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wistfulrat · 8 months

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・❥・lesbian wangxian reccs ・❥・

ao3topships poll gate made me realize there are hundreds nay thousands of u who dont know abt lesbian wangxian ?? that’s so sad can i proselytize u real quick

mimilamp cinematic universe (the ppl’s mcu) sorry for starting this list with a whole author catalog. as if it's my fault!! these gave me covid. no listen mimilamp fics have feverish lesbian angst levels of hot horny despair that could paralyze a large forest animal. and on a sentence level it's just stunning. messy dykes fumbling toward love confessions while making emotionally insane choices and the sex scenes fuckn bang ??? god is real

good, good - 13.5k E Wei Ying has two broken wrists and now she needs Lan Zhan to help her do stuff (jerk off)

here’s a story - 46k E Wei Ying reluctantly joins her recently-dumped best friend, Lan Zhan, on a couples' holiday retreat. Snow! Drinks! Truth or dare! There's a s-s-s-single bed! You'll never guess what happens next.

out of your system - 20k E “Maybe you should get me out of your system,” Wei Ying blurts. “Maybe that’ll help.” // Wei Ying finds out her best friend Lan Zhan is in love with her and offers a really super solution.

exposure therapy - 14k E Wei Ying clambered up from the floor, put the joint on the corner of the night stand, announced, “Exposure therapy,” and got into Lan Zhan’s bed. // Lan Zhan doesn't like to be touched, Wei Ying likes to touch.

know no one else - 20k E Lan Zhan moves out, Wei Ying's boyfriend moves in. Six months later, Lan Zhan visits, they go to a party, and Wei Ying has something to tell her.

74243 this author should be studied in a lab bc these 2 fics ruined my life. a pulitzer prize short fic with immaculate tone followed by the fuck nastiest shit you will ever read. "wei ying swipes right" still a top 3 bar of all time re: fic summaries. like people died.

chef’s kiss - 6.5k E Wei Ying said, “You know, in some ways I’m kind of depressed. I took your biggest dick on my first try. Now I don’t have anything to build up to.” “There are bigger ones available,” Lan Zhan said lazily. “I can pay for express shipping.” // (Lan Zhan works the late shift.)

pull out game weak - 22.7k E Wei Ying swipes right.

plonk this is the only fic in many ways. dyke nmj's mustache academy award winning breakout role. possessive hot dyke lwj. the sentence "don't knot her you freak." have u ever seen a group chat get rabies in real time. the slut rot breached containment. it was a public health crisis. it brought back horny cinema. cultural reset.

good friends - 11.5k E “I could invite her over for when the game’s done,” Nie Mingjue offers. Lan Zhan hums, considering it. They do that sometimes. Take omegas down together.

occultings will i ever get tired of -wwx thinks she's straight and wants to practice being gay with sadsack lwj who is like sure im in love with u and this will cause me psychic damage but mayhaps that's the cost of being homiesexual--? no i dont get tired of the classics it's called taste

give me one good honest kiss - 25k E The text keeps flashing over and over in Lan Zhan's head like the bulb lights on a marquee. They’d been talking about homework directly before that, swapping notes on music theory in the baroque period. Then, like a fork of lightning out of a clear blue sky: wanna practice kissing? 😚 // Wei Ying suggests an arrangement. Lan Zhan, in love, deals.

saltyfeathers ok so like sure it's ill advised to get your cartilage pierced at claire's but if you wanted the experience of participating in deranged hysteric behavior that kinda bangs in a badgood way? well then.

the mall that has it all - 8k E She introduced herself in the food court, breathless after sprinting across it in Lan Zhan’s direction and vaulting over a table only to crash into the seat across from her, ask, “Can I have a sip?”, spring forward with both elbows on the table to wrap her burgundy lips around Lan Zhan’s smoothie straw, wrinkle her nose, and say, “What is that, kale? Not really my thing, as like, a mall goth. Oh!” A pleased, chaotic exhale. “My name’s Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan said, after taking a moment to fully process the last forty-five seconds, “What?” or; mall goth au

#just thought abt mimilamp “baby are you happy” and almost walked into traffic #wangxian fic rec #lesbian wangxian #mdzs #the untamed #cql #femslash #wlw wangxian #mimilamp #74243 #plonk #occultings #saltyfeathers

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keefessketchbook · 4 months

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CIRCE SAGA THOUGHTS!!!! ✨✨🐷

OMG I LOVED THIS SOOOOO MUCH, IT WAS SO GOOD. I love hermes

sorry this is kinda long guys and that it took me forever to make

Puppeteer

-the "polites gear up, you and i'll go ahead" strings at the beginning 😭. I loved polites sm

-Eurylochus trying to talk to Odysseus is just so sad and I love how it shows how he is losing not faith or trust but losing something in odysseus that they are going to make it home

-Odysseus is like actually tired and thinks that he truly is never going to make it home to his family

-JUST THE STRINGS IN GENERAL FOR THIS SONG AND THIS SAGA ARE SOOO PRETTY

-eurylochus' little rap moment(?)>>>>>>

-Odysseus' "damn" and "what" are the spring in my step

-Circe's voice!!!!!!!!! omg guys i love her sm!

-Circe casting her spell (the think of your past bit) is so pretty and i love how she lures them into a false sense of comfort and looks like she's trying to help them

-also love the "no i don't play i puppeteer" part

-"this is the price/we paid to live/the world is not/meant to forgive" 😍

-I LOVE how immediately Odysseus is like we gotta save them and Eurylochus is like we've sacrificed enough, don't you want to get home? and Odysseus is like i would love to but if it were you i would save you and i hope you would too. (also when Eurylochus is like "lets just run", i'm reading some feelings Eury has for someone 👀👀)

-also Odysseus saying "i can hardly sleep now" shows how in tune and how much he truly feels

Wouldn't you like

-HERMES' LAUGHS!!!!

-I love how the three gods we have met, two have come to odysseus invisible before introducing themselves (or Odysseus guessing)

-The chorus is so 70s and i love that, it totally fits his vibe

-The teaser bit that we've had is still beautiful

-The piano! the background vocals!

-holy moly i can't-

-"Wouldn't you like to use more than words?" I love how the gods seem to be following his journey and hermes knows odysseus defeats most of his foes but his wit and he knows circe wont fall for simple words

-Odysseus saying thank you and Hermes is like I just want free entertainment :)

Done For

-more strings <<<333

-Odysseus knows damn well she has his man but he still is trying with his words, cutie

-Love how Circe just wants to protect her nymphs

-Circe's high notes 😍

-I think my favorite part of this song is the part when Odysseus is talking how Circe can't spell him and then their banter

-"then i must be a god like you cause i got this root from the ground with my bare hands" 💀 bro is fully lying

-"Hermes gave it to you, didn't he? well yes but regardless" LMAOOO

-Their little duet ♥

There are other ways

-The opener for this song is wonderful

-Odysseus lamenting about his mistakes is beautiful just *mwah*

-Their voices blend so well together!!!

-I live for Jay using the "Just a man" motif/melody for Odysseus and it calls back to one of his darkest moments

-THE PENOLOPE STRINGS!!!!!!!

-Also apparently Jay messed up with the 12 long years part meaning to say 10 but i think that i shows how Odysseus is kinda losing it

-I love how he rhymes Circe with mercy and calls him and his crew puppets

-i love how circe gave in and decided to help them. ngl im just imagining odysseus give circe big puppy eyes

-"problem is this prophet is dead" the low note!!

-loved how circe is still trying to help him

-it made me so happy how circe changed her chorus to be nicer(?)/more helpful

Honestly in the underworld saga, i want to hear the "open arms" motif and if we do, you can find me on the floor bawling my eyes out

Stay weird, lovies <3

#epic the musical #the circe saga #odysseus #jay rivera herrans #greek mythology #theatre

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blahhhhhhhohmigosh · 1 year

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adding to the anon's puppy ask, Donnie could be repairing part of the automatic food dispensers and accidentally spills dogfood all over himself.

it wouldn't be the puppy's faults if they're hungry and Donnie now smells yummy

A Sweet situation

A/n: I wasnt sure if yall whanted D or Mik get tickled so i decided to do both+ some extra Fluff to this fic I hope thats okay. Hope you enjoy!

Characters:

Lee Donnie, Mikey

Ler the Doggies , Mikey, Donnie

Extra:Todd

Love: Plantonic and friendly if you ship brothers or some other pro ship then get outta here.

Summary: Donnie and Mikey promised Todd to repair his food dispenser. But something Lickery happend that made Mikey do something... sweet.

