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st-louis · 2 years

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carter on nasty knuckles 4/21/22

he's out for the rest of the season with this injury. at least he has time to make it right and heal it the right way.

he thought they had made good additions before the season, but it didn't go the way they expected.

"at the end of the day, we're the players and we need to go out and do a job every night. the last little while's been tough and we haven't been at our best. it's a learning process. obviously not a very fun situation to be part of sometimes" but you still have to be grateful to be playing in the nhl and learn from it going forward.

he wishes he could be out there with the boys for the last little stretch of the season, but it was a "fluky situation" and it is what it is.

he decided to play goalie at nine years old because he loved the gear and it really attracted him to the position. the masks were the one thing that he really liked, you could customize your gear and express yourself a bit.

once again the story about when he told his dad he wanted to play goalie, his dad took him down to the basement and took some shots "with those hard orange road hockey balls." and his dad was like, all right sure i'll rip a couple and see if you're good enough. "the first one he hits me right in the dome, between the eyes, right in the nose. and i'm leaking, like i didn't flinch, i didn't cry, and he's like, all right, maybe you can play goalie."

he had some nice things to say about carey price taking the time to get help and he's happy that carey's back between the pipes. it shows "just how strong a person he is. and now he's back on the ice doing the thing he loves. and he's my favorite goalie, so, i'm happy he's back and i get to watch him again and play against him."

in everett, he almost got traded to the regina pats because they were making a run. but he loved everett so much he didn't want to leave if he could. "i'm so lucky to have played there for four years and i miss it every day, playing with those boys, playing with those guys."

he got mono at his first flyers dev camp and missed the first month and a half of his last juniors season. when he got back, they went from last to first in the division in a month, and ended up going to the league final. he wanted to stay--"i love it here."

he thought it wasn't going to be a big deal going from major juniors to the AHL but he came in and didn't realize how good the american hockey league was. going from playing with kids to grown men, and they can rip it. the few months down there was really crucial in his development to go down and learn the pro game and lifestyle, coming to the rink every day. some of those guys in their thirties come to the rink and how hard they worked on and off the ice to get to the next level left an impression.

the whole situation last year--going into the season, they played in the bubble and had higher expectations going into last season. "shit kind of hits the fan, not a great year for myself, or our team, playing with no fans, not being able to have your family come down and see you, or your friends or anybody. i just started to focus on all the negativity and not focus on the things that are positive in my life and what i'm grateful for. all the negativity started to overcloud my thinking and my mind. during games i'd be like oh, here comes another two on one or something, instead of coming in and saying oh here's a two on one i'm ready for it, and looking forward to a challenge instead of being afraid of a challenge."

he's grateful to live his dream and play in the nhl and getting to work alongside twenty of the other best players in the world and having the support of family and friends behind you. sometimes it can get lost in translation but he's really lucky to play a game for a living.

he likes to go up in the stands before games (or on the bench, if he's not allowed in the stands) whether at home or away to take in the atmosphere. he takes some deep breaths and does a short three to five minute meditation and it helps him relax and get into more of a present state of mind. he also does breath work before games, focusing on his breath before and during games, if he's starting to overthink things or get worked up a little too much. "bring it back to my breath and refocus."

last year when things weren't going so well, he got away all of it. "i got caught up in thinking too much, my head was racing all the time, i wasn't sleeping at all, but i got back to meditation and focusing on my breath and being more present and i started to feel so much better at the rink and better at games. i felt so much more relaxed and like myself and i started to get more sleep."

his welcome to the nhl moment. first game against price in montreal and he remembered looking down at the other crease and there was carey price. he watched him all the time when he would come and play the oilers--carter and his dad would always go to that game. so to see him in the other net was pretty surreal and he focused on that a little too much "and i kind of got yanked that game. i let on three on like nine shots... i was in the wrong mindset." the next game he did better and carey tapped him on the pads before the game.

his third game against ovi carter made a save and ovi said "i'm fucking getting the next one on ya" and carter was like "all right, all right, buddy, you wish. sure enough, one timer. then he skates by me and just stares me down."

he used to be really bad about superstitions when he was younger. at world juniors he had to be the last one off between periods. so switzerland decided to fuck with him and put their backup goalie on the ice just to screw with him. it's a standoff on the ice and the zamboni is almost done and all the boys in the room are like "where the hell is carter?" they won that game. the next game they played against switzerland in the quarter finals they did the goalie thing again. finally he said screw this and hopped off, then the other goalie hopped off, and carter hopped back on. but after that he was like "this draws unwanted attention to myself and the team, this is dumb."

he does everything at a certain time before the game. the same thing every time. which includes watching ellen before games. the boys chirp him about this (they say his hair looks like ellen, so yands calls him ellen). he used to watch judge judy and ellen with parker and his roommate riley sutter so he does that on game days. he wakes up at three from his pre game nap and will watch the show.

the win in edmonton this time was really good. it was nice to get a win in front of family and friends.

his number 79 -- hextall was going to move him to 70 because of his junior number and they had the jerseys made up and carter didn't want to switch. he once again told the story about the first camp with connor parkilla, who went to every single tips game, and connor would always be there to fist bump the boys. he was autistic and was four years old during carter's first game and carter's known him practically his whole life. connor already got a flyers jersey with hart 79 on it after carter's first camp, and carter kept 79 for him, because it's the only flyers hart jersey out there right now. "i don't want him to have to pay money to get his jersey changed."

connor and his family came to the game in washington and they went for lunch to catch up. CONNOR IS ELEVEN YEARS OLD AND PLAYING GOALTENDER NOW.

he's actually NOT lactose intolerant? this year he had some really bad stomach pain. he could barely stand up sometimes and the boys kept saying "do whatever you're doing, because we're winning." the game he won in carolina he could barely stand up the first ten minutes of the period. the problem is he drinks a lot of water on game days and probably drinks twelve to fifteen bottles of water on game day, but he was mixing biosteel with every single bottle of water.

he got tests and they told him he's not lactose intolerant, he hasn't been eating dairy for the last couple of years. but after the tests they said it's not lactose, but he was told to stick to his normal diet, but he was doing the biosteel thing because tom brady was doing electrolytes with water. he went off biosteel for "like a week, and i felt normal, all the boys were like, hey you're not as gassy"

in washington kevin hayes told him to try some alfredo and he didn't want to do it but hayesy said "i bet you a dinner, if you're not lactose intolerant, you're buying me dinner and we're gonna eat cheese and pizza and all the shit you can think of." and he was fine. "i always think the worst i'm a hypochondriac a bit" so carter took him and yands to dinner at barclay prime and had all the cheese in the world and he was fine.

