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#nor bother them either tbh. why should they have to waste time because im a fucking idiot?
tortademaracuya
·
11 months
Text
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#idk why i thought it would be different this time
#im an absolute idiot. im too fucking stupid to comprend all this shit
#'maybe my professors will know how to help me' they never tell me shit. they havent helped me at all. i feel so stupid every correction
#no matter how much i read or what i watch its like i cant understand anything
#i used to love programming!!! i used to actually know what i was doing!!!!! when did i become so stupid!!!!
#should i aak for help from someone else? probably! but i dont want them to know how much of an idiot i am
#just kidding. i know all my friends know how stupid i am. doesnt mean i dont want them to give them even more proof of that
#nor bother them either tbh. why should they have to waste time because im a fucking idiot?
#im. such a disappointment
#i dont want to do this anymore
#every monday is just me going to that stupid class and see how dumb i am compared to everyone else. so pathetic
#how did i even manage to pass all my classes? how do i only have my thesis left?
#part of me wants to abandon everything but what would i do then? look for a job?
#im an idiot and a horrible artist where the hell would i get a job? not like finishing my thesis would change that but. yknow
#im so scared. for real how did it end up like this?
#everyday i feel more stupid. i remember less. my body hurts a little more each day for reasons unknown
#i dont understand how others have any expectation of me
#i cant talk to others because everytime i have tried to express any worry i instantly get a joke or mock in reply
#im so tired of everything
#haunted.txt
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