It was around Lunch time and the Pb&J duo was driving too Todds place the turtle tank. He called them and said he needed help with the food dispenser. The turtles didnt whant to go there cuz of a mision but Todd was their friend so they decided to help him anyway.

🧡: Im tired...and ofc that dispenser had to get cowabummed or something...

💜:Angelo, I know were tired well mostly you, but we promised Todd the help we just go check and get back.

🧡:True...He did save us 3 times and gave us that dumb old van...that we overpaied with that puppyland.

💜:You mean 2 times? That one time with shreeder and that one time with the crazy dentists.

🧡:Nope. 3 times. Long short history he saved me from meatsweats. Uhm i explain later im too tired to do this.

Explained Mikey. Donnie looked at him with a " I whant to hear that story" face then looked back at the road.

When they came they got welcomed with some sunshine lemonade and some cookies that Todd baked. Whrn they were done Todd took them to the area of the dispenser.

🤎:I tried Everything to spill the food out but nothing works! It wont let out the food thats in the dispenser can you two please help??

💜:Well that why we are here right Angelo?

🧡:Yep! Dont worry Todd! We will fix it as fast as we came here!

🤎:... So an entire hour?

🧡:Ye- whait wut?! We were driving in the tank an hour ago-

💜: No Mikey forgot we were on a mission?

🧡:Ohhh right sorry bout that Todd we were kinda busy but now we can 100% help!

🤎:Okay! I go make some lemonade for you guys! I bet you guys were really tired after the mission!

🧡:Thanks Todd!

Said Mikey as Todd walked away for the lemonade. The duo walked over to the food dispenser that was souronded by the hungry puppies.

They let out sad hungry noises. Mikey picked one up and started petting it.

🧡:Hello little one!

💜:Mikey we are suposed to work remember? Not playing around with the puppies!

🧡:Right! I nearly forgot!

Said Mikey he took the puppie up, showed it to other puppies and made a speech.

🧡: Our puppy friends! We know that you guys had a problem with the food! So as one of the creator of this place i promise we will give you the food right away!

Said mikey with a dramatic speech. The puppies started jumping around as Donnie rolled his eyes. It was not because he didnt whant to be here... okay it was one of the reassons but the second resson is cuz he is tired of doing things for today he just whanted to lay down and go to sleep or watch his phone.

D kneeld down to the dispenser level meanwhile Mikey put the puppy down and sat next to Donnie. Donnie took som tools out of his battle shell.

🧡: Hmmm it looks fine too me!

💜: But you can not open it Angelo. It isnt always how it looks like.

🧡:But what if I did this...UH-

Mikey punched the dispenser. Yes. Punched. Guess who didnt have the brain shell today?(GET IT??? BRAIN SHELL CUZ THEY ARE TUR-meh nvm)

Mikeys idea did work tho but not as they planed. The food spilled everywhere especialy the 2 turtles. The puppys looked at them like they were a kind of a good treat. The puppies frozed meanwhile the turtles grouned.

💜:Mikey next time you punch a machine can you atleast tell me? Now were both dirty!

🧡: Opis sorry brother! I will ask you next-... why are the puppys staring at us?

💜:Mikey cuz were coverd in foo- ... we beter run before they-

Donnie tried to say but was cutoff by a army of puppys running their way. The puppies jumped on the 2 turtles and started licking the dog food of.

🧡:NOOHOHOHO- AHH PUHUHPIES STHO- AHGAHAH

Mikey tried saying but he forgot dogs cant human languge in other words english unless someone thought them especialy puppys.

💜:NOHOHOHO- OH MI GHOHOGOS- IHI SWEHEHER IHIHI- GAHAGSGAG

Donnie laughed out loud with his youngest brother, cackling, lauging and gigling. They defenetly didnt expect this after that mission- That continued around 4-5min until Todd came in with the boys on the floor, looking wet(I mean duh they were like to death), having tears in their eyes and still gigling from the left out gigles.

🤎:OH NO!! did something happend?

🧡:Yehehes ahaha puhuhuhpy athahahck

💜:Thohohod i thhihihnk ithths thime fhor hus tohoho gho hohome. Whe fixhed you're machinhe so I ththink were done here right?

🤎:Yes ofc! Have a nice rest BFF'S!

Said the capybara when the two gigling turtles walked to the turtle tank still gigling.

When they came back Mikey got an idea for boredom so he went too Donnies room. They were exhausted but also bored so it was the best idea for now to hear a bit more of Donnies laughter.

When Mikey went into Donnies room he sat on his chair watching his phone. He was too exhausted too work. When he saw Mikey sneak in he spoke.

💜:Angelo if ya think I'm blind u are wrong, Need anything brother?

🧡:Just checking on ya! I mean that was kinda exhausting ya know...when the sweet puppies ti-

Mikey got shushed by Donnies finger as Mikey stod next to the chair Donnie is sitting on.

💜:SHHH! DONT YOU EVEN DARE BRIGN THAT MEMORY!It was SO embarrassing....

Donnie said with a slight blush from embarrassment looked away with embarrassment in his eyes, he did have fun but it was kinda embarrassing some puppies got them, the TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES. He then turned his look to his phone agian.

🧡:But ya gotta admit! It was fun! Even if we got embarrassed at least we weren't bored right D?

Mikey said poking his side. As Mikey poked it Donnie jumped up as his eyes widened and almost dropped his phone, as he catches his phone in time with his hand the other hand was holding Mikeys hand.

💜:AnGELO- DONT. Don't. Even. Think. About. It.

Mikey didnt listen too his brother and poked him agian. He was mischievous, did he got it from Leo? Maybe but that wasn't the time too think about genes, it was time for war.

💜:*Sigh* I warned ya now ya will suffer the consequences mine dear brother!

Donnie said as he tackled the box turtle to the ground as he smirked. Mikey was nervous panicked but at the same time happy and exited finally they arent bored.

🧡:D-D we can talk thrOUG-

Donnie didn't let Mikey finish his sentence as he squeezed his sides with a smirk. Mikey started giggling and squeaking as he tried to kick Donnie of him or make him fall down.

💜:What's wrong Angelo? Not so confident now huh? Ya know if ya are gonna keep moving even more I will dig into you're sides even more, What about that hm? Ya like the deal?

Donnie said with a smirk, but he forgot Mikey was strong he trained really much and he could throw an entire ship away with his mystic weapon so why can't he throw Donnie off? Well he can. And he just did.

As Donnie talked Mikey pushed Donnie of him and tackled him too digging in into his armpits. Donnie tried too block them with his arms but it was hard, as he blocked Mikeys tickle atacks he tried not too laugh, he wasn't planning on giving him the satisfaction. He finally bursted out laughing as he kicked around and laughed, they were having a tickle fight for some more minutes but then they heard Leo's voice.

💙:I'm gonna act like nothing is happening rn anyways we're getting pizza ya guys are coming?

💜🧡:PIZZA!!

They both said as they pushed off each other and ruined through the exit with Leo and Raph to go get pizza.

#lee #lee!donnie #ler!donnie #ler!mikey #lee!mikey #rottmnt #rottmnt tickle #tickle fic #fluff #ler #requests?#rottmnt fluff #Lee #im back from the dead #i'm back

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nico00235 · 2 years

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HI. YOUR ART IS AWESOME, AND IM NOW HAVING BRAIN ROT FOR YOUR BONE SOUL AU.

So, I have a few questions.

Regarding your last comic, where it was a remake of the “That pursuit, only leads to one thing” Scene, when she grabs his hand, she didn’t look like the evil “L imma possess you now” kind of look. She looked, guilty? Or sad and tried. Does she regret her actions but it like “Destiny cannot be stopped. Even after my death”?

On a separate note, when LBD is possessing him- (He doesn’t exactly look possessed in your first comic you made for the Bone Soul AU, so did she just, like, take up a home in MK’s soul or something else?)- IS THAT THE GOLDEN FILLET FADING AWAY??? Bud, that looks so good, and awesome, and creative.

I know that you answered a different ask with more information, and said that he doesn’t have his powers in that, white blank space, but is that because when LBD possessed(?) him, she just kinda eradicated his powers?

(Last thing. I promise-)

How does the gang react when MK disappears after the fight and don’t see him again 👀

Anyways, I’m done. Again, your art is so good. And so are your AU’s.

