not me (2021) rewatch | EP 2: what the heck is wrong with him?

And this is the last thing I'll say about why the new Ferrari HP sponsorship (aside from supporting genocide)— The campaign is such a flop. It was such a missed opportunity for bisexuality lighting. Like, imagine if the drivers were bathing in Red light on one side and Blue on the other to represent the merging on the Ferrari and HP? That would have looked so fire and dynamic. It would have given great dimension and would have looked far less jarring than what they put out. Instead, the campaign looks like a photo shoot directed by Cookie Monster and inspired by the Twilight films.

is it just me or does the wallpaper of the computer alan finds in initiation 6 look a LOT like the ending shot of alice's film from american nightmare

war breeds radicalism based upon dehumanization and if you think you haven't succumbed to it, you already have

Hey so. Have a Cryptor that I drew a while ago and never posted <3

(Click for quality)

i think another thing I don't like about verner vogel is like. If he didn't know sherlock was. SHERLOCK in the hotel, he definitely learned afterward. Iirc It's also only after sherlock tells him in the graveyard that he's back in cordona to process his mother's death that verner goes "ah but DID she die of tuberculosis? :)", which kind of makes me wonder whether or not he planned this whole thing.

Do you guys get what I'm saying? Like either he waited for sherlock to come back specifically to torment him (weird)

OR

he saw (and recognized) sherlock, shrugged and decided that, hey, might as well fuck with the poor guy haha :) make him relive trauma he kept locked away heehee (also weird)

Either way this is all done to a guy who is just barely getting his other foot into adulthood, too, like. Grrr verner is a terrible little man

You've been learning a lot lately, huh, kiddo?

other Hawk’s Nightmare thoughts, because it’s one of my favourite episodes and I still have more to say:

- The fact that Sidney eased Hawkeye’s fears not by reassuring him that he could cure the sleepwalking or nightmares but by telling him the nightmares mean he’s sane says it all. But also the implication that Hawkeye’s just gonna keep sleepwalking and having night terrors without seeing it happen again in the show is kind of funny lol, and why I headcanon that Sidney prescribes him sleeping pills after this. Like, you still don’t want to wander into the minefield at midnight, whether you’re sane or not.

- Hawkeye’s dad won’t let him have a bb gun <3

- I love Hawkeye calling himself a card-carrying skeptic and calling Toby Wilder just in case anyway, that feels very Hawkeye - skeptical but more emotion driven despite that

- “I don't believe in that stuff.” “Some people have extrasensory perception.” “I knew you were gonna say that.” One of my favourite recurring Hawkeye gags in which he denies/derides something and immediately/simultaneously jokingly plays into it. Same kinda joke as Margaret calling him childish and Hawkeye putting on an 8 year old voice to respond with “Are not!” or BJ saying he always has to have the last word and Hawkeye proceeding to deliberately needle him with it.

- The way this episode fits so well in the thematic thread of specifically Hawkeye and children is so good. Opening with Hawkeye upset about how young the soldiers they’re operating on are, comparing them to babies, which leads into nightmares of death invading his own childhood. The way it begins with Sometimes You Hear the Bullet with the twin plots of Hawkeye’s old childhood friend dying on his table and the underaged kid Hawkeye angrily sends home afterwards, then continues with Dreams and Letters and GFA... fantastic writing.

- Hawkeye deducing himself that the sleepwalking means he’s trying to escape <3

- “Actually Hawkeye, you’re probably the sanest person I’ve ever known. Fact is if you were crazy you’d sleep like a baby,” is one of my favourite lines, as a character summation for Hawkeye and as a thematic statement for Mash. It’s also a good centre for Hawkeye and Frank to revolve around as foils. Hawkeye is a stable guy in a situation that utterly fucks him up because that’s what war does, it’s not something that humans were meant to be able to take in stride. Frank is an unstable guy who loves the army and loves the war. They both end their time on the show with mental breakdowns, but Frank’s breakdown has nothing to do with the war, it’s solely about his own dysfunctional personal life, while Hawkeye’s breakdown is nothing but the war.

- Frank: There’s nothing in the dark that’s not in the light.