THE BOYS CALLED HIM BIOSTEEL BUTT and he said this without any embarrassment whatsoever my god

it was tough to see g go. he's a philly icon. when you think of the flyers you think of g. he's a flyer and always will be but the way the team was going there wasn't a chance for him to have success. so for him to go somewhere where he's got a shot to win a cup, he deserves it. he works hard, he's a great teammate, leader, and friend, and carter hopes florida wins the whole thing and g can win some hardware. it's tough and emotional but he deserves it.

they're all cheering for him.

he thinks auston matthews will win the hart. matthews texted him before the leafs game and texted him "come on bro at least let me get one" and then it was like 6-2. carter said he was "swimming" and he was like "aw, come on man."

"for me, i don't want to just go down and be solid and rigid in the net. you look at some of the guys back in the day when they had huge chesties, and now we're a little bit more streamlined with our equipment. you've got to be able to react and you've got to be able to block but there has to be a mix where you have to know the right time. i call it a shift. if i'm down in my block and a guy's trying to go top glove or maybe even glove side and i'm down in my blocking area and i'll just shift into it. i know it's coming this way but i can shift into it. my favorite save of all time is a just blocker side shift. okay, i tracked it well, but i don't need to react or overextend. i move my body and let it come to me and just shift to it. when you make that save it just feels so good. dilly loves that one."

at a certain point he's not gonna be able to react to the puck, like a shot from the point where the puck is a foot in front of him you just want to be big and cover up as much net as you can and get on your angle and have no holes.

a puck from the slot, the biggest thing is you want to try to read the release as best you can because a puck traveling at 88 mph from ten feet away is pretty hard to track. tracking is a huge part of his game, but it starts with the release.

"i love the jump [before the game starts]"

cliffy [shane clifford] was in everett when carter got drafted at age 14. his first camp with cliffy he was 15 and played a couple games with him his whole junior career.

he's lucky to have shane, dilly, and dustin schwartz back home; all of them are awesome at what they do and are great friends of his.

the ac/dc mask is one of his favorites he's ever done.

he likes ac/dc "punk rock like green day, we were talking because sum 41 and simple plan are coming, gonna go check them out. my dad got me into that when i was young, we could go to hockey practice and he was blasting nickelback or seether . . . he loves creed."

carter likes rock and country. his favorite genres.

country's perfect on the golf course, having a couple of beers.

still playing the guitar, has gotten a lot better. picked it up his second to last year in junior, took some lessons, first year pro started going to an adult music class and went twice a week. now "i just kind of fiddle around with it at home."

"i don't play in front of anybody unless i have a couple of cocktails"

he likes to play in chicago, the first time he played there the national anthem was so loud and the fans are screaming, you get goosebumps. it's nice to play in an original six team building.

once he gets healthy he loves to golf, and play tennis.

his best friend nolan's dad played with carter's dad in college hockey and they grew up with each other. the four of them go to a course in alberta and play 2v2 (dads vs. sons). there is "so much shit talking" carter gets in his dad's face, etc. carter's dad is really good and they have not beaten him yet.

"i love playing here. the fans are great. they're passionate. they love to see us win, they hate to see us lose. sometimes it's tough and we're losing and they're booing you off the ice, but they care, so. as a player you don't want fans that are cheering for you when they're not doing well, if they're phony or fake. they're true, they're honest, and they just want to see you win. they're behind us all the way. us players, we love that, we love playing in front of them. and i know when other teams come into our arena and they get on ya it's definitely an advantage for us, that's for sure."

#carter hart #this is so embarrassing #it's amazing lmao i cannot believe #flyers #goalies #just carter things #please read this he is not lactose intolerant it's so much worse than that #ari listens to podcasts so you don't have to

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hannahmcne · 5 years

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Lost on the Case - Chapter 7

At five o'clock Alya couldn't sleep, so she slipped out of the room as silently as possible without waking Nino. She went to the living room and spread out an arsenal of lined paper, black and blue pens, and sticky notes. She was going to crack this case once and for all.

Armed with at least four hours of sleep and a renewed vision of what had occurred almost ten years ago, she opened up her video of Chat Noir's email. Using frequent pausing, she was able to read the entire contents.

The Marinette emails were seven in quantity. They were short, out-of-context, and showed a side of her friend that Alya had never seen. They'd been sent over a period of two days and changed a lot of what Alya thought about the case.

CN: This is Chat Noir, reporting for duty. Do I read my princess?

MDC: Hey kitty. Glad it worked.

CN: Me too. Could have been catastrophic if someone else had gotten this

MDC: Created a new email address. La_coccinelle.

CN: Sweet. Just sent an email. Did it work?

MDC: Yup.

CN: Sweet. Make sure to delete these emails on your end on the off-chance someone reads your emails after we're gone.

Alya felt like she was fourteen again, famous for running after akumas and uploading stories about the symbolic history of ladybugs. One large half of her was overjoyed at what she'd discovered. Namely 'my best friend is on a nickname basis with one of Paris's superheroes' and 'Chat Noir puns in his emails'. But a very small portion of her spirit was shivering. Marinette had created the Ladybug address. She scribbled on a paper to keep her mind going, even though she was afraid of what she'd find.

Problem: Marinette created the Ladybug email.

Solutions/Options: It's the real account, or it's not.

And, of course, on that note, Chat Noir had definitely planned to leave to somewhere with Marinette.

With shaking hands, she started the portion of the video with the Ladybug emails. There were more of these, twenty-three in all. They spanned the time up until the night Marinette was kidnapped, even going past Adrien's death.

1. CN: Do I read my Princess?

2. LB: This account is actually under Ladybug, but you can call me whatever. Either way, it's me.

3. CN: Kay. I found a house. 420€ yearly rental. It's large, out of way. Two-story.

4. LB: Bed/Bath?

5. CN: Four baths and seven-bed.

6. LB: Wow, large. Sounds good. Rented car yet?

7. CN: No but I found a place. I'll actually step in and rent it after I've died.

8. LB: Kay. I'll suit up and hit up Alya and Chloe today. When does Nino get back?

9. CN: Late tomorrow. I can drop off to him.

10. LB: Great.

11. CN: I'm just about to push my fake body out the window, then I'll head over.

12. LB: Make it to the house okay?

13. CN: Yup. Put your things in a spare room. I'm going to order in for a few essential furniture items. Pls help?

14. LB: Use francecanape.

15. CN: Kay. Have things blown up yet?

16. LB: Sorry to have taken so long. Yes, things were dreary at school today. A gardener discovered your body before lunch, so when we came back from break Ms. Bustier was crying. I think I did well pretending I didn't know what was coming. Chloe left school. Nino was taken out of class and sent home. The lesson was canceled. Great day. Everyone misses you.