HI HI, I WAS LITERALLY STIMMING FOR HOW HAPPY THIS COMMENT MAKES ME, I REALLY WANT TO ANSWER THIS but I'm going to make it quickly and in points

I loved the observation you made, it's actually pretty funny how I want to explain this. LBD is tired, but not tired "i don't want this" is a tired-like "I need to get prepared for what I'm about to do" LBD is a master of manipulation, even if she doesn't seem to be (y'know bc, is a kid series) she knows how to get close to her victims, she knows how to look defendless, so she uses that to get closer to MK

Now for the second question

LBD soul system explanation

As you guess, she used the soul of MK as a vessel, in the second part of the comic (yes, I'm working on it already) there's gonna be a more information of it

But, this is not how it works

Bone Soul is the name of this AU because she uses MK's body/soul as a little extra energy for her to exist, she literally takes the life out of MK but, as you can guess, MK is going to be "ok"

LBD and MK's power's

In order to get all of MK's soul and body, LBD decides to first eradicate MK's mind to get to his heart/soul, MK and all living beings separate into 3 states

Body

Mind

Soul

To get to the mind, you must first get to/eliminate the body, to get to the soul, you must eliminate the mind, step by step, LBD keeps MK's body intact as long as it is in a state meditation/hibernation to keep her trapped, as her body was destroyed

MK thinks that having her here, she can be destroyed since she doesn't have a body to possess, and there is only her pure soul and only a fraction of her mind wandering through the corners of the white limbo, therefore she will not have power, but he is not correct, on the contrary, MK is the one with no power here either

The easiest explanation is like the place where Bill Cipher was destroyed (Stan's mind)

AND FINALLY

The gang is literally, devasted, because, let's say the way that MK disappears is not very unnoticed

THANKS FOR ASKING REALLY, I'm working the second part so don't worry <D

#nico answers (as he screams at the screen)#nico says as he sobs in his chair #lego monkie kid #mk lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid au #bone soul au

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gothmods · 2 months

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So i guess i keep a sex journal now

Im finding that a dildo stuck to the wall is much more enjoyable than trying to use my hands (just remembered that post about how dildo sounds like the name of a sad italian clown because.....yeah it sure does). Last time i thought heck im tired ill just lie down and use my hand. Bad idea to both the ignoring that i was tired and the relying on my hand/wrist.

Misc. notes are im trying to eat more raw fiber which is defs helping (thank you kale ily) and also have made a note to investigate f/m/m content.

I get the feeling ill be kinda shattered tomorrow though since using my hips/thighs is physically demanding but eh not much can be done about that.

Ngl its kinda crazy to me how well ive taken to anal like physically its been very little work to build up to it. Maybe it just feels that way though because front hole stuff is inversely difficult and unpleasant feeling.

Sometimes i wonder if medically theres a reason for that but since i dont want to do it anyway it doesnt really matter. I mean it did matter when i was regularly self harming but thats over now and honestly the sooner i can get that thing removed the better. Final nail in the coffin so to speak.

Which its been like 7 weeks now without doing any sh behaviours which really is the craziest part of all this. A decade of what had basically become habit abd its just. Poof. Gone. Found dead in miami.

Still kinda surreal..

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bingobongobonko · 1 year

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4 hour sleep gang but sooo worth it.. lancer rpg. blinks wildly. im. 3-session long bossfight, fucking INSANE. hardest fucking fight we've ever dealt with, surrounded by webs of bombs and mines, and the Fool is a literal stand user and she fucking summoned it to kick our asses. actual hell on earth.

became this at some fucking point 😭 EVERYONE WAS SO FUCKING TIRED OF HERRRRRRRRR SHE WAS DOING SOME MIND GAMES SHIT WITH INVISIBLE MINES ANDIT WAS GRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOURE DONE!!!!! YOURE OVER! such a good fucking battle though, albeit.. [TREASURE] and kuruushi got really fucked up throughout, im pretty sure more than half of us structured at some point. i fended off a bit better cuz i kept a distance, since my balor's a long distance mf. i love my superheavies. but yeah it was. bad. because even after we kill her stand basically, she's still puttin up mines and shit, and we realize. Oh we have to do a systems check.. we have to see the mines. and WOW its bad. its bad. we're completely and utterly surrounded. one fucking step in any direction, and either the Fool or [TREASURE] is getting blown to BITS. so we're freaking out... eventually though, [TREASURE]'s got rapid jet system or summat like dat, and he fucking bolts the shit out of there, but he's STILL NOT SAFE!!! BECAUSE SHE KEEPS TARGETING HIM.. THOUGH now she realizes the mines aren't gonna work (except on kuru, who at this point has exploded on those mines and structured like 30437498494 times now... it was miserable), so she hops out of the mines and right into us and we're like AHA YOU ARE SO SURROUNDED. AND WE DO. for [TREASURE] unfortunately, she's permainvisible and so a GOOD portion, if not all of his hits, don't land :( shitty fuckin rolls, it happens though tbh. im able to get a shot in at her regardless of missing, cuz cyclone has reliability tag of 5, and tellius basically grabs a spear and forces it into her mech, making her immobile and slowed. and THEN, i ram right into her mech and slam it into a nearby pylon, and force her prone. we're all fucking dogpiling her - but then we realize, thats WHAT she wants, because she grabs her grenade launcher and points it at the ground beneath all of us, knocking back the party a good amount and im pretty sure someone NEARLY structured from that. i dont get pushback thankfully, but im not the one who does the killing blow either. tellius rams himself back into the fight and fucking grabs his drills and forces it right into where he thinks the cockpit is, and lo and behold, there is a gaping hole in the thing. and it just keels over. and in the rubble and the dust thrown about, she's still alive. she's crawling out her mech pit, barely alive, bleeding from her midsection. this is *new.* we. won? i guess. the party, particularly skink and tellius get their words in, i know it gets revealed where the people who fucked telly over are, so thats OUGHG. thats. not good is it....... we will see.. but. the fool looks up at yves and is like. "Well? What are you waiting for? Do it." and yves does not need to be asked twice. he crushes and mangles her body under the heel of his mech, like he's killing a bug. and he.. doesn't feel anything. it's not satisfying. at all. and god it makes me so sad. when all of it is said and done, [TREASURE] picks up the parts of whats left of her, and just. holds them gingerly. it barely looks like anything. its so fucked. ooc i feel so bad abt it.. we really could have saved her. if we wanted to. we could have. but i know yves wouldn't let that happen. he has no reason to. yk. the military comes in, and they just kinda cat_blink.gif at us cuz like. ermmm are you guys okay lol. No. Not really. and the party's tryin to ease the tension, and make jokes and shit, but yves is like. Shut the Fuck Up. Shut the Fuck Up. and getting riled up and upset, because he just. doesn't feel anything. and its not funny anymore. none of this is funny. and elias kinda pipes in from the back like... hey man maybe we should calm down. yk? and i wont lie to you, yves's first instinct was to start screaming and kicking his cockpit, but realizing it's elias saying this, its kinda like. You Know. and they have a whole scene and... oh :(. well. yeah. i. well. yeah. its bittersweet. he's able to calm yves down, and it's just. really sweet.

im like.

its fucking over man. hes not wrong. but also, like i was telling flore, yves is a ticking time bomb, and the fear far outweighs anything but at this very moment, its fine. its fine. he's not wrong. shit is changing. it has to mean something. even if its doing this forever and ever and ever and ever. and dont get me wrong, he loves elias a lot, but he CAN'T do this forever. not anything personal with elias, elias is. more than he ever thought he could have, just. vague hand moments. all of this. if he could get away from all of this with just elias, he would. he'll do this forever if thats whats gonna happen, but it's not preferred, even having elias there. thats the bitter part. you can love someone, but it doesnt change the horrors. but the love makes it easier. if anything. yeah. nothing changes, the horror is still lingering, but the love is there

