I always have to remind myself that I don’t need to push myself to make art, and I don’t need to apologize or feel bad for not making a lot of art. art is something that should make me feel happy, so if I’m pushing myself to the point of not enjoying it anymore, then I should just stop and calm down for a second. and take some time for myself. Art won’t disappear, it will always be there waiting for me again, its okay for me to take some time doing others things sometimes.

it's interesting to watch you watch one piece bc its just reminding me that I also had all these issues with it when I first read it but I've been surrounded by one piece fans for so long that they've convinced me that there are no problems...i feel like I had all my essays peer reviewed and everyone said it was great and now my teacher is reading it and pointing out all the things that I was worried about that they all assured me weren't something to worry about.

I think I'm too invested in this.

thats the nasty trick of fan spaces. everyone focuses on the good parts understandably because unless you're a lifestyle hater who gets joy out of complaining, there's no real incentive to talk about the parts of a thing you don't like. at least not in fan contexts. like as much as i don't think anyone should be ignoring or excusing the parts of a piece of media that are bigoted, i don't think that means you need to bring them up any time you're just doing low stakes fan stuff. and things that Suck and are Stupid but aren't necessarily bigoted in any way such as 'guy who spends a bunch of his screen time shitting' are really just not worth mentioning at all. so with something as massive as one piece i understand why it'd be really easy to edit a lot of that stuff out of your (the general you in this case not You Specifically) memory due to only being repeatedly exposed to the parts that are good.

and i think the fact that you CAN edit that much of it out in your brain just shows how really unnecessary a lot of this shit is. one piece is really bogged down in stuff that just isnt interesting or funny. oda is great at coming up with enjoyable characters, good at making use of his large ensemble cast and making his world feel interconnected, and bad at almost literally everything else. it's a damn shame.

sorry to have to burst your bubble by reminding you about things that happen in one piece xx i went into this show knowing almost nothing besides People Really Like One Piece and so i'm basically missing the process that has to happen for the good parts to really shine. one piece fans are out here eating an omelette but i'm out here choking down raw eggs.

Yeahhhh good to see TADC requests are back up! Hope you’re feeling a lot better with everything going on! Also belated Merry Christmas?

If it’s not much, could I request a scenario for Kinger? If I didn’t misread or anything, I don’t think it was written anywhere that I have to specify requests. Hopefully so cuz I don’t have something in mind other than angst. Also cuz you said that you sometimes have trouble coming up with ideas for certain characters, so u can imagine pretty much everything so it’s not restricting. If you want me to specify, tell me!

Thanks! ^^

General Kinger x Reader Angst stuff!

wooooo definitely weird sitting at my computer again; typing on it while i wait for the oven to preheat because admin craves pizza eheheheheheh uhuhuh!! hope this isnt too bad! its probably going to take a while to get back into the swing of answering requests + writing for TADC, even if its only been like a week most of this ended up being about kingers grief over queenie/queener LMAO was originally going to have this be multiple things but i got too sucked deep into the grief idea

i think we should get the obvious out of the way, but kinger has a problem with zoning out and mixing things up; oftentimes leading to him becoming distressed or frightened. regardless of if youre his friend or partner, youre going to need to exercise a fair amount of patience, especially in the beginning if you want to build some level of trust between the two of you

as for romantic stuff, i dont think he ever truly will fall out of love with queenie/queener, its like how widows never truly stop loving their partners after theyve passed. you try not to think about the idea that he would still be with queenie if she hadnt abstracted... you try not to let it get to you but it still rears its head in, you know?

does notice that something is up with you but you wont open up about it because you feel so horrible about being jealous over a woman who isnt even around anymore in a way that she can likely never come back... which leads to kinger becoming more worried for you over time as you keep trying to shut everything down

imagine it leads to a blow up and you just break down or even lash out because you feel so disgusted with yourself and kinger is just standing there in shock unsure of what to do

very tricky situation, because theres so many factors to take into account. the abstraction, kingers grief, your wellbeing and self worth, things like that

as much as i want to say that kinger would be all over you trying to make it better, because he doesnt want you to abstract, i think that the best course of action would be for you guys to spend a few hours apart at the bare minimum.. whether thats what ends up happening is debatable

or even worse, you abstract in the process of your breakdown, leaving kinger with two lost partners

not totally related, but i like to think kinger leaves flowers and the like at queenies door.. as often as he can.. maybe sometimes he stays at her door talking about how his day went and how everyone else is doing... i think he would do the same for you if you abstracted, too, regardless of if you guys dated or not

unrelated to the reader but i like to think kinger and gangle have a grandpa/granddaughter relationship and he tells her about queenie and tells her about his abstracted wife and

:(

he gets misty eyed

oooooooo im. im wavibg my fingers tell me about juno

ooooooo

ooohhhhhh noooooo… ive been hypnotized by your finger wibbling…. i guess i have to talk about hiiimmmm……

@ my fellow players in the d4 campaign DONT READ THIS. none of them actively use tumblr but jic

(LOTS of text under cut)