17. CN: I miss everyone. Do you think you played the sad crush part well enough?

18. LB: Knowing you were actually alive made it hard, so there weren't any tears. I just went unresponsive until Ms. Bustier sent me to the nurse. Then I went home with a nurse ticket and watched sad videos on YouTube until my face was red. Alya didn't pry, so I think I did good. I just got off of a facetime with her.

19. CN: Clever bug. Did my dad say anything?

20. LB: Not yet. I'll keep you updated. LMK when you come back to get me.

21. CN: On my way. Ready to be kidnapped?

22. LB: I'm wearing a black jacket with white buttons and red leggings. I'll leave in thirty-two minutes.

23. CN: I'd know you anywhere, my lady. Lying in wait and in position. See you soon. (I love you)

Alya began to cry. She'd forgotten so many details. She'd missed how Marinette hadn't cried. She remembered that stupid FaceTime.

The door to the bedroom down the hall opened and Nino emerged, rubbing his eyes. "Alya?" He mumbled. "Why are you up?" He came over and squinted at the screen. Alya wasn't sure he could read anything through the layers of eye boogers around his lids, but he still leaned down to hug her.

"Figure it out?" He asked.

Alya nodded into his shirt.

"Tell me." He murmured. He adjusted her in his arms and rubbed her back soothingly. Alya wiped her eyes.

"Adrien was the kidnapper. He pushed a fake body out of his window – I'm not sure how it passed as real, but I almost don't want to know. He and Marinette planned the entire kidnapping and were emailing each other thirty minutes before they staged it. The car was a rental. I- I need to find it." Alya reached toward her computer. Her fingertips felt numb. Since all the rental companies were still closed, she took a chance and went back to her public-domain file finder again. Nino watched over her shoulder as within minutes, she found a record that matched perfectly.

"White, four-door, tinted Chevrolet hatchback taken out on the same day Marinette was kidnapped. The name was Bryce Papenbrook. In Paris for a quick vacation. According to this court record, he came in the next day and explained that the car had been totaled in an off-road accident. He agreed to pay for the car in full and produced the entire cost – €16,919 - in cash, upfront. The company didn't press charges and only filed a record to explain why one car had been blacked out from the records. They also asked him to please refrain from renting in the future." Alya summarized as she read.

Nino grunted. "So, if Adrien took out €40,000 and the car was €16,919-"

"Plus initial renting charge of about thirty-five euros." Alya interrupted.

"Right." Nino agreed. "That's like, twenty-four thousand left."

"And they're renting a house." Alya flipped back to the emails. "See? And it's a large house too. They've got a great rate on it too. A house like that…" Alya thought. "Well, it depends on where they are. In a smaller town, maybe four-hundred euros is a reasonable amount, but in Paris... She trailed off. "I wonder if Adrien kept using that name?"

She cleared her public records finder and took thirty extra seconds to also clear her cookies so that the website wouldn't give her biased reports. Then she entered the name Bryce Papenbrook. A slew of records came up. Bryce shared the same birthday as Adrien but was three years older. He was married to a woman named Christina whose maiden name was Vee. Coincidentally, Christina shared the same birthday as Marinette, but was also three years older. They had a house together at 830 Whitebreak Road in Winebrook(Pronounced Vine-brook.).

Alya looked at the housing record a little closer. It was a large house with two stories plus a basement, open-concept kitchen, four baths and seven-bed. It matched what Chat had described to Ladybug with extra details. And to top it all off, they'd had it for ten years as of six days ago.

Nino opened his phone while Alya stared numbly at her screen. He opened Facebook and searched for Bryce Papenbrook. Third down on the list of related people was a picture of Marinette and Adrien sitting on the ground together, dressed in shades of black and dark red. Adrien had a smile that was more Chat than Adrien, and Marinette smiled sweetly like she had a secret no one could guess as she leaned into Adrien's touch. They were older, meaning it was more recent than their kidnappings. Nino nudged Alya to show her.

The cover photo was another one of Marinette and Adrien, and the rest of the account was private. But it was under the name Bryce Papenbrook, which confirmed everything they needed to know.

Alya went back to the settings of Chat Noir's email. She hadn't noticed it before, but the primary recovery email was set to . A teacher's email. Alya examined the phone number attached to the account and grabbed her phone.

"You're not really going to call him, are you?" Nino asked.

Alya cleared her throat two or three times in answer. She pursed her lips and then stretched them as wide as she could. Nino had to resist the urge to laugh. Then, Alya glanced at the clock. It was almost six. With any luck, Brye would be asleep. She dialed the number and put it on speaker at least three feet from her. No one picked up, so she dialed again. This happened twice more before the receiving end clicked.

"Mhello?" Someone groaned on the other end through a yawn.

"Hello this is Frances DoGood and I'd like to schedule a flight for thirteen-o'clock?" Alya said in a high-pitched voice. She kept her lips poised like she was whistling, not speaking. She sounded like an old lady.

"Mmph. What?" The voice on the other end was distorted through fabric noises and the general sounds of someone very sleepy.

"I need a flight from Versailles to Brussels at thirteen-o'clock." Alya repeated in her funny voice.

"Lady, this isn't the airport."

"This isn't Orlay?" Alya acted innocent.

"I think you mean Orly. No, I'm… Bryce Papenbrook. Not the airport. I can… find you the right number if you want?" It was clear that he really, really wanted to go back to sleep. Nino felt bad for the poor guy.

"Oh, no thank you. I think my phone can tell me. Sorry to bug you." Alya smiled wickedly. Nino almost laughed.

"No problem." If the action of rolling your eyes could be expressed in a sound, that was what came through the speaker. Nino bit his lip. A colossal yawn followed. "Goodbye."

"Bye!" Alya hung up. Nino burst into laughter, which filled their whole apartment and almost made up for the sadness of Alya's breakdown. Alya tapped her fingers on her laptop to let out some loose energy.

"That was Adrien." She said after Nino calmed down. "Could you hear him?"

Nino nodded. "It sure sounded like him."

"That means now I have his phone number, his email, and his address." Alya schemed as she closed all the tabs open on her screen and opened a blank google.

"And to think he was dead four days ago," Nino mumbled. "I just heard my best bud's voice for the first time in ten years."

"I know. Crazy, right?" Alya mumbled.

Nino looked at the screen she was on as she typed. He sat up straight. "What are you doing?" He demanded.

The screen showed the Paris Metro out of the city. Alya was booking a ride to Winebrook. She shrugged at Nino's expression.

