society has progressed past the need for girlboss greek mythology retellings

More political strategy? The debt ceiling is probably going to make for an interesting several months.

THE PROBLEM FOR REPUBLICANS

The GOP plan, such as it is, is starting to come into focus. They will attempt to keep the debt ceiling from being raised, which would trigger a catastrophic default for the United States if it were to happen, in order to secure spending cuts, and it's becoming clear that they intend to target Medicare and Social Security.

Now, the politics of this are bad, and I mean really bad. These programs are known as the "third rails" (named after the third rail of a light rail system which is electrified and will kill you if you touch it) of politics for a reason. They are unbelievably popular and are even more so with the older voters who tend to vote Republican. In other words, Republicans, who are already doing poorly with the electorate in general, are targeting the one group that actually still supports them.

In fact, if you want to know how bad the politics are, you should be aware that former President Trump, who rarely cares much about policy, has publicly ordered the party not to touch those two programs. He's not particularly skilled at much, but he is very skilled at reading the political preferences of the kind of older, whiter Americans who form the GOP base and he understands exactly how badly this will go for Republicans.

Source

What makes this even worse for Republicans is the fact that the Biden Administration is refusing to negotiate over the debt ceiling. You see, when negotiations take place directly and out of public view, it's easier to press an unpopular demand and get it included in a bill before you experience lethal backlash. By refusing direct negotiations, Biden is forcing Republicans to make their unpopular demands in public.

Finally, as the real kicker on how bad their situation is, this isn't the platform the GOP ran on. If they had talked about their desire to cut these programs during the campaign and won they would at least have the ability to claim some sort of mandate. But they didn't campaign on this. In fact, they deliberately avoided answering questions about it over the months leading up to the 2022 election which makes them vulnerable to accusations of running a bait-and-switch since they're doing this instead of working on inflation, immigration, gas prices, or any of the things they DID actually campaign on.

More importantly, since this is wildly unpopular with political moderates and even many conservatives, they can end up looking as if their party is controlled by its most extreme elements.

THE WAY FORWARD

Well, I don't see Biden agreeing to negotiate. The GOP position is insanely bad politically and it's way better for Democrats if they express it publicly rather than in the negotiating room.

The question now is how far the GOP is willing to take this. Crashing the US economy in order to achieve something most people absolutely hate is a recipe for disaster, but do they have the wherewithal to stop before it's too late? The danger right now is that they've set themselves up to sleepwalk into oblivion at the hands of their five or ten most extreme members.

As I see it, there are three ways that the debt ceiling dilemma can end: (1) Democrats cave and give the Republicans what they want, (2) Speaker McCarthy caves and allows a vote on a clean(ish) debt ceiling bill which passes with Democratic support, or (3) moderate Republicans join with Democrats and force a discharge petition to pass a clean debt ceiling bill.

Number one is extremely unlikely at this point, Democrats are winning the politics on this one and will likely keep to their strategy as long as it's working. And I don't see it not working as long as what the Republicans are demanding is extremely unpopular.

Number three seems possible, but it requires a long time to wind up. Discharge petitions have lots of delay points and they can take months in order to get from "I propose this" to "it passed". In other words, if we don't see the first steps happening in the next month or so then it's probably not going to happen.

Number two seems to me to be the most likely and it's usually how these things tend to end. However, there's a wrinkle here.

Let's say we're a week or so from default and Speaker McCarthy decides it's time to throw in the towel, he brings up a clean debt limit bill for a vote. If even one of the extremists that's pushing this hostage taking decides to call for a vote to oust him as speaker, it happens. Now there's a bit of trouble. If even five extremists line up against him, then McCarthy can only win with the help of Democratic votes. That raises two further questions:

1) Do the Democrats help him out?

2) What kinds of impacts does McCarthy and the other moderate Republicans who support him suffer for being seen as working with Democrats against "conservative" priorities?

I'm pretty sure the answer to #1 there is "yes" which hopefully means that we wouldn't default under that scenario, but #2 then sets up a situation where our government falls further into chaos, raising the question of whether we could prevent any other catastrophe from occurring.

So yeah, all of this is still developing, but wow has McCarthy put himself in a position to lose pretty much no matter what happens.

I’m right for you [pt. 3]

[teaser] [ Chapter 1 ] [ Chapter 2 ]

(you can play Die For You by The Weeknd while reading this 😌)

pairing: popular college! mark x average! reader

genre: romance, smut, angst, series.

warning: corruption, oral sex (both receiving and giving), cream pie, rough sex, mention of religion, rough sex, self-esteem, psychology, public sex, sub! reader, sex toys. possessive mark two-faced mark

I think I’m right for you, babe. You know what I’m thinking, see it in your eyes. You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry. It ain’t workin’ ‘cause you’re perfect and I know that you’re worth it I can’t walk away. (Die for you by The Weeknd)

today is you case presentation with mark. you were deeply affected of what happened in the cubicle but mark seemed unbothered because he was greeting you as usual. it wasn’t weird, he always greets everyone but what was really weird was your classmates. they were looking at you and it made you felt conscious, they were not saying anything but sometimes you catch them glancing at you but you brushed it off and focus on your brainstorming with mark.

yes you do dislike mark but you thank god that he's your partner. he never missed a question from your professor during case study on the other hand you're just standing beside him dumbly. you only understand the question AND the answer once mark responded. well, mark a very kind person he was, despite of answering it alone he made sure that you're included in the case saying base in y/n and my research, even lied that some are from my own research but of course not. plus, for some odd reason, your classmates' eyes were literally made you uncomfortable to the point you were having a hard time to breathe or your social anxiety attacking you. however, at the very moment, you want to give mark a tight hug for making your life easy.

the whole presentation ended. you were putting your things back to your back while standing while mark scrolling in his phone because his dad texted him asking if he could buy him some new pen. you gasped when an arm was on your shoulder, and that caught mark's attention but he hid his annoyance. 

"hey, y/n, i heard you like someone ha?" his brows were playfully raising. it was lucas, he gave mark a meaningful glance but mark smiled confusingly.

"what?" you didn't have any idea what he's telling you. 

"i heard someone saw-"

"mark!" mina suddenly appeared calling mark's name a little too loud which made lucas stop from talking. "we're going to a milk tea house, do you want to come with us?"

“y/n, come with us.” lucas pulled you closer to his body. mark was taring at lucas arm around your shoulder. you weren’t aware of mark’s expression because your mind was thinking ways to breakthrough from lucas. 

“no!” mina exclaimed. he caught everyone’s attention, and she became flustered. “i mean, we will only make her feel uncomfortable and lucas please remove your arms to y/n, she doesn’t look comfortable.” she mumbled. lucas did remove his arms from you. 

“milk tea? can we also come with you?” then the people started to surround mark. it became noisy, knowing you who’s allergic to people and noise sneaked out from the circle and left the room.

mark turned his head to look at you but you’re nowhere to be found. he sighed and forced himself to interact with his classmates.

your mother texted you that he will be away for one week because of their excursion. she left you an allowance good for one week including your meals for the whole day and transportation. you already had your dinner outside. right now you were just laying down on your favorite long sofa in your living room, watching NCT 2020 funny moments. suddenly, mark's name popped. mark is your class representative, he has access to class contacts and it wasn't that mark called you because you're always late in the class so for almost past 3 years he's the one you always contact just to inform the class that you're just late. 

wait, did i miss an announcement? you quickly left the class maybe something came up.

"hello, was there an announcement?" you directly asked

"none, just checking you. we haven't had a proper conversation awhile ago unless it's case related." 

you heart melted, he's very kind and sweet... that scares you.

"ah okay." you simply answered. it wasn't because you want to talk to him, well you really don't want to talk to him but it wasn't that he's annoying or anything- it was just you hate phone calls. you hate talking with someone in general unless it's your mom. 

"well, have you eaten yet?" he tried to save the conversation, he wanted to hear your voice longer.

"yes." it was a one-word reply. 

mark was slightly shattered because you don't seem to want to talk to him. he just thought that maybe you were tired.

"okay, goodnight."

"yeah." then you hang up. 

you returned watching youtube until you drifted into your dreamland... no it wasn't your dreamland.

you gasped and sat up as you woke from another perverted dream with mark. your chest was rising aggressively and you look down as you felt the wetness between your thighs. you raked your hands over your hair as you felt frustration and guilt. this was your second time that you dreamt of mark doing erotic things. you looked at the digital clock it was already 2 am. you groaned and stood up, you want to wash your body because the stickiness just made you feel more guilty if it stays there longer.

you entered your room and stripped, walking directly into your bathroom. you opened a warm shower and as the water trickled on your body, hands unconsciously trailing to the south. your dream was so hot, you can't lie about that. it was in the same cubicle but instead of his digits, it was his dick inside you. 

your eyes closed as you rubbed your bead slow while recalling your dream. you squeezed your left breast and imagining it was mark's squeezing it. you want something to fill your womanhood so you inserted your two fingers and thrust it. your lungs felt like being suppressed by pressure, your thrust became furious. 

"oh my- mark fuck." you moaned his name and you have never been so ashamed. it was so wrong but the feeling was so good that you weren't able to stop yourself from moaning. you felt the tension in your thighs. you knelt down and the hand that squeezing your breast was now on your clit rubbing it furiously. 

"mark! fuck right there." you felt the tension in your abdomen and your legs started to shake. your body just gave in, bending down, cheek shoved against the wet tiles while the warm water splashed on your body.

you screamed erotically, eyes rolling and lashes flickering. your legs were shaking as you reached your high.

 mark hasn't slept yet, it's okay for him because there are no classes. he was staring at the ceiling and mind preoccupied by you.

he was trying to understand why do you keep pushing him away even though you clearly wanted him too. mark did remember where you say he's very different from you, and so? what's wrong with it? what he didn't like is the thought of changing just for a single person but...

"shall i?" he chuckled bitterly. he was really close to his insanity. he feared that this affection will grow into something that is uncontrollable- like an obsession.  

he checked the time through his phone. it's 5 in the morning. he decided to jog outside, so, he took a quick shower and wore his tracksuit and running shoes. maybe if tiredness hits him, he will feel sleepy. mark already went to your house and he didn't tell you that his house is just a few blocks away from you, instead of going to his normal route, he changed it, jogging in your house direction.

when he was closed to your street, he was surprised to see you outside. he stood and admire your naturalness from afar. your hair was disheveled, your eyes weren't completely closed yet, and your face was a little puffy but it doesn't take away your beauty. plus, your cute teddy bear pajamas made him smile. he sends his gratitude to god because he created a masterpiece. 

yeah, mark is deeply in love and he thinks there's no way out of this feeling. 

you were actually waiting for your breakfast, your pancakes from mcdonalds and a warm chocolate drink. when the delivery arrived, you paid and gave him a tip for being quick. you were about to go back inside when you heard a VERY familiar voice which was owned by the person who sleep deprived you 

"Y/N!" his voice was loud, it even cracked. 

"what are you doing here?" you asked.

"morning jog, and good morning to you." he replied and greeted at the same time.

"jog.." you paused and gasped. "from your condo to here?!" you exclaimed in disbelief. mark laughed at your reaction. of course it'll shock you because you already been in his condo and if he jogged it from there to here, he was supposed to be passing out right now.

"no, my family house is actually a few blocks away from here."  he said.

WHAT?! this is not good. you thought. the more he gets closer the more he has access to your mind and body. you masked your displeased face and just nodded.

"okay, ahm. i'm heading back now. bye." you pointed at your house door and awkwardly turned your back walking towards your door.

you expected him to do something because he always do that but to your disappointment he didn't. you looked back to check if he was stil there but he was no longer standing there but you saw him jogging away from your direction. you sighed in disappoinment that made you mentally slap yourself for feeling very contradicting .

you ate miserably your affordable and favorite pancake.

mark took a bathe and go down to eat breakfast together with his parents. they prayed before eating. the cooked food by his mom made him question why your ordered delivery food for breakfast.

"how's school?" mark's dad asked him.

"good, still the same." he replied.

"your father will lead a service, you can invite your classmates. oh mina, you can invite her, she's very sweet girl." his mom said but she doesn't have any motive. she knew mark have not interest in romantic relationship as of the moment, her child was so focus in maintaining his grades and scholarship. at least, that's what he though.. if she only knew.

"i'll try." he forced a smile but behind it was growing tiredness. he knew that his classmates doesn't really want to praise but because they were so fond of mark and they just love to hang out. it defeated the purpose of going to church.

after the breakfast, mark's parent left for their work. he washed the dishes and went up stairs and stayed in his room with his music and guitar. it helped to detach his mind from thinking of you, but it was just temporary as he saw you name appeared in his phone. he almost threw his guitar just to answer your call very quick.

"y/n? why?" he sound so excited.

"ahm, mark... well.. perhaps, do you ahm, have notes from yesterdays discussion? i mean in all cases, not just ours?" you were very stuttering because of shyness. your class have long test about the cases but you're notes are everywhere and you can't understand your writings.

"yes." he said. he knew where this is going. he quickly get out from his bed and go straight to his closet, choosing shirt to wear. "do you need it? i can bring it to you."

"no, no. ahm, you do digital notes right? mind if you could send it through gdrive?" you really don't want to bother him... nah lies. you're just preventing things from happening.

mark paused for a moment and was a little hurt, he understood your statement as if you don't want to see him. but mark will not having any of that.

"it was handwritten though." he faked sorry. he hoped you didn't notice what he did there, hoping that you received it as if it was literally handwritten like directly to paper since he sounded apologetic.

"oh... i see. well, ahm, can you drop by in the house?"

mark still not satisfied by just dropping by.

"how about we study together? we can review together."

you translated it like 'the smartest in your class can help you'and that's very tempting. you can't easily study 8 cases and you need him. you used his diuretics notes in lecture, you almost aced it. now, your lab needs him.

"then, pizza is okay for you?" you whisoered from the other end.

mark secretly fist pump and grinned in triumph.

"yes."

you spayed air freshener in your living room and changed your shirt to another shirt? you only have tees just in different colors, you changed your short into black sweatpants. you made sure that your hair was far different from the hair he saw this morning. you already ordered the pizza.

the doorbell rang. your quickly opened the door for him. mark was standing, carrying his ipad and his other hand holding a two milk teas in a cup holder. he's wearing dark blue t-shirt and gray sweatpants. you smiled awkwardly and let him in. you scanned his body, looking for paper or at least a piece of paper but you didn't see any of it. mark was looking down at you, watching you observing him.

"where's your notes?" you curiously asked.

"here." he lifted his ipad. your jaw dropped.

"i thought you did not do digital notes?"

"i don't recalling telling you i didn't, i just said it was handwritten and when i saif that handwritten in my ipad." he reasoned. taht made you think later realizing that he was right and that made you dumb.

you sighed in defeat.

"by the way, bought you milk tea since you missed it yesterday." he said, you acually don't care if you missed it or not.

you walked towards the single couch and patted it.

"you can seat here." you said.

he quickly sat down and put the milk teas on top of your living room's table. he confusingly watched you when you sat on the long couch and it was the end of it. you were too far from him.

you noticed his sulking face.

"mr. mark lee, what's with your long face?" you chuckled teasingly.

"why are you too far from me?" he pouted.

"damage control." you replied shortly and get your case 3 notes which is very illegible to read. "can i borrow your case 3?"

"why? what did i do?" mark asked was clueless. he did not pay attention to your question

"mark, being alone with you is not healthy anymore." you directly answered him.

"orgasm is healthy, what do you mean?" mark didn't get your.

"mark, that's not what i mean. we're like horny teenagers doing unappropriate things."

"we're already passed in that phase in life, we're both adults." he rebutted.

you mentally face palmed yourself in frustration. why is he so smart and dumb at the same time.

"mark, that's not why i mean. we're being to touchy, every time we are left alone the next thing we knew we're touching each other. do you know how scary was that to me? it only happened twice but i am already longing for more! when i don't feel your touches i go craaazy! i even touched myself for freaking 2-" you froze when you realize what you were telling him you stared blankly at him.

on the other hand, mark was very pleased hearing you exploded from frustration as you became honest for the first time.

"you touched yourself? what 2?" he smirked and lifted his brows.

you cleared your throat.

"can i borrow your ipad? i need your case 3." you murmured and look anywhere but him your face heat up. you want to be swallowed by your favorite sofa.

"then get it."

you look at his ipad sitting on his manly wide spread apart thighs. your eyes stared at the mark that makes your knees weak and wet pussy. his fiery eyes looking directly toyou while he was sitting comfortably on the couch and arms are both in each side of the armrest.

