking out of his parents’ house to a polka party, Dr. Demento hosting a Jack Horner-style poolside hangout where the vice of choice seems to be PG-rated jokes, the third act veering into a completely different movie just because it would be fun to do and because Walk Hard didn’t think of it. Here we have the Weird Al aesthetic converted quite naturally to film; it’s basically a Funny or Die sketch spread to movie length, but the tone--knowingly silly, not really mocking anyone, a little violent, earnestly weird in the way a child could love--is the type of Al shit you’ll recognize immediately if you grew up a fan. Another thing I thought is that I can’t even name the last time a big broad comedy like this came out. This movie is stuffed to capacity full of non-Apatow troupe comic actors--Patton Oswalt, Conan O’Brien, Jack Black, Will Forte, Rainn Wilson, Demetri Martin, I could keep going--and I realized those people have been showing up a lot less lately because no one is making movies for them anymore.

The Cathedral - Ricky D’Ambrose

A very impressionistic, sort of fascinating movie about a family of mediocrities with a certain amount of and relationship to money. The camera and by the extension the story lingers on the most ordinary parts of life--a 40+ second scene of a guy removing painter’s tape from a wall is a representative sample shot--to make the whole business of life seem boring and mundane, like the story of a single family as told by a blurb in a history textbook. Essentially this is a movie about a failure and the son he raised, who will turn out in some way that hasn’t been written yet (presumably he goes on to make this movie). There’s a chilling inter-family feud somewhere in here, but mostly these people are regular, and small, and ultimately unlovable. It’s one of the more interesting films I’ve watched from this year, and the only reason I don’t rate it higher is because I’m not sure how much of the static impressionism was dictated by its budget, which couldn’t have been higher than mid-six figures. I can’t tell if some of the ideas are choices or limitations.

Aftersun - Charlotte Wells

Wow. What a sad, beautiful movie. A dad and his preteen daughter take a resort vacation in Turkey that neither of them want to end. Paul Mescal--unknown to me before this--is sad and soulful without ever really explaining anything about himself. I don’t have much more to say. This isn’t one I want to dig into. I just loved it.

Causeway - Lila Neugebauer

A perfectly nice movie about two people treading water above something dark and difficult under the surface who find each other and help each other, maybe forever. Brian Tyree Henry really is a good actor and sort of steals this from the one time world conquering star. More movies should take place in New Orleans, a photogenic and objectively amazing city.

Sick - John Hyams

I choose to believe this is a movie about how the mask scolds were the biggest monsters of all.

Decision to Leave - Park Chan-wook

Headless voice recordings, images and language looping around and over each other, shots that serve as wordless exposition, visual and audio ideas that expand the story and explore its ideas. This is the best directed movie of the year. Imagine how good Bardo would be if Inarritu had Chan-wook’s facility with cinematic storytelling. Plenty of movies are competently made. Some even expertly so. But it’s a rare thing to see something so creatively inspired. Every decision he makes is not only interesting in its own right, but serves the final product. It doesn’t even really matter what the story is. I don’t know who else you could really say that about. Add another director to the canon.

The Batman - Matt Reeves

The only thing the young left hates more than grievous white men is conservative cops, so how many more reboots before they make Batman the villain? Why do we keep rebooting this movie? You had a good idea last time, man.

Happening - Audrey Diwan

I hate to compare the two most overtly feminist films of the year, but I see a lot of overlap between this and Women Talking. Both focus on dealing with the immediate issue in front of them rather than getting polemic about how shitty everything is (Blonde, easily the worst movie of 2022, prostrates on the ground to show you how much it hates the sins of men, while these two movies just solve their problems.) Happening doesn’t lose sight for one second about what its about--the main character never stops to reconsider her options, doesn’t waiver from her mission for even a single minute. It kind of diminishes the movie’s effect as a movie, but it’s a strong and effective way to make its own political point, which is, I think: The system was not built for us, let’s deal with that the way we have to.

Living - Oliver Hermanus

Bill Nighy taps into the high class you assume comes as naturally to him as charm does to Matt Damon, but he’s more reserved and sublimated here than you’d expect. The same is true of the movie, which is smaller and grimmer than its title or plot description suggests it will be. Rather than go on a quest for the meaning of happiness, a lifelong bureaucrat who’s life’s ambition was to be a part of the genteel British background takes a look at life and decides the best thing he can do with his short time left on earth is his job, because the ship has sailed on everything else. The camerawork and score are a little fussy--it is mid-century England--but its a surprisingly good looking film.

Smile - Parker Finn

This could have and should have been better, but plotwise he sticks to a script--this is basically the Ring--the thematic stuff is Horror Movie plug-in shit, and its not that scary. There’s a scene where the demon that’s haunting the lead appears in her house and physically corners her against the wall, and then the movie cuts away to the next day. What the fuck is that?! We paid to see the goods!

Stars at Noon - Clair Denis

There’s a richness here most movies don’t possess. This was an interesting one, and I’m not sure I got everything, but I have some takes. Like a lot of 2022 movies, Covid is a presence here, but the way characters take on and off their masks feels methodical. The movie has a breezy cool that reminded me of Soderbergh. The soundtrack is loose and jazzy, its naturalistic and unmannered, and it finds details and stories everywhere. A scene where a group of boaters is casually murdered and robbed by bandits is shot and then forgotten--just one of the hundreds of bizarre little things she comes across. The setting is Nicaragua’s turbulent political situation, which is responsible for the overriding sense of danger and is the locus at the center that dictates every decision the characters make. My only problem with this movie is that the love story at its center is the least interesting thing about it. The two leads never really seem to find any reason to care about each other, and while Margaret Qualley of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood fame is doing something genuinely interesting--she flits and floats around in rock bottom without any inhibition at all--their scenes together never really cohere. Except one. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention there is one scene between them that works quite well.

Petit Maman - Celine Sciamma

Double bill this with Aftersun. Where that movie was about the impossibility of connecting with your parents at their level, this one is a fantasy about what would happen if you actually could. At a cool 73 minutes it’s so slight it threatens to blow away in the wind, but it’s sweet and tender. I was going to call it delicate, but it’s actually pretty hardy, the way most kids actually are.

Benediction - Terence Davies

The positives: the screenplay. Some of the best dialogue of the year. One thing I’m a very big fan of is directors using the tools of their medium to try to reflect the abstract brilliance of great work in other mediums. This doesn’t exactly do this--cinematically it tops out at Sassoon reciting his poems over photos of WWI battles--but its a movie about a writer trying to hunt out language’s absolute truth told using absolutely some of the sharpest and most direct dialogue you’ll find in a film. Jack Lowden is phenomenal as the lead--serious and direct and intelligent and sincere. This movie should have gotten no brainer Best Actor and Best Screenplay nominations that my mom rooted for except this type of Cradle to Grave Great Difficult Man biopic seems to be a few years past its prime in an Oscar era when the runaway favorite is the racoon in the chef’s hat movie. This is clearer and more direct than all but the very best of its kind. When the main character is curdled and vicious at the end of his life, you know exactly why, rather than it looking like the blurred strains of a movie filling in it’s subject’s final Wikipedia section, like most of these do. The negative is that the second half is slow as hell. This is a good movie, maybe a great movie, but it’s not for me at all.

