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illyrianshadowsinger · 2 years

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A COURT OF STORMS & SHADOWS. PART 1.

AN; This is my first fanfiction! This follows Elain and Azriel, set three months after the mess of the Solistice! I have been stuck in this hospital room for days and needed something to do, and seen as my obsession with Azriel has only been growing, I decided to give this a go? If you could drop a comment, or an inbox if you’d like to read more - if people enjoy, I have a number of chapters for this planned out! Any feedback, I’d be every so grateful? I’m also open for one-shot suggestions, ect!

CHAPTER ONE

He was here.

Right here in The River House. There it was; that painstaking look in his eye, hands clasped into fists at the side of his body, jaw set tight and unwavering. It had been three months since that night, the winter solistice. Since then Azriel had done every single thing in his power to avoid Elain at all costs. Even when she felt like her heart was cracking every time he walked past her as if she didn’t exsist anymore. As if she were nothing.

He’d made her feel like she was invisible. Just like her family did. She’d always known that they’d treat her that way, she’d adapted herself to fit into that place within this dynamic. But she’d thought more of him. Hoped for more.

Now Elain wasn’t sure of anything.

His steps were that of a ghost, light and unheard; they were passing each other in the hall way, the very same spot they’d been standing that very night. He wasn’t going to just walk past her without another word, right? She took a moment to look around, the lights indicated that there was no one around. And she finally snapped. Stomping her foot like a child, thankful there was no one else in the house to see this reaction from her. His entire body stiffened, but he did not turn, his stoic features staring ahead. That just angered her even fruther, pushing those buttons that no one besides Azriel got to see.

“So what?” She called, fire in her gaze, he could feel it burning into his back, scorching him to the spot in which he was standing. Was…was that Elain? With such tone and spunk, he thought? If it had been a different circumstance, he may have smirked or let that deadpan face show some kind of emotion. Did he dare turn and look at her? He didn’t, for fear of how he may react. This was the man who’d spent hundreds of years perfecting himself into being emotionless and detatched. But he couldn’t always trust himself around Elain. The sweet, doe-eyed gardener with the ability to see the future.

Why hadn’t she been able to see him? Night in and night out? Moaning her name in the confindes of his bedroom, wishing she was there to scare off the insistant nightmares of her accepting the bond to Lucien? Or to kiss away those silent tears no one knew about besides his shadows who’d swirl around him until he was all but darkness.

“So what?” He called her own words back to her, not once turning to face her, his voice a perfect display of feigned ignorance, his shoulders however, stiff and rigid. His shadows dancing eratically at his shoulders, like they whispering warnings to him that only he could hear. It annoyed her that she couldn’t stop her eyes from watching them, wondering the kinds of things they uttered to him; were they ever about her? Her private moments? Or were they telling him to run, just as he had on solistice. Telling him…she was a mistake.

That sent that jolt of newly found courage and anger to course through her veins.

“You’re going to repeat my words, really?”

“There’s nothing more to say” His voice was dealthy quiet.

“Azriel, I’m not a god damn child.” She challenged, her voice raising an octaive and for the first time his eyes widened; she’d managed to gauge an actual facial reaction from the man who seemed almost inept of doing such things. There was still things he wasn’t telling her, purposfully leaving things out.

Like she couldn’t handle it. Like she was porcelain, so delicate she could be cracked.

“I’ve never once called you a child Elain.” He uttered, a warning in his tone.

“No? I’m just a mistake then?” She bit back, that fire seering each word with her tounge.

She saw him move, she wished she’d been able to see his face. To know if those words had effeced him as deeply as they had her. When he’d almost kissed her before those words left his mouth and he ruined everything. Made her feel less then worthless. Just as Graysen had.

“Elain— you are too good for this, for—” He didn’t dare say those words. For me. It’d been chanting in his head since that night when they’d almost kissed and Rhysand, his High Lord had called him like a dog to his master. Because that was exactly what he was. A loyal dog who was close to biting his master; for keeping him away from her.

Elain Acheron.