"mark lee, i need it." you tried to use your stern voice but failed because your voice was too small.

"i told you, you can get it.. here." he glanced at his ipad.

you gulped and the living room's air became thick. your submissive self switched on and you just found yourself walking towards him. your hands felt cold as you reached for his ipad. when you lifted it, his bulge forming in his gray sweatpants made you almost drool. you were reminded how fucking hot it was.

you want to touch it and do anything you can possibly could but your single rational braincells keeping you in the light.

"you don't seem sure of what you really wanted to do." he snapped you from overthinking. "should i make you choices?"

"what?" you asked confusingly but your voice was shaking.

"you bring that ipad with you and go back to where you were sitting, or..." he looked up to you with his dark eyes, leaning a little forward you trace the side of your hips with his palm..

"put the ipad on the table and sit in my lap."

mark knew that you can never say no at this state. if you could only see how your body shivered and how defeated your face was, he knew you already gave in.

and his was right.

the original draft was deleted because of my stupidity 😭 idk think this is good as the original draft.

hello, some of you asked me if i have a tag list, i will be creating one.

✨if you want to be added in I'm Right For You Tag List, you can DM or Ask me so i can add you ✨

⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢

Tag List:

⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣

anyways, i would like to say thank you for supporting this story. i did not expect some of you will like it. i also want to thanks people who leaving message through dms and ask praising this story. also to those nctzens hearting it 🥺🤗

the devil judge ep. 4: thoughts

i know i already wrote like five paragraphs of thoughts yesterday. well it turns out i had some more, though this post mostly focuses on what we learned in episode four, as well as other questions, and some analysis.

yohan and the fire.

the number one question we’re (the viewers) left with at the end of the episode is how much of the story yohan tells gaon is true. considering what we know, i would say most of it is, but likely there are some crucial parts are different. now, this isn’t only based on yohan’s cryptic, ‘i knew it, people like stories like this.’ 

here’s what we know about the fire, and about yohan:

1) in episode one, at the ending when yohan looks at gaon, he sees a fire, and remembers seeing his brother looking at him. he also remembers touching his brother’s face, with what looks like a teddy bear in his hand - which i’m pretty sure we see elijah holding in the episode four fire. since this is introduced first, in episode one, and is obviously a true flashback, i am assuming that this actually happened. however, in yohan’s events, we don’t actually see this scene. of course, it might just have been omitted between yohan crying and then him leaving the church, but it’s certainly interesting, especially because parts we see in flashback usually make an appearance when the full memory is revealed. also note that the scene of his brother looking at him happened after the fire was actually put out, in the blue lighting, when he should have already been dead - of course, it could have just been what yohan saw when he looked at gaon, or it could have actually happened. 

2) the firefighter. in episode two, i think, we see yohan looking at homeless people and checking their wrists. his motive is confirmed in episode four, when he finally finds the firefighter who stole isaac’s watch. however, the firefighter is terrified enough of yohan that he has a panic attack of sorts when he sees him and then flees, eventually accumulating in his suicide. now, this reaction seems out of proportion compared to what we saw in yohan’s flashback. yes, the firefighter is guilty of stealing from a dead person, but there’s really no reason for him to be that scared of yohan. he could have just given the watch back and run away, but he fled as if terrified for his life instead. this insinuates that the firefighter had a negative experience with yohan during the church fire. also i’m 99% sure that the watch yohan takes back is the same one he gave to gaon which is interesting for many reasons.

3) elijah herself seems to hate yohan. now, this could be because she hates him for leaving her parents there and rescuing her instead of trying to save them, but apparently she wants him dead, which is a little concerning, especially since they are uncle and niece and live together. her reaction is strange towards someone who supposedly saved her life, and it doesn’t just seem to be because she wishes she hadn’t survived, etc. 

4) yohan’s line at the end itself. this line clearly indicates that he told his story for the purpose of manipulating gaon. if the story itself is more sinister, it makes sense for him to share a version that would make gaon clearly empathize with him.

my conclusion based on all of this is that the events likely happened in the order, but that yohan’s position in all of this might have differed a bit, and not been as heroic as initially described. yohan genuinely hates the people in power, believes in the cruelty of the world, and has a reason to. however, he also benefits immensely from making the events more sympathetic towards him, which makes it hard for us, as viewers, to completely trust him. all i can say is that i hope he’s not lying entirely, because if he lied with the purpose of manipulating gaon and steering him away from the actual truth, by telling a story he knew would make gaon feel strongly about due to his own trauma and backstory, then that’s just a disaster in the making.   

gaon as isaac’s lookalike.

this episode clearly established the story of kang isaac, who gaon shares a remarkable similarity to. there’s a possibility that he is isaac’s son, but that feels like it wouldn’t fit. gaon looks like he’s in his mid to late twenties. yohan is probably somewhere in his thirties, but it’s hard to tell with men that look like that lol. there’s at least a ten year age gap between them in my opinion. elijah is probably in her mid teens, given it has been ten years since the fire and she was a young child then. still, the ages don’t exactly match up, and there’s no scenario for how that could have occured, so why does he look exactly like isaac? 

there’s also the fact that no one else has noted his resemblance to isaac. i can understand why the other rich people didn’t, but jung sunah spoke directly to gaon about isaac, but didn’t seem to note any similarity. now, it has been ten years since his death, and i think if people aren’t looking for similarity they won’t see it, especially since glasses change a person’s face, but the jarring similarity should have at least turned some heads.

yohan is seen to give gaon isaac’s watch. this is symbolic for many reasons. one of them, like yohan said, is because he’s syncing gaon to yohan’s time, another way of demonstrating how yohan is introducing gaon into his world, bringing an outsider in. but the fact that he gave gaon a watch that belonged to his dead brother who looks exactly like gaon says something else. almost as if gaon is transforming into isaac, or something weird like that. it was just weird, period, and yohan obviously made it a deliberate choice. 

gaon and yohan in general.

i already talked about them quite a bit, and a lot of other people have as well, but this episode really served. first there was the white vs. black, especially when introducing gaon to the corrupt world of the rich. the white coat initially protects gaon in a way, but he takes it off when meeting with the actual rich people, as if his kind morality is not allowed there, further demonstrated by yohan bodily throwing him out of his chair when he tried to speak up. although jinjoo also went with yohan to a social event, gaon is invited to the intimate gathering of the top tier organizations, given a seat at the table, with yohan basically wanting him to see things as they are at the moment, making him aware of what yohan himself knows.

there was also the scene in the car, when yohan jerks the wheel. i think this scene was super interesting because it clearly demonstrates how yohan is just. not really that sane. which isn’t exactly what i mean, but i don’t know how else to describe it, because yohan isn’t exactly mentally unstable, though he certainly seems to be. instead, the yohan of today is just a mirror of the yohan who the priest described as the devil. he thrives off chaos. yes, his actions as a child were inventive and clever, but it also demonstrates how yohan can and will exploit other people for no other reason than enjoyment. the live court gives him the opportunity to do this to the whole world. he has a flair for dramatics, he’s the gamemaster, carefully orchestrating everything and enjoying the results for his benefit. not only is he making himself popular, but he’s turning himself into a godlike idol, which is honestly blasphemous considering the fact that he’s a judge, but it makes a lot of sense when you consider the fact that he’s been called the devil, the judge robes look like a priest’s robes instead, he has the symbol of the cross on his back (scar), etc...it all adds up, and the religious imagery is frankly insane. one wonders if he’ll end up a martyr, or cast into fiery pits. 

in cast interviews, or the clips that i’ve seen, gaon’s character has been referred to as an angel of sorts, a ray of hope. this is obviously in stark contrast to yohan, who is darkness, who is gray morality. gaon believes in the idea of justice taught in school, which i think makes sense when you consider the fact that his childhood was likely extremely unfair: living in poverty, parents killing themselves because of debt. he believes in lawful justice almost as if he has to, to have a chance to change things. he doesn’t understand what yohan is trying to make him understand: that lawful justice will never apply to the rich, that fairness doesn’t matter to million and billionaires, because they can change the law however they please the suit their benefits. it’s funny because that is what yohan is proving with the public, that the rich can be brought to justice. i’m really interested to see how their views will change when they get to know each other better and/or team up. there’s a lot of potential there (yes i’ve said this like five times. it’s all i think about right now.).

jung sunah.

i actually don’t have much more to say on that character, but as she’s revealed to be the actual head of the social responsibility foundation, we’re left wondering if mr. seo is just a figurehead, or if she just gained power by controlling him. idk if this makes sense - is she in charge charge of everything, or just in charge of mr. seo? i think next episode will more clearly demonstrate this.

the public, the ethics of live court shows, etc.

this episode was by far the most concerning one when it came to the live court show. whereas their first case was something that was clearly evil and neatly tied up, youngmin’s case was a brutal display of the power of the public and what it means when someone has the power to manipulate the public. youngmin definitely deserved to be punished. i think it’s actually super funny how his argument was that they didn’t have the right to judge him, when he did exactly that to everyone who suffered from his abuse. however, public flagellation seemed absurd. despite most people saying he deserved it, there was also the vibe that most people didn’t believe it would actually be shown. however, when it was, you could see that most of the public was deeply unsettled by this. yohan’s cult was also demonstrated in this scene, from the people cheering. 

was youngmin’s punishment justice? maybe, in a way. i don’t think there really was a punishment that would be right for him. flogging would scare him, but it also ignites his anger. in prison he might live a better life than most, but he would also be kept away from people he could hurt, which is kind of the purpose of prisons.

the flogging felt very dystopian, but i think it also showed the danger of the live court show perfectly. not only did it incite people and their bloodthirst at being offered a sort of justice, but it also showed how people feel when confronted with a decision they chose. over 95% of people chose for that punishment to be carried out, but few appeared to actually enjoy seeing it carried out. it’s a lot easier to click a button and feel as if you don’t matter in the large scheme of things than it is to see what happened as a result of you and many other people choosing to do something. it showed the power of the public, or more exactly, how yohan was able to manipulate the public into torturing cha kyunghee and ripping her family apart slowly. 

at the end of the day, i doubt few (of the viewers, at least, though i don’t really know) were actually satisfied or happy by youngmin’s punishment. it might have been satisfying to see his court breakdown, but when it comes down to it, it’s just more human suffering. 

it also begs the question of if yohan will ever be put on trial. could that even happen? it seems an almost inevitable conclusion to his trajectory right now - when you fight corruption with corruption, the only thing left when the corruption is gone is your corrupted self - but i think right now he’s also building the public as a way to protect himself, which has proved right so far. it’s interesting to wonder if the public will ever turn on him, and what will happen if public opinion shifts.

I noticed in one of your responses that you speculated that Xiao Zhan is currently the #1 star in china and his agent is probably not inclined to request talent buyers but rather command top pruce. Can you expand a bit on your thought process? I always feel like without the usual modes of exposure through various high end endorsements and appearances in shows and stage, he has lost a lot of influence and power. Granted he finally has The Wold air, and attended two live events, but rest of the year he has has no new endorsements, shows or appearances. Is it just the various ranking charts that would lend him his influence? How do talent buyers figure out the ‘pull’ any actor would have??

Disclaimer: The following response includes both facts and speculation that is informed by my 10+ year career in the music industry. 

“Xiao Zhan is currently the #1 star in China” is probably not what many fans would expect to hear after the year Xiao Zhan has had. In fact, it wasn’t too long ago that I also did not believe this, but quite a number of factors have moved my assessment. 

There are a few factors that determines how a talent buyer might assess an artist. These factors include:

HARD DATA

Social media following 

Sales and streaming figures 

Viewership 

TV rankings

Awards rankings 

Brand deals 

Media reach 

SOFT DATA

Internal projections 

“Hype” 

Overall marketability 

Market sentiment 

Media sentiment 

All of this culminates in a general assessment that helps to determine how much an artist is “worth.” Essentially, you might as well call all of these key performance indicators (KPIs). 

If you consider that artists are a brand, and all brands can either appreciate or depreciate in value depending on market sentiment, you might be able to get a better understanding of how artists are evaluated. 

To provide a concrete example that might help everyone understand how this works a little better, think for a moment about how public companies increase in value and how stock prices rise and fall. If a company reports solid earnings (hard data) and announces that they will be releasing a new line of highly anticipated products (hype), this increases market sentiment, which then results in a direct increase in positive price action for their stock. Conversely, companies that have bad earnings reports and lackluster product offerings might see a sell-off that results in a drop in price (and therefore, in value) when information hits the news cycles.

Like companies, artists are evaluated much the same way. Consider that Xiao Zhan was, prior to the 227 Incident, at the very top of the game in China. He held a huge amount of brand deals and was highly sought after, especially after his popularity skyrocketed due to the international acclaim he received from The Untamed. All of this created an intrinsic “value” that translated to a specific guarantee price.

(Guarantee: the price a talent buyer guarantees an artist when they are booked for a performance.) 

The 227 Incident for Xiao Zhan is what we would call a “Black Swan” event. Another Black Swan event is COVID-19, which decimated the stock market in March 2020. Over 90% of companies listed on the S&P 500 had “distributed large negative returns.” Did this catastrophic event mean that it was the end for all of these companies? Absolutely not. Was 227 the end for Xiao Zhan? Absolutely not. 

These are basic fundamentals that talent buyers understand, especially if an artist hasn’t been blackballed or been subjected to a career death. Sometimes, artists have scandals. Some have a hard time coming back from them, but Xiao Zhan’s enduring popularity has not waned, even if he did lose brand deals and has not really been in the spotlight. 

The following KPIs are what a talent agent would notice for Xiao Zhan: 

#1 selling single in 2020 - 光点 (Spotlight) sold over 40.9 million copies with pretty much no promotion, which is actually insane. (This actually qualifies him for an RIAA diamond certification!!! There are only 44 other singles that have earned this ranking.)

 The Wolf became the #1 streaming show in China the moment it was released, entirely because of Xiao Zhan’s popularity. It immediately led to a significant amount of positive media coverage, both domestically and worldwide. 

TV viewership surged dramatically when Xiao Zhan appeared on December 5 as a surprise guest. (I forgot the exact figure, but I think I read it was 17 million? Please correct me if I am wrong.) This positive statistic is another solid green check mark for talent agents. 

Xiao Zhan’s Red Sea was a top trending topic and had massive media coverage. This is essentially what agents are looking for when they book artists. It means HYPE HYPE HYPE, and HYPE means MONEY MONEY MONEY 

Positive media coverage over Xiao Zhan’s fans cleaning up the entire arena

Massive award sweep - In 2020, Xiao Zhan won every single major award he was nominated for, and took #1 in pretty much all other smaller media award lists, except for 2. Here is the list: Jinri Toutiao Awards - Most Noticed Male Celebrity Weibo Awards - Hot Figure of the Year - The Untamed Weibo Awards - Weibo King China Literature Awards - Actor of the Year - The Untamed, Jade Dynasty China Literature Awards - Heartthrob Actor - Jade Dynasty China Screen Award - New Actor of the Year - Jade Dynasty 27th ERC Chinese Top Ten Awards - Top Ten Songs “Unrestrained” with Wang Yibo 27th ERC Chinese Top Ten Awards - Top Ten Songs “Remaining Years” Weibo TV Series Awards - Most Popular Actor - The Wolf Tencent Entertainment White Paper - Male Singer of the Year - “Spotlight” Tencent Entertainment White Paper - Star Power of the Year Tencent Video All Star Awards - VIP Star WeTV 2020 Awards - Best Wuxia Drama - The Untamed  WeTV 2020 Awards - Best Male Lead TCC Asia The 100 Most Influential Faces of 2020 - #1 TCC Asia The Most Handsome Faces of Asia - #1 Weibo The Most Beautiful Charity Ambassador in 2020 - #1 Starmometer  The 100 Sexiest Men in the World 2020 - #1 TCC Asia The 100 Most Handsome Face in Asia Pacific 2020 - #1 Top Beauty World The 100 Most Handsome Men in the World 2020 - #1 WeChat 2020’s Top 10 Handsome Idols - #3 TC Candler The 100 Most Handsome Faces in the World 2020 - #7  Yes, even despite everything that happened in 2020, Xiao Zhan still took home quite a lot of awards! Note that a number of these awards were won after the 227 Incident, notably, the Weibo TV Series Awards, the WeTV 2020 Awards, and Tencent Video All Star Awards. 

Changing market sentiment - Overall market sentiment with Xiao Zhan is trending more positive than negative. Essentially, if Xiao Zhan were a company, they would describe this as a “bullish crossover” and a “bull trend.” 

