no no, don't shut up, please elaborate

we making a crack fic now? okay we making a crack fic now

Okay so like this is all off the top of my head but what if since New Hyrule is so disconnected from Old Hyrule that the portal he was supposed to go through got a little. fucked up. Idk he drove his train into it or something. And you know all the train imagery from FMA. (He also had Zelda with him at the time because I said so.)

So like he comes out of the portal and almost hits aNOTHER train on the track hes on before wildly swerving to the side and braking really hard. The train he almost hit just happens to have the Elric brothers in it on their way to Central? I think? That happened in the early story right? (sorry im a bit confused on event details its been a while).

So anyway the Elrics come out to see what the fuck was up with the bastard that almost hit them and they find a weird-ass tiny train making its own tracks and you can almost see the stars in their eyes as they gaze upon this wonder of alchemy. (Literally, in Alphonse's case.)(I'm having too much fun with this.)(His eyes operate like Phantom Zelda's because I said so.)

Engineer Link and Zelda climb out of the train after finally getting it to stop and do the. do the crossover fic thing where they lock eyes with the other main characters and each one of them is going "who tf is that" in their heads. Zelda immediately realizes what Alphonse's deal is, Edward is estatic that there's finally someone smaller than him, Alphonse is running threatAssessment.exe, and Link is just hoping he can go home and catch a break all he wanted to do was take a quick trip out with Zelda please-

I just realized I don't actually have a frame of reference for how Ed would act upon meeting somebody Interesting because every time he meets someone in canon it's because they're trying to kill each other—halp

FUCK YOU AND YOUR FAST REPLIES TO MY ASKS.

let’s do this one differently. if you’re soooo PeRfEcT then describe yourself as a cookie and explain why you chose the cookie you did.

we’re all waiting.

patiently.

with pitch forks ready to riot if you say the wrong fucking cookie.

no pressure.

FUCK YOU RIGHT BACK, WHAT ARE YOU, THE BOSS OF ME? 😤😂

Listen, i am a double chocolate chip cookie. I'm sweet as fuck, too much at times and i crumble easily. Also, people sometimes mistake the chips with raisins and they avoid me altogether, because who the fuck wants to eat raisins

There is no wrong cookie, there is only double chocolate chip 😌😌😌

“in silent screams and wildest dreams”?

Steve has been plagued by nightmares of death his entire life; his father’s and his mother’s, most of the time his own. Visions of blood and war and illness are the most prominent things in his life when he closes his eyes. At night he regularly dances with the Grim Reaper when she appears, flirting with countless outcomes of how his own demise will occur night after night.

Until he joins the army and meets Agent Carter.

The tables start to turn. While death surrounds him during the day, it’s a pair of dark brown eyes and velvet smooth red lips that occupy every corner of his mind at night. For the first time in his life, Steve’s dreams are filled with joy and vibrancy and life. She becomes his new dance partner, and he wakes up every morning with a foreign sense of peace that he’s never known before her.

But when he has a dream of Peggy with two bullets in the back of her shoulder, a silent scream wracking her body as a heavy boot steps on the, he wakes up determined to find her no matter the cost - even if it means going AWOL again.

fake title meme

Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin (AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)

It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.

Bonus:

Rolled up the living room rug to clean my apartment/make dinner on roller skates because I suddenly remembered that I’m an adult with free will…..Life is beautiful

"astarion is a traumatized abuse victim who deserves kindness" and "astarion is a mean rat bastard man who would rip out your throat for a corn chip if he felt like it" are two statements that can and should coexist

I feel like if humans swallowed rocks like birds do to help grind up food we'd have so much fun with it.

Can just imagine all the girlies on tiktok going "I know this is a bit controversial but I honestly love using limestone as a gastrolith. Not only can you readily forage it but they are just so pretty when smoothed out after regurgitating them"

and then all the comments would be like " girl 😭 😭 calcite dissolves in stomach acid!! Just use quartz if you want a pretty gastrolith like 💀"

What if Don Quixote is the superhero alter ego of Alonso Quijano? As in a parody of the superhero genre. Like he is trying to save a cat from a tree but it is not a cat but a camera, drone or even some kind of parcel containing drugs. He mistakes an advertising column or a billboard for a giant. He interferes in an arrest. He thinks he is driving around on a super cool Moto bike but it is actually a rusty bike that squeaks so loud you can hear him coming. HE GOES MAD BY READING TOO MANY COMICS. which superhero does he take inspiration? What superheroine / romantic partner does he base his love interest on? Is it Spiderman and Gwen or the Bat and the Cat? Supes an Lois? Or is she the accumulation of all of them?

but i’m a creep

Ghost Kitchen (brought to you by criminal entrepreneur, Red Hood)

Danny’s got the easiest job in Gotham.