Saint Omer - Alice Diop

Add my name to the ring of people who took issue with the framing device. The story here is true crime event where a detached and isolated African immigrant in France has an affair with an older white man and then murders the child they conceive. It’s a stranger than fiction tale that would warrant its own New Yorker issue, with the moral that people are weird and life is murky and huge. But I guess the powers that be didn’t think this was enough of a film, or maybe it just wasn’t the story Alice Diop wanted to tell, so the movie hangs its central plot around another story about a pregnant African journalist who’s observing the trial and scared of how much she finds herself relating to the defendant. The movie does as well as it can merging these two stories, and comes up with some pretty interesting ideas, but it never fully feels like it isn’t something tacked on--it never feels organic. Even so, I liked this a lot. Its simple to the point of feeling like docufiction, but in doing so lets the story and its characters get deep. It doesn’t judge or make statements at all, and it’s got great colors--yellows and tans and blues.

Armageddon Time - James Gray

This seems, to me, to be James Gray using facts of his biography to tell a story about how different tribes in America play the various hands they’re dealt to try to achieve whatever their version of survival or success is. If plenty of other movies have looked at the same theme, only Widows, a personal favorite, comes to mind as doing it as well. They say the more personal you make something the more universal it becomes, and while I’m not sure how specific this movie is to its creator’s life, it gets at so many sociological truths without ever feeling like more than a personal memory. The family at the center has achieved enough comfort to begin to look outside of itself, but lives, or at least thinks it lives, in a precarious peace that can be taken away at any moment, which colors every decision it makes. A scene at the end where Jeremy Strong’s tough loving father tells his son the ugly truth about what the point of it all is is one of the better scenes of the year. I was not prepared for this movie to be as good as it was.

0 notes

hardterri · 2 years

Text

Lights out with david spade

#LIGHTS OUT WITH DAVID SPADE MOVIE#

#LIGHTS OUT WITH DAVID SPADE OFFLINE#

#LIGHTS OUT WITH DAVID SPADE SERIES#

#LIGHTS OUT WITH DAVID SPADE TV#

#LIGHTS OUT WITH DAVID SPADE SERIES#

The ever-prolific comedian is next set to appear in an untitled comedy series for HBO, with the Diablo Cody created show focusing on Spade's Calvin Walsh, a recovering addict and grunge rocker.

#LIGHTS OUT WITH DAVID SPADE MOVIE#

The most recent David Spade Netflix movie outing was The Wrong Missy, which was a huge success on the platform despite receiving some harsh reviews. There haven't been any recent updates on Lights Out With David Spade being picked up for another season, however. Following news of the cancelation, there was hope Lights Out With David Spade could live on elsewhere, as Comedy Central shopped it around and other platforms expressed interest in picking it up. The news soon came in April that Lights Out wouldn't be coming back into production, which may have been down to the show only managing to retain about half of The Daily Show's viewers. Every episode of Lights Out with David Spade ever, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show.

#LIGHTS OUT WITH DAVID SPADE TV#

Lights Out With David Spade received good reviews during its run, but like most late-night TV shows, Comedy Central paused production in March 2020 due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Both David Spade and Comedy Central wanted to focus to place much less of a focus on political discussions and create a lighter comedy series. Lights Out debuted in July 2019, with the format seeing Spade talk with a revolving trio of celebrity guests and comedians, including the likes of Bill Hader, Chelsea Peretti and Whitney Cummings. Comedy Central placed the series after The Daily Show, which has historically been a tricky spot for other shows to thrive in. It was probably inevitable he would end up with his own chat show, which finally arrived in the form of Lights Out With David Spade in 2019. Related: The Wrong Missy Cast Guide: Every Cameo In The Netflix Movie He's also a regular fixture on TV, with David Spade sitcoms including Just Shoot Me and Rules Of Engagement, which both lasted for seven seasons. David Spade interviews Deadmau5 for the coveted position of Lights Out Houseband. Kings arena a block of cocaine floating near the beach in South Carolina, the perks of bringing your phone to bed and Brad and Angelinas divorce. Subjects include: the Taylor Swift banner at the L.A. Spade regularly appears alongside fellow SNL alum Adam Sandler too, including Grown-Ups and 2016's The Do-Over. On the panel are Elanor Kerrigan, Adam Ray and Brad Williams. so far, no word back.Other David Spade movies include Joe Dirt, The Emperor's New Groove and the Grown-Ups movies. The suit claims by providing valet service the company was encouraging employees to drive to and from the party. David Spade interviews Deadmau5 for the coveted position of Lights Out Houseband. Lights Out With David Spade, which halted production last month due to the coronavirus pandemic, will not return to Comedy Central, Variety has learned. King's arena a block of cocaine floating near the beach in South Carolina, the perks of bringing your phone to bed and Brad and Angelina's divorce. September 10, 2019, 4:57 PM The production company behind 'Lights Out With David' is being sued after they wee accused of providing alcohol to an employee, who left the shows premiere and killed. Gralitzer was arrested and booked for gross vehicular manslaughter while driving under the influence.Īccording to the lawsuit filed by Benardout's estate, Viacom is responsible because it had authority over Gralitzer and could have stopped him from excessively drinking and driving. On the panel are Elanor Kerrigan, Adam Ray and Brad Williams. The suit claims Gralitzer was driving on Melrose at excessive speeds and ran into another car which careened onto the sidewalk, striking and killing 24-year-old Noah Benardout. Spades comedic style, in both his stand-up material and acting roles, relies heavily on sarcasm and self-deprecation. The suit characterizes Gralitzer as "severely intoxicated." It says he got drunk "with the permission and knowledge of one or more of his supervisors at Viacom."Īccording to the lawsuit, Gralitzer went to the valet, provided by Viacom, and the valet gave him the keys and he drove away. Spade hosted a late-night talk show Lights Out with David Spade, which premiered on July 29, 2019. The suit claims Jacob Gralitzer, who worked on the show, got drunk at the party and no one stopped him from driving.

#LIGHTS OUT WITH DAVID SPADE OFFLINE#

Download to watch offline and even view it on a big screen using Chromecast. Viacom was hosting the party at Nightingale Plaza nightclub in WeHo back in August, celebrating the premiere of "Lights out with David Spade." Buy Lights Out with David Spade: Season 1 on Google Play, then watch on your PC, Android, or iOS devices. Here's what happened, according to a new lawsuit. The company that owns Comedy Central, which produces David Spade's new late-night show, is being sued after one of the staffers allegedly left the launch party drunk, and killed a pedestrian.

#Lights out with david spade

0 notes

smokeybrandreviews · 4 years

Text

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Ampersand

I remember hearing whispers of an Andy Samberg feature that was supposed to drop this year sometime. It wasn’t a proper Lonely Island production but i was still pretty interested. I like Samberg’s sense of humor and the concept of this particular movie seemed very interesting to me. It was called Palm Springs and was getting a ton of buzz on the festival circuit but hadn’t secured a distributor yet. And then the Wuha got us all in check and theater going in 2020 flew right out of the window. All of the tent pole blockbusters keep getting moved back so i was wildly concerned for my smaller, smarter, fair for sure. Films like The Green Knight have all but disappeared with no real word on where or when they’ll get released. I was afraid Palm Springs met the same fate but, to my surprised, Hulu came through with the bag and dropped it a few days ago. After much debate, i opted to re-up with Disney- and check this thing out for myself.

The Great

Andy Samberg is excellent as Nyles. He reminds me a lot of Adam Sandler’s Barry Egan from Punch Drunk Love, but far more subdued, less overtly angry, and way more passive aggressive. There is a nuance to this character that Samberg rarely gets to display and it was joy watching him perform.