In general, all of the above helps to form a talent buyer’s assessment of the intrinsic value of an artist. And this is largely why I personally believe and would assess Xiao Zhan to be China’s #1 star that will provide any stakeholder with the #1 ROI, which has already been statistically proven by the strength of his sales and continued award wins. 

Of course, I can’t say with absolutely certainty whether or not Chinese talent buyers absolutely, positively see it this way, but this is more or less how most talent buyers evaluate talent. If Xiao Zhan were to be evaluated as an asset at this very moment, he would essentially be rated as asset that is in the process of “mooning.” (I.e. Going [back up] to the moon. Breakout positive trend! It’s raining money again!) 

I have a very hard time imagining that any talent buyer worth their salt would somehow miss the clear indicators that show the tides are changing and a trend crossover has occurred. 

I have strong faith in a full comeback for Xiao Zhan. I believe that he will soar once more - not only in popularity, but also in success. While he will always have antis who will try to dim his shine, I fully believe that there is nothing that can stop the brightest star in the sky from ascending to new heights. 

I only see blue skies above.

I couldn’t finish Batman and Robin 2009. It was just... mentally exhausting and I stopped shortly after Bat Dick put fake Bruce in the Lazarus pit. Based on his appearances in Teen Titans, Bruce Wayne: Road Home, as well as his big fan base, I assumed Damian’s character development was executed nicely in his own series. But then again in Gates of Gotham (literally read it just for Cass) he’s impulsive, arrogant and rude to Cass both to her face and behind her back-even after she saved his life 1

Don’t get me started on the sexist things he’s said to Steph. I want to like Damian, but writers don’t make it easy. I got into comics because of batfam fanfics and he was a fave of mine. Dude was extra violent and displayed borderline sociopathic tendencies in his first appearances, cool beans. There’s a lot they can do with a character like that. I just felt like his bad behaviour was never properly dealt with before B&R, and I couldn’t muster the energy to see him through his own series. 2/2

IMO, Damian felt like a Gary Stu at times.

I don’t know if that last one was from the same person or not, but I just got the feeling it is, and if it’s not, then well it blends well enough and don’t feel the need to answer it separately.

Like all I can really say is that I don’t really like Damian. A lot of people confuse that for me thinking he’s an evil monster. I imagine cause I have a Tim icon and other Tims do rage on about that every now and again. As well as just plain taking things I say the wrong way (though I have probably said things in the moment I imagine). But I just plain don’t really like his writing, and if I can’t really read a comic he’s in that I actually like. Idk, I just find it weird to say I like him, when all I really like is what he could be. I don’t feel like that really equals me liking him, cause when I think about it, I kinda realized that meant the opposite, and didn’t wanna project the wrong idea.

But I wanna say this about Damian. He is insanely inconsistent as a personality and character. To this very day. So, as I do with every character, I start from the beginning, figure out what was meant to be by the writers that helped develop them, and figure out what’s in-character and out of character from there. I just feel like it’s the most objective way I can look at anything if I want to review things with standards that are more than just “I like this” or “I don’t like that”.

And in the case of Damian he’s never not been inconsistent. Like one of the main reasons I reread Batman and Robin (or at least Morrison’s run) was for plans of a post about flanderization in the Bat-Family, cause it was pretty rampant in the 00s and still continues often to this very day, and I think is the cause of a lot of lost sales and unhappiness and overall fandom diminishment.

However also to say it, I liked to see a lot of what Damian could be within B&R 09.

But anyways, basically just because I can’t really do a part of the post on Damian without trying to figure out what he was like to begin with, and what he was supposed to be per his creator.

Cause you can’t really tell in fandom. Cause his most popular comics are from stuff that isn’t in the main universe and was purposely a lot lighter, or in the main universe from writers that really surprisingly didn’t get the character despite the popularity--which continues my thinking on it was less about the quality of the writing and more about the lazy fan service. They honestly really flanderized him in a similar yet opposite way then what they did with Tim in the 00s.

And while I can’t act like the sexism and homophobia wasn’t an actual part of the character of Damian at the time--he shows both of those traits in the series (at least the homophobia, cause I’m now realizing that I might be thinking of another series for the sexism). He was flanderized even then by other writers from the different series.

Like how he’s written in Red Robin, is not freaking Damian. It’s not Damian to me. I don’t accept it as Damian. Even a lot of the content of him in Batgirl I even less feel like is Damian--besides unfortunately some of the sexist comments, but they never really proper developed him on that as far as like--actively showing that, at least that I can recall. So all I can really say is it’s uncomfortable, and how they don’t delve into it is the only real reason I say “That actually sadly does fit in with him”. But it’s not like it doesn’t make sense, he was raised to fight, not to handle emotions or feelings, he probably would do and say really creepy things when he has a crush--I just wish they’d actually acknowledge that what was going on rather than sacrificing a good story for more fan service.

The other writers make him too much of a bratty, snotty, kid. And I found that, that is an absolutely terrible interpretation of Damian, because beyond his origin, he isn’t a typical brat, and he doesn’t really act like a kid (in some ways yes, but general mannerisms and personality no). And even then he was a different kind of brat. He was entitled and bitchy in his origin, not immature (at least in the same way) and snotty. They have him act more like some spoiled brat from next door rather than a kid that was abused into being obedient to be what his abusive mother wanted (Talia shouldn’t be abusive, but like I said before, I think the series sucked overall for reasons like that and more).

(I also find that stupid line cutting scene in RR where I presume he was trying to kill Tim to be even stupider, cause Damian wouldn’t freaking do that at that point. They make Damian come off as so stupid in that issue, I hate it. Cause it was all just a cheap way to force sympathy for him, but it doesn’t even make sense when you think about it and is a huge stretch.)

Damian doesn’t make jokes when he’s written better--it’s like his thing. He’s got quite the temper, and understandably why of course. He’s violent with criminals, but he’s also mostly just stoic as his base state when not in a stressed situation, and even shows remorse (which is a big stretch from his origin, but I blame that on the writing which could be very rushed and lazy). He was treated like just another adult for the most part, and it had a weirdly endearing quality despite the maturity of it, and general edge of the series. It was Damian’s place and it worked really well. It just felt right for their dynamics. Damian’s a unique kid, and they respected him for who he was. He just needed help on his morals and stability.

But other series didn’t really get that. He would still be really rude like his origin, and not really the same tone of rudeness (I’m not sure if I can really explain what I mean by that), he’s aggressive, but putting him in Teen Titans never made sense to me, because I don’t see Dick doing that. Dick had a lot more respect than to force Damian to do something like that. Dick was more patient, and while he did lightly smack (not any kind to hurt him any. literally to demonstrate without pain. more taps really) him to teach him a point about aesthetical weaknesses in his costume like the hood, it was mostly done out of finding a way to teach him that would speak to him. So just forcing him to do something he didn’t want to do--which would clearly not work on him--was just contrived and plain bad writing wise. Something they did more as a stunt so they can say “TITANS NOW HAS THE SON OF BATMAN” than to use him well or continue his story in a natural way.

With Cass I can’t say anything, because that’s like the one time he talks to her, and that basically shows their dynamic. So that’s just them, I can’t really say anything on it. If he felt challenged by her I could see him being a total jerk. It really depends on the scenes themselves. I never read the series myself cause I genuinely really don’t like that Batman Reborn era of Bat-Family. Too much of it was just done for publicity and random changes, and for the most part didn’t work much to me.

But overall, at the same time, despite me singing the praises of what Damian could be, and was for a little while. The overall writing for the character arc was super lazy. Stuff just kind of happens, and way too quick to fit in with what they introduced. He just kind of goes “this is right, now”, which makes his whole brainwashing thing feel a bit--useless, and makes how he went from chopping heads off to that in very little time sort of cuts out depth that could’ve really made the series more rereadable. Damian actually comes off surprisingly as a very flat character for stretches of time in the issues because his character arc is never focused on as much as you’d think until they need to be like “Oh yeah...uh, here’s an emotional moment”. Which just felt really cheap to me.

So the series to me isn’t worth it if you want a good story. None of the stories were good to me, I think I was questioning each one cause it was either schlocky, out of character, or both. I know people like Grant Morrison, but they aren’t for me, I’m not a fan of their writing. Damian was a Gary Stu a lot, which they try to explain with the League thing--but having the League give him experimental surgery so he could walk the same day (or next) after being legitimately paralyzed was just way too freaking much to me. But he does make mistakes, so he’s not at base a Gary Stu really--the writing just really stunk badly sometimes.

This isn’t me putting in a bid to say “OH YOU JUST NEED TO READ THIS, AND YOU’LL FREAKING LOVE HIM”, because to be freaking honest, when you already have a bad taste in your mouth, it’s best to just wait a bit till trying again. I read the fandom recommended comics and felt there was so many problems that I couldn’t read Damian for literal months. And he still has a lot of the problems you said. I’m just saying Damian is surprisingly different when written by his creator than others, cause honestly nearly every single other writer for him has gotten him wrong. Like mind-blowingly wrong. He does not feel like the same character anywhere else. It’s nuts.

To put it another way, it’s a generally speaking bad series, but if you want to see what Damian was meant to be like before they kept regressing him, and diminishing him, and turning him into more a joke, and see what his dynamic with Dick and Alfred was meant to be like, it’s a brilliant and perfect series to read it for.

It’s better for learning about them--then it actually is to enjoy it. Because it’s most likely not a series I’m going to be returning too often unless to research something again.

i’m about five years too late and nobody asked for this except me and i need to just get this out of my brain because it’s 2am so here’s a list of things i wish happened on glee that didn’t HERE WE GO:

- new directions being actual teenagers. just them hanging out. going to group sleepovers. giant study sessions (because school exists in this universe?) like remember in tpp when they were eating lunch together ? that’s what i wanted MORE of. just them being actual friends. a sleepover episode is all i wanted imagine all the abba songs we could have gained from that episode

- a halloween themed episode. the closest to this that we got was the ‘thriller/heads will roll’ mashup which YES was iconic but im greedy and it’s not enough. my idea for a halloween episode is that the gang gets trapped inside the school after staying behind to idk rehearse? or something? and then things get progressively worse as they start to go a little mad, thinking the school is haunted and they split up into pairs trying to find an escape and they think they’re seeing ghosts/someone lurking around the school and they’re getting real spooked but it turns out it’s just sue fucking with them lmao

- kurt and finn being brothers. THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE and sadly after furt we are left with crumbs. why ?? WHY?? little moments like finn saying that he’s driving back home with kurt or them saying they can’t do something because they have a family thing would have been good enough. more scenes of them hanging out in their home with their parents would have been *chefs kiss* but alas. it never happened because glee writers are bastards

- based off my last point: sam actually living at the hudson-hummel house because he actually did live there? but nothing is ever said like what’s the dynamic there why weren’t kurt and sam and finn close if they all lived together for what? like a year? was sam living in the mf shed? did he ever get close to carole and burt?? where tf did he live when everyone went off to college did he just stay in their house lol who knows not me LMAO

- blaine dealing with his trauma ? mental health was never dealt with very well on this show. emma’s ocd was just ignored after she got married or whatever and blaine mentioned his trauma once and then it was ignored until it was mentioned in passing a few seasons later and even he just brushed it off and it was never brought up again like wtf. i have no idea how they wrote a whole episode about hate crime in bash and they never once thought to have blaine and kurt have a single conversation together, let alone a conversation about how they’d both been victims of a hate crime. AND THE ONLY TIME BLAINE DOES MENTION IT IS IN TESTED WHERE ITS JUST USED AS A REASON FOR THEM TO FIGHT AAAAAAAA no wait im calm it’s okay. i just would have liked to have seen kurt and blaine have an emotional moment together in that episode that didn’t include blaine singing and kurt being knocked tf out. just sayin.

- kurt dealing with HIS trauma !! again, glee gets bad points for talking about mental health and it just is crazy that they had so much potential with kurt, ie: depression, anxiety, ocd (kinda?) his bullying, being literally assaulted (i see u ryan murphy taking that whole plot line so loosely mmhm) and then shoehorning in the fact that he was suicidal AT THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE when they had a whole episode about suicide and they could have mentioned it at any time but ofc they didn’t because the writers just wanted to shove in as much as they could in the flashback episode AYE AYE AYE the potential!!!! oof.

- literally just more tina. jenna ushkowitz is a fantastic actor/singer/preformer and she was criminally underused. i like the episode props because of two reasons: one. everyone switching characters was amazing. and two. some actual tina scenes. even if she.. technically was rachel but also herself or something? either way. i digress

- this is just in general but MORE ABBA AND ALSO THE CARPENTERS and also some sound of music songs would have worked GREAT but they already had like a million songs and as the show progressed they veered away from old songs and more towards popular songs at the time to help chart numbers blah blah blah whatever it’s cool. but also how did they only do a few abba songs that is criminal

- a more fleshed out ending that wasn’t so rushed. like rachel won a tony and everyone else is just? there? why is sam at mr shue’s house ??? how did artie get up the stairs? did quinn graduate from yale? and where tf was kurt and blaine’s child during ‘i lived’ because burt and carole are vibing in the audience and rachel isn’t pregnant so like? is the baby just?? alone somewhere in the wings?! lmao where are u bby girl!! but once again i know they didn’t have the time to do it so idk it’s fine what they did it just sucks we didn’t get more! but again. fanfic exists so yah im all good

- more of blaine’s mum. or mom, in this case i guess. why cast gina gershon and then give her ONE line like ? ik there was a whole deleted script that explained why she was there but i love that up until that point blaine seemed like he genuinely murdered his parents, lived in their big house all alone and when people got suspicious he just told them that they were “out of town” :) either way pam is great i love her and i wish she had more to do in the one episode she was ever in. not even a moment with blaine?? wasted.

- more of cooper anderson, matt boomer is so fucking funny everytime i think of the emotion tornado i bust a lung laughing like it’s so fucking stupid but oh my good i love it. (and if you haven’t watched the special feature of cooper’s transformers audition tape please please watch it because it’s just so funny.) ik he was just a special guest but i wish they got him back for at least the wedding ep but guess my mans was just busy. boo ;(

- going back a couple of points, i wish they’d done a whole episode like props. every actor here just shines when they’re impersonating each other. finn and puck as kurt and blaine is beautiful and quinn and sugar is incredible. also idk why they refused kevin the right to wear the cheerios skirt; they could have put a little more effort into some characters but that’s glee for ya lmao but yeah. a whole episode like that would have been so much fun

- they should have let chris colfer write more episodes. purely for the fact that he wrote with his own bare hands the whole scene where lea michelle’s character gets dragged down a road by dogs. this guy. it’s a shame he only got to write one since he actually did a really good job! i would have loved to have seen what other episode ideas he had :)

- glee in the summer! obviously it only was centred around the school year but after season 3 who honestly gave a shit about the glee club and mckinley lmao i wanna see them in SHORT SHORTS and POOL PARTIES but nope we just got september - june so like rip all my hopes and dreams

- WHAT HAPPENED TO DALTON? bitch just burst into flames ?? and for WHAT?? oh yeah plot convenience smh this is so sad i wish they’d either written something better than “we need the warblers to team up with new directions so uhhh the school burnt down” like. it’s a private school. if the school is gone and they’re just staying at mckinley what are the parents paying for? they’re just cool with sending their kids off to public school now? every adult in this universe has been murdered by these kids, haven’t they? they’re just doing whatever they want jfc

- a wedding was a good episode. ish. and yknow, huge kudos to them because gay marriage wasn’t legal in the us at the time so im less harsh on the fact that they definitely threw up the rainbow flags and made it less about the characters getting married and more so “we have gay characters and look they’re getting married what a concept” but i do wish we could have gotten some more married!klaine since they don’t really have much to do after this understandably but a little moment alone together after the wedding would have been nice :) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IM TELLING YOU

- get rid of the hummelberry friendship and send mercedes to new york instead. i have nothing else to add to this other than the fact that i mourn the fact that kurt and mercedes went from bffs to just. school mates. this is tragic this is traaaaagic !! and all for more of the rachel berry show smh

- every day i wonder what was going through carmen tibideaux mind when she watched the kurt hummel preform not the boy next door and was like :) and then watched rachel berry have a breakdown on stage and then proceeded to give rachel the spot at nyada and kurt gets payed literal dust. and THEN she had the nerve to tell him it was because his performance had no heart. AND HOW DID ADAM GET IN THIS BABY GOT BACK MOTHERFUCKER?! nyada is a circus school oh my god !!!!! kurt deserved better im telling yall he deserved so much better

there’s so much more i could rant about but im going insane im so tired and i need psychological help after watching glee so im gonna leave it here and say peace out homies it’s been fun but i need to sleep so bad

Every story ever has its end or the summary of the thoughts on the past #sprousehart era and attempts to change the attitude of others to this illusionary world

Dear fellows, from the very first days of the origin and further existence of mankind on the planet, in each period more and more foundations, irreversible phenomena and laws in nature or the society in which man lived and continues to live appeared. Time is fleeting, night turns to morning, year to year, and every story ever has its end. You can object, say that this is complete nonsense, but unfortunately everything in our world is natural and therefore in the same way one story of two wonderful people - Lili Pauline Reinhart and Cole Mitchell Sprouse - ended.