"Adrien and Marinette ditched us without a word, so they'll have to deal with me dropping in unannounced to ask a few questions," Alya said.

"Us." Nino corrected.

Alya smiled and upped the passenger count to two. "Us." She confirmed. Once booked, she shut the laptop.

"Should we mention this to anyone?" Nino asked as she stood up and walked to the bedroom. "Marinette's parents, Chloe, Mr. Agreste?" He trailed off.

Alya pulled off her pajama top and began rifling through her wardrobe for a shirt. "I'll send Queen Bee a message through André Bourgeois's hotel management that she'll have to manage Paris for two or so days, and I'll tip off Marinette's parents and extend an invitation for them to tag along. As for Gabriel Agreste…" Alya made a disgusted face. "If you want to be the one to call him and say his son is alive, be my guest."

Nino held up his hands in surrender. "No thanks, hun. I'm not opening that can of worms. Guess Gabriel Agreste ain't getting told."

Alya smirked. "I guess not."

______________________________________________________________

After a three-hour subway ride, Alya, Nino, Tom, and Sabine stepped off with luggage in tow onto the smallest station Alya had ever seen. Winebrook had a population of barely five-hundred. There was one elementary, and one dual high school/junior high building. One hometown market store, one police station, no visitor center and two playground/park areas. There were no asphalt roads. On the bright side, it was one of the cleanest, prettiest towns Alya had ever seen. She had brought along her personal DSLR to take photos, and got shots many of the pretty, dated homes along the streets. Children ran in the road and many people stopped to ask who they were. Alya got the sense they were a close-knit community where everyone knew everyone.

They wandered up and down the roads for about ten minutes, but the town didn't seem to have an in-order numbering system. Finally, Nino stopped at a house where children's shoes were strewn across the porch to ask for directions to the Papenbrook's home. A preteen with unwashed hair and cowgirl boots led the way at her mother's request. Two kids, aged seven and four, followed her as she took them to the very last road in town. It was about a ten-minute walk from the subway station. The girl asked them all their names, where they were from, and what they did as small talk. When Alya mentioned she was a reporter, the girl scrunched her eyes up.

"Are you reporting on Christina's dresses?" She asked.

Alya shook her head, a little confused. The girl shrugged. "Christina designs dresses. Apparently, she's in with Gabriel Agreste and he does the advertising for some of her designs. She does prom dresses for some of the girls in town."

Nino choked a little. The girl studied him. He straightened up under her gaze. Finally, she looked back at Tom and Sabine. "You say you're bakers?" She asked. "Christina can bake really well. She always donates cakes and cupcakes to the school bake sell. Mom commissioned her to make my birthday cake last year."

Alya kept her mouth shut. Designing and baking… sounded like Marinette had included herself into the community.

Their new friend took them to the very last house on the very last road in town. The houses here were newer or remodeled.

The house she left them at had tan stucco with dark brown shingles and white trim. The windows were rectangular, and the door was made of stained wood. There was a sidewalk path leading up to the porch and a gravel driveway. The house had a large, grassy yard with rose bushes under the windows and a large tree growing about ten feet from the house. A rope swing and a treehouse were supported by the tree's large branches. A group of kids was playing in the yard with Nerf Guns, Barbies, and Lincoln Logs. The oldest kids were around ten, and the youngest around two. At least fifteen kids were hanging out at the Papenbrook house.

The kids looked up when Nino opened the white gate but overall ignored them. They continued with their game, giving a few curious looks but asking no questions. The four adults wheeled their suitcases up to the door. Alya pressed the buzzer and then fidgeted as they waited for the door to open.

There were footsteps behind the door, and a woman nearing middle-age with a head full of black, wavy hair opened the door. Marinette was looking over her shoulder as a complaining toddler followed her toward the door. Alya inhaled sharply.

Marinette looked at her guests and her welcoming smile dropped off her face. "Alya?" She asked. The years melted away, and suddenly Alya felt like the nineteen-year-old girl who'd gotten off a FaceTime call with her best friend after the boy in their class committed suicide. She hiccupped and reached out for a hug without a single word.

#miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #miraculous fanfic #miraculous ladybug #chat noir #rena rouge #carapace #missing #mystery-thriller #fanfic #alya cesaire #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #nino lahiffe #lost #found

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krispyweiss · 5 years

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The Best of Live Music 2018

Another year is coming to a close and with it, another year of wonderful - and a few not-so-wonderful - live-music experiences.

In an effort to accentuate the positive, Sound Bites is devoting this space - and many column inches of copy - to review excerpts from his favorite concerts of 2018. They’re grouped is as good an order as he could come up with in categories of A+, A and A-; shows of B+ and below didn’t make the, uh, grade.

The numbers in parentheses indicate the number of times Sound Bites has been privileged to see the artist in question.

A+

I’m With Her (3) at Southern Theatre, Columbus, Ohio, Nov. 5: Though I'm With Her are incomparable, the closest thing might be Crosby, Stills and Nash, if that group ditched the rock 'n' roll and managed to stay on key always. Their version of John Hiatt's "Crossing Muddy Waters" is to Hiatt as CSN's "Blackbrid is to the Beatles - an improvement on what’s already essentially perfect. There really are no words to describe the intensity of their performances, which have been on a steady uphill climb on their three Ohio appearances in the past 15 months, even though their first of those, in Cincinnati, seemed impossible to improve upon.

I’m With Her (2) at Memorial Hall OTR, Cincinnati, Ohio, March 5: Even if it’s 100 degrees, sweaters or jackets should be required at any I’m With Her concert, because Sara Watkins, Sarah Jarosz and Aoife O’Donovan’ll send shivers up and down concertgoers’ spines. Take any superlative modified by any adverb, and you still couldn’t adequately describe the quality of this concert.

Rhiannon Giddens (2) at Memorial Hall OTR, Cincinnati, Ohio, May 20: Barefooted in a yellow, floor-length skirt and a black blazer, with playful splashes of red dye in her black hair, Giddens sawed her fiddle and clawed at her banjo for about half the evening and spent the reminder of her time onstage using her greatest instrument - her expressive voice. Jumping, punching the air to accentuate notes, losing herself in the music with her eyes up in her thrown-back head, Giddens was entranced by the music and cast the same spell on the audience. Part opera singer, part jazzy chanteuse, part Southern wailer, part preacher, Giddens is a nearly supernatural force - like a once-in-a-century storm of music - the rare vocalist who spends entire concerts spitting out notes most singers would be happy to hit once a night.