How did they keep ending up here? She huffed in annoyance, cutting a glance towards his darkening orbs, and for a second, he almost stumbled backwards at the look she gave him. If he wasn’t mistaken, he’d have thought Nesta was looking back at him for a moment; silver and burning.

She was angry with him. His lips parted, but as usual only silence was emitted. The shadows engulfed him, trickling down each part of his body, shrouding the room around him in one quick swoop before he was gone and Elain stood there wide eyed and breathless. She’d never been able to get to used to the way they made him into nothing more than darkness; like winnowing but so completely different. How something like Azriel could exsist. A shadowsinger? Maybe the only one of his kind. Elain marvelled at how he could be so beautiful in becoming almost nothing at all.

Nothingness sometimes had its own beauty, she reminded herself.

Wasn’t that how people saw her most of the time? An empty shell and a mind of silence to go with it? Pure innocence, soft and dainty; but that was all they thought her worthy of. The thought had her gritting her teeth now she was alone. She usually restrained herself when everyone was present. But now they were gone? She had nothing to hide.

She could be unbashedly herself, without the worry of judgement. But why should she care? Why even bother keep up this charade if she was so damn tired? A thousand answers seemed to reer it’s ugly head in that moment, quickly letting a shaking hand run down her face. Because she’d thought he was the one who saw her.

Azriel. His name was the only thing that made her feel so completely alive, and yet, so uncontrollably broken in the same breath.

Without another word, she turned, taking to the stairs, in hopes that she could find someway to feel a little less alone. A little less invisible. But she knew that at this time of night, it was inevitable she’d find her own company the only thing in her way. Every night when she was alone in that over sized empty room, she’d sit at the window looking out into the garden as the moon lit up her favorite place and wonder. Where was he? What was he doing? Was he…with someone? She shuddered, a cold chill racing down her spine at that circling question. That was usually when she’d shut him out from her mind, pushing away from a hope Elain knew was futile.

Climbing into silk sheets, hoping sleep would sweep her away as quickly as it did when she wished for it.

But now as she lay staring at her ceiling, huffing a breath of pure annoyance. Sleep seemed to evade her, and the only thoughts that seemed to paralyze her in the dead of night were those haunting eyes, so stoic and withdrawn. She’d noticed deep purple marks under those hazel eyes, as if sleep was evading him too. As if maybe they were the same. She groaned, pushing the palms of her hands into her eyes. Each minute was eating at her.

Next time, she thought, next time she’d get an answer out of him.

#elriel fanfic #elriel month #elain and azriel #pro elain #pro azriel #azriel x elain

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illyrianshadowsinger · 2 years

Text

A COURT OF STORMS & SHADOWS

CHAPTER ONE

He was here.

He'd made her feel like she was invisible. Just like her family did. She'd always known that they'd treat her that way, she'd adapted herself to fit into that place within this dynamic. But she'd thought more of him. Hoped for more.

Now Elain wasn't sure of anything.

His steps were that of a ghost, light and unheard; they were passing each other in the hall way, the very same spot they'd been standing that very night. He wasn't going to just walk past her without another word, right? She took a moment to look around, the lights indicated that there was no one around. And she finally snapped. Stomping her foot like a child, thankful there was no one else in the house to see this reaction from her. His entire body stiffened, but he did not turn, his stoic features staring ahead. That just angered her even fruther, pushing those buttons that no one besides Azriel got to see.

''So what?'' She called, fire in her gaze, he could feel it burning into his back, scorching him to the spot in which he was standing. Was...was that Elain? With such tone and spunk, he thought? If it had been a different circumstance, he may have smirked or let that deadpan face show some kind of emotion. Did he dare turn and look at her? He didn't, for fear of how he may react. This was the man who'd spent hundreds of years perfecting himself into being emotionless and detatched. But he couldn't always trust himself around Elain. The sweet, doe-eyed gardener with the ability to see the future.

Why hadn't she been able to see him? Night in and night out? Moaning her name in the confindes of his bedroom, wishing she was there to scare off the insistant nightmares of her accepting the bond to Lucien? Or to kiss away those silent tears no one knew about besides his shadows who'd swirl around him until he was all but darkness.