Their relationship was and will remain one of the most beautiful and unlike in comparison with others, at least based on what I could witness, love story. And even though this love story began seemingly banal with an audition for the role and the set, it was so real, amazing, which many could dream about, with its special feature of gradual disclosure, so enticing, and that is why it probably resonated so much, along with other reasons.

Like any other relationship, this relationship was based on many things and included many reasons for existence. Starting with a slight interest in each other, first liking and flirting, then there was a strong and almost immediate attraction to each other that they both talked about, a passion visible in the way they acted out scenes together and in glimpses of information from others. Then, after some time, the romantic charm passed, and a new stage began – getting used to each other, building a joint life, adapting to the peculiarities and shortcomings of the partner, and it is during this time the couple tries to create a happy and satisfying relationship for each. Accordingly, everyone got a desire to stand out from the other, to be significant not only in the relationship, but also outside of it, which is why they kept their privacy and wanted everyone to perceive them as separate individuals. They clearly tried to control what they shared with the world, and gradually the amount of what they shared increased. We were lucky to witness many, even small, moments in their lives. We were allowed to see the whole development, although some of it was very hidden, starting with the sarcastic banter on Twitter, the tempting 'Tempt me!', then multiple photos of fans with them, then supposedly random photos of Cole, with Lili in the background, or other way around, then many other breadcrumbs, then expanding of the circle of friends where his friends are now hers and vice versa, family meetings following by huge support to the certain time, then an infinity of her photos taken by him, so divine and beautiful, as well as photos taken by her of him, then numerous long or not so long trips to various places, the first vocation trip together which was made public, then 'No comment!', then more words about love in public media, birthday wishes, comments, bouquets just like that and on special days, 72 roses, chocolate-covered strawberries, the way they were baking together, him making a grilled cheese for her, them watching the sunset at Debby's and the other times we haven't seen, the time when Antelope Valley has become an indicator, the most tender words about each other, endless heart eyes, her inability to stop sitting on his lap, and his habit of touching her shoulder, neck, jokes understandable only to them, the words of others about them as if they are friends for 20 years already, knowledge of each other's body language, bragging about wonderful sexy times and the beauty of each other, giving cute nicknames, comfort, joint red carpet moments, him shaking her of joyness, constant support and much more, what we could obviously notice in social networks, interviews, after videos/photos of paparazzi, almost complete idyll at first glance and so on. All this is certainly only what we were allowed to see or what we guessed having observed various facts and over time it has gotten more obvious, and it was an insanely beautiful experience to be a spectator of all this for which I am grateful that is why I sincerely wish myself and all of you to look at it from the point of view that you need to smile because it happened and not cry because it's over. Nevertheless sometimes if you get too involved you can start looking at it through the prism of pink glasses of love and admiration, enjoying every moment they directly or indirectly shared with us, and accordingly, the impression of a fairy tale is being formed that does not quite correctly reflect reality and it does not allow us to perceive the other part on the other side of the screen/social networks, because we simply do not see it. However, I don't want anyone to take it as if I believe that everything they shared was untrue and false, completely out of the blue. All I want to convey to any reader is that everything we saw was only in an unreal bubble of illusions, since the Internet and social networks, which are, after all, this very bubble in its essence, which we ourselves and they decided to form, allowing us to take it as they want and this is normal, and life is very far from perfect or dreamlike. That is to say life is such an unpredictable thing, where everything is justifiably natural and sometimes things just don't work out the way we would like them to, including relationships which are also a complex structure that is not easy to build correctly, sometimes even with a strong attraction and a strong sense of love, there are things that cannot be corrected or changed. As well as you cannot change the essence of a person and his worldview, his personality, internal or external qualities, his behavior, his views on life and goals, his mistakes and position in society, loss of trust, his moral and physical endurance, other side things like sharing very little time for the second half in connection with business or temporary work, unwillingness to accept any conditions, commitment, settling down or restriction of something, lack of compromise, fading feelings because of passed desire and passion, external factors, especially if we are talking about a public couple/popular people, such as dramas in social networks, created by fans or family/friends, stress from the strong involvement of others or non-acceptance of partner selection by relatives, and so on. Just sometimes if after a while two people failed to get accustomed to each other, as if a plant were transplanted into a new soil or some organ to the human body, thanks to some external or internal features, obstacles, be it custom qualities or external influence on each other with the constant tries for the reconstruction of another and over time awareness of the fact that what has been created by the supreme cannot be altered and adjusted for something else, becoming more and more negative, when one of them in its content can no longer learn to cope with the environment and the further continuation of the joint work of the struggle can lead to the bad conditions of both, with exhaustion from this struggle and, accordingly, to the death of cells. And all this exhaustion for whatever reason can also be theoretically and philosophically equated to the bowels of the earth and depleted sources. After all, a person get used to using fresh water, the earth's mineral resources, eating plants and fruits, vegetables, buying things, and so on, but sometimes it happens that this is either limited or ends and nature is no longer able to provide us with anything, after constant giving, and in return receiving only harm or damage. This is a very complex science and this is a life where, as I already said, many things are not the way we picture them to be. So many interpretations and/or reasons can and could be hidden behind all these failures/ends/dissensions/decays/breakups/bad moments in life, and I cannot even list all the options, but I have some general considerations on the specific occasion, but I do not want to start the speculation now and go into details about why and how I think the end of this love story that we all loved happened, cause it is not my business and I am no one to judge someone or even dare to talk about it when I am not them or relative/friend to any of them and I haven't seen the actual period of their relationship and how it was going from the beginning to the end except my own representation of everything based on this social-media bubble, and each of you can have your own thoughts and draw your own conclusions. However, it goes without saying that even after any obstacles, failures and heart and soul break and with the passage of time, everything constantly takes place to change in any way, people change, the behavior change, the attitude change, and so on, one moment the doors are closed, in the other you open them or they are opened for you so in the end a person finds their happiness and purpose despite previous mistakes and shortcomings.

The penultimate thing I want to say is that obviously, after all this, you are already starting to think about something and I really hope so, given what I said about life and bubbles of unreality in our time, and as you gain experience in this fandom and being a fan very much involved in all of this it can be very useful for us to eventually rethink how much we were involved and how much energy we were giving this every time, and I have already made a whole post about this. And particularly good for me were  the recent events when there is no particular food for thought and to be involved, I'm more and more alienated from the lives of other strangers, and the more time passes, the more relaxed I began to react to many things, although it also sometimes was hard to deal with all the drama and speculation, constantly think through all sorts of logical outcomes, since I am such a person by nature and I cannot be calm without a logical conclusion, and I am still digesting the whole situation happening since the beginning of this year with the fandom and the relationship of these two people, however, as much as I would not like to clearly represent everything and have a clear picture now it does not matter, the main thing is that it was and it just needs to step over, swallow and not give too much attention to this, because unfortunately we could not control the whole situation, we could not prevent what happened and what could have happened just because we are not the supreme or these same people and it is not our business.

In conclusion, even if some may think of me as a soulless person or that I do not care about others, know that this is far from it, I just try and will try to find a way out of the situation, reorganize and look at everything objectively and with a grain of salt because I believe that this is the right decision to be detached in any way from someone else's experiences, especially from those who are so far from us, and bad moments, so as not to have any attachment, hope and faith, so that it does not hurt us later. But I am certainly an emotional person and my heart just bursts with pain when I see that many people strongly bring down themselves and suffer from the fact that there was some kind of non-related to them co-ordinal change, although this is not the end of the world, and therefore I consider it my duty to try to somehow distract some of you and calm down on this account, as once I was helped by others and my own search for the right attitude.

me in 2012/2013 reading the first hunger games book because it was popular bc of the movie: ooh seems cool but super political so that’s not cool bc political stuff is boring and stupid and not something that i’ll ever have to understand. plus all katniss does is fucking whinge. she’s so whiny. it’s annoying. guess i won’t read the rest of the books or watch the other movies.

me now, in my mid 20s having finally watched all the hunger games movies, having read the first two HG books in full and still reading mockingjay, all because suzanne collins was like “oh hey here’s a new book about president snow!” and also thinking about how the world is practically in ruins by 2020: yknow what? suzy has a fucking point! of course katniss is whiny, teenage me, she comes from the poorest district in the whole of Panem; where wealth is basically non existent except for those who live in shops. the capitol loves to watch 24 kids die each year while they live in extreme comfort and fancy, whereas every district from 2 down to 12 are all slaves to the capitol: even if they have some better off people in the districts, that work for the army (district 2) or run the electronics factories in district 3 or whatever else in the other districts. besides the motto of Panem’s capitol being “breads and circuses” which are provided by the districts; which katniss and peeta meet in Catching Fire, at the party for their state media orchestrated wedding (Y I K E S™️ am i right?) where octavia (one of katniss’ stylists) invites both katniss and peeta to use some funny concoction to make themselves throw up in the bathroom to fit more of the overly decadent capitol food dishes into their stomachs. talk about “waste not, want not” somewhere else away from katniss; because she’s literally almost starved to death and seen others starve to death countless times in district 12. and surely you could’ve recognised the reference to “bread and circuses” at least, after fucking studying ancient rome for two whole fucking terms in year 11, teenage me????

in addition to the above, the victors of the hunger games are forever terrorised by the government via various means; and especially so if they’ve defied the capitol like katniss & peeta or even haymitch (though that isn’t partly revealed til halfway through catching fire and wholly revealed through haymitch in mockingjay). they torture peeta to insanity, basically and then seemingly “deliver” him back to katniss in district 13 programmed to kill her!!!! they parade the tributes like beauty pageant contestants and animals for slaughter at a cattle show in district 10; right after training them as killing machines for the arena, where they’ll exhibit their newly honed murdering skills before an entire nation each day. like girl!!!! there’s so much to relate to the real world in this text!!! but you’re just going to brush it off because it’s “too political” and because “katniss is a whiny bitch!!!”??? like of course she’s whiny! she’s 16/17!!! just like you!!! but you’re just an asshole. learn to empathise with other fictional characters that A R E N T harry potter and the cast of characters in that series, for fucks sake. or alternatively, learn to empathise with characters that A R E N T ellie linton and her friends in the tomorrow series doing their guerilla fighting during a war in australia. because by Mockingjay, katniss is as much a guerilla fighter as ellie is a rebel fighter against the enemy country that invades australia in the tomorrow series. like yes, the tomorrow series isn’t set in a futuristic american post-apocalyptic hellscape like Panem. but that doesn’t mean that the state war that’s fully raging in mockingjay and breaking out in catching fire, due to the quarter quell and the former tributes being recruited again to go through the Murder Olympics™️/Hunger Games again as a form of state sanctioned terrorisation on their psyches, and those victors becoming enemies of Panem due to them voicing their feelings of injustice about being forced to compete in the arena again during their interviews...... is not the same as ellie in normal but war-torn 1990s australia; where ellie and her crew of friends basically become state enemies because of their large scale guerilla activities like blowing up enemy ships and airfields. just like how katniss and gale blow up bombing airships from the capitol in district 8 with their bomb loaded arrows or blow up the military base with rebel army fighters in district 2 in mockingjay. but yeah. just learn to empathise and connect with/relate to characters outside of your incredibly limited reading palate.

moreover, 7-8 years into the future in 2020, the world is in political turmoil, believe it or not. maybe you’ll relate to katniss as you grow more tired of the aussie government forever penalising the younger generations by taking away penalty rates on weekend and public holiday shifts in an already terrifyingly precarious job market that’s become highly casualised/part-time based, which is pricing them out of the property market also, due to lower wages/earnings bc part-time/casual roles don’t pay very well. then on top of that, having a generation defining pandemic. then thirdly, also having the worst set of bushfires in 2019 and earlier this year, that saw like 55million native animals die and millions upon millions of hectares of bushland be burnt to the ground. finally, they’ve made your dream arts degree basically unobtainable due to raising the fees by 113% to $43,500 instead of the $23,000 that it was when i graduated from that degree in 2018. also if you fail they want you to pay your fees upfront instead of relying on hecs to cover it all. all because it’s apparently for “saving the aussie economy.” are you pissed now, teenage me?

across the seas in america, however, donald trump is leading the country as president and he’s turning the country you bizarrely loved more than your home country (due to all the american docos and teen shows you watched/were watching) into a fascist shitshow which is killing millions of people. like i won’t be surprised if donald trump (or even scott morrison/scommo/scummo) if he/they get/s another term in office, and tries to introduce a hunger games style olympic games or something all so the poorest classes learn their place after rioting for most of this year over BASIC FUCKING HUMAN RIGHTS FOR BLACK LIVES MATTER (even here in australia too); because the police are turning into the brutal peacekeepers of Panem, but on a worldwide scale.

like if they introduced some type of HG style murder olympics, they’d do it just to prove that they may have actually read something other than their own stupid self-aggrandising and country/state-destroying twitter rants before they post them.

Asahi Shinbun Interview with Akane Kazuki

“Original animes are now showing their true value.” - On the feelings that director Akane Kazuki has put into his latest work, “Hoshiai no Sora”.

One challenging TV animation began airing in October 2019. The title of the series is “Hoshiai no Sora”.

In the past, many TV animes were original works, but as of late, animes often have a source material. It can be said that the ratio of “anime adaptations” of source materials is between over 60% and over 80%. “Hoshiai no Sora” is an original anime, which is rare nowadays.

Akane Kazuki-san, the director, original creator and screenwriter, had made three original animes until now. Yet all of them were sci-fi and fantasy, their stories unfolding through “unrealistic” themes. However, unlike Director Akane’s works up to this point, “Hoshiai no Sora” is a “realistic” story that has the youth of middle school boys as its theme.

Why did he decide to make one more original anime, with a theme that he had never written about before? The motive was hidden in the roots of Director Akane’s entry in the anime industry.

Raw || Index

Coming in contact with the possibility of an original anime through “Gundam”

One of the reasons why Director Akane decides to aim for the anime industry was that he “felt the potential of anime”. At the time, many directors, such as Miyazaki Hayao and Tomino Yoshiyuki, were creating original works that did not have a source material and enlivening the anime industry. Director Akane was greatly influenced by them.

“When I was a child, after watching Steven Spielberg’s ‘Encounter with the Unknown’ and George Lucas’s ‘Star Wars’, I began looking up to international live action movies. There were many works amongst the live action movies from overseas that were exciting, fun and insane to watch, and I could feel an essence of entertainment from them. On the other hand, several of the Japanese live action movies were focused on realistic artistry and not very entertaining.”

“Then, I watched the works of Miyazaki-san and Tomino-san and they had me going, ‘This is entertainment! Japan can also make entertainment-type works!’. At the same time, I felt that we could be entering an anime era from that point onward.”

After graduating from university, Director Akane joined Sunrise. Under Director Tomino Yoshiyuki, father of the “Kidou Senshi Gundam” series and one of the people who motivated Director Akane to aim for the anime industry, he was in charge of the production progress of original robot anime works.

Starting with the Gundam series, Director Tomino created countless original animes. Director Akane was charmed by the way that Director Tomino made his series.

“In Tomino-san’s settings, I already required to insert my own ideas. With Tomino-san’s plots as base, the writers would make the scenarios, and the responsibility for their content fell upon the storyboard writers, but if we made storyboards that were exactly like the screenplay, Tomino-san would get angry. ‘Put more ideas into it,’ he would say. ‘I’m already giving so many ideas, so why won’t you guys give some too?!’ (laughs). For original animes, in order to make the series interesting, we had the duty of sprinkling and hammering our ideas into it while having constant questions about it. Witnessing this at twenty years of age, I came in contact with the enjoyment of making original animes.”

From this experience, Director Akane started to think that making original animes was something natural for animation directors.

The decline of original animes | The sense of two impeding crises that he had been observing

Having left Sunrise and turned into a freelancer, Director Akane birthed original animes one after another. He worked as the director, original creator and series composer of “Geneshaft” (2001), “Heat Guy J” (2002) and “Noein: Mou Hitori no Kiki e” (2005). However, along with the passage of time, the difficulties of creating an original anime increased. This was because the fact that the public became able to purchase anime films (VHS and DVD) gave rise to a climate of concern for the film sales in the industry as a whole.