the first thing i always always always say about him is that he fucking SUCKS. hes the worst man alive i hope he dies im literally obsessed with him. juno infyris is a tiefling celestial warlock :3 his patron god is homebrew that i made myself! basically he grew up in the underdark (gracklstugh to be specific) doing odd jobs to make enough money to leave. since almost all of the underdark is under lolth, he genuinely just didnt. think gods were real. he was an atheist he just thought everyone else was in a cult on something LMFAO once he was old enough he started a little shop of his own selling fake magic items (most of which he stole). like spamton but not actually like spamton at all. now while setting up his window display for candlenights he ACCIDENTALLY SUMMONED A DEITY. shes like ohhh brave one you have summoned me….. your wish is my command… i shall aid you in your journeys…. and hes like Uh Um Uhhh Can You Help Me Out. (<- INCREDIBLY UNSPECIFIC THING TO SAY TO A LITERAL GOD.) she takes this and fuckinf runs with it hes now soulbound to this deity thats trying to make him a better person and have him do good deeds and stuff amd he HATES IT. as aforementioned he is the worst fucking guy alive hes greedy and selfish and an all around bastard who literally scams people for a living and now all of a sudden hes forced to be a good person or else god will kill him and its the funniest dynamic ive ever written. anyways he escapes his master and leaves the underdark and meets up with the party etc etc etc BUT i wanna talk more about his life before then. see the underdark is a really shitty fuckinf place to live for like 90% of the population and basically anyone that isnt a drow or duergar. SO. you can imagine his life kind of sucks. he is forever in servitude of at least one master at all times & is FOREVER trying to convince everyone he meets to let him live. he used to have wings, in fact! however when they grew in, his master used him for his wings & made him do a bunch of shady shit for him before cutting them off, not wanting juno to seem too valuable to others and have him stolen. juno currently doesn’t remember ever having wings & is convinced hes just naturally discoordinated and clumsy but in reality he’ll never fully acclimate to living without his wings. for all of the 18 years he lived in gracklstugh he spent every day trying to be good enough so that he wouldn’t be deemed useless and killed. his main tactic for this is flirting. see, he knows he’s fucking annoying, and he’s spent years trying to ‘fix it’, and he just can’t. so if he cant change his personality, he believes his only use is his looks. he’ll flash a charming smile and a kiss on the cheek to the vendor he’s currently robbing, distracting them so that he can steal just enough to get by. he’s fucking pretty, and he knows it, so he uses it to his advantage. he exists as an accessory, something to be used, and believes that’s the entirety of his worth. when he escapes the underdark by killing his master (with the help of angel, another pc in our campaign), he takes his left eye out. the scar changes everything. if he’s not pretty, not appealing enough, then he’s fucking useless. he finally got his chance to escape the underdark and now he’s going to be left to die as soon as he sees the sun for the first time. OBVIOUSLY THIS ISNT WHAT HAPPENS. throughout the campaign, one of the other pcs, rpck (no that’s not a typo his name is rpck) falls in love with him. this shit changes EVERYTHING his entire worldview begins to crumble as he learns he can finally be loved and. Yeaghf. im fucking normal about him. theres ALWAYS more i can say abt him but this is long enough already LMFAO thank u for letting me ramble jack :-)

aUGH you talked about bax's and babygirl's i mean. roy's bad eyesight. does anyone else have an likewise handicap or disability? also what's their weakspot for each one of them ... both physically and mentally if you want to write even moar words hehe

ofc!!

as previously mentioned bax has shit eyesight. hes also a bit mentally ill (lack of survival instincts), and while that can be beneficial when in dangerous situations where he needs to act effectively and expediently it can also be VERY DISADVANTAGEOUS. for obvious reasosn. what would the crew do without him? when hes constantly getting injured and incapacitated?

roy has her weird eyesight, and she has kind of the opposite of bax's problem. shes pretty anxious and has trouble acting and making quick decisions. she doesnt really like getting into *serious* trouble (she likes silly stuff and pranks and goofs though), anyways this makes it harder for her to step in when someone needs help.

clam *is* a runaway government android and so basically anything that isnt healing or surveillance is antithetical to what he was programmed for which is bad for everyone. he wants so badly to deviate and cultivate more of an identity but its gotta be just one step at a time, while roy and the others help him reprogram his body and brain bit by bit. which sucks. he wants physical agency Now.

tallys lack of horns and low-ppointing fin rays would land him very low in his home planets sort of caste system. not like. homestuck per se, its less ingrained and more socially enforced. on a dangerous planet where community contribution holds a lot of social weight, being physically weaker, lacking parental skills or instincts, and being kind of selfish on top of all of that made him very. not liked. this is part of the reason kip feels so responsible for him and overly protective.

anyways hes kinda internalized it. every single crumb of attention and validation sends his ego to the moon (metaphorically). he is torn between accepting a low place in life and society "everyone hates me, why should i change that" and desperately trying to prove his worth to anyone who will listen. yaaay mentla illness mwah (i kiss him on the forehead)

kip is the opposite of tally. he has horns. his fin rays point straight up. hes big and strong. he can hunt and protect. hes kind of tender and paternal. hes generally well respected. and he left all that. with his "nephew."

hes used to the expectation of taking care of everyone, protecting them, making sure nothing goes wrong. so he overcorrects. he comes off a bit controlling, though he normally channels this through his cooking. its like a healthy outlet, where he has control over everything as long as everyone stays OUT of his FUCKING kitchen.

hes also very slow to learn and a bit stubborn (though he tries very very hard to work on this)

hes honestly very stable and good at keeping himself together unless He were to be the one hurt and or in trouble ahahaha. he would not handle that. he would go crazy. the thought of being the one to need others makes him ill.

he is so fucking awkward around clam and its for two reasons. 1. dont wanna break him, unfamiliar object, not sure how the best way to proceed 2. stop trying to help me stop leave me alone you sick vermin

deep down he loves clam though cause he feels like theyre the same. "this weird animate object is just like me fr" he admires clams instinct to help others a lot eheheheh.

Thank you for the recommendation! Ita 3am and I can't stop reading! I also haven't stopped crying ever since I started. I'm crying now and I mistyped your name in the search bar three times.

I'M SO SORRY KOTOKO. I READ EVERYTHING THAT'S OUT RIGHT NOW ONE MORNING WHILE DISSOCIATED WHEN I FIRST GOT INTO IT AND I CRODE SO MUCH. WHAT AONO-KUN DOES TO A MF (ノ_＜。) Omg. It is so gutwrenching and it touches on the themes it does so well and so realistically and it really hurts even if other times it's so funny it also just makes you ache. It has got me crunk somebody save me there's so much I could say about it. How the worst aspects of Aono-kun's life & his existence after his death become gradually unearthed, being driven to the brink and getting more and more heavily enmeshed with Yuri as his last link to humanity and being and happy even as he gradually destroys her. How consuming love can be and themes of one's self worth in relation to it.... The discussions of abuse and how different characters feel about it. The topic of grief omg. Somebody sedate me. The deep-rooted mother issues of it all. The dread thuis manga makes you feel.. the dread 😂

I knew you would like it, because the creator of csm likes it and has drawn fanart for it... and... well... clearly it made you feel something. Even the romance between them tears me apart. Ah I could cry thinking about it too hard right now. And the horror that is so excellently pulled off? I actually felt unease so many times. The scenes that are intimate yet don't feel voyeuristic, but personal instead... bububu. Random screenshots of them that I like. I like when he is so detached from his true self and is something else entirely. What is his true self anymore, really?