Magic Dick and Shun Ng with Acoustic Hot Tuna (8) at Jorma Kaukonen's Fur Peace Ranch, Pomeroy, Ohio, Nov. 10: It's too bad Fur Peace Ranch doesn't have a marquee because seeing the billing of Magic Dick and Hot Tuna in lights would've been priceless. As it went, hearing the former J. Giles Bard harp player paired with virtuosic, wonder-kid guitarist Shun Ng headlining over Acoustic Hot Tuna was also priceless, as the top of the bill put on one of those impossible-to-believe concerts and Hot Tuna were their typically terrific selves during their warm-up slot on a cold, frost-filled Nov. 10 concert in Pomeroy.

An Exclusive Evening with Jorma Kaukonen (5) at Gramercy Books, Bexley, Ohio, Nov. 15: Jorma Kaukonen answered questions, read from his new memoir and played a few tunes when he held court in front of 60 devotees inside Bexley's Gramercy Books. The guitarist's only bookstore stop on his tour to promote "Been So Long: My Life and Music" was billed as “An Exclusive Evening with Jorma Kaukonen” and found the Jefferson Airplane and Hot Tuna co-founder perched on a barstool taking questions from former Rock and Roll Hall of Fame chair and Zeppelin Productions founder Alec Wightman and the audience; reading from the book; and showing off his unique picking style on chestnuts such as the Airplane's "Embryonic Journey" and the "trad." "How Long Blues."

Outlaw Music Festival feat. Willie Nelson (12) and Family, Van Morrison (4), Tedeschi Trucks Band (8), Sturgill Simpson, Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real (2) and Particle Kid (2) at Hersheypark Stadium, Hershey, Penn., Sept. 8: Though he's absolutely earned the right, Willie Nelson probably shouldn't follow Van Morrison and the Tedeschi Trucks Band. He followed an uncharacteristically jovial Morrison, who, dressed in his trademark dark suit, fedora and shades visited many corners of his storied songbook in a generous, 90-minute set. Meanwhile, the 12-piece Tedeschi Trucks band slayed the smallish audience in the cavernous stadium. And Sturgill Simpson played a jaw-dropping, 80-minute concert that was boiling stew of blues-based rock with the faintest hint of outlaw spice.

John Prine (2) at Ohio Theatre, Columbus, Ohio, Sept. 28: John Prine and his four-piece band played a career-spanning, genre-bending, tear-jerking, joke-telling show that found them running through all of this year's The Tree of Forgiveness - but not in sequence - along with many of the best tracks from Prine's songbook.

The Del McCoury Band (3) at Sugarloaf Mountain Amphitheatre, Chillicothe, Ohio, July 8: Despite fronting and giving ample spotlight time to his band, Del McCoury was the obvious star of this show, his acoustic guitar cutting through the music every time such a riff was necessary, and his voice hitting high notes most men can’t reach in their 30s let alone on the cusp of their 80s. He was in a playful mood and granted so many requests, he good-naturedly stumbled over lyrics to long-dormant tracks such as “40 Acres and a Fool” and “Blackjack County Chains.”

Huffamoose (2) at Ardmore Music Hall, Ardmore, Pa., Nov. 24: At the Ardmore, the Philadelphia-based Huffamoose played a triumphant, 17-song, 105-minute set just outside its hometown that featured cuts culled from its four LPs - its long-out-of-print, self-titled debut (on the local 7 label) and ’97’s We’ve Been Had Again along with the two most recent ones - and demonstrated that although much has changed, much has remained the same. This was the rare comeback concert where the words “we’re gonna do a new one” weren’t bad news.

David Byrne at Rose Music Center at the Heights, Huber Heights, Ohio, Aug. 11: Whether David Byrne is a simpleton masquerading as a genius, or - more likely - an intellectual hiding behind inane lyrics, the former Talking Heads frontman is nevertheless quite impossible to figure out even after 40 years of pouring himself out with his music. And Byrne is perhaps the only musician who can sing about donkey dicks (“Every Day is a Miracle”) and “Toe Jam” and somehow not come off as a cretinous moron.

Taj Mahal (5) Trio at Thirty One West, Newark, Ohio, Sept. 22: Playing a resonator guitar and with his solidly in-the-pocket rhythm section - the Taj Mahal Trio, ladies and gentlemen - right with him, Mahal got things going with a double greeting of sorts, playing rock-infused versions of "Good Morning Little Schoolgirl" and "Good Morning Miss Brown" back to back. These set the tone for an uproarious evening of song in which Mahal played the blues on his banjo and hollow-bodied electric guitar, played reggae on his ukulele, played folk on his resonator, played boogie-woogie on his piano and played rock 'n' roll on his acoustic guitar.

James Taylor (12) & His All-Star Band with Bonnie Raitt (2) at Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio, June 30: It’s not only Taylor’s catalog, but his presentation, that keeps fans coming back decade after decade. Not only does he switch up songs from tour to tour, he also tinkers with arrangements to keep things fresh. Raitt’s show would’ve been disappointing as a stand-alone concert. But as an entree to Taylor’s portion, it fit nicely.

Toubab Krewe (2) at Thirty One West, Newark, Ohio, Nov. 26: The five-man rhythm section known as Toubab Krewe took concertgoers on an aural journey that lifted off from Newark and went 'round the world during a stupendous, all-instrumental concert inside Thirty One West. It takes serious chops and exceptional song craft to hold an audience's attention for two solid hours while never singing a word. Toubab Krewe have both and both were in full flight Nov. 26 in Newark.

Dead & Company (7) at Blossom Music Center, Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, June 20: If Dead & Company wanted to prove something with their 100th show, they did. They proved that they are finally & truly a band - a band capable of putting together complete, knockout shows, rather than throwing a few solid punches surrounded by the musical equivalent of rope-a-dope.

Alison Krauss (4) at Fraze Pavilion, Kettering, Ohio, June 15: If the term Americana means anything, Alison Krauss is defining it on her solo tour in support of Windy City, on which she and her seven-piece band touch on virtually every type of music a group could possibly cram in to 90 minutes of stage time. Throughout the evening, Krauss accentuated the music with clipped chords and short runs on her fiddle. Though she was clearly the star, she happily allowed her bandmates to shine just as brightly as she did and seemed genuinely flattered to have each of them along for the ride.

Marty Stuart & His Fabulous Superlatives at Memorial Hall OTR, Cincinnati, Ohio, March 30: Stuart and the Fab Supers were terrific. Ostensibly a country band, they’re equally adept at playing rock ‘n’ roll, rockabilly, surf music, honky tonk, folk and bluegrass and did all that and more exceedingly well for a near-sell-out crowd that was as energized as the music itself.