#cigarette emoji #its. yeah

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gayspock · 1 year

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OK SOMEEEE gripes

im ACTUALLY extremely conflicted on some of the present day stuff and i think its mostly down to the characters

like im very happy with jeff, and i think he's fine as is - brilliant, even, bc hes a genuinely refreshing take imo as opposed to what they could have easily done (i.e unlikable, distant from it all husband). not that he would be CRAZY or unreasonable to resent shauna, but like... its just fucking so much funnier + more interesting to me to see a character kind of just go with it, rather than to have them stew in angst. like i think its more interesting and allows for them to explore different beats than what you'd assume they would if you'd just known the basics of what shauna was up to. imo

similarly i was happy with adam as a character, too, and i think they developed him well enough for who he was and how he functions in this story. im glad he didnt turn out to be javi (if he was, i guess, bc he still could be technically that kinda suck wway more now tbh booo) and whilst there was nooo way he was gonna survive if he was just some guy which he was

theres also guys like kevyn. my jokes aside abt how scary he is im kinda fine with him, and i do actually makes some kinda sense that hes a cop + that he's now so straight-laced. some loser divorced dad. and it'd be a good comparison to natalie, and the lifestyle she lives now and how their paths diverged. however i kind of wish they'd... just let him go? like i wish he'd been at the reunion, and they'dhad that exchanged and then he'd just walked away to his wife and kids and her back to the yellowjackets no return no return no return huh what was that YEHA. my point is. i feel like there's no true resolution between them two thats organic and it just kinda feels weird to keep him around past that. i know they need a cop character for whats happening with shauna now but it just feels kinda ... bizarre to have him playing that role with that creep dude. bc whilst i do prefer limited characters in a show like this and to keep it tight and clean it just feels weird for it to be him and for it to be THAT insular AND, again, for him to keep sticking around when i dont feel like theres anywhere for him to go.... like its kinda DIFFERENT with the other cop dude, bc he isnt pre-established and he does kinda just function moreso as just. a fucking yuckhead fuckhead but instead its just this weird uhhhh. and kevyn is back! um. he will continue serving this purpose and we will never touch on him and natalie again. bc we shouldnt ofc but it also feels weird to have him there without ever mentioning it LOL

who else. fuck. like i am also very conflicted abt tai's wife and son like.... they do just feel a bit like- theyre just there? and i think that DEFINITELY makes some sort of narrative sense with tai, and with her whole deal- she has it all, she has everything but she has nothinnggg but... IDK KINDA SAD MAN. bc its weird i'll go back to this with jeff and callie, but it does make SENSE that the non-yellowjackets characters are always gonna be secondary with the story theyre telling in more ways than them just being secondary characters but with how fucking impossible it is to reconnect with fucking ANYONE after everything they did/went through BUT ITS LIKE... like i said i kinda like jeff and ironically his absolute lack of personality became a personality, whereas with simone&sammy i feel like theyre just kinda... SUPER functioning and that does kinda make me worry because whilst i know a lot of ppl are yelling for tai/van endgame... i dont know it feels weird to write them off fuckin completely which is what i feel like the show might kinda lean into at some point...😭like i want more for them, and from them. and i also sorry i also hate fucking "scary child who sees the supernatural" trope SORRYYYY its so tired to me and so lazy . give this kid some proper fucking development

and i think its also another issue im having with the present day stuff. theres too many characters rn and its being misspent. like do not get me wrong im not against quirky elijah wood BUT i feel like misty's ENTIRE. FUCKING. ARC. RIGHT. NOW. would be so much more fucking effective if she was alone and tracking down natalie by herself and kinda struggling with that. OR if they kept up her rapport with jessica- like have her tag along, whether it'd be under the guise of a fixer or not, and maybe have her cause some tension bc again if eel like.. ITS SO MUCH WEIRDER just having jessica's entire stint just come to an end in the way it did and it would have been a much more solid throughline into s2 than to bring in elijah wood whos just genderbent misty and its like . ok its just nott.... INTERESTING TO ME... SO WHAT. SHES FOUND A GUY LIKE HER? WHO CARES MAN. IM SAYING THIS AS A LITTLE FREAK WHO CANT CONNECT WITH OTHERS & YEARNS FOR KINSHIP, LIKE... I JUST FEEL LIKE ITS KINDA BACKWARDS AND REGRESSIVE AND NOTHINGGGG. jessica was a much weirder fucking dynamic and i think could have been interesting and i do think theres ways they could have had them both pursue natalie but now its just... ehhhhhh like

and i also feel like elijah wood is kinda bringing up the comedic parts of misty's story and dont get me wrong i LOVED a lot of the dark humour bits from her in s1 but i feel likw now its kinda getting too close to just. that. kinda like just oh funny joke funny dark humour. and losing a lot of the substance it should have, which is kinda necessary to the humour itself....AND he's sort of stealing her limelight like WHO CARES. GO AWAY DUUDE. have confidence in misty to be able to CARRY this shit, cmon, bc no offence elijah but SHE WAS WAY BETTER AT IT! bc thats whats so GOOD ABOUT THE SHOW OTHERWISE- you have the confidence to let all these girlies to carry their plotlines by themselves, so dont slip!!! GET BACK UP. and again im saying with the too many characters thing- its just... ehrhh. who cares to spend so much time on him??? whos just out of nowhere when its like.. again i'd prefer it if you spent that time with taissa or with .....

CALLIE. SHHES PROBABLY THE PERSON IM THE MOST CONFLICTED ON IN THE WORLD. bc in so many ways again i feel like we cant focus on her too much in shauna's little life that shes made for herself but I JUST... I CANT HELP BUT FEEL LIKE WE'RE IN THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE SPOT IMAGINABLE WITH CALLIE, wherein we dont get enough of her and her side to really empathise with her but we get too much of her to find her on the wrong side of irritating-AND THAT. SUCKS. THATS THE WORST. EVER. BECAUSE SHES LITERALLY A TEENAGE GIRL. I FEEL LIKE THERES SO MUCH MORE THEY COULD DO WITH THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SHAUNA/CALLIE IF THEY PUSHED FOR IT MORE, BUT ITS JUST... again its in this such an awkwwaarddd position where they only bring her in to be difficult it feels like. and the thing is? shes being reasonable. MORE than. shes totally justified in all the shit shes doing. but bc of the unfortunate way its framed she comes off as...... sadly.... unlikable which . again AGAIN IT SUCKS. BECAUSE SHES A TEENAGE GIRL AND THIS FEELS LIKE THE FIRST SHOW IN A LONG TIME TO HAVE A CAST FULL OF UNLIKABLE FUCKING TEENAGE GIRLS BE THE BEST EVERRRRRR AND SHE COULD BE SO GOOD MAN SHE COULD BE SUCH A GOOD WAY FOR SHAUNA TO LOOK INTO THE PAST BUTEE..... they kinda just write her off too and bring her up to cause complications obly. thats all it is. and i dont know i do get it i dooo get it bc again it makes SENSE with shauna and who she is and where her life is that the presentation would thereforebe kinda more her perspective but also... i do just feel... ITCHES. LIKE IM CLAWING AT THE WALL

ok last thing maybe idk. idk how i feel about lottie at all. its strange. i felt like she..... was kinda not present enough in s1. does that make sense ever at all. i wish we had more from her and her whole visions thing, and she had as much focus in the past as the others did from the very beginning. bc i feel like in s1... we didnt see enough of her in that regard? like we got her- we got bits of her. but not enough of her-her. bc im fine with her kinda story on paper (ish) and how its playing out but i t does feel weirdly unba;anced across s1 / s2. and its throwing me a bit there

#Egg.txt #yellowjackets liveblog

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questionablepastries · 9 months

Text

Armored core 6 spoiler posting ! This time for the ng+ run and the ending I did, and my thoughts on ng3 thus far:

This time the ending I got for my second run was “the fires of raven”

Pretty hardcore name for recreating the apocalypse and simply leaving the planet, but I get why Walter and Carla wanted it done. They’re the kind of people where the ends justifies the means. Eliminating all life on this planet, for the sake of containing and destroying an organic energy fuel substance that was on its way of leaking out to the space, spreading to other planets, more corporate wars fought for this fuel, and in the end leading to more fires of ibis situations on other planets

Or would it?

The game intentionally never (or at least hasn’t) explained WHY the first fires of ibis happened, and I’m just gonna go ahead and guess allmind is behind this, the group that’s been the most IN GAME but with the least story impact, and my second guess is the group that the original raven is from, killed that lil bitch twice don’t show your face around me again unless u wanna talk >:|

I doubt it’s ravens group tho. A mission I did on the side made it sound like the original raven leaked the information about coral LEADING to the corporations even knowing about rubricon. And it’s giving government leak/Edward Snowden vibes which to ME is a good guy position, now ALLMIND…..