Hawkeye, in the middle of a war zone: Why do I find no comfort in that thought?

my reading of that post was something akin to [sniffles] i'd like to talk about big gay bbq ;_;

also God yeah if ppl wrote about the ahl more there wld be a lot of firebirds fic. or maybe i just see men and am like ouuuughhhh kiss ? i have Angles for like so many different pairings / polyships

- ash

What if Joey Daccord was enjoying the Big Gay BBQ with his boys after a hard fought game...what if Kole Lind looked at him with a smudge of bbq sauce on his mouth and felt insane about it....and also, what if Chris Driedger was watching this while wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses and vaguely yearning for Grubi...ouagh

[I absolutely derailed myself into a psychological assessment of Chris Driedger his 20s + musings on the AHL fic -- cut bc I had to scroll four times to get to the bottom and the people on my dash who don't care about the AHL just don't deserve that...just a note that there is ZERO salacious imagines under the cut]

Actually Chris is very interesting to me bc irl he is a 29yo who invested in crypto, but he is also a 29yo who suffered his way through his 20s not unlike the rest of us, just with more of a spotlight on him. but it's like, or at least of me it was like this, I hit 29 and I was like, well. I made it this far through my 20s and it absolutely sucked so much and I hated every minute of it and I kinda wish I was dead, but maybe a new decade will be different. I gotta make it through one last year of pushing through this shit and if I take a step back, yeah, it's gotten a little better with every passing month. Maybe my 30s are not a chance to start over so much as they are a chance to start moving forward. And I think for Chris (this is turning in a psychological assessment instead of a sexy imagine sorry) who has suffered through some catastrophic injuries, some terrible setbacks, some truly awful decision-making of his own, and just kept coming back from it and kept pushing forward -- to me Chris at 29, back in the AHL and yet again a back up, but also BACK PLAYING AT ALL which is very much its own kind of triumph, it feels very much like an interesting thing poke at in fanfiction. Like, okay Chris, you turned 29 in May in the middle of a playoff push, back early from injury when everyone thought your entire season was done an almost full calendar year prior. You're a back up again, but you're not really playing. You just watched this kid you love so much and this team who has embraced you have an inaugural season that quite frankly set the standard for any expansion team yet to come and CERTAINLY any team moving around (Wranglers. Cuda.) in the current era. Like, irl he seems very confident, very full of swagger, but also very full of humility and gratitude for how many chances he got and very determined not take anything for granted anymore. If you apply that to the experience of being a queer man at 29, gosh there are so many possibilities. Very "I am going to make it through this year if it kills me." Where do we go from here, Chris???

But also yeah he should eat bbq and send a photo of himself to his friends with his shirt unbuttoned flirting with drag queens and Philipp Grubauer should have a horny meltdown about it and spend all summer sending him thirst traps to get back at him. This does many things for Chris's ego.

also AHL fic is so interesting to me as someone who spent a couple years in bandom when fob had more or less fully taken off but a lot of pete's proteges were grinding it out on one hit wonders or collaborations with more famous artists and they were all clawing for every show and even p!atd wasn't really a sure thing yet... there are a lot of parallels to the whole "boys in buses got it so damn bad but we love it like the last cigarette we ever had" liminal space of the grind of touring and fighting for every last chance and making these friendships you THINK are insoluble but more often than not just dissolve as soon as one of you makes it or one of you breaks down and quits and goes home...the way Warped Tour was a party every year because for a lot of bands it WAS the last cigarette they ever had and they probably knew that on some level...i forgot where I was going with this. OH. the NHL can't even touch that level of "every game could be my last game"/"every show could be my last show" and the kind of desperation but also weird situational camaraderie that comes from that. Like on a pro athlete way for sure but also in that, 5, 6, 9, 12 hour bus rides every week all over the damn west coast. What do you do if you hate the guy sitting next to you. What do you do if you love the guy sitting next to you. There's no escape man. I forgot where I was going with that again but yeah basically, AHL fic is an untapped and very rich universe for people who love dirtbags, writing about people in close quarters, desperate feelings, and accept that there's a solid chance you may have to delete your fic someday when a prospect bombs out of hockey and turns into a normie. You know?? It's great stuff.

"She might be your girl but she's calling me DADDY~"

THIS LOVE DOESN'T HAVE LONG BEANS (2024) TEASER

‘‘actually, not disclosing your agab is suspicious, if you want to participate in conversations then you have to--’‘ what if I killed you with a large rock? what then?

On the other hand, Ichigo is very emotionally intelligent in how he relates to Grimmjow at the end. I love the whole “throw away your weapon to connect emotionally with your opponent” trope, and it’s done beautifully here.

AND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if i listen to the wrong music i'll CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! do you know how hard it is to do anything without music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the ballerina/physical therapist book. this is just another example of why it bothers me so much when people actively take the time and spend their time hating and shitting on books and things they don't like. i see something and think, "i probably wouldn't like that." or "this is probably not for me." and then i keep scrolling and move on with my life.

it's baffling to me that people take the time to make fun of and drag this kind of stuff just for viral internet points, make fake excerpts, and review bomb an author whose book isn't even out yet (that they haven't even read) just because they saw a tweet about it having a premise they thought was ridiculous. can you imagine being this author and discovering the internet has had a field day with your book and made a bunch of fake stupid viral posts about it?

And another thing, I know there will never be a gay man on this show because the male characters in RWBY are incapable of being vulnerable with each other. There's an entire suite of emotions that they're just not allowed to experience because the show is written by wannabe frat bros.