It's so... real. You know? So sickeningly real. How desperate Yuri was that she just sort of jumped into that relationship with Aono-kun and yet they ended up like this. And what has become of him... bah. I miss fujimoto and horie a lot too. They're all so personal to me I hope I die. I love the dialogue so much and I dont mind the parts where they overexplain the ghosts even if I sometimes skip them because sometimes it's interesting to me and also thats just mio being autistic half of the time it's fine. How far in have you gotten? Have you gotten to the part with yuri's sister it does cocomelon shit to me. Also Her reliance on her relationship on aono and this dream yuri has even ifthis doest Actually happen and isnt reflective of their relationship in the real world... that sort of contradicts how aono feels about her... crazy stuff.

When you're done talk to me about it if you want.... sorry for any spoilers in these screenshots they're ones I had on hand they're not really spoilers without any context though. I'm also sorry I didnt give any tws considering its so heavy lol and I forgot to mention it's not a completed manga yet and the path it's going scares me but intrigues me too. The author is a woman by the way; did you know? It makes a lot of sense to me. uuu its so good. every character I like them. I like aonokun. abd I also want to hold him so badly I could die. Please drink water dear Kotoko!

More side order criticism and complaining that you are under no obligation to read

I get that side order was a roguelike which apparently tend to be short? Idk ive never played one before but anyway that still doesnt justify the initial hype, the blatant change in aesthetics and plot (remember the first trailer? And the second trailer i think with the lobby doors looking VERY different and matching what we saw in the concept art trailer) almost last second fnaf security breach style, and the amount of stupid shit that happened throughout most of splatoon 3s lifespan since SUPPOSEDLY the games only gonna be getting updates for like, what, 2 more seasons? And its like wow we waited all this time and went through so much shit for a story thats hardly even a story. Once you unlock everything its just. Prlz grinding for gear to get.

It was fun! It was enjoyable! But it sucked and it wasnt worth all of that. Unfortunately i care a lot about splatoons lore and they didnt really go anywhere with what little lore they did have. They also contradicted themselves multiple times for a net zero lore gain anyway. This is about the whole memories """subplot""", if you can even call it that. It really was just "pearl and marina and also this other random irrelevant character talk to each other while you stand there and stare at them from the background" simulator and its like. Thats it? Thats the story? Thats what i waited through all the bullshit for? And then they make you think that there is more, actually, because they keep leading up to something, and then nothing happens. Like okay what was that for.

The gameplay was quick and easy because thats just my skill level. I didnt find it difficult. If youre good at salmon run then chances are youre good at side order. Theres nothing else to be done about that. Im not gonna play bad on purpose for a chance at a challenge. That isnt fun. I just wish the game was rewarding and to me the lore is the reward but... when you think about it literally at all nothing that marina did all this for shows any proof of having worked. She still has to hack her own vr world to do anything with it. Order, now smollusk, is still very much in control. They dont show you anything memory-related actually changing or being affected. They just say it happened and act like thats all there should be to it. And if they were gonna focus on memories, why did they make this whole thing about how bystanders can accidentally be sucked in and then do literally nothing with that? Why not show an actual change in the actual inkopolis square? Why murch of all characters to get a pallet. Why not involve iso padre, whos in inkopolis square now (im very happy about that), who had also lost his memories and was an established character that we could actually interact with in the previous game? It just doesnt add up. Like sorry that i expected good storytelling, its just this is the same people who made octo expansion and they keep trying to one-up octo expansion and they keep falling flat on their face because they keep thinking the gameplay is what made octo expansion so good when it was also the plot and the lore and the worldbuilding that added so much to it so i thought "this time for sure" especially with everything they showed us in the first trailer.

Again, i know it was all concept art, but surely it wouldnt be fair to show off so much only for the final product to be almost nothing like it? Surely if they werent set on the story then they wouldve waited longer to be realeasing trailers and announcing dlc in the first place? Surely it makes sense to expect what was shown. I dont get why theres some people who think everyone had too high expectations. Like its literally just a matter of if you think about any of it literally at all and actually care about it any way more than barebones surface level stuff literally at all then its natural to expect more.

Finally working on my agents?????

Idk what 8 is going to end up like, but I'm going to play octo expansion in the next couple months which should help with that. But for now here's what we have!

I named them all after citrus stuff cuz.. its cute <3 Anyway, if you want a playlist sort of inspired by these 4 and just Splatoon/Splatoon characters in general check this out!

More info under the cut! And of course anything here is subject to change. Feel free to ask me or the agents any questions!

Lime/Captain 3

I mixed the male and female base inkling hairstyles to get the one i use for Lime.

They/Them :)

I changed the cloak they got from cuttlefish to a cape(easier to draw.)

Gave them back their old hero suit/jacket thing and shortened their pants.

This is Lime as of splatoon 3, i dont really know if anything is different about them in one and two that varies from the canon designs other than the hair.

Lime is very much the silent type who tends to worry too much and tries to make sure everything gets handled. This means they can end up taking on a lot more than is healthy for them, but they figure it's better that they do it than anyone else so no one else gets hurt.

has a lot of scars that i didnt include becuz this pic isnt colored.

The exact same height as Yuzu, but Lime wears high heels when in casual clothes so they end up being taller.

Has one older sibling.

Uses roller.

Clementine/Agent 4

Is used to being the smartest there is, and she still is really talented. But when she got into a really fancy school she was suddenly surrounded by other people on her level and she actually had to work. Had never built up good study habits and had just coasted by on natural talent until now, so she dropped out about 3/4 through the school year. A couple weeks later she was scouted by Marie.