“Original animes take a great deal of workload and costs for the production and advertisement. Still, you have to release them in order to know if they will be a success. On one hand, animes that have a popular source material such as mangas, light novels and games have their stories and characters ready, and you know they will sell to a certain extent even if there is not much propaganda for them.”

And so, the number of projects for original animes saw a steady decrease. Currently, most of the animes being broadcasted are series that have source materials. In these circumstances, Director Akane claims that he can sense two impeding crisis.

“The first is: I feel that the viewers have begun to grow tired of anime. When they have a source material, people can get excited over the developments even without watching it in earnest. I wonder if they are becoming unable to watch anime seriously. If I had to say it, anime is turning into a sashimi accompaniment nowadays. Social medias are the sashimi and anime is the grated radish. People watch anime in order to talk about it in social medias. Anime is becoming a tool for communication. For us, the creators, this is destructive.

The second is the decline of the anime industry. That is because the people who have the know-how for making original animes are disappearing. Many of today’s young animators enter this industry after watching animes that have source materials. The number of people who aimed for this industry out of wanting to create original animes has truly decreased. It is exactly because things are this way now that we need original animes.”

Breaking the patterns of traditional animation and opening up a new path

“Hoshiai no Sora” is the original anime that Director Akane took roughly fourteen years to make after “Noein: Mou Hitori no Kimi e”. With the sense of impeding crisis as his trigger, the thought that “we must advance with new ramifications and possibilities of animation” sprouted within Director Akane himself.

“When I thought about what young people use their money for these days, I concluded that they use it for ‘experiences’. That they might be paying to experience things they would not be able taste anywhere else, such as live concerts and events. When I pondered what could be the equivalent to a live concert in terms of anime, I figured that original animes feel like lives. Original animes, I thought, can create experiences that you can only have a taste of through them, since nobody has seen them before, so there is excitement when they are watched for the first time upon being broadcasted, and all sorts of emotions stir up because you cannot predict the future developments.”

In order to have the viewers feel that “experience”, what he was particularly conscious of was the “story”. Until now, he had been the creator, director and series composer of his original animes, but this time, he was the creator, director and screenwriter. Moreover, the setting this time was not a fanciful world of sci-fi or fantasy, but instead is a “realistic” story that depicts the youth of students. As “unrealistic” stories about the isekai theme have been increasing in number in the past years, Director Akane has put into it his intentions of being able to further amplify the feeling of a live concert through a realistic story.

“In ‘Hoshiai no Sora’, the story is portrayed through breaking the barriers of conventional anime. Several of the animes being aired nowadays have the role of ‘a place to escape to’. Many series depict impossible things in hilarious and crazy ways, forgetting about common life. That is by no means bad, but I believe anime should also have other functions. I aimed for a story that would not be simply funny, comfortable to watch or emotional, but that would throw themes at the viewers and make them ponder on ‘What do you think of this phenomenon?’ with me. I want to reflect the conflicts and troubles shouldered by the people who are living in the present, as well as the current era, through anime. Additionally, I want to show a new path not just for the audience but also for the people currently involved with anime production, that ‘this way of making anime also exists’.”

“Hoshiai no Sora” portrays children of the current times

And so, on October 2019, “Hoshiai no Sora” aired at last. Starting with its project, this work took a period of about three years to be made. In regards to its production, Director Akane states that he interviewed young people who are from the same generation and environment as the featured characters.

“This time, when I received the story, I reminisced to my childhood first-thing. The child characters who appear in anime look like they are having fun and are portrayed as though they symbolize nostalgia, but is it really like that in real life? When I looked back into my childhood, there was a lot of constraint, irritation towards myself and others, those kinds of things. So above all, I wanted to depict this properly. But this time, even though I could write as much as I felt like about my own childhood frustrations, I wanted to write about the frustrations of present-time children. The environment that children are put in nowadays is becoming much more complicated than in the era I was raised. I wanted to write about the children who live in it through anime.”

“That is why I did interviews first of all. In those interviews, I found that, along with the evolution of the times, children felt things that adults are incapable of feeling. Nevertheless, when adults do not understand this, I noticed that they often disavow young kids without listening to them. I thought that, if I also portrayed this part of it, the younglings might watch the anime seriously as if it were them.”

What livens up this crafted story is the “art style”, which gives off a soft impression. It is said that the adoption of anime-like cutesy illustrations in contrast with the realistic story was the producer’s suggestion. Since people cannot tell what kind of story an original anime with no source material will be until they watch it, he made use of the idea that they would be drawn into the anime by its art and gradually get pulled into the story. Introducing people to a realistic story through an unrealistic element - one could take this as a form of expression that can be achieved exactly because it is an anime.

In 2005’s “Noein: Mou Hitori no Kimi e”, “new” techniques were adopted, such as the CGI outlines and the fact that the animation style changed on every episode, which was rare for the animes of the time. Just like that, Director Akane always shows us viewers a new “something”. This deepened the expectations that “Hoshiai no Sora” would also surely show us something novel.

“When watching the series, one might at first have the impression that it is about the activities of a middle school boys’ soft tennis club, a sports thing. However, it is a drama that depicts not just this, but also the frustrations and troubles that middle schoolers shoulder these days, including the adults who cause them. It reflects the nature of the current times and presents questions, as we have tried all kinds of devices to make people think, regardless of whether they are young children or adults. It is different from the patterns of anime that people have being seeing until now, so there might be viewers who were at loss. I think they could not have imagined how the story would turn out (laughs). With this included, I want everyone to have fun watching it.”

read about ori and the dark forest under the cut

STATS:

full name: orion neveah kanha. nickname(s): ori, ri, rion. age: 23. date of birth: January 1st 1997. hometown: newport, rhode island. gender: cis female. religion: athiest. sexuality: bisexual. hair colour: black (xx) eye colour: brown. height: 5'6. tattoos: a snake swirling from midforearm down to her wrist like so, (xx) piercings: ears, double piercing.  

blackmail

has 0 care for the elites or its establishment, thinks it’s a farce. they only joined to gain some clout for their gaming channel since that’s all they work for, but they’ll lie and say they love it while bashing the club to online players in secret.  

cheated in a giant game tournament that was worth up to $5,000. she needed that money to survive and pay rent - did anything to cheat, even if that meant hacking the other despite bragging about how humble and hard-working she is, she stooped so low, going back on her word.

in order to stay in her game design program, she had to sleep with her professor - her grades were dropping and was more focused on gaming than classes, would have done anything to stay in the program

family life

DRUGS TW. PRISON TW.

the kanha family, two parents - josiah & sage kanha and their only daughter, orion. orion was spoiled with not doubt, everything she wanted - she got. she never complained, never really asked for much but since she was the only daughter - her parents wanted nothing but the best for her. although, growing up with that wealth she never took it's luxuries. she went to a public school her entire life, she never really talked about her family's wealth, she didn't care much for it, her parents came from generations of hard workers and that's all she'll brag about - is their family business and name, she's proud of it - or was once.

orion and her parents were always happy little family, love and support from both sides.. well.. until......

the kanha family has been a generational wealthy family, old money, if you please, and were originally known for its pizza chain all across america and even pretty famous back in thailand. three generations worth of publicity for their amazing, tasting pizza - even new york would argue that their pizza is better than new york's pizza!

the business has been running since 1992 and failed in 2016, why's that? well miss orion has a big mouth and heart in the wrong place. which gets her in trouble later, but that's a later issue.

the kanha family has a shady side to their business as well, they also sell wads of cocaine under the belt to different members of the mafia / mob and have been since the 90's when the mafia would bury their evidence in old buildings but as times begin to change, so did the way of dealing.

the pizza store was always a cash only store which made it easier for banks to never track transactions and launder wads of cash from their coke deals.

until orion came across her dad and some mafia head leader making an exchange and she overheard them and immediately made the call to the police when she was 19, a year into her college degree, and told them of the exchange and then there was a whole year investigation into her fathers business and a lot of places were shut down and her family lost A  LOT of money and her lawyers and accountants have told them it'll take a while to generate that much wealth again - then again most of the wealth came from drug money.

her parents think the mafia tipped them off, thus causing cut in ties and her dad to go to prison for a while (20 years). she had to carry that guilt for years although, she doesn't feel all too bad because her dad was making money deals in the wrong way. her mom still cries about it, won't be able to see her husband for twenty years but it's okay, orion will make it big as a game designer one day .. aha..

fun facts / personality

orion is a.. hot head, she gets angry easily and that just came from a place of competition. she was a very active kid, she was involved in many different sports - soccer, volleyball, lacrosse, you name it - she was good at everything and she sure hecking loved to win. she also channeled a lot of her anger into boxing because that's what her mom told her to do. long story short, she loves winning

which then became a hobby, she fricken loves video games like .. a lot, she built a career her senior year of college by streaming and since then she garnered a lot of online popularity. already being known from the kanha drug money scandal helped a lot too and she makes a decent living off of it, getting paid between 5-6k a month on a video she makes. her favorite games are always first person shooters, like COD / PUBG, she will play those games in tournaments and even to the big leagues which offer a lot of money. she does like RPG games such as ori and the blind forest and gears of war but first person shooters are where it's at, and shes damn well good at aiming, and tactics.

she's a computer science major at first in her undergrad that helped her understand coding, hacking and all that - that comes with comp sci - how to build an app, what logistics go into it and such and minored in video game design. she then did her graduate in game design and science and is working on her own games as she speaks. she's really talented in what she does, and is always boastful about it.

orion, despite being a hot head, also literlaly -- hates drugs. she hates the idea of smoking and drinking and would rather remove herself whenever someone near her is smoking or drinking, she won't shun the person but her family's scandal was enough to put a distaste in her mouth. she thinks people who act silly from it are weak and should speak their minds when their sober.

that's another thing, she will speak her mind. she stands up for what she believes in, she's always humble and thankful for what she has but also will stand up in the face of injustice which is funny because she thinks she's so hardworking and then she's a hypocrite for sleeping with her professor and cheating in a game, guess the kanha family gene of being a liar runs through her veins huh?

she's a very loyal friend, like.. insanely loyal, she doesn't like being made to be a dumbass and will cut someone. like i said, these hands are rated e for everyone.

a lot of her high school life she kept to herself but she really blossomed in college the most.

she loves to draw!! sketching is what she mostly does, a lot of gaming character designs are up in her apartment, sometimes she likes to do pottery and make vases and paint. she's not good at it but she likes to

she's friendly to those that are friendly and a bitch when she can be, she matches energy.. uh that's it i think

favorite color is red <3 has a cat <3 likes sushi <3 that's about it muah

I am caffeinated and quarantined and ready to lay out all of my thoughts as to why Taylor has yet to come out, the obstacles that will have to be addressed before she comes out, and therefore create a timeline as to when she will come out and what that will look like. I don’t know about all of you, but I find myself constantly questioning why this is all happening. Why has Taylor not come out yet? Why does she purposefully leave so many clues if she doesn't want to come out yet? Does she enjoy making us feel insane like the sick masochist that she is? Why has it felt like she’s about to come out several times but then she backtracks? What’s complicating this process? How long will we have to wait? Over the years, Taylor has enjoyed watching other people attempt to piece together the story about her love life and understand who and what she writes about. However, when she comes out I do think she will want to set the record straight (ha) in as many ways as possible without damaging her reputation or the reputation of anyone with whom she has had any sort of relationship. However, before she can come out, she will need to be in an optimal situation with her masters, the best timing possible for maximum impact and best optics, and Karlie's reputation/life to not be destroyed in the process. 

This MANIFESTO of a blog post does presume several things. 

Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss are both either bi or gay and both desire to come out publicly at some point.

They had a relationship.

They are likely still together. If not, they are still friends who care about the wellbeing of the other person and they are also in communication about koincidences. 

If they are together, they purposefully made their relationship private to protect both of them (mainly Karlie) and have more control over their public narratives after kissgate and significant public speculation that their "friendship" was something more. 

Karlie's relationship with JK is fake. Their marriage is not legal and there is likely a contract that provides prescriptive guidance for how she publicly portrays and discusses their relationship. This contract was likely made to provide Karlie with career opportunities and to provide JK with a beard- I do not believe that it is directly financial but it could be as well. 

It’s clear that Taylor first started wanting to come out after she had already reached incredible success. It is unclear how this timeline occurred. Was she already out to herself and her family before her career even began? Did she originally intend to remain publicly closeted for her entire career? Did she go through a period of denial about her sexuality? I think the closest thing to answers we have to questions like these are clues within her music. I do believe her motifs of blue, darkness, shade, and secrecy mainly lead back to being closeted while her motifs of gold, sun, daylight, and public affection reference being out and proud. Interpret what you will from her writing and the timeline of her albums. To me, this does point to Taylor originally wanting to remain intensely closeted (hence beards and their massive publicity and the potential for some of those relationships to have been “real”, although this is a conversation for another day), later on wanting to remain quite secretive about her relationships with women, and most recently yearning to not be secretive any longer. It seems like her music points to wanting to come out- so why hasn’t it happened yet?

She knows that coming out is going to generate attention and sales. It would make the most sense that she wants to own her masters at the same time that she comes out. This is a major factor of why we're still waiting and will likely be waiting until the rerecordings come out or she makes a deal to get ownership of the masters. The clues along the way are a way to maintain some level of authenticity, to create buzz, and to create The Story that will undoubtedly one day be highly scrutinized and publicized. I do believe that The Story (as I will be referring to it) has been in the works for quite some time and that Taylor does plan to shed light on it at the time that she comes out. The Story will include as much truth as possible about her relationships. After Miss Americana came out and Lana Wilson insinuated that there is more of her story to tell, I do think it is possible that she will release another documentary alongside her coming out. However, this is pure speculation and an extremely biased view as I personally believe that would be very sexy and cool of her.

Part of this marketing scheme does come off as distasteful, but I do think it's less about her wanting more money and more about her wanting SB to not profit off of this or have any control or say in the message that she wants to communicate. Ultimately, a large piece of this unknown timeline will be revealed before or in November 2020. If they haven't made a deal for Taylor’s ownership by then, I assume she will publicly reveal if she is rerecording and potentially begin to promote her rerecordings. Worth noting, it is my belief that if there is follow through with the rerecordings that they will be copycat records intended to sound as identical as possible. I am hopeful for the "original" versions to come to light one day (I want her midnights and she never loved me deserve premium recordings), but I don't think it would make much financial sense to release these instead of the copycats (we can hope for alongside, but it doesn't seem too likely). At the end of the day, the masters situation will resolve one way or another by the rerecording date.

We should also generally be aware of timing. Taylor is going to want to create maximum distance between her and any direct negativity before she comes out along with any other major events (pandemics, elections, big news stories, etc.). This is definitely the point I will harp on the least, but something to keep in mind if something happens that harms her public image down the line (please god not again). I’ve considered that she may want to keep her coming out to “use” when she starts to get less popular or when society stops “tolerating her being successful”, but I don’t think that will happen anytime soon. I do believe that it will coincide with an album release just because that would be sickening.

This is not to say that once the optimal situation for her masters is obtained, Taylor has no other reason to not come out. It doesn't matter whether she and Karlie are currently still together, The Story includes Karlie in an undeniable way since it is clear that they were in a relationship for a few years at the minimum. I really don't think Taylor would want to come out without being able to address their relationship. However, the narrative would completely depend on if they are still together or not. If they are no longer together, that may be more incentive to consider a possibility of her coming out without addressing Karlie. Since I personally believe they are still together, I will be addressing the potential narratives for Karlie from that perspective. 

One option to consider beforehand is the storyline that Karlie and Taylor were close friends but never together. They each have their own relationships that eventually end for unrelated reasons (meaning eventual JK divorce and oatmilk disappearance), then they rekindle their "friendship" and "start" a relationship around the time that Taylor comes out. I don't like this idea because it, in essence, defeats the purpose of The Story. If this is the time to come clean, be vulnerable, be honest, this is a significant lie to keep. And at the end of the day, the truth is in Taylor's discography. The albums point to a secret relationship, not just pining for a friend or whatever that storyline is.

The way I see it, once The Story is laid out, the two major narrative avenues are decided by claiming whether the Karlie JK relationship was real or not. If the choice is made to support its legitimacy, they could spin this relationship in a number of ways.