Steep Canyon Rangers (7) at Midland Theatre, Newark, Ohio, Feb. 2: The Rangers spent two generous hours running through tracks new and old in a concert that ended with an enthusiastic standing ovation that caused guitarist Woody Platt to suggest we all follow them to the next gig in Chicago.

The Avett Brothers (2) at Fraze Pavilion, Kettering, Ohio, Aug. 14: The Avetts made Sound Bites cry as band donned at least 10 musical guises over the course of its staggering, two-hour, 10-minute show. From the first note in daylight at 8 p.m. sharp to the final bows in darkness, shortly after 10, the audience was on its collective feet, singing along to nearly every word, as the band held them rapt with its eclectic mix of county, folk, classical, rock and even a bit of prog that featured cello solos, bowed bass, rhythm banjo, piano-cello duets, screeching guitars and lengthy pieces that featured piano and organ a la the Band.

Larry Campbell & Teresa Williams (3) at Woodlands Tavern, Columbus, Ohio, Feb. 28: The couple set the standard early, opening with the Carter Family’s “You’ve Got to Righten that Wrong” before moving into their own “Surrender to Love.” Historical and contemporary. Universal and personal. It was a pattern that would continue all evening as Campbell on guitar, mandolin and fiddle, laid down a bed for the pair’s luxurious harmonies and Williams’ occasional rhythm guitar and shakers and made Sound Bites wonder yet again why Larry Campbell & Teresa Williams are playing bars to scores of fans instead of playing arenas to thousands.

Phil Lesh & Friends (14), Hawaii Theatre, Honolulu, Hawaii, Dec, 31, 2017: This show counts because one-third of it took place on Jan. 1, 2018, and because it was the best Dead-related concert Mr. and Mrs. Sound Bites had seen in ages as Lesh covered not only his former band, but Funkadelic, the Band, Velvet Underground and others.

Los Lobos (17) at Rose Music Center at the Heights, Huber Heights, Ohio, Aug. 7: Los Lobos are so hot, they can parlay a short-handed opening set into a standing ovation from a half-full house of George Thorogood partisans, who found themselves cheering the band from East L.A. as if they were the second coming of the Destroyers.

Richie Furay at Natalie’s Coal Fired Pizza and Live Music, Worthington, Ohio, Aug. 12: Richie Furay - best known as the Buffalo Springfield vocalist/guitarist not named Stephen Stills or Neil Young - plumbed the Springfield, Poco and Souther-Hillman-Furay Band songbooks during an acoustic set that followed an afternoon show earlier in the day. Daughter Jesse Lynch joined Dad on vocals and tambourine on all but the opening salvo of Poco’s “Pickin’ up the Pieces” and Springfield’s “Sad Memory.” At 74, Furay looks and sounds 20 years younger with a full head of salt-and-pepper hair, a life of clean living on his face and a voice that still shows why producers tapped him to sing Young’s songs with Springfield.

Todd Rundgren’s (37) Utopia (3) at Taft Theatre, Cincinnati, Ohio, May 10: Just as Utopia was essentially two bands, this was essentially two shows. Billed as Todd Rundgren’s Utopia, but featuring a four-piece reminiscent of the group that emerged after Rundgren’s proggy big band dissolved, the quartet of Rundgren, bassist/guitarist Kasim Sulton, drummer Willie Wilcox and last-minute replacement keyboardist Gil Assayas (who stepped in for the ailing Ralph Schuckett, who stepped in for the ailing Roger Powell), powered through a nostalgic - material ranged from 1972 to 1985 - 130-minute concert that served as a musical way-back machine for the Utopians in the two-thirds filled house. The arc of the band’s diverse songbook was on full display and as amazing as ever.

Todd Snider (10) at Stuart’s Opera House, Nelsonville, Ohio, June 22: An 80-minute, solo-acoustic performance that was both musically and comedically pleasing, as Snider combined his insightful numbers - and a few choice covers - with split-your-sides-open stories that often appeared mid-song but somehow didn’t interrupt the flow.

Elizabeth Cook (3) at Thirty One West, Newark, Ohio, May 16: Over the 80-minute solo set, Cook - who popped cough drops because of a cold but sounded healthy - mostly eschewed heartrending numbers like “I’m Not Lisa” and instead sung of an ex-husband who preferred beer cans to her can on “Yes to Booty;” the alcohol-fueled atmosphere she grew up around on “Stanley By God Terry;” recovery on “Methadone Blues;” and resilience on “Sometimes It Takes Balls to be a Woman.”

Cheryl Wheeler at King Arts Complex, Columbus, Ohio, March 24: Cheryl Wheeler was at turns funny, tender and socially conscious - but mostly funny - always folksy and 100-percent entertaining. We laughed - so hard we cried. And we looked forward to the next Cheryl Wheeler concert and the opportunity to hear the things we missed while doubled over in hysterics.

Los Lobos (16), Memorial Hall OTR, Cincinnati, Ohio, Jan. 25: Missing bassist Conrad Lozano, who was replaced, and multi-instrumentalist Steve Berlin, who was not, Los Lobos played an aggressive, one-set show that immediately erased any disappointment the absences might have caused.

Bettye LaVette at Jorma Kaukonen's Fur Peace Ranch, Pomeroy, Ohio, Oct. 13: Bettye LaVette was backed by guitar, bass, drums and keys/piano as she explored 12 back pages from all eras of Bob Dylan's songbook, from protest anthems to Christian declarations of faith, from well-known numbers to obscurities written between the 1960s and the 21st century. Indeed, the only person who might have rearranged these songs more radically than LaVette is Dylan himself.

Jorma Kaukonen (3) At Natalie’s Coal Fired Pizza & Live Music, Worthington, Ohio, June 13 (Early Show): There’s something refreshing about the way Jorma Kaukonen refuses to cash in on his legacy as a founder of the famed San Francisco sound with the Airplane. And as he played and sang his grizzled blues like a man walking the Mississippi Delta in the first part of the 20th century, it was again clear that Kaukonen chose the right path.

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Elton John (3) at Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio, Nov. 2: If Elton John is really going to quit touring when his current trek ends - in 2021 - he’s going out in top form. From the first, teasing note of “Bennie and the Jets,” to the final, lingering sounds of “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road,” the musicians tinkered with arrangements just enough to keep things interesting for people who know these songs as well as they know anything. And if this is really farewell - and if "Yellow Brick Road" is really the last song 18,000 Columbus residents will ever hear John play live - it's a fond one.