''So what?'' He called her own words back to her, not once turning to face her, his voice a perfect display of feigned ignorance, his shoulders however, stiff and rigid. His shadows dancing eratically at his shoulders, like they whispering warnings to him that only he could hear. It annoyed her that she couldn't stop her eyes from watching them, wondering the kinds of things they uttered to him; were they ever about her? Her private moments? Or were they telling him to run, just as he had on solistice. Telling him...she was a mistake.

That sent that jolt of newly found courage and anger to course through her veins.

''You're going to repeat my words, really?''

''There's nothing more to say'' His voice was dealthy quiet.

''Azriel, I'm not a god damn child.'' She challenged, her voice raising an octaive and for the first time his eyes widened; she'd managed to gauge an actual facial reaction from the man who seemed almost inept of doing such things. There was still things he wasn't telling her, purposfully leaving things out.

Like she couldn't handle it. Like she was porcelain, so delicate she could be cracked.

''I've never once called you a child Elain.'' He uttered, a warning in his tone.

''No? I'm just a mistake then?'' She bit back, that fire seering each word with her tounge.

She saw him move, she wished she'd been able to see his face. To know if those words had effeced him as deeply as they had her. When he'd almost kissed her before those words left his mouth and he ruined everything. Made her feel less then worthless. Just as Graysen had.

''Elain--- you are too good for this, for---'' He didn't dare say those words. For me. It'd been chanting in his head since that night when they'd almost kissed and Rhysand, his High Lord had called him like a dog to his master. Because that was exactly what he was. A loyal dog who was close to biting his master; for keeping him away from her.

Elain Acheron.

How did they keep ending up here? She huffed in annoyance, cutting a glance towards his darkening orbs, and for a second, he almost stumbled backwards at the look she gave him. If he wasn't mistaken, he'd have thought Nesta was looking back at him for a moment; silver and burning.

She was angry with him. His lips parted, but as usual only silence was emitted. The shadows engulfed him, trickling down each part of his body, shrouding the room around him in one quick swoop before he was gone and Elain stood there wide eyed and breathless. She'd never been able to get to used to the way they made him into nothing more than darkness; like winnowing but so completely different. How something like Azriel could exsist. A shadowsinger? Maybe the only one of his kind. Elain marvelled at how he could be so beautiful in becoming almost nothing at all.

Nothingness sometimes had its own beauty, she reminded herself.

Wasn't that how people saw her most of the time? An empty shell and a mind of silence to go with it? Pure innocence, soft and dainty; but that was all they thought her worthy of. The thought had her gritting her teeth now she was alone. She usually restrained herself when everyone was present. But now they were gone? She had nothing to hide.

She could be unbashedly herself, without the worry of judgement. But why should she care? Why even bother keep up this charade if she was so damn tired? A thousand answers seemed to reer it's ugly head in that moment, quickly letting a shaking hand run down her face. Because she'd thought he was the one who saw her.

Azriel. His name was the only thing that made her feel so completely alive, and yet, so uncontrollably broken in the same breath.

Without another word, she turned, taking to the stairs, in hopes that she could find someway to feel a little less alone. A little less invisible. But she knew that at this time of night, it was inevitable she’d find her own company the only thing in her way. Every night when she was alone in that over sized empty room, she'd sit at the window looking out into the garden as the moon lit up her favorite place and wonder. Where was he? What was he doing? Was he...with someone? She shuddered, a cold chill racing down her spine at that circling question. That was usually when she'd shut him out from her mind, pushing away from a hope Elain knew was futile.

Climbing into silk sheets, hoping sleep would sweep her away as quickly as it did when she wished for it.

But now as she lay staring at her ceiling, huffing a breath of pure annoyance. Sleep seemed to evade her, and the only thoughts that seemed to paralyze her in the dead of night were those haunting eyes, so stoic and withdrawn. She'd noticed deep purple marks under those hazel eyes, as if sleep was evading him too. As if maybe they were the same. She groaned, pushing the palms of her hands into her eyes. Each minute was eating at her.

Next time, she thought, next time she'd get an answer out of him.

#elriel #elriel fanfic #azriel #acotar #pro elain #elain acosf

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