They got some scary descriptions for the allmind arena. Yeah, AllMind exists for mercenaries (aka me) but.. the descriptions include stuff talking about fusing mech with the human mind to make some sort of link, make the body of the mech feel like the body of the pilot? Weird stuff, Also the allmind lady called me a “humanoid”, what’s that about???? Rusty seems to know my true identity since the second he met me (Walter suggests this), and Ayre suggests we’ve met before? So I’m thinking 621 was involved in the fires of ibis situation somehowwww

Then there’s all the hidden notes about these 2 scientists? And their sons that pick up that their scientist dads are losing their minds? There’s a lot im not piecing together at the moment, but there’s a lot of things that haven’t been explained fully, not that they need to, but I can feel an “aha” moment coming. I’m taking a break from the game tho I speed ran the game to get the second ending over with for this upcoming ng+ 3 run that I started (😭 I’m tired)

Back to the ending tho

SO GLAD I GOT TO KILL AYRE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ ayre fans im only slightly sorry

She was SOOOOO annoying the whole run. I’m so bugged by her doting girlfriend, yelling at me to survive WHILE all I’m doing IS surviving, her character is shoved on you, she hardly has offers any insight into coral other than coral is alive (you call them your brothers and sisters but can you get the mechs powered by coral to stop killing me????), ayre get a life!!! I hate mascot characters and I hate bitches (whiny girls) SHOVED ON YOU in any game, sorry!!! And u know what? she did actually get a life, I was so happy she fucked off, got in a robot herself, and started doing shit for herself even if it meant the first thing she did upon gaining autonomy was going in to kill me. Go girl!!!!! now what hurt was putting down rusty, but I killed him too fast, so fast that my monkey brain outsped the sad feeling I was supposed to associate with doing that, and I was glad they gave him two health bars.. because the first one I kinda mowed down and I felt semi bad about it and then when he got back up I (in full video game enjoying mode) went all chuuni and yelled “I LIKE THAT AMBITION OF YOURS RUSTY” and Then mowed him down again. So now I’ve gotta go to YouTube bc I didn’t save the fight to fully process what Rusty was yelling at me because when I’m under high stress I don’t hear anymore I just get the job done 😫

Gotta take a break tho, ng3 gave me a mission that wasn’t in my first 2 runs of the game and in that mission they shoved in those wheel skeletons from ds1 on me (😡😡😡) and THAT was the hardest mission I’d had in a while, so much so that it drained me of wanting to play after that (that and I had been doing nothing but play the game for the past 2 maybe 3 days) 💤

#armored core #aaaaaaaaaaa

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ticklish-n-stuff · 2 years

Text

You can count on us

Is this fic self indulgent?...mAybe

Ok so the past few days I've been feeling like shit, I keep going from normal to sad constantly and it's...exhausting. I think it's no secret that tickling is a big comfort for me, and today I woke up with the itch to write somethin so I thought maybe reading/writing about a similar experience to mine would help me feel even if just a bit better.

Anyways sorry for the sad lil rant.

I originally was only gonna write RuiKasa but then I was like...make it poly WxS 'cause it's the only right answer SKAKSJAJS (im kidding obv.)

Well I hope you all like it, I am curious to know what you all think of this sadder fic lolol

___________________________________________

Rui x Tsukasa x Emu x Nene (poly WxS)

Lee: Rui

Lers: Tsukasa, Emu, Nene

Warnings: Tickles! A bit of angst??

___________________________________________

Rui is one of those people whom you can't tell what they're truly thinking or feeling. He always has that stupid teasy smirk plastered on his face so it's hard for anyone to read his facial expressions. After having a hard time making friends he kinda just learned to mask up his true emotions, but now it's different. Now he does have people in his life that he can rely on. His partners from the WonderlandsxShowtime cast have always been so supportive and understanding of him. But you know what they say, old habits die hard.

Even though he knew his partners were genuine, that empty feeling at the pit of his stomach tried to convince him otherwise. These past few days, Rui had been having multiple sad episodes where he just feels like curling up and wanting to disappear even for just a moment. It was very tiring and exhausting having to deal with that constant sadness. His partners had always reassured him that he could rely on them whenever he needed them, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to open up to them. He thought that maybe he could ignore that feeling and carry on like nothing had happened, but as the days went on it became harder and harder to hold it in. It was so bad even his usual smirk was nowhere to be found. He couldn't bare the thought of facing his partners in this state, so he started to purposely avoid them, at school, at work, whenever he ran into one of them he quickly changed direction.

Of course his partners were no dumbasses (even if they looked like it) so they quickly caught onto his odd behaviour. One day at work while Rui was trying to occupy himself with one of his inventions, the other three talked about what could possibly be tormenting him.

"Okay so everyone agrees that Rui hasn't been himself these past few days?" they all nodded their heads.

"Nene you've known him longer than us, do you know why he's been acting this way?".

"I'm not sure, he's never been good at expressing his feelings..".

"And he doesn't seem to wanna tell us either..." Emu looked down to the ground with a sad look on her face. She hated seeing one of her partners struggling all alone.

"Okay clearly something is wrong, but he won't tell us. How are we supposed to help him if we don't know what's wrong in the first place...!" Tsukasa felt frustrated and angry with himself, he wanted to help Rui so badly, but he didn't even know where to start.

As an intense silence settled over the trio, Rui himself approached them, trying to muster up his best smile even if it hurt. He hated being so close and yet so distant from his partners, but what else could he do?

"Uhh so I'm done working on my bot, if that'll be all I'll be heading back home now".

Before any of them could even think of a reply Rui was already marching away. They definitely noticed the way his face instantly dropped as he walked away. The three of them sighed in defeat, until...

"Is that...Rui's drone?".

"Uhm yeah, I guess he must've forgotten it, why do you-... Tsukasa what are you planning?" The greenette questioned once the blonde quickly took hold of the drone.

"Well...I was sorta kinda thinking that MAYBE we could use it to follow him..." he trailed off as he figured out how to opperate it.

"That's kinda weird...".

"B-but he follows people with drones all the time! Even the day we met he had been following me with one. I think it's only fair I get to do it atleast once to him... What do you think Emu?!".

"I think...that yes! I really wanna know what's bothering him, pleaaaase Nene?" Emu got on her hands and knees in front of Nene, trying to convince her into stalking their boyfriend (it sounded much better in her head).

"Ugh...fine...".

Emu cheered and slapped a big kiss on Nene's cheek as they all got around to operate the drone. After some fiddling with it they managed to put it up into the sky.

"Do you see him yet?!".

"Uhm no I don't...- Wait! I think that's him!" cheered out Tsukasa as he watched the small screen on the remote.

"Yup that's him alright, looks like he's heading straight home".

They all watched attently as Rui made his way home, nothing out of the ordinary. That was until he made it into his room, his partners watched in sadness as they saw their boyfriend sitting down on the floor, in front of his bed, and hug his knees to his chest as he burried his face between them. They could all feel their hearts shatter at the scene, but what really sent them over the edge were the muffled sobs that came from their purple boyfriend. They all quickly reacted when hearing the noise without a second thought.

"Okay we have to go, NOW!".

They all ran to Rui's house, with Tsukasa and Nene breaking and entering through the front door while Emu crawled into his room through a window. Rui was so lost in thought he didn't even bother to look up when he heard feet scattering like mad in his room. Suddenly...he felt his braint shut off when he felt three pairs of arms wrapped securely around him as his partners gently reassured him and comforted him.

"It's okay, you're not alone anymore".

"We're here for you, and we always will".

"Let it all out, you're safe now".

And just like that, Rui started sobbing louder. Letting all those held up emotions out as he relaxed in the comforting touch of his parters. He cried and cried until there were no tears left in him. Once he managed to calm down, he slowly lifted his head up to look at his partners. They couldn't help but smile fondly at him once they saw his face. Tsukasa was the first to speak up.

"How are you feeling now?".

"Better...thank you, all of you...".

The three partners smiled, before Rui questioned something.

"By the way, how did you all know I was crying...?".

Tsukasa and Emu quickly looked at anything else that seemed remotely interesting all while Nene rolled her eyes.

"Tsukasa and Emu insisted on using your own drone to follow you around".

"N-Nene!" Tsukasa tried to shut her up but she only looked back at him with a teasy smirk.

They both bickered for a while until Rui let out some soft giggles at their sillyness. They all quickly forgot about the drone incident, instead focusing on the sound of their boyfriend's giggles.

"Haven't heard those in a while" Tsukasa brought up as Rui's cheeks softly flushed at the comment. They all quickly cooed at him, which made Rui burry his face between his knees again, except this time it was out of embarrassment. This action only made his partners coo at him more.

"Aww so cute!".

"Those giggles are like music to my ears~".

"Such a precious boyfriend we have~".

All the teasing only made Rui giggle louder. His shoulders gently shook as he let out flustered giggles. "Nohoho...!".

"Looks like someone caught the case of the giggles~".

They all giggled alongside their giggly boyfriend, until a mischevious yet fun idea blessed their brains. Tsukasa cleared his throat before speaking up.

"Since our amazing boyfriend seems to be in a giggly mood, I say that we help him out~" teased Tsukasa as he poked his side. Rui instantly squeaked at the tickly touch, hugging his knees tighter.

"Oooh? Does Rui want the coochi coos??" Emu asked in a teasy tone as she softly stroked his other side up and down.

"E-Emu plehehehease!" he tried to gently swat away her hand but his arms were suddenly being pulled above his head by Tsukasa. While Nene playfully sat on his legs to keep him from curling up. He smiled nervously, knowing what was to come.

"So...do you think you can keep your arms up?" Tsukasa asked with a teasy smirk. Rui's blush grew deeper.

"I-I can try...".