He works as a fry cook at a shoddily-run, independent burger joint. Hardly anyone comes in, despite prices being criminally low, and portions insanely large, and while the manager looks like the average tough-as-nails ex-con, he lets Danny mess around in the kitchen whenever the place is empty. (Which is often. This place has to be the city’s hidden gem or something!)

Mr. Manager’s the only one ever there with Danny, except for sometimes when his buddies come over to smoke and play cards. Danny would find it shady, except part of his job is not to ask questions. Literally, he was told during the interview.

(It was a weird interview. Why would they need to hire someone who’s been in a gunfight before? Like, he has, but Gotham’s idea of “hirable qualities” is so bizarre.)

So instead he whips up some killer burgers with the frozen ingredients, and basks in the praise as the guys tell him he shouldn’t have, he does too much for this joint, ain’t that friendly!

Now, Danny’s a chef on the newer side. As a teen he’d preferred the look of Nasty Burger over anything with Michelin stars, and he only really took up cooking after Jazz moved out for college. But just like ecto-exposure used to turn the groceries sentient, Danny’s low-level ecto signature imbues all his food with something historically haunted Gothamites just love! And Danny’s never been one to half-ass a job when it makes people happy.

With fresher produce, real meat, Danny’s sure he can take his dishes to the next level. It takes a couple months of badgering, but his manager finally agrees to contact the mysterious store owner, who keeps the place going, despite profits Danny knows have to be in the red.

Danny spends the morning prepping. He pours his heart into his food, eager to impress. The big boss will be here soon, and he wants to prove that despite the dangerous location, this place has real potential!

It isn’t until the Red Hood shows up that Danny realizes he’s been working for a money laundering scheme.

i love when words fit right. seize was always supposed to be that word, and so was jester. tuesday isn't quite right but thursday should be thursday, that's a good word for it. daisy has the perfect shape to it, almost like you're laughing when you say it; and tulip is correct most of the time. while keynote is fun to say, it's super wrong - i think they have to change the label for that one. but fox is spot-on.

most words are just, like, good enough, even if what they are describing is lovely. the night sky is a fine term for it but it isn't perfect the way november is the correct term for that month.

it's not just in english because in spanish the phrase eso si que es is correct, it should be that. sometimes other languages are also better than the english words, like how blue is sloped too far downwards but azul is perfect and hangs in the air like glitter. while butterfly is sweet, i think probably papillion is more correct, although for some butterflies féileacán is much better. year is fine but bliain is better. sometimes multiple languages got it right though, like how jueves and Πέμπτη are also the right names for thursday. maybe we as a species are just really good at naming thursdays.

and if we were really bored and had a moment and a picnic to split we could all sit down for a moment and sort out all the words that exist and find all the perfect words in every language. i would show you that while i like the word tree (it makes you smile to say it), i think arbor is correct. you could teach me from your language what words fit the right way, and that would be very exciting (exciting is not correct, it's just fine).

i think probably this is what was happening at the tower of babel, before the languages all got shifted across the world and smudged by the hand of god. by the way, hand isn't quite right, but i do like that the word god is only 3 letters, and that it is shaped like it is reflecting into itself, and that it kind of makes your mouth move into an echoing chapel when you cluck it. but the word god could also fit really well with a coathanger, and i can't explain that. i think donut has (weirdly) the same shape as a toothbrush, but we really got bagel right and i am really grateful for that.

grateful is close, but not like thunder. hopefully one day i am going to figure out how to shape the way i love my friends into a little ceramic (ceramic is very good, almost perfect) pot and when they hold it they can feel the weight of my care for them. they can put a plant in there. maybe a daisy.

who let harrowhark “i cannot conceive of a universe without you in it” nonagesimus out of her enclosure?!🗣️

some details:

Watching Star Trek IV

Whale biologist: why do you hang around with that weird guy who calls you admiral and why are you so close?

Kirk: *hesitates*

Whale biologist, who lives in San Francisco in the 80s and is rapidly drawing many correct conclusions: that’s okay we don’t have to talk about it.

Woe, mermay moonlily be upon ye!!!

This was heavily inspired by @yamujiburo and their own mermay art!! (sorry for the @ :[ !!!) please check out their art if you havent!! They are SUPER COOL!!!!!!!!!! :D