They could choose to portray it as on again off again. This would leave a partial timeline open for a relationship with Taylor. They could cite infinite believable reasons for the JK relationship being this way (K*shner/Tr*mp family issues, distance issues, typical relationship issues, etc.). This narrative allows Karlie to not be portrayed as a cheater, JK to not be portrayed as a horrible person that would put a vulnerable 19-year-old at the start of her career in a long-term bearding contract, allows JK’s sexuality to not be questioned, and allows their relationship’s authenticity to go unquestioned. I do think this is the most likely narrative if it is chosen to portray Karlie and JK’s relationship as legitimate even after it ends. After all, Karlie has already stated publicly that they have “been through a lot together” and that “it hasn’t been easy” and they met it 2012 when it was “a different world” (WWHL, January 2020). They could also take the tangential route that they were not exclusive at the beginning of their relationship, but I am not sure when it was definitively publicly confirmed that they were together; although it is confirmed that they met in 2012, they could emphasize that they were friends at first or not exclusive. They were interacting with each other online on a routine basis by 2013. This included them liking each other’s posts, posting pictures of one another, posting the same picture, or posting in the same location (many of these have been proven to be latergrams and don’t seem like natural relationship posting, but that’s beside the point). In June 2015, Karlie posted a photo of them together with a caption wishing him a happy birthday and thanking him for “three years of love and laughs”. However, there was still speculation in the comments at the time over whether they were a couple or close friends. Their engagement was announced in 2018, so there is potential to create a storyline in which JK and Karlie were just friends since 2012, Taylor and Karlie dated, then JK and Karlie dated and married, JK and Karlie divorced, and then Taylor and Karlie got back together. I don’t think this is likely but I think it is worth considering since in hindsight the announcement of their relationship seems to have been kept purposefully vague, specifically when it comes to timeline. Maybe that was intended to keep their maximum options open when considering their likely eventual separation narrative.

They could choose to portray Karlie as someone who cheated on her relationship with JK with Taylor. I do not think this is a likely option as it would damage Karlie’s reputation, although they could attempt to make a sympathetic appeal. Karlie has been "with" JK since she was 19, and I don't think they would purposefully promote the narrative that she cheated on the man that she later married. As I am racking my brain for all possible options, I suppose they could make an appeal that they had an open or polyamorous relationship, but that would be low-key insane considering their largely girl-next-door personas. But hey, you cannot say that I am not thorough and thinking outside the bun.

They could choose the narrative that their relationship was partially authentic and partially inauthentic. They could use the storyline that they “fell out of love” (ha) but chose to remain close friends and not go public with their break up. This is highly unlikely because their “marriage” occurred after her and Taylor were so publicly close. There is also no clear motive for doing this other than bearding so it does call into question JK’s sexuality.

They could also choose to reveal the JK Karlie relationship as fake. However, this would put JK in a difficult position and it’s almost unimaginable that he would be okay with it. I think there is an extremely unlikely possibility that he would want to publicly come out and create some sort of best-friends-mutually-bearding-without-any-contract-narrative. 

So, what are the other options? Well, she could tell (what I believe to be) the truth. She signed a contract in order to boost her modeling career, her marriage wasn't legally legitimate, and they never had an actual relationship. It certainly makes her choices and The Story make sense, but it would have endless ramifications. We have no way of knowing what the contract terms look like. It makes JK look like a terrible person, it puts his sexuality into question, and it makes Karlie look inauthentic (even though she has done a great job of mostly separating him from her public persona). I would genuinely not want to make an enemy out of a Kushner for fear of the safety of myself and my loved ones. It's a scary thing to make an enemy of someone who has so much power that they are virtually above the law. However, if there's anything we learned from the sale of the masters or the call, it's that publicity and public perception changes the options that are on the table. If Karlie and Taylor come out with the full (what I believe to be) truth, the world might see them in the way that most of us see them. Karlie was young, and was taken advantage of, and trapped into something she did not want. They were both struggling with and deciding if/how/when to come out publicly. Taylor was dealing with intense public scrutiny and the sale of her masters. They had no options to be honest about their relationship publicly. This option makes everything known, including their fear of the revenge JK and others might take against them, financially or otherwise. This results in anything they do in revenge receiving public backlash. If we're being honest here, this is my favorite narrative option purely because it's not a narrative; it's the truth. At the end of the day, we all love Taylor and her music and therefore want to know her and understand her on a deeper level. We all want the BRILLIANCE of her closeted writing to be properly admired for what it is. I think we all also want Taylor to feel loved and understood for who she truly is and what she's truly been through. Part of this is going to happen through being as honest as possible.

There is also the issue of oatmilk. Since she has literally never confirmed that they are actually dating (other than the sarcastic “she asked my boyfriend”, and the NME kiss (?)), she could take the route that they were always just friends. From this, should could take credit for the purposeful bearding, say that she just let it happen and let the media interpret their friendship that way and it didn’t bother her, or blame the media for spreading misinformation (which would be annoying because she clearly encouraged it). She could also break them up and legitimize their relationship, but that obviously takes away from the authenticity of her music and story. Either way, I feel like getting rid of oatmilk will be the easiest part of this process.

IN CONCLUSION, there are still many important issues to consider when we wonder why Taylor hasn’t come out yet and we shouldn’t use our impatience as reasoning to say that she is not gay. I believe that all of these issues would have to align or resolve in some way before she comes out. With any luck, it will be with TS8. However, the major wild card to consider is Karlie’s relationship with JK. We truly have no idea what this contract looks like, especially after the predicted end date last year was acknowledged by Karlie (instagram freedom post, seven long years tweet) and then still continued. We can hope that the public separation has been outlined in her renewal or that she would be safe in an exposé process, but nothing is certain. Ultimately, we all want the both of them to be happy and feel loved and appreciated for who they truly are, and to have control over the narrative they want.

Fuckin hell this is way too long but feel free to DM me with any questions because I clearly have too much time on my hands!! Peace and blessings

20 in 10: A Drama Retrospective

Since I’ve been all quiet on the drama front this year because of life reasons, I thought it would be fun to go back and pick out 20 of the most memorable dramas of the last decade. Maybe not necessarily the best dramas or even my favorites (although some are!), but two dramas each year that were somehow notable moments in my drama-watching timeline.

2009: Gateway Drugs

Boys over Flowers (KBS)

This is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a good drama. It is not one I think I can ever really rewatch (although I will happily revisit the 2005 Japanese version, and I had a hellava fun time watching the latest Chinese version). But! It was the first kdrama I remember watching, and the first step on the slippery slope of eventually becoming a Drama Addict. I mostly remember it being crazy popular on places like mysoju (RIP), and so I checked it out due to curiosity, and the rest, as they say, is history. Or, should I say, almost paaaaradise!

You’re Beautiful (SBS)

This one I also watched because it became crazy-popular online, and curiosity got the better of me. I really didn’t know much about k-pop prior to dramas, so I had no idea until after this drama that k-pop was more about pretty people in crazy fashion, dancing in syncopation in bizarrely lit rooms, rather than playing instruments. Because it was thanks to this drama that I got my crash-course on k-pop as a phenomenon -- both the fandom side, and the crazy things that artists have to go through to claw their way into the public’s view (nevar 4get the glorious ramen dance). Since Angel was a group that played instruments, and Hongki and Yonghwa were also from groups that played instruments, I assumed that all kpop were groups that played instruments. Oh, sweet summer child...

But it did get me started on my k-pop journey, first falling in love with FT Island and CNBLUE, before falling into the rabbit hole of the other prominent groups of the day. (SNSD! The Wonder Girls! Super Junior! DBSK! SS501! Kara! 2PM! 2AM! Shinee! BEG! Epik High! U-KISS! All the debut groups, like 2NE1, MBLAQ, B2ST, 4Minute, f(x), T-ara, After School... basically 2009 was a magical year in k-pop.)

If I had just watched Boys Over Flowers, I don’t know that I would have become a Drama Addict. But You’re Beautiful pushed me closer to the edge, with the zany humor of the Hong Sisters (and the desire for a pig-bunny of my own!). It would really be Coffee Prince that would push me over the edge, but that aired in 2007 so it doesn’t count for this list. But I had to mention it anyway, because, well, it’s Coffee Prince and where my love for Handsome Oppa began.

2010: More Than Candy

The Woman Who Wants To Marry (MBC)

A lot of the dramas I watched at first had that typical “Candy” character, the poor-but-scrappy girl who would somehow be saved by the guy and become the Cinderella she never knew she wanted to be. So it was a delight when I encountered women who were not only older than high-school-age or early twenties, but in their thirties, with rich full lives! Plus, this was one of my earliest introductions to the concept of the “noona romance” (a concept that I’ve since heartily embraced, of course). I started it primarily because Kim Bum was my favorite of the Flower Boys, but I stuck with it because I fell in love with the women (and I still have a girl-crush on Bu-ki).

Harvest Villa (tvn)

This show is insane. But in the good way, the way that the writer intended, and not in the “are a bunch of monkeys typing this script?” train-wreck way. There was basically no buzz about this show, and I feel like I somehow accidentally stumbled over it, but it was love at first sight. I’ve never forgotten the late hours binging it, being so sucked into the story that I absolutely had to finish it as soon as I could, disappointed that there wasn’t more of it to enjoy when I finally finished, bleary-eyed and sleep-deprived, but satisfied.

I then later gobbled down this writer’s next drama, and her next drama, and the next, until everyone else finally realized thanks to Signal that Kim Eun-hee was as amazing a writer as I kept insisting to anyone who would listen (aka no one).

2011: To Binge or Not To Binge?

White Christmas (KBS)

I did not watch White Christmas in 2011. I actually watched it in 2013. I was always a steadfast binger, preferring to wait until the buzz about a show would sway me into spending my precious free-time watching something that would be worth my while (not that my drama choices were always good, but at least I tried to avoid the duds). I still prefer to binge, since waiting weeks for new episodes is vaguely frustrating when I want to know what happens next, right now! Plus, I’m very good at forgetting that I’m watching a show in the week-long wait for new episodes, and then just... never picking it back up again.

Despite watching White Christmas a couple years after it aired, it remains one of my favorites, and one I love to rewatch, even though I’ve already experienced  whodunnit cliff-hangers and psychological rollercoasters. It became a tradition of sorts here on tumblr for a bunch of us to rewatch it over the holiday season -- alas, I haven’t joined in that tradition for the past couple of years, but I hope that somewhere in this blue hell hole that there are a loyal few keeping the tradition alive.

At least we have this drama to thank for bringing us all the model-actors that were new and clueless in White Christmas, but would later go on to be leading men in their own right. Of course, some of them haven’t exactly made the best drama choices (*cough*SungJoon*cough*), but then there are others (*cough*SooHyuk*cough*) that I’m impatiently waiting for to pick up a new drama so I can see those post-army abs.

Tree With Deep Roots (SBS)

This is the first drama that I recall live-watching. I vaguely remember regretting it at the time, since it was agony waiting for new episodes, but it was also fun to have a week to speculate and ponder the show. And what a beautiful show to ponder! This was also one of the few sageuks I actually watched, being generally intimidated by anything longer than 16-20 episodes, and my historical knowledge was a little shaky (before embracing my inner nerd and diving into mundane historical stuff just so I could better understand whatever drama I was watching at the time).

I don’t think I intended to continue live-watching shows, preferring the ease of binging at my own pace and schedule. But that was when I was still a casual, innocent addict, and not someone who would eventually make dramas a huge part of her life.

2012: The Joy of Overthinking

Gaksital (KBS)

Having had a taste of live-watching, I started to live-watch enough dramas to the point where I began to make notes about the premiere weeks. It was only a couple at a time, and binging was still my preferred way to watch, but now I was delighting in being part of the fandom, sharing in speculation each week, posting my thoughts on dramas and analyzing them to my heart’s content -- even though I knew no one except me would read my ridiculous essays.

But I started to feel more comfortable sharing my opinion with the world, interacting with fandom and not merely content to be a consumer, but gradually becoming a producer as well.

Reply 1997 (tvN)

This is it. This is when I went full-on Drama Addict. This is the tipping point from casual fan who quietly kept to herself, to becoming someone who stood on the mountain top yelling about ALL THE DRAMAS ALL THE TIME. I began to interact with other fans! To swap theories and share squee-worthy moments! I even watched episodes RAW just because of how desperate I was to know what happened, and even though the Busan accent stumped me more than once, it made me realize that my casual study of Korean was something to take seriously since I understood more than I gave myself credit for.

It was also the first time any post I made got more than a handful of notes, since I’d mostly hovered in the “less than 10 notes per post” category at the time. I was so proud of myself back then!

(This drama also notably marks the start of my Hoya obsession, which continues to this day.)

2013: Tumblr Friends (and Foes)

Flower Boy Next Door (tvN)

Having made myself comfortable on tumblr as a Drama Addict, I then discovered some other dedicated fans -- many of which I still follow to this day and who are now just a permanent part of my dash, no matter what their current interests may be -- in the FBND squad.

But I also discovered Kim Seul-gi as the Webtoon Editor (who I still love and adore and continue to use as my avatar), and her adorable romance with Dong-hoon remains one of my forever OTPs. As much as I enjoyed the drama romances, I’d never fallen so deeply for one to be so obsessed by it as I was Webtoon Editor and Dong-hoon. And tbh I still am. They’re just so adorable and pragmatic and she buys him a bag. Ugh. I love her so much, you guys.

Heirs (SBS)

Ah, yes. This hot mess.

I don’t know what possessed me to live-blog each episode. But I did. With snarky commentary and terrible screencaps. And suddenly I went from maybe 200 followers to over a 1000. That was a total shock! I met a lot of people because of that (and made some friends, as well as a few enemies who didn’t appreciate my opinion of certain characters), and ensconced myself as part of the drama-blogging crew.

It was from this that someone suggested I apply to be a minion at Dramabeans. Back then, I had a lot more free time than I do now, and I was watching a lot of dramas that Dramabeans didn’t cover, and wished they did so I could read more opinions about those shows. So I thought, “Eh, why not? It can’t hurt to submit something because the worst that would happen is I’d waste their time making them read my take on episode 10 of Let’s Eat.”

I fully expected them to turn me down. No one was more surprised than I was when I found myself agreeing to dive into the world of recapping.

2014: It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

Trot Lovers (KBS)

Recapping. It seems so easy when you’re reading the recaps. But actually creating them is a bitch. Hours out of my life were spent on this disaster of a trope-laden show with no plot. This was the third show I worked on for Dramabeans, and I hated it to the point where I seriously considered handing in my notice. (Immediately following up this show with the mediocre My Secret Hotel certainly didn’t help matters!)

However, it turns out that what I actually hated was being forced to watch a terrible rom-com and pretend to come up with insightful-or-at-least-neutral thoughts about it (since we were still new and couldn’t go full-on snark yet).

Misaeng (tvN)

This is what saved me. Being given the chance to immerse myself in such a unique, ponderous, thoughtful show restored my faith in dramas and the drama community. I loved spending hours on this show, soaking up all the little details, and then sharing that love with the world.

Misaeng made dramas magical again.

2015: Fight Me

Valid Love (tvN)

Realizing that I only seemed to enjoy rom-coms at arm-length, I discovered that my tastes often ran counter to the general drama-viewing public. Not all the drama-viewing public -- I’m not a “not like other fans” kind of fan -- but enough that I began to realize the whether a drama was popular or had good buzz was not necessarily the primary reason to watch it.

I began to have more faith in my own taste, based on past experiences with various writers and directors. Even if the premise (or first couple of episodes) seemed kind of weird and out-there, I at least wanted to give these artists the benefit of the doubt that I would enjoy their work, like I had previously.

So many people seemed to hate Valid Love, but I adored it. Still do (and still desperately wish Kim Do-woo would come out with a new drama -- it has been too long, writer-nim!). There were a lot of opinions about this show, even among people who seemed to enjoy it, but I vividly recall having to repeatedly insist that it wasn’t about the romance and argue that  the knee-jerk infidelity-is-BAD opinions should make space for something more nuanced.

Ho-gu’s Love (tvN)

DramaFever was a pretty great site. It brought together so many drama fans and gave them a place where they could legally (and without fear of downloading random viruses) watch dramas to their heart’s content. Yes, there may have been some lingering resentment that they were the primary reason that so many amazing other sites were shut down (RIP mysoju and daebaeksubs), but dramas were more accessible than ever!

Eventually, DramaFever started to sub shows themselves and upload them weekly (instead of just using fansubs and uploading older dramas), and while they weren’t the best translations, they were at least better than machine translations from the Chinese subs. As I became more and more familiar with Korean, I found myself more likely to migrate to Viki since I liked the extra detailed translations. I could get the gist of a show without any help -- I wanted to instead delve into the nitty-gritty of the language.