Tsukasa smiled at him as he wrapped his arms along his neck. Rui tensed up as he braced for impact, he took deep breaths trying to ignore the tickly feeling, but once he felt Tsukasa poke at his armpits it was over for him.

"AHH-! W-WAHAHAIT! TSUKASA NOHOHO!" Rui's shoulders shook as he struggled to keep his arms up.

"Oh alright, I'll spare you that spot...for now~" Tsukasa giggled evily as he gently tickled along Rui's neck and jaw.

"Eep! Hehehehehehe!" Rui giggled himself silly as he tried scrunching up his shoulders.

"Aww, coochi coochi coo~" Tsukasa whispered into his ear, which caused him to squeak.

"EEK! Nahahahaha! Not thahahat!".

"But Rui loves the coochi coos!" said Emu as she playfully poked his sides up and down.

"aHA-! Ehehemu nohoho!" silly Rui shook his head and squirmed from side to side. As flustered as he felt, he was having a lot of fun. Tickling was a big comfort for him and his partners were well aware of that, they were always happy to indulge him in such a fun and comforting activity.

Suddenly, he felt some evil fingers poking at his tummy. He jumped and jolted at each poke delivered by Nene. She only watched in amusement, no teasing or anything, as she poked away at the sensitive spot.

To make matters worse...or better in Rui's case, Tsukasa started to gently scratch behind his ears, earning the cutest giggles and squeaks from their ticklish boyfriend.

"Pffft! Ahahahaha! T-thahahat tickles!".

Rui's partners smiled fondly at him, they enjoyed watching him have some innocent fun.

Not long after, he felt his shirt being pulled up as an evil finger inserted itself into his bellybutton, softly tickling it.

"GAH! N-Nene nahahat thehehere!" poor Rui let out a squeal as he arched his back, surprisingly he managed to keep his arms up at all times.

"Tickle tickle tickle~" Nene softly teased, earning another squeal from the flustered male.

After a bit more of those soft tickles, Tsukasa decided to spice things up a bit.

"You've managed to keep your arms up pretty well till now, but now I wanna hear you really laughing!" without another warning, Tsukasa dug his fingers into Rui's armpits and as he expected, his arms came crashing down in an instant.

"BWAH! AHAHAHAHAHA! TSUKASA NOHOHO!" he tried to squirm away from Tsukasa's tickly fingers but it was pretty hard with Nene in his lap.

The three of them laughed at the goofy and silly sounds Rui made at the armpit tickles, he was so ticklish there how could you not wanna exploit that spot?!

Rui's face went bright red, from the tips of his ears all the way down his neck. His eyes were also pretty watery, but his smile was so big and his laughter so bubbly and bright, it was all worth it.

Once Rui started hiccuping from the more intense tickles did his partners relent their tickle attack. Tsukasa slipped his hands out from under his arms as he gave him a tight hug from behind, Nene remained cuddled up in his lap, and Emu was cozily snuggled into his side...which felt a bit tickly. Rui took big gulps of air as his giggles subsided...or atleast most of them.

"Hehehe! T-thahanks for thahat..!" he looked over at his partners with a genuine smile, the first one in a while.

"No problem! And remember, we're here for you. Next time you don't feel so well please come talk to us".

"Yeah...sorry for not bringing it up sooner...and for becoming so distant..." Rui couldn't help but frown at the tought.

"Don't feel bad! We know you didn't mean to!" said Emu as she playfully blew a raspberry on his side.

"GAH! AHAHA!" Rui did a violent jerk to the other side, but with Tsukasa's firm yet comforting grip on him he wasn't able to squirm much.

"A happy face did always suit you better, you look weird when you're all gloomy" spoke Nene softly, trying to light up the mood. Rui looked down at her with a soft smile and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I am feeling much happier compared to before thanks to you guys".

"Good!" cheered out Tsukasa as he peppered soft tickly kisses along the back of Rui's neck.

"Pfft! Ahahahahaha! T-Tsukasa thahat tickles!" poor Rui would try scrunching up his neck but Tsukasa would just kiss wherever it was exposed.

Nene couldn't help but roll her eyes fondly at her dorky partners, while nuzzling deeper into Rui's chest. The three of them kept on showering Rui with love and affection...and tickles for the rest of the day. He was glad he had wonderful partners he could rely on.

___________________________________________

As I was writing this it hit me, I think I've been feeling so sad because of...hormones SKAKSKAJS. 'Cause I've been feeling symptons these few days and this sadness basically showed up out of nowhere which has happened in previous months. Soo...yeah SKAJSKAJSJ

Idk about you, but whenever I feel sad for no reason I LOVE reading angst fics (especially from the haikyuu fandom for some reason LMAO, now I wonder if there are any prosekai ones...). 'Cause if I'm feeling sad, might as well get all them tears out once and for all SJAKSJAI

This was fun to write! It was quite the experience, and I'm actually feeling much better now!

#project sekai #colorful stage #tickle #colorful stage tickle #project sekai tickle #fic #tickle fic #colorful stage tickle fic #project sekai tickle fic #rui kamishiro #tsukasa tenma #emu otori #nene kusanagi #lee!rui #ler!tsukasa #ler!emu #ler!nene #a bit of angst??

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haeroniel-doliet · 2 years

Text

A lil updates and thoughts going on rn! Mostly about art again :') putting it under read more tho bc it got away from me again all rambly lmao

Hooo wheee! Life has been a little busy huh. Finally going to work again even if it is pretty much part time, other hobbies im keeping up with, trying to keep up on life admin and its going almost well! Shame im realizing i havent worked on my drawings in well over a month now 😅

Part of me is slightly dreading going back to them rn bc ive spent hours and hours on them already and they still need many hours before i post them....

You know that one guy on like tiktok/youtube shorts whos a really friendly old artist with a hobbit hole studio and does like 1hr paintings that look incredible? Obviously i dont expect myself being rusty and also not with years and years of experience to do the same but wouldn't that be the dream? To be able to just create and be done and happy with it in just an hour or a few and move on. How sad it is how many things i have started and not finished, outting in hours and hours where it doesnt really make even a super significant difference.

Also its that dinluke positivity week thing (god i hope this doesnt show up in the tag lmao sorry) i was really hyped months ago thinking its great prompts and great time to partake in my favourite fandom especially before february 2023 inevitably changes the scene in some way! But all of a sudden mid november is here and thats kinda terrifying! I have no clear idea for any of them, nothing im like desperate to draw and my current drawing doesnt really fit them either. Im thinking maybe i should try like, giving myself idk 2 hrs max to just make something beginning to end and if i hate it its ok i dont have to post it. But maybe i will and it could be fun! Sure i am too tired to properly do anything but idk, even making one post could give me excitement and hype for things i used to enjoy and something that isnt just real life and like job related.

To be fair i could also go for the much more guaranteed dopamine boost and play a video game ive been thinking of playing again for months. Sure i dunno which to choose and im not like super inclined to anything even tho i would like to play multiple of them again, just playing alone is a little boring i guess.

The more i spend just overthinking the quicker my sunday will be over and ill have to do next week and god knows ill be busy!! I should try drawing bc its there floating in my mind and could be easier to slip in into the day routine to do a little here and there rather than like, playing skyrim for 30 mins loll. Or oblivion bc for some reason ive been missing it. Or battlefront, even tho that is really hard to play without really trying my hardest and getting readjusted to the pace of it

Alright ok im gonna set up my digital art stuff, im gonna challenge myself to sketch something on theme for all the prompts and see what ends up catching my attention. If i can do 1 or even a couple of them thatd be really really neat!