Tedeschi Trucks Band (9) at Palace Theatre, Columbus, Ohio, Nov. 9: The 12-piece band begun its "An Evening With" show just after 8 p.m. with a 55-minute opening set that set the table for what came later. Singer Mike Mattison wailed the blues and crooned jazz when he joined Susan Tedeschi on incendiary renditions of "Key to the Highway" and "Right on Time," the front woman got introspective on Bob Dylan's "Going, Going, Gone" and the group wound up powering through yet another spell-binding concert of originals and covers that spanned the past 100 years of music and its myriad styles.

Todd Rundgren (38) at Express Live!, Columbus, Ohio, Sept. 12: Always unpredictable, Todd Rundgren is even more so when he tours as Unpredictable. On these occasions, he and his long-time band - guitarist Jesse Gress; former Tubes drummer Prairie Prince; Utopia bassist Kasim Sulton; and keyboardist Greg Hawkes of the Cars - work off a list of several dozen original and cover songs and play the ones that strike Rundgren's fancy on that particular evening. And on this night, the result was a wildly diverse, two-hour set of songs that bounced around nearly as much as Rundgren’s career itself.

Bruce Hornsby (9) & the Noisemakers at Columbus Commons, Columbus, Ohio, Aug. 24: Hornsby and his current band channeled the pianist's former band, the Grateful Dead, and their taking-the-music-for-a-walk ethos. Stretching it out is a way of life for Hornsby & Noisemakers, who played just 16 songs in 130 minutes.

Roger Daltrey Performs the Who’s Tommy at Fraze Pavilion, Kettering, Ohio, July 2: On a stage packed full of musicians, Daltrey, the Dayton Philharmonic Orchestra and members of the Who’s touring band played Tommy front to back. And they played the shit out of it. The Philharmonic was a fully integrated part of the show, kicking off the concert with “Overture” as it’s always been meant to be heard; turning “Tommy Can You Hear Me” into a whimsical pops-concert moment; adding welcome flourishes to “Sally Simpson;” and filling “We’re Not Gonna Take It” with majesty.

Peter Rowan’s (2) Twang an’ Groove at Jorma Kaukonen’s Fur Peace Ranch, Pomeroy, Ohio, June 16: Once one of Bill Monroe’s Bluegrass Boys, a co-founder of Old & In the Way and author of classics including “Midnight Moonlight” and New Riders of the Purple Sage’s signature song, “Panama Red,” both of which were played toward the tail end of Set Two, Peter Rowan has been a part of some of bluegrass’ most-important 20th-century moments. He’ll be 76 on the Fourth of July, but his hands are still supple, his voice still able to climb to high-and-lonesome heights with his yodel intact, as his version of Jimmie Rodgers’ “Blue Yodel No. 3” demonstrated.

Dead & Company (6) at Riverbend Music Center, Cincinnati, Ohio, June 4, 2018: Anyone looking to understand why Dead Heads keep going back to see former Grateful Dead members year after year, decade after decade, needn’t look any farther than Dead & Company’s June 4 performance in Cincinnati. It was - by far, and until June 20 - the best of the half-dozen Dead & Company concerts Sound Bites has attended since the group came together in 2015.

Steve Kimock (3) & Friends at Ardmore Music Hall, Ardmore, Pa., Nov. 23: “Were gonna sort of front-porch our way in to this,” Steve Kimock said as he and his Friends took the stage and cooked up an ethereal, post-Thanksgiving stew that slowly bubbled into the one-off band’s - which came together for a special Black Friday performance in the City of Brotherly Love - opening number, KIMOCK’s “Careless Love.” It was a show that satisfied like a second helping of turkey.

David Crosby & Friends (2) at Kent Stage, Kent Ohio, Nov. 28: David Crosby, Michael League, Becca Stevens and Michelle Willis came into Kent and over the course of an hour-and-40-minute performance proved themselves a top-tier acoustic/harmony group that, with the right setlist, could be a salve for those still mourning the loss of Crosby, Stills and Nash. But with only a few exceptions - excellent exceptions but too few nonetheless - the quartet stuck with 21st-century material, resulting in a concert that consisted of near-perfect execution of fair to very good songs.

Steve Earle (3) & the Dukes (2) at Newport Music Hall, Columbus, Ohio, June 10: Steve Earle is like an outlaw version of Bruce Springsteen, singing everyman songs with a left-wing political bent that’s sometimes so subtle, people will miss it if they’re not playing close attention. Also like Springsteen, Earle finds himself in the midst of a late-career renaissance, as a triad of fire-breathing tracks from 2017’s So You Wannabe an Outlaw were among the highlights of a career-spanning set that opened with a full performance of 1988’s Copperhead Road.

Hubby Jenkins at Jorma Kaukonen's Fur Peace Ranch, Pomeroy, Ohio, Oct. 20: This was a fascinating concert - musically, spiritually and intellectually. Prior to taking his audience to church in a gospel-heavy second set, Hubby Jenkins took them to school, using his brief, 45-minute first set to educate concertgoers not only about the African origins of the banjo he was playing but the evolution of African-American culture and stereotypes via slavery, the Black Codes and Jim Crow and the minstrel tradition.

An Acoustic Evening with Lyle Lovett (3) & Shawn Colvin (2) at Templeton-Blackburn Alumni Memorial Auditorium, Athens, Ohio, March 21: It was one-third Lyle Lovett, one-third Shawn Colvin and one-third the Lovett-Colvin comedy hour. Together, the three-thirds equaled an evening of well-rounded entertainment.

12/27/18

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kiheons · 6 years

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"just because you call me mommy doesn't mean I'm going to baby you" I'M SCREAMIGN PLEASE elaborate on a shitty time where Bri uses that to dangle over Aquaria's head

I don’t know why I keep writing emotional shit. This actually shows a lot of character growth on Brianna’s part.

It’s one of the things Aquaria hates most. When Brianna uses that part of their relationship to try and invalidate what Aquaria is saying. Aquaria knows why she does it, Brianna is practically hardwired to hit where it hurts most and fight dirty. It’s helped her this whole time but it’s a shitty thing to say to your girlfriend. It comes out sometimes when they fight which is still irritating but Aquaria is like whatever it’s a fight.

Brianna uses it as a joke once. She’s teaching Aquaria how to cook and Aquaria is struggling and frustrated. “Here if you move your spoon like this it’s easy.” Aquaria frowning, and failing to do what Brianna is saying “This is not easy. Can’t we do something else?” Brianna laughing “Just because you call me mommy doesn’t mean I’m going to baby you.” Aquaria’s face falls. Putting down the spoon she turns to Brianna. “That’s not funny.” Brianna is like come on it’s a little funny. “No that’s not funny. That’s not funny Brianna don’t say that.”