But I never really hated DramaFever or felt they were particularly awful. Until they mistranslated something so terribly that it changed the entire meaning of a scene and ruined people’s perception of a drama, forcing me to continually defend the true translation.

That was the molehill I died on that day, and never again did I touch DramaFever. I feel bad that it eventually got unceremoniously shuttered. But I don’t think I’ll ever forgive them for the “condom” incident.

2016: Free Solo

Dear My Friends (tvN)

For two years I’d been happily working on one episode a week, sharing a show with someone else, until I was asked if I’d like to tackle a show by myself. I wasn’t sure how I could handle it, but I had the time in my schedule so I said, “Sure, why not?”

I was originally going to recap Another Oh Hae-young, but there was a last-minute switcheroo, and I’m so incredibly glad because this is perhaps my favorite recapping experience of all time, even more so than Misaeng. There was something so special about the luxury of having an entire show to myself, especially one with such a fantastic cast of characters and thoughtful themes. I didn’t have to try and figure out if I agreed with another person’s take -- it could all be my opinion.

Is that arrogant? Perhaps. But it was also therapeutic, as it reminded me once again how incredible and amazing dramas could be, and the privilege I had to share such an exquisite and thought-provoking drama with the rest of the world.

The Good Wife (tvN)

Surprisingly, this was what I had really wanted to recap that year, and the true reason I got Dear My Friends, since it aired just prior in the same time-slot as The Good Wife. I was desperate to have this show, willing to do anything to get it because I needed to see Jeon Do-yeon back on the small screen, to see Yoo Ji-tae smolder, to know how Korea would adapt such an ambitious show.

And I wasn’t disappointed! This is, perhaps, my favorite adaption of another work of art that I’ve seen in dramaland. It remained true to Korean sensibilities, but it also properly felt like The Good Wife. The cast was phenomenal. The costumes were exquisite. I wished I could spend more time in that world.

But I was also thankful, because without The Good Wife, I would have never have had Dear My Friends. 

2017: Serial-Killers Are Cool

Voice (OCN)

I can’t remember how I got assigned to this. Maybe it was a scheduling thing. I do know that I really, really wanted it, since it would be Handsome Oppa’s first drama appearance in three years.

But it started me down a road of recapping a lot of serious and serial-killer-centric shows. Except for the times when I’d beg for a break and tackle something lighter, I was generally assigned the darker mystery shows with meaty plots, since apparently I had a knack for condensing complicated shows into something that made sense. (Also literally darker, and I eventually learned to automatically brighten every screencap I posted. You’re welcome.)

Not only did I love working on something with Handsome Oppa, I also had fun recapping the start of what would eventually become OCN’s stock-in-trade -- creepy serial killers. At the time, Voice shattered OCN’s viewer ratings (which would then be shattered again and again as more people would tune in to OCN shows). But Voice really helped put OCN on the viewership map -- as well as catapult Handsome Oppa into the public eye and lead him to a path of getting to choose whatever script he wanted to work on.

(Okay, maybe I made that last bit up, but he did begin to garner a larger following and remind everyone that just because he was gone from dramaland for so long, he hadn’t lost his acting chops -- or charisma -- or cheekbones.)

Black (OCN)

Oh, this show. It was basically my whole life while it was airing (well, the non-day-job part of my life). Each episode was over an hour long and jam-packed full of details that were pertinent to the story, and I had to somehow condense that all into 3000 words or less (I was not always, ah, successful...). It felt like I was back in recapping bootcamp, but the dial had been turned up to 11.

I’m weirdly proud of what I produced (although you’ll never get me to reread my old work). It was one of the most challenging shows to work on, but in the good way, not the Trot Lovers way.

Until the ending, that is. Sigh. That ending will live in infamy. I still, to this day, will get a few comments on the finale from people who watched it on Netflix, went searching online for an explanation of the end, and then discovered that they were not alone in being confused by the utter wtf-ery of the last twenty minutes.

2018: Fighting For My Love

Misty (JTBC)

So, Dramabeans kind of disappeared for a few months. Well, the site was still live. There were a handful of recaps. But... it basically just... stopped. 

Those of us on the other side know about as you do as to why that happened. Minions are kept in the dark just as much as anybody, it seems. All we knew is that we weren’t being assigned anything and we seriously wondered if the site was going under, since adsense has become worthless these days.

But Mary and I kept talking about how much we adored Misty and were sad that we couldn’t talk about it with the world (and convince them to watch it with us), so we pleaded and begged and got the go-ahead to do a kind of chatty “open thread” which has apparently been a spring-board format for other shows. We didn’t get paid for this, and we were totally fine with that. We just wanted to provide some kind of content (while swooning over Kim Nam-joo’s pantsuits!).

Let’s Eat 3 (tvN)

This was my first real assignment after the dead period, and I once again got to do full recaps (with pay!). I started watching, thinking I’d merely tolerate the show (since I loved the first season vastly more than the second season), but it turned out to be my favorite of the three. Plus it felt fortuitous that the series I had submitted my application would be a series I’d work on four years later.

Sometimes it’s nice to spend time with a character you met years ago, to see them grow, to see how they became what they became. Drama trends (and love interests) will come and go, but Goo Dae-young’s love of food (and love of explaining the proper way to eat food) will never change. It was a really comforting drama for me to spend my summer on, and I’ll remember it fondly, even if I’m forever sad that it had to suddenly wrap-up two episodes early.

2019: Ten Years Later

Item (MBC)

This was the Trot Lovers of 2019. It was a nonsensical disaster.

I also had the added chaos of my real-life job -- one very different from the one I had when I was working on Trot Lovers -- as it began to increase exponentially in responsibilities and in stress. I reached a breaking point where I began to hate opening my computer where I’d have to spend hours attempting to explain a show that I wanted nothing to do with. I was miserable and depressed and couldn’t do it anymore. I never before asked to be taken off a show because I hated it so much, but there’s a first for everything.

Her Private Life (tvN)

I actually haven’t finished this show -- I’ve yet to watch the last two episodes. But I’m including it because, well, I didn’t finish any other show in 2019 except for Item.

As some of you may know, this has been a difficult year. It started with the unexpected stress of my job, when we suddenly lost one of our directors who passed away, and another director was let go (in a complicated situation that is ongoing, but the important thing is that it was during our busiest time when we really couldn’t afford to lose anyone), and another director left for a different job and I was basically the one to pick up all the pieces she left behind. It was exhausting and we were all past the breaking point but somehow miraculously holding it together.

I was looking forward to finally getting a much-needed vacation in September, and then, well, you all know how that went: the first night, on our layover in New Zealand before what was supposed to be three weeks in Australia, my father was taken to the hospital, and then, two days later, he passed away. Life has gotten even more chaotic and stressful and bizarre since then.

So no, I haven’t finished this drama, but it was one of the most wonderful moments of the year for me, watching this fizzy rom-com with my favorite actor, where he got to be charming and handsome and charismatic and finally kiss the girl he loves and have her love him back (and not die or be dumped, as he had been in so many dramas that had gone before). Lion Oppa was everything my heart could desire, and living in his world helped me endure the insanity that I wish I’d known would seem so much more tolerable than what would eventually befall.

Her Private Life reminded me of when I first fell in love with dramas ten years ago, when I would giggle and be delighted by the charming nonsense on screen -- of beautiful people falling in love and fighting against the obstacles between them (some more ridiculous than others, perhaps, but there are always obstacles), and ending up happily ever after. Pure escapism, of the frothiest kind.

A Drama-filled Decade

So, after ten years of dramas, what is the takeaway? What have I learned?

I suppose I’ve learned to trust my instincts and put more faith in writers and directors than actors. That analyzing dramas is fun, and it’s even more fun sharing it with others, and sometimes even more fun if you get paid to do it -- but everyone eventually reaches a breaking point. That I’m too earnest and optimistic to embrace a life of snark. That I want every drama to be good but most of them aren’t, except sometimes they are. That I’m not even sure which genres are my favorite; I just know what I don’t like.

That dramas are best as escapism, and not as work.

I don’t know how many dramas I’ll watch in 2020. I haven’t paid any attention to what’s airing, and I’m okay with that. Perhaps I’m entering a new phase in my life, or perhaps I just don’t have the capacity to escape right now.

But I am pleased to have had dramas in my life, and to have eventually made them my hobby. I’ve met a lot of amazing people and made some genuine friends through a shared love of dramas (or, at times, a shared hatred). I’m honored that all of you are still here and following me, even during this period of fandom silence.

May 2020 treat us all better, and may Kim Do-woo finally write another script.

Satisfied?

We examine what Letterboxd reviews of Hamilton reveal about the musical’s cultural currency in 2020.

In this absolutely insane year, when our love of movies feels helpless in the face of pandemic-induced economic collapse, some extremely good decisions are being made on behalf of audiences. Studio Ghibli on streaming platforms. Virtual screenings to support art house cinemas. Free streaming of many important films about Black experience. And: Disney+ releasing the filmed version of Hamilton: An American Musical—recorded at the Richard Rodgers Theater in 2016 with most of its original Broadway cast—a year ahead of schedule, on Independence Day weekend.

“Superlative pop art,” writes Wesley of the filmed musical. “Hamilton wears its influences and themes on its sleeve, and it’s all the better for it. Lin-Manuel Miranda and his team employ an unlikely cocktail of not only hip-hop and showtunes, but also jazz (‘What’d I Miss?’), British-Invasion pop-rock (‘You’ll Be Back’), folk music (‘Dear Theodosia’) and Shakespeare (‘Take a Break’) in service of developing an impressively vast array of themes. This is a testament to the power of writing, an immigrant narrative, a cautionary tale about ambition, a tragic family drama, and a reevaluation of who decides the narrative of history.”

2016 may only be a half-decade ago, but it feels like an eon in American political years. With theaters dark and America’s long record of racism under urgent scrutiny, the complex smash-hit lands back in the spotlight at an interesting time. Is Hamilton “the most offensive cultural artefact of the last decade”, as Lee writes? Or “timeless and wholly of the moment”, as Tom suggests? The answer, according to a deep read of your Letterboxd reviews, is “all of the above”.

First things first: why now?

Sophie has a theory:

“Disney executive: Hey we’re losing a lot of money because our parks are closed. How do we start making money again?

Other Disney executive: It might be nice, it might be nice… to get Hamilton on our side.”

Sure, business. Still, it’s historically unprecedented that a Broadway show of this caliber (a record-setting sixteen Tony nominations, eleven wins, plus a Grammy and a Pulitzer) would be filmed and released to the public while it’s still, in a Covid-free universe, capable of filling theaters every night. Will people stay away when Broadway reopens because they’re all Disney+’d out?

No chance, reckons Erika. “I’d still kill to see Hamilton live with any cast… I get why producers are afraid that these videos might hurt ticket sales, but I’m fucking ready to buy a ticket and fly to NY one day just to see as many shows as I can after watching this.”

Not every musical fan has the resources to travel, often waiting years for a touring version to come near their hometown. And even if you do live in a town with Hamilton, the ticket price is beyond many; a daily lottery the only way some of us get to go. So Holly-Beth speaks for many when she writes: “I entered the Hamilton lottery every day for almost two years but I never got to be in the room where it happens… however, this 4K recording of the original cast will do very nicely for now! Finally getting to see the context and performances after obsessing over the music for years was so, so satisfying.”

“Finally” is a common theme. Sydnie writes, “I love this musical with every fiber of my body and it was an extraordinary experience finally getting to watch it in Australia”. Flogic: “To finally be able to put the intended visuals to a soundtrack that I’ve had on repeat for such a long time: goosebumps for 160 minutes.” Newt Potter: “Now I fully understand people’s love for this masterpiece of a musical!”

I’ve got a small query for you.

Where’s the motherfucking swearing? Unsurprisingly, Disney+ comes with some limitations. For Hamilton, it’s the loss of a perfectly placed F-word.

“I know Disney is ‘too pure’ to let a couple of ‘fucks’ slip by,” writes Fernando, “but come on, it’s kind of distracting having the sound go out completely when they sing the very satisfying ‘Southern Motherfucking Democratic Republicans!’ line.”

Will agrees: “Disney cutting ‘motherfucking’ from ‘Washington on Your Side’ felt like sacrilege akin to Mickey Mouse taking an eyebrow pencil to the Mona Lisa.”

Nevertheless, sings Allison:

“Even tho Disney stripped the story of its f***s, Don’t think for a moment that it sucks.”

(Yes, she has a vegan alert for Hamilton.)

Does it throw away its shot?

The crew filmed two regular shows in front of live audiences, with additional audience-less sessions for a dolly, crane and Steadicam to capture specific numbers. The vast majority of you are satisfied. “It’s the most engaging and expertly crafted life filming I’ve seen since Stop Making Sense,” writes ArtPig. “The film does an incredible job of placing you right in the action. It feels like the best seat you could get in the theater. You can see the sweat and spit.”

“Translates perfectly onto the small screen,” agrees Ollie. “There’s a level of intimacy that feels hard to replicate in any other filmed production. We see those close ups, the passion and gusto behind every actor’s performance.”

“Shockingly cinematic for something filmed on such a small stage,” is Technerd’s succinct summary, while Paul praises director Thomas Kail: “He knows when to back away along with moving nearer when appropriate, and the choices always serve to govern the power and stamina of the performances.”

Though cast members’ voices were recorded on individual audio tracks, Noah had a few quibbles with the sound quality. “Some of the audio capture is off in the recording, sometimes voices being too soft or too loud. It’s not immersion breaking, but it is noticeable enough to irk me a little in pivotal moments. Some of the shot composition doesn’t fully work either. Of course nothing is going to be as good as seeing it in person.”

Robert, recalling another recent cinematic escapade of musical theater, lets his poetry do the talking:

“This will do for now until the true movie’s made, Though if Hooper directs, there’ll be an angry tirade.”

I think your pants look hot.

Hamilton fans have their cast favorites, but something about being able to see Jonathan Groff’s spittle and Leslie Odom Jr’s scowls in 4K has you losing it all over again. Several specific shout-outs we enjoyed:

“Daveed Diggs the Legend! Go watch Blindspotting (2018), it’s one of the best movies ever!” —Kyle

“It’s hard to believe anyone will ever top Leslie Odom Jr. as Aaron Burr. I already loved him from the original cast recording, but seeing his full performance in all its glory was just godly.” —Erika

“Thankful that it was made possible for me to view with such clarity the phenomenon that is Renée Elise Goldsberry and spectacular Phillipa Soo.” —Thea

“Daveed Diggs was electrifying and Jonathan Groff was absolutely hilarious. If they interacted together the stage would’ve combusted from the sheer will of their talent.” —Nick

This is not a game.

On one hand, the release of Hamilton is sweet relief for music theater nerds riding out the pandemic. A generation of kids knows every word by heart, rapping (this version of) American history like it’s no thing. On the other, the Obama-era musical already feels behind-the-times, even for many Hamilton lovers, and the filmed version has brought that into sharp focus.

“I listened to the OG cast album about 50 times when it came out, the production is about as good as I’d always hoped,” writes Josh. “Since then however there’s been a very important and broader reckoning with the failures of neoliberalism and the Obama years ([from] which this has to be the most emblematic piece of art) and for me personally a drifting further to the left that has resulted in a very different relationship with the material. So my feelings today are a bit more complicated.”

“Hamilton is extremely non-committal about its politics,” writes Sting. “It doesn’t examine much of what Hamilton dictated besides ‘he wants complete financial control of the country’ (which would sound like a fucking supervillain in any other context, including reality).”

That lack of political commitment, reckons Morgan, is what helped Hamilton as a musical become so popular: “It’s fun. It’s catchy. It interweaves trendy and socially relevant artistic tools to infer a subversive subtext, while simultaneously sanitizing and, at times, flat out fabricating the historical narrative and downplaying the brutality of the true origin story, for the sake of appeasing those in power. Classic Bill Shakespeare stuff.”

History has its eyes on you.

Much criticism lies with the fundamental storytelling decision to make a modern ruckus about America’s Founding Fathers, the men (including Alexander Hamilton) who in the late eighteenth century united the thirteen colonies and co-wrote the Constitution. Undisputed titans of history, they also have blood on their hands, and HoneyRose writes that the musical “glorifies these men, and paints them as self-sacrificing heroes, and honestly normalizes and validates slavery, as well as the behavior of slave owners.”