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uniquezombiedestiny · 2 years

Note

🔊 + owen, but also + vera

for owen:

---

out of sorts i’m lost in a lie / kinda funny how everything good seems to die

i’m so tired, burdened by choice / ever bound to speak in someone else’s voice - hes pretty much trying to follow the others choices but he is So Tired

less than none, i’ve already won / ‘til the job is done by no one - he just. disappears. but comes back bc he has a whole ass job and also lives with people ('when do i get to go home and see my family?' 'thats the neat part! you dont')

let’s fade to black and disappear / finally at peace with a revere

falling apart your plastic heart

ah, what a mess, you’re second best

build it up and drown it out / and look at what has happened now - pretty much the same as the 'less than none' lyric

turn away what can’t be accepted / all of my imperfections - continuing from the last line (lyric? line? idk). his explanation for why he just. leaves

it’s getting hard to see / maybe i should let things be

holding on and ripe for rejection / ah, what a warped perception

it’s quite the shameful deed / i’ll let you take the lead - just disappearing and coming back is shameful so hes just like. im gonna be in the background. everyone elses got this 👍

out of chances to make things right / kinda funny, i tried with all my might - out of chances to fix things/himself?

oh, i’m so weak, i’m immature / ever bound to seek and never know for sure - hes trying to find a purpose (probably) but like. the rest of this/the above line exist so its hard

“keep it moving! you can’t stop now” / how i’ve made this far, i don’t know how

ah, always forward, never turn back / the past will move and then start to unpack

stutter and stop / these mangled memories of mine - could be regular memories becoming warped to him, or if he gets to know hes in a timeloop and get all those memories hed just. lose it for a while

keep splitting apart / you’re drowning in the wine - continuing from/same thing as the above line

fake it ‘til you make it / try a little harder - kinda like advice from his friends or his observations of how theyre so okay (they arent but yknow they act like they are)

grinding to a halt / you’re nothing but a martyr - both in general and about day 50 as a like. realization that maybe this (living to d50 [unlike everyone else]) was his purpose

hes just. depressed as hell. tbh that explains like all of this lol

also i didnt consider this being owen much until now and wow it actually fits pretty good

aaand for vera:

---

“ah, i’ll try a different viewpoint!” / another fallacy

despite all my best intentions, i still played make-believe - about the 'turn back now' line. in relation to the 'vacant places' line, she could be looking in the wrong places

i’m scouring the vacant spaces / to find an awful sight - trying to find the truth of the timeloops and how to stop them

despite the dread i still move forward

turn back now, you can make this right - about the above + going down the wrong path/having the wrong solution or intention (saving everyone by just obliterating the loops + their problems. live in a fantasy :))

none of that matters anyway / surely you can live your life another day? - vera @ everyone lol

waste away, always dreaming / again, confused! it’s so deceiving

so we live a lie seldom would detest / close your eyes and breathe a sigh, who would have guessed - theyre at l corp, a. wing thing idk. wing of the world?? its a good job on the outside 👍

and still, to say that this is best...?

every photo triggers recollection of what’s gone / caught the perfect angle, begging to be lead on

so, dance along! tell me i’m everything and more / still ignored, how deplorable!

i can’t be what you want

in this empty city, the shadows run our lives - the city + the head running it both suck. everybodys sad etc etc

just outside the stillness, i’ll wait in the moonlight - in l corp shell wait to save the people there

there’s no need to cry! tell me, were you hoping for more? - either mv @ vera or vera @ like everyone once she straight up becomes the light/her own hopes and dreams (thief of hope moment)

make a mess, fake a happiness / my vision starts to blur - continuing the last line, 'fake a happiness' being about how her light-y like. state makes people stuck in one place in time, never able to feel negatively. but if its about mv @ vera then instead she just gets happy out of like. absurdity ("isn't it funny???????????" <- losing their mind)

i like vera :) i always thought this song fit her. also kinda fits manager vera too, and like. all the veras really

also i see bleach as like this songs brother song (and it fits gem whose pretty related to vera [in a story way lol])

#ty for the ask :) i love my blorbos #learned more about owen through this #finally he gets a story #im kinda like. ig overhauling my ocs rn #so this is nice #and also if these like contradict anything idk #i base so much of this off songs #and homestuck classpects #asks #owen #vera #lc ocs #oc lyrics

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cracka1604 · 11 days

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sure i guess - C

sup internet, cracka here. is it bad that this week i have spent mostly doing nothing, playing baseball, stealing, and reflecting on my life? reflecting a lot i must add. im not a good person but that doesnt change the fact that others love me for who i am, yes im still on that topic. self love is something i have a lot of trouble with, i have done horrible things in my life. such horrible things, i regret them a lot. im not a good person by any means, but i think everyone isnt if you judge them on their decisions in life instead of their personality. i ask of you reader, look in the mirror after this and think of people who love you, why do they love you? if you dont know this assume why. why should you love yourself? dont think about things of the past, think about recent, good events. what rights have you done? how many people have you made smile or laugh recently? you are a good person reader, i know it.

baseball

mentioned last post, i played baseball. i crossdressed and mostly played outfield, got yelled at by my friends, hell and people i've never even met before, talked about dead by daylight and left. but it was fun, i think the mere group of people was so interesting to me, all these new faces and names i've never seen and heard before was so exhilarating, but as soon as i got home i just felt nothing. i was fucking exhausted, sore, and awful feeling. but in the moment i was so *alive* and just... there. i was in the groove you know? i think this is a good representation of myself, in the moment im energetic and out there, but by myself or out of a group im so... dead. im still and motionless. in these moments i normally get sad or something like that but again, im just out of it, dead. it was fun though, i look forward to playing again with the group. oh, and the names of the teams were GOONERS and EDGERS. im not joking. i was a GOONER.

the fear of missing out

i must admit, i have a great fear of missing out on things. especially with events or similar things. im not a very 'talk first' kinda gal, most of the time i wait for other people to talk first to me, and if i want them to talk to me i dont talk to them, i just hope they can read my mind and talk to me. im a weird person, but every time someone talks about an event to me or something that has or is happening i just think in my head "damn, i wish i was/is there..." its quite annoying, i wish i didnt have the impulse of agreeing to every offer of hanging out or checking my phone every 5 seconds just staring at my inbox or dms list.

im weird

very weird

the weekend

for those out of the loop its kinda the weekend right now its quite odd how im very very greatful for this weekend unlike others most of the time i just go: 'hey, its the weekend, nice, no school!' and i go about my day not having to worry about anything but right now, im very very happy that its the weekend for some reason, i have no idea why but im just glad. maybe its the fact that i can rest, or spend time with others, i dont know. i just like the fact that im here and living right now, or something i dont know

but anyways, im tired, its late, and im cracka signing off

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star2sworld · 15 days

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5/22/24 things are I don’t know

I haven’t been on here in awhile so there is a lot to say. First, I scrolled a little down my page and god I saw the post I made about HIM last year and god I am so glad that situation is over with. It was actually so so bad. After we stopped talking things got really great for me you know. Practicing self love helped me love me for me. Not so much anymore though. Don’t know when I stopped but I did . It sucks because I feel like I worked really hard to get to where I was just to have it messed up by some boy. I mean I didn’t like him but it takes me really long to get over anything and just not being chosen hurt me I guess. I say I don’t care then think about it everyday . I mean I’ll eventually really stop caring. I wish I could stop caring now. On top of that I just finished reading perks of being a wallflower and I saw myself so much in Charlie. I ended up sobbing reading the last few pages. It was just sad. And on top of that Deeya makes me feel like she doesn’t want to talk to me. I’ve also realized that she’s kind of really negative and only focused on the bad parts so I decided to stop talking to her from today. I think she will be fine be she she adopted a dog today. The dog will save her.

I feel like I’m lying to myself when I say things are getting bad again because I’m not sure if they really are. I mean I’m doing good in school, I’ve been driving, and living I guess. I do feel off tho. My energy isn’t there and I haven’t been doing much for the past few weeks. I kinda don’t want to get better. And i especially hate taking to my therapist. I’m sorry I’m kind of writing like Charlie but I just feel like it

I decided collectively to delete all of my social media as well as ghosting deeya. I’m pretty sure I’m going there next week. Not to her house but to Ohio. If it comes up i will text her I guess. Also I kinda feel like relapsing… I just got the chills

Maybe I’m just to into my head and I’ll feel better in the morning and maybe I won’t. I’m going to try my hardest to do some self care tomorrow. I think that is the biggest cause for how I feel. I wish I never talked to that boy. He really messed me up and I barely spoke to him! Idk, just messed up my flow. Ik im focusing on the negatives right now but I just want to let it all out

Im also listening to sad songs so its adding onto the sadness yk? I also hate my body but I try to just avoid staring at my self for too long. I’ve been feeling un pretty too. I don’t feel like saying ugly. It’s pretty Kate and I have school in the morning.

I have to make up my English keystones which is embarrassing to even say LOL. But I do because I didn’t take it on the keystone days so I’m just going to take it on the makeup day which is tomorrow. I’m listening to Alex G right now

I do journal on here from time to time. Well not here on my journals app. But I want to start saying it on here because I feel like I am talking to someone and I’m being heard even tho no one will see this. My account is public so it’s still a possibility

I think the book just made me realize how lonely I feel. Just like Charlie. Having no friends does suck. And I’m going to be alone next year. When I graduate and that’s just really sad for me. I always sit alone during pep rally’s and I already hate that so much. I also have social anxiety so I know graduation is going to absolutely suck. Unless I start loving myself and start living freely. Then I won’t care if I get judged. I thought I was at the point but at the end of the day I still care about getting judged

Im getting tired I think I will sleep soon. Also, I’m going to really try to keep this no social media thing going for as long as humanly possible. I want to be done with social media especially tiktok as a whole. I have brain rot from being online so much.