“It’s not that big of a deal.” Aquaria looks pissed. “Yes it is. You’ve done this before. You use it as a weapon against me. That’s one thing but for you to make fun of me? It’s not funny, it never has been.” Brianna cocking an eyebrow “It’s just a joke.” Aquaria shaking her head. “No it’s not! Brianna when I call you that…it’s because I trust you.” Aquaria’s voice gets soft “I call you that because I trust you so for you to make fun of me like that? You’re basically laughing at the fact that I trust you.” And Brianna is like oh. It never occured to her that that’s part of why Aquaria calls her that. She always kinda thought of it as a fun kinky thing, she’s older than Aquaria so it makes sense.

“I didn’t know that.” Aquaria rolling her eyes. “Yeah I could tell. Clearly you don’t feel the same. Whatever, just show me how to do this stupid thing.” Brianna holding Aquaria’s hand. “Wait, baby I’m sorry I didn’t realize that. I didn’t think you actually trusted me like that.” Aquaria sniffling, Brianna can see tears forming in her eyes. “Well I do. Every time I let you do something, every time I let you take me to one of your meetings, I’m putting my full trust in you. I trust that you’re gonna keep me safe. It’s a scary thing to do that so for you to make fun of it makes me feel like shit Brianna.”

Well now Brianna feels like an idiot. “I’m sorry.” Aquaria wiping at her cheeks. “Whatever. You don’t care anyway.” Brianna shaking her head, “No I care. Aquaria did you think I didn’t care?” Aquaria nodding and Brianna feels awful. “Baby I care, I’m sorry it came off that I didn’t. I care I promise. You’re so important to me.” Kissing Aquaria’s cheek, wiping some of the tears away. “I’ll stop. I should have realized that it was bothering you. I’m sorry Aqua.” Aquaria leaning into Brianna. “I trust you a lot Brianna.” Brianna kissing her “I know. Thank you for doing that. I know the kind of person I am so for you to do that means a lot.”

It’s fine and great but the next time they fight Brianna says it again. The second she says it she immediately regrets it because she knows what she promised Aquaria. Aquaria looks so hurt. Whatever they’ve been fighting about doesn’t matter anymore. “Brianna you promised you wouldn’t say that.” Brianna feels like shit. “Aquaria I’m so sorr-” Aquaria cutting her off. “No you can’t do that. You can’t keep fucking up and apologizing and pretending like everything is okay. It’s not okay. You know how much I hate that.” Aquaria’s started crying but she’s holding firm. Brianna suddenly feels childish. She keeps acting like Aquaria is the childish one but Aquaria is absolutely right to call her out on this. It’s ironic. “You’re right.”

Aquaria sighing “I know you’re always on the defensive, I know that you’re always ready to hit where it hurts because of what you do but please. Brianna please don’t do that to me. I can’t handle it.” Aquaria’s voice cracking and as much as she wants to go hug Aquaria, Brianna refuses to. Aquaria is right. She just keeps apologizing and fucking up over and over and nothing changes. “You’re right. I know it’s not an excuse but it’s what I’m used to.”

Aquaria looking at Brianna and she looks way too exhausted to be only 22 and it all kind of hits Brianna at once just how hard Aquaria works. She has a full time job but she still goes with Brianna to events. She has her own issues but she puts up with 20+ years of emotional problems from Brianna. She could easily be doing her own thing, not having to deal with any of the shit Brianna dumps on her but she’s still here because she loves Brianna. Holy shit, she loves Brianna. Aquaria actually cares about her and loves her and trusts her and Brianna knows she’s a monster who’s trying to convince herself that she’s maybe not a complete demon but Aquaria genuinely loves her. Brianna has never felt stupider in her entire life.

Aquaria is very quiet when she says “I know you don’t trust me. I know you don’t love me. But can you at least try?” Brianna’s entire life, her entire career has been about keeping herself guarded and keeping everyone at arm’s length. She knows if she trusts the wrong person everything she’s spent all her life working on will crumble around her. But this is also the same reason her relationship with Bob didn’t work out. She didn’t trust him and she was too stupid to realize what it was doing to their relationship. Aquaria is giving her a chance to at least try. If she throws this away it’s all over.

“I don’t trust you. I love you but not in the way you love me.” Aquaria squeezing her eyes shut and Brianna can tell she’s trying not to cry. One of Brianna’s worst fears is emotional vulnerability but it’s now or never. “Aquaria I’m scared.” Brianna has never felt this uncomfortable and scared in her entire life. She’s seen governments collapse, she’s gone toe to toe with some of the most powerful people in the world, she’s put herself in the position where one wrong move could end her entire career and possibly her life. But standing in her living room, in her pajamas, talking to a blonde, bright eyed 22 year old who loves her in a way that Brianna can’t imagine loving anyone is still the scariest thing she’s ever done.

“I’m scared. Aquaria I don’t trust people, I can’t trust people.” Brianna thinks she might be crying and she genuinely can’t remember if she’s ever let Aquaria see her cry. “If I don’t trust people I can’t love them either.” Aquaria isn’t looking at her, just nodding. Brianna’s vision is going blurry and fuck she’s crying isn’t she. “Aquaria I don’t know what to tell you.” Aquaria wiping her eyes, looking at Brianna and Brianna feels pathetic. Aquaria is a much stronger person than her. “You don’t have to explain.” She’s so fucking patient with Brianna and Brianna wants to stop crying but she can’t. “Just try. I don’t care how long it takes, hell I don’t even care if you never manage to love me. Can you at least try?”

Brianna’s chest feels tight and she feels like she’s gonna drown and she has to sit down she can’t do this. Plopping down very ungracefully on the carpet and covering her face with her hands and letting herself sob. She can feel Aquaria’s hand rubbing her back and saying something that Brianna’s can’t really hear. Brianna let’s Aquaria pull her into a hug and she feels so stupid because Aquaria’s so young and she has so much ahead of her and she doesn’t need to be here having to comfort Brianna who should have her life together. But Aquaria is warm against Brianna, she’s holding Brianna tight and Brianna thinks maybe, maybe I can let myself have this.

Aquaria let’s Brianna cry into her chest for the next 20 minutes and by the time Brianna’s calmed down she feels like an idiot. “Aqua I’m sorr-” Aquaria cutting her off with a kiss. Pressing her forehead against Brianna’s. “You don’t have to apologize.” Her voice is soft and she’s so kind and Brianna wants to cry again. “I just need to know. Can you try?” Brianna nodding. She at least owes Aquaria this. “I can.” Aquaria smiling. “Then that’s enough for me.”

#craquaria #sugar mommy au #jesus christ why do i keep doing this #well uh #here's some information about brianna's emotional problems #fun fact im projecting myself onto her #asks #Anonymous

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