#once again. sorry for the nemik one | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tboyandor · 3 months

Text

return his quiet certitude to the soil

a lil melshian tidbit. meant to write more before spring semester but woooopppsss... also I've been having feelings about Nemik and his short-lived friendship with Cassian :')

title is once again from don't carry it all by the decemberists :) I cannot be stopped!!!!!

not sure exactly when this is set or where they are, just sometime between Andor and Rogue One.

@snaggletoothblues hope you enjoooyyyy!!

read on AO3 here

Cassian lay his head against Melshi's shoulder, watching his face as he listened to the quiet, incisive words of Nemik coming from the little datapad on the bedside table.

Melshi had been listening in relative silence for a long while, his brow slightly furrowed in serious concentration, occasionally making a small ‘hmm’ of recognition, but little more than that.

Finally, quietly, he asked:

“How did he die?”

Cassian swallowed, took in a breath of Melshi's strong, sweet scent to comfort him, before saying, “He took a pallet of credits to the stomach.”

Melshi let out a soft wince.

“It happened when I was getting us out of the garrison, on the trawler,” Cassian continued. “We were under fire, and we needed to get out, didn't have time to lock anything down before we lifted off. I pulled us out, and when I looked back… we should have been smarter, made sure everyone was up in the cockpit with me. I don't know why we didn't. I should have…”

“Hey, don't start,” Melshi interrupted, as soon as he noticed Cassian's breathing starting to become erratic.

He ran his hand gently along his arm, his fingers ghosting over the scar of a blaster burn on his bicep, before resting his hand at Cassian's belly, rubbing his thumb over the softness of his skin. Cassian's breathing calmed, slightly.

“It wasn't your fault, love,” Melshi said, turning his face a little to look at his partner. “You didn't have time. Shit happens, unfortunately. I'm sorry. I see now why you're so anal about making sure everything’s locked down before we take off.”

Cassian gave a small huff of laughter at that.

“Somebody needs to be,” he replied hoarsely.

Melshi smiled a little, and kissed his nose. Cassian nuzzled the side of his face, soft and rough at once.

“His writing is really good,” Melshi said, because it was true. Nemik had a way of putting things that made things click in Melshi's mind, thoughts and feelings about life under empire that he hadn't been able to put words to before.

“Yeah, it is,” Cassian agreed quietly. “All this time listening to it, it's probably what radicalized me. Along with… everything else.”

“There's been a whole lot of ‘everything else' for you, dearie,” Melshi observed.

“True, but it still helped a lot.”

“I can see why.”

Melshi stroked up Cassian's side, and down to the curve of his hip, and he let out a little sigh of gratitude for the loving touches, but the weight of some unspoken sorrow still remained in his eyes.

“I still don't understand why he gave it to me,” Cassian said after a moment. “I mean, he said I was his ‘ideal reader,’ or something, but… he never even knew my real name.”

Cassian's eyes misted over, and he closed them, and hot tears spilled down his cheeks onto Melshi's shoulder.

Melshi kissed his forehead softly, then drew him further into his arms, till Cassian was pressed flush against him, and was weeping softly into the crook of his neck.

He always cried so quietly, with rare exceptions, Melshi noted to himself. Melshi hoped that he didn't know the sound of Cassian crying better than the sound of Cassian laughing.

After a moment's consideration, he realized he knew both equally well.

Melshi pushed these questions from his mind, and focused on holding Cassian.

“Cass Cassy Kassa,” Melshi murmured in his ear, like a little loving incantation. “I love you.”

Cassian sniffled, and pressed a wet kiss to Melshi's neck.

“Rue,” he breathed softly and simply. “I love you too, so much.”

Then they both drifted off to sleep, the sound of Nemik’s voice and the meaning of his words mingling with their dreams.

#melshian #nemik #fic #my fic #andor #karis nemik #cassian andor #ruescott melshi #cassian x melshi #cassian andor x ruescott melshi

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andorerso · 11 months

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Sorry but I’m not a fan of vilanizing Maarva and Bix specifically because it sounds like the fandom wants to downplay all of Cassian’s previous relationships in order to make his relationship with Jyn more important. The Rebelcaptain fandom have been treating Jyn like the only important person in his life for years and it doesn’t sit right with me. What they had was beautiful and important but why tear down all he had before to praise it? Specially talking about romantic relationships, Bix is not this vile person who betrayed him, she was someone who cared for Cassian selflessly and loved him deeply, there’s no need to try to twist the beautiful thing they had.

oh give me a break

Jyn has nothing to do with this. Me saying that Bix did a shitty thing by revealing his secret isn't me saying she's vile, you're really twisting my words here. I also pointed out that Cassian may have been a shitty boyfriend too but that doesn't mean Bix didn't make mistakes. Cassian most likely told her about Kenari in confidence and telling the guy you're fucking who clearly hates your ex such a secret is a HUGE violation of trust, period, and I still can't imagine why she even did it because it's so nonsensical. It wasn't her secret to share, and it was a very personal and important one as well, so no, sharing that with anyone wouldn't have been okay, let alone fucking Timm. If you think it's fine to share your friend's important secrets, that's a reflection on you honestly, and I probably wouldn't confide in you about anything.

But criticizing a character's actions isn't the same as villainizing them. Can we not talk about characters critically anymore? Must they all be perfect little angels who's never done anything wrong? Bix isn't a bad person, but she did mess up here, and I'm pretty sure we can acknowledge that without demonising her. Yes, Bix and Cassian loved each other, and I never had any issues with that or him having an ex. Hell, I actually always supported the idea of Cassian having past relationships and talked multiple times about how people fall in love more than once. I think both Cassian and Bix messed up, yes, but nobody's trying to downplay their love or villanize Bix.

re Maarva, I'm not even gonna be nice here because I don't have patience for Maarva apologists. I already explained why I do not like her (once again, it's got nothing to do with Jyn!) and I'm not budging on that. I would have loved for Cassian to have a great, loving mother, whether bio or adopted, and I was pretty bummed and sad that's not what we got. But guess what, I don't have to villanize her because Maarva does that for herself. She's a shitty person who treated Cassian shitty and I'm not gonna act like she didn't just because she's his mother. Fuck Maarva.

And yes, I also hate it when people reduce Cassian to just a love interest for Jyn, but please tell me how criticizing Maarva for her shitty behavior, and in this one instance criticizing Bix for something she did, is the same as saying Cassian's only important relationship was Jyn. We tend to focus on shipping, that's true, but it's true for any fucking fandom. That doesn't mean we think she's the only important person in his life. There's so many other Cassian dynamics that people appreciate, I myself have talked tons about Cassian and Kerri, but there's also Kay, Bodhi, the guardians, Bee, Brasso, Draven, Luthen, Nemik, Vel, Kino, Clem, even Cinta... you name it. There are even non-canon relationships like Leia, or Shara and Kes, which are friendships I was always fond of, and I know many of us feel the same.

You say we tear down his other relationships to prop up Rebelcaptain but said other relationships are his emotionally abusive mother, and his ex which as I explained was simply pointing out that she did something questionable and Cassian's not the only in their relationship who messed up. Nobody even talked about Rebelcaptain, you did.

#i don't have anything against bix but i do think it was shitty of her to reveal his secret and im not gonna apologize for that #we should be allowed to criticize characters without it meaning that we hate them #this black and white mentality is fucking exhausting #putting this under a cut because i don't wanna bother people with this nonsense #replies #anonymous #anon hate

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