Cristin Milioti is actually one of my favorite actresses and i rarely get to see her in stuff that allows her to do more but her Sarah is great. I was a little surprised when she popped up in Mother, i kind of hate that show, but she was still excellent, even if the material was the worst. Sarah gave Milioti a chance to really flex her range and, like Samberg’s performance, i was absolutely enthralled.

The chemistry between Samberg and Milioti is palpable. These two are captured in a quiet tragedy and their bonding through coping is wonderful to see. If the two leads didn’t nail that aspect, this movie would flounder like a fish out of water. That does not happen. These Samberg and Milioti are exquisite together.

J.K. Simmons comes through and blesses us with another ridiculous, scene stealing performance as Roy. Holy sh*t, this guy is awesome. I don’t want to get too much into the character but, suffice it to say, he’s exceptional and Simmons plays him exceptionally.

The Better

I love the direction in this film. To get so much out of these actors and construct such a legitimately petty film, is a real feat. Max Barbakow did an amazing job, which is surprising, because he’s more a writer than an actual director. Dude has a few credits under his name for

The writing in this thing is some of the best I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Time loop films are hard to get right but this one nails it. I’ve only ever seen it so deftly executed in, like Groundhog Day or Primer. More than that, the dialogue in this movie is outstanding. The sh*t that comes out of people’s mouths feels real and it’s all wildly hilarious.

This film is gorgeous. Not in the sense of, say, Blade Runner 2049 or Samsara, but the shot composition is beautiful. The way scenes are framed give this story a weirdly aggressive yet subtle energy and i love it. Quyen Tran did a wonderful job, weaving all of these gorgeous, desert vistas and hilariously quaint retiree architecture of Palm Springs, into the film.

The Good

This cast is kind of amazing. I already spoke out on the exceptional awesome of Samberg, Milioti, and Simmons but there are a ton of dope performances in this thing. I love seeing Camila Mendes and Tyler Hoechlin in other stuff that’s not CW fodder. Meredith Hagner outside of Search Party is a delight. They’re not large roles but its enough to see them outside of their fodder shows. Actually, Search Party is dope. You should watch more of that.

The Verdict

I love this movie. It’s so f*cking charming and adorable. It’s like watching Hot Rod but, like, if it was a thirty-year-old instead of the early Twenty-something that it really is. That doesn’t make sense unless you’ve seen Hot Rod, which you totally should, but there’s this ridiculous, hilarious, chaotic energy that just saturates everything about that movie. Palm Springs has that same energy, but mature. This is a Millennial captured on film and, as a Millennial, i appreciate all of that. It’s briskly paced, deftly performed, expertly directed, and shot beautifully. This thin is an hour and a half of pure delight and i absolutely understand why everyone loves this film. Highly recommend a watch.

#Smokey brand Movie Reviews #Palm Springs

19 notes · View notes

jo2uke-himboshikata · 3 years

Text

Five of the worst movies I've seen

5. Ratatoing

Ratatoing is a well-known one but it really deserves a place in this list. People think of it as a so-bad-it's-good thing but it's really not. There's no story. It looks like a shitty ps2 game, at best. There's a gearing-up montage sequence, but they're in an empty white void and they're all t-posing. It's the laziest thing I've ever seen and it is so so so boring and annoying.

4. The Thinning (and sequel)

The Thinning starring Logan Paul featuring very special guest Stacey Dash. I got the youtube red free trial to watch this. I wasn't aware of this at first, but turns out that the analogy being made is anti-abortion. Overall it is very very fascist. There is actually a sequel called 'the thinning: new world order" which moves away from the pro life thing a bit, and towards making some vague hamfisted statement about political campaigns and corruption. It was insulting to watch.

3. In-app-propriate comedy

Ben mentioned this one to me recently as I had forgotten about it. Truly a spectacle to behold. A comedy sketch anthology created by Vince Offer, the shamwow guy, after he got arrested for beating up an escort. He wrote and directed along with his friend Ari Schaffir, who plays his character "the amazing racist" who does "on the street" bits where he does incredibly racist shit, offering black people "boat trips back to africa" as they walk by, accosting jewish people in the supermarket asking them to sign a petition to apologize for killing jesus, stuff like that. He almost got his ass beat for the boat trips thing. The crazy thing is that Vince Offer is israeli american and Ari Schaffir's dad is a holocaust survivor. But they're both Joe Rogan orbiters. Also, oscar winning actor adrian brodey is in it. Funnily enough, the movie he won best actor for, the pianist, was also about a holocaust survivor. Life works in mysterious ways huh.

2. Adam Sandler (non-specific)

I'm trying really hard to pick an adam sandler movie for this list because I've seen a lot of them, but they aren't really all as bad as you'd expect. Some are funny-bad and some are boring, lazy, shameless, and pathetic bad. The latter are what we're talking about here. Some have actual plots and redeeming qualities, and some are just totally soulless. Jack and Jill, Blended, and Grown Ups spring to mind. Grown ups is probably the worst of those for me because it's just him and the frat pack on vacation with their families with some KFC product placement. There is NOTHING going on in that movie, just some fat shaming, racist asian stereotypes (there's a lot of that specifically in sandler movies, dunno why)

Conversely, I now pronounce you chuck and larry was pretty bad but in a much more fun way. It was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. In between the horrible racist and homophobic shit, the whole movie I was thinking "if they just make them kiss at the end this would be a pretty good movie actually" but of course they can't force themselves to kiss their bro on the lips so their cover gets blown, but then for some reason everyone loves them anyway because they had become media darlings for pretending to be openly gay firefighters, and they did so much to stand up for gay rights. Absolutely insulting, but if you pretend they're actually closet bi and slowly falling in love and using the tax break thing as an excuse to sleep together then it's pretty entertaining so I'd have to say that grown ups is worse because the whole time I was watching grown ups I was just wishing I was dead.

1. Last ounce of freedom

This is the angriest I've ever been watching anything. It is by far the most fascist piece of film masquerading as simple family values that I've ever seen. It's about an old retired army general whose son gets killed in duty and he's fraught with conflict because he always encouraged his son to join the army and now his son is dead. He's also a total dick to everyone in his family. To deal with the conflict, he fights against the war on Christmas. Oh yeah he's also the mayor of the town they live in, that's important. He decides he isn't going to let the libs oppress him anymore so he puts up a cross or whatever on city hall and doesn't CARE if everyone attacks him for it. The villain is the ACLU lawyer who comes in and threatens legal action because christmas has to be secular now and good honest christians aren't allowed to speak out. But it isn't like he's just a lowly hardware store owner or something, he's literally THE MAYOR. He's the person in the position of power in the movie and he's whining the whole time about how christians are oppressed. I forget how it ends but I know it made me real angry so I assume he came to terms with getting his son killed and accepted that dying for your country is good actually and his son was brave to do it. And obviously he puts the christ back in Christmas because that was never actually in jeopardy in the first place. This was too real to be funny to me. Makes me think about all the shitheads who watch this and love it and how the things they do and the way they live their lives brings so much harm to those around them and this movie just affirms all of that. It disgusts me. I can't think of anything I'd rather watch less than this movie short of two hours of footage of actual violence.

#film #my stuff

1 note · View note

marredbyoverlength · 4 years

Text

Year-End Awards 2019

2019 was very good for movies. Or, rather, November and December of 2019 were very good for movies. I could speculate about why that is (Awards season? Disney? Moloch?), but I don’t really know. What I do know is that the Oscars are tomorrow, so I better get this post up today.

Honorable mentions in no particular order. Strap in, chumps.