Stevie, who saw the Broadway production as well as the filmed version, confesses: “I’ve tried (I’ve really tried) to understand what makes people lose their minds over this but I’m still completely baffled by the hype… These were horrible men and a romanticism of them through song and dance just seems entirely misguided.”

Sean is not convinced that Hamilton is a hagiography. “I can’t imagine anyone watching all of this and thinking it paints a portrait of the Founding Fathers as anything other than childish, greedy, venal and self-aggrandizing.” Wesley agrees: “I don’t think Hamilton is trying to be a history lesson, so much as a lesson about how we think about history. It’s a compelling human story told in a revolutionary way.”

That “revolutionary way” is the musical’s central conceit: that of a cast-of-color playing the white founding fathers as they bumble towards independence. Journalist Jamelle Bouie, who regards the musical as “fun, exciting, innovative and, at points, genuinely moving,” wrestles with the “celebratory narrative in which the Framers are men to admire without reservation. Through its casting, it invites audiences of color to take ownership of that narrative, as if they should want to take ownership of a narrative that white-washes the history of the revolution under the guise of inclusion.”

It’s complicated for Matt, too: “It’s widely agreed upon that the show encapsulates the Obama era better than anything, how it coddles white liberals with a post-racial vision of history in a superficial sense, overlooking the insidious and oppressive systems that they benefit from (hearing the audience clap to ‘Immigrants, we get the job done’ unsettled me). Of course hopefully its legacy will be that it opened up more Broadway roles for POC. But I really think that the show doesn’t make Broadway more appealing and accessible to POC, it just makes hip hop more accessible to white people, a launching pad of course to listening to Watsky or something.

“No hate though to anyone that’s completely in love with this, it’s definitely worth seeing despite any hang ups.”

I wanna build something that’s gonna outlive me.

The story doesn’t end, just because the music does. Kai_Kenn has a suggestion: “I have been a part of discussions that dissect the culture that created Hamilton, as well as the culture that Hamilton created, and whether or not Hamilton appropriately addresses the modern issues [that] the cult following proposes it does.

“This is an ongoing discussion that I am trying to be an active listener in and, if you consider yourself to be a conscientious consumer of art, you should too.”

Noah is on board with that: “Reflecting on the past and focusing on the future are not two mutually exclusive actions. Both are a must, regardless of who you are or what you do. A five-star experience in a four-and-a-half-star film. I think that’s just fine.”

Related content

Want to see more of the key cast? Watch Daveed Diggs in ‘Blindspotting’; Renée Elise Goldsberry in ‘Waves’, Jonathan Groff repeat his role as Kristoff in ‘Frozen 2’, Lin-Manuel Miranda in ‘Mary Poppins Returns’, Leslie Odom Jr. in ‘Harriet’, Phillipa Soo in the forthcoming ‘Broken Hearts Gallery’, Christopher Jackson in the forthcoming ‘In The Heights’, Jasmine Cephas Jones in ‘The Photograph’, Okiereriete Onaodowan in ‘A Quiet Place II’ and Anthony Ramos in ‘Monsters and Men’ and ‘A Star is Born’.

Ways to support the Black Lives Matter movement

Official Black Lives Matter’s Resources

Teenagers that have ‘Hamilton’ stuff on their bedroom walls

Films where they mention ‘Hamilton’

BERNIE 2020

This time last year, everyone who announced they were running for the Democratic nomination was running using chunks of Bernie Sanders' 2016 platform. Everyone supported a $15 minimum wage and Medicare-For-All. It was then announced that the health insurance industry was going to go all out in terms of the money they were going to spend against a single-payer system, and as the months went on, not only did all those people walk back their support, or attribute the phrase "Medicare For All" to their own plans which were not that, more people announced they were running, who never claimed any of these beliefs. Many candidates have dropped out, many more have joined. While once it seemed like everyone was claiming Bernie's policies, but offering a more diverse slate of identities, now everyone is running to the right of him, with more and more people joining to be even farther right still.

Honestly, the very fact that Bernie has not caved, when everyone else did, in the wake of all the money which is very clearly stacked against him, should put you in his corner, if you believe that integrity matters in the slightest. What's going to drive me insane is that it feels like the forces arrayed against him are specifically AGAINST integrity, the very idea that someone cannot be bought. I am aware my ideas might seem like "conspiracy theories," but it's all so out in the open that it genuinely feels more like terrorism. Anti-abortion activists killed Dr. George Tiller, and now less people receive the medical training to perform the procedures he performed. What we are witnessing now is that money will be spent to kill your career, if you want to get money out of politics. A few months ago I was insisting no one under forty was going to vote for Joe Biden. Now, to take his role in the race, of "old white man with right-wing politics who is ostensibly electable in terms of being able to win over voters who are undecided between Democrats and Republicans despite the fact that no one likes him" is Michael Bloomberg. Bloomberg is, somehow, worse than Joe Biden; arguably, perhaps even probably, worse than Donald Trump. Like Biden, there's a long history of racism and sexism in terms of policy he has pushed and things he has said. Michael Bloomberg spoke at the Republican National Convention in 2004, in support of George W. Bush, at the height of the Iraq war. He also supported stop and frisk in New York City, and changed the laws so he could run for a third term as mayor: Everyone worried about Trump declaring himself "president for life" and not retiring quietly should look to Bloomberg's example of how plutocrats bend the rules in their favor. I don't believe he would win an election, he is a truly sub-John-Kerry proposition. However, it is arguable Bloomberg would be a worse president than Donald Trump, able to impose right-wing policies without any of the opposition Trump enjoys. That opposition, as it is, feels pretty nominal, and the fact that Democrats seem to prefer Bloomberg be the nominee over Sanders points to why. It feels like the idea of insisting people vote for Bloomberg for the sake of "beating Trump" is psychological warfare, not a "compromise" but intentionally designed to degrade and demoralize not just "the left" but anyone with any sort of historical understanding or basic opposition to right-wing hegemony. I will not vote for Michael Bloomberg in a general election. If offered the false choice between Bloomberg and Donald Trump, two Republican plutocrats, we should give up on the idea that democracy exists and all become full-on anarchists. It is in both the Democratic party's interest, and my own personal psychology, to avoid making me feel this way about the assorted other candidates running. I basically avoid learning too much about Pete Buttegieg, though I already resent that I know how to pronounce his last name. I truly hope he goes away forever. Elizabeth Warren would've been, at one point, an "acceptable compromise" between the left and more moderate wings of the party, who I would be happy to support, but her campaign is now being run by people interested in the paradigm of degrading the left and it's pretty depressing to think that she has no interest in actually passing Medicare-for-all or any of the other large, sweeping changes this country sorely needs. I think all these people, Bloomberg and Biden especially, would lose an election. Regardless of my vote, I believe that Bernie Sanders is the only person who can win, although perhaps he can only win if the entire media apparatus is not violently opposed to his campaign. To his credit, he is not actually publicizing this conspiracy for the sake of his campaign. He did so in 2016, when he was running against Hillary Clinton. It is considered "divisive" to do so. Sanders instead is basing his campaign on how many people his policies would help, how painful our current society is, how much pain there is in our society. I feel like I have made it obvious, in other places, how this includes me. I've written often about being poor, and having limited options in this society, despite my assorted privileges. What's funny is that I feel like something I have in common with Sanders, besides our Jewish heritage, is a disinterest in talking about ourselves. I don't want to say "My life is pathetic, I am poor, and voting for Bernie would help me out." And Bernie doesn't want to say "All these bastards are arrayed against me, vote for me so they can lose power and we can start to have a functioning democracy." So it's my role to say what Bernie won't. There are people who think talking about Sanders, and his obvious integrity contrasted with other politicians, is akin to believing in a cult of personality. I don't want to accuse everyone of participating in acts of projection, but what's interesting is I think centrists largely believe that every politician has integrity. That's why they don't think it matters when someone takes high-paying gigs giving speeches, or whatever. There isn't the same understanding of power acting to protect itself by maintaining a status quo. Without this basic belief in what integrity is, the whole fact of Sanders' popularity seems suspect. There are pundits who describe the fact that Sanders has large crowds of passionate supporters as in itself Trumpian, whereas Bloomberg and Biden, with their histories of racism, sexism, mental decline, lying, and support for the rich, actually manifest the parts of Trump's being that are the problem. Bernie Sanders is real, he's genuinely what every person who has professed liberal opinions over the past thirty-odd years claims to be. The people who hate him are not all political operatives, but they're people who think like those operatives do, fake as hell smiling backstabbers who are allergic to the real. There are huge contradictions between the values they claim to have and how they act, and so they are unable to see the lies of the politicians they support. However, the rest of us, the vast majority of society, see through all of it, and recognize Bernie Sanders as being genuine. This is why Bernie Sanders can win, and why he should win, and why he'll be able to be a good president once in office. He's right, when everyone else for the past forty years has been wrong. Bernie Sanders is right because he's the only person who is not lying to themselves, and that gives him an enormous advantage in terms of his basic relationship to reality.

Yandere! Joen x Addy x Overprotective! Nicol (part 3)

(Warning: this story you are going to read will contains trigger and 16+ that involves angsty theme, mental issues, adult vice theme, mild swearing, violence, gore blood and death of the following story. Please respect and advice not to read it if you are uncomfortable of these topics)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joen's pov

Leaving my dear precious doll peacefully at her bed is such a grace to watch, it makes me feel happy on her safe state. Dying to be on my arms at my home, I started going back to the past where they are still alive.

Father is a great man with a huge popularity of his amusement park, "Great Roger's Madness Play". His reputation is so popular, everyone knows his name and his signature friendliness and kind heart he possessed. He is formally a boy band in his youthful days until She come to his life.

Mother is a famous singer and song writer in any ways. Her beauty stands out every man on their knees and woman and young girls inspired by her feminism and encouraged of young girls to chased their dreams. She work in many business with her family along with her sister who had a son to carry the legacy. Dad slowly fell in love with mom with a reason.

The letter he wrote for me and my brothers to read.

The Roger family has been passing its genes for generations with a twist of truths and secrets of our ancestors. Now that I understand why father loves mother, I guess I'm just like dad with my hair slick back, the perfect arch white rabbit and well.... The reason of loving a mate.

I'm so excited to mark my beloved as mine and mine alone. Well, besides my favorite bunny brother Leon who is the first one to finally mark his lover and soon to be brother in law in the future. Oh~ I wonder what she would look like when we were at the same age as my parents were? Or what dress she would dressed to my imaginable insane wedding that I've dreamed when I was a bunny. Alright I think I would be more then intrigued on what kind of girl if I finally see the true beauty behind all that elegant décor everyday? My guardian angel will take me to heaven to touch her, to feel her, to taste her-

To see how much she loves this Rabbit giving it to me~

Ugh, I losts control now. I needed her, I fucking need to confess my heart out and heal my beloved broken doll to a woman I ever gunna dreamed of. However, I need to be patient once she give in and open her heart for me, patient enough to let me get closer to her. Mother once told me that since she has a strong relationship with father with such love. Addy would be the most happiest girl to finally release those burden chains behind her back and healed all her broken crack porcelain that my pretty little doll possessed.

Now all I needed to do is to get rid of Nicol. I don't care of the peace contract we both had along time ago that I am about to break!

Anything to claim the Doll as my mate! That's what father told me. Finding the right mate to loved would do anything to claim it as mine. I made up my fucking mind to win this. Similar to how my brother Leon would back when we were still at the asylum. I also need to talk to my black rabbit brother for advice before I could finally kick the dog's ass. I'll do it tomorrow to prepared the plan. Nicol the Doberman Dog, our peace allies between our families is off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nicol's pov

I heard that Joen left the dog mansion quickly. Why though? I went to check on dollface if she is alright and safe. I think she is now safe.... For now....

You may be wondering why I wanted to protect her at all cost even protecting her from her mission, preventing her from activating her DEaF power eyes she had explained to my training with her, people who dare tried and harm a single hair from her and death multiple times is because of a many reasons;

She and I are no different then everyone else.... We both experience it in a horrible way....

*flashback, Nicol's traumas and Wilderness era*

The Dog brothers are not entirely as brothers who are related honestly. We were all born at the adoption withe and my little brother together until I have a strong friendship with the 4 pups. We were always together as a group because of our connection we are having and how much we grew up together inseparably. My brother will always be beside me and followed me anywhere until we all started performing and show off our created talent. We became young celebrities together until at age 11. Me, my little brother, my soon to be step brothers and my brother's siblings are all adopted by a man.

The man is my new owner, my master, the one who would take care the whole family despite we are not sure why he adopted us? Learning that the man had knew the 5 of us that we are popular of our talent and give us something that we now soon as celebrities as I formed a group of boys as the Dog Brothers. We are so happy to finally made it.... That's is what I thought of.... Right?

"Bad environment, a horrible influence of a owner, a home filled with vices and master showed me and my brothers the most wicked crime that all of us lost our innocence".

I grew aggressive and wild on these stuff. I'm so uncomfortable at first for introduced me such illegal stuff in such a young age myself. I was just 13 years old when master showed me these things. I grew slowly addicted, it is so wrong yet felt high I'm started to get used to master's drugs and alcohol

Age 14 is my start on partying my favorite clubs. My brothers are also got used to these vices as they do the same wilderness and hunting more and more. I like to fight people and greedy on devouring liquor and drugs everyday on clubs, I've earned myself a nickname as the "Wild Dog".

That is until.... The sudden arresting for illegal crimes had made us realized our whole family are in deep cursed. Realizing that we had changed to the worse which we immediately almost broke our strongest relationship that we, the Dog Brothers we once have togehter. We started arguing and fighting out of no where and I blindedly harmed my own little brother multiple times in a heated tension that I gradually said the words that I broke our relationship with my brother for eternity.

"You Bastard! How dare you offended me and my families name! YOUR A DISGRACE TO MY FAMILY!!! I'M NOT A DISGRACE TO MY FAMILY, I NEVER BETRAYED IT BROTHER!!!"

Those words are all a lie, I did betrayed them being blinded with addictions and obsessions which controlled my whole body like I'm a puppet. Crimes that added on my list while the Dog brothers are all working as celebrities as we secretly hidden our vices from public. The family doesn't want the publics eye to know these secrets which would one day torn us completely with shame

Been arrested then releasing again and again as I reached age 17.

*Imprisonment era*

"Here comes the Wild Dog! A Beast! Ooo so scary *mockingly laughs*, the lil old crazy bitch who do drugs and shit. I heard he killed a man before. He is the guy that we heard from those rumors outside, stay away from him. Such a psychopath, no loved for you and more fuck torture for you to performed. Disgusting disgrace of a family. Are the rumors are true? These rumors are for real!"

Enough! Just fucking stop! Please that wasn't me, that wasn't us!!! I wasn't myself, WE AREN'T OURSELVES!!! Curse you master!!! for making me and my whole family for losing our own innocence and our humanity to this hellhole! Go to hell you asshole!

I'm so broken right now.... I can't take this anymore with the addicting drugs and alcohol, adding crimes is one thing and yet I have almost betrayed the Dog brothers. The public has spreading rumors and news of our crime which shamed our fame and money.

At the end.... We started trying to fix ourselves and our problems to solve as we are officially released after 4 year ago of the Darkest era of celebrity, I'm 18 years old that I have already forgotten who I really am and who my friends are. I have lost my own innocence and humanity on society. Its is time for the Mcgilles Family to rehabilitated our fame, not wanting our fans disappointed and go down on us. They still loved us despite we are in deep burden from the dark time.

*flashback ended, present day. Midnight*

"Nic? Nicol? Nicolas, wake up."

I've suddenly woke up laying on the floor. Was I asleep? And I felt something wet soaking on my cheeks. I look up to see my favorite older brother, Alejandro the Jindo Dog.

"Nic, your crying. And its midnight already. Why aren't you on your bedroom?"

Ah... I think I'm still inside Addy's bedroom floor crying at my sleep as I stand up with the help of Ale.

"Sorry. I'm must have doze off when I got here."

Looking back on Dollface peaceful sleep, still in the same straight sleeping body and her stuffed bunny has dropped beside me when I first fallen asleep beside her bed. I picked up the stuffed bunny with my own hands, looking down to its innocent eyes I cried. I could feel my own body shacking as Alejandro sympathies how broken I am.

"She too innocent back when we were met.... She didn't deserve it brother.... She is as broken as I am, you and our family too."

"I know brother, I know...."

Putting back beside the owner of this stuffed white bunny to the sleeping doll as I gave a one last longing look of pity to the girl then left. I felt tired with my eyes almost shut, unfortunately.... Something tighten my chest that danger is going near. This is a bad sign.