She only really went along with Marie due to the low point she was in, and she figured following some random woman into the sewers couldn't be any worse than what she had already done. Saving Callie really helped bring her emotions and confidence back up.

She might still be dealing with feeling like she needs to be perfect and smart for her to have any worth, but she's working to get better and allow herself to make mistakes.

He/Him, She/Her and They/Them!

Their hair is just a shorter version of the "straight" inkling girl hair

The logo on her tank top is supposed to be the cuttlegear logo, but i never drew it lol

Wears her hero jacket around her waist after rescuing Callie.

The wheels help her skate and work well while riding on inkrails. It was her first actual project she let herself work on after dropping out. At first it didnt work, but she eventually tried again and again until it did.

Worlds number one salmon runner.

Was so used to being "the smart kid" until he was surrounded by tons of smart kids. And suddenly, that trait didn't make her stand out any more.

Starts off very self loathing, and Marie doesn't notice because 4 is getting results and all Marie cared about was getting Callie back. But slowly 4 grew to break down and then build herself back up again with Marie's help.

Only child

Uses Dualies mostly, but is also pretty proficient with a charger. Is sort of a jack of all trades and can really play any weapon.

Pomelo/Agent 8

?????

??

She/Her and He/Him???

??????????

??????

?????????????????

E liter user??

??????????????

??????

????

Yuzu/Agent Neo 3

Was originally going to be called Lemon to match with Lime, but i thought Yuzu was cuter

It/It, They/Them, She/Her, and honestly anything else you want to use. Hoards pronouns and names like a dragon.

Lives with Little Buddy and their mom. Their mom(not biological) is a Goldie.

Does actually speak salmonid, and refuses to work for Grizz Co. Will fight their employees on sight. (this causes some slight issues with 4 when they first meet)

Stringer user!

Finds treasure in the splatlands and sells it in splatsville for cash. WILL fight you on sight if you try to take their stuff.

Hair is a mix between the male ponytail and the canon braid style.

Loves to collect shiny bits and bobs, and can sniff out anything like it from a mile away.

Yuzu will do anything for money. It needs money to help support her family!!!

Was sort of conflicted fighting Deep Cut. On one hand, Yuzu respects them a lot for what they do for Splatsville. But on the other hand, Yuzu is not backing down from a challenge OR treasure. So Yuzu chose to at least do Deep Cut the honor of keeping it a clean fight with no tricks.

Speaking of, it WILL play dirty to get what they want.

Very curious and loves to poke around where they don't belong. Will find every little thing hidden in every level.

Absolutely horrible sense of direction, Honey has to help them out a lot.

Is somehow the most naive and most distrusting of the group.

When they celebrate, they go all out! Splatfests, something good happened with the NSS, birthdays, pretty much anything is an excuse to party like tomorrow won't come.

Honey/Little Buddy/Agent Neo 3 Also?

Has a full proper salmonid name, and so does Honey and Yuzu's mom. I just havent decided what they are yet. But Honey was the name Yuzu gave it, and so they wear it with pride!

He/Him, It/Its, They/Them

Has a braid in their hair just like Yuzu!!

Is growing in some of his goldie scales! But not all of them are their yet! Got his first one after the Hugefry transformation. During the transformation he turned into a massive goldie, but returned to normal with no other side effects. But whats this! There was a single golden scale! Honey was so proud!!

Very brave, unafraid to do anything to help Yuzu out! He will help his big sib!!

Likes to cook!

i think this increasing normalization or i should say this constant normalization thats existed for a long time of self hatred humor is starting to become incredibly hard to bear and i know that im not exempt from this i need to do better at being kinder to myself and getting out of this near constant usage of language like that but the real thing that just makes me feel bad all the time is just how much people pretend that its okay and maybe im a little baby but so many good people are so so mean to themselves ruthlessly and its really upsetting and the thing that comes with the territory of normalizing this behavior as humor is that people will just be so rude to themselves and their worth and pass it off as a joke to resist the idea that they deserve to be treated better than this no matter how much you try to be kind and change it and i guess its like everyone knows the ‘treat yourself as good as you treat other people’ and stuff and i know these days we all have self worth problems i do really and its hard to just stop having them which isnt what im talking about i guess i just wish the world was kinder and we don’t all have to live in this sarcastic nihilistic world where you have no worth and no talent and everyone else around you does i cant hate myself because i dont want to put all of the people around me on this pedestal that theyre better than me while i make everyone around me feel bad because i think everything i do is shit and i dont let them console me i just want people to realize they need to matter as much as everyone around them please love yourself and those around you please dont hate your art your photography your writing your music your work your worth please realize love exists not for you to give only but for you to also receive not just from others but for yourself. please be kind to yourself. genuinely genuinely kind. i love you(reader). sorry if thats too earnest and cringe.

how do i leave my abuser?

obviously for everyone its going to be different but here are some tips that worked for me! it might not work for everyone, and everyones situation is completely different, and were all different people.

I also want to point out, if you dont leave your abuser or you go back, you did not fail and that it is okay, its so hard to leave them.

so heres some tips i have from my exp

1) write down everything they do to you ( it doesnt matter if you think its stupid, if it hurts you, write it down, u can add dates if you want) i find writing down helped me when i would assume he was going to be good again, but that would be my rock to remember he was awful.

2) I feel like this ads onto step 1 but try to understand about trauma bonding, and how it affects your brain. Its basically like stockholm syndrome

3) try to learn their schedule, know when they will be gone ( i know this isnt always possible) but this can help you. if you can make a break for it then, do it.

4) i suggest if you can, reach out to a friend, support group system, family, etc and tell them whats happening. using code works can help too, so if you are in danger you can text or call someone and use the word but this doesnt always help or work.

5) another thing is to get all your important papers if you have them: bank cards, ID cards, SIN cards, birth certificate. Anything that has value that cant really be replaced, try to get them all together and have them in safe place.

6) try to leave as quickly, as you can. it really depends on you, and what you think you can handle. if you're able to just leave your house/apartment/etc, do it. But sometimes you need to contact people for an escape plan.