One last thing. My friends birthday is coming up this Friday. I need to make her a bracelet so that’s all I’ll be doing tomorrow. I’ve gotten really close with her and I love being friends with her. Sometimes I’m scared it will get too awkward and then realize I’m not her cup of tea. I feel like I’ve always struggled with friendships tbh. I just came fake it and be bubbly so I’ll just be quiet and go mute basically. I feel like I’ve never reached that level of friendship. It might be good in the beginning but it never last yk?

Well she invited me to her birthday party. It’s next week and I’m nervous to go because her friend group will be there and I don’t know any of them. Only know of them. I’m not sure they’re okay with me even coming. I don’t want to like disturb them or interfere with their friendship and make the party awkward. I’d rather just stay home if that was the case. But, I decided to go for my friend bc I have it out her before me in this case. She invited me so I’ll show up for her. I hope it goes good. Who knows maybe they will be my future best friends. I just hope it goes good. I’m going to be manifesting it.

I’m going to visualize a good day tomorrow and then visualize me connecting to her friends really well and having a good time.

So yeah, that’s all I can think of and have the energy to write. My hands are hurting so. I’m going to be writing on here a lot with the date in front. Tomorrow I will decide when I want to go back to social media or if I want to go back at all. I just want TikTok for the pictures cuz that’s where I take my selfies lol.

Anyways! I have to be up early because I have to shower and get ready for school. Wish me luck on the keystone. I’ll try to write in the morning if I can. I’m sad I will miss class because I want to see my friend ( the girl who’s birthday party I’m going to.

Okay goodnight

going ghost on the world once again

Oh also 2 weeks until school is over yay

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sexdrugsrocknroller · 4 months

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aight im making a post so i can say im using this shit like an actual diary

right now i have a grandeur of disorganization on my phone (laptop too but thats been a piece of junk since forever, fuck acer), between the basically full storage, mostly from the gallery (as of now i have a grand total of 93k photos. yes, 93 000 photos and videos.) plus my socials are fucked between the excessive saved and liked posts on instagram, same goes for tumblr here and twitter (i dont really use twitter, i only have an account to like and bookmark posts) and the youtube playlists and chronology.

plus my room is all messy with my not enough space for clothes and random papers and shit thrown together on any surface

i decided i dont like that and im changing it.

for the storage, i have already started deleting quite a bit, right now i deleted like 2300 elements but theres a lot more. sad part is that a lot of it is porn, wether drawn or short videos. im not gonna go full monk and delete all of it, though it would be easier, cause some of it i like. not to talk about the amount i already had to transfer on the laptop when i was tired of receiving warnings about the full storage in the last 2 years. i was also thinking of doing a backup of the whatsapp chats on the laptop so i can delete all the data on the phone storage. it would save me like 6 gb but its kinda extreme.

for socials, the solution is the same. tumblr: gradually remove liked posts i dont need to keep saved, and post what ive been keeping to post like i should have. last i checked, i had like 35k liked posts, and again, a lot of it porn. im not sure i want to post porn and erotica on this blog so for now im reblogging it on an alt, hoping it doesnt get deleted again. then ill have to unfollow some of the 4k blogs im following. guess what part of them are?

instagram, im not even going to remove all of the saved posts. its the social i used most to scroll at, i dont have the option to see how many posts i have saved but i dont think it would be an exaggeration to say i have at least a million. yea i know. im just going to get to a certain post i remember saving this summer, once im at that i will probably make another account altogether since i would never be able to clean all of it. i started this on around mid to end january, and as of now im just at mid october. after something like 20 non consecutive hours. yea its bad. it wouldnt be worth it to go past a certain point. better to just make a new one at that time and be more careful there.

youtube, i have the same problem of all social, i open a video just to keep it in the chronology so i can check it later and maybe save it. ive done it far too much. at least youtube is much faster to clean, but again i would never be able to check every single video i have left in the chrono to save at a second moment. thankfully once im done i could just go on settings and choose to do a tabula rasa of it, removing it completely.

twitter is probably also not worth the trouble of sitting thru all the posts i liked as a way of saving them. i probably shouldnt even care about it. this one has the least priority.

saved tabs on the browser? the easiest one by far out of all of it.

my room and the house in general, there isnt any second road, i just have to first remove and throw what i clearly dont need, store away whats left with some degree of order and hope i saved some space, and try to keep clean, plus store things with stricter orders so its cleaner. after my room and things, its time for the rest of the house.

all of this will be slow, gradual, and a major pain in the ass, but it has to be done and i intend to do it.

and all of this doesnt even include having to remake and update my cv and linkedin in preparation for when my contract ends, planning what to do for university between tests and papers and documents needed and all that, and this arguably has higher priority than all of above time and importance wise. but yknow. actually you dont know. even i dont know.

#me post #post of me #diary #journal

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biblebitch-666 · 8 months

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Entry- 10/8/2023

I've been talking to this guy for a little bit of time now... it started during the summer maybe towards the end of my little vacation. He's really nice and kind, and kinda nerdy too, which isn't a bad thing. He's a software engineer and majored in computer sciene at uw too, which is a red flag but he's really nice. I guess that's how a lot of this starts huh, me always saying "but theyre nice!!!!". I like him, we still haven't hung out yet so I can't really say that I like him too much, since I am trying to control my feelings until I know the person more.

We had planned to hangout once, they invited me to hang at their place on last Wednesday from this date. when it got to the day I was looking forward to it so muchhhh, i got snacks for it too and all like we planned, but when I messaged them later that day to confirm out plans, they said that it was better to postpone it. They said that they would be free later than expected and since they had work the next day that it would be better to postpone it. Postpone it to when? idk, we never talked about when we could hang next. Maybe I'm not sure if it will ever happen, i've already been through the whole 'says they want to hang but then never talks to me about hanging out or ever does anything about it' with guys. I'm scared to invite them to things because I know they're busy and will probably say later that week, and maybe I'm just tired of waiting. They have a lot of things goin on and have a lot of fun things they do with friends, i'm not something fun to look forward to compared to that.

I don't want to ask when they are able to hang out with me because I don't want to seem needy or desperate, god I want to spend time with them and get to know them, but I don't want to be the person who always reaches out to hang, since i've already done that before. I think im just sad and maybe even jealous that I don't get to hangout with them. I get embarrassed to write my own personal thoughts, even knowing that this is only for me lmao, so i might as well say it, im just sad my plans with them get postponed when they have so many plans made with their friends. Like of course they get to hang with their friends lmao, im not mad at them for doing so and Im not mad they are hanging with their friends. i just wish that maybe one of those plans could be made with me. They're a busy person and I know this, but when am I gonna decide that I should be attracted to people who actively choose to spend time with me.

I keep imagining someone who texts me asking to hangout, and making plans with me throughout the week. Telling me hw exited they are to hang with me, and reaching out to me first about it. I imagine they ask to call me too. maybe this is how it feels to have someone attracted to you, and someone who cares about you, god i hate this feeling i have rn, the lump in my throat realizing that i've haven't felt cared about in a long long long time. I'm still on tinder and hinge, which makes me feel bad because im talking to giulio rn, but I know we are nowhere close to exclusive, i mean we haven't even hung out yet. I just don't want to talk for a super long time and thennnn make plans, because then it just feels awkward. Like plans are made not because you want to hang with me, but because of obligation. And I hate the fact that im always the person asking to hang, it makes me feel bad, because it's obvious why they haven't asked me yet.. I shouldn't let it affect me because there are so many people who want and enjoy my company, but it just sucks that it's not them who do. I imagine someone who tells me that they think about me everyday, even while at work. I once had someone tell me that they thought about me while they were working, i feel so warm inside, so cared about. because what about me has you thinking about me? the way I talk, the way I look, how I make them feel.....

Sometimes I just wish they would tell me they don't care about me so we could get this over with. So I could finally know how they felt about me, even if it's something that will make me cry. I want to send them a text and ask if they're able to hang, and if they say they don't know when since they're busy, i'll just drop it and maybe distance myself. stop sending the goodnight texts, the good morning texts, and stop adding the extra letters that I do. If they care maybe they'll notice and make the effort to talk to me more and spend time with me, but i'm not gonna get my hopes up with men. but maybe im scared they'll say yes and want to hangout with me, I know how to deal when things get bad , so I don't know what to do when things go good. I don't want things to get bad, I just want to know how they feel. We don't text consistently, which is something that I don't mind, but sometimes i just look forward to when they text me knowing that it won't be for another long while. Because when someone texts me actively and we have a long texting session it just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. I'm so pathetic....

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