Best Lead Performance: Adam Sandler, Uncut Gems

Sometimes it feels like Adam Sandler is cheating, lowering our expectations with awful performances in even-more-awful films so that his dramatic turns look better by comparison. But whether or not we grade him on a curve, this performance is the best of the year.

Sandler’s character, Howard Ratner, is ridiculous. In fact, much of the movie is ridiculous. But Sandler makes this absurd person human, and in doing so, makes the whole movie work. He commits hard to the role, and even though every scene is a little more unbelievable than the last, I never for a moment stopped believing in Howard. Superb work.

Honorable Mentions: Willem Dafoe, The Lighthouse; Saoirse Ronan, Little Women; Scarlett Johansson, Marriage Story; Adam Driver, Marriage Story; Ana de Armas, Knives Out; Kang-ho Song, Parasite; Jonathan Pryce, The Two Popes.

Best Supporting Performance: The rest of the cast of Uncut Gems

The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that Uncut Gems is a movie that survives entirely on its acting. The Safdie brothers themselves have said that the movie wouldn’t work without Kevin Garnett nailing the scene where he first holds the black opal. I’d extend that credit to all the other supporting roles: Idina Menzel as Howard’s wife who no longer even bats an eye at the insanity he brings on himself, Marshall Greenberg (a non-actor) as the fellow jeweler who expresses genuine concern for Howard but still gives him unfavorable terms on a pawn deal, deranged Garment District legend Wayne Diamond as a character just named “High Roller”—every one of these people is essential to the success of the film. When it comes down to it, Uncut Gems doesn’t make any sense. It takes a suite of perfect performances to make it feel as real as it does.

Honorable Mentions: Timothée Chalamet, Little Women; Laura Dern, Little Women; Florence Pugh, Little Women; Takayuki Hamatsu, One Cut of the Dead; Daniel Craig, Knives Out; Al Pacino, The Irishman.

The Costner Award for Worst Actor: Rebel Wilson, Cats

When we meet Rebel Wilson (as her fursona “Jennyanydots,” a name I will never utter again), she is showing her butthole to the camera. The character never gets more likable than that, because they let Rebel Wilson ad-lib numerous “comedic” lines to punch up the script. They’re awful.

Honorable Mention: James Corden, Cats.

Nicest Surprise: Cold Pursuit

I watch the Liam Neeson stupid action flick with my brother Rob every year. Sometimes we get something legitimately great, like A Walk Among the Tombstones. Other times we get a movie like The Commuter, which is dumb as rocks. But this is the first time we got a comedy. I went in expecting a second-rate Neeson-kills-people thriller, and instead got a solid black comedy. Apparently it’s nearly a shot-for-shot remake of the Norwegian film In Order of Disappearance, so maybe I should have known better. But I didn’t, so I was pleasantly surprised.

Hiddenest Gem: One Cut of the Dead

One Cut of the Dead is the best movie of the year that my friends haven’t seen, and it’s a tough movie to talk about because of how fun it is to watch knowing nothing about it. So I’ll keep it short. One Cut is a Japanese schlock horror movie with a fun twist that manages to be creepy at first, then funny, then heartwarming. Two things elevate this above the usual fun-twist movie. The first is that the surprise unfolds in little pieces over the entire second half of the movie, rather than hitting all at once. The second is that there’s real substance there: under the goofy exterior there’s a charming family story that’s worth coming back for.

Most Insulting Moment: We Hate Sensory Deprivation, Angel Has Fallen

I haven’t seen the other films in the Blank Has Fallen franchise, nor did I need to do so to understand its third installment. It’s exactly the kind of institution-worshipping great-men-of-history support-our-troops action bullshit you’d expect. But after the credits, there’s a totally inexplicable scene where Gerard Butler and his dad Nick Nolte agree to get treatment for their (implied) PTSD. Instead of leaving it as just a nice moment of healing, it cuts to a comedy scene where they go to a two-person sensory-deprivation tank and float around in the dark complaining about it. The general gist of the scene is “sensory deprivation is dumb and gay.” I’m not a sense-dep guy, but it’s used here as a stand-in for all the forms of “modernity” that reactionary filmmakers hate: you know, like mental health treatment, or trying new things, or expressing any sincere vulnerability even for a moment. Why not just show them affectionately kissing guns and save some production cost?

Honorable Mentions: The trailer for A Dog’s Way Home; The narration in Ad Astra.

Winter’s Tale Memorial “What the Hell Am I Watching” Award: Cats

At long last, a film that unites the unholy trinity of ambition, incompetence, and derangement to form a true “What the Hell Am I Watching” award-winner. The premise of Cats, in short, is that the cats of London meet every year to perform a ritual sacrifice of one of their number, believing that the chosen cat will, after their death, be reincarnated…as another London cat. And they determine the sacrifice by holding a talent show. And one of the cats is a warlock. So we’re off to a good start.

I was fortunate enough to see the original version. You see, the film is almost entirely CGI, so much so that viewing it feels like living inside a haunted kaleidoscope. Even the actors, through “digital fur technology,” are turned into cats which are anthropomorphized to greater or lesser degrees. The warlock cat, for example, has cat abs. But shortly after theatrical release, director Tom Hooper realized that the film contained major visual effects oversights, including failing to CGI several of the actors’ hands, meaning that Judi Dench and Ian McKellen appeared to have human arms on cat bodies. These are only some of the crimes of the film Cats. A full reading of the litany would take all day.

Honorable Mentions: A Dog’s Journey; Gemini Man.

Prettiest Movie: 1917

I’d be remiss not to talk about the cinematic achievement of 1917. The all-in-one-take thing, or the appearance thereof, is kind of a used gimmick at this point. (Birdman, after all, used it and won Best Picture.) I went into 1917 expecting a cheap knockoff. Instead I was blown away. Every detail was perfect, down to the mud stains on the extras’ overcoats, the stacking of sandbags in the real dug-out trenches, the bloating of the bodies clogging the waterways. One especially memorable scene follows our hero (George MacKay) sprinting through a ruined city by night, intermittently lit by mortar fire, dodging gunfire all the way. Maybe “pretty” isn’t the right word, but no film this year used the visual medium as well as 1917.

Honorable Mentions: Parasite, Once Upon A Time…in Hollywood.

Best Picture: Under the Silver Lake

Yes, I know it’s weird to give Best Picture to a movie that didn’t even get an honorable mention anywhere else. But this is my blog, dammit, I stand by it. Under the Silver Lake is a movie about capitalist-media-technology-complex-inspired brain poisoning. It stayed on my mind for weeks after seeing it, and I eventually gave it a second watch. It held up.

Criticisms of the film abound, like how male-gazey a lot of the portrayals of women are, but I think the parts that some reviewers identify as flaws are intentional and important features of the movie. We see the film through the eyes of our main character (Andrew Garfield), who is a scumbag, but the film is very clearly not endorsing being a scumbag. It’s about the interplay of personal neuroses and moral failings with the broader perverse clown-reality we all occupy, and the inescapable tinge our perspectives bring to the world we see. The film is, after all, a sort of noir film, and our hero’s attitudes are reflective in some ways of the noir mindset: find the clues, unravel the plot, get the girl. The incongruity between the stories and attitudes of our past and the demented reality of our future define the film.

I could go on about this for much longer, which is why I’m choosing Silver Lake as the best film of the year. It’s not notable for its acting or cinematography (though both are solid), but in terms of content, nothing else this year encapsulated my internal and external world quite so well as this.