7)stay somewhere where they wont know you are. You dont want them to come find you, and its better to find a place where they cant find you, or wont know where you are but obvs i know this isnt always the case and not everyone has a place to go to. There should be local domestic violence or shelters that you can stay at (although this may be different depending on location)

8) block them, and dont respond. you have to cut contact with them, its like a drug and it will hurt like a fucking bitch, but i promise you, it will be so fucking worth it. there will be a day, where you will realize what truly happened, and its goings to hurt, but it will be so much better than them hurting you.

if they hit you, they will try to kill you one day. <-- i remember a detective saying this, and it stuck with me.

a few more things to add

-everyones story is different, everyones abuse is different, and this is just as general as I can get because I don't know your story.

-if you can, get police involved but just know this can add to a whole lot more stuff, and can be scary.

-dont listen to their sob story. it doesnt matter, your safety matters

-getting a secondary phone or a new phone is a great way to stay safe, and i also suggest changing your social media to all private, and maybe going by an alias.

-change passwords. I remember my ex hacked into my facebook to find where i was.

-try to not disclose any info where you are, if youre afraid for your life/

-making a google drive account and uploading proof is also a good thing to do! or keeping on an usb

-also if you drive, check for gps tracker on your car, i know some abusers do this.

also have grace for urself. you arent a bad person, you arent what they said you are, it wasnt your fault.

if no one believes you, you must believe yourself.

omg okay that was a long ass answer, and i know it was generic! but i hope this helps you, or anyone else!

Single Malt Scotch masterpost

well, i made a nebtho one so i guess i should make one of my namesake, right? sorry to say but in terms of video content.... aint much lol. But I will link a playlist and talk about its history!

Right so, what is there??? Why should you watch these guys?

Team Single Malt Scotch is the pair of Zisteau and Kurtjmac. Z does youtube sporadically but doesnt play minecraft much at all anymore, Kurt is well known for Far Lands or Bust and still does that and other games! So we're talking about the old days really- SMS first teamed up in UHC 7. Their dynamic caught on pretty strong in the tumblr oriented mindcrack fandom, and honestly I'd say they were one of the most popular ships back then alongside the expected Team Canada and Nebtho. I enjoyed their whole deal especially because I liked Kurt a lot, and related to his shyness and interests back then. Zisteau and him get along pretty well and shared similar interests so it was always nice to see then hang out- and their slight opposites with Z being more extroverted made them pretty balanced. Overall good chemistry.

The videos. What videos? Heres my playlist, but I will lay it out below as well. (additionally I only included one episode of UHC 7, i suggest going and watching Kurt here as he has the more eps). Be sure to read the playlist description for further info on how to watch.

Ep 45/12 - Episodes with them together start after UHC 7- its hard tracking down more videos due to lack of keywords, etc... They're working together on Kurt's base! good ol 40 min long episode.

Ep 46/13 - back to back, more work on kurt's base. really just nice slow eps with lots of chatter. - i suggest kurt's because its longer.

Fun fact about those two above!! Kurt mimics Zisteau intro :) in his episodes.

a little minecon video in there... from 9 years ago. god i feel old.

another little extra mindcrack server stuff, a pov from kurt that he hadn't shared before.

while this is in the playlist, its a specific timestamp- FLoBathon 2014, Zisteau jumps call in for a good long period. this is definitely more podcasty of a watch.

final stretch... UHC 2017 Charity event. Yeah, way later than everything else lol. This one was a shock to me when it happened too! This UHC is chaotic due to item donations but it was incredibly fun to watch them again- especially up to the very end!! Really suggest it if you want something faster paced. Spoilers: extra good because we got an "i love you kurt" out of it so.

Extra, not on the playlist- feel like itd be fun to mention this FLoB episode where Kurt recognizes the popularity of SMS on tumblr. which sends anxiety through me at times knowing i also had this url way back then as well.

Well thats it boys. There is a good chance theres some other episodes floating out there and i appreciate any added links! (especially later stuff like post-2016 since i was around less).

As I said above SMS was a pretty popular ship. its hard to know how that felt if you weren't around back then but, there is a huge backlog of fan fiction for sure. Ao3 isnt the biggest archive of fics (i suggest dreamwidth) but even there its the top ship with 100 fics!

so you know. old ship, not anything new, not something i expect new people to get into- but i think its worth sharing especially as a fandom history thing because it was quite a popular subject back in the day.

what is Robo ky's role in the themes of gg?

hi wifey :-)

i actually rlly rlly love thinking about this particularly throwing his x series themes and ideas behind him next to xrds depiction and then of course throwing all of that next to the little slayer drama cd w him . theres a lot . to chew on . and i think its particularly sad a lot of people arent willing to give his depiction in the earlier games any mind... i have to put on my im sorry women hat but i love him in the x/xx games... sorry..... i lvoe him so bad.

anyways under a readmore cus . its . 3 am dont expect good concepts fleshed out i just want to talk about my favorite robert ideas ok ? hes cute to me.

i like. ok this is not even worth mentioning really but i really liek his like 7 lines in slash. SORRY. maybe just because i play him so so much and he is so so dear to me but well i will take all i can get. anyways this is my favorite of his its very cute. he only shows up in kys route for one ending that has way sicker art of it than it should haev but ..

i love this..... his raison d'etre being exclusively to defeat ky. <- this comes up later too (i love you nok)... like he kinda becomes Exclusively a pawn for the greater pwab story in mc and and also ac but.... like what a simple tie in to the constant gg theme of identity and being human and what not. this w his nok depiction make me fucking insnae... hes truly just some guy trying to prove he is Some Guy. like he sucks and should be put down ruthlessly but hey! thats something!! hes not just a ky clone hes the anticatholic ky clone and that makes him worthy of life just like anyone else. he should be not so weird about women though ok ?

i think i am too autistically attached to like. the assassins guild w millia and venom but the theme in gg that resonates w me most is this idea of life? and what it means to live. and this idea of wanting to live despite everything. life isnt something you earn or have to deserve . theres a lot in millia and eddies AC routes in particular when i think of this ...... anyways its why i genuinely really am touched by xrds portrayal of robo ky as this kinda like. dude who is jsut very confident in his own way of life. all his stuff about dreams and all is basically the exact same as millias ending in AC after she kills eddie and realizes she can move on and live happily and find life outside of zato and shit. u know? i liek when gg does this - telling the same story over and over in different ways. this one in particular is just the one i find myself coming to over and over again....

i also really like robo ky as a like . motivation for venoms arc? i guess? i cant word that. but all the assassins guild members go thru this mostly thru the urge of slayer this like realization they are more than just objects and weapons and can live and find themselves and what not. and like slayer kinda pushes venom over To robo ky as his own sort of mirror in that storyline. which is cute. it works. for both of them . theyre two very interesting characters to pair together and i get why they did it especially w the nok story of robo ky watching mk ii die and be unable to save him and venoms themes in ac mostly ending w this cautionary warning of his own destruction if he keeps up the whole ignoring the guild to look for zato thing. i just like it.