Honorable mentions: Parasite; 1917; Little Women; The Irishman; One Cut of the Dead; Marriage Story; Uncut Gems.

That’s it, that’s the post. I think I’m moving to Letterboxd next year.

#2019 #oscars #awards #fervent gushing #one post of the year

4 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

633

If you had a parrot, what would be the first word you would teach it? I’d probably teach it something polite because I’ve noticed all parrot owners almost always teach their birds bad words lmao and it’s not that funny anymore. I wouldn’t be opposed to teaching them some lame slang too, like ‘it’s lit’ haha.

What food have you eaten the most lately? Instant noodles because my mom finally gave in to our requests and started buying packs of our favorite brand again. Some context: it was almost all we ever ate as kids, so she stopped buying it for a while (and rightfully so) because of all the unhealthy stuff that’s in it.

Where you ever a Pokemon fan? I was a huge fan from the ages of 8-10. It started when my cousin got Pokemon games on his Gameboy Advance, and then it spilled over to us watching the anime every night and eventually, I collected the cards and pogs as well. We also bought one of two volumes of the Pokemon Omnibus books that they released.

How would you describe the taste of water? It’s just tasteless to me, but then it tastes so refreshing. I know water isn’t good enough if there’s a certain taste that comes along with it, because it’s supposed to just be tasteless and crisp.

Do you think books are going out of fashion? Not at all. All my friends are into reading, and they never grew out of their bookworminess. Which is honestly great, because I wouldn’t want them to end up like me, who was a big bibliophile as a kid but eventually stopped reading.

One thing you miss about being a kid: Being able to make friends with anybody, whether it be a day-long bond or a friendship for the long run. I know it’s not applicable to all kids, but I’d say I was one of those who was able to blend in at birthday parties or daytrips to water resorts and all that stuff.

What is the best product made from milk? Meh, I’m not the best person to ask about this given that I’m lactose intolerant lololol, but I doooooo love mozzarella and ricotta cheese.

How would you feel if your husband didn’t want to wear a wedding ring? I’d be pretty puzzled if my future spouse wouldn’t want to wear theirs. I’d understand if they removed it for work, but I’d raise eyebrows if they didn’t want to wear it, period.

Do you say Autumn or Fall? My Southeast Asian ass can’t relate to either.

What is your biggest “what if”? I don’t have any, because I make it a point to avoid thinking about them. I’ve heard so many of my friends mull over their what ifs and how miserable they are about them, so I know better than to dwell on mine.

What is the worst movie you have ever seen? I had a go-to answer for this many years ago, but I forgot the name of the movie by now and I’m honestly glad that’s the case. But other than that, one of the all-time worsts is the Jack & Jill movie with Adam Sandler, and a recent bad one (for me) would be Knives Out. Of course, I never liked whodunits and I generally dislike dialogue-y and fast-paced movies, so I’m pretty biased in citing that.

Have you ever spelled your own name wrong? I don’t think so. Mine was the less popular spelling of Robin, so I definitely remembered to spell it properly because everyone else was already misspelling it.

What do you want your wedding song to be? I’ve never given much thought about this. Sparks by Coldplay was one of our og songs, but the most that it is right now is just a mere option.

What is your favorite fairytale? I never liked fairytales.

True/False : If it’s meant to be, it will be. Not always. You have to work for it sometimes, too.

What electronic of yours dies the quickest? My phone, but that’s just because I had to pick and because, to be fair, I use it too much :(((( But I’m okay with the battery lives of all my gadgets.

Do you think we learn some useless things in school? Math and English have been pretty useless to me, but a lot of my other lessons, such as history, economics, physics, etc. still come in handy these days.

Do you feel like your life would be better without a certain person in it? Not really. I’m okay with the people I have now, family and friends alike. I tune out who I choose to tune out, and that’s enough for me.

Who has influenced your music taste the most? Athenna was a huge influence, which I feel bittersweet about now because I had to cut her out of my life a few years ago. She introduced me to Banks, Walk the Moon, and Twnety One Pilots, among other amazing artists. Gab has also been pretty influential – she’s made me a fan of alt-J, BP Valenzuela, Hozier, and a bigger fan of Coldplay.

What did you get your mom for Mother’s Day? We don’t really get her stuff. We greet her and have quality time together.

You go to the restroom and you see a huge spider, what do you do? Try to swat it out of the way.

what’s something you want but will probably never get? A PhD, because I’m too lazy to earn one haha.

Do you like reading scary books? I did enjoy reading my cousin’s Goosebumps as a kid, but I’m not into reading in general these days.

Is there a game your addicted to you? Currently, Luigi’s Mansion 3. <– Yooooo, my sister is OBSESSED with this game and watches playthroughs of it all day. She’s eyeing it as one of the next few games that we’re buying for the Switch.

Do you get embarrassed when your stomach growls in class? No. If anything that lets the teacher or prof know that I’m bored and/or hungry. Plus it’s an easy way to make the class laugh, and that’s always a good thing haha.

Do crying people make you uncomfortable? If it’s happy tears than yeah hahaha. If they’re sad tears I’m usually willing to be a shoulder to cry on. Would you ever marry someone your parents didn’t approve of? It’d be hard, but in the end it’s my relationship and they’d have no say.

Whats one thing you’re completely terrible at? Knitting. Origami. Any art stuff.

what is the nearest thing to you that is red? I’m very close to the wifi thingy that we have up on the rooftop and there’s a small red light coming from it.

what kind of camera do you own? I just use the one in my phone.

Do you look older or younger than your actual age? Younger. I’ve memorized the look of shock on people’s faces whenever I tell them I’m a senior in college.

Do you think tattoos are hot? No, but I don’t mind some tattoos.

What’s the worst thing about being a teenager? The confusion, all the hormones making you cranky all day, the pressure of which course to take for college especially when you’re nowhere near ready to make a choice.

What’s the best thing about being a teenager? It’s a period of experimenting, making strong friendships, and making mistakes and learning from them.

When did you last play Monopoly? I’ve never played Monopoly because I’ve never understood how it works.

Who do you trust with your secrets? My two best friends.

As a child what celebrity did you look up to? Probably Vanessa Hudgens back in her High School Musical days? Idk, she seemed like a good role model at the time.

Do you love food more than you love people? I probably do, haha.

True or False: you this read wrong Yup.

What do you usually do on a Sunday? My family goes to 9 AM mass, then we head out for lunch, go malling for a bit, take my sister back to her dorm in Manila, then we spend the rest of the evening at home.

Have you ever met anyone with the same Birthday as you? Yes.

Do you think underwater pictures look cool? I’ve never liked underwater photos ever since I saw that photo of that vacationing scuba diving couple with the dead girl in the background.

What is the most ridiculous law you ever heard about? Nothing comes to mind right now.

Zelda or Mario? Zelda (or Link, if you’re talking about the dude) story-wise, Mario for playability haha.

#survey #surveys

2 notes · View notes

massmurdera · 4 years

Link

Super fun list/idea I look forward to. I love end-of-year lists and even end of decade lists and checking to see what I missed or completely forgot about.

Some stuff I didn’t like, am lukewarm about. But most is right on and worth checking out.

Glad they added: the Bodega Boys soundboard (Desus and Mero). Some segments on Desus and Mero this year were the funniest things I watched...Ryen Russillo’s ‘Worst Year ever’ segment. Forgot about that one. Relatable.

Things I’d add to the list... Limited series that are really good (in order): When They See Us (particularly Jharrell Jerome’); Unbelievable; Chernobyl; the Loudest Voice; Mrs Fletcher

Late add: ‘Don’t Fuck with Cats: the Hunt for the Internet Cat Killer’ Still need to check out: ‘Fosse/Verdon’; ‘Looking for Alaska’; ‘Good Omens’

Late Night: ‘Desus and Mero’-kind of mentioned with the Bodega Boys soundboard. Some segments were the hardest I’ve laughed this year. Maybe the ad for the South Carolina sheriff was the best moment? And the hilarious game show moment with Jimmy Fallon/Charlize Theron and the Taylor Swift ‘long back’ moment that got them death threats from Swift fans.

Without fail, I introduce anybody to Desus and Mero or even just Mero’s laugh-and they will enjoy it. They are so naturally funny/likable and got great chemistry/riffing.

TV Series: ‘Sex Education’. Some ‘Derry Girls’. Moments: Sydney Sweeney’s boobies on ‘Euphoria’. That show is pretty ridiculous/dumb at times and basically feels like a hysterically paranoid made-up nightmare of what high school is like. But it has good female performances you can’t look away from. The dudes? not so much. Documentaries (no order): ‘the Ted Bundy Tapes’, ‘Finding Neverland’ (Michael Jackson sexual abuse of kids); ‘I Love You Now Die’ (local in Massachusetts with inducing someone to commit suicide case), ‘‘‘the Inventor’ (Theranos) ‘American Factory’; ‘Knocking Down the House’ (AOC)

Enjoyed a lot of these to varying degrees. Heard the Maradona doc was good.

Comedy Specials: -Bill Burr-’Paper Tiger’-favorite stand-up comic. Particularly his bit 54 minutes in. I still think he’s left out his best bits 3 specials in a row now (the anti respecting the troops makes sense as to why he left it out/didn’t land in London and why) -Gary Gulman-’the Great Depresh’-doc didn’t totally work for me, but there’s some great moments from a comic I’ve always liked/didn’t know what he was going through. -Dave Chappelle -got a lot of flack, but it was still funny. -Mike Birbiglia-’the New One’-comic from my town (Shrewsbury MA). He does ready-made Broadway/Off-Broadway one-man acts (not so much comedy specials). He’s not a favorite comic in that I don’t think he’s as naturally or consistently funny as a lot of the guys I like on podcasts; that’s not his forte. But if he has an act, he’ll deliver and usually get better with it. -Anthony Jeselnik-’Fire in the Maternity Ward’ Comedy album -Joe DeRosa-’I Go To Atlanta All the Time’ -may not pop into my head as a favorite comic, but he reliably releases some of my favorite comedy albums.

Podcasts -’the Dollop’: ‘Ronald Reagan part 1 & 2′ with Patton Oswalt. Lot of episodes are hit-or-miss, but when it’s on? It’s damn good/funny/unbelievable. I wish they had a comedy production studios for Dollop movies/TV/shorts.

I listen to an ungodly amount of podcasts, but I can’t think of standout moments/episodes beyond the above one. I think Frotcast will release a Best of the year oepisode soon and it might deliver.

Internet moments -the short/angry Bagel Boss guy losing his shit (and other videos of the guy being a douche) -Megan McCain being dunked on. Probably ‘You were at my wedding denise’ was the highlight but it was never-ending from an all-time dumb person/faildaughter of a shitty politician. You could probably also add other shitty Republicans/conservative thinkers. Getting shit on online and losing the culture wars forever and always is the least/best we can do in these shit times. They will never have that and it irks them no matter how much they say it doesn’t. That’s history and being on the wrong side. SNL -Adam Sandler’s SNL comeback/tribute to Chris Farley. He did it on his really good Netflix comedy special but was more touching here and a genuine moment.

SNL mostly sucks and I hate-watch it. Has a collection of funny people but they fail to do anything with it.

Need to check out: Uncut Gems; Little Women; Star Wars; end of ‘Legion’ (4 episodes behind/wasn't enjoying the last season and a half. The final ‘Mr Robot’. episode on Sunday. 1 episode into ‘the Witcher’ and so far it’s pretty stupid and Henry Cavill’s voice is unintentionally funny. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MY PERSONAL FAVES.... TV: Succession/Fleabag/Watchmen DISAPPOINTING ALL-TIME GREAT END: Game of Thrones GREAT: When They See Us; Unbelievable; Chernobyl VERY GOOD/HIGH HIGHS: Barry; Brockmire; Derry Girls; Euphoria; Pen15; Sex Education FAVORITE SHOWS I LOVE BUT NOT TOTALLY STANDOUT SEASONS: Big Mouth; Rick and Morty; Veep OKAY: Dark; Russian Doll HALF-WATCH/MEH: All-American; Emergence; Jack Ryan; Living With Yourself; the Mandalorian; Stumptown; True Detective; Warrior NOT GOOD BUT I WATCH: Shameless ONCE GREAT NOW MIGHT NEED TO END: GLOW; Killing Eve; Luther; Stranger Things NOT VERY GOOD/ENDED: Big Little Lies; Silicon Valley GAVE UP ON: Riverdale

STILL NEED TO CHECK OUT/CATCH UP BUT ARE GOOD/QUALITY: Bosch; Broad City; Brooklyn 99; Catastrophe; Expanse; Good Place; It’s Always Sunny; Letterkenny; Other Two; Ramy; Schitt’s Creek MOVIE: TOP TIER FAVORITES: 1) Once Upon a Time in Hollywood 2) Uncut Gems SECOND TIER FAVES: 3) Little Women 4) Knives Out 5) Midsommer 6) Parasite 7) Marriage Story THIRD TIER: 8) John Wick III 9) the Irishman 10) Us 11) Shazam! UNDERRATED: 12) Ready or Not

ABSOLUTE FAVORITE DOCS: the two Fyre Festival docs; American Factory SOLID: Breaking Bad: El Camino; Dolemite is My Name; Longshot; the Two Popes OKAY: the Amazing Jonathan; Avengers: Endgame; Spiderman: Far From Home; Fighting With My Family; Hustlers; Knocking Down the House LOW EXPECTATIONS HIGH REWARD BUT TOTALLY DUMB: 6 Underground; Between Two Ferns: the Movie NOT TOTALLY MY THING BUT IMPRESSIVE: Ad Astra; High Flying Bird HALF-WATCH RENTAL: Always Be My Maybe; Good Boys; Hobbes & Shaw; the Report DISAPPOINTING: Toy Story 4; Triple Frontier DIDN’T LIKE/OVERHYPED: Booksmart; the Farewell; Under the Silver Lake BAD: the Laundromat; Let It Snow; Noel

HAVE YET TO SEE: Apollo 11; Art of Self-Defense; Beach Bum; Ford v Ferrari; Honey Boy; It 2; the Lighthouse; Rocketman; the Souvenir; Star Wars; Transit

LIVE SHOW: Brian Fallon at City Winery solo acoustic. Was 75% banter from a dude filled with nerves. Felt like a funny ‘Unplugged’ with pretty sad songs inbetween.

Comics Come Home was good (Robert Kelly; Bill Burr, John Mulaney, Pete Holmes, etc) MUSIC-Menzingers Late Pass: Spanish Love Songs

4 notes · View notes

lesbianfunkykong · 6 years

Note

1-5 spencer, 30-35 david, 20-25 bonnie (these are random numbers so if there's weird questions in there? don't judge me)

Spencer

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?Her full name is Spencer Anne Keller. It doesn’t mean anything specific, just that her mom’s name is Anne and that she liked ‘Spencer’ when she saw it in a baby book. tbh when Spencer was born, the name was kind of the least of her mom’s worries. 2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?lmao nope, she’s a normie. Her highest degree is high school. 3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? She liked her childhood. It wasn’t perfect, but she was never lonely. Her favorite memory was probably the first time her uncle let her build something by herself. She almost sawed her thumb off but she quickly decided that was just part of the process and that she should be proud of it, which her uncle thought was hilarious coming from an eight year old. A bad memory was when she was she was six and swallowed a nail so she had to have open-stomach surgery. 4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? She doesn’t know her dad very well, they’ve met like three times and it’s been pretty uncomfortable every time. Spencer isn’t too worried about keeping him in her life. She and her mom are on better terms but they’ve never been close. They have friendly conversations when they’re together but neither of them make an effort to put each other first. Both memories will be about her mom because of this. A good one is when she was twelve and her mom came to visit for her birthday, which was great because she was nervous the kids she invited to her party would think it was weird that her mom wasn’t there because... A bad memory is her eleventh birthday party when everyone thought it was weird that her mom wasn’t there. :(5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults? Nah she’s an only child. She has two lizards, though. Kanga and Roo.

David

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?David does like musicals, but when choosing between the shitty versions and the good versions, he’ll always think the shitty one is better. His favorite musical is the Madonna version of Evita. He loooooves rap music and thinks he can rap well (he cannot.) When his favorite song comes on, he raps loudly and badly. 21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?It takes a ridiculous amount to get David angry to the point of yelling. He’s very patient, because his way of thinking is always to try and understand where people are coming from, so even if they’re saying some dumb bullshit it’s a challenge for him. When he does lose his temper, which is super rare, he tries to do something productive with it but like, whatever his angry mind thinks is the productive thing to do, which might just be “punch this guy in the mouth it’ll be good” 22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?David doesn’t insult people a lot, tbh. Hardly ever to their faces, and behind their backs mostly in a good humored venting way, but if he’s gonna insult someone it’ll be with a bad impression of them doing the thing that was bugging him. He’d insult people if they’re being openly rude to himself or his friends in a way that’s obviously intentional. 23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?His memory’s probably about average, but he thinks it’s great. (He thinks everything about himself is great.) He’s better with long term memory, and he’s good at both names and faces because he hates it when people forget him so he tries to remember people. 24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?He sleeps until 10am if he can, or 2pm if he was drinking the night before. He snores if he sleeps on his stomach but he never sleeps on his stomach so that’s dine, and he’s still young enough that he doesn’t have a mattress preference but he does want one of those Purple mattresses because he likes the muppets on the adds. 25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?David has the worst sense of humor and I hate him. I know I was just roasting you for watching Adam Sandler so you’re gonna think this is me making a joke about you but no, David loves the shit out of Adam Sandler, he thinks he’s so goddamn funny. He thinks he’s probably funnier, though. David is Not Humble.

Bonnie

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?She doesn’t really work on in the typical way, but the whole demon hunting lifestyle kind of takes care of that for her. She likes wearing her amethyst necklace after that, because it’s a good calming stone. 31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?Bonnie doesn’t drink at all. Conner probably bought them all beer once and Bonnie had one sip and thought it was gross. 32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?She dresses like a hippy got lost in the forest for 50 years and is just now coming back to society. She likes thrifting, not just because her parents are always broke, but she really likes Free People even though she has never actually bought anything from there because damn it’s pricey. To sleep, she wears the footie pajamas Willow and Tara got everyone one year sort of as a joke but mostly because Willow and Tara are cheesy. She doesn’t wear makeup, except sometimes when she and her mom have fun makeover days, but it’s not something she prioritizes and she likes her face how it is. Her hair is always very long and usually braided. 33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?She’s 14 I’m skipping this34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?14, so not getting into specifics, but I don’t think being raised by Cordy would leave room for serious self esteem issues tbh.35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? Her guilty pleasure is probably Taylor Swift? She loves Taylor Swift. But also she doesn’t feel bad about that so that answer is for both.

#wow what a fake friend not catering specific questions...blocked.#ask meme #david #spencer #bonnie #stevenrogors

4 notes · View notes

tilbageidanmark · 3 years

Photo

Movies I watched this week - 22

Ramin Bahrani’s masterpiece Goodbye Solo.

Here is the first scene:

A grumpy old white man gets into a night cab in Winston-Salem, NC and hires the friendly Senegalese driver to take him out to a mountain cliff outside town. Solo, the driver, jokes with him “Why? Are you gonna jump off?” but the old man doesn’t answer, and the smile disappear from the driver’s face...

9/10

✴️

Eighth Grade - A coming of age story of an introverted and awkward 13 year old girl who struggles with anxiety. She lives with her dad whom she locks out even though he’s well-meaning and supportive.

It’s all about social acceptance, screens and self-doubt.

I can see Adora there in a year or two, confused, uncertain about her life and having to come to terms with the “friends” around her.

Real, sad and hard to watch! 7+/10

✴️

Unexpected discovery of the week:

Black honey ( דבש שחור ), A biography of a poet I never heard of, Abraham Sutzkever, who is now regarded as the greatest Yiddish poet of all time, and is even considered by some as the “most important Israeli Poet ever”.

According to the documentary, he led a truly remarkable life, from his birth in Siberia, surviving hell on earth at the Vilna ghetto during World War II and being rescued by an order of Stalin himself, testifying at the first Nuremberg trials, and living in Tel Aviv for over 50 years, practically unknown, because he refused to switch writing his poetry from Yiddish to Hebrew. Astounding!

✴️

2 with Irrfan Khan (who died exactly a year ago):

✳️✳️✳️ In The Lunchbox, an unloved Mumbai wife sends her husband home cooked meals via the local dabbawallas food carrying system, but her Dabba is being delivered by mistake to a lonely, older widower.

“The wrong train can lead you to the right station”

A tender, quiet story about longing and loneliness from first-time director Ritesh Batra (who later directed ‘Our Souls At night’).

- Best film of the week.

This movie caused me to realize something about this film-reviewing project:

Right now I am mostly attracted to simple, earnest and compassionate stories about “real” people with “real” emotions. So many of the films I choose are like that: Wistful and restrained.

✳️✳️✳️ Puzzle (2018) was Irrfan Khan’s final English-language role before his death. It tells a soft and atmospheric story about an undervalued housewife who slowly discovers herself after she receives a 1000 pc. jigsaw puzzle for her birthday. 7/10

✴️

Won’t you be my neighbor? - a kind biography of the inspirational Mr. Rogers, created in 2018, a hateful and terrible year.

✴️

After discovering ‘The Station Agent’ and ‘Win Win’ last week, I went through the rest of Tom McCarty’s films (the only one I couldn’t find is ‘The Visitor’):

✳️✳️✳️ First in line, Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made. I can imagine that this is a perfect film for 12 year olds. A unique boy who refuses to be ‘normal’ runs a detective agency, “Total Failure Inc.”, with an imaginary polar bear partner in wacky Portland, OR. (Photo above)

Surprised to see Craig Robinson as a 100% empathetic school counselor! 9/10

✳️✳️✳️ Re-watch (Fifth time? sixth?...) - Spotlight: Pitch perfect newsroom procedural story of the investigative team at the Boston Globe as they uncovered the massive child sex abuse of the Catholic Church.

10/10

✳️✳️✳️ The Cobbler - I can’t understand why this film was Adam Sandler's biggest box-office flop, or why it got on so many Worst Films Of 2014 lists.

A warm and lovely fairy tale (especially the first half) about a shoe maker ( סַנדְלָר ) who learn to "Live in someone else's shoes". 5+

✳️✳️✳️ Pixar’s UP - With a story by Tom McCarty. There are 2 stories here: The very emotional relationship between Carl, the Spencer Tracy character, and his wife Ellie, and the South American adventures. I remembered the first part vividly, and didn’t realize that they already reached Paradise Falls after 30 minutes: The rest of the movie was centered around the fights with explorer Charles Muntz.

The first 10 minutes opening scene, though...

✳️✳️✳️ Finally, One million Arm, a Tom McCarty’s script turned into a disappointing Disney production: So formulaic that I knew to the minute when Alan Arkin is going to pop up again.

✴️

First watch: What Happened, Miss Simone? A biography of the second greatest female singer, who also suffered the tragic fate of being born black and female in America.

✴️

The Rider, Chloé Zhao’s magnificent film before Nomadland.

Dark, authentic and powerful “Western” story of a rodeo rider who had a brain injury while falling from a horse (in real life). Played by all non-actors from an Indian reservation in the Badlands of South Dakota.

One of Obama’s 2018 favorite films.

"Play the cards you are dealt, Let it go."

✴️

Hated in the nation - Another re-watch of my all-time favorite “Black Mirror” episode (I actually mentioned it on the first blog post of this project - so less than 6 months ago!). Because of “Puzzle” (above), I returned to see Kelly Macdonald as DCI Karin Parks (together with her side-kick “Blue Coulson”).

A perfect thriller! I would binge on a series led by these two!

10/10

✴️

“...From the Buddhists to the whores...”

Asleep & Awake: Spend 35 minutes in the bathroom of 81 year old Henry Miller

✴️

Young Fronkensteen - with Inspector Kemp, whose German accent is so thick that even his own countrymen cannot understand him - and Gene Hackman as the blind hermit.

“Hallo. Vould you like to have a roll in ze hay?”

✴️

Margaret is an over-long (2.5 hours), meandering story about a privileged and self-absorbed Manhattan teen who witnesses a woman being killed by a bus. It’s attention-seeking and unfocused with a dozen unrelated sub-plots, each going on its own tangent and leading nowhere. It starts on the wrong foot by casting 29 year old Anna Paquin as a teenager who bickers and argues with everybody around her, who also exhibit breakdowns in communication and aggressive assholery all around. Unpleasant slog! Even Mark Ruffalo gets to play an unsympathetic character.

✴️

H.R. Giger’s 1979 wet dream - Alien. Also, Sigourney Weaver’s first role. (She’s 71 years old now). A group of incompetent space explorers / scientists discover some alien organism in space, and do everything possible not to protect themselves. Overrated, empty horror. 2/10

- - - - -

Throw-back to the art project:

Adora with Mr. Rogers and with Daniel Tiger.

Nina Simone Adora.

Young Frankenstein Adora.

Alien Adora.

- - - - -

(My complete movie list is here)

#movies

0 notes

michalwu · 6 years

Text

Summary of 2017 in cinema

Today is the day. Academy awards comming in few hours. Some say those are the most important awards in film industry, well I don’t think so. But it really is kind of summary for this award period for achievments in film and kind of closure. So I watched a loooot of movies from 2017 (like every year) and though I’m not specialist or respected critic I decided to go my list of greatest achievments in each categories. I’m a film maniac after all so I think I know a thing or two. I chose categories about which I have at least some idea and I can “judge” them in this SUBJECTIVE RANK.

I will do it like this. Few movie or people names worth mention (in random order) and the best one or “the winner” in bold font.

***Film editing***

I, Tonya; John Wick 2, mother!; Dunkirk; Baby Driver

***Sound mixing***

Baby Driver, Shape of Water, Dunkirk, John Wick 2, Blade Runner 2049

***Visual effects***

War for Planet of Apes; Thor: Ragnarok; Dunkirk; Star Wars: Last Jedi; Blade Runner 2049

***Production design***

Blade Runner 2049, Phantom Thread, Thor: Ragnarok, Beguiled, Shape of Water

***Costume design***

Darkest Hour, Beauty and the Beast, Phantom Thread, Shape of Water, Beguiled

***Cinematography***

John Wick 2, Florida Project, Mudbound, Blade Runner 2049, Beguiled

***Animated Feature Film***

Loving Vincent, Ferdinand, Lego: Batman, Coco

***Music (original score)***

Ghost in the Shell, Call Me by Your Name, The Square, Dunkirk, Blade Runner 2049

***Best song***

Mighty River (Mudbound), I Get Overwhelmed (Ghost Story), PBNJ (Patti Cake$), La Llorona (Coco), Mystery of Love (Call Me By Your Name)

***Foreign Language Film***

Okja, Fantastic Woman, In the Fade, The Square

***Best Adapted Screenplay***

The Post, Mudbound, Bequiled, Disaster Artist, Call Me By Your Name

***Best Original Screenplay***

Lady Bird, Shape of Water, Phantom Thread, Okja, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

***Achievment in directing***

Guillermo del Toro (Shape of Water), Sofia Coppola (Beguiled), Denis Villeneuve (Blade Runner 2049), Greta Gerwig (Lady Bird), Luca Guadagnino (Call Me By Your Name)

***Actress in supporting role***

Mary J. Blige (Mudbound), Elizabeth Moss (The Square), Allison Janney (I, Tonya), Kristen Dunst (Beguiled), Tilda Swinton (Okja), Laure Metcalf (Lady Bird)

***Actor in supporting role***

Jake Gyllenhaal (Okja), Adam Sandler (Meyerowitz Stories), LilReL Howery (Get Out!), Willerm Defoe (Florida Project), Sam Rockwell ( Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri), Armie Hammer (Call Me By Your Name)

***Actress in leading role***

Margot Robbie (I, Tonya), Vicky Krieps (Phantom Thread), Sally Hawkins (Shape of Water), Jennifer Lawrence (mother!), Saoirse Ronan (Lady Bird), Frances McDormand ( Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri)

***Actor in leading role***

James Franco (Disaster Artist), Daniel Day-Lewis (Phantom Thread), Gary Oldman (Darkest Hour), Daniel Kaluuya (Get Out), Claes Bang (The Square), Timothée Chalamet (Call Me By Your Name)

***Best cast***

Call Me By Your Name, Beguiled, Okja, The Square, Lady Bird, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

*** Best picture***

Lady Bird, Shape of Water, Phantom Thread, Dunkirk, Okja, Beguiled, The Square,

3) Blade Runner 2049

2) Call Me By Your Name

1) Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri <3

Worst of the year? Hard to choose because in opposit to critics I mostly watch movies I really want to see. But there was few dissapointments:

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, Baywatch, Snatched, Justice League, Killing Sacred Deer. And abut Last Jedi...it’s a good movie I just really expected more.

#three billboards #call me by your name #blade runner 2049 #the beguiled #dunkirk #okja movie #the square #phantom thread #the shape of water #lady bird #best movies #best of 2017 #cinema #oscars2017 #rank

4 notes · View notes

aion-rsa · 4 years

Text

Link Tank: The Best Star Wars Posters of All Time

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

The Star Wars franchise has some of the most beautiful posters in movie history. Here are the top 15.

“Star Wars has some of the most gorgeous posters in the history of cinema. Part of that is because of its beautiful iconography: lightsabers, spaceships, aliens, etc. Another reason is each film has been released and re-released so many times, there are way, way more poster versions to choose from.”