^ in this it does baffle me they became like the Yaoi bait or whatever i dont really understand that. i think theyre silly together but they have such a fucking interesting dynamic... crying rolling around i want their story to continue so bad and not because im biased and want either of them in strive because i think theyre the most fun gimmick characters. hey speaking of that htye are the most fucking fun characters im glad theyre the two arc sys paired up for xrd cus it means i get content of both my mains together easily. epic fucking win. the issue of this is that sadly they are both bad to women . venom is just slightly better because hes just awful to one specific woman and calls her a bitch so so so much . anwyays bad influences on each other on that issue but i like that two of the characters whos struggles focus on being human and reconning with being just a tool of those that gave them life get solace with each other. makes me happy

anyways. tldr. robo kys only addition to the themes of gg is that tits fucking rock and you should suicide bait ! thanks !

bestie i'm really stuck for money right now and need to think of inspiration, do you have any tips? I'm even considering starting an Only Fans hahaha

Hi lovely, i guess it depends on how stuck and what youve already got in place to get money. Like, I'm very wary of only fans and wpuld suggest trying literally everything else first just because its presented as an easy money maker with no consequences but really it isnt, its quite an exploitative platform, and I think it requires a lot of work and persistence to get any actual income from it.

What I will say, is get on reddit and r/eroticasells, you can make a bit of cash to tide you over by writing erotica for people, but again, u have to be careful, generally get the money before u give them any work u know. So that u arent scammed.

You can do that on fiverr too, but you have to be extremely careful about what you write in your advert because they suspend accounts at the drop of a hat and then u have to wait three months to withdraw your earnings. When I was on there I would withdraw my money the second it cleared. But i still got caught out by them and don't use them anymore. Its annoying though because fiverr was how i found the best clients who were willing to pay.

I don't know if u can do things like take on extra hours at your work (idk this feels like something you'd habe already thought of and lile super patronising to even suggest but idk) i ended up getting a second job and then a third job when i couldnt get good hours. It was kinda exhausting but i guess worth it in the end cause i got to keep my independence.

What i would say is,

Don't be tempted to use a credit card or any kind of loan, i know we're in a cost of living crisis so those loan compamies and credit card men will be out in force trying to prey on people who are short of cash. You can build up credit debt so quickly and its scary and stressful af so don't be tempted!!

I tried (and am going to try again) selling my old clothes on depop. That was a lot of effort too for my adhd ish brain but it could work for u.

Then like other little things like, my dad taught me some good budgeting skills over the years i guess.

But try to plan how much u spend a week on food/travel/everything.

So rn I'm getting worried about my money again and I'm trying to spend no more than £15 a week shopping, so I'll try to plan meals and stuff. If you don't cook from scratch its much cheaper to buy your ingredients for stuff like pasta all seperately ect.

This feels patronising or obvious again though tbh so if its something ur already doing then I'm sorry i couldnt be more helpful.

Times are really really tough and shitty right now an am sorry you're struggling bestie.

Hope some of this was useful, if u want me to elaborate about the reddit thing I'll try haha x

you know. as i am playing Stray and writing some things, i was working on an article about gameplay VS art- basically how many games dont seem to regard gameplay as specifically when they are so... driven on being a spectacle. gameplay is important for games, but so many dont think of it as an art itself. there are SO many games that are like oooo look at how realistic it looks. look at this linear story in a world with hyper realistic humans and its like watching a movie. and the gameplay is the most basic goddamn thing of just using weapons, scripted movements, one stage after the next.

its not to say those game are bad but they just tell great stories. and i love great stories. but i also like playing games that arent just... that formula over and over. how are we exploring? unique weapons? abilities to progressing? can the protag themself make gameplay different due to advantages or disadvantages? what genre would fit the story while bring new gameplay elements to the table?

this thought was had after playing Disco Elysium because i was so blown away by the format, and how fitting it was, and how it makde the story even more unique. im tired of god of war, assassins creed, cyberpunk 2077, the witcher, last of us, far cry, whatever rockstar keeps doing etc linear story game bullshit with no gameplay worth mentioning.

and as i play Stray (which i have run into a game breaking bug now so i cant play more) i realize that too is what is missing for me. Animal games as a whole are getting directed into this specific category of linear story games where the Animal part doesnt really matter bc the gameplay itself literally does nothing special in regards to it. it looks lovely. the world is interesting. sure. but the gameplay itself really isnt cat specific. lets be real, you could be lots of things in a game that is just asking you to jump and talk to npcs. as much as Stray may be wanting to be a 'tame' game with little stakes, it doesnt mean it couldnt have offered more on the actual gameplay.

and this is a problem. people giving such positive reviews only really have to say... the cat is cute, the graphics are nice, and the story is good. i have seen fleeting comments about people wondering if the game is fun to play or if the restricted jumping is good, or if anything actually regarding gameplay is interesting and more than just "jump and do stuff". and i see people defend the game claiming its worth it, because everything else is great! and i dont disagree its all very good, but why are we so often disregarding the gameplay of video games? not every one of them needs to do something wildly specific to their setting but like. this is what so many games are turning into. linear story with pretty graphics, gains infinite praise for being so realistic and like a movie.... idk about yall but im tired of it. i wanna be hooked by the gameplay. i wanna see how the subject and the gameplay intertwine in ways that i have never seen before. i want gameplay to be the art itself.

okay tldr im just kinda ... eye twitch at that whole parter LOL

like ehrhgh. SO preface: i think its always the case with "cliff hangers" wherein the reason why they fall flat so often is, like, if the actual cliffhanger itself is so... perfunctory. like they just do it because they felt like they had to leave us hanging on some tense situation - but the thing is, like? you dont NEED to orchestrate that, man; you already had our attention. so its so stupid then if like... they just resolve the situation in 0.2 seconds in the next episode. but its like yknow... its sth a lot of shows do unncessarily and ultimately if it is just a really weird blip when transitioning between eps its like. whatever.

BUT thats all to say... the end of s3 COULD have been a good use of a cliffhanger, yeah? because it's establishing, like, a pretty specific situation with longer lasting consequences than just saving someone from immediate danger in the first scene. but then they FUMBLEDDD ti like...

ough you set up sth genuinely kinda neat. i dont know why they walked it back so fast AND also made the things they did right less effective. like they open up s4 with john sooo alone and its genuinelykinda tragic but then by the end of the ep chiana's already back and its like so what... and then they all IMMEDIATELY reconnect next ep and its like- they dont even really get a proper freaking reaction, when its implied john's been out there alone for god knows how long on a dying ship like... its like nothing happened and

its like. i just feel like if ur not going to utilise the situations you construct - bc this is fiction, and you do construct the situations - why.... construct them? bc if you were gonna reunite everyone with so few consequences, we could have instead spent more time where it was worth instead. but no... and tbh that makes the cliffhanger thing even WORSE bc now u have to waste time walking it back to reset it... and its also a loss of momentum, you know? like- i know im bingeing this, so its a different viewing experience so maybe momentum isnt the right word, but yeah...i guess it just sort of sets the expectations and tone totally out of whack with what they initially establish and not in a good/intentional way

especiallyyyy bc then these two eps after ep 1... arghh!! bc of that they already are building off a strange foundation - but then with these, everything feels so rushed and sloppy. i genuinely had to check- did they kno abt cancellation, pre-production? bc i thought they were trying to speed through it but... naur, like...

farscape in the past has been one of the few shows to pull off the "just fucking throw EVERYTHING IN THERE!" bc it knows how to move quickly, and matter of factly but here its just like... stuff was just weak. i think, usually, when it DOES introduce a lot fast it knows how to really build them up. it uses super simple concepts and then layers them really well. here, not so much... i feel like the whole planet situation was, eh, contrived? is that the best word for it? its introducing a lot of weird mechanics to how it works- and maybe that'd be fine, usually, but again with everything else going on its like they introduce way too much, too fast. like oo-nii, also- i really loved the design, actually, loved the colour, but also kinda a really strange addition in here.

and i hthink its worsened with grammy granola grime bc i SAID I LIKED HER, I DO, but ive always felt with the more "spiritual aspects" (for lack of a better word) such as stark and zhaan they come close but also they kinda ... dont... pull it off ever. SORRY lol. i mean stark- actually stark did have some really good stuff in his first introduction, but i feel like its always so ill-defined in the bad way where it sort of feels like their nebulous abilities are used moreso to plaster over places in stories where they didnt know what to do rather than an actual exploration into something more interesting . like theres always a very shaky core to them- and that kinda sucks, bc you do NEED something even if you are trying to go for mystery or surrealism bc theres a difference between that and just kinda. yeah. anyways

thats all to say like. all of these issues and again entrenching some really important and heavy subject matter... EEK...!

like even just the minor shit. jool and d'argo. eh, man. just burnt through the whole damn thing in this ep... OK, LOL. IDC ABOUT IT? sorry... i just think its so weird how they handle other romances bc johnaeryn are so fucking organic and well-paced and claudia and ben do such a good job with the intimacy between them that just makes it real as fuck whereas like... everyone else is strange, man... eh. why'd you do it. come on man. its a shame bc i praised them in s1 bc they were pretty normal about zhaan and d'argo- kinda saying "oh, there's tension sometimes but otherwise its like eh theyre not super into it theyre just chilling as friends tbh" which is a dynamic that i actually find refreshing tbh... the more casual nature of it, yeah? as its told moreso through subtext and interactions whereas its like man what the fuck. everything with dargo otherwise has been, like, just so tell not show wtf...

and the major shit. i know the confirmation that jool's species are related to humans somehow is important. but its like... amongst this whole ep that whole thing really didnt have any impact bc like i said. its kinda all over. uhm. idk how i feel abt that. uhm well ... i dont like it. ok. SORRY. LOL.

but thats less so about it being done here even if it wasnt so good andmoreso i dont really want... them to be related... i dont know. what i liked about farscape was how it treated humans- john was never something special in the way trek always put "HUMANITTYYY" on a pedestal and forced the universe through human's perspective and culture and morality etc.... i really fucking hope it isnt some, like, "humans are their great ancestors" type of thing, that'd be the worst - ive had enough of that through shitty dw fan theories

and also just, like, in general ughghghg i DONT LIKE it when like.. there's a whole univers,e yes? its so infinitely huge and... well idk if it's coincedental, yet, but i dont like how small it makes the universe feel when it just so happensss that its humans like... AGAIN i think it detracts from whats established already, about how crichton is so far away from everything hes ever known ... it makes everything so much smaller in perspective and its just... ssorry to 🤓 but its soo 🤓unrealistic! AND YES YES YES its a damn fiction show- but i mean... within the established show, is what imean, bc i dont really care about technicalities USUALLY until then yeah its actually affecting the narrative where i think it is here and anyways thats speculation bc

AND OK

CANT SKIP AROUND IT

HEAVY SUBJECT MATTER

right the thing is i said it yesterday. i am not against them deciding to have *that* happen to john, in any capacity. there are respectful and meaningful ways you can explore that type of thing with care.

and its odd. bc i look at the time period this was done - and fucking hell, even comparing it to now - and theres stuff with the execution here thats... and i hesitate to say it, but it's almost... good... like.. im talking specifically about john's reaction and performance bc- god, even nowadays i feel like in media it doesnt always... get handled, well? but god- john doesnt take it well, and it isnt brushed off by the *narrative* in some parts (ehrm).. like i meanthe show knows that thats really fucked up, it acknowledges johns pain, and god like. i dont know; mauybe ben browder's performance was carrying, there, but what i mean is like.. even now i feel like with men, this type of thing isnt taken seriously or depicted like this with the grace given in PARTS of this, but also like...

GOD WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON. AND ALSO... D'ARGOS REACTION. UHM. LIKE EVERYONE ELSE'S- that just felt so fucking wrong, man. like jesus. and i mean, well, i think sometimes people do project a morality onto characters - expect a perfect reaction to things like this, when thats just not how people are, yknow - and i wouldnt want that either if it wasnt true, as i think an important aspect of this conversation IS reaction/others' perception but.. THIS? COME ON, MAN.. that whole bit is brushed off andits... icky which... again if d'argo and co misunderstood/brushed it off normally i'd be fine but its also like- the show itself brushes off them brushing it off, is my issue? no rumination on their reaction, which as i said an important aspect of that but... yeah. yeah.

and yeah. the thing in the first place- its also just sort of... ugh. like unnecessary. like- bc it isnt really reflected on much here it jsut... i dont think its shock-value territory, but it just feels like kind of a pointless jump to make - something a bit needlessly..,cruel... to approach such a serious topic when you really dont have the space to properly handle that kind of thing right now. and also its not- like from a story perspective it isnt... establishing anything, man, like... you could still have grayza domineering and even have her still like manipulate people through some similar means without that added layer (or hell, even everything up until that part with crichton i was kinda unnerved by but it didnt cross a line for me) and it would still be as effective. its not like the aurora chair or the neural clone wherein the consequences of them both have longstanding implications and do actually properly escalate-escalate, here its just like... alright lets just.. yeah. ok....

anyways

im kinda annoyed jool is now leaving like did her actress wanna go i mean thats okay if thats the case but like i dont like the revolving door character situation we've been having with regards to introducing new people like i just think it'd be fine man if you didnt. LOL

anyways

this isall so negative nancy SORRY LOLLLL im still having fun ofc its just OUGH... i swear, every opener i go through kind of a . ughhpart. at least it feels that way- maybe im misremembering

random thoughts i decided on my fursonas

they are entirely different people who know and hang out with each other, they're all aware of each other in some way .

louis (white cat) + maus (black-white rat) and puppydoggy (white-brown dog) form a gang of their own and theyre seen hanging out together. maus likes to pretend (or actually being?) to be the leader and lead everyone else. she's very fucking emotional and impulsive and tries to hide the fact that almost all her attempts at hanging out is to get some sort of confidence boost and compliments from it. a sense of not belonging, but wanting to be above others. she still doesn't make them do anything bad or ruin the fun, it's just extremely, extremely visible. she can't really lower herself to the level of others (or maybe she's hypercompensating for not being on the same level as them?) but on some occasions she manages to get all close with her friends. despite it not really being a part of her actual personality she does try to have the ready skills to actually be seen as a greater person. she takes upon everything, she does everything so that her friends can have everything & have fun and if somebody messes with them, she'll fuck them up. but she's the type of person to look angry and annoyed with you, but she's very, very insistent on helping you and sticking with you. kind of a tough guy style.

louis doesn't really get all social stuff but she tries her best. she likes to tag along with pretty much everyone, but to mind her business. she's open to conversation as long as somebody else is carrying it and she'll try her best to give a fuck. it's just really, really hard for her to be "in" situations. she has her own style (only wearing black/white, carrying her headphones around listening to music or just numbing out sounds, playing with some toy she has with her) and her priorities (she will tag along with her friends, she knows what she does and doesn't like and has composure so things don't set her off that much... or maybe, honestly, she probably doesn't "know" what's going on so she can't react appropriately... or, at all.)

puppydoggy genuinely just has nothing to do with themself, they're like a forever-kid stuck in a dissociative phase (unlike louis, who's just trying to her best to be aware of things around, and unlike maus who's hyperaware of everything going on) and they do not speak even a word or do anything indicative of a personality, but they're said (by maus, of all people,) to be very reliable and a good listener, so that's fine. they get dragged into situations if they're there, and when louis & maus remember then they get invited to other events too, so they only get left behind sometimes. they have not much of a self-worth so they understand, but whenever there's a long streak of consistent friendship between these three, they do end up having a semblance of trust in those two. they're quite younger than the others so they feel like they can never really have an equal friendship with each other. louis does try to make sure they don't forget puppydoggy at the park or something, but you know, she's pretty good at forgetting things. she holds their paw when crossing roads and opens bags for them, pure motherstyle.

-

"shake" is not part of their tiny friend group. they just hang out at the same place at the same time and they tolerate each other. the trio did want to befriend her (mainly maus, since she was real confident in how cool she looked & acted when they met) but "shake" isnt really all about having friends. like yes, they can loiter at the places she hangs out, but they better leave her alone otherwise. she's a lone wolf. they do a get a few nods or head shakes or shoulder shrugs from her when asking a few questions and hitting a nerve, but besides that she is fine with not having anything to do with them. she does like tej though, because she seems nice and doesn't annoy her at all with dumb stuff and she feels less of a pressure when around her.

tej is the only one "shake" kind of tolerates around, they can hang around at the same place, and tej regularly talks to her even though she doesnt get a lot of responses. she's a very nice girl and likes to talk to people and make friends, she is just very picky of who she talks to and about what. she doesn't like the weird pest trio, she thinks maus is way too fucking aggressive and annoying, and the other two are just way out of their minds for her to care about them. like, they're just real off-putting to her. so she only hangs out with "shake", with who she thinks she found a real friend in. she's pretty much the most regular girl ever, just is a bit shy and didn't really have any opportunities to make friends so she's just hanging out at the ""bad streets"" with the homeless. which makes people dislike her for being weird